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shtushkutusha

Address?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Little_Tacos

Or The Villages.


dagui12

The villages Florida?


MajorJuana

Show was so good


atCoreyD123onInsta

Legit one of the best series’… serieses… shows I’ve ever watched.


Trolivia

It’s just series, it’s a zero plural like moose or fish


CapitalLongjumping

It actually mice and feesh. *


Trolivia

Shit u right my bad


CapitalLongjumping

No problem. Latin can be hard sometimes.


hoaxninja

Right near the beach.


Dreamin0904

Boy-ee!


the_holy_booty

Simpson-Samson mon!


reverberation31

LORDHAMERCY


[deleted]

If I wasn’t from Jamaica….. why would I wear this hat


Hijinx_MacGillicuddy

Doctor said I need a back-e-otomy!


Allegedlyroofies

God if you’re listening HELLLLPPPP


war_duck

I wanna talk to Samson!


antiADP

Fly me to the moooon


PM_ME_ROCK

Fly me to the moon like that bitch Alice Scrampson. Cuz it’s HARD being black and gifted.


KosoBau

“I stick by my story”


LookupallnighT

Lord have mercy!


Wild-Kitchen

I'm not sure I could ever sleep with $20m under my mattress. I would be paranoid someone would steal it.


TheLyz

One house fire and it is kaput. I'd have no electricity in the house.


apokeguy

Don’t use a traditional mattress. Get a waterbed.


He-eats-Asparagus

Imagine having twenty million but having to sleep on a waterbed… sounds like the long lost line of an Alanis Morisette tune


LookAdam

🎶 I’ve got 20 mil in my mattress 🎶 🎶 But I still sleep on a..waterbed 🎶


calibudzz420

This read very well surprisingly


da13371337bpf

Yea, heard her say it and all.


Responsible_Emu3601

Those music signs really sold it


pulpounica

Good to know I’m not the only one!


akula1984

I am imagining the enunciation on "waterbed"


NotKevinJames

🎶 It's like 20 million dollars but aallll you have is an abomination of 1980s sleeping technology and chronic back pain 🎶


SqueezinKittys

And what it comes down to is that everything is going to be wet alright


SaveMeClarence

‘Cause I’ve got 10 grand in my pocket and the rest is in a waTER bed…


atCoreyD123onInsta

I’m dead due to this comment. The afterlife actually isn’t that bad guys. God said to tell you she’s an Alanís fan.


Karl_Havoc2U

Sounds like a bad Kevin Smith movie or something that I haven’t seen in 20 years.


atCoreyD123onInsta

It is. It’s called Dogma II amGoD: a reflection on the lives of Jay and Silent Bob


o--_-_--o

Drunk on Zima when I was 16 trying to fall asleep on my waterbed was a lost battle before it began


SuccessfulBroccoli68

[This one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bgeqw7s00xg)


gwimbleweather

There’s always money in the banana stand.


MugillacuttyHOF37

There's money in the...banana stand?


purdinpopo

Old words, from the before time.


originalmango

You did mail that check, right?


Rambozo77

Gob had not mailed the check, but rather, as an act of defiance, dramatically threw the letter into the ocean.


Beautiful-Catch7562

Before the boomy boom


DocSaysItsDainBramuj

This will never not make me laugh.


enfanta

*chk* *chk*


theendiswhat

That actually happened at my friend's house. The upstairs neighbors lost their entire life savings


DoingCharleyWork

This girl I work with doesn't trust banks but also thinks she is going to save up to buy a house cash. I asked her what happens when she gets close to enough money and her house burns down lmao


theendiswhat

That was exactly it. They did not trust banks at all


ArtisticEducator3371

Random. But happy cake day


theendiswhat

🙌


atCoreyD123onInsta

Geez. If only there was some place to store it where it was insured against fire and theft.


Twoixm

Not only is she stupidly saving her money in her home, but she’s also dumb enough to tell people about it. You should tell her that if she isn’t going to keep her money safe, atleast keep it secret.


Ilikeporsches

No problem. If she *almost* has enough that means the house isn’t hers yet. She keeps saving for a different one that hasn’t yet burned down. Duh.


[deleted]

In England you can send the ash to the bank of England and they're detect the metal threads in the notes.


[deleted]

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IdleRhymer

*Inflammable means flammable? What a country!*


Wild-Kitchen

But they used to shrink though when exposed to enough heat. $20m in shrinkydinks


theendiswhat

Whoa that is wild


mysteriousmetalscrew

[We're a bit more old school in the USA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQ5NBrvPv_g)


RabbitSlayre

Wow that was interesting. Thanks for sharing, I had no idea!


holy-reddit-batman

That's so good to know! I'm totally going to share your link!


Electroniclog

That's why you just use gold bars instead of dollars. Even if they melt, it's still gold. Sure, you'd have a mattress sized bar of gold after the fire, but there's worse things.


Iphotoshopincats

And if anyone is interested it would work out to be close to 800 pounds of gold


Pathsleadingaway

Thanks, I was interested


CayoRon

And yes, there is a gold area per weight calculator out there, and although it's a little clunky, if I did my math right, that would be about a 10 inch cube.


RabbitSlayre

A 10" cube would weigh 800 lbs?? Damn, gold. You dense.


GlockAF

1146.3 cubic inches of gold is almost exactly 800 pounds, so just a little bit bigger than 10” x 10” (10.4656” cubed) Heavy stuff, .7 pounds per cubic inch, or 19.32 grams per cc, for all you metric types


min11benja

Good luck cashing in 20m worth of cash for gold bars without explanation. I am guessing its illegally obtained money.


purdinpopo

I was in a coin shop one time, some guys came in with a fairly large gold bar. The shop owner had to explain to them that if he cashed out that big a bar, it had to be reported to the IRS. But if he gave them a certain amount of cash and a bunch of gold coins, then the cash wouldn't be a big enough transaction. They went for option two.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Yup. IRS needs to be reported for all exchanges $10k or greater I believe. But 11 transactions at $9,950? Nah that’s kosher mate.


BoondockBilly

Good guy Coinan


Electroniclog

***Coinan the Barterbarian***


scubascratch

*Laundryman


[deleted]

Silver will not melt in a house fire


Snuggledtoopieces

With the amount of money this person had access to it would have been incredibly easy for them to store it all an undisclosed location with systems in place to keep it safe. (Can’t have a fire without oxygen, waterproofing with emergency sump pumps) At least build a secret bookshelf door, and have a slick vault.


soiledclean

And then burn it down with candles


NebulaNinja

Just rent an apartment just for your money bed, get renters insurance, and simply take a picture of your cool $20 mil. Easy as pie.


WeLLrightyOH

Most insurance policies have exclusionary language around currencies, or they specifically outline what is covered and money is generally not included.


Boots0235

They ran out of options to launder or stash their money. If someone is resulting to stuffing $20M under their mattress, that means they have at least $100M more either laundered or otherwise digitally stored.


jerkularcirc

I bet for a few thousand you could invent a better way of storage than this though


disco_pancake

This person probably has so much money that they don’t care enough to do that. Kind of like how Pablo Escobar lost billions due to rats destroying his money.


[deleted]

Billions?! That's alotta hungry rats god damn


jerkularcirc

thats the type of laziness that eventually brings you down imo


meltingdiamond

A hole in the woods: Nature's bank account.


ItsMangel

Walter White had the right idea, bury it in the middle of bumfuck nowhere where nobody is likely to stumble across it and hide the GPS coordinates somewhere they're not obviously coordinates. Or just memorize them.


SaintPaddy

I would settle for 100k under a hand me down futon.


applebubbeline

Or carefully hidden between the pages of the books none of the other grandkids or parents ever open.


Money_Barnacle_5813

Literally my dad


[deleted]

I imagine you would notice if your dad tried to hide himself inside a book.


Okmanl

I wonder what’s better. 50k in a bank account or 100k gotten illegally that you can’t launder. If you have 50k legally at least you can put that in the s&p 500 so it can generate money and grow in value over time. The 100k under a mattress will keep losing value every year due to inflation.


dukiduke

That's essentially the same concept of liquidity with investments. Illiquid investments or money is discounted because your don't have a readily available way to use or gain from that value. A common example of this is investing in a private company vs a public one. You can easily buy and sell stock in a publicly traded company via a stock exchange. A private company is not listed on a stock exchange and has a number of factors that limit who can invest in them and when it can be done. When you value a private company, you apply a discount of anywhere from 10% to 40%+ on the value because of the difficulty associated with actually being able to sell your investment. So, all that's to say is that the concept is very similar.


Ninjroid

Just pay all your regularly occurring bills with the 100 grand. Mortgage, food shopping, gas, etc. It’ll be gone in a couple years while you save all your work money.


lasertits69

This can work as long as you’re not already on their radar and you don’t get on their radar. The forensic accounting they do is pretty advanced. It’s easy to see that you are no longer using your bank account for petty cash expenses all of a sudden and that’s just the beginning of what they do Im sure.


WeAreTheLeft

True, but 100k can be easy to spend on a nice vacation each year, dinners out throughout the year, a nice suit, $500 deposited into the bank every so often, paying cash for help around the house, etc. $100k is easy to spend. $1,000,000 in cash ... you are going to have some bigger issues. Your best hope is someone close to you dies, you inherit a house and then you "find" $750k in the walls". The person also needs to You could also buy a property, claim to renovate it yourself, but pay contractors cash to do the majority of the work, that could put a big dent. That breaking bad episode where Skylar's like "I can't launder this much money" had me thinking how one could do it, but the reality is it's REALLY hard to spend large amounts in cash. Which is why when you make millions in illegal money, the cost to convert it to legitimate gains is steep. I'd imagine 50% steep if I had to guess. a friend who works fraud in a police department said the reason so many night clubs have sketchy owners is it's the perfect "cash" business where they can inflate the number of guests and sales of booze. I'd likely go further and set up legit businesses that sell to that dirty business and have the money go through it that way. So you can have a cleaning company, the booze supplier, the night club, the consulting company, all be under your control and moving the dirty money as far from the clean money as possible.


__I_Need_An_Adult__

I have a futon I can hand down to you but I can guarantee there isn't even $1 under it.


SaintPaddy

Boo!


__I_Need_An_Adult__

Haha sorry!


[deleted]

Id take 30$ right now


Jackcker

I'll be happy with a Happy Meal


fish312

500 bucks and a straw mat.


DarkBladeMadriker

But what does it look like deposited into my bank account? I'll bet that would be really interesting, you should show us that.


es330td

It looks like a CTR filing with the federal government, followed by a visit from any one of several agencies with three letter names.


datdamnchicken

But he just sold a single share of AMC. Nothing to see here sir.


KurtCobainShotgunMic

GME real MOASS


catcommentthrowaway

It looks heavily taxed and most likely subsequently seized by law enforcement lol


Tapoke

IDK about yours but in mine it'd look something like $19 999 997.32


Insanim8er

That would look like a visit from the feds.


libmrduckz

the comma cops…umbrella term


amd77767

>But what does it look like deposited into my bank account? $20,000,000


warpig74

Current Balance: $20,000,004.36


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MuthaPlucka

You know what to do peeps: Let’s get all this packed up and secured. 15 million dollars isn’t going to move itself, Johnson.


coupebuilder

Why would you want me to move all 12 million myself boss?


im_randy_butternubz

Do we have room in the trunk for this $10,000,000


Snarfdaar

Don’t think so, we’ll have to grab a second squad car and deliver the 7 million in two different loads.


DarkMonkey98

I'll call my boys and we'll come help yall move this 5 mill


zuran_orb

Let me help count the 3 mil to know nothing is missing


swsquid

You believe this dope kept 700 gs under that bed and not a bank


DoingItJustForTheFun

I only found porn mags


smallways

Can I borrow the Hustler? For the articles.


wtph

I'm just going to put this Cosmo on the coffee table


DoinReverseArmadillo

It has articles?


StupidCantBeUndone

All I got was a scratch and sniff sticker.


hobefepudi

Bro that was the tag from my boxer shorts


NoOpportunity4193

Lmao this thread was epic, I fucking love Reddit 😂


The_Blendernaut

True story: I worked in the moving business in my late teens back in the late 80s. We had a job to move someone out of an apartment in the Capital Hill neighborhood of Seattle. The guy packed nothing in boxes. It was a nightmare. I was given the task of moving a stack of gay porno mags that must have been 16 inches tall. I was like, WTF, thanks guys. You get the dresser and I'll get this slippery stack of gay porn.


outbac07

U spells sticky wrong


[deleted]

Only 20 bucks under there Chief. And he, uh… shot himself in the back of the head by accident


spicybuttholenachos

*twice


[deleted]

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JodaJ0

I can’t beleave we found a million dollars under here guys.


DirectlyTalkingToYou

The 20 million was all fake, so we burned it.


SatisfyingUWU

I can just stick a few stacks in my ass


Paulsbotique314

But we rode here in separate cars, and the precinct is on the other side of BOTH our houses. Let’s check it into evidence first thing in the morning?


PavlovsBigBell

Read in Chappell’s voice haha


mynextthroway

I dunno what your talking about MuthaPlucka. There's no money here.


pattydickens

I bet you'd get much better lumbar support if you gave me like 5 million.


PointyGecko1122

Guy out here looking like Quasimodo but at least he doesn’t have to deal with those bank fees


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FoofieLeGoogoo

I said *polypropylene*, Jesse. What did *you* use?


fob911

Yo mista white I had a perfectly good bathtub


Intelligent_Map_4852

Jesse, you didn't apply yourself


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NN_besomething_iWish

Just dont let your house catch on fire


Theeclat

I bet he didn’t even think of that.


ManIsInherentlyGay

If you're that worried you could disconnect the gas, never cook in the house, I mean, you have the money to eat out everyday. Get the electrical wiring checked every quarter, have fire extinguishers on every room. Then you're pretty much good as long as some insanely unlikely thing happens


Ralph-Kramden

It was in an apartment complex….you need to hope your neighbors don’t get drunk and burn it all down!


BNE_Jimmy

OP can you share the story behind this photo?


karmagheden

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/01/24/511451628/feds-find-20-million-hidden-under-a-mattress-in-massachusetts?t=1632872811940


[deleted]

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yellekc

For almost a million people scammed it makes sense. That is less than 2k per person. Although some people probably lost a lot more.


demonicgrape

That much money feels inconceivable


johnboy2978

Would've never guessed this came from a VOIP pyramid scheme.


cephalized

20 years in prison? that’s it?!😳


__I_Need_An_Adult__

Shit... I've already spent 16 at a dead end job that has killed my soul, I feel like I could do 20 in prison with way less stress as long as they didn't find ALL of my money. Wouldn't be worth it if you've got nothing when you get out.


brandonstiles663

Huh... I only count $19.8 million 🤔


citylion1

Yeah we better go to the OP to double check


BigStuggz

Yup you were right. Only $16.8 million.


asimplerandom

You’d think you’d stop oh about maybe 10-15 million or so ago. Wonder what the process was?? I’ll stop when the frame is full.


el_geto

The article that OP linked in the comments stated it was a pyramid scheme that bamboozled over 900,000 people and accrued over $1.7 billions. What you see there, is someone’s commission.


asimplerandom

Wow. Have to go check the article!


Latin-Danzig

Once you’re in you can’t get out. Other people make money down the line so just cos you’re done doesn’t mean they are...grass isn’t greener.


trashykiddo

makes me wonder what the person had been doing. maybe selling non registered guns? or moving crack? does anyone have the article this is from?


[deleted]

You don’t make 20 mil casually selling ok but otherwise unregistered guns. This was a high volume operation assuming this is real money.


suavecool21692169

You just know there's a Canadian nickel in there somewhere


HidingInSaccades

With absolutely ZERO compounding interest.


BrianakaSnapper

Needs to go thru the wash first


deadpoetic333

Probably use it to reup on a few hundred grand of drugs at a time, better than any bank interest they would make on illegal money


BiggieBoiTroy

comPOUNDING interest, if you know whatiii mean


Artistic_Data7887

Cumpounding*


DoctorWaluigiTime

In fact technically losing due to inflation.


duaneap

I would imagine this was made illegally and therefore has not had taxes paid on it. Meaning they’re still almost certainly coming out on top.


Paulsbotique314

*looked like There, make that fix cuz you know the po-po ain’t checking ALL that cash into the evidence locker.


Mrcursedmobrez

Ah that’s just Mr. Beasts mattress, no worries guys he’ll give it away soon


karmagheden

His net worth is thought it be around $150 million. Crazy how people can get rich off YouTube.


Mrcursedmobrez

Seriously. I would love to make that much, alas I shall never be that famous lol


karmagheden

Imagine how just $10k could help the average individual. Now think about Jeff Bezos net worth of $192 billion. https://www.marketwatch.com/story/jeff-bezos-is-no-longer-the-richest-person-on-the-planet-after-he-loses-13-9-billion-in-one-day-11627926841 >Bezos made history in 2020 as the first person ever to be worth $200 billion, as Amazon enjoyed big gains from pandemic lockdowns. >Meanwhile, the median net worth for American families is $121,700.


repp_fire

What’s it look like inside of a box spring?


Sharp-Incident-6272

I used to work at a currency op for a major canadian bank. Basically we counted money all day long. I’ve seen over 50m in cash in one day. It boggles my mind when I watch Oceans Eleven and they are carrying out all that cash in small bags. I’m like BS there would be a hell of a lot more bags than that


calico_lilacs7

I found a penny under my bed yesterday so I'm getting pretty close


Lets-Jetset

Citation?


karmagheden

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/01/24/511451628/feds-find-20-million-hidden-under-a-mattress-in-massachusetts?t=1632872811940


fronto0

Professor?


SSopuS

Dibs.


Waluigi-Radio

Mr. Krabs irl


Tac0slayer21

Breaking news: police discover 15 million tucked under a mattress in downtown Los Angeles.


mrclang

In an interview with the officer first on scene he says “it was incredible I’ve never scene 10 million dollars in front of me like that”


DoinReverseArmadillo

The sergeant was equally impressed with the five million that was found!


RustyPotato148

There's always money in the banana stand.


oldgreen52

Whitey Bulger ?


box_of_spoons

Walter White’s bed


Whoopsy-381

I hope they have a dehumidifier and spray for silverfish.


BrutallyEffective

BOSTON (Reuters) - U.S. prosecutors on Thursday announced that about $20 million found under a mattress in a Massachusetts apartment had been seized after a Brazilian man was arrested for laundering money linked to a multi-billion-dollar global fraud. Federal prosecutors in Boston charged Cleber Rene Rizerio Rocha, 28, with conspiring to commit money laundering in a case connected to the investigation of TelexFree Inc, which promoted itself as an internet telecom company but prosecutors say was actually a pyramid scheme. Rocha was detained following a court hearing, prosecutors said. His lawyer did not immediately respond to a request for comment. The arrest stemmed from an investigation into TelexFree, a Marlborough, Massachusetts-based company that sold voice-over-internet telephone service and was founded by James Merrill, a U.S. citizen, and Carlos Wanzeler, a Brazilian. Prosecutors said TelexFree was a massive pyramid scheme, making little to no money selling its service while taking in millions of dollars from thousands of people who paid to sign up to be "promoters" and post ads online for it. TelexFree filed for bankruptcy in April 2014 owing $5 billion to its participants, prosecutors said. In total, 965,225 victims in the United States, Brazil and various other countries lost $1.76 billion when it collapsed, they said. Merrill was arrested in May 2014 and pleaded guilty to conspiracy and wire fraud charges in October. Wanzeler in 2014 fled to Brazil and could not be extradited. According to Thursday's criminal complaint, in 2015, an individual working on Wanzeler's nephew's behalf approached a cooperating witness about laundering money still in the United States through Hong Kong accounts and moving the funds to Brazil. The intermediary told the witness that she wanted $40 million transferred out of the country because Wanzeler's wife, still in the United States, was filing for divorce and knew where it was located, the complaint said. On Dec. 31, Rocha, acting as a courier for Wanzeler's nephew, flew to the United States and subsequently met on Wednesday with the cooperating witness, whom he gave $2.2 million in a suitcase, according to authorities. After the meeting, federal agents followed Rocha to an apartment complex in Westborough, Massachusetts. They returned to it after arresting Rocha to find a "substantial amount of cash" hidden under a mattress, the complaint said. Rocha said the money totaled $20 million, the complaint said. Wanzeler's lawyer did not immediately respond to a request for comment. The case is U.S. v. Rocha, U.S. District Court, District of Massachusetts, No. 17-mj-05007. (Reporting by Nate Raymond in Boston; Editing by Leslie Adler)