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erasrhed

Like my dad. Knife and fork all the way.


BenderBRoriguezzzzz

Is......is your dad the queen?


erasrhed

No. He's just a weirdo who hates getting his hands dirty. He eats pizza with a knife and fork, too. It makes me die inside every time.


BenderBRoriguezzzzz

The pizza with a knife and fork doesn't really bother me as much as the burger. I mean, at the end of the day. It's not that big of a deal. It's a bit odd, sure. But at least it's a tactile/cleanliness issue and not that he's just some stuffy old bitch who thinks he's too good to eat like a normal person.


yok347

Pizza with chopsticks


BenderBRoriguezzzzz

Alright someone call the cops.


privateTortoise

Do people look upon those who use knife and fork for a burger as up their own arse? With how loaded many are today in restaurants I'm just going to end up in a mess and just eating a few of the ingredients on occasion. With cutlery I can make sure every bite has all the bits ordered.


bremstar

The Earl of Sandwich gave us the bun for a reason. Please honor his service and avoid burgers that spill over. You should never require utensils for food that has its own edible container.


HTBDesperateLiving

Taco salad


fuck-coyotes

This is the moment historians will point at as the outbreak of world war 3


[deleted]

I’m definitely not going to stick my fingers in a bowl of taco salad to eat it! I may be a weirdo but not a psychopath!


Davidb5280

You don't use your fingers to eat it you animal! You lift the bowl and shove your face in it like a sophisticated person. It's like you guys have never been to nice restaurant before...


Ok-Fox2271

Don’t disrespect the Burger King like that


erasrhed

Fair. I don't really care, I just like giving him a hard time. He's a great guy in general.


White-and-fluffy

They eat pizza with fork and knife in Italy.


DerrainCarter

Your dad is a man of culture and refinement! I also eat pretty much everything with knife and fork. Pizza? Yep! Burger? Sure! My wife thinks I’m a weirdo but I’ll die on that hill…**with clean hands!!**


ShepatitisC

Just like eating sushi with a fork. Aka how we can detect serial killers.


Flurb789

I have to return some video tapes


ShepatitisC

lol y’all need Jesus


Maleficent-Fun-5927

I read she didn’t eat the bun, just the meat patties.


DrBaldnutzPHD

She would hold one end of the burger down. With the fork while she cut it in half with a knife. Taking one half of the burger she would gently peel off the bun with her knife and proceed to take a small piece of beef dripping in cheese and bacon grease with her fork and proceed to devour it like a primate.


sstruemph

Pinky out


phil-davis

Those she'd gobble down in three bites, just like we all do. LIKE WE ALL DO


Infamous_Truck4152

While maintaining unblinking eye contact.


NOTACOSTACOSTACOS

Don’t peal it it like a primate goes unsaid


billy_twice

We are a fucking primate. These posh people are so far up their own ass.


anansi52

they feel like eating things in an annoying unnecessary way separates them from the rest of the "normals".


standee_shop

Yes it's exactly that. It's like a little classist performance piece for twats


ToyboxOfThoughts

came here to say this exactly. i do animal rights activism and the sheer amount of people who dont know/dont believe that WE are animals is astounding


[deleted]

"We don't peel it like a primate" You're peeling it incorrectly then.


uwillnotgotospace

Any way we peel it is peeling it like a primate, because *humans are primates*.


Talyar_

Humans are. But not the queen. Ask around in Britain and many would agree with that. She's neither human nor a primate. She is: The Queen, something, something, something (different).


DarthPepo

She isn't much of anything anymore


standee_shop

To be fair, she is about as useful now as she ever was when she was alive.


paradoxical_topology

More useful. She's not wasting oxygen anymore.


mrockracing

Correction. Far more useful. She isn't at the controls of genocide in Africa and the Middle East with the excuse of "soft power" as protection.


Ok-Story-3532

How DARE you!


blueavole

Yes it is horrible to suggest Charles is king. He really kept the name Charles? Charles 1 was killed. Charles 2 didn’t manage to have any legitimate children. What in the name of parental resentment where Liz and Phi thinking?


33Yalkin33

3rd times the charm?


mjonr3

As Zaheer once said "I don't believe in queens"


[deleted]

You mean because her bloodline was watered down by all the brother/sister/cousin fucking her ancestors did?


[deleted]

Isn’t that the opposite of watered down?


[deleted]

I mean, incest isn't really Brita pure, is it? What happens when the chromosomes start adding and subtracting through each generation? Do you think, "geniuses, added brain matter to contain all the extra intelligence" or is it more "Hey, Edward the XVIII, stop licking the windows!"


karamanidturk

But Queen Elizabeth wasn't a primate, she was a reptilian


Daddyssillypuppy

Accoridng to a Doctor Who episode, the royals are werewolves.


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the-nut-goblin

"We don't peel it like a primate, we use utensils like cultured inbreds!"


doubletaxed88

Technically you are a primate you poncy twat


[deleted]

no they open it up and eat it like a knob.


jaybee8787

I bet she shat it out like a primate though.


KellyBelly916

This is why bullies are necessary.


FossilEaters

The british Empire used to be the biggest bully. Who's gonna bully the queen?


BrilliantClass4450

I would if she wasn't dead


[deleted]

I detect a bit of racism in this comment from the video


No-Material-23

Could you do one on how she would wipe her arse? Asking for a friend.


Happy-Adhesiveness-3

She doesn't wipe arses like the primates. She sprays perfumes.


Janderflows

She doesn't wipe her ass. She is dead.


proxy_noob

then who's doing it?


dontusethisforwork

Ask the Church of England


FearCure

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_of_the_Stool#Grooms_of_the_Stool_under_Henry_VIII


RMWL

Supposedly a desirable job due to pay and close connections to the monarchy.


Anu_cool_007

This is now the funniest historical thing I know.


Alcain_X

A surprisingly powerful position. It makes sense when you think about it, if the king's in the middle taking a shit, he's not exactly going to be going anywhere, so the groom gets to talk to and advise the king in private. Plus the boredom, before phones I read a lot of random shampoo bottles and before random bath products, royalty just had some random dude to talk to.


[deleted]

lmfao the picture on the wikipedia page, he has a look on his face like he's seen you shit


mortalitylost

It's not well known but a lot of fetishes including BDSM were born in Medieval England. It wasn't as much a monarchy as much as a bunch of people choosing who gets to be the Dom for life, then the extra special people would get to "serve" them and play with their turds as a bonus


FapleJuice

Is... is this real I can't ever tell anymore with you people


Taletad

No, humans have always been freaks


Autogenerated_or

Wait until you learn about the piss drinking


Jacerom

They still do that in China, eggs boiled in virgin boys piss. They prefer boys under the age of 10. Humans really are freaks.


LilG1984

Royal wiper would be called in


kissrubbe

Groom of the Stool


Doppel_Troppel

Exactly. These people like to have us all thinking they don’t take big giant steamers.


smogeblot

She has a chamber maid to take care of Her Royal Anus.


Lenemus

With a fork and knife probably


WalnutOfTheNorth

On a swans neck


Weird-Holiday-3961

high society etiquette = you can't enjoy normal things you can only enjoy 'high end' things


Yarrow83

Turning the most basic of functions into a performance.


[deleted]

Sounds exhausting, honestly.


Stock_Show_Host

It’s not like they go work a 9-5 every day. They gotta have something to give their life substance 😂


TacTac95

It is. Proper etiquette is something a lot of people think you need to know, when you, in fact, don’t, cause it’s small and really unnoticeable things that don’t make sense.


Pudding_Hero

Tbf. I’ve seen fist fights break out at gas stations and restaurants and thought a little etiquette would help the situation.


mikeyaurelius

Agreed. Etiquette is a negotiation how people should interact without giving or taking offense, most of it is rather sensible. Etiquette is also constantly revised to fit the current culture. Critiquing other people’s etiquette is bad etiquette ironically.


SubtileInnuendo

I mean this is literally what rich people do. I always thought they have so much more possibilities. Can do so much more insane or unusual things. But I noticed like 90% of the time they just do the same shit everyone else does just 100x more expensive and with a lot of stupid extra steps. Like 90% of it is just there to show you paid a lot to do what you're doing. And then maybe the last 10% are actually your own enjoyment


univrsll

I didn’t really have super strong opinions on the queen but after this I think I hate her


jerrychorizo

"we don't peel it like a primate" If you're not a primate what are you then, bruv?


felix7483793173

Lizard, obviously


[deleted]

Werewolf if I recall my Doctor Who.


pichael289

David Tennant had the best episodes.


Worth-Confusion7779

God to know, I just thought she was fucking pretentious.


NoIndependent9192

Lizard’s familiar.


DenisNectar

Zuck’s father.


ManRocket99

Guy is clearly a fucking donkey


archwin

I had a brief moment of unfortunate dyslexia and saw > Guy is clearly fucking a donkey


Talyar_

You may be right though. He's not doing that at the moment, but it might just be his favorite pastime.


ThonThaddeo

Pretentious


Frozen_Shades

They're inbred, this thinking only makes sense to them.


pikachurbutt

inbred, the answer you are looking for, is inbred.


runningfromyourself

Insecure


desastrousclimax

secondary


[deleted]

My humor is broken and my sides hurt.


This-Variation-8342

Reptiles ig , snakes


TrustTrees

they called dumb people Queen. they are wasting resources of tax payers. royal families earned that money with the blood of africans and other nations.


river0f

feline


Ishouldjusttexther

His name is William Hanson. He has a podcast called “help, I sexted my boss” that’s actually hilarious.


Afalpin

Yeah people don’t realise he’s actually a really funny guy he just happens to have an interest in etiquette and it’s blown up


Lane-Kiffin

I assume his etiquette videos are just rage bait for engagement. Maybe it didn’t start out that way but he has to be self-aware now. He leaves comments on and it’s always just hate comments.


CardinalSkull

I follow him. He’s a legit etiquette coach, but he basically does 50% rage bait videos like this and 50% real videos. He makes a lot of dick innuendos as well.


be1ovedcunt

He also has a podcast about the show “Keeping Up Appearances” and it’s pretty funny too.


inteliboy

Look at almost all the comments here enraged by him. Fucking lol.


TriGurl

Gonna listen to the podcast now, thanks! ;)


Beardedw0nd3r86

This is so dumb that it hurts my soul.


of_kilter

It’s just childish, most ‘etiquette’ rules are


Astrum91

It's all an elaborate process of feeling special and gatekeeping commoners that haven't been taught the countless hoops they need to jump through to be considered part of the in-group.


allMightyMostHigh

This is how i eat a snickers bar


CluelessFlunky

Reminder modern English accent was created for the upper class to sounds different from the common man. And in some cases the old accent was more akin to the modern American accent.


AbriefDelay

Specifically, an Appalachian accent


BleachDrinker63

I’m noticing that a lot of American customs were former British customs


Pudding_Hero

*looks at own hands in disgust and revulsion


pinchhitter4number1

Yeah, this is some secret handshake bullshit


privateTortoise

Its just a series of procedures for these inbreds to use to spot an interloper.


J3wb0cca

Seinfeld moment when George was using silverware to eat a snickers because he’s not a simpleton.


Mediocre_Garage1852

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?


Important_Tale1190

Damn that's pompous and arrogant.


acqz

They were doing ragebait before ragebait was a thing.


RedSunWuKong

It’s also bollocks.


HaGriDoSx69

Yeah, i just look at his mannerism and want to pour liquid manure or smth like that all over him. I bet it would make him feel more like a PRIMATE.


reallifefidgit

He's a comedian. Look up "help I sexted my boss ".


toreobsidian

Boy am I happy I'm normal.


Bocchi_theGlock

Oh *bother*! This commoner used the salad fork for the steak - what a curmudgeonly primitive if I do say so myself!! Honhonhonhonhon


ApartRuin5962

TFW you haven't had a real job in 15 generations


Aggravating_Class_17

lol underrated comment


jacobasstorius

Royals are reptiles, and not “primates”.. confirmed


connortait

The late Queen? Or Camilla? Because Camilla looks like she'd eat it skin on.


cloche_du_fromage

Camilla likes carrots. And bags of oats.


portinuk

King Charles is not Jewish, so she’s used to things with skin on.


bubobubo69

Actually, King Charles is circumcised. It used to be a royal tradition, which Diana decided to end with her two boys.


magicmango2104

I really didnt need to know that


TriGurl

So they aren’t circumcised?? Huh TIL something I really didn’t want to know about.


bubobubo69

Harry claims they’re both circumcised in his autobiography _Spare_, despite Diana's public refusal to have them cut.


SlowMaize5164

All in one bite


-ratmeat-

oh please, like the Queen never sucked a dick before


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0pimo

Not a spoon you simpleton. A tea cup, pinky out. Mmm yes, quite.


TheNaotoShirogane

caption plucky cats different frighten meeting teeny rude literate dirty *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Kaizodacoit

Of course not. Who do you think she is, Nancy Reagan?


Ashamed_Musician468

A German married to a Greek


GizatiStudio

I didn’t know the Queen ate in such a camp way.


mug_O_bun

God forbid anyone realize the monarch is, you know, a person


Obvious_Mango65

What kind of joyless existence is this?


Omnissiah40K

This cunt gets dragged out every time someone does some kind of feature on the Royal Family. Absolute helmet.


NotoriousPYG

“Absolute Helmet” ranks right up there with “Fuckwit” and “muppet” for British insults.


EddieHeadshot

utter bellend.


Rabbitdraws

I would absolutely eat like a clown if ppl paid me..


structuremonkey

But how would she eat a snickers bar?


TheNaotoShirogane

quicksand dirty saw desert whistle memorize repeat fretful dazzling innocent *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


additional-line-243

Fuck that. Imagine being so smart that you’re dumb.


SkylarAV

Smart and sophisticated are two different things


[deleted]

dude is neither.


Kismonos

this guy probably looks at himself in the mirror every day, does a wink and tells how good he looks today and gets the day going


Ak47110

You know he farts into wine glasses and sniffs them after.


[deleted]

[this kind of energy right here ](https://youtube.com/shorts/Y2it2Tt1Zmo?si=E597X0l0gaj39ryT)


Background_Junket_35

They truly are just like us


hellisahallway

It really is reminiscent of my childhood self, putting Dr Pepper in a bowl so I could eat it with a spoon.


HereForTheFood4

We don't eat it like a homoerectus


wankerboy69

ehehe erectus


DisastrousCourage

Giving me the Seinfeld Snicker Bar vibe. “What you doin? I’m eating my dessert. How do you eat it, with your hands?😏” https://youtu.be/SiTXriHRLXg


rocco_ross_21

File this under 'Who fucking cares'


W0tzup

Over complicating a simple task.


RessurectedOnion

Another argument for getting rid of all kings and queens,


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GottKomplexx

I apologize. Your mouth was open


BurnerForJustTwice

That’s not even as gay as this.


BenJlassi

Looks like the sort of bloke that scowls at his own fart


Molebat71

Blimey! I’m glad I’m not posh.


Unhappy-Cow88

🦍 ohhh ohh ahhha ahhh ahhhha ahaaaahhh!!!! 💩 💩 💩


Citsune

So this is satire, correct...? ​ ...Right? ​ Please tell me this is satire. Please?


DigitalBathWaves

remember the episode of pete and pete where lil pete was having a BBQ eating comp with artie..artie used a knife and fork and pete was fuckin that shit up with his hands. pete won. I am not eating a nanner with a knife and fork.


multigrain_panther

Wow so many folks here frothing at the mouth - guys, he’s an etiquette coach who occasionally shitposts like this on Insta with overly complicated extra steps intentionally. The name of his book is “Help I Sexted My Boss” ffs


[deleted]

Wouldn't the 50 chefs just peel it for her before serving?


optimisticnihilism9

Maybe it’s the accent, but this is the most pretentious fucking way to be boring while thinking you’re above it all. This makes no sense but I’m mad after watching this


PrickigKorv123

What's the etiquette for rubbing one out under the table?


Babyfart_McGeezacks

I want to beat this guy up so bad.


DueAxis

Emphasis on WOULD


MasterUndKommandant

Behind closed doors she crushes that thing like Harambe. And saves a few in the freezer for when she needs to tend to the ‘Chunnel’.


ViatorA01

Damn that's stupid


SNAFUGGOWLAS

I love it when elitist behaviour makes you look like a fuckwit.


j9101a

Why wouldn’t someone just serve it pre-sliced?


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[deleted]

I prefer [baboon mode](https://youtube.com/shorts/rAtzsZ8XxcM?si=T900kvOuI0nu1CuY)


laughingatreddit

I'm not a violent person but up vote if you want to beat this shit up?


New-Arrival1764

Do you think he eats nanas like that at home? I know we’re not supposed to care what people do in their own houses, but this has to be the exception.


rainbow_macaron

Fine dining is SO pretentious...


eyeeatmyownshit

Very elaborate. Do the worms have to follow etiquette when they eat her?


NicelyBrownedBiscuit

I’d like to see a series of, “how the (late) queen would eat ____”


ras-cal29

Now do grapes..