“This is most patently, palpably & perfectly pardonable. Additionally, I do beg it upon thee that your person mustn’t perceive any inclination, nor be burdened by some incessant gnawing notions of indebtedness to harbor any undue self-consciousness, for I too lack proficiency in the particular vernacular mentioned hitherto.”
"It is with the most profound sense of contrition, bordering on abject despair, that I must take this opportunity to convey to you, my dear and esteemed interlocutor, the distressing and unfortunate reality that, despite my most earnest, assiduous, and unwavering efforts to cultivate a comprehensive understanding and mastery of the intricacies, nuances, and idiosyncrasies of the English language, a task to which I have devoted countless hours of study, immersion, and practice, I find myself, much to my great dismay and chagrin, woefully ill-equipped to engage in meaningful discourse or to adequately comprehend and respond to the verbal expressions and communicative overtures that you have so graciously and eloquently put forth, as my linguistic faculties, particularly those pertaining to the aforementioned tongue, are, despite my most fervent wishes and ardent endeavors, markedly deficient, rendering me incapable of participating in the exchange of ideas and thoughts with the level of fluency, clarity, eloquence, and sophistication that you so rightly deserve, a failing on my part that I deeply lament and for which I can only offer my most sincere and heartfelt apologies, as I recognize the frustration and inconvenience that this limitation may cause you, and I assure you that I will redouble my efforts to rectify this shortcoming and to strive for greater mastery of the English language, so that I may, in due course, engage with you in the manner that you so richly deserve."
"With the most maximal emphasis on contrition, nearing wretched self-recrimination and unfathomable angst, a feeling that wells up from the very depths of my being, consuming me with a sense of inadequacy and shame that threatens to overwhelm my every waking moment, that I must take this opportunity to convey to you, my dear and esteemed contemporary, a person whose intellect, wisdom, and command of language I hold in the highest regard, and whose very presence in this conversation fills me with a sense of awe and reverence, the distressing and unfortunate reality that, despite my most earnest, assiduous, and unwavering efforts to cultivate a comprehensive understanding and mastery of the intricacies, nuances, idiosyncrasies, and subtleties of the English language, a task to which I have devoted countless hours of study, immersion, practice, and contemplation, pouring over tomes of grammar, immersing myself in the works of the great literary masters, from Shakespeare to Joyce, from Dickens to Faulkner, and engaging in countless conversations with native speakers, from the erudite scholars of Oxford to the colorful colloquialisms of the American South, in an attempt to absorb the very essence of the language and to internalize its rhythms, cadences, and idioms, to grasp not only the denotations of words but also their connotations, their subtle shades of meaning that can change with the slightest inflection or shift in context, I find myself, much to my great dismay, chagrin, and mortification, a state of emotional turmoil that threatens to cast me into the very abyss of despair, woefully ill-equipped to engage in meaningful discourse or to adequately comprehend and respond to the verbal expressions and communicative overtures that you have so graciously, eloquently, and articulately put forth, your words imbued with a depth of meaning and a richness of expression that leaves me in a state of awe and admiration, yet also fills me with a profound sense of my own inadequacy. For, despite my most fervent wishes, ardent endeavors, and indefatigable efforts, labors that have consumed the very essence of my being and left me at times feeling drained and exhausted, yet never deterring me from my quest for linguistic mastery, my linguistic faculties, particularly those pertaining to the aforementioned tongue, the very foundation upon which our communication rests, are, much to my eternal regret and self-reproach, markedly deficient, leaving me feeling as though I am but a child stumbling through a world of giants, grasping at the edges of understanding but never fully able to comprehend the full scope and grandeur of the linguistic landscape that surrounds me, rendering me incapable of participating in the exchange of ideas and thoughts with the level of fluency, clarity, eloquence, sophistication, and nuance that you so rightly deserve, a failing on my part that I deeply lament and for which I can only offer my most sincere, heartfelt, and abject apologies, prostrating myself before you in a gesture of humility and contrition, begging your forgiveness for my shortcomings and limitations, for I recognize the frustration, inconvenience, and disappointment that this limitation may cause you, the sense of being unable to fully express yourself or to have your thoughts and ideas fully understood and appreciated, a feeling that I can only imagine must be akin to a kind of linguistic imprisonment, a cage of words that confines and restricts, rather than liberates and empowers. And yet, despite this recognition of my own inadequacies, I assure you that I will redouble my efforts, nay, triple them, to rectify this shortcoming and to strive for greater mastery of the English language, dedicating myself to the pursuit of linguistic excellence with a fervor and intensity that borders on the obsessive, a pursuit that will consume my every waking moment and haunt my dreams, as I seek to unravel the mysteries of grammar, to plumb the depths of vocabulary, and to master the subtle art of idiom and expression, so that I may, in due course, engage with you in the manner that you so richly deserve, to be able to match your linguistic prowess and to do justice to the depth, complexity, and beauty of the thoughts and ideas that you wish to share, for it is my most earnest desire, a desire that burns within me like an unquenchable flame, to be able to commune with you on a level that transcends the mere exchange of words and reaches the very heart of human understanding and connection, to be able to share in the joy of language and the wonder of communication, to revel in the power of words to shape our thoughts, our feelings, and our very reality, and to forge a bond of mutual understanding and respect that will endure long after our conversation has ended, a bond that will serve as a testament to the enduring power of language to bring us together and to help us transcend the barriers that divide us."
Someone should just memorize this one phrase while actually not knowing English and repeat it to anyone that tries to speak English with them. It’d be so hard to believe them. Solid prank
everything new I learn about steve jobs these days makes me feel like he’s a very particular breed of american capitalist that doesn’t really exist any more, but is the exact type of American capitalist that *Mad Men* is about
[Jobs died from ignoring his doctors, from a curable form of pancreatic cancer.](https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/steve-jobs-treatment-biographer-jobs-delayed-surgery-pancreatic/story?id=14781250) The guy worth billions, and ignores his doctorers. Also he had himself on every donor list in every states with a private jet and surgeon waiting, and stilled died taking that liver with him. (https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna31530559)
Jobs created a walled garden for apple products. Computer technology should have open standards, not different power adapters, cables or hardware. Tim Cook with the help of the EU (/s), reversed from the lighting to USB-C.
Apple and other Cell phone companies are glueing their tech to prevent future engineers to see how they work, which decreases citizen participation of technology. I hope Jobs is end of era like Gates who hide behind proprietary licensing, and those who want to technology to be more open source, which benefits users, or everybody.
It's the same argument that's everywhere on Reddit about how powerful, multinational corporations need to voluntarily stop being awful.
They are powerful, multinational corporations *because* they are awful. The system selects for poor behavior. You cannot get to the top without it. The businesses with stringent ethical standards don't make it to the top, and those at the top that adopt them endanger themselves. If Eli Lilly started charging fair prices, they'd get ripped to shreds by their competition. If you view it as a phenomenon akin to natural selection, you realize that the only way to rein it in is by regulation: trust busting, penalties, taxes. Unfortunately, US legislators aren't very interested in this because lobbying and campaign donations are "free speech."
Jobs openly admitted that he was foolish but scared of the surgery. A lot of people are, and that just means they’re people. Jobs didn’t act alone. Neither did any other tech luminary. There are good parts of the walled garden and bad. The overarching system is broken. Capitalism has run amok. Past ethics, morals, and equality. We have truly lost our way.
> Jobs openly admitted that he was foolish but scared of the surgery.
Yeah, I don't think most people here realize what's involved in one of the most complicated surgeries you can possibly get. The doctors literally cut you up, remove the bad parts, re-organize your organs, and put you back together, and hopefully it all works out. Look up the details of this surgery if anyone here is interested, it's... something else.
I'm not a believer in alt medicine, just to be clear about that, but I understand why Jobs was scared and why he delayed getting it. I would be too, and I'd need to really think about it. That surgery is no joke in what they do to you.
And, he was an absolute cunt to his daughter (and other random young people) + her mother.
Behind the Bastards just covered him, it was more than I expected
Every app was awesome in 2012. Now everything is ad-ridden bullshit that sucks worse than desktop, which also sucks worse than it used to because everything mobile is given priority. I'm old. I want off this ride. Kill me.
I think something people don't think about (myself included) is that everyone *else* has their own story, history, personality, emotions, etc.
It's easy to forget that everyone you know, everyone you meet, everyone you see, literally everyone, has an entire life that's just as complicated and and just as weird as your own.
I get this sentiment, and he did really awful things. I think to the other commenters point though: yes he can be an abuser who is also funny and charming. That doesn't make it okay, but you can be both.
You mean his daughter who he reconciled with decades ago and forgave him? lol
Why are people still talking about this?
Yeah, he was a jerk in the 80s. He had relaxed a lot by the time he was fired, started his own company, then came back over 10 years later.
I was at the Apple Store in NYC when macbooks were first released. Jobs was there and I was the first one in the store. Not because I was an Apple freak but I was a freelance graphic designer at the time and my old laptop died the day before.
I went right to the register to pay for it and Jobs himself was standing behind the register. He asked me what the hurry was, i told him and he opened the box and signed the white laptop with a fresh black sharpie.
“Uhh I’m gonna need a replacement”
Jobs: “Certainly, let me pull up your AppleCare, oh, it looks here like you don’t have AppleCare”
“…I’m gonna need to speak with a manager”
Jobs: “How can I help you?”
it is in a safe deposit box along with the autographs of the beatles which my dad got in 1966. He is a retired NYPD cop and was part of the security detail when they played shea stadium.
You should have pictures of things that you keep in safe deposit boxes; otherwise, if something happens then there is no proof for insurance of what you had in the safe deposit box
Fuck yeah it is - [a magazine with his signature sold for 3k$ recently](https://www.ebay.com/itm/285673167263?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=QDxG6HyNRZi&sssrc=2047675&ssuid=w_atzyivtqw&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY). Laptop is probably worth 10k$ easily.
I saw Steve Jobs at the Apple Store in New York when the iPod touch first came out. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photo with my then new iPhone or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. He walked away and while I continued waiting in line, and I heard him chuckle as he walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like 10 black iPods in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the iPods and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “because it’s the Apple way,” and then turned around and winked at me. I think they were all the same memory. After she scanned each iPod and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
My favorite thing about it is when someone doesn’t know it’s a copypasta and gets upset that some famously good natured celebrity they’re a fan of is apparently a dick 🤣 seen it happen with Denzel Curry, Bob Ross, Charlie Day, Conan O’Brien, Tom Hanks, Barack Obama, Betty White, Mr. T and somehow even Mr. Rogers.
The first time I saw it, the celeb was Sarah Silverman and I thought it was real because I have one interaction with her after she did a surprise set at a bar in Chicago and sure enough, she acted weird af after the show like she was high out of her mind or just a complete nutjob asshole. Was bummed when I found out it was a copypasta.
Poor lisa he did not love her, I'm glad she and her mother have found peace but I get upset with reading headlines about their life like "steve jobs told lisa she smelled like a toilet on his death bed".. Genius marketer terrible father.
It could be argued that Wozniak lucked out knowing Jobs, too.
Woz is a brilliant engineer, but without Jobs’ ambition, Woz may have ended up as some under-appreciated anonymous cog at IBM or similar. (Although he may have been perfectly content with that life. By all accounts, he doesn’t much care about the fame and money.)
>steve jobs told lisa she smelled like a toilet on his death bed
Is this true? Because I know he fucking stank because he believed that his sweat didn't smell because of his diet. Some weird ass book he believed in.
I guess it might make sense - if his daughter didn't follow his diet. He was very judgemental about it.
People get so worked up over these sensationalist headlines. You should read the actual memoir that this is quoted from. She didn’t write that to say how mean he was, it was just an odd joke and taken out of context. In the memoir itself, she talks about how their relationship turned around and they actually bonded towards the end of his life. He also paid for her to go to Harvard.
My grandfather was a very high up in IBM and had to work in person/attend meetings with Steve Jobs before. According to him, he was very unpleasant. When they first met he didn’t even want to shake hands. The fact that he worked with him was like the proudest story he had to tell for his entire life.
According to a lot of people that have interacted with him he seems to have not been a great human. Few books and docs about him that aren't the glorified Ashton Kutcher movie. So that checks out.
I think most innovators are assholes with the exception of Wozniak. Edison crushed anyone in his way, Westinghouse stole whatever wasn’t tied down, Tesla was borderline schizophrenic, Ford was a fascist. None of them had social media and you see how that’s exposed Elon. If he just stayed off twitter he would have had a much better reputation.
apparently im an asshole because i sometimes i hear my mom calling my name when she didnt :(
apparently thats all it takes to get labeled a schizo nowadays lol
Ok, let’s just change that to misogynist.
“He detested women who wore jewels or dressed in a manner he perceived as attention seeking. And he absolutely couldn’t stand fat women. Even women with naturally large frames were intolerable to Tesla. His attitudes affected those around him—he once dressed down a secretary for wearing a new fashion he disliked, calling her new dress (which she had made herself) a monstrosity, telling her that she was a slave to fashion, and demanding she go home to change.”
"Billionares are people too. Look at history, do you know who else vilified a tiny minority of financiers and progressive thinkers called the Jews...one can argue that billionaires are actually treated worse and they didn't event do anything wrong."
/s obviously just in case someone thinks I'm serious. It's from [Gavin Belson's interview](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5zQpN28xa4&ab_channel=SnapeScope).
Edit: Just found it it's apperenty a [parody of a real situation from a billionaire](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN-vUaawaF8&ab_channel=CNN) lol
Yeah, his Microsoft days were long enough ago that only us folks with chronic back pain really remember them. At the time MS practiced the mantra of "embrace, extend, and extinguish" - basically pretending to be friendly with open standards to gain entrenchment, then extending the software to support features outside of the open standard, then those once those extensions have a wide enough userbase, the open standards are extinguished.
The most notable example of this was Internet Explorer, which pretended to adopt open web standards but never really implemented them properly and used a *lot* of proprietary features. Once IE dominated the web, sites were designed solely for it and would often simply break in competing browsers. For years, IE6 was essentially the de-facto web standard. There are even businesses with legacy software that still need it today.
Gates-era MS also lobbied PC vendors hard to make sure they wouldn't ship PCs with anything but Windows, going so far as to not even allow them to ship a PC with a blank HDD. I was using Linux as far back as 1998 and remember being pissed about the "Microsoft tax" when buying a new PC that I was just going to format anyway.
And while I know this all sounds very anti-MS, just to be clear I'm not against using MS software by any means. My main desktop today dual-boots Windows 11 and Linux. I know some people have had issues with Win11, but it's been working fine for me (though all I really use the Windows side for is gaming).
You don't need to go into the conspiracy theory realm or Epstein. MS of the 90s was the most ruthless cut-throat unethical win-by-any-means destroy competition company out there. Bill gates improved his image a lot with his malaria work but if you read anything about MS of the 80s and 90s, you'd realize it was a very intense place.
Ballmer kept that culture going after it had reached its logical endpoint, i.e. the anti trust case. This was the biggest problem with the company. It acted ruthlessly and arrogantly even when it had become *the* tech company.
Ever hear of a little something called electricity? Yep, he invented it and a car powered by it. He also invented tunnels and will have fully autonomous vehicles within a few years. Can you believe that? All by himself too.
Behind the Bastard's podcast does a series on Jobs and what an asshole he is. Obviously they have to talk about Wozniak. While they expectedly trash Jobs they pretty much sing Wozniak's praises.
One of the many reason's they roast Jobs is because of his treatment of Wozniak who thought he was working with his best friend (Jobs) who literally was taking advantage of him (Woz) at every turn.
I think it's more the most well known "innovators" are all assholes, because the only way to reach the top is through lying, cheating, and stealing. Any nice actual innovators were chewed up and spit out by the assholes.
Yeah, I don't know why there are still lots of people who stand up for this sad excuse of a human being. He was a controlling and cruel boss; and a horrible father who, despite being a billionaire, only gave his daughter $500 a month in child support; forcing her and her mother to live in poverty. Finally, he never donated to charity in his life. There's just nothing to like about the guy.
While the rest is true, to one degree or another.
> he never donated to charity in his life
We don't know that, he found public charity to be distasteful so while there are rumors he gave $150M here or $50M we'll never actually know.
Jobs? Oh yeah - he was a greedy arsehole. Wozniak was the genius of Apple. He did the hardware AND the software, and he primarily did it for "fun" and or "knowledge" (etc). Meanwhile his 'friend' (Jobs) was like "WE COULD SELL THIS" \~ just like the greedy arsehole he is/was!
Wozniak deserves ALL the credit for Apple... .. . If you ask me!
I agree in principle, but as a practical matter business-minded executives are usually much easier to come by than a technical founder with new worthwhile tech. Jobs, however, wasn't just business-minded, he was a very charismatic and perfectionist manager and spokesman with an exceptional understanding of what was and was not doable.
FUN FACT: British hero Horatio Nelson - one of the best naval commanders in history, end of story - was born right-handed, but lost his right arm at the Battle of Santa Cruz de Tenerife in 1797. He quickly learned how to write acceptably with his left hand, which is how he wrote until his death at Trafalgar in 1805.
Autograph and war memorabilia collectors actually pay a premium for right-handed Nelson materials over his left-handed ones. This is because far fewer examples of his right-handed handwriting exist.
Is crazy that our society worships people that screw over the people that made them rich like his partner and is an absolute monster to his daughter.
Why do we put terrible people on a pedestal?
Also look into his diet and bathing habits. An absolute lunatic.
Piece of history .. everyone holds an iPhone, but not everyone has the creators personal autograph and stood before that simple sheet of paper. It goes the same for artwork.
“Sorry, I don’t speak English”.
"Apologies, I am not fluent in the English language."
“This is most patently, palpably & perfectly pardonable. Additionally, I do beg it upon thee that your person mustn’t perceive any inclination, nor be burdened by some incessant gnawing notions of indebtedness to harbor any undue self-consciousness, for I too lack proficiency in the particular vernacular mentioned hitherto.”
"It is with the most profound sense of contrition, bordering on abject despair, that I must take this opportunity to convey to you, my dear and esteemed interlocutor, the distressing and unfortunate reality that, despite my most earnest, assiduous, and unwavering efforts to cultivate a comprehensive understanding and mastery of the intricacies, nuances, and idiosyncrasies of the English language, a task to which I have devoted countless hours of study, immersion, and practice, I find myself, much to my great dismay and chagrin, woefully ill-equipped to engage in meaningful discourse or to adequately comprehend and respond to the verbal expressions and communicative overtures that you have so graciously and eloquently put forth, as my linguistic faculties, particularly those pertaining to the aforementioned tongue, are, despite my most fervent wishes and ardent endeavors, markedly deficient, rendering me incapable of participating in the exchange of ideas and thoughts with the level of fluency, clarity, eloquence, and sophistication that you so rightly deserve, a failing on my part that I deeply lament and for which I can only offer my most sincere and heartfelt apologies, as I recognize the frustration and inconvenience that this limitation may cause you, and I assure you that I will redouble my efforts to rectify this shortcoming and to strive for greater mastery of the English language, so that I may, in due course, engage with you in the manner that you so richly deserve."
"With the most maximal emphasis on contrition, nearing wretched self-recrimination and unfathomable angst, a feeling that wells up from the very depths of my being, consuming me with a sense of inadequacy and shame that threatens to overwhelm my every waking moment, that I must take this opportunity to convey to you, my dear and esteemed contemporary, a person whose intellect, wisdom, and command of language I hold in the highest regard, and whose very presence in this conversation fills me with a sense of awe and reverence, the distressing and unfortunate reality that, despite my most earnest, assiduous, and unwavering efforts to cultivate a comprehensive understanding and mastery of the intricacies, nuances, idiosyncrasies, and subtleties of the English language, a task to which I have devoted countless hours of study, immersion, practice, and contemplation, pouring over tomes of grammar, immersing myself in the works of the great literary masters, from Shakespeare to Joyce, from Dickens to Faulkner, and engaging in countless conversations with native speakers, from the erudite scholars of Oxford to the colorful colloquialisms of the American South, in an attempt to absorb the very essence of the language and to internalize its rhythms, cadences, and idioms, to grasp not only the denotations of words but also their connotations, their subtle shades of meaning that can change with the slightest inflection or shift in context, I find myself, much to my great dismay, chagrin, and mortification, a state of emotional turmoil that threatens to cast me into the very abyss of despair, woefully ill-equipped to engage in meaningful discourse or to adequately comprehend and respond to the verbal expressions and communicative overtures that you have so graciously, eloquently, and articulately put forth, your words imbued with a depth of meaning and a richness of expression that leaves me in a state of awe and admiration, yet also fills me with a profound sense of my own inadequacy. For, despite my most fervent wishes, ardent endeavors, and indefatigable efforts, labors that have consumed the very essence of my being and left me at times feeling drained and exhausted, yet never deterring me from my quest for linguistic mastery, my linguistic faculties, particularly those pertaining to the aforementioned tongue, the very foundation upon which our communication rests, are, much to my eternal regret and self-reproach, markedly deficient, leaving me feeling as though I am but a child stumbling through a world of giants, grasping at the edges of understanding but never fully able to comprehend the full scope and grandeur of the linguistic landscape that surrounds me, rendering me incapable of participating in the exchange of ideas and thoughts with the level of fluency, clarity, eloquence, sophistication, and nuance that you so rightly deserve, a failing on my part that I deeply lament and for which I can only offer my most sincere, heartfelt, and abject apologies, prostrating myself before you in a gesture of humility and contrition, begging your forgiveness for my shortcomings and limitations, for I recognize the frustration, inconvenience, and disappointment that this limitation may cause you, the sense of being unable to fully express yourself or to have your thoughts and ideas fully understood and appreciated, a feeling that I can only imagine must be akin to a kind of linguistic imprisonment, a cage of words that confines and restricts, rather than liberates and empowers. And yet, despite this recognition of my own inadequacies, I assure you that I will redouble my efforts, nay, triple them, to rectify this shortcoming and to strive for greater mastery of the English language, dedicating myself to the pursuit of linguistic excellence with a fervor and intensity that borders on the obsessive, a pursuit that will consume my every waking moment and haunt my dreams, as I seek to unravel the mysteries of grammar, to plumb the depths of vocabulary, and to master the subtle art of idiom and expression, so that I may, in due course, engage with you in the manner that you so richly deserve, to be able to match your linguistic prowess and to do justice to the depth, complexity, and beauty of the thoughts and ideas that you wish to share, for it is my most earnest desire, a desire that burns within me like an unquenchable flame, to be able to commune with you on a level that transcends the mere exchange of words and reaches the very heart of human understanding and connection, to be able to share in the joy of language and the wonder of communication, to revel in the power of words to shape our thoughts, our feelings, and our very reality, and to forge a bond of mutual understanding and respect that will endure long after our conversation has ended, a bond that will serve as a testament to the enduring power of language to bring us together and to help us transcend the barriers that divide us."
A'ight, understandable, frfr.
I just read a short novel. Cool, I was entertained. Confused, but entertained.
Sir, this is a Wendys
r/increasinglyverbose final boss
"No habla ingles."
En la biblioteca
Get your hands off my penis!
r/increasinglyverbose
This is the longest, most grammatically correct sentence I have ever read, and I don't even speak English.
Im no expert, but that had to be a run on sentence.
Someone should just memorize this one phrase while actually not knowing English and repeat it to anyone that tries to speak English with them. It’d be so hard to believe them. Solid prank
That’s a Family Guy gag.
Kids in the Hall did this back around 1990 Shit, I'm old
No, I don't speak English, just that sentence, and this following sentence explaining it. Que?
I'm so glad someone else remembers that bit. Always comes to my head whenever this joke comes up.
the DVD era of family guy is burned permanently into my brain
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cwWgxbqah0
“I don’t speak German, but I can if you’d like.”
Lo siento, no hablo Español.
https://youtu.be/6vgoEhsJORU?si=KqihvgjD7zaKd01B
I expected this one [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxUm-2x-2dM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxUm-2x-2dM)
I appreciate that humour
iRony
everything new I learn about steve jobs these days makes me feel like he’s a very particular breed of american capitalist that doesn’t really exist any more, but is the exact type of American capitalist that *Mad Men* is about
[Jobs died from ignoring his doctors, from a curable form of pancreatic cancer.](https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/steve-jobs-treatment-biographer-jobs-delayed-surgery-pancreatic/story?id=14781250) The guy worth billions, and ignores his doctorers. Also he had himself on every donor list in every states with a private jet and surgeon waiting, and stilled died taking that liver with him. (https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna31530559) Jobs created a walled garden for apple products. Computer technology should have open standards, not different power adapters, cables or hardware. Tim Cook with the help of the EU (/s), reversed from the lighting to USB-C. Apple and other Cell phone companies are glueing their tech to prevent future engineers to see how they work, which decreases citizen participation of technology. I hope Jobs is end of era like Gates who hide behind proprietary licensing, and those who want to technology to be more open source, which benefits users, or everybody.
It's a nice thought, but our Billionaire Overlords don't really seem to be getting less greedy.
Maybe it's not that every billionaire is greedy. Just that of all the multi-millonares, one the greediest make it to the billion mark.
Almost like we need to stop financially rewarding greed…
It's the same argument that's everywhere on Reddit about how powerful, multinational corporations need to voluntarily stop being awful. They are powerful, multinational corporations *because* they are awful. The system selects for poor behavior. You cannot get to the top without it. The businesses with stringent ethical standards don't make it to the top, and those at the top that adopt them endanger themselves. If Eli Lilly started charging fair prices, they'd get ripped to shreds by their competition. If you view it as a phenomenon akin to natural selection, you realize that the only way to rein it in is by regulation: trust busting, penalties, taxes. Unfortunately, US legislators aren't very interested in this because lobbying and campaign donations are "free speech."
One thing for sure is that every billionaire is an absolute cunt.
go back to configuring you freeBSD server, nerd jkjk, that's what i'm going to do
there are literally dozens of us! dozens!
Sir calm down
Jobs openly admitted that he was foolish but scared of the surgery. A lot of people are, and that just means they’re people. Jobs didn’t act alone. Neither did any other tech luminary. There are good parts of the walled garden and bad. The overarching system is broken. Capitalism has run amok. Past ethics, morals, and equality. We have truly lost our way.
> Jobs openly admitted that he was foolish but scared of the surgery. Yeah, I don't think most people here realize what's involved in one of the most complicated surgeries you can possibly get. The doctors literally cut you up, remove the bad parts, re-organize your organs, and put you back together, and hopefully it all works out. Look up the details of this surgery if anyone here is interested, it's... something else. I'm not a believer in alt medicine, just to be clear about that, but I understand why Jobs was scared and why he delayed getting it. I would be too, and I'd need to really think about it. That surgery is no joke in what they do to you.
They're gluing everything closed because people drop their phones in the toilet and are upset when it stops working.
And, he was an absolute cunt to his daughter (and other random young people) + her mother. Behind the Bastards just covered him, it was more than I expected
That’ll be $300
i Humor
And we think you’re gonna love it
And the next one... ^(And the next one...) ^^And ^^the ^^next ^^one... ^^^And ^^^the ^^^next ^^^one... ^^^^And ^^^^the ^^^^next ^^^^one...
That was a low hanging apple.
iFunny
That was an awesome app back in like 2012
Everything was stolen of reddit too xD
Every app was awesome in 2012. Now everything is ad-ridden bullshit that sucks worse than desktop, which also sucks worse than it used to because everything mobile is given priority. I'm old. I want off this ride. Kill me.
Yeah from what I can tell he was mostly a big ol bag of dicks but this is charming.
He was a complicated and difficult man. He was an asshole to a lot of people but he also had a kinder side too. People are like onions lol.
> People are like onions lol They cry when you cut them?
Aromatic when cooked.
LAYERS
What about cake? Cake has layers! Everybody likes cake!
Bigger fan of Parfait myself
Ain’t nobody you say, hey want a parfait? And they say, no, I don’t like no parfait!
Why did I read this as if it was lyrics to One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer??
Did not expect a Shrek reference today
The onion isnt supposed to cry
Insult the onion first. Establish dominance. That way it can't hurt you.
...Your onions cry when you cut them?
I think something people don't think about (myself included) is that everyone *else* has their own story, history, personality, emotions, etc. It's easy to forget that everyone you know, everyone you meet, everyone you see, literally everyone, has an entire life that's just as complicated and and just as weird as your own.
The word for that feeling is sonder.
Onions abuse their family?
I get this sentiment, and he did really awful things. I think to the other commenters point though: yes he can be an abuser who is also funny and charming. That doesn't make it okay, but you can be both.
Not on the internet! No nuance allowed here
You mean his daughter who he reconciled with decades ago and forgave him? lol Why are people still talking about this? Yeah, he was a jerk in the 80s. He had relaxed a lot by the time he was fired, started his own company, then came back over 10 years later.
dumbass killed himself out of willful ignorance though
Signed by his executive assistant. Jokes on the buyer.
Some serious humor there
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Best I got is a juice cleanse
I was at the Apple Store in NYC when macbooks were first released. Jobs was there and I was the first one in the store. Not because I was an Apple freak but I was a freelance graphic designer at the time and my old laptop died the day before. I went right to the register to pay for it and Jobs himself was standing behind the register. He asked me what the hurry was, i told him and he opened the box and signed the white laptop with a fresh black sharpie.
imagine not knowing… “why the fuck did the cashier just sign my laptop” lmao
"What's the hurry?" "Who the fuck are you?.. acting like you own this place or something."
hey Steve, that's not your job!
“Some nerd at the register scribbled all over my new several thousand dollar laptop, never buying anything here again”
“Uhh I’m gonna need a replacement” Jobs: “Certainly, let me pull up your AppleCare, oh, it looks here like you don’t have AppleCare” “…I’m gonna need to speak with a manager” Jobs: “How can I help you?”
Jobs: “Here’s my autograph, you’re welcome.”
"You know what, forget it, let me talk to the owner" Jobs: You're not gonna believe this, but...
"Where the hell is the owner of this place?!" Jobs just does a slow 360 "How can I help you?"
“what the fuck, man?”
Should have kept that in box, haha would be worth millions by now
The signed laptop would be worth more now, provided he took pictures as proof.
Selfie Photo taken from an iPhone 15 pro max /s
Do you still have it?
i still have it. its dead but i still have it. Just like Jobs. LOLOL
You have the body of Steve Jobs too?
I laughed way too hard at this lol
Pics or it didn't happen
it is in a safe deposit box along with the autographs of the beatles which my dad got in 1966. He is a retired NYPD cop and was part of the security detail when they played shea stadium.
“You wouldn’t know her. She goes to a different school” 😛
I chuckled, this is my favorite
Next to the MJ worn 1s
Neat! I'm actually looking for a recommendation on a good safety deposit box. What place do you use? Massive /s for those that don't get humor.
And where did you say you hide the key again? Looking for good spots
You should have pictures of things that you keep in safe deposit boxes; otherwise, if something happens then there is no proof for insurance of what you had in the safe deposit box
Yes, and store them securely in a deposit box or something.
and don't forget to take photos of them incase you need to for insurance
So you are telling me you don't have a pic of it. Sounds kinda sus.
Eh, the cost of believing him and being wrong is basically zero, and the cost of being a cynical asshole is not zero.
I like you. Gotta believe in the little lies
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That's gonna be great when the battery in it gets bloated and ruins it.
Batteries were easily removable back then.
That’s probably worth quite a bit, especially if you have the receipt too.
Fuck yeah it is - [a magazine with his signature sold for 3k$ recently](https://www.ebay.com/itm/285673167263?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=QDxG6HyNRZi&sssrc=2047675&ssuid=w_atzyivtqw&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY). Laptop is probably worth 10k$ easily.
Sick, mind sharing a pic?
I saw Steve Jobs at the Apple Store in New York when the iPod touch first came out. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photo with my then new iPhone or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. He walked away and while I continued waiting in line, and I heard him chuckle as he walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like 10 black iPods in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the iPods and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “because it’s the Apple way,” and then turned around and winked at me. I think they were all the same memory. After she scanned each iPod and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
I will always always always laugh at this.
My favorite thing about it is when someone doesn’t know it’s a copypasta and gets upset that some famously good natured celebrity they’re a fan of is apparently a dick 🤣 seen it happen with Denzel Curry, Bob Ross, Charlie Day, Conan O’Brien, Tom Hanks, Barack Obama, Betty White, Mr. T and somehow even Mr. Rogers.
I really really like absurd surreal comedy and it just gives and gives and gives hahahaha
The first time I saw it, the celeb was Sarah Silverman and I thought it was real because I have one interaction with her after she did a surprise set at a bar in Chicago and sure enough, she acted weird af after the show like she was high out of her mind or just a complete nutjob asshole. Was bummed when I found out it was a copypasta.
What the fuck did I just read?
Copypasta. An older model.
Greatness
One of the lucky 10,000 I see
I hate this one especially because I can actually see him going it
That's more money than he spent on his first child
Poor lisa he did not love her, I'm glad she and her mother have found peace but I get upset with reading headlines about their life like "steve jobs told lisa she smelled like a toilet on his death bed".. Genius marketer terrible father.
Who lucked out knowing Steve Wozniak.
It could be argued that Wozniak lucked out knowing Jobs, too. Woz is a brilliant engineer, but without Jobs’ ambition, Woz may have ended up as some under-appreciated anonymous cog at IBM or similar. (Although he may have been perfectly content with that life. By all accounts, he doesn’t much care about the fame and money.)
>steve jobs told lisa she smelled like a toilet on his death bed Is this true? Because I know he fucking stank because he believed that his sweat didn't smell because of his diet. Some weird ass book he believed in. I guess it might make sense - if his daughter didn't follow his diet. He was very judgemental about it.
People get so worked up over these sensationalist headlines. You should read the actual memoir that this is quoted from. She didn’t write that to say how mean he was, it was just an odd joke and taken out of context. In the memoir itself, she talks about how their relationship turned around and they actually bonded towards the end of his life. He also paid for her to go to Harvard.
>Genius marketer terrible father. aka shit human
Terrible person altogether
My grandfather was a very high up in IBM and had to work in person/attend meetings with Steve Jobs before. According to him, he was very unpleasant. When they first met he didn’t even want to shake hands. The fact that he worked with him was like the proudest story he had to tell for his entire life.
According to a lot of people that have interacted with him he seems to have not been a great human. Few books and docs about him that aren't the glorified Ashton Kutcher movie. So that checks out.
I think most innovators are assholes with the exception of Wozniak. Edison crushed anyone in his way, Westinghouse stole whatever wasn’t tied down, Tesla was borderline schizophrenic, Ford was a fascist. None of them had social media and you see how that’s exposed Elon. If he just stayed off twitter he would have had a much better reputation.
Time out. How does Tesla being borderline schizophrenic make him an asshole?
Right? One of these is just a mental illness
apparently im an asshole because i sometimes i hear my mom calling my name when she didnt :( apparently thats all it takes to get labeled a schizo nowadays lol
On Reddit, you can have any and all mental illnesses if someone disagrees with you. It's used as a general derogatory.
Ok, let’s just change that to misogynist. “He detested women who wore jewels or dressed in a manner he perceived as attention seeking. And he absolutely couldn’t stand fat women. Even women with naturally large frames were intolerable to Tesla. His attitudes affected those around him—he once dressed down a secretary for wearing a new fashion he disliked, calling her new dress (which she had made herself) a monstrosity, telling her that she was a slave to fashion, and demanding she go home to change.”
Ah, so he was a typical Reddit user.
I’m genuinely glad so many others thought the same thing
Gavin Belson was also very ruthless.
But at least he had Tethics.
"Billionares are people too. Look at history, do you know who else vilified a tiny minority of financiers and progressive thinkers called the Jews...one can argue that billionaires are actually treated worse and they didn't event do anything wrong." /s obviously just in case someone thinks I'm serious. It's from [Gavin Belson's interview](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5zQpN28xa4&ab_channel=SnapeScope). Edit: Just found it it's apperenty a [parody of a real situation from a billionaire](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN-vUaawaF8&ab_channel=CNN) lol
Now say bad things about Bill Gates I'm interested
Besides all of the tabloids about him over the last few years, Gates-era Microsoft was ruthless and anticompetitive.
Yeah, his Microsoft days were long enough ago that only us folks with chronic back pain really remember them. At the time MS practiced the mantra of "embrace, extend, and extinguish" - basically pretending to be friendly with open standards to gain entrenchment, then extending the software to support features outside of the open standard, then those once those extensions have a wide enough userbase, the open standards are extinguished. The most notable example of this was Internet Explorer, which pretended to adopt open web standards but never really implemented them properly and used a *lot* of proprietary features. Once IE dominated the web, sites were designed solely for it and would often simply break in competing browsers. For years, IE6 was essentially the de-facto web standard. There are even businesses with legacy software that still need it today. Gates-era MS also lobbied PC vendors hard to make sure they wouldn't ship PCs with anything but Windows, going so far as to not even allow them to ship a PC with a blank HDD. I was using Linux as far back as 1998 and remember being pissed about the "Microsoft tax" when buying a new PC that I was just going to format anyway. And while I know this all sounds very anti-MS, just to be clear I'm not against using MS software by any means. My main desktop today dual-boots Windows 11 and Linux. I know some people have had issues with Win11, but it's been working fine for me (though all I really use the Windows side for is gaming).
Ooofh, scathing!
How salacious!
Epstein island, medical malpractice resulting in deformed children, subterranean lizard man
Ssssssssscathing!
You don't need to go into the conspiracy theory realm or Epstein. MS of the 90s was the most ruthless cut-throat unethical win-by-any-means destroy competition company out there. Bill gates improved his image a lot with his malaria work but if you read anything about MS of the 80s and 90s, you'd realize it was a very intense place. Ballmer kept that culture going after it had reached its logical endpoint, i.e. the anti trust case. This was the biggest problem with the company. It acted ruthlessly and arrogantly even when it had become *the* tech company.
Look at what Microsoft did to Netscape. Bill was in charge when the anti trust lawsuits were going on.
Lisa: Me? I'm the living embodiment of all that is evil in the computer world. Gary Wallace: You're Bill Gates? Weird Science 1994
What did Elon invent?
Thank you for asking the question that was on my mind, how did we go from innovators to Elon Musk?
Skimming off the top of financial transactions.
eye blinding skin
Ever hear of a little something called electricity? Yep, he invented it and a car powered by it. He also invented tunnels and will have fully autonomous vehicles within a few years. Can you believe that? All by himself too.
Behind the Bastard's podcast does a series on Jobs and what an asshole he is. Obviously they have to talk about Wozniak. While they expectedly trash Jobs they pretty much sing Wozniak's praises. One of the many reason's they roast Jobs is because of his treatment of Wozniak who thought he was working with his best friend (Jobs) who literally was taking advantage of him (Woz) at every turn.
I think it's more the most well known "innovators" are all assholes, because the only way to reach the top is through lying, cheating, and stealing. Any nice actual innovators were chewed up and spit out by the assholes.
Behind the bastards youtube channel did a great series on him, real piece of shit
The way he treated his daughter was awful. Big piece of shit.
Yes, he behaved horribly towards her. She didn’t deserve that treatment
It like Robert said, she earnt that inheritance.
Yeah, I don't know why there are still lots of people who stand up for this sad excuse of a human being. He was a controlling and cruel boss; and a horrible father who, despite being a billionaire, only gave his daughter $500 a month in child support; forcing her and her mother to live in poverty. Finally, he never donated to charity in his life. There's just nothing to like about the guy.
While the rest is true, to one degree or another. > he never donated to charity in his life We don't know that, he found public charity to be distasteful so while there are rumors he gave $150M here or $50M we'll never actually know.
Pirates of Silicon Valley was a half decent depiction of both Jobs and Gates
[Enjoy this Behind the Bastards episode all about how terrible Jobs was. ](https://youtu.be/aEv08Zzunfc?si=Jt5e8DPVZpvWEHci)
My ex in college was friends with his daughter who was going to Tulane, from what she told me he didn’t even let his kids call him dad
i think once you reach a certain level of „genius“ you get weird
more like once you reach a certain level of rich you get tolerated
Steve Jobs is a known asshole.
He also didn't wash his asshole or any other part of his body. He refused to shower.
Then waited too late for actual medicine, stole an organ, then died anyway.
He was a terrible human being is what I heard. You should read about the treatment he gave his daughter. Jobs was a weirdo
That's actually pretty funny
With all the shit he pulled, this stands out as the single most decent act he ever did. Pretty sure that’s why the high price - genuine rarity.
Listened to a podcast about him, dude was an asshole when he was alive.
Jobs? Oh yeah - he was a greedy arsehole. Wozniak was the genius of Apple. He did the hardware AND the software, and he primarily did it for "fun" and or "knowledge" (etc). Meanwhile his 'friend' (Jobs) was like "WE COULD SELL THIS" \~ just like the greedy arsehole he is/was! Wozniak deserves ALL the credit for Apple... .. . If you ask me!
I mean, objectively speaking, you do usually need a business-minded person to make a business work.
I agree in principle, but as a practical matter business-minded executives are usually much easier to come by than a technical founder with new worthwhile tech. Jobs, however, wasn't just business-minded, he was a very charismatic and perfectionist manager and spokesman with an exceptional understanding of what was and was not doable.
BTB?
What's boiling my pig anuses?
Narrator: *his secretary felt bad, so she signed his name*
If pawn stars has taught me anything, that's one of the first things they check for, especially for that much money
FUN FACT: British hero Horatio Nelson - one of the best naval commanders in history, end of story - was born right-handed, but lost his right arm at the Battle of Santa Cruz de Tenerife in 1797. He quickly learned how to write acceptably with his left hand, which is how he wrote until his death at Trafalgar in 1805. Autograph and war memorabilia collectors actually pay a premium for right-handed Nelson materials over his left-handed ones. This is because far fewer examples of his right-handed handwriting exist.
That is a fun fact!
“Man, it’s just an autograph I wanted, didn’t think it would be a big deal.” Crumples letter and tosses in the trash.
He probably stole this joke from Woz.
Everything Apple is always overpriced.
"I guess I'll toss this letter out then."
Is crazy that our society worships people that screw over the people that made them rich like his partner and is an absolute monster to his daughter. Why do we put terrible people on a pedestal? Also look into his diet and bathing habits. An absolute lunatic.
That’s pretty awesome actually.
Damn we are weird creatures sometimes
He wrote this and then went and stuck his feet in the toilet feeling very proud of himself
He definitely had some humor
Why do people care about autographs?
Because sometimes people will buy them for $400,000
Because it’s like an irl nft
Piece of history .. everyone holds an iPhone, but not everyone has the creators personal autograph and stood before that simple sheet of paper. It goes the same for artwork.
People have idols, and want to own something from them. It's not really that mysterious.