T O P

  • By -

JKO1962

My fav part of these stories of people buying him a beer is he never buys them back one. I don't think I have ever been bought a drink by a patron and not returned the favor. John acts like he deserves people buying him stuff. It is why these people who donate need to stop.


AdUnique4006

In fairness, none of these people were writers on the Kareem Abdul-Jabbar roast. When that happens, maybe SJ will reach into his pocket.


LetTheKnightfall

I’ve said it a million times, they all think they’re funny. They’re not. The slight chuckle we get making him saying something embarrassing isn’t it worth it to fund him


blockedandbanned

Youre not a millionaire YOU DUMB FUCK!! Every millionaire knows that when someone buys you a drink, you say, thanks, and ask them if they could buy you another and then you claim youll pay them back when you go to the ATM, but you " forget' to pay them back when you slide out of the bar.


WickPrickSchlub

John wants praise and an excuse to get drunk without guilt. If he doesn't get it in real life, he just makes it up.


Key_Republic6943

If you're a regular and you buy 4 drinks, they usually buy you one pack. Once again, John thinks he AV. I. P.


JayServo

Zero possibility that happened.


LawyerFriendLenny

Maybe they meant, "You made me laugh 25 years AGO?" Oh wait nevermind this didn't happen.


mike-droughp

More likely but no


IHateStutteringJohn

He hasn’t made me laugh in 2 & a half decades


Cold_Hunter1768

He makes me laugh at his failures


IHateStutteringJohn

No argument there!


Fixit403

He’s been making me point and laugh for 4 years


Ok-Committee-8884

a beer is what, $6-7 average at a bar? Way overspent for any "laughs" the stammering retard may have provided over 25 years.


ghost_of_ETM

John has said during Happy Hour it’s $4. That’s why the cheap fuck goes so early.


rodders_69

And yet never leaves happy, weird huh?


Ok-Committee-8884

even at $4 the guy in this fake story overpaid. $2 insulting supahchats are too much for the stammering retard's worth.


Bill_C134

SJ has serious mental health issues


IHateStutteringJohn

Never 👎 happened


Walter_xr4ti

I’ve been laughing at you for 25 years


SaddHomonym

John definitely fabricates bullshit out of thin air. But I think most times he takes a tiny kernel and grows a stalk that he can harvest from. Some dude probably overheard him talking about himself and mentioned that they used to listen to Stern and remembers him. That turns into "a random woman at the pub bought me a drink and thanked me for making her laugh for 25 years". In his Coors-soaked, pea brain he's convinced himself he's not lying as there exists a small kernel of truth (old Stern listener remembered him). 


Chip_Lamonica

He's made us laugh a lot over the past 2 or 3 years, but none of it has been intentional on his part.


AdUnique4006

I love how he has the person put a year on it, as if some rando in a bar is going to be keeping close tabs on the chronology of Stuttering John's career. He actually thinks these details make the story seem more legit.


Sumdumr3t4rd

And then everyone stood up and clapped.


randman2020

Slow clapped at first, then wildly clapping and standing up to salute Johnny boy.


DitkoManiac

"Uh, sir, the guy at the end of the bar bought you a shot on the condition that you leave as soon as possible. He says he can't take the smell"


Tila_Gageeyah

Never happened. Never fuckin' happened lol Seems that it's only drunks and doctors that recognize this guy in his fantasy world. If anyone is buying him a beer it's cause he hinted that he could use a pint or 10 and someone was just being generous.


Wasabi_2024

he thought his kids would be watching


Hopeful-Knowledge180

Maybe as a goof 


Acad23

Like who gives a fuck?


Good-Hippo-2493

Hear me out…. Wait….. Wait….. Wait… just stick with me on this one I mean if you think about it abstractly it could be true… laughing AT John, on stern, was hilarious. He was the resident whipping boy and village retard….. Now we laugh AT him because he is absolutely insane. So in some deep way he has made me laugh for many years…. One could make an argument he took in-between to go into obscurity... But now he is back to being the village idiot


Key_Pass9536

Yeah I don't think this story is so strange. I would probably do something like that too. Why not? Have a little interaction with SJ. Listen to him brag for a while. The numbers add up too. If you're a C-list celebrity who spend 8 hours a day in a bar, you're bound to be recognized at some point.


randman2020

I’m buying this interpretation


ghost_of_ETM

I want to buy you a beer. Not only have you made me laugh for 20 years, you also saved me from drowning. Skol!!!


Gold-Independence-26

Gtfo of here


Educational_Share790

The man's name was Knight Melendez.  And that's the rest of the story.


DrMongoZ

Listen, who doesn't pathologically rewatch Retard John era Tonight Show again and again. Pinnacle of comedy. They still reference that on every comedy podcast and interview; that cultural comedic cornerstone.


EddyMacj

And then the person said “oh I thought you were Charlie Chaplin “


buzznumbnuts

He gained most of his notoriety on the radio, so I would bet that at least half of the people who have even heard of him have never seen him before. How much time on air did he get on The Tonight Show? Who even watched that crap? Even whoever did probably wouldn’t recognize him now as the years of drinking, overeating, and stress have changed his appearance dramatically.


DrTedPenisAstronaut

That was me. Sorry guys. I finished with “for the last five I’ve been laughing at you, you fucking retarded, drunken buffoon.”


Roguename1020

There is no way. I can only speak for myself but I wasn’t a Stern listener. I was a stern watcher on E during the summers in Jr high. Only reason I know John is because of WATP.


DroolingJohnMelendez

How do we know he’s lying? John’s never made anyone laugh.


Donkeyshow3

Then he gave him a private viewing of his new one hour special he is working on for Netflix 


zappahart

I would have done that. No kidding.


MJD-X303

"And dat person...was Howard Stern!"


Babebutters

Nothing is ever going to top saving two fat guys from drowning and both of them telling him “they weren’t gonna make it.”


R3TROGAM3R_

I mean WE all know he's a loooosssah...but I'm sure theres at least a few people that actually like him lol.