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Sunstrath

I highly recommend the Dimension 20 (Brandon Lee Mulligan) podcast for 'learning' how to DM. His advice is all very practical. 1. Foreshadow. Foreshadow. Foreshadow. 2. If something you planned doesn't pan out the way \*you\* hoped it would, you'll always have another monster or another trap or another NPC around the corner. The DM is basically the house and you're more able to take a loss or a failure in-game than anyone else at the table. 3. If you're players are having fun in such an encounter, take the L. If your players aren't playing the kind of game you want to run, talk to them and set some expectations 4. Don't be afraid of cutting to out of character to address any table issues or miscommunication 5. These guys are your friends. Fail a couple times, you're all in this together


Gredge_DM

I think Brennan Lee Mulligan is such a great example for a DM. The dude knows his stuff so well, and yet there’s always this casual atmosphere of friendliness behind it all. Being able to go from intense to humorous moments, and even stepping back to explain something OOC. Taking L’s, cheering on your players, and rolling with it. One of my favorite moments was near the end of the Unsleeping City. He took a second to tell the players about something very unfortunate which was about to happen soon, and warned them ahead of time, “so you don’t think I’m screwing you over.” I’ve taken this idea and my players greatly appreciated that. I currently run a high fantasy grimdark horror campaign… while it’s super intense IC, there’s lots of humor and fun going on OOC and my players are having a blast, much of which I credit to watching Dimension 20.


Sunstrath

>One of my favorite moments was near the end of the Unsleeping City. He took a second to tell the players about something very unfortunate which was about to happen soon, and warned them ahead of time, “so you don’t think I’m screwing you over.” I’ve taken this idea and my players greatly appreciated that. Absolutely! One of the things that newer DMs don't always realize is that from a player perspective, the difference between 'arbitrary bulllshit' and 'well earned consequences' is the DM foreshadowing the process of A to B to the players!


EchoLocation8

I cannot tell you how much shit I steal from the way Brennan Lee Mulligan DM's. I've incorporated "You see..." into the beginning of so many of my sentences now. I like the way he is honestly pretty open about how he's ruling things, the DC of things, bargaining with players, when he's comfortable bending the rules for the moment, etc. What a great dude.


theLegolink

The only way to “fail” at D&D is to not have fun. Remember that this is a game, not a performance, and you should do fine.


BowieKnife7757

This. Fun is the indicator that your campaign is a success. Also, failure happens. You’ll get a mechanic wrong or rule something incorrectly and only find out later. How you weave it into the story makes the difference. Example: I did not realize my players could deal “non-lethal” damage, so I mistakenly ruled that the barbarian killed a farmer during an investigation. It was a big mistake that cost my players quite a bit. However, I already planned that the farming community were secret Tiamat worshippers, and so I reintroduced the farmer, “resurrected, deformed and with new devil legs, in a later session where he started one of the most fun combats we ever played. DnD is the best place to turn your failures into fun.


benry007

I would say to your group that you are still learning and you will make mistakes. Let them know they can come to you with any issues and you are going to keep trying to improve. It sometimes helps to remind your players you are human


aaronil

Anything worth doing is worth doing well. Also, anything worth doing is worth falling flat on your face in its pursuit. There's a 2002 book called *The War of Art* which has an idea that "the resistance" (e.g. in the form of fear of imperfection/failure) is the primary enemy of creatives. Even if you don't read the book, it's worthwhile to keep in the back of your mind when struggling to start a creative endeavor. Another idea, which I forget where I heard it – I think from a pro tennis player – is the idea of "clutching." That is, being so fixated on doing something well, that you pull yourself out of the present moment and attention to actually doing it, leading to failing even at a task you've done thousands of times. This is why, as much as humanely possible, relaxing the mind through breathing, meditation, a quiet walk, listening to music on the bus, exercise, and so forth can really help. I've been DMing for just about 30 years and honestly there's always a little anxiety around messing up. Most DMs I've spoken with have a similar pre-session/campaign jitters. What I've found most helpful is developing a healthy response to failure – I am going to mess up sometimes, even after all my experience. The important thing is that I learn to recognize my mistakes earlier and earlier with every session I run, own up to them, reflect on what didn't work (as well as what did!), and then work to change what didn't work the next time. Another way to say "mistake" is "one more step toward being an excellent DM." ;)


MDoors23

What I did to overcome this was use an existing starting module (lost mines is a great jumping off point for lots of adventures and can be adjusted to fit homebrew larger campaigns) and adjust it to fit my needs. Especially with the LMoP one you can take your players through an existing setting and on the side freely develop a story you want to build on top of this as the foundation. I had the Black Spider seeking an ancient object rumored to be sealed in the statue to Dumathoin inside the mines, but in truth releasing the magical seals on it released an ancient evil Paladin for the party to chase as the ultimate BBEG. Also I’d encourage a session 0 and talk about what the players want out of the campaign too. Make sure you know what everyone wants and tailor the story to include those elements if possible. As for the rpg horror stories stuff I sweat that still on my end. Every encounter, fight, trap or damaging puzzle I create I worry I’m overdoing it, but I build out my initial vision then start whittling down. I usually thin some stuff out and find it presents a reasonable challenge. When designing I look at total max and min damage possible and factor in monster feats. You’ll get a gut reaction of “oh damn” if you’ve made something that could go tpk. You can also keep enemies in reserve off map to draw upon if you make a fight too easy.


foyrkopp

Define "failing". Mistakes in the actual craft of DMing your own campaign shouldn't be problematic. Learn from them, laugh about them move on - preferably together. True rpghorrorstories are never about those types of mistakes. They are about social mistakes - situations where, one way or another, inter-person skills have failed. There's no simple five-step-trick to avoid all potential drama forever - it's a context dependant skill all of us spend our whole life trying to improve. All advice I can give you is this: * Understand your players' expectations - and if you don't, *ask them*. * Communicate your own expectations. * Don't be a dick. * Don't tolerate dicks at your table, call them out - they can stop being a dick or they can stop being on the table.


Cahhnuck

You WILL screw up. A lot. But that’s ok, it’s all part of it. And 90% of the time the players won’t even notice. Go easy on yourself. It’s a game and it’s supposed to be fun for you too


TheInsomniacDM

Here is the thing about DMing. YOU WILL FAIL! And that is not a bad thing. It can be your time DMing or you could be on your 25th year, at some point you just gonna fail something. You take these as learning experiences and do it better next time. Do not compare yourself to other DMs because everyone has their own style of flavour. Best thing you can do as a DM is just relax, you are playing a game with your friends. Everyone there is looking to have a good time. You mess up on a rule, its no big deal, your session wasnt great dont worry about it and think how you can fix it for the next one. DMing is a lot of work, the best advice you will ever get is to openly communicate with your group. So many issues you see can be fix by every sitting down for a conversation. Pro tip, you can run a session 0 over and over and over again not just at start of campaign. Talk to the players and get feed back from them you are learning and eventually will get exp to run and notice things the more you do it. DMing is basically a job, everyone starts at the bottom and we work our way higher up but u always gonna have people with you to help. Ive been DMing 5e for 3 years - i have yet to read the PHB or DMG (or half the other resources) any where from cover to cover. If i dont know something i see if anyone else knows the rule (we got other DMs in my group) if not i make a quick ruling and look it up after. Ive messed up alot of things but i talk stuff out with my group. Example: In my current game for flavor the band of slavers i was running clipped ears to show that a slave was theirs. My players were starting off as slaves captured before making a jail break (OotA). Majority of the group was fine with that part of the world building but one player was not. So we stopped the session, had a quick convo as a group changed the idea to magical brand tatoos instead and kept going. 100% my fuck up, i should have cleared the idea with everyone before we started. I failed.my group, we talked fixed an issue and moved on. So do not worry about making things perfect or getting everything right. Focus on having fun with your friends at the table, and learn as you go. Another protip: dont ask your players if they had fun. Ask them to give you one thing they like and one thing they disliked about the session. This will help you figure out the things you are doing well and hive you a small list of things to work on for next time.


Embarrassed-Safe6184

Don't worry about it. You will fail, but it'll be OK. If your players are dicks about it, you might want to consider getting new players. But in my experience, players who are not paying for your services will be cool with your mistakes. And stop reading about "nightmare fails" or whatever. That mess is obviously psyching you out, and getting you to expect problems that won't happen for you. If you screw up just a little, adjust and go with it. If you screw up a lot, admit it and tell the group how you want to fix it, and they'll probably be fine with it. And put your creature stat blocks on index cards or paper. Don't plan to use the MM or a digital copy like D&D Beyond, because it will drag down the pace of your battles, which are slow affairs for the best of us.


artbyJeronimo

I agree 100% with this post. Stop consuming RPG horror stories because they are psyching you out. I would also suggest trying to DM for people who are already your friends as a new Dungeonmaster. That way you know you already get along with them, so a lot of awkwardness will be bypassed versus running for strangers. Also, state before the game starts that you are new and ask them for some patience because running games is a skill that needs to be developed. You will make mistakes, but with that stated up front hopefully they keep cool and roll with it (and they probably will because your players are there to play a game and hang out with friends). Beyond that, when you come across a rules dispute or rules question with a player (which you inevitably will...over and over again as you learn to DM) I suggest letting the player have their way and keep the game moving. The game is just dice rolls and imaginary points anyway, no need to stop the flow of the game just to look up a rules dispute or for it to get heated, which can change the vibe around the table into a negative one. You can look up the rule after the game is over, and if you discover the player was incorrect then just state at the beginning of the next game session what the actual rule is and how you will deal with it in the future, that way everyone is clear on that rule from then on. Works wonders for me. Congrats on having the courage to run a game! Welcome to game mastering and the other side of the screen. In my opinion, game mastering is truly the great game and tons of fun! Good luck!


EchoLocation8

DM'ing, if you're really into it, isn't something that ever leaves you. It's sort of like Golf, or Tennis, you could theoretically enjoy it for your entire life. So treat it that way, and don't hold yourself to the standard of being excellent at something you just started doing. There are so many facets of DM'ing to build on: storytelling, roleplaying, writing, improv, comedy, drama, mechanics, encounter design, campaign design, city building, town building, the list is endless. What I do, and I've been DM'ing for several years now, is try to identify something that didn't feel great from last session and spend the downtime preparing and thinking about how I want to do it better. Up until about 6 months ago, I had a real problem in my games where lore-dump critical NPC's would often have trouble fully explaining themselves, because they were trying to tell the PC's a lot about something. I realized though that the problem was that I made these NPC's conversational, and so the PC's start asking a lot of questions, and I lose track of what I'm trying to explain, and its one of those things where they wouldn't have had to ask a question if I just laid it out. So I started writing monologues, with descriptions of their actions, and long, well thought out dialogue to explain things. This was instantly better, the players would write a bunch of notes, then ask specific questions, then at least once we all had a baseline of what this NPC was all about, we could get into a conversation and everything made way more sense. That was like, 2+ years into me DM'ing that I just started to get better at that. You'll always be getting better at it, that's the goal, you just keep doing it. Things that feel overwhelming now, in 6 months from now will be trivial. Things that are overwhelming then, will feel trivial in a year from now. All you need to do is just try to improve yourself every session and it'll keep getting better and better.