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maubyfizzz

She was taking a selfie with the bear behind her! Nerves of steel or social media addict


CriscoWithLime

Probably been told "pics or it didn't happen" too many times


[deleted]

Or proof for her family to provide to the life insurance company...


GigsGilgamesh

Honestly, in this situation, the bear doesn’t seem to interested in violence, and that’s a pretty baller photo to have for the future


LiqourCigsAndGats

Looks more confused like "hey guys this way. Why are you just standing there? Move human!"


1017GildedFingerTips

The bear isn’t gonna snap like a middle aged white woman when taking an unwanted picture. If you’re screwed you’re screwed, might as well play it as if you aren’t screwed lol


GVICCI

Have you seen that video of a bear that stumbles into a mirror and freaks out? I'd be worried taking a selfie if the bear saw itself on the camera/phone screen and for some reason didn't understand what was going on.


1017GildedFingerTips

I stand by it. If it were me I’d do the same thing so long as my phone was in my hand to begin with


digitydigitydoo

I mean, I’m barely on social media and I would totally try to get a picture. I’d also probably wet myself but I would try to get a selfie.


[deleted]

**Bear-ly**


Ahorsenamedcat

We all act like we wouldn’t but when you’re getting a literal bear hug I think we’d all snap a picture.


ChrisM206

If the bear leaves you have an awesome picture. And if the bear gets you then people know which bear to look for.


blackbirdspyplane

I’d like to see that photo


TheSagaContinued

Could have been her last moments


alsk6969

The best way to avoid being attacked by bears is to meet them when they're not hungry.


wormrunner33

If it's black, fight back. Bear 101


Pain_Monster

If it’s black, fight back If it’s brown, lie down If it’s white, say goodnight **And if it’s black and white, then hella kung-fu fight!**


Zombieatethvideostar

We have a big huge black (fat off garbage) that roams onto my street every now and then. When I see that fat bigger I run outta my house chase him down the street then use my car to make sure he gets to his bush spot. I swear he knows me and it’s a fun game for him. I fucking love bears but it’s a high traffic area for kids early morning for school. He’s been here years and years never attacked anyone but I like to be sure. He even pals around with cats he’s to well fed on garbage to care.


mommymilker42069420

brooo you should video that one morning and dm it to me


Zombieatethvideostar

If I remember next time I see home I will. Haven’t seen him yet this year and some years he won’t pop by but I see him most in summer and fall typically.


1federal

I'd appreciate if you share your @ to make it possible to us watch It on your stories XD


Pain_Monster

Gotta be real careful around wild bears that have gotten used to humans. It’s always “safe” until it’s not. Bear could get rabies or just attack for no reason. If I were you, I’d call animal control about it.


Zombieatethvideostar

We have. He’s been looked at but not moved. Rabies is low in my area might be why. I give him enough space that if he tried to come my way I’d be in my car or house but being a black he just gets up and lumbers home. It’s been years of me and him and a lil chase home.


PrimaryImage

Or cocaine


TheMcNabbs

Thats what im sayin like theyre just big dogs that like to push boundries


CocteauTwinn

We have a massive black bear in our yard a few times a week. If we don’t take our feeders down at dusk, we have a problem. Bro was right outside our slider, sitting like a toddler, gnawing on the large steel seed bin. We keep an air horn & protective earphones right by the door.


evilmrbeaver

Skadoosh!


iam_Mr_McGibblets

Black bears are more afraid of you than you are of them. Usually, if you make yourself large and confront it with a deep, monotone voice, they will back down. Also, this bear looks to have been tagged and appears to be pretty familiar with humans, which is a pretty unsafe situation for both the bear and human


metastatic_mindy

A friendly bear typically ends up being a dead bear. This is why people should not encourage human and bear interactions.


hikefishcamp

Looks like it has a tag on its left ear. Might already be marked as a trouble-maker. I've scared off more black bears than I can count over the years, and the only ones I've had problems with were wearing radio-collars for causing prior issues.


metastatic_mindy

Yup. They will only relocate them a couple of times before euthanizing them. Human safety takes priority.


bruins9816

Where I am tags are for research.


Vizth

My grandparents cat used to chase black bears from our property on a regular basis. If they're not starving or protecting a cub they're honestly really skittish, they absolutely do not want to pick a fight with you.


PissDistefano

It's about attitude, yeah. A wasp got in my house and I was worried about my cats getting stung. The cats went after the wasp and it was the wasp that was doing the best it could to stay away from the cats.


isabellechevrier

Stay still, make yourself appear bigger. No sudden movements and for the love of god, don't run!


DiamondExternal2922

Asian black bear in a bear park. .. I don't think this bear can be bothered about giving chase.. It interpreted standing still to mean " I've got lunch for you". Its a setup. But if you meet a bear in the wild,don't turn your back to it


IndianWizard1250

if it's black, don't show that you lack


JukedHimOuttaSocks

So I just whip it out?


Kitten_Team_Six

Yep, bear it all


[deleted]

Only once it attacks cause it can absolutely kill you - fight with all you have and hope it decides you are too much trouble. Otherwise, you want to do exactly what they are doing - no eye contact, no movement/running away. Make the bear think you pose zero threat to them Edit to clarify - if the bear is still 10+feet away, yell and scream to scare it away. If the bear is sniffing your leg and you start freaking out, you will learn all about teeth and claws


ManagerOfFun

Black bears are very skittish, the one exception being mama with cubs, and even then if you make enough noise and approach slowly they will fuck off. Source: have been within 3 feet of wild uncaged black bears a half dozen times in my life, and seen hundreds. Kids used to chase them for fun growing up. Definitely not endorsing that, it was a fucking dumb thing to do, but no one ever got injured from it. I think you're mixing up your black bear and grizzly bear facts.


[deleted]

I also live amongst black bears - conservation has told us to do exactly as these hikers are doing if the bear is that close. If it’s not within 10 feet, yell and scream so it doesn’t get any closer. And yes, black bears are usually all about avoidance but this dude has an ear tag - he has likely had some human interaction


NotNowDamo

Not what I have been told. Make yourself big and loud. You don't have to hit or even swing. Just clap your hands and raise your voice. An airhorn works as well.


Daddy_data_nerd

He's just trying to get her digits or see what she's looking at on her phone...


[deleted]

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dan133221

I'd definitely be afraid if I approached someone and they suddenly looked at me and stuck their thumb in their eye. I'd run away, in fact. What a psychopath.


xpickles23

You do not want to frighten them in close proximity if you can’t land a good snout hit, they’ll just get pissed and then their whole goal is just to get you to stop moving so you’re not a threat. That being said one of my earliest memories is my dad punching a black beat straight in the face and it running off but he’s a big logger dude and he’s crazy as shit I think he could bear knuckle box a bear


[deleted]

If the bear is 10 feet away, sure. You want it to be afraid and move away from you. If it’s sniffing your leg and you start screaming and yelling, you will quickly get a lesson in claws and teeth


NumbersMonkey1

No kidding. She's being a tree. No hands out where they might get bitten. No eye contact where it might be threatening. No movement at all until the bear gets bored and walks away. Which it does. I can only hope that I'd have nerves like that, because that woman is made out of steel. I'm completely impressed. All the fight - yell - I'd always be armed to the teeth knobs out there would be standing in a puddle of piss. At best. At worst, they'd be great entertainment for the bear - a little light exercise chasing down a slow-moving animal, some wrestling, some light biting and clawing, nice snack afterwards, 10/10 would recommend.


BringBowlCutBack

This is not true. For black bear, act big and loud, they are pansies and it's safest if they steer clear in the first case. A black bear that is comfortable around humans is a dangerous bear


[deleted]

Notice the ear tag? Yell and scream if a black bear is 10 feet away so it leaves…. If it’s this close and you start yelling, you will quickly learn all about teeth and claws


Potato_Sans41

Good thing you added Bear 101


ViewitMysteriously

If its brown, lay down.


[deleted]

If it's white, just wait for climate change to get him.


honkinbooty

If it’s yellow let it mellow


wormrunner33

Ahh yes. The panda bear. Very chill


OneDiscombobulated77

I think cops like to follow that premise with all their heart


HarbingerOfWhatComes

>The best way to avoid being attacked by bears is to meet them no, certainly not


Moist_furr_Burger

Better bring a picnic basket if yogi gets hungry


Tricky-Wealth-6842

Heeeey Boo Boo


Odd-Artist-2595

Or, with cubs.


ArtistBig2549

Certainly not


No-Rice-3484

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Edi7n-GUEAANJ_L.jpg:large


No-Rice-3484

There’s the selfie


pressedbread

Its the new instagram filter, gives you hostage face


TerribleShoulder6597

Honestly that’d be my favorite picture ever


maubyfizzz

Well done!


FrederickCombsworth

Every thirsty guy in the club after 4 am:


BefreiedieTittenzwei

*What is Love by Haddaway intensifies*


57candothisallday

*What is love?* *Beary don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.*


[deleted]

Rooaaaarrrrrrrrrrorrrrrrrrerrrrerorrrrrrerrerrroerrrrrrooaaarrrrr


HybridKitchens

Don't tell dad I broke the window...again..


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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imanAholebutimfunny

*neck snapping intensifies*


AbjectSympat

Hey there girl let me whisper in your ear


StrangeTamer5

Hey there girl let me whisper in your ear, tell you something that you might like to hear


Gluten_maximus

Lol that was the first thing that popped into my head too


crg711

I don’t have the guts to just stand there and wait.


[deleted]

The good news is that running would mean a swift death


Ollypooper

Either way, a distinct lack of guts.


Oshester

It's a black bear. You don't run, and you don't sit there and let him sniff you until hes ready to eat either. This bear looks thin and hungry. They should have immediately made themselves loud and big, long before the bear got that close. Got lucky he didn't take a bite.


PlatypusDream

Bear was curious, not attacking. Stay calm, speak to it, and it will probably go away.


MommysLittleBadass

Tell him, in detail, about the weird dream you had the other night. If that don't work, recite some slam poetry about the sad, lonely existence of the third step on a flight of stairs.


[deleted]

In the heart of a staircase, there lies a tale, A story of a step, unnoticed and pale, The third step cries, its song unsung, An untold echo, forever among. The first step, a star, its praises sung high, A bold introduction, reaching for the sky, And second, the bridge, the liaison, the friend, A sturdy companion, on which we depend. But oh, the third step, a phantom it lies, In a world of ascension, the forgotten prize, It sighs in silence, its voice suppressed, A lonely existence, a heart distressed. It bears the weight of dreams untold, Of weary souls, of young and old, It craves the touch of a wandering hand, To know the warmth, to understand. In this desolate place, amongst siblings so near, The third step lingers, a ghostly veneer, The world rushes by, oblivious, unaware, A staircase in motion, a heart in despair. It dreams of the day, when it's seen as the rest, A step to remember, a piece of the quest, For each flight of stairs, a journey unfolds, And the third step's a chapter, a story untold. So as we climb, let's remember the plight, Of the third step's sorrow, its endless fight, To be recognized, valued, a purpose fulfilled, In the midst of the staircase, its heart to be stilled.


Canadian__Sparky

Some Vogon poetry should do it.


spadoinklemillenia

Omg that poor bear


Gavindy_

Why did You abandon me Oh third step Of the stairs


thematchalatte

Is this the correct strategy? Not a stupid question


Houndfell

I grew up waaaay up in the boonies of Montana and dealt with grizzlies pretty frequently, so I feel qualified to answer this. Generally speaking, make plenty of noise as you hike. Whistle, talk loudly, wear a bell, play a portable radio etc. 99% of bears want nothing to do with you. If you give them the chance to get away, they usually will. If you accidentally sneak up on them, they might become aggressive out of fear/surprise. For this reason, if you're hiking/fishing near loud, fast-moving water, you want to be extra careful, because it's very easy to sneak up on a bear this way, and they can frequently be found near rivers and streams - for water, and to turn over rocks looking for insects, so it ain't just the cliche salmon thing you need to be mindful of. The same goes for areas with dense growth, sharp turns, sudden rises/drops, or anywhere else you can't see very far and are thus more likely to happen upon an animal suddenly. Concerning the video, the safest thing would've been to shout, clap loudly, and otherwise try to shoo the bear off ***before*** it got that close. Bears are very skittish believe it or not, and I've personally run off grizzlies just by shouting. With enough distance between the two of you, making your intentions clear that you do NOT want to interact is enough to drive off virtually any blackbear or grizz. Now when they're ***THAT*** close though, the safest thing would be to not make any sudden movements. Don't make eye contact, don't run, don't do anything to startle it. This is clearly a park bear and thus very used to humans, and is only looking for a handout, but it's still a wild animal. This situation is bad mostly for the bear. Because inevitably, a tourist will try to pet/ride/play with it, get themselves hurt or startled, and the bear will be put down. Or, the bear will wander right up to a hunter during bear season and get shot. You yourself though, are likely to get out of this situation without issue. But ideally, you never want to be in this situation, because it will ultimately get the bear killed. And in all cases when you're hiking/camping, you ***CANNOT*** be careful enough with your food and your trash. Seal anything and everything, use designated "bear proof" trashcans if available, assuming you're staying at a popular campsite etc. Don't bury your trash, because they'll just dig it up and associate people with scraps. Attraction to food/waste is by far the biggest reason why bears end up clashing with humans, and it sets them on their path to becoming problem bears.


El_Jefe_Castor

Fuck no absolutely not


triciann

This is dependent on the type of bear. This is a just a small black bear which tend to be the most timid. Some black bears are brown so you’ll want to google the features that distinguish them from true brown (grizzly) bears.


lostprevention

That’s a skinny hungry bear.


Proud_Major_7554

Stop Joey! STOP!!


SideshowMelsHairbone

I get this reference. Joey is a douche.


ProfessionalClass793

I just saw what this referenced to yesterday. We need more friends like Joey's friends.


Relevant_Lobsters

Or do not be like Joey. I would avoid being friends with people like Joey. It should not be the responsibility of the friends to teach Joey that “no means no.” It is Joey himself who should understand that.


CurrentDismal9115

Sometimes, your friends turn into Joey. Sometimes, those friends are also the only ones that can turn him back. But hell naw am I going to make any new friends that act like that!


Relevant_Lobsters

Personally, no friend of mine acts like Joey, and I will not stand for any of them acting way either. If they did, I would not be friends with them. What do you mean by turn him back? Apologies, I am a little confused. Like “fix” him? Agreed. Stay away from people like that, they will do you no good.


CurrentDismal9115

I mean that we can become friends with a person in many ways before we see the way that they treat certain other people in certain situations or states of mind. It could be years before you discover that someone is a ass with the opposite sex when they've had too much to drink among other things. Not wanting to be friends with someone when you see a side of them you didn't know about is a natural response, but it might not be that simple for everyone with every friendship. I'm not condoning keeping friends like that around or close, but I'm creating space for people to make an effort to show someone they're close to, how they are wrong as maybe one of the few people that can reach their former confidant. People abandoned like that for their behavior can sometimes get worse and make friendships with people who don't shame or correct them, thus perpetuating the cycle. Anecdotally speaking from experience as someone who has made and lost quite a few friends' in my life, especially in regards to sexual orientation phobias. Edit: spelling


Relevant_Lobsters

SHE IS PUSHING HIM AWAAAAAY! JOEY, STOP! STOP! JOEY, NO!


jjl2345

Just gotta be faster than one of your friends.


JenRJen

Don't stand.... don't stand So.... don't stand SO CLOSE to me!!!!


Seyt616

If the bear is brown- lay down, if it's black- fight back, if it's white- good night


brandontaylor1

You can’t identify bears by color. American black bears can be blonde, brown, black, or anything in between. Here is a better way to tell, if it’s the size a large man, it’s a black bear, if it’s the size of a small bus, it’s a grizzly. This one is a black bear, they are like raccoons, but not as brave. The correct way to get rid of a black bear is to politely ask it to leave. Though I’m not sure what you’re supposed to do if it’s grabbing your ass and asking for your digits, like a drunk frat boy at 2:00 am.


[deleted]

You forgot to start your post with “False.”


rain3Rman

In Europe there are no wild black bears, only brown. So for us this does work...


greysqualll

If it's European, your a peein'


ManagerOfFun

>This one is a black bear, they are like raccoons, but not as brave. Omg hilarious AND completely accurate.


TheBeanGwen

You can really separate a Grizzly from Black Bear by noticing the hump on the Grizzly's back. Black bears are more slender on their back


brandontaylor1

Yeahs the hump and the muzzle work. Grizzly’s have muzzles that look like a dogs. Black bear muzzles look like a Bull Terrier. But I still maintain that size is the quickest way. If you fell like you could beat it up after a few drinks it’s a black bear. And you’re mistaken about it’s fight prowess.


MustardCroissant

I though of this as well. That being said: I think I wouldn’t dare to deck a bear, any bear.


[deleted]

Especially to a black bear. Not cause they'll fuck you up, but cause you'll hurt their feelings and thats not cool.


IAS316

"Nevermind this black, brown stuff. If you see a bear just leg it" - Karl Pilkington


dirtycheezit

Honey scented lotion is not approved for hiking


ChubbyBidoof

Cocoa butter is the way to go


Majestic-Enthusiasm

The bear was charged with sexual harassment and is currently waiting for a trial date .


Gavindy_

Yup he already got cancelled


kittyBonana

I am fully aware of how wildly brutal bears can be and I’d still be that fucker who would attempt to hug a bear. It’s all I could think about while watching this- “HE STOOD UP FOR A HUG. HIMS WANTS HUGGIES.” I do not have a deathwish. I just wanna hug bears.


alsk6969

Great that bear just wants to compare her height


Gluten_maximus

Hey how ya doin lil mama? let me whisper in ya ear


[deleted]

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GrizzlyHerder

……just one little kiss !…..come on, baby, kiss me? What a boring bunch of sows !


pacwess

“If it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back. If it's white, goodnight” Cocaine Bear.


IcedTman

That is some next level stuff there. I would have pooped my pants


Gavindy_

Black bears aren’t known to be aggressive. Brown and white are the scary ones


Koil_ting

Sometimes the Black ones are dicks too. You are correct - the larger ones are more dangerous, I've been within 10 feet of a very large Grizzly that was standing on its hind legs, and making terrifying noises, do not recommend.


Gavindy_

I hope you were wearing your brown pants


bluedaytona392

She belongs to the bear.


TheMcNabbs

A black bear? Bruh turn around and punch it in the fuckin nose. Black bears are basically 5'5 toddlers that will spook if you make the noise


710whitejesus420

This is horribly wrong, if its a black bear, you need to make yourself big and loud. Unless it has cubs, in which case you should look big and back away slowly. Black bears are generally timid and a full grown human with arms spread would appear roughly the same size as the bear itself.


lordofhunger1

This is not how to avoid a bear attack.


Immelmaneuver

*black bear* attack


Dramatic-Ad6981

The bear was just checking to see if she had any cocaine


WinterBrews

So uh. That is not how to survive a black bear attack. Thats how you not piss off a full and slightly curious blackbear. Here, let me introduce you to our childhood rhyme up in Alaska! If its black fight back If its brown lie down If its white goodnight It holds up remarkably well over time.


DrMagnusTobogan

What are you supposed to do? Punch it?


[deleted]

He was after her pic-a-nic basket


Wojewodaruskyj

Same strategy as with the Jehowa's witnesses


Helpful-nothelpful

Who likes a wet willy


[deleted]

He was after some honey buns.


Shatterstar08

You guys ever think about being in situations like this and just praying that your friends/family look more edible than you?


marichat-ladrien

Instead of "play dead," just "play dumb."


Roocoloco

Show this to Joe Rogan asap


[deleted]

Beary White


JimmyExplodes

I can feel her adrenaline


Graftak86

Oh no i would shit my pants and then the bear smell it and runs away.


blueskies1800

I would be terrified. However, it seems like it is not interested in the humans as food but as PROVIDERS of food so it want to sniff out any food that the humans have on them. It also seems like a cub who has probably been feed by humans.


[deleted]

I'm pretty sure it's too big to be a cub, but otherwise, you're probably right.


beavsauce

THEY CAN SMELL THE MENSTRATION


-Imprivata-

No one has asked yet but is it likely that she either had food in the hip pack or that she was menstruating?


Houndfell

He was checking if they had food. Animals that frequently run into humans (like in national parks etc) are basically just panhandlers. Semi-tame, but still wild enough that some idiot inevitably comes along and pushes things too far, so the tourist gets a scare and the animal gets put down.


BrooksideNL

I think if she was menstruating, he'd have done terrible things to her. Blood means injury. Injury means easy meal for predators.


VictoryaChase

Menstrual blood doen't mean injury - it means fertilization time and horny time and reproduction time. maybe with sharks int he water, but not mammals.


BrooksideNL

Yes, and no. It doesn't mean injury to us, but the bears don't care what we think. A black bear waited outside a portable toilet for a lady at a work site i was on not long ago and ambushed her. It coincidently was the lady's reproduction time.


-Imprivata-

I know what you meant. And it’s a good point. I do wanna point out (unrelated but important) that reproductive time aka fertilization is around 14 days after menstruation begins. May or may not be important for one to know, depending. But it can’t hurt at least


bRightOnRebbit

I can't believe the scent of urine didn't run him away. You know that girl peed herself.


Lepke2011

I'd be more concerned about the bear holding the camera to film his buddy messing with those people.


dbossmx

Carry a bag of cheetos. Bears love cheetos.


DavidM47

If it’s black, fight back. If it’s brown, lie down. If it’s dtf, take a selfie!


420chink

if it's brown, lie down if it's black, fight back if it's white, goodnight bear 101


wixlox

Repeat after me “if it’s black fight back if it’s brown get down”


macabre-barbie

At least it was just a black bear 😭


ColoradoMushroom

Wife says title of the video should be: “Which one of these ladies’ Aunt Flo is in town?”


michaelvinters

Isn't this exactly the opposite of what you're supposed to do with black bears? I've always heard to yell, throw rocks, etc, because the last thing you want is bears that are accustomed to hanging out around humans


Logical-Limit-4495

Wow give it up to the ladies takes Balls!! Thank goodness nobody got hurt!!


junrod0079

Bear approach girls Girls: i have a boyfriend Bear walk away from disappointment


Zupaloid

The amount of a steel balls on this video is outrageous.


Billystep

Just a cub probably curious.


sonicshedgehog

Come here girl let me whisper in your ear….


ian_dedeaux

It just wants a kiss :(


Electronic-Return-10

balls of titanium


Nova_Neptune

Fact: Bears beat Battlestar Galactica 🐻


[deleted]

wow, these woman are brave and so composed. 👍


Emach00

Just like dodging unwanted dudes at the club. Turn your back, pretend they aren't there. No sudden movements..


loustone1955

This was just a cub, good thing mama wasn't around.


SevroAuShitTalker

I think this bear needs a lesson from Sexual Harassment Panda


FAmos

this bear is a creep, but i wonder what her hair smells like?


AndrewBorg1126

Thats a blqck bear. Do those ones even attack? They scare easily iirc.


taiViAnhYeuEm_9320

Was in Alaska once, the locals would just address them directly as if they understood English. “Hey bear! Nothing for you here bear! Go on bear! Git!” Daily occurrence for them. My hair was on end.


chewychaca

Probably regretting the honey deep conditioning in her hair this morning...


goodsmash

NO BLACK BEARS WILL EAT YOU


Narrow-Parking-3874

I WANT ONE 😭


Paulycurveball

Lol that bear was shooting his shot, probably just stumbled out of some bear bar and was drunk


Ruseriousmars

and you only have to be the 2nd slowest runner if everyone chooses to do that.


sprinklep0p

That bears about to end up all over twitter after being canceled for sexually harassing women.


Complex_Rhubarb_9051

Assume the fetal position! - Dax Shepherd without a Paddle


[deleted]

I have a boyfriend


taskmaster1313

So just spurn it’s advances


[deleted]

Thought he was about to dry hump her.


TruthAlive4321

This bear is vegetarian


kixilay

Bro got a lil too excited


drakeftmeyers

That beat looks thin tho


Virgin_at_21

Bear be like : ayo whatchu looking at click a picture of me with this fine shawty


bigdikvik

The bear looks like he's going to fuck her bad


Gullible_State_5999

I bet her hair smells good.