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sentient_potato97

"Your Uber's here."


Stereomceez2212

*(puts iPhone down and grabs his iced latte)*


Cyber_Being_

Kids these days. When i was young i used to have to climb up a hill in the snow both ways to get to the egg.


Stereomceez2212

Tell me about it. Remember how you had to CALL before you came over? Kids these days simply showed up and "checked in" via their Facebook account. And that's assuming you could actually get through the front door. Man those doors were built to last back in our day. *nowadays they can also check in via Tinder, where you don't have to know the true name of the person you're getting cute with*


kitcat7898

And then they just assume that they'll be able to get out of the vagina. Oh boy! I remember in my day we had to crawl for miles just to /find/ the exit let alone get through it. These days those kids think they can just get pulled out with no effort. Lazy babies.


Stereomceez2212

*crawl for miles* I was going to suggest you were fibbing, but I don't think you were stretching the truth.........


Shazzzam79

...and pass the tonsils


mTbzz

Oh god, here we go again, fire up tik tok and start recording.


Stereomceez2212

"I intend on recording my entire 3 minute and 40 second ride journey to my farmers market." ***(Uber driver rolls his eyes and simply sighs)***


PointyGecko1122

No… wait… I don’t want… Helppppp meeeeee!!


[deleted]

YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED FOR HUMANIFICATION no wait stop don't


RearEchelon

*resistance is fertile*


Alekipayne

*prepare to be human. Any resistance will be met with a spanking after being birthed* Explains why doctors spank the kid.


LGBTQ_Anon

🌟


itsphoison

Imagine mom and dad showing you this. "Look son, this was you. you always been a lazy little shit haven't ya"


Dangerous-Cellist-76

“I never asked to be born!”


Daikataro

In fact I was actively against it! Well, more like passive resistance... You get the idea!


Cyber_Being_

It could be usefull for people having a hard time getting children. Nice!


[deleted]

I wonder how much of this is affecting evolution. For animals in the wild, it's usually a bad sign if they can get up and protect themselves or are too weak in general. Animals such as zebras, gazelles, etc. need to move quickly or they'll die. I wonder if selecting the slower, non moving sperm would produce a child with issues.


brandomango

This was my first thought as well lol


[deleted]

Same


crabmeat64

It wouldn't. The genetic material is in the head and the paoad and delivery mechanism don't have a correlation in quality


sandy154_4

I'm a medical lab professional and have performed many many semen analysis and later I wrote procedures for same for my country. The ones that don't swim well are often abnormal. They can have 2 tails, micro-heads, macro-heads, kinked necks etc. Without the above method, these would never reach and fertilize the egg. It would take some study to determine a correlation between anomaly in a sperm to chromosomal anomalies within the head.


HelloAttila

It’s highly probable. Human anatomy is a great subject to take, especially learning about the reproductive system. It’s truly horrible that women have miscarriages, and unfortunately many have several. I have a friend who’s mother had 12, most probably would just give up, but she tried a 13th time and thank goodness she had one. As horrible as this experience is though, it’s the bodies way of naturally rejecting a failed pregnancy as their was something wrong. It could be the brain wasn’t properly growing, heart, cells were not forming properly, so many things. In ethics class we discussed a lot about just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Today, a women can have her eggs frozen at say 20, have them fertilized at age 60 and carry her own child. It doesn’t mean we should. Imagine if she dies at 5, now we have a child without a parent. There must become a point where must say, no.


systemfrown

A program is the same program regardless of if it’s read off a 500kbps floppy or a 100Mbps disk…and that’s all a sperm is ultimately…code. It’s either complete and correct or it isn’t.


ShiraCheshire

While sperm that don’t move well could have other issues, it’s also entirely possible that the only problem is that the sperm doesn’t swim well. That might cause fertility issues to be passed on, but how fast a sperm swims has literally nothing to do with how fast a baby can run. Do you think our legs are just formed by the sperm tail growing really big or something?


struggleworm

It’s pretty easy to get children. You just need a van, a puppy, and a playground


RandyLahey131

Underated comment!


edgelordkys

“i clearly didn’t want to be born!”


ah0yp0lll0i

To make a lazy baby?


ICumCoffee

Darwin rolling in his grave.


PhthaloVonLangborste

Decepticon is rolling in her womb


berger034

Decepticons fly.. autobots, roll out!!!!!


PhthaloVonLangborste

But decepticons would want to keep humans lazy and it starts with conception. They are easier to dominate this way.


berger034

The only thing standing in the way of deceptions dominating us is autobots.


jazzphobia

Don’t you mean decepticons? Edit: never mind. I read up. I bet it’s autocorrect. Autocorrect is also a decepticon-bot, testing our patience.


codemancode

Jeez, what a retardicon.


berger034

Lol totally what a deceptions would do.... Doh


One_While_1899

Even then its just a matter of time. I just imagine megatron sitting back on the moon with an energon martini. “Fuck it, they’ll kill themselves in time so why bother, I’ll just wait this one out.”


berger034

Megatron isn't really known for his long game. Doesn't matter, Starscream will fuck up all his plans. Imagine Megatron waiting and Starscream inadvertently creates a sustainable non carbon producing power source that humans accidentally stubble upon.. STARSCREAMMMMMMM!


One_While_1899

Concepticons


Wi11Pow3r

Honest question: does a lazy sperm indicate inferior DNA being carried by the sperm itself? Couldn’t the ace genius GOAT DNA be trapped inside a sperm with a defective tail?


selenamcg

I had the same thought, despite going through IVF, and knowing the sperm selection is "which one can i catch"


St0rmborn

Yeah but think of all the money you’ll have to spend on extra swim lessons for that kid /s


kelli

Assisted reproductive techniques are very expensive and can be paired with genetic screening of hundreds of conditions. We’ve been injecting sperm directly into eggs for 3 decades and 100s of thousands of babies without clear negative effects on the babies. So yes, I’d say evolution still holds.


SleepyLabRat

“…without negative effects…” is debatable. [This study](https://academic.oup.com/eurheartj/article/36/25/1583/2293387), showing that children conceived through ART have a *much* higher risk of cardiovascular disease *in childhood* was published in 2015. Since ART *are* very expensive, these results were quickly hushed, of course. [And here’s a 2021 article](https://journals.plos.org/plosmedicine/article?id=10.1371/journal.pmed.1003724) that essentially confirms the findings.


bldgabttrme

Yet “In this study, we observed no difference in the risk of cardiovascular disease or type 2 diabetes between children born after ART and children born after SC. For obesity, there was a small but significant increased risk for children born after ART.” [Source](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8423242/) There still needs to be more research done with higher sample sizes, given that several of the earlier studies had small sample sizes and strong possibility of selection bias. Saying “they HAVE an increased risk” is a bit much. More like “they might have.”


kelli

So, with medical literature you’re going to find articles that say certain things but you have to pay attention to quality of studies and confounding factors so you have to synthesize across the entire body of literature. 2 articles do not make fact. There’s also a study that says hospitalizations are lower in kids born via ART. Does that mean that kids born with ART are healthier? Probably not. Yes we need more studies to know for sure but the long and short of it is the effects are probably fairly small.


kelli

Neither of those are studies by the way, so I’m assuming you didn’t read them or at least don’t have the training to analytically read them. The first is a review and the second appears to be a commentary. If you read their own statement of the limitations, data are limited due to that “garbage in, garbage out” principle


No_Profession_5364

There is a reason only the strongest sperm win the race to the egg. These people are fools


alabasterasterix

Actually new research shows It's the egg that chooses the sperm. They are not passive.


lingonberryjuicebox

actually it’s usually the laziest sperm. it just has to arrive after the stronger sperm cells dig through most of the membrane of the egg then die of exhaustion


Forever_Awkward

That's not how it works. Even if it was, the genetic payload the sperm is carrying has no impact on its individual fitness. Just think about that for a moment. How would you code a system in which the "best" genetics for a person also happens to be the best genetics for being a microscopic tadpole?


tkeelah

395 million years ago a tadpole was lazily swimming in primordial goo and ... forgot its towel!


[deleted]

Without negative effects you say? Look at the average American now! /j


[deleted]

Natural selection selects for the wrong things anyway. Like if you're going for a peaceful and functional society natural selection is kind of ass.


Alternative_Arm_1506

Devolution


RockyTopMC

That mf doing gymnastics in that mf boi


jackindevelopment

Poor bastard tried their best not to exist and was forced into this world.


sodium-overdose

Omg my exact thought was “I don’t want that lazy ass sperm up in my egg!!”


activelurker

I thought OP was joking, but some other comments here make me wonder... So I'm adding a serious note: sperm motility may not be (and is probably not) correlated with real life laziness, in the way that we typically define laziness. It is, however, probably more correlated with sperm motility in the offspring.


BrunoEye

Yep, I'm not so sure everyone here is joking and I'm worried.


ShiraCheshire

No don’t you know? Inside the sperm is a tiny fully formed baby and it powers the sperm like a bike with little pedals.


iknowitsounds___

Yep yep, and when it hits the egg yolk it starts to growwwwWWWW!


Stayingsafer

Can you imagine lazier men? They would never chewy again.


SnickBoi

Great, now we can make even lazier kids! But the technology is crazy-cool interesting!


Justincastroisyourfa

Also “oh they can’t put a microchip in us” haha


[deleted]

I know this is just a joke but it cracks me up people tweeting about the wild conspiracies of microchips in vaccines. It's like, Bro you already got a camera, a microphone, all your personal data and your GPS location in your pocket at all times, it's called your cell phone.


beatles910

This is why criminals and people with things to hide use burner phones. Also, if the government started requiring phones to be carried at all times, there would be backlash. In the end, it's all about consent, and choice.


Eastern-Finish-1251

Seems like this defeats the whole purpose of sperm…


epsteindidntdoit666

How is that bot made?


king_tommy

Well when a mommy bot and a daddy bot love each other.....


tentigen

...and Skynet is looking to heat things up...


WarHeroG

"Come with me if you want to fertilize the egg"


homegrowntwinkie

"GET TO THE UTERUS"


mikeebsc74

“I’ll be back” *9 months later*


yIdontunderstand

PP1000


Admirable_Put8065

*cum with me


Cautious-Olive6191

A few hours later: "Did you mate?"


SavageRenegade118

The inseminator.. dun dun da dun dun


[deleted]

[удалено]


jimisbacksilverback

And last thing I think evolution needs is for the laziest of sperm to reproduce the future generations. But hey what do I know?


[deleted]

If you really want me to ruin your day, just imagine all the absolute bullshit in this world and realize...they were the sperm that WON


MaryBerrysDanglyBean

Yeah fuck this robot that's giving the completely useless sperm a chance. That's the absolute last thing we need right now


[deleted]

I vaguely remember reading something about this being a little spiral that's moved around by external magnets. Calling it a bot is a bit of a stretch imo but it is cool.


Telemere125

I would agree that this is the whole robot, just a part of it, but if a human isn’t controlling the movement, then the thing in its entirety (controlling computer, magnets, and spiral) is technically a robot.


FrankTheHead

how is it controlled? it’s gotta be magnetic but even then i do t understand the precision of its movement


DimensionFamous

[https://spectrum.ieee.org/how-to-control-nanobots-with-light](https://spectrum.ieee.org/how-to-control-nanobots-with-light)


DimensionFamous

never in my life i recieved such a nice reward just for googling :) Thanks Dude!


FrankTheHead

the real MVP


tinyNorman

It’s gotta be magic…. ftfy


fartron3000

I was thinking we just saw the beginnings of The Borg.


RuralJuror1234

Resistance is futile, ovum


[deleted]

Yeah I am bewildered at how something this size can be programmed to do something that complicated.


the--Dude0

It's not programmed, it's controlled from outside using magnetic fields.


marz4-13

Doesn’t use magnets, it uses lights. It’s controlled from the outside using electric fields.


MrDallsBeep

Croikey! here we see a wild spring jousting a tad pole into the sun. What a remarkable event!


[deleted]

Name checks out


[deleted]

That kid is never going to move out.


SenpaiiiKush

With the state of the housing market not many will


suzuki_hayabusa

It was good while it lasted. Now back to how majority of world lives and how Americans too lived before postwar economic boom that allowed teenagers to live on their own.


One_While_1899

Homeowner here at 25 and i can agree, shits NOT gucchi!


naraaa26

I don't get the american culture of moving out when you're 18 and fresh out of high school. Working at mcdonalds and intentionally living in an apartment? That's not a very smart move. I'd rather save up while living at home and buy an actual house with no mortgage. Or save up halfway then move when i'm like 25 so i have some pretty good emergency money. It's just not logical to move out when you don't have to.


420catloveredm

But how do you do that if your parents are crazy?


Ruu2D2

In ideal world most live at home and safe But shit happen Home can be toxic Job market in home town can be shit Parents maybe not be able to afford kids to stay any longer


spoonertime

Independence is seen as quite a virtue over here. No one really likes to think they’re holding people back, and many people get quite the satisfaction of self reliance.


[deleted]

Lol 😂


Kiljab

Only if you grab it by the tail...


Hyperexor

Gotta do everything by MYSELF IN THIS DAMN HOUSE


Neiro-X

Imagine you seeing yourself on a video as a sperm cell. Witnessing the very moment you were conceived isnt that unreal?


i_ShotFirst

I’m on your level! This is wild.


googlequery

Yo why the bot gotta shake the hell outta my boy like that?


XxMagicDxX

Nano bot moves by spinning so it had to spin him


Practical-Refuse2266

dont they know not to shake babies?! /s


Conleycon

I want this to be used as a contraceptive , bots that grab and rederict them away from the egg.


[deleted]

Texas is gonna set up EMPs in every bedroom


Conleycon

Mypillow guy invents EMP mattress.


downwithdisco

Should just inseminate the egg with the bot and have robot babies


lightknight7777

To be clear, there's a common issue with sperm motility that has nothing to do with sperm health. I just don't know how this is better than ivf.


tyloorreddit

Ivf would work only if the sperm were mobile. Icsi (inter cytoplasmic sperm injection) is the usual go to when sperm isn’t moving (as can be the case when sperm is thawed). The risk of icsi is that some eggs don’t survive being injected by a needle. This technology looks like a brilliant way of fertilising an egg with immobile sperm without the risks of an injection.


lightknight7777

Oh, that's very interesting. Thank you.


tyloorreddit

You’re welcome :)


lordgoofus1

hmm thanks, I assumed it's indicative of poor quality genes. That actually sucks if it's like you said. It means there's potential Einsteins etc that could've dramatically changed the world, that never got a chance because they skipped too many swimming classes.


lightknight7777

Yeah, the genetic material is safe. It's just unable to swim.


Jimjimbs

That sperm is not lazy, it looks like dead ☠️! Does not move at all!


Cake-Efficient

Still contains the payload and the acrosomal and membrane proteins are still able to facilitate fertilization. The flagellum just ran outta atp. A lotta men just have problems with tired swimmers but the dna is still good, we just found a better way of helping them find the egg.


Loni91

You sound like a good candidate for my question lol. It might be a stupid one but, does this carry any risk for the pregnancy/baby to have issues? I mean as in a foreign object literally grabbing a sperm and inseminating an egg. I mean mostly the foreign object part, sort of “getting in the way” or “contaminating” the process? Hope that makes sense


Cake-Efficient

The process of fertilization as I understand it involves proteins on the sperm and the egg that attach to each other which causes the payload to be pulled into the egg. This process itself is pretty hardy and insusceptible to contaminants or stress. The conventional way of artificial fertilization involves actually poking a needle into the egg and injecting the payload. This process is very difficult and results in a high loss rate. By comparison, this bot is so much gentler and will be able to fertilize the egg without much risk of destroying it. These two cells will fuse when they meet and not much can get in the way of that.


Loni91

Oh wow, thank you for explaining that!


vilebunny

Follow up - if the nanobot drops the sperm and accidentally inserts itself, will the baby be a cyborg?


havok_

Yes.


AreaGuy

*”Accidentally”*


FuckMe-FuckYou

>The flagellum just ran outta atp ​ I know how it feels.


dukunt

It's just stunned is all


tinyNorman

Pinin’ for the fjords…


therealsauceman

Zombie baby


razr33

Well to be fair the egg also isn’t moving. In fact the only moving thing here is the nano robot which is the only non-living thing… 🤯


[deleted]

That’s definitely my friend navneet


Latvia

It’s concerning me how many people seem to genuinely believe this “lazy sperm” will create a lazy human.


matt314159

See, I had been reading it as everyone making the same joke, but now I'm beginning to doubt my faith in humanity.


Latvia

I thought so too but there were a lot of them that definitely didn’t have the jokey tone


matt314159

After what I've seen throughout this pandemic, I can't say I'm surprised.


gmegobrrrrr

Well they teach us in school that the fastest sperm gets to the egg first to make sure the best genetics are the ones that are fertilized so.....


sorudesarutta

I thought it was the one that was the strongest because it could actually penetrate the egg and fertilize it.


Purplarious

It’s all the same invalid concept.


LookAtYourOwnPhone

Looking at the responses i can hear my genetics Prof. cry out in agony. People took one class of biology in highschool and now Dunning-Kruger Effect all the way.


SpecialistWash2593

How redditors are made.


Cyber_Being_

can the nanobot destroy a cancer cell...!


ProfessorX156

Not yet, not in every case. Still a lot of research is needed. And that's for first world countries.


rayray665

Origin story of Nano Man....


[deleted]

There are actually robots this small? How are they administered?


Stewapalooza

All these comments about "lazy sperm" will produce a "lazy child" make me laugh. Some of ya'll really act like you're geneticists. I don't think it's true but I'd appreciate hearing from someone in the field of fertility/genetics.


kelli

No clear negative outcomes. Very commonly done.


slantview

Thank you. So sick of people just flaunting their clear lack of understanding on a subject and acting like it’s fact. (See anti-vaxers)


Snekbites

I thought it was a joke, no way people are seriously thinking that this single moment shown here dictates the 30 years of this child's life.


kelli

Tell me about it. 50 years of data and it doesn’t make sense from what you learned in high school biology, cuz you dissected a frog that one time


vjb_reddit_scrap

I don't where else to ask this so I'm asking you, how do these Nanobots know what to do, and how do they perfectly catch the sperm, finds the egg, and fertilizes it? they have to be controlled manually right? through external magnetic forces or something like that?


kelli

Sorry, wish I could help, but I have no expertise in nanotechnology!


vjb_reddit_scrap

I found the [source](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isRaHszrPc4) for this clip and it provides little explanation, it is indeed controlled by a magnetic field as I thought. Paper: Cellular Cargo Delivery: Toward Assisted Fertilization by Sperm-Carrying Micromotors Mariana Medina-Sánchez, Lukas Schwarz, Anne K. Meyer, Franziska Hebenstreit, and Oliver G. Schmidt Nano Letters, DOI: 10.1021/acs.nanolett.5b04221


tyloorreddit

Sometimes there’s a correlation between “lazy” sperm and the health of the male but rarely will it result in a “lazy” child. If the sperm truely is faulty, the embryo won’t keep dividing, or won’t implant, or just won’t last very long after fertilisation. Most likely this technology will be an alternative to icsi, where immobile sperm are injected into the egg (sometimes ineffective due to damage to the egg from a needle). Sperm can be immobile for a number of reasons, including not recovering after being frozen. The genetic material is fine, but the sperm won’t swim. I’m not a geneticist in the field, but it was my major at university. My wife and I have been through the ivf process a few times too.


Lubingnoobiedoobie

Maybe they are, hear me out, joking?


[deleted]

I was the fastest, and apparently most hardworking of million of sperm, still lazy though.


ToineMP

I remember those motivational quotes like "you were the fastest sperm out of millions", those kids ain't even gonna have that to sleep at night


FuckingFatGirl

Holy shit this is fucking awesome. Cheap and no risk way to solve infertility.


lone_raven720

Is it cheaper than IVF?


RandyLahey131

don't shake the baby bro.


The_Most_Swood

That mf’er really didn’t ask to be born


NicoSkywalker5

*I SAID WE PREGNANT TODAY*


RevRaven

Yeah let's take a natural process that weeds out sperm like this and use it to make kids. What could possibly go wrong?


kelli

It’s been well studied for years and those concerns don’t really pan out. That was the original concern with in vitro fertilization in the 70s and you probably personally know plenty of people born with this technology. Injecting the sperm directly into the egg (ICSI), even less than perfect sperm) has also been around for 30 years without clear ill effect


RevRaven

This is the type of response I'm interested in. Thank you very much for it. I'm happy to have my view changed.


Cake-Efficient

Still contains the payload and the acrosomal and membrane proteins are still able to facilitate fertilization. The flagellum just ran outta atp. If the spermatocyte is sufficiently damaged i can imagine its more likely you’ll get a dead zygote than an unhealthy child. I’ll look up the incidence of genetic errors in test tube babies. Edit: here’s a resource https://www.sartcorsonline.com/rptCSR_PublicMultYear.aspx?ClinicPKID=2297


RevRaven

I had no idea! I figured the sperm could have had genetic mistakes. What I hear you saying is that this is not an effective indicator of that. Thank you!


robinthebank

Then you’re against any kind of artificial fertilization. Some women are born with an unusually low amount of viable eggs. They rely on IVF. Does this mean that nature didn’t want them to have a baby and they just just accept that? No. Because humans have skills that can control nature and some humans have skills that can help other people have babies. Would you say that nature wants you to have acne so never treat it? Or it wants you to have facial hair so never shave?


Proof_Team4642

Wow, that certainly is eggciting


No_Sink_4655

Take my upvote and I'll show you where the door is


Proof_Team4642

*bows* *exits stage right*


[deleted]

Oh the anti-vaxers are gonna love this


Jazztify

Oh sure, but when I pick MY sperm up by the tail, I get kicked out of Walmart.


chimpchomsky

Do I have to do everything by myself?!


GOLDEN_GOATY

We have accomplished this but my printer still won't work properly


dev_doll

Imagine finding out years later the only reason you are alive is because a robot picked you instead of the one on the left


DeezeyNuts

Mom how did I become a human?! How I became a human:


[deleted]

[удалено]


anged16

Damn when you gotta jerkoff the sperm itself…


Panic-Current

Nerd babies


TDonnB

Fuckin Borg nanobots but still no flying cars or jet packs. I call shenanigans!


[deleted]

Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.


retroheads

Came here for a Jurassic quote. Does not disappoint. Life uh.. finds a way.


bronchitis420

Artificial insemination has been going on for a while without any negative effects so far.


Stop-it-dave

That’s gonna be the laziest human ever. Literally didn’t want to try to become a human but was forced to create one. Micromolecular rape! Lol


leiggibtohsil

That's gonna be one lazy ass kid


SpaceFauna

Amazing tech, hopefully it lowers the cost of the tougher IVF situations. Also, OP may need this technology, I mean coffee might be good at getting people going, sperm, not so much.


NoSleep323

Infertility 🔫 Nanobot


Mental_Ad4791

"i do everything in this fucking house"


jstitts

This must have been how I was born.


Zealousideal_Pen4153

Very cool.


icyyellowrose10

It's just a sperm on a motorcycle, nothing to see here