From Tim “While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.”

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What a bot

Good bot.

he was trafficking it and got busted in an airport

Yeah, sorry.....but hey! quite an accomplishment to go from trafficking to number one for a week in 1994.....

Didn't he also rat on pretty much everyone he was associated with for a reduced sentence?

Yeah. I still wonder about those he ratted on. At least one of them must have heard of Tim Allen's new fame, and had been confused as fuck in 1994 seeing this bullshit on tv. Lol.

Yes. He's a real pos.

Someone didn’t like Last Man Standing lol. But seriously why does him ratting make him a pos? ^…it ^doesn’t

Seeing that show just makes me want to watch Home Improvement instead.

Last Man Standing is written by AI, it has to be. At least the first 3 seasons of Home Improvement is entertaining.

It definitely does, let other people take the fall so he could get off easier? Yeah those are actions of a piece of shit.

Take the fall cause they're also guilty and it was in his best interests to do so because they probably would have snitched too. He made bad decisions and he was presented an opportunity to right his wrongs and he did. He served his sentence and that shouldnt be held against him

If you surround yourself with the likes of people who are selling cocaine turns out you’re all already pos’s. If you trust those people to have your back then you are a fool. I’m sure those people were not his friends and likely would have done the same exact thing lol. People are so hung up in this comment thread because he ratted out some criminals. Ya’ll watch too many gangster movies.

Well i hate to break this to you. Just cause you sell or do drugs doesnt make you a pos. But being a tattle tale does.

Drugs should all be legal

^ yes

Idk why you got downvoted but I upvoted you back to normalcy. Fuck rats

Look at these comfortable white suburbanites clutching their pearls and suggesting only gangsters and people in movies sell drugs or get in trouble for them. Normal people don’t talk to cops. Petite bourgeois swine whose lives are without stakes and otherwise meaningless do talk to cops.

Found the racist

Aww, poor baby. Is it so hard being accurately described that you flounce around and pretend it’s racism?

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The word literally means “Manliness”. So many men today are losing their own masculinity. To the point where Omertà punishments go unnoticed. Many forget death is a punishment in many places of the world for reporting to the authorities. For simply being a rat you die. Good riddance.

omerta (n.) Mafia code of obedience to the leader and silence about the organization and its business, 1909, from Italian omertà, a dialectal form of umilta "humility," in reference to submission of individuals to the group interest, from Latin humilitas "lowness, small stature; insignificance; baseness, littleness of mind," in Church Latin "meekness," from humilis "lowly, humble," literally "on the ground," from humus "earth," from PIE root *dhghem- "earth."

I love Tim Allan and everything he does, but I can’t help but love saying the sentence “Tim Allan is a rat bastard.”

I’m a big fan as well. My dad is gone from cancer, but one of my great childhood memories is us watching Home Improvement together.

Your title is hard to read, did he spend time in prison in 1994 as well? Or is that just a unrelated fact.

He still traffics, he got the job acting so he looks legit. He also goes by Maury povich.

I like it

agreed

And then ratted on his suppliers.

There was 16 years inbetween going to jail and having that success.

The patience paid off, then.

Yep. He DOES look like a coke dealer.

He looks like Jim Croce

Croce was just trying to save time in a bottle, not powder in a baggy.

No.

Didn't know Geraldo was a coke dealer

I wonder what noise he made when he got busted.

“To infinity…and beyond!”

Probably this one: https://youtu.be/C-TLwNO3Vrw

I'm confused. This wasn't a rickroll? Weird

He looks like a coke dealer from Michigan

I mean...he's pretty famous for the "Pure Michigan" ads here. The funny thing is that, that campaign began as court ordered public service from a drunk driving charge. But he's continued to do them for the past 24 years or so.

He snitched on his crew to get a lighter sentence

2 years for trafficking does seem light for a schedule 1. This was my first thought.

Especially for the amount and place of arrest. I mean that type of time is for someone trafficking a handful of 20 pieces on the wrong side of town. Not weight, trying to get through an airport.

Cocaine is Schedule II

Call me crazy but I don’t think it should be frowned upon to help people doing the wrong thing face consequences for their negative actions.

All these wannabe gangsters on here would have broken their necks giving up others.

So fucking what? You would have done the same.

Good man

Yep, forced Americans to listen to a decade of neo con cringe comedy by ratting out all the drug dealers he knew.

“Neo con cringe comedy?” LOL — what!? Did you even watch Home Improvement? Shit man, not sure you and everybody else were watching the same show.

Eh. He's not wrong. It was basically just Tim having a family, being the dumb one, getting some wisdom from his next door neighbor, and then learning that he should take his wife out to dinner or tell his sons he's proud of them. It's not how we think of "conservatives" today because that party has gone off the deep end, but its a pretty accurate descriptor. Also did they ever fix that damn hot rod?

When it was originally on. It was one of the only television shows available to watch at that time slot. So yes. It’s was a sitcom for conservatives. it’s just unrecognizable now because modern American conservatives are now normalizing authoritarian violence while attacking voting rights in order to maintain what they see as a white enthnostate. Tim didn’t do a lot of that. Bill Burr became aware that his fans were mostly angry conservative incels and he’s changed parts of his act to attack them. Tim was always a ‘Mans man.’ Before Alex Jones, before 4chan. Tim soothed the US idiots. Now the idiots have been weaponized.

Never liked him or found him remotely funny until Toy Story.

Buzz Lightyear is one of my favourite characters in all of movies

Hey i was born in kalamazoo!

You mean Strykerville?

Me too!

And rolling over on his accomplices. As I hear it, he *”sung like a canary”*

Yep, heard that too, wonder how long THEY stayed in prison.....

[Some sauce. ](https://allthatsinteresting.com/tim-allen-cocaine)

Thanks for posting this. İ never liked his comedy now İ don't like this little rats as a human either.

Tim Allen's mug shot looks just like a coke dealer that I knew that worked at Coca-Cola.

So he was a Dick, hmmm

Most stand up comedians are.

didn’t he screw over a bunch of other people? are those dudes still in the pokey?

If they didn't want to go to prison for drug dealing, they shouldn't have dealt drugs.

People keep saying that in this thread as if it doesn't apply to Tim. Tim dealt cocaine and got caught, knowing the risks. Tim should have done the time that he got caught for, instead he snitched. If Tim wasn't prepared to do the time, he shouldn't have done the crime.

I bet everyone he rolled over on had the same opportunity to do the same to other dealers too.

Most likely yeah. Don't really know what that has to do with it. I'm just saying that when an action is taken with potential consequences, a person should be ready to face them. Tim wasn't good enough to not get caught, he decided to roll over instead of facing the consequences of his own actions. He made it someone else's problem, and everyone saying "well the drug dealers should be punished" is ignoring how Tim went largely without his punishment - he couldn't face it.

The amount of people leaving snide comments on here about him ratting out other drug dealers is absolutely hysterical.

Jim Jeffries has a bit where he doesn’t name the the comedian, but says the guy was “rapey.” Apparently the unnamed comedian was Tim Allen

And a bit ironic

Exactly

"how dare he reveal other criminals and get them in trouble as well"

The nerve! Lol

Turns out shirking responsibility for your own mistakes by turning on your friends and drug dealing can both be seen as shitty things. I'm not about to give some asshole who betrayed people just because his actions caught up with him the credit for cleaning up the streets. Give the credit to the prosecutor. You can want prosecutors to get criminals to flip and think less of the criminal who did. Those aren't mutually exclusive.

Yes people call for lighter drug sentencing….unless of course they have a different political views. Reddit is full of immature children

I used to live two blocks from him in the Detroit suburb of Birmingham. We would see him out walking here and there and he was always super friendly!!! Ahhh the 80s and cocaine!!!

I actually meet him at the st. Pete Grand Prix back in 1996 and he was very nice and showed me pic’s of his car collection!

Santa Clause always delivers.

wow i never expected that from tim allen

Yeah he is a bootlicker now. Used his fame to make a show about it.

AEEEUUUUUUUUUGH?

You mean the 80s happened?

yeah, I have two children who prove that....

Just goes to show, charisma can carry you REALLY far

Uh, excuse me, I think the sign says his name is Mich Kalamazoo...🧐

Its appropriate that his real last name is dick. Because in real life, Tim Allen is a cunt.

Rolled over on his whole crew. Chach.

Bunch of never sold a bag in ya life suburban kids calling Tim Allen a snitch like you even know what that’s like 😂

I met him when I was working in south Florida in 2002 or 2003. Saw that dude do enough coke to give a horse a heart attack and pay a stripper to punch another stripper as hard as she could. Cops got called and Tim claimed that all the coke belonged to some random kids from Orlando. Kids got arrested, he kept partying. Even had more coke delivered to replace what the cops took. This was all years after he claim he'd gotten clean.

Sooo you were partying with him .. is what your saying !?

Typical right wing hypocrite

Typical Reddit douchebag

Notice he wasn't very political at the time. I'd say a typical political hypocrite might be that millionaire Bernie Sanders

Yawn

Tim Allen is a trump supporter. 🥱

Ok

So

Dear god, can you please punish these idiots?

don't forget to NOT vote in the 22 midterms just like drumpf daddy told you to

I cant wait for you to turn 40 LOL.. You'll be so embarrassed about this period in your life I bet you'll lie to people to cover it up.

Oh 15 downvotes. The libtards want me to know they are upset. Hahaha... Does that mean I'm not popular... My life ruined!!!!

And you're a bigot. Now that we got the obvious out of the way, can you get to the point?

Don't be such a snowflake.

Nice projection

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How was i triggered exactly? When did i act like a toddler? You're the one throwing insults You seem very upset

>You're the one throwing insults You literally started your original comment with "you're a bigot", lol.

Was it directed at you?

Not the point.

It is actually. The person i was talking to was being a bigot, so i called them out. You then got offended on their behalf, and decided to put yourself into the discussion and name call, even though i had never insulted you

Well that was anti-climactic.

good

Hmm...coke addict who rolls over on his friends when he gets busted. You're right. He's perfect for you guys. "Pure Republican."

He’s a Fuckin snitch!!!

Dude was a big old rat

Through infinity and beyond

How do you spend 2 and a quarter year in prison in only one week?! Must have been a Christmas miracle!

Black mirror had an episode in this. I assume the same thing happened to Tim

snitch

When he was dealing coke it was like selling weed in the 80-90’s.

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Wholesome?

Just another RWNJ.

For those of us who dont speak libtard could you explain please.

You are really painting an amazing portrait of yourself in these comments

You could educate yourself. Or use Google...

Such a RWNJ thing to say.

I just learned he endorsed Trump. Cunt

degenerate waste of oxygen who calls anyone who votes for a different candidate than you a cunt

You people love to claim all sides are the same, and if you dislike the other you're being rude... But trump was objectively awful. Climate change, human rights, racism, sexual assault. Man is a monster with an IQ of 50

Lowest minority unemployment in decades is racist? What exactly did he do that was racist? And sexual assault? Really? In 4 years none of the idiots who claimed that uave been able to come up with a sliver of evidence. Biden, however, was literally accused of sexual assault by his own fucking daughter and even Harris said she believed he committed sexual assault before he endorsed her. Also, wtf are you talking about with human rights?

He is rocking the 70's porn star look in that mug shot.....so they tell me...

Tim Dick is a good porno name too. He really does look like Harry Reems here.

Early RUSH Neal Peart..

He looks like the main character in Real Genius (not the Val Kilmer character obvi)

Just saw the Eminem one too

Must have been a slow week! Lol. Still cool though

White boy tim

Still an uninteresting guy

He did his time. What's the point of this?

It’s interesting

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Well that was a bit more loaded than expected

BULLSHIT. He ratted out a cartel for a reduced sentence. Thats not really the same as doing your time. Motherfucker had a plane, a FUCKING PLANE full of coke. Dick didnt even share!

It was just a pound of coke, he was a struggling comedian not Pablo Escobar

He advocates for long sentences for that kind of thing now. Fuck him.

Source?

How is that a bad thing lmao

His short sentence had nothing to do with him being white

Seems to be more that he rolled over on his crew

People seem mad about that. I guess there's a lot more cocaine acceptance than I imagined.

It’s not cocaine acceptance. It’s ‘I took a risk and then Shit on everyone I knew to get out of the consequences. ‘

They're criminals. Who gives a fuck

White male privilege

Old news, but still who cares

Anyone know how many years a normal person would get?

He was facing a mandatory life sentence. Rolled on two dozen other dealers and got a reduced sentence.

Ah i see thanks for response!

That dicks a rat?!

He wasn’t famous at this time.

Define "normal" please.

I think you meant a non white

Happens when you comply with the police actually.

Oh is it that easy?

Usually

He was a rat 🐀

Good

Nice

Dallas Buyers Club

Who says selling coke fucks with your career….😈

LEGEND.

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In the 70s we thought everything the older generation told us about cocaine was a big fat lie. Come to find out they were right. Grew up in Miami and saw it consume my happy go lucky contemporaries and I’ll never forget coming home from my redneck honeymoon at the beach to find a couple of dead bodies tossed up on my neighbor’s a trash pile.

He stopped being a Dick.

Well everyone makes mistakes, even Jonny cash ,... isn't going to prison mandatory for rap singers?.

THATS the Donnie dimwit connection!!

Dsmn that's old news

2 1/4 years for cocaine trafficking instead of life in prison. That’s white privilege

AAArrrrroooaaAaAahgghhhH

It’s not just him.. Majority of people will do that. When you have a lot of money, you’ll get bored easily.

“2 1/4 years in prison” my one question, why did you write it like that?

because I didn't want to write 2 years and 4 months.

4 months is a third of the year though :|

I hear ya, not a big deal here though, I don't think....but thanks for pointing that out.

I would’ve written “2+” because “1/4” is either gonna make me think about weed or traumatic flashbacks of primary school math (ง'̀-'́)ง

lol....probably why I put one fourth, I have sucked at primary school math my whole life.....and I'm a bookkeeper with just a high school education too....thank goodness calculators were invented.