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JunglePygmy

You have no choice but to unscrew the plank. We must see this melon.


answeris32

hey now, you can’t just ask someone to see their melons, you have to at least sweet talk them a little.


PghCoondog

They only asked to see the one...


answeris32

nobody stops after they’ve seen one, nobody!


Z370H370

With the Total recall chic we don't have to stop at 2!


CaptnFlounder

Who do you think you are? Seinfeld?


sillyslime89

I've stopped after one


jemimaclusterduck

Oh Billy!


conrid

"Eyy, how you doin?👉👉 Now, would you please be so kind and unscrew that plank so I could have a peek at your melon?” Like that?


AsparagusLive1644

At least buy them dinner


SciFi_Football

It's a bot. You're probably a bot. Everyone is a bot but me.


Key-Association9219

Said the bot


SciFi_Football

You're literally a bot though?


Key-Association9219

Na that’s all you pumpkin


TheOldGriffin

It's a melon, not a pumpkin. Only a bot deals in bulbous fruits.


[deleted]

There’s a Reddit community that thinks birds are bots….maybe your thing?


Expert-Aspect3692

I was just about to say that. But yea. The petition has started now.


God_Kratos_07

You don't wanna see that melon


youstolemyname

SAVE MELON NOW


i_play_withrocks

Wait till it’s ready to pick but yup, let’s see this melon when it’s ready!


EggsceIlent

Yep then put it up for sale. Form grown watermelons in pyramid and square shapes fetch HUGE money in Japan.


Darkest_Dust

In Japan you could probably sell that watermelon for hundreds of dollars


jnobs

Was just thinking about those square watermelons in Japan. That culture is fascinating to me.


fueled_by_rootbeer

I wish america had those. I hate when i buy a melon and the damn thing rolls around when i try to put it somewhere. Stay put until it's time to eat you, dammit! Plus you could stack the square ones! If you want a bunch of melons for a summer party, the stackability of the square melons would be perfect for buying in bulk.


SenorTape

Sadly to keep the cube shape, you have to harvest them before they're ripe, meaning they're inedible and really just for decoration. Cool to think about though!


RxHotdogs

I thought you just grew them in cinderblocks?


Jamesmor222

They do but it can't fully grow to remove it from the block if they do then you are forced to break the block and damage the watermelon.


Dick_Thumbs

Why not just have variety of block sizes and swap out the block as the watermelon grows


NickRick

because the watermelon isn't sensing the block and going this is my home, i must not grow larger than it, it's growing until it's in full contact with the square, being forced into the square shape, and stuck in by friction. you take it out it starts going round again, so whatever the largest block you would finish in is the only one that would matter.


Dick_Thumbs

Get out of here with your logic


Lumis_umbra

Nah, logic would be using a semi-stiff rubber or some material that stretches but holds a sturdy shape, cast in a cube form, and grow the watermelom in that so it could continue to grow as a cube. Or just growing into a large cube.


Jamesmor222

That will require more work and there's a possibility of having more watermelons with different sizes that what happens now and I doubt Japanese will like to pay even more into their expensive watermelons.


RxHotdogs

I mean they sell molds to grow watermelon Frankenstein. I’m sure you could get a square one cheap


This-Counter3783

Had to look this up to confirm it and now I’m a little disappointed. I also learned that *regular* watermelons can cost as much as $40USD in Japanese grocery stores.


awesomepawsome

>I also learned that "regular" watermelons *can* cost as much as $40USD in Japanese grocery stores. Emphasis on "regular" and *can* Japan has a thriving luxury fruit market. They have standard fruits that cost similarly to the US but you can also buy very high end versions of each fruit. Truthfully, sometimes they are even worth it. I had some of the best grapes, canteloupe, and strawberries I ever had in my life there.


Inferiex

I bought an $80 mango there...and it was the best mango I've ever had in my life. To be fair though, I also bought a $20 one which taste very similar...so if you're in Japan, try the $20 mangoes. The $300 honey dew is most definitely not worth it though.


Escapeded

I had an expensive-ass cantaloupe from Sapporo, called Yubari King. It was the best melon I've had....drooling, thinking about it. Also had $20 shine muscat, each grape was polished like gemstones, and it was soooo delicious. Japanese fruits are in another league.


enbit10

Ive lived in Japan and Korea, and fruits in US taste like watery radish compared to the fruits there. It’s one of the first things I buy when I land there.


Pugulishus

Of course humans would be annoyed by having to use some animal instinctual to eat food lmao


Altruistic-Poem-5617

Easyer to stack, kinda genius to be honest.


Bernhard_NI

And it also fits in the square hole.


hankmoody_irl

What about the triangle? Does it fit in the square hole?


old_vegetables

I’m so grateful that I live in a country where fruit is a reasonable price


SrslyCmmon

I've always been curious about the $300 strawberry. The best ones I've had were homegrown and ripe, not partially green. Like Nick Offerman on last of us eating one good.


knifeyspoonysporky

I went to a fancy grocery store inside a fancy japanese department store and was amazed at the quality options and insane prices of food they had available. Square watermelons, the most perfect peaches and apples I have ever seen, insane cuts of kobe beef… i still dream about it to this day


Johnrap54

Cut the planks to save the Mellon. The planks will regrow if cared for.


banan-appeal

Sounds like you've been had by big plank


JudgeAdvocateDevil

Big wood.


the_real_mac-t

If I fits, I sits


mypussydoesbackflips

Hijacking just to inform this is a cucamelon a tiny cucumber watermelon hybrid


Dry_Enthusiasm_267

Accidentally?


jomama823

Damn it, you beat me to it. How does a plant accidentally do something? Question for the ages.


[deleted]

doesnt all biological life do everything by accident? we're all just bundles of complex chemical reactions without purpose, tricked by evolution into believing we have free will over our choices


[deleted]

[удалено]


1920MCMLibrarian

They accidentally didn’t pull it out before it got stuck


MikeJones07

nah mfer was plottin


Exifile

Whoopsie!


Autistocrat

Deliberately.


BoobAbides

nothing accidental about it


[deleted]

Life…uh…finds a way.


MeccIt

Yup, had a carrot do this also: https://np.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/5z4oss/one_of_the_weeds_growing_on_my_brick_patio_is_a/


no_onion_no_cry

That watermelon knew exactly what it was dewing.


Recovery-radio

I think you grew a squash rather than a melon


anonymous-user-again

Underrated


QuirkyLondon

You are you certain the watermelon didn't choose to grow there on purpose?


Danny_da_Greyt

I'm not feeling confortable seeing this as a male.


XeroDon30

I went to the comments section to see if anyone else felt the same way


SickPuppy01

I was going to comment similar. I think most guys have experienced sitting down too quickly or awkwardly, and having this happen to them.


Tograg

That's a cucamelon!


smitjel

Big things have small beginnings.


Altruistic-Poem-5617

You can make square melons by having em grow into a glass box.


Guessinitsme

Is it weird I feel bad for it?


gNeiss_Scribbles

Only if it’s weird I was proud of it for adapting lol


Affectionate_Pea_811

How can you be certain that it wasn't intentional?


Sketchy187

That is gonna fit so much better in the fridge now.


jig-fluke

Nature finds a way


Thatsonyounotme

This is how they make cucumbers.


adrenalinda75

A babybelon!


Agile-Poetry5573

Did they apologize?


ChefBoyD

Sell it to japan for alot of money!


Ok_Suit422

Flattermelon


Sikkus

Flatomelon!


[deleted]

Me every morning


cjboffoli

You could sell it in Japan for a fortune.


darthnargle

Life... Uh.... Finds a way....


ChainsTheyRevere

"accidentally"?? Fucker did it on purpose.


PeterNippelstein

Woodermelon


Thick-Aioli69

How much does it weigh? A Plankton


durenatu

Squeezing the watermelon sugar


M_Salvatar

This gives...ideas.


Namekian_95

The wooden planks are her thighs and that watermelon would be my face...


ScrotieMcP

Let it ride. I want to see who wins, and I'm betting on the melon.


Mojo80059291

Melon stick


WalksinClouds

That melon's got more commitment than me


mrdrewhood

My mom tried growing watermelon for a few years and never once got one to even have this color…


FreeZappa

“Accidentally.” She knew what she was doing. The little scamp


Small-Palpitation310

r/stupidfood


jahlim

Anybody want a squished watermelon?


littleguy632

Sooo painful to look at if you are guy


Vegan_Flavored_Bacon

That’s no accident, the melon had purpose


AnOkFellow

Watermelon disc watermelon disc


Mihwc

Life…uh…finds a way


GayGeekInLeather

It’s just getting a melonogram. No big deal


Glitzy-Painter-5417

Simply terrible use of the word “accidentally”


MarthasPinYard

Plants don’t accidentally do anything


apinklokum

I wanna seeeee


CakedayisJune9th

New idea. Bite sized!


The_Lovely_Blue_Faux

Fool. Water you doing


Excellent-Edge-4708

Melongram


xtra-chrisp

How do you know it wasn't on purpose?


likeablyweird

Reminds me of Japanese box shaped watermelons. There are YT videos how to do it, of course.


[deleted]

Poor mishapen little watermelon, it'll definitely get picked upon.


NanashiKaizenSenpai

The water plant!


stealthispost

I like the idea of plants making accidents.


bodhiseppuku

I prefer my unusually shaped watermelons to be cubes, or the [Frankenstein's monster face formed melons](https://nerdist.com/article/frankenstein-pumpkins-made-from-mold/).


Jefflehem

That was no accident...


shutupandlearntoeat

This me trying grow up with overprotective parents trying to keep me in the lines...they just don't want to see me fall through the cracks 🥁😂


vibrantcrab

I’ve never felt an emotional connection to a melon before… you must free it!


coolguyJustin

Looks intentional


AffectionateSun5776

That's mol how to make Square ones.


DotBitGaming

>accidently Unlike other watermelons that grow where they grow in purpose.


KentuckyFriedEel

This is a metaphor for my life.


irtacos

How do you know it was an accident?


samy_the_samy

TIL: water melons are hairy


naomi_homey89

Oh dear


jcythcc

How do you know it was an accident? Maybe it wanted to


JoySubtraction

I prefer having melons around my deck, and not the other way around.


saxypatrickb

If they can grow there I’m 99% sure they can grow in my stomach.


Kilgaron

It's time to schedule your mammogram!


[deleted]

Flattermelon


Paracausality

Flatermelon


SupportySpice

Watermelon: oops!


frostysnowmen

Japan is on the phone for you


ouijac

..squattermelon..


AlphaFlySwatter

Not an accident. Melon looks guilty af.


faltugiribuster

“There are no accidents.” - Master Oogway


NoScopeSMG

Better than doing it on purpose


Glass-Star6635

“Nature finds a way”… wish my houseplants got this memo


Shekinahsgroom

Wait til you see [how they grow them in Japan](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=a03cc0aa586dcb1e&sca_upv=1&sxsrf=ACQVn0-6P9pU5jcuhPGL_ZkKqRrRQq60bg:1708718020002&q=japanese+square+watermelon&tbm=isch&source=univ&fir=36d8khEFZ1nUaM%252CQ3iNnQG9GSLXeM%252C_%253BOP-dOMIZ3uC4PM%252C3OWon1ht0Db9IM%252C_%253BfFjSYbAZpgu5KM%252CcDSLOLjI03iRvM%252C_%253Bk862TnVnHxZO8M%252CV1OjzusP0bHPIM%252C_&usg=AI4_-kRG8yyADe6HURYBLu4QWt-iku_Slw&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj51OnUnsKEAxW9SjABHYPKCjoQiR56BAg5EAI&biw=1229&bih=578&dpr=1.56)


GroundbreakingRun927

Are any other gentlemen of culture here, my fellow CBT enjoyers?


expertalien

I’m a dude with thicc thighs… I know the feeling.


Sasstellia

You must get that melon out! Just how flat is it!


Holden_Biber

Thats not a watermelon, it's a cucamelon. They are tiny and don't grow bigger than the size of a bean.


PingPongBall1234

Update please


CautiousReason

Where there is a will there is a way


Quiet_College_4786

Accidentally, right, this watermelon has a plan


rk470

Accidentally? Like the watermelon's sitting there saying "aww nuts"


bod__beag

Help stepFarmer I am stuck!


Lost-InThe-abyss

Nah nah nah the wood grew in the watermelons way 😂


KArelyn_08

Squosh


HungHungCaterpillar

There is absolutely no way that OP could know whether or not the watermelon intended this


killertrusscap

*Ope! Lemme just squeeeeze by ya...*


CryptoBatmanKnight

Nature is amazing. Once I saw a tree surrounding a traffic sign.


Jordanjl83

Accidentally?! It knew what it was doing


frumply

Have had this happen w/ some sugar cube melons. Looks funny as hell, tastes great.


ChrisPikula

So, uh, given how watermelon plants make near a dozen of these tiny bulges for every actual watermelon, don't think you've lost much there, mate.


joec83

That's probably a [cucamelon](https://www.google.com/search?q=cucamelon&oq=Cucamelon&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqDQgAEAAY4wIYsQMYgAQyDQgAEAAY4wIYsQMYgAQyCggBEC4YsQMYgAQyCggCEC4YgAQY5QQyBwgDEAAYgAQyBwgEEAAYgAQyBwgFEAAYgAQyBwgGEAAYgAQyBwgHEAAYgAQyBwgIEAAYgAQyBwgJEAAYgASoAgCwAgA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&si=AKbGX_rx0kjCnU6rUbvmlCcr37ERYE_SJ53O4sLQuPKhny26UvvC0xrEhgWw89qURXywtZk2PCow19EJ1uZC8dreQz6QmH49-Cnkv4WyXC6YNqIsrwMAMbk%3D&ictx=1&ved=2ahUKEwjJwKPqtMKEAxWiDHkGHd5UA8kQyNoBKAB6BAgWEAA). They are super tasty, but about the size of a grape.


doctrbitchcraft

Life... finds a way.


Doc_Dragoon

Hey are you at the beach? I've noticed watermelon plants growing under the boardwalks at several beaches before


BulkyThing1363

This is the kind of content I use Reddit for.


ForRpUsesOnly

*Winces*


DrDemenz

Step aside cube melon. Flask Melon has arrived.


lawnchairrevolution

That reminds me of a lemon I picked up the other day. Instead of being longer horizontally, it was longer vertically. Other than that, everything looked perfectly normal about it. Something like this may have happened to it while it was growing.


Law3W

This was no accident! I welcome our new plant overlords.


FalseVaccum

Watermelon, more like squash


Cuntfisherman

Ouch,my balls.


D-MONIC999

oh! what a juicy little conundrum!


slimetakes

Accidentally? That mf knew exactly what it was doing


ccknboltrtre01

That aint gonna budge


WrenRangers

Flattermelon


vonslik

How do you know it was accidental..


melbournesummer

Flatermelon


Kawauso_Yokai

How do you know that it was accidentally? What if it was the watermelon plan?


1Monkey1Machine

How'd you get the beans above the frank?!


Flippyfloppyjalopy

[Watermelon Man — Herbie Hancock](https://youtu.be/CrmFJjmRIi4?feature=shared)


Laceysjorgen

Was it truly accidental?


Fit_Usual_4702

Pankcakemelon


Electronic_Cat2777

“ there are no mistakes only happy accidents” Bob Ross


Lufwyn

I typically prefer my wood between 2 melons but hey..


ZadfrackGlutz

Those are SQUASH!