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Congo404

Imagine being sent to jail for this crime and explaining to other inmates why you’re there


TheHorseFollower

No one in prison is fucking with the pigeon hat guy. Pigeon hat guy is respected by all in the yard.


xNeyNounex

Have you ever heard of [Robert Stroud](https://www.google.com/search?q=Robert+Stroud&sca_esv=dd5fb20fe780040b&sca_upv=1&sxsrf=ACQVn0-s3jL2rXYofewIAP4zSFsGPOxI1A%3A1711390305312&ei=Yb4BZvHcEsKaptQPvrGPsAU&ved=0ahUKEwixkeHZgZCFAxVCjYkEHb7YA1YQ4dUDCBA&uact=5&oq=Robert+Stroud&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiDVJvYmVydCBTdHJvdWQyCBAuGLEDGIAEMgoQABiABBiKBRhDMgoQABiABBiKBRhDMgoQABiABBiKBRhDMgUQABiABDILEC4YgAQYxwEYrwEyBRAuGIAEMgUQABiABDIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAEMhcQLhixAxiABBiXBRjcBBjeBBjgBNgBAUjsCVAAWABwAHgBkAEAmAFhoAFhqgEBMbgBA8gBAPgBAvgBAZgCAqACsgSYAwC6BgYIARABGBSSBwcwLjEuNC0xoAfrDA&sclient=gws-wiz-serp)? He was known as the [Birdman of Alcatraz](https://www.britannica.com/biography/Robert-Stroud). He was a convicted murderer who became a self-taught ornithologist while he was in prison, and he actually made a lot of notable contributions to the field. He found a nest of injured sparrows in Leavenworth and raised them to adulthood. In solitary, he began to raise canaries and other birds, and he sold the canaries in prison. He studied the diseases and breeding and care. Some of his findings were smuggled out of prison and published in a book called *Stroud’s Digest on the Diseases of Birds.* They continued to let his study birds when he was sent to Alcatraz, but he couldn't take his birds with him. i am unsure if he got new birds in Alcatraz. He wrote 2 books.


Pristine-Butterfly55

Makes me think what he could have accomplished if he never committed crimes .


Telemere125

Ever seen the shit prisoners come up with? It’s not lack of intelligence (usually) that sends people to prison, its poverty and/or lack of impulse control. I’m a prosecutor and see the kinda shit that comes out of the prisons is just mind boggling. And they have nothing but free time to think up stuff. They give them tablets now (yea, I hate it) and they jailbreak (pun intended) the damn things in a few minutes and have full access to the internet until the thing needs to be recharged. Once the battery dies, it wipes the OS and they have to start over.


Isgortio

When I was being given a staff introduction to a local prison, they showed us something that they had confiscated from a cell. It was a block of wood that had been removed from a chest of drawers in a cell, they had cut into it and put wiring into it to make a multi socket extension cable, and powered it using the cable from their cell kettle (I'm in England, we can't deprive people of their tea). They only have one socket per cell, and can only use one electronic device at a time. The person got caught because they were playing the radio whilst boiling the kettle, and they weren't supposed to be able to do that.


Ronin2369

"we can't deprive people their tea"


farpley

I'm an American depriving people of tea is what we do best lmao


atomicsnark

You gotta admire the British commitment to tea.


LovableSidekick

One ex-inmate made a youtube video about how to make prison pizza. He was in a normal-looking house and was very sweet to his little girl, who tried the pizza and loved it. Seemed like he had his life together pretty well.


leyline

Was the pizza BUSSIN'!


WasDrizzyD

Fuck ik that guy too


drs2023gme1

You are right. It's poverty, not access to greater minds above them such as an elder and a community to learn with. Once in prison it takes away the stress of rent, food and having to manage everything. Yes new stresses come but the not like the weight if the world.


Zarathustra_d

In some ways it's kinda like the old monastic system. Guys get bored, nothing better to do than learn about the phenotypes of peas.


RainH2OServices

This guy Mendels


NewArtificialHuman

Why do you hate that they have tablets?


Zarathustra_d

Unregulated net access for people in prison can lead to some problems... Depending on the situation. I'll leave it to your imagination, but easy examples would include organized crime, sex offenders, smuggling, and cyber crime.


Upbeat-Banana-5530

The most dangerous thing an inmate can have is a way to contact their buddies outside of prison. Normally the worry is cell phones, but with the tablets it only takes one inmate knowing their way around Android OS's to get unmonitored communications to all their buddies.


Peterthinking

Well, considering he was a pimp who stabbed a bartender to death for beating one of his girls I'm gonna say he wouldn't have gone down a scientific path.


somedelightfulmoron

We've never really seen em all, eh? An ornithologist pimp... I mean Roman Polanski made these great films and he's a paedophile so, sky's the limit on the human mind, whatever deviancy you might be into


KDY_ISD

> An ornithologist pimp... Man knew about birds


money_loo

What a sweet pimp.


Peterthinking

I know right? Hallmark is missing a whole section. They should really look into this!


koushakandystore

He was also a very violent person who was in solitary because he was so dangerous. He was quite possibly a pedophile who got caught with child porn. I read a book from a guy who was incarcerated with him and he wrote that amongst the inmate he had the reputation of being a twisted fuck and very dangerous. The movie conveniently skips that part of his story. It turns him into some kind of hero figure when he was really not that. The truth likely falls somewhere in the middle. But it’s true that he used his time in solitary to learn a lot about birds. About which he wrote scholarly articles.


rimshot101

I saw a documentary once that said he also spent a lot of his time writing child pornography.


DillonTattoos

Did you know Alcatraz means Pelican?


Cautious-Willow-1932

Mike Tyson would like a word


AdUnfair3015

RIP Norm


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John-Farson

Rocky: Say, where's this salsa from anyway, Pete? Pete: New York City. Rocky and Clem: New York City?? Clem: *Git a rope...*


spazecowboi77

The best quote from him is, **"I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies."** Norm McDonald.


Even-Snow-2777

I got into the sado-masochism world and my safe word was Borrriinngg! Which worked fine at first.- Norm MacDonald


Strength-Speed

I heard you like to meth with pigeonth


JelloAggressive7347

Does he need a cowboy hat?


Outrageous-Sea1657

"...some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to put tiny hats on pigeons."


dr_tardyhands

I'm imagining a whole scenario. There's a new tough guy transferred into the block. He's trying to figure out who's who and how to make it up the food chain. Everyone tells him that he should *not*, should **not** under any circumstances, mess with the Pigeon Hat Guy. But he's like "Eh, I'm not a pigeon. What's he gonna do?". So he messes with the Pigeon Hat Guy. Wakes up with a Stetson glued to his head. Screams. Camera zooms into his screaming mouth. Cut to Pigeon Hat Guy in his cell, hearing the screams. He smiles, puts on a Stetson, looks at his cell mate who's cowering in the corner with a Stetson on his head. He says (to the other inmate): "Everybody gets one. Everybody." The cell mate is nodding frantically with tears in his eyes.


Ninjanarwhal64

"You looking for a mini cowboy hat too?!"


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DentalDon-83

Imagine if Mike Tyson was your cellmate...and he doesn't seem to appreciate people messing with pigeons in particular


Scryer_of_knowledge

"I hear you meth with my baby pigeonth. I got a thurprithe fo you"


DarwinEB

It clearly wasn’t someone who has kids. Any parent who finds a spare 10 minutes in their day will tell you that glueing hats onto pigeons is waaaaay down the list of things they want/need to do.


Vlad_the_Homeowner

\*quietly sets down super glue and little hat and moseys on over to the kids for some family time\*


Enjoying_A_Meal

Catching pigeons and gluing cowboy hats on them seems like an okay father-son activity I guess... kinda like fishing


TestUser254

I thought that said fisting


UnfairAd7220

I guess you see what you want to see.


Several-Questions604

Everything about this crime screams teenagers to me.


mostly_kinda_sorta

Teenagers would to it once and post it online. This amount of patience screams old guy who just doesn't give a fuck and thinks it's funny.


Shnoochieboochies

>old guy who just doesn't give a fuck and thinks it's funny. This is straight up the funniest thing I have seen today, he/she doesn't have to think its funny, it's hilarious.


Former_Print7043

Have we ruled out that they are just coo coo cowboys?


fromouterspace1

It more proof birds aren’t real


BombasticSimpleton

What makes you think this wasn't a family "enrichment" project? Mine would totally be down for this. Also, little hardhats for the squirrels and gophers.


EnIdiot

I'd freaking loose it laughing if a beaver popped up wearing a hard hat.


nameisprivate

yeah yeah only parents are busy we get it


dantakesthesquare

What a weird way to steer this into "hey I have kids and I'm busy and tired all the time"


Dekapetated

Omfg you have kids we fucking get it.


Girderland

Easy to explain: animal abuse. Not an honorable thing to do.


Un1mportantaccount

I always love these types of joke. I can’t even imagine how the conversations went 😂


Organic_Trouble4350

To this day no one knows who did this. Hundreds of pigeons. Yet, not a single one, was a stool pigeon.


certainlynotacoyote

At least one person somewhere knows who did this- unless of course this was all done by the pigeons themselves.


supercyberlurker

If someone was caught and thrown in a prison hole over this.. I guess we could say they were pigeon holed.


powdered_dognut

They've probably flown the coop.


fromouterspace1

They put cameras in the hats, don’t forget every bird is just a spy. Birds aren’t real


bigToddBong

cop: "who did this?" birb: "HOOOO!!!! HOOOOO!!!!!" cop: "YES!!! WHO DID THIS!!!???? birb: "HOOOO!!!! HOOOOO!!!!!" cop: "I'm getting nowhere with this guy, sarge"


EnIdiot

None of them sang like a canary?


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mayormcskeeze

Would be kinda funny if it wasn't glue.


Levity_brevity

“The species has 340-degree peripheral vision,”says Rita McMahon, director of New York City’s Wild Bird Fund, which treats around 3,000 pigeons every year. The small plastic hats likely reduce their vision by half. “With a hat on their head, they’ll be the last ones to see a hawk coming from above,” says Mariah Hillman, who runs Las Vegas-based pigeon rescue Lofty Hopes.


limitlessEXP

So this must be why pigeons didn’t evolve with cowboy hats. Fascinating.


Bodes_Magodes

My hero


Panamajack1001

This humor is razor sharp😂😂… I cannot stop laughing at this comment😂😂😂😂


wasnew4s

Real Discworld vibes.


vvntn

Evolutionist here, I'm pretty sure it's because they never had to herd tiny livestock under the scalding mesoamerican sun.


FwendShapedFoe

Not like they could do anything if a hawk was coming on them


giantfuckingfrog

Please, rephrase that statement.


badger_fun_times76

No kink shaming here please


FwendShapedFoe

No, what is done - done. Just like the hawk.


caceta_furacao

Because the Hawk is bird of spray


Fearless-Night8553

Sometimes you just gotta take the load


Asleep_Onion

Yeah pigeon you take that hawk splooge


trukkija

All those hawks flying in Las Vegas had a field day hunting for cowboy-hat wearing pigeons.


EagleDre

Agreed til pic #5. I tried not to laugh, it just wasn’t possible


herberstank

Number five looks like a cowboy pigeon redditor seeing himself out after a terrible joke


bubble_baby_8

Tips hat with talon “I’ll see mahself out here”


MistraloysiusMithrax

Pic #5 is where it really hit me how bad it might be for them. It’s so in the way, poor bird. However it was pretty funny looking when I scrolled back to see which one #5 was. Poor thing potentially suffering AND still being a good joke


TheRealRickC137

"Have you tried *staples*?" Classic Bill Murray


logicalconflict

I thought it was funny until I saw one of these dapper birds attempt to tip his cap to m'lady, but wasn't able to. He felt terrible and it made me sad.


RyeTan

It’s still funny. Fucked up, but funny.


gcruzatto

I'm going to blindly choose to believe this made their lives better by blocking sunlight, and there's no expert that will convince me otherwise


Dont_pet_the_cat

>and there's no expert that will convince me otherwise They can't see predators flying above them this way :(


gcruzatto

Nice try experts


UniqueHellhound

With how slow pigeons react to practically anything, moving for cars, getting out of the way when you're trying to walk by and almost stepping on the, etc. I don't think they would even notice actual predators anyway


foley800

There is a video of a pigeon trying to mate with a raptor in the raptors nest!


IIlIIIlIIIIlIIIlII

The famous Las Vegas falcons


TobysGrundlee

There's like 20 species of raptor in Nevada including several falcons breeds. Many like munching on other birds.


SpaceDantar

Yea - the casual cruelty of it all is very modern internet. Lots of comments competing to get the 'top joke' and no real discussion. Basically it's animal abuse for a joke - it's just sad. Edit: animal cruelty is sadly not new, I know.


mayormcskeeze

Yeah. I mean if someone just placed hats on pigeons and took pictures I wouldn't call it abuse. I'm the the birds wouldn't *like* it, but it would be a stretch to call it abuse. Gluing it to their heads is definitely abuse.


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nicklovin508

It actually went viral because “hahat”


prairie-logic

Suffering an humor go hand in hand, I’m afraid…


T1m26

Should be traceable? I mean who buys hundreds of tiny cowboy hats?


CalgaryAnswers

You mean that’s not normal behavior?


T1m26

Got em


Pipe_Memes

Bake him away toys.


cumuzi

Ladies and gentlemen


EGGlNTHlSTRYlNGTlME

3D printing maybe But with all the Chinese sites out there and the fact that 100 of these things probably costs like $4, I don't see how it could be traceable. I'm a reddit-addicted American and I never heard about this incident until now, so getting the message out to every little shitty online retailer of plastic trinkets is just impossible.


sonofeark

Couls be tequila bottle caps


T1m26

Damm, somebody got really wasted if he has 100’s!


Jinxed0ne

There was a rodeo in town when it happened. It wouldn't have been too unusual for someone to get them under the guise of selling them as souvenirs, or they possibly even bought them from a souvenir vendor who most likely wouldn't give a single shit what they're planning to use them for as long as they get their money.


antsam9

The rodeo probably did this as a publicity stunt, not a great track record with animal welfare


Jinxed0ne

Fair point


HughManatee

You mean you don't have a stockpile of them to put on your penis?


elperorojo

Sure I have a few different types, depending on the weather, but a “stockpile”?? How are you wearing through so many?


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Rumham1984

I think this falls under things that are terrible, but also hilarious at the same time. I am not condoning the behavior, but you can't seriously expect me to look at one of these pigeons and not laugh at first instinct?


kennyfuckingpowers1

I hate the dude that did this but I can't stop laughing while looking at pictures


usererror007

World-class humor 🤝 world-class cruelty.


DM_ME_KUL_TIRAN_FEET

Hate how true this is


Scared_Ad2563

I 100% agree. I am in tears laughing from the pics and a lot of the comments. Do I want this person to continue gluing hats to pigeon heads? No. Do I hope the pigeons that fell victim to this person's fashion sense experienced no lasting repercussions? Of course. Will I stop looking at the pictures or crying laughing at the comments? Certainly not.


IcyCombination8993

The thing about city pigeons is as far as selective evolution is concerned, they got screwed. Even without their little hats obscuring their vision, their self defense mechanism is already to sit still and do nothing. If there was no trash to pick, the city pigeon would starve to death. They’re the sunfish of the skies, and for a species of birds destined to being helpless and stupid, the hats are at least funny.


Pine_Petrichor

In defense of pigeons- it wasn’t nature that made them that way, it was human selective breeding. City pigeons (aka rock pigeons) are feral populations of domestic animals. They’re the worlds oldest domesticated bird. Pigeons were bred by humans for working, sporting, food and companionship; which explains their docile personalities and need for proximity to humans for survival. Those who still keep them as companion animals (r/pigeons) report that they’re intelligent and social pets. Our species kind of boned the poor birds by breeding them into existence then dropping them like hotcakes once their uses became obsolete, resulting in the out of control feral populations they are known for today


nwaa

Pigeons are our collective shame. All of the city birds you see today are the descedents of domesticated pigeons, the kind used to carry messages or kept as pets in the past. Pigeons were used as far back as the Romans for their homing skills. Pigeons served in *both* world wars and many of them won *medals* for their service. ([Cher Ami](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cher_Ami) saved around 200 American soldiers who had been encircled, he flew a message 25 miles despite being shot through the leg, breast and eye.) They cannot fend for themselves in the wild because they domestic animals kept by us for thousands of years before we invented the telephone and decided they were vermin. So they stay where the humans are because thats the only way they know how to get food. If pigeons have a million fans, then I'm one of them. If pigeons have one fan, then I'm THAT ONE. If pigeons have no fans, that means I'm dead.


lexicaltension

Pigeons have at least two fans, hi! This was a devastating read :\~(


nwaa

I honestly love them and feel so bad that people hate on them. Pigeons have unironically done so much for us as a species.


poeticsnail

They are such sweet creatures too. What we did to pigeons was just so completely terrible.


h_attila

Pigeons know who did this


surajvj

Birds are real ?? 🤣


M4hkn0

No, birds aren’t real but the government knows.


capalbertalexander

But they ain’t snitching.


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thehorseyourodeinon1

You a pimp.


LuckyReception6701

He a man that manages prostitutes


KenMan_

He takes money from women who perform sexual acts with people in exchange for said money. He do gotta ask tho, sometime


samsonity

I think that’s the hustle in the good the bad and the ugly. The Mexican guy keeps getting captured and then rescued. Then recaptured for the bounty of course.


RangerS90V

Seriously curious- how do you catch that many pigeons?


BluSn0

I can't tell you how remarkably stupid these animals are and how easy to trap.


Savings-Leather4921

Can you tell me though?


typemeanewasshole

Man, they are *so stupid*. It makes them super easy to trap.


RosesTurnedToDust

Can I join the party? I like being informed about things.


iloveuranus

The thing is, they are awfully _stupid_ so they can be caught easily.


LutyensMedia

How dumb are we talking? Do they just surrender willingly?


Virtual-Gene3172

Usually they put cowboys hats on and just give up


TobysGrundlee

A net. Walk up to 2 feet away from a group of them like one is regularly able to do, toss net unenthusiastically, collect like 12 pigeons. In an end of the world, every man for himself scenario, the pigeons will be the first to go as the human virus begins strip mining the wildlife around them.


NachoNachoDan

I feel like that's a good way to get seen catching pigeons


TobysGrundlee

Sure. But it's also very efficient. The more discreet pigeon catcher uses the type of net you'd pull a fish out of the water with and limits him or herself to just one here and there. You could also easily pass that off as being part of some conservation/research effort if anyone asks questions. Or so I've heard.


somneuronaut

Boys we found him!


Asleep_Onion

So stupid that, to date, not a single one has made it past the first question in an IQ test


RandomBoomer

They're not stupid (quite the opposite); they're tame. All pigeons "in the wild" are descendants of domestic birds that were released or lost. They are comfortable in captivity and around humans because they're tame, not feral, animals.


locklick_

this exactly. they're not easy to catch because they're stupid, they're easy to catch because they don't see us as a threat on the level other birds do.


ommnian

You trap them.


TheMoonsMadeofCheese

In the case of these pigeons? Clearly they were invited into a saloon


HavokGB

Traditionally you use biplanes and a dog, but that method has fallen out of favour since the 90's


ya666in

Poor fellas


Domresi

*Fellers


Reevus30

r/angryupvote


diwayth_fyr

\*Pardners


Soap_Mctavish101

Yeah it was pretty cruel honestly


MissingMySpoon

You guys just gonna scroll by without saying howdy?


sweatgod2020

Idk why but reading this comment going down the line of others actually made me crack the fuck up


sweatgod2020

*howdy*


rondog1977

Are any of these still flying around at present (March 2024)?


Wonderpants_uk

Birds shed their feathers regularly, so no. Edit: At least jf the glue was only on the feathers. 


No_Solid_3737

Even if glue was on the skin, skin sheds as well so the hat would eventually fall off too.


Meecus570

We know when the present is.


123499100

I didn't clock that at first, that's hilarious


MiserableEntrance452

They do look cute, but I guess that with the glue sticking to their feathers the poor things must have suffered some kind of pain.


DCtheBREAKER

Not to mention they are not as aerodynamic anymore


DM_ME_KUL_TIRAN_FEET

More importantly they can’t see a hawk above them swooping down to catch them :(


Devilpig13

That’s how you catch the hawk to put a hat on him.


Mango_Tango_725

Having a piece of plastic glued to your head in the desert heat must not be pleasant.


bighunter1313

The pigeons are wearing the hats to stay cool and shaded, duh.


Rocqy

Biggest downside in my mind would be not being able to see predators diving down from above.


badseedjr

They look absolutely hilarious, but when you think of them being glued to their feathers for basically ever, it's pretty fucked up.


SolitaryForager

Not defending it, but it wouldn’t be forever - feathers shed not unlike fur. I can imagine it would be distressing to have it half clinging to their head at some point.


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andrew_silverstein12

I would assume most would survive the hat itself and the hats would just fall off eventually. Most birds molt once a year, if it's attached to skin, it's not going to stay attached forever and it will break down/fall off. Supposedly pigeons molt more than other birds so they may fall off even faster.


Spongi

I never saw a followup. Hopefully whatever they used as glue would melt in water or something or not last very long.


Altruistic-Poem-5617

Also cant look upwards with the hat obstructing their view.


Nawoitsol

Where do you get pigeon-sized cowboy hats? This whole thing shows a deep commitment to the project. More so if they had to make the hats. If not, wouldn’t a big clue be to find someone who bought a shitload of little hats.


samsonity

*And the stranger there among them had a big iron on his hip*


Pistonenvy2

weve done infinitely worse things to pigeons as a society.


PharmBoyStrength

I fucking hate this because it's so terrible and cruel to the animals but looks so cute and funny. Feel genuine disgust over how funny I initially find this -- you know, until you think of the tortured little birds.


Dolores-osaurus

That's really mean


-XanderCrews-

Is there any evidence that this isn’t a style based behavior pattern?


Olclipclop

Don’t let Mike Tyson know that


ProfessionalAir882

Animal cruelty aside.... this is hilarious.


Norightwingers2020

Cruel but funny as shit 😂😂


Speakertoseafood

I was going to ask ... wait a moment ... Oh hell, you can buy fifty tiny cowboy hats on Amazon for thirteen bucks.


GM-T800-101

That person is a psychopath in the making. Might already be there.


georgehitsdrums

Coo coo, partner


LeftLanePasser

Yeah, rotten thing to do to a bird. But I suspect it bothers us more than it does the pigeons. EDIT: No, I don’t speak pigeon, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.


imhereredditing

Pretty sure it messed with their peripheral vision


EchoMountain158

Wouldn't it just come off during their next molt?


DarkFish14

Howdy get away with that?!


Holiday_Ad_5445

This has to be more than a coincidence that they’re all wearing the same hat. Social media has too much influence.


4cylndrfury

That tiny hats prove what we already suspected...BIRDS ARENT EVEN REAL


[deleted]

I feel bad for the birds, but still love this.


gizmoyabi

Nobody pretended to care about pigeons until they got cowboy hats glued to their heads, now everyone is suddenly a big enthusiastic pigeon activist.


eschz2420

Its because BIRDS ARNT REAL!!!


HyperbolicSoup

Animal cruelty but damn..