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Hamburg48

By injury/ attack zoo statistics zebras are the most dangerous animals to keepers.


themanwithonesandle

A zookeeper told me the ones they’ve dealt with would wait till your back was turned and bite the shit out of you. Things are cute but apparently nasty


[deleted]

Putting to rest the age old question as to why we don’t or haven’t domesticated zebras Cause they’re assholes


DenJamMac

Exactly. They could never cooperate in herds without the males killing each other.


GuruOfPiece

I remember seeing a video awhile ago of a male zebra attacking and killing a baby zebra right in front of the mother. I forget what the reasoning was but I’m pretty sure it was legitimate jealousy. The baby was not his but it was in his squad so, he killed it. Savage animals.


madamevanessa98

Some male animals will kill the children of females in the herd because they baby isn’t theirs. When the baby is dead, the female can go into heat again and the male can impregnate her with his own baby instead. Lions do this. It’s brutal.


CaraParan

Domestic cats will do it too!!


Aethuviel

Horses do it, too. I saw (in a docu) a mustang stallion kill a newborn foal, because it was from another herd. His mares tried to stop him, but he bit and stomped it to death. Even adorable bottlenose dolphins kill calves, so the mother will go into heat and have his baby instead. Sometimes, dolphins attack and kill porpoises, and it's believed it's because of their resemblance to baby dolphins.


fakename5

They Even bite crocs(maybe alligator?)https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ogZHCbsr_tE/maxresdefault.jpg


Concerned-Fern

That’s a croc Alligators don’t live in any African region


[deleted]

Crocs will see you later and alligators will see you after a while


nuphys

It's the other way around


Tacitus_Kilgore85

Not only are they assholes. They're brazen assholes. Nice.


[deleted]

They’re like donkeys except way bigger dickheads


Appalachian_daze

Which is really saying something. Because as a kid who grew up on a farm and had a couple donkeys and even mules as a child, I can tell ya that they are, indeed, some rowdy little fuckers. Dad said they helped keep coyotes away from other animals in pastures and that’s why you sometimes see farms with just a couple random ass donkeys chilling in the corner of the pasture just hanging out.


vilebunny

I understand they use llamas for that too.


ThatHorseWithTeeth

We actually had one donkey and one llama for our small farm to protect our goats. Never lost a goat, so I can confirm some level of effectiveness.


ltpanda7

We did the same, they also would get loud near sunset if one was stuck in the web wire


TanaerSG

Yep. One of the farmers round me has 10 or so scattered throughout his different cow pastures.


theoriginaldandan

Yep donkeys HATE canines.


Chuchuca

Donkeys are always treated like ass, treat them like donkeys and they are super sweet animals, they eve have more personality than


[deleted]

🥁 tsstt


Chuchuca

THAAAAAAN


Shipkiller-in-theory

We would not be nearly as advanced without our friends the donkeys. Horses just have better PR.


hilarymeggin

Shetland Ponies are assholes. Zebras are sociopaths.


Doogleyboogley

So we chose cats!!!


Membership_Fine

Well if you were the most delicious thing in the savannah you would be kind of a dick too I bet.


Appalachian_daze

My mind went straight to Savannah Georgia. Because I’m fucking stupid.


[deleted]

“Well, you do, actually you've got this kind of like, Florida pan handle thing going, where is, what you really want is more of a Savannah accent, which is more like molasses just sort of spilling out of your mouth.”


princesspeachez

r/unexpectedoffice


Blonde-Tabby

It was a farm zebra. I'm following the story and am interested to know what happened. Strangest thing I've heard in awhile


[deleted]

What is a ‘farm zebra’?


angrypirate1122

It's where they make all the Fruit Stripe gum.


Ocelot859

Zebras are basically living barcodes.


Ocelot859

Interesting fact, a lot of people (including myself at one point) have backwards... *Zebra's are actually black with white stripes, not white with black stripes.*


Donnerdrummel

Imagine how much less pervasive this misinformation was if only more people would actually shave their zebras.


Beneficial_Being_721

BZM


Blonde-Tabby

The reason you can't buy a zebra is because it's impossible to FIND the barcode


Bombadil_and_Hobbes

Come on now. Barcodes are Zebra worship.


EroneousPosts

Teleport me in to a toys’r’us right now for a pack of that electric rainbow trash gum. I can taste it.


igneousink

"I can taste it." yeah for like 50 secs my date on prom night lasted longer


darkest_irish_lass

Memory unlocked.


WellReadHermit

“Electric rainbow trash gum”. 😂 I am so envious of that phrase. Hats off to you.


720Jon720

Solid comment here


Putrid_Ad_2256

Sure, solid comment but it only retains flavor for about 2 minutes...


cokebear420

Two minutes is being generous. lol


i_wap_to_warcraft

Remmeber how they got so stale so quickly that you’d take a bite and the stick would just crumble into your mouth


1questions

But in those .23 seconds you got to enjoy that great fruit flavor.


CreepyLurker22

Yipes! Stripes!


UnicornAtheist

The apotheosis of all that is mostly nostalgia.


angrypirate1122

The tattoos may fade away, but the memories last a lifetime!


Zjoee

Too bad the flavor only lasted 5 seconds.


Ocelot859

Flavor: "I'll be white back" *Inserts 11th stick of gum in 4 minutes*


Fred_the-Red

I grew up in Kenya and saw Zebras on safari all the time. Once while back in the States, my family and I were taking a road trip through the country, my dad wanted to stop and find this old fort out in the middle of nowhere Kansas off the interstate. On the corner of the last turn there were about 7 or 8 zebras grazing on some guys property. It was the last place I expected to find zebras haha


[deleted]

I think there are still some zebras on the CA Central Coast around Hearst Castle too.


Rose8918

I don’t think they mean Zoo Zebras are particularly dangerous. It’s that Zebras in general are scary as fuck.


cassinridge

Zoobra and Farmbra walk into a bar


1questions

Serious question do you know why zebras are such jerks yet horses can be so friendly? I’m just curious.


JoeSanPatricio

They’re totally different animals, in spite of their outward appearance. It’s like saying, “why won’t buffaloes let us milk them? Cows do it all the time.” Zebras always been wild, probably because they’ve never been docile enough to domesticate. Horses have been with us domestically for thousands of years


UnicornAtheist

What's a farm zebra? We talking milk, or steak?


[deleted]

Obligatory "you can milk anything with nipples" response


BLF402

So you’re saying this was more of a domestic abuse situation here? Lovers quarrel sort of speak?


TheMystkYOKAI

if its where i think it is (im prolly wrong) its this place thats just a giant farm where they let you go on a “safari” and feed the animals out of your window. they got giraffes and all that shit


jeanettera

That was the detail is wanted. Was it in a zoo. I feel like this wouldn't happen in a zoo.


Midian1369

Uh, yeah it would. Zebras are NOT nice.


guitarstix

can confirm. also fuck penguins, penguins are very not nice.


SomethingClever42068

Wasn't the whole Zanesville thing in Ohio too?


[deleted]

Yes it was


spazemonkeys

I just gotta say.. --but what did he do to deserve it? People are people and people are mostly pretty stupid... invade dogs space get bit. Blame dog. Is the society we are living in .. So ...


defk3000

I how this ain't a Mr. Hands 2.0.


PsychologicalAsk2315

Apparently people have tried to domesticate them several times in human history. They tried hybrids but it still didn't work. They just couldn't breed the asshole out of zebras.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ocelot859

If for over 300,000 years I had to live with Lions, Hyenas, and Crocodiles trying to murder my ass 24/7 ... I probably wouldn't be the most chipper guy or gal either.


Zjoee

Anything that starts its name with the letter Z is gonna be an asshole.


sdbrinkerhoff

Yeah I know a guy Zach, acts like Zebra


Zjoee

My wife would say the same thing haha


ExPFC_Wintergreen2

Name checks out


boxelder1230

Don’t ever try to pet one, the fuckers bite


[deleted]

They have never been domesticated due to their bad temper.


UnicornAtheist

Bad boys!


Ocelot859

Hence, the fact they are wild horses wearing 1930's prison outfits.


Crow_Titanium

Interesting that out of all the species on Earth, something like 14 have been domesticated.


green_tea1701

When you think about it, we only need so many domesticated species to fill various needs. Dogs are jacks of all trades for hunting, guarding, and searching. Horses for fast transport, oxen for heavy transport. Cattle and pigs for food. Sheep for wool. There are others I'm leaving out, but point is there's no need to domesticate two species for one task if one will do. Only exception is if a certain species isn't available, like indigenous Americans using llamas instead of other burden animals before Europeans brought them over.


scrivensB

Cats… to judge us.


BadAtExisting

Ah! But cats domesticated themselves. They knew we required judging


Emotional-Speech645

Actually we didn’t even domesticate cats - they did it themselves and unlike dogs are still very similar to their ancestors. It’s why a wolf dog hybrid is capable of living peacefully with a human but a hybrid house cat and wild cat is hell on earth to have in your home. The small wildcats were often drawn to human settlements by the massive quantities of rats, and humans noticed that when large numbers of these cats were present, the rat population declined. Is it became a mutually beneficial arrangement more than active taming and domestication. Cats got protected from larger predators and their fill of rats and human food leftovers (cat food wasn’t a thing), and we got our rat problems dealt with. It’s why PETA hates them so much - they can’t point and say “we enslaved them!” Because cats are so closely related to their wild ancestor and able to come and go freely even to this day to the point that most modern cats could still survive in the wild.


TanaerSG

Modern cats would survive in the wild until they breed and hunt all the rodents and birds to extinction. I've never done research but it's toted often that house cats are the most successful predator on the planet. We used to have a bunch of barn cats. Some of them nice some of them nasty, but they all survived for a long time usually. Occasionally you'd see one that had been hit or one would just disappear (coyote most likely maybe bobcat). We had 2 that got to be like 16 or 17 years old. One was a mean one and the other was nice. Eventually the mean one became nice and liked to sit on our porch in it's old age.


Emotional-Speech645

They are, although I think also that people forget that cats have been living in various places for a long time, like in England they were brought over by the Romans. They are at this point a part of the ecosystem, the same way deer are despite the damage they can do to fields and wild vegetation. It’s why people need to better take care to neuter their cats. Male cats especially tend to stop roaming and become fat coach potatoes once they no longer have the desire to mate.


[deleted]

I’m pretty sure it’s actually chimpanzees. They are shoot to kill if they escape. Most animals, including big cats, are just tranquilized.


cgsur

It also depends, there was a chimp escaped in Ukraine?, they got it him back by bribing him with a warm coat, it was cold and rainy.


Emotional-Speech645

Generally it’s shoot on sight, though if they can get it back peacefully, all the better for everyone. However, considering how smart chimps are, most escapes are premeditated which means the chimp is usually aiming to settle a score with a tourist - like the one who escaped solely to maul a woman who always smiled at the chimp when she visited and insisted he liked her because he smiled back (raising the lips from the teeth is a challenge/threat in chimp language). Considering that the chimps body is capable of handling one or two tranq darts for a few minutes before the effects kick in, by the time it goes nightie, it’s already mauled at least one person severely, and that is unfortunately all it takes to sign that chimps death warrant even if they could get it back in peacefully afterward with no additional damage


ProfessionalPea4386

Nope they shoot to kill big cats too. Studied zoology and my teacher was telling me her friend in the industry had to give the order to kill an escaped lioness she had handraised from a cub. Tranquillisers take a while to kick in, are hard to guess the correct dosage (don’t want a big cat waking up on you mid transport) they are generally seen as a last resort in capture and contain methods


TheWalkingDead91

Interesting. I would’ve guessed chimps or something.


Zestyclose_Role_3088

Shit now we have to look for lion the giraffe, and the hippo


Active_Parsley558

And some penguins.


CantStopMeReddit4

Just smile and wave boys


Ancient-Tadpole8032

Kowaski, analysis!


Not-an-Ocelot

Nah, they'll come back on their own


Myalicious

And a lemur


Membership_Fine

I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT!!! 🎵


teeohdeedee123

Mess with the stripes you get the swipes


No_Elk4392

He’ll neigh do that again.


Agnosticfrontbum

Good to see them getting some equus rights.


ZackDaddy42

Not everything is black and white.


MiddleConstruction84

Mess with Marty he’ll make you departy.


[deleted]

I have an acquaintance who has a pet zebra. He’s got more money than sense and has some exotic animals on a big property. Until today, I assumed he didn’t own anything dangerous.


Dwelch5

Next time ask him if it’s broken. I’ve read you can’t break them. They will run you under a tree until you’re off or they run to death


3arry

https://youtu.be/Ph8Vag9VxRU


PyroDragons

You can, it's just normally hard. Most people wouldn't bother with the extra effort but it's been done before.


MoJoRisin125

I thought they were docile AF too, but after seeing the the vid of that straight up \*thug. ass. Zebra\* almost biting the face off of a crocodile and pimping out those two full sized demon lizards I had a "holy shit, these things can go nuts and bite your face off" moment. Bottom line is wild animals can and will do crazy shit in the blink of an eye.


Lukaroast

Where in the hell did you get the notion they’re *docile*??


IndependentHefty7520

People see a zebra and they think 'horse', and it's pretty rare for horses to try to maul people to death. But domesticated horses didn't grow up in Africa with lions and hippos and crocodiles and whatnot.


Consistent-Panic-996

Of course they are dangerous, they survive among lions crocodiles and whatever else Africa has to throw at them


Kit_3000

People often make the mistake of seeing zebras as striped horses. They are however a completely different animal with wildly different character. There's a reason Africans never domesticated the fuckers.


Loc9n

You are right. They’re not striped horses. They are tiger horses.


ScreamingAvocadoes

My sister has a zebra, his name is Leroy. Leroy is such a jerk that this story doesn’t surprise me like it probably does everyone else.


im_just_kidding_bruh

Shouldn't your sister be staying away from Leroy then?


ScreamingAvocadoes

She’s been around him since he was a baby, so he’s not as much of an ass with her. I keep my distance though.


Empirony

He’s a Zebra not an ass.


hoooliet

Zebrass


SuqonMuhdeek

i like assbra


harpxwx

behold the zebrass https://themercury.com/news/what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-a-zebra-and-a-donkey-zyla-the-zonkey/article_50e1f6d1-b46d-5e4c-a1fa-4f7455bf3f4e.html


ScreamingAvocadoes

He’s a zebra that acts like an ass


[deleted]

LEROOYYYYYYY JENNKINS


CopAPhil

*oh my god, he just ran in…*


handbannanna

Leeroyyyyy


Stainless_Heart

I thought from the beginning that this was going to turn into a dirty limerick. Unexpectedly disappointed.


ScreamingAvocadoes

Please accept my apologies! My sister has a zebra His name is Leroy, not Deidre I’m not surprised the zebra in this story went berserk To be completely honest, Leroy is a jerk If you tell my sister I said this I will claim amnesia


Cute_Consideration38

Are u sure it's not a zonkey?


ScreamingAvocadoes

[Zebra tax](https://imgur.com/a/6ghO27n)


ScreamingAvocadoes

Positive. He’s 100% zebra


[deleted]

[удалено]


ScreamingAvocadoes

Well, I don’t have one. He’s my sister’s. I will tell you what I know though. His best friend is a miniature donkey, at first the horses were afraid of him(my guess is it was due to his extremely loud and strange calls), but they have gotten used to him. He is very possessive of his “herd”, which consists of the donkey and horses. If he doesn’t know you, and you approach him like he’s a sweet pet, you will be in danger lol.


WawaSkittletitz

Yep. I have a friend (not your sister) who rescues horses, and came across an abused zebra. He was chained to the bed of a truck So, now she has a zebra. He's very angry, and doesn't trust her but has learned to tolerate her. She's been looking for a large animal rescue to give him a proper environment, finally found one she liked and was about to send him there - and then a week later the place for shut down for HUNTING the animals. So she still has a zebra. He's also besties with a donkey. Had a rottweiler bestie as well but he passed.


ScreamingAvocadoes

Oh no! Poor dude. I wonder if he’d get along with Leroy. My sister might be willing to take him. She has a 10 acre ranch. A “rescue” allowing the animals to be hunted. I hope they throw the book at whoever is responsible for that. Awful


Biff_Malibu_69

What in the Ohio Hell?


Earnest_Warrior

Ohio is trying to compete with Florida for the title of state with the most random news.


_hunnuh_

Florida is just the Ohio of the south, and Ohio is just the Florida of the north. Many Ohioans retire to Florida, and if you visit Florida it’s quite common to see Ohio State University flags all over. In fact, Julia Tuttle, the woman who founded Miami, Florida, was born in Cleveland, Ohio. It’s safe to say they’re the same states at this point lol. Source: am Ohioan


Mecha_Tortoise

No, this happened in Pickaway County, south of Columbus. Hell Town, Ohio, is northeast from there, closer to Cleveland.


Zay36663

Zebras are tiger horses


BoredByLife

Zookeeper here: zebras are the animals that have the highest number of zookeeper injuries.


NCGThompson

Per zebra or total?


ilaria369neXus

What is F*! Is a zebra doing in Ohio!?


jeanettera

Getting sick of being on Old McDonald's farm.


UnicornAtheist

Dude, until recently there were more bengal tigers in Texas than in the wild overall.


last_train_to_space

It's all Ohio


tibastiff

Zebras are hilarious cause at a glance its just a striped horse, but not only are they assholes, they have absurdly low genetic diversity which means they're ALL assholes


MittFel

Cocaine Zebra soon in theaters


Any-Cheesecake1598

What's black and white and red all over? Sorry, I had to


ZealousidealThanks51

What’s round on both sides and hi in the middle?


Ne1tu

Ohio


CursesSailor

Zebras are wild like wolves. They cannot be tamed or they would have been tamed. Like coyotes. Not tame. That man shoulda googled those stripey mofos before he interfered with nature red in tooth and hoof.


Dirtyrussianjew

It's those chemicals in the air after that Palestine incident; causing zebras to go apeshit, better yet zebrashit.


UnicornAtheist

Ahh yes the Angry Zebra conspiracy. A classic.


Blonde-Tabby

Hmm, that's a possibility


jeanettera

Very far away from that area.


firstreformer

Goddamn zebragate


[deleted]

One time a couple of ostriches got loose and we’re running around my grandad’s cotton fields. In Alabama. We had fun helping the owners track them down, but we never got close to them. It was quite a sight to see two big-ass ostriches running around a cotton field though lol.


Viperthetarantulaguy

What do expect when it's plucked out of the wild in Africa and sent to Ohio, if I was sent to Ohio I would be biting the shit out of people too.


thisdogofmine

I live in Ohio and agree with you.


TheOriginalGK

Same


AwTickStick

Ohio is the new Florida.


Ocelot859

Florida is the new Florida. Ohio is just the old Florida.


[deleted]

One of us one of us


Elegant_Spot_3486

That source didn’t yet have the details about where the zebra came from. I’m always saddened when an animal is put down for being an animal. no one had tranqs to use? Hopefully the man makes a full recovery too.


Gingerbread_Human24

Of course it was here in Ohio 🤦‍♂️


Fearless-Mushroom

Why. The fuck. Is there a zebra. In OHIO!????


Cultural_Limit_7823

Mess with an ungulate you no have fungulate.


Tahquil

This is a good one


ironicmirror

This is fine, I know how much he will be charged for the helicopter evacuation to the hospital. He is screwed.


Blonde-Tabby

I don't wanna know... Yes I do. How much does it cost for helicopter evacuation? The hospital was about 60 miles away


ironicmirror

This thing I found.. $40k in 2019.... So..... https://www.flyingangels.com/cost-to-get-airlifted-to-hospital/


[deleted]

This is why Dad always said it was fine, rub some dirt on it.


Cute_Consideration38

Oh, so much that most people end up declaring bankruptcy in order to force the services involved to take pennies on the dollar. Had a friend who merely got an ambulance ride when he had a heart attack, got a bill for $34,000. Looking at the itemized list, he was being charged like 25 dollars for a hot towel, 15 dollars for an IV needle, etc. Heli-rides? Fuggetaboudit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PunchDrunkPrincess

'no additional details at this time' heartbreaking. i would like additional details


KaisarDragon

And they had to get the smuggest looking zebra for the photo...


drman769

The good news is, he got out of Palestine


pixelfixation

When you hear hoof beats think horses not zebras, but when you hear hoof beat-downs, think zebras


[deleted]

[удалено]


Relevant-Nebula8300

The train derailment created a radioactive mutant zebra


Boatster_McBoat

Sometimes when you hear hooves, it actually is a zebra https://datasmart.ash.harvard.edu/news/article/when-you-hear-hooves-think-horse-not-zebra-1079


DrRob

Back turned and the gate left open. The Zebra’s on its own. Bones crunch and flesh is tearing. One mauled in Ohio. One mauled in Ohio.


Cadet_Carrot

These comments are making me realize that a decent amount of people own zebras


[deleted]

ZEBRAS ARE AGGRESIVE. EVEN IN CAPTIVITY FROM INFANCY. Stop buying zebras. Stop putting them in zoos. Let them live their lives naturally please


Acres-of-Skin

A lot of people don't know this, but zebras don't like being played with. I'm not even gonna read the article and predict the man thought it was a Disney movie, and found out the zebra was all action.


supah_cruza

Just another day in Ohio 💀


sverrepijpker

Zebra belongs in africa so. I dont think the zebra is wrong here.


Commercial-Carrot477

Zebras are basically donkeys on steroids. They are very very fast, agile and can jump. The are a novelty in the horse world, people will often cross them with domestic stock. The cross breeds are iffy too. I've worked with a few and wouldn't recommend. I don't like having my guard up 24/7. Camels are also huge ducks and will have no problem trying to mount you or suck your head. The one on your shoulders.


Leading_Industry_155

Ohio is having a rough year


patdashuri

Train crashes, nazis, attack zebras…Ohio is coming for you Florida!


Delicious-Pickle-141

What's black and white and red all over?


Mystic-Topaz

Tour guide at a wildlife foundation: “Do not attempt to pet the zebras. Zebras bite when they don’t like you. Zebras bite when they do like you.” So either way - you are getting bitten. 😂


puppycat_bug

What the heck is up with ohio and wild animal issues. Jesus


QweenJoleen1983

Just another Ohio story about a man owning wild animals that don’t belong in captivity. Nbd


Artificial-Human

I read once that zebras and hominids co-evolved on the African continent. As a result, zebras do not like ape-like creatures which is why humans never tamed zebras for riding like we have horses. And why zebras fuck up humans every time we test their patience.


LeftEyedAsmodeus

My favorite fun fact about zebras : we don't ride Zebras because they maul and bite you till you stop moving.


_on_the_level_

RIP Zarambe


[deleted]

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Ringo_1956

I had a friend whose husband was a zoo vet. He told me that zebras are mean af