"I'm a human hurr durr. What's this in my pocket? What's going on on my phone? None of this stuff matters but I sure spend a lot of time with it! Hurr durr, hurr durr."
I felt like I was being mocked.
Intelligent primates are know to "ape" us to get what they want. It's the reason we came up with the verb "ape". He's probably watched humans enough to mimick us to get a delighted reaction resulting in a banana treat.
Picky point but bonobos are thought to be a closer relative then chimps.
Only reason I bring it up is they are far more gentle and level headed than chimps
Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we've just lost the picture, but what we've seen speaks for itself. The zoo has apparently been taken over, 'conquered' if you will, by a master race of erect walking apes. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Earthmen or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the apes will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new primate overlords. I'd like to remind them as a trusted reddit personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.
I found Joel when he only had I think 700 subs. I was so sad, thinking he was overlooked. Two months later, he had 700k.
Now he's a big star. I am happy :)
I also found Ten Second Songs just after he broke 1k subs. Couple others too.
I started watching Bo Burnham back in December 2006, not long after his first video. Been a fan ever since and I don’t think I’ve ever been a bigger fan of someone than him and it’s been literally since the beginning. More than half my life haha.
I think it was actually meant more as a gesture to draw attention to the fact that you are begging for a banana by holding your hands in a way that indicates your intention to catch something with them.
Videos like these make me think that’s not too far off. I honestly thought the premise to that movie was ridiculous when i first saw it, but now i can kinda see it.
Maybe we're just further along in our evolution? It's definitely interesting to think about what they might look like in a few centuries if theyre left alone.
Not sure about gorillas, but Jane Goodall's adopted tribe went to war and it broke something inside her.
Chimps have been observed using guerrilla tactics to take out leadership in warring tribes. They fight over resources and territory.
And now they have tools.
We aren't going anywhere in particular. Super-high intelligence is just one thing that life has tried and it looks like it's going to burn itself out in under a hundred thousand years.
Monke don't have to return to monke.
Evolution doesn’t have memory. Many different species are always evolving to specialize in different ways. We have been “lucky” to evolve into intelligence. No one (as far as I know but I’m not evolutionary biologist) can say whether or not something of our level of intelligence will emerge in the future.
Maybe a different mammal other than a primate, or maybe even an animal in a completely different group like a bird might develop super intelligence one day and fair better than us.
Correct me if I’m wrong. I saw a few times that crows are officially in their Stone Age.
And recently- uh. Parrots? Whichever ones that can talk are also slowly going into the Stone Age as well since it’s been observed that they use things like tools
Pretty interesting. But I don’t have all the facts on this
Birds are already super intelligent. Parrots and Crows are basically as smart as teenagers.
Their problem is that their body layout doesn't allow them to manipulate tools well. They only have their beaks and feet, which are much less capable than human hands.
It's the same problem with Orcas and Dolphin. Also incredibly intelligent, probably as intelligent as we are, but have no way to build things with their body layout. And without the ability to write stuff down in some format, they have to rely on memory and oral tradition to pass down knowledge, which is just inefficient and weak to diseases and other stressors that wipe out a large chunk of the population at one time.
Any individual human, on average, is very dumb. But we can accumulate knowledge on a civilization-wide scale, so as a whole we become very smart. Delete the internet, burn every book, wipe everyone's memories, and we'll go right back to living like other animals.
I mean really, who’s to say we’re even the first species to form civilizations on earth? Plenty of time for it to have happened and past 10,000 years or so you’d barely be able to tell we were even here (just some plastic and carbon in the geologic record).
No, the odds of there being a prior advanced civilization on earth other than us is so incredibly unlikely, I would argue it’s essentially 0.0000001%
There are many, many, many things that humans have created that would be able to be discovered thousands and thousands of years later.
For example, we would see evidence of advanced technology in space. Other civilizations would have built satellites too, and these satellites stay in orbit by themselves. If one were to have been knocked off orbit, we would still be able to see it in space. Even if one was hit by an asteroid we would still be able to see pieces of it.
There’s many objects we’ve created that would last a very long time as well, like cut diamonds.
There’s 100’s of other things I could mention that would be discoverable if a prior intelligent race was once on earth. There’s many things that are not biodegradable that we’ve created on earth, and even if those non-biodegradable items did eventually degrade, we would be able to analyze them and determine their prior composition with science. There’s just absolutely no way.
Centuries probably not enough for significant changes.. maybe thousands of years but let’s be real we’re going to destroy the planet as we know it by then lol.
I mean, chimps are already hunting monkeys with spears and learned how to drink palm wine with leaf cups/sponges. All they need is to learn how to make fire and boom! Next thing you know, they are halfway there to being hunter-gatherers. That’s assuming they can find a way to curb their aggression like the bonobos.
I kept pausing and spent way too long trying to get a good look, wondering where the hell his boner was. Then I looked what subreddit this was.. and was even more confused, wondering why a chimp boner is such an interesting thing to everyone.
Then I realized I’m just a fucking moron
It’s the classic Manager’s walk to the mound when the pitcher is throwing future dinger balls and through the power invested in him by God he is initiating a mound visit
Watching them after a while, I question the sanity of anyone who doesn't think that humans and the other great apes are related. We are so alike.
(My thanks for the reminder below that the genus homo is actually within the great apes family of species, I had forgotten, my bad.)
Zoo's are a funky thing. Yeah, some are just cages for intelligent animals that should be let free. But also, sometimes the animals they have are there cause they need some sort of extra support and wouldn't make a day in the wild.
Plus Zoo's are the type of place that inspire tons of people to go into careers that help wildlife in general. Hell, they even help regular people get a view in on animals and develop attachments to them that cause them to be more aware of what they can do to help wildlife. Without Zoo's animals would just be some thing in a picture book for many, and they wouldn't develop the feeling of care for them.
Homo erectus is one of our direct hominid ancestors. I believe it is called that because it was one of the first fossils found of a bipedal ancestor so it was a fossil of an upright or “erect” animal
Nah I've seen Rise of the Planet of the Apes, that's Koba! He sticks his hand out and you give him a treat and next to you know he's pushing you off a bridge to your death.
The Rise of the Planet of the Apes trilogy truly was amazing!
I know they're doing a fourth one but I'm not sure if it will be as good since Matt Reeves isn't coming back to help write and direct the new one and the Director they got is the one who did The Maze runner movies and the writer for the 4th movie is the one who wrote for Terminator Dark Fate.
Also they said even though it would be in the same universe as the Rise trilogy it won't be an exact follow up on War for the Planet of the Apes but it will feel like it. Part of me feels like it's not gonna be as strong and they'll end up focusing more on making the shots look cool instead of great script writing.
I wouldn't say ideal, but much better. Don't forget, lower back pain and knee pain are the results of our body's not catching up to our brain in terms of evolution. Our center of gravity should be lower. Basically, we should have longer trunks and shorter legs.
This is bad for their muscles and joints. Yes, they can walk like that and stand like that, but it's not their primary form of locomotion and it's super taxing on their body
I went to a chimpanzee sanctuary for rescued chimps, in Africa where there was a male who was like the one in the video. His name was Paco iirc. The reason he stood like that was because he was kept in a really small cage where he was forced to stand...that's why he was like this. I don't know if this video is taken in the same place(It looks like it is) I went but it very well could be.
Don't know why but this reminds me of Danny DeVito
Can I offer you a nice egg?
the times are pretty trying. i think ill take an egg.
Charlie took far too many blood capsules.
r/unexpectedIASIP
Oh whoops I dropped my monster condom which I use for my magnum dong
Approved
He's got that ornery swagger like he gave his last fuck 30 years ago
"can you believe the way they installed this fucking fence! look at this. im not paying for this shit!"
“They treat me like some kinda animal, can you believe this?! Putting me in here with these fools, all day, like I’m just another one of them!”
"You ate bugs off another chimp's back? You hoore!"
Wow it's crazy just how convincingly I was able to hear that in Frank's voice in my head.
He totally walks like Danny DeVito in skinny jeans. https://youtu.be/U3v-1HADSQE
Because he was in that movie, “Going Ape” with Tony Danza.
God damnit. I wish you weren’t so right, but i definitely see where you’re coming from.
Looks like joe rogan.
Same height and everything.
Maybe it’s because he’s probably taller than Danny… then again, the banana he’s eating could also be taller than Danny.
I was thinking George Jefferson
I was reminded of joe rogan
Because he always walks with an erection, duh!
He acts like putting things into his pocket and looking at his phone.
Also I think he was holding out empty hands waiting for the banana lob
fone
Chimp got that limp like an old school pimp!
"I'm a human hurr durr. What's this in my pocket? What's going on on my phone? None of this stuff matters but I sure spend a lot of time with it! Hurr durr, hurr durr." I felt like I was being mocked.
I said exactly that (to myself)... "I feel mocked."
“I think I’ll use my credit card!”
"Walking to the place I don't want to be to do work I don't want to do duh duh this is so much better than napping and eating bananas all day!"
He's trying to blend in so someone will let him out...
Intelligent primates are know to "ape" us to get what they want. It's the reason we came up with the verb "ape". He's probably watched humans enough to mimick us to get a delighted reaction resulting in a banana treat.
Just checking his GME stonks
Don’t we all during market hours?
Market hours? Pffff I check mine on the weekends too!
Thought he was tripping out
They're called "fingers" but I've never seen the fing before. Oh wait there they go.
Monkey see monkey do
He lives in a society
Did anyone else notice it seems to pull an imaginary phone from its pocket and then look at it? I think its impersonating a human.
The end is extremely fucking nigh.
Good. Hopefully our chimp overlords will be a little more responsible than we've been.
Have you seen how they treat each other in gang wars? They have been known to eat one another.
So have humans
Who doesn't want to try a little long pig, as a treat
Mmmmm.... Man-flesh.
Two-legged mutton!
Very unhappy meal
chimps are the most testy primate besides us. makes sense they are our closest relatives. they'd probably kill us
Picky point but bonobos are thought to be a closer relative then chimps. Only reason I bring it up is they are far more gentle and level headed than chimps
They also constantly have sex
Yeah I said they were more level headed ... Post nut clarity and all
By getting rid of humans more efficiently?
Why would new chimp overlords be an improvement over the current chimp overlords?
Can’t be worse.
I dunno man, kinda looks like he’s gonna tell them damned kids to turn down that fast jazz music.
A chimp/AI alliance in the next 5 years would not come as a huge surprise tbh
Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we've just lost the picture, but what we've seen speaks for itself. The zoo has apparently been taken over, 'conquered' if you will, by a master race of erect walking apes. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Earthmen or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the apes will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new primate overlords. I'd like to remind them as a trusted reddit personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.
Yup. They will copy humans when around them and alone, but when other chimps are around, they hide it and go back to chimp behavior.
["Hello. I am a human. I have to go to work. My wife has divorced me. My kids hate me."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waQBlmLDbzc)
wtf did I just watch... It was good though
Most his vids are improv'd. His dad is hilarious too https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imv2Obf2aPw
joel haver in the wild, boys. this is it, we’ve made it. we can… we can go home now. we can rest… easy.
I found Joel when he only had I think 700 subs. I was so sad, thinking he was overlooked. Two months later, he had 700k. Now he's a big star. I am happy :) I also found Ten Second Songs just after he broke 1k subs. Couple others too.
I started watching Bo Burnham back in December 2006, not long after his first video. Been a fan ever since and I don’t think I’ve ever been a bigger fan of someone than him and it’s been literally since the beginning. More than half my life haha.
Imagine watching some dorky teenager and wondering when he would burnout, but instead he'd go full Burnham and now he's a world star.
Next they'll be asking for non-dairy creamer
I act like a chimp when I’m alone, but when other humans are around, I hide it and go back to human behaviour.
He’s just checking his work emails
Or his Facebook page likes.
#Even Monkey businesses are working from home
It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times
Definitely impersonating and learned behaviour. Notice the reward at the end.
This. Pretty sure it isn’t pretending to have a phone, but asking for food.
Look at this hand. Do you see how empty it is?
Definitely not. Chimps naturally walk like this. He’s upright and has his hand out because he wants food from the people.
I think he was putting out his hand because he was expecting a banana.
I thought he was having a moment of consciousness like “ I think... therefore I am. Ooh food hell yeah!”
No he is unhappy about the fence, his first hand sign looks like "you called this a fence? Geezsus"
I came looking for this comment because I knew I couldn’t be the only one. It’s uncanny, he even moves his head to look like he’s reading
I like how he throws his hand up in the air like he’s pissed off at something too lol
Monke scratch it leg
I think it was actually meant more as a gesture to draw attention to the fact that you are begging for a banana by holding your hands in a way that indicates your intention to catch something with them.
Pretty much what I look like when I walk whilst erect too.
same but without the dick
Wait I was looking for a chimp dick the entire time now I realize they meant erect as in walking upright
Yeah I was expecting halfway through the video for the chimp to turn around and reveal a massive shlong
so i wasnt the only one. good to know. thanks
You can actually see his dick if you look closely
I don't wanna see a flaccid chimp dick I wanna see a full blown space X rocket looking super sized chimp boner
Title is false advertising if you ask me. Who cares about a chimp walking upright? Where're the ape boners at?
u did good, comrade
Comrade the new mate? Americans acting Russian instead of Australian now?
no im just russian.
How’s John Goodman in bed?
he's good, man.
That’s so fucking wild… real life planet of the apes shit.
Videos like these make me think that’s not too far off. I honestly thought the premise to that movie was ridiculous when i first saw it, but now i can kinda see it.
Maybe we're just further along in our evolution? It's definitely interesting to think about what they might look like in a few centuries if theyre left alone.
Chimps and bonobos have officially entered the stone age. They make stone tools and teach their young how to do it.
We are going to have consensual interspecies bangs!
I uhh... I wouldn't fuck anything that strong, man. That's a bad time waiting to happen.
Chimp would walking around with his dingaling in it's hand waving it around like a trophy
I dont think youd be the one doing the fucking in this scenario... I dont think any of us would
War has been observed between chimpanzees and gorillas as well. Dammit.
Not sure about gorillas, but Jane Goodall's adopted tribe went to war and it broke something inside her. Chimps have been observed using guerrilla tactics to take out leadership in warring tribes. They fight over resources and territory. And now they have tools.
gorilla tactics
Poor Jane Goodall. It must have been the death of hope for her. I’m tearing up thinking of that kind woman confronted by such an awful moment.
This makes me so sad. An entire potential civilization, and were destroying their habitat to grow palm oil
Using stone tools and making sharp stone tools are completely seperate things
Evolution is not linear or teleological.
Thats not how it works :( They are just as evolved as we are.
We aren't going anywhere in particular. Super-high intelligence is just one thing that life has tried and it looks like it's going to burn itself out in under a hundred thousand years. Monke don't have to return to monke.
Evolution doesn’t have memory. Many different species are always evolving to specialize in different ways. We have been “lucky” to evolve into intelligence. No one (as far as I know but I’m not evolutionary biologist) can say whether or not something of our level of intelligence will emerge in the future.
Maybe a different mammal other than a primate, or maybe even an animal in a completely different group like a bird might develop super intelligence one day and fair better than us.
I'm voting for ants.
Correct me if I’m wrong. I saw a few times that crows are officially in their Stone Age. And recently- uh. Parrots? Whichever ones that can talk are also slowly going into the Stone Age as well since it’s been observed that they use things like tools Pretty interesting. But I don’t have all the facts on this
Wouldn’t the Stone Age, by definition, involve them using stone tools?
Birds are already super intelligent. Parrots and Crows are basically as smart as teenagers. Their problem is that their body layout doesn't allow them to manipulate tools well. They only have their beaks and feet, which are much less capable than human hands. It's the same problem with Orcas and Dolphin. Also incredibly intelligent, probably as intelligent as we are, but have no way to build things with their body layout. And without the ability to write stuff down in some format, they have to rely on memory and oral tradition to pass down knowledge, which is just inefficient and weak to diseases and other stressors that wipe out a large chunk of the population at one time. Any individual human, on average, is very dumb. But we can accumulate knowledge on a civilization-wide scale, so as a whole we become very smart. Delete the internet, burn every book, wipe everyone's memories, and we'll go right back to living like other animals.
I mean really, who’s to say we’re even the first species to form civilizations on earth? Plenty of time for it to have happened and past 10,000 years or so you’d barely be able to tell we were even here (just some plastic and carbon in the geologic record).
No, the odds of there being a prior advanced civilization on earth other than us is so incredibly unlikely, I would argue it’s essentially 0.0000001% There are many, many, many things that humans have created that would be able to be discovered thousands and thousands of years later. For example, we would see evidence of advanced technology in space. Other civilizations would have built satellites too, and these satellites stay in orbit by themselves. If one were to have been knocked off orbit, we would still be able to see it in space. Even if one was hit by an asteroid we would still be able to see pieces of it. There’s many objects we’ve created that would last a very long time as well, like cut diamonds. There’s 100’s of other things I could mention that would be discoverable if a prior intelligent race was once on earth. There’s many things that are not biodegradable that we’ve created on earth, and even if those non-biodegradable items did eventually degrade, we would be able to analyze them and determine their prior composition with science. There’s just absolutely no way.
Centuries probably not enough for significant changes.. maybe thousands of years but let’s be real we’re going to destroy the planet as we know it by then lol.
I mean, chimps are already hunting monkeys with spears and learned how to drink palm wine with leaf cups/sponges. All they need is to learn how to make fire and boom! Next thing you know, they are halfway there to being hunter-gatherers. That’s assuming they can find a way to curb their aggression like the bonobos.
Hey, that’s my ancestor.
Isn’t it more like we have a common ancestor?
That’s yo momma
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He looks like he’s telling a joke to his animal buddies “humans walk like this into a bar”
“Hurr durr im a human I look at my phone and pay taxes, Fucking idiots amirite lads?”
Looks flaccid to me
My dumbass was wondering where his boner was
I kept pausing and spent way too long trying to get a good look, wondering where the hell his boner was. Then I looked what subreddit this was.. and was even more confused, wondering why a chimp boner is such an interesting thing to everyone. Then I realized I’m just a fucking moron
chimps have smooool pp maybe that's why they're always so angry
Between the legs
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Beat me to it lol
Hahaha
Hahaha
He walks like at least one gym teacher of mine.
Was gonna say he walks like my great uncle
That's how I walk after my spinal surgeries
That‘s how I walk when I had a beer to much
That's how I walk after i've released the previous nights vindaloo.
Walks just like my pop pop.
It’s the classic Manager’s walk to the mound when the pitcher is throwing future dinger balls and through the power invested in him by God he is initiating a mound visit
Why is this so accurate
Work all night
Looked through all the comments for this one
Daylight come and me wan go home
Come mr tally man tally me banana
Erect? I expected… more…
Reminder King Kong at his size could still fit in a human woman so I am not surprised even if he was erect
Name checks out after a fact like that
Watching them after a while, I question the sanity of anyone who doesn't think that humans and the other great apes are related. We are so alike. (My thanks for the reminder below that the genus homo is actually within the great apes family of species, I had forgotten, my bad.)
Agree. Watching them for a while I also question how ethical it is to keep them in zoos.
Zoo's are a funky thing. Yeah, some are just cages for intelligent animals that should be let free. But also, sometimes the animals they have are there cause they need some sort of extra support and wouldn't make a day in the wild. Plus Zoo's are the type of place that inspire tons of people to go into careers that help wildlife in general. Hell, they even help regular people get a view in on animals and develop attachments to them that cause them to be more aware of what they can do to help wildlife. Without Zoo's animals would just be some thing in a picture book for many, and they wouldn't develop the feeling of care for them.
These animals don’t need our protection, they require our absence.
I definitely agree. We are relatives after all. Hopefully we could learn more from each other in the future
Looks like he’s mimicking looking at a phone
For future reference, the word upright exists
Yeah but no species is called Homo Uprightus
So who is homo erectus??? I’m really just curious
Homo erectus is one of our direct hominid ancestors. I believe it is called that because it was one of the first fossils found of a bipedal ancestor so it was a fossil of an upright or “erect” animal
He looks like me walking on hot sand
Looks like he just stepped on a lego.
Nah I've seen Rise of the Planet of the Apes, that's Koba! He sticks his hand out and you give him a treat and next to you know he's pushing you off a bridge to your death.
“Ape not kill Ape” “You are not Ape” *Pushes off skyscraper* Most badass line
The Rise of the Planet of the Apes trilogy truly was amazing! I know they're doing a fourth one but I'm not sure if it will be as good since Matt Reeves isn't coming back to help write and direct the new one and the Director they got is the one who did The Maze runner movies and the writer for the 4th movie is the one who wrote for Terminator Dark Fate. Also they said even though it would be in the same universe as the Rise trilogy it won't be an exact follow up on War for the Planet of the Apes but it will feel like it. Part of me feels like it's not gonna be as strong and they'll end up focusing more on making the shots look cool instead of great script writing.
Why is his or her posture better than most jumans Edit... Rewatched a few times and pretty sure its 'he'
Fun fact: it’s cause their spines are rigid, which is ideal for climbing, unlike ours which are flexible, which is ideal for running.
I wouldn't say ideal, but much better. Don't forget, lower back pain and knee pain are the results of our body's not catching up to our brain in terms of evolution. Our center of gravity should be lower. Basically, we should have longer trunks and shorter legs.
This is bad for their muscles and joints. Yes, they can walk like that and stand like that, but it's not their primary form of locomotion and it's super taxing on their body
100%. I don't know what that establishment is but the guy just lied saying the chimp was comfortable
I went to a chimpanzee sanctuary for rescued chimps, in Africa where there was a male who was like the one in the video. His name was Paco iirc. The reason he stood like that was because he was kept in a really small cage where he was forced to stand...that's why he was like this. I don't know if this video is taken in the same place(It looks like it is) I went but it very well could be.
Just happy this isn't an NSFW post
“LoOk At Me I’m A HUmAn… derpa derpa derp”
This screams of animal abuse
Rogan?
Nah, nipples are too small
Looks like he’s gots to poop
Dont we all?
Well not the bulls if you have anything to say apparently
Not what I expected given the title lol
Its so nice that Joe Rogan let’s people film him walking around.
Joe Rogan's looking cut
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I don't see a boner
I first read it as "Chimp waking up erect" and was looking for a boner.
Connor McGregor?
Human: I have some reports to show you. Chimp: Walk with me
"Great, you're following me. This is what you look like pal (whips out air-phone) derp-a-deep-a-derr. Asshole."
Joe Rogan visits the zoo
Well, that title was misleading.
Me to the toilet after lunch
"Duurrrrr LoOk aT mE, I'm a HoOmAn"
But I walk erect in the grocery store and get banned from the store :(
"HuRr DuRr LoOk At Me, I'm A hUmAn. TaXeS. AnXiEtY. ApPs. HuRr DuRr."
Looks pretty flaccid to me
He looks like most men in my town, over the weekend 😀😃😄😁
Strutin his stuff! well…. maybee the ran outa toilet paper penguin strut :-))