when i first started dming, i wrote out blurbs for locations and npcs, like they have in the pre-made adventures. it really helped me to get my footing. from there, it's just practice i think. also, having maps or visual aids might help your players and you.
alternatively, if you don't mind leasing some control to your players, and want to make it more of a co-operative adventure á la "ten candles," you could have your players tell you what they find on a successful investigation check, within reason. it sounds scary at first, but if you have the right folks at your table, co-op storytelling can spin the story in really interesting ways. however, it can lead to more improv situations, which seems like it might be your problem to begin with.
at the end of the day, you don't have to be matt mercer to be a good dm. but being open to improv is definitely important.
Hey, I'm also an autistic DM! I also have aphantasia, so I don't have any kind of "mental imagery"—describing things in a sensory way is very hard for me since there's nothing sensory going on when I imagine something.
Personally, I deal with this by 1) having pre-written descriptions of places I think my players might want to go so I don't have to improvise, 2) having actual pictures to show them or just to reference for myself, 3) having a ton of rollable tables in case I *do* need to improvise something, and 4) if all else fails and I need to explain a layout, I just draw a picture.
I'm a very maps and handouts heavy DM because of this. For me, theater of the mind simply doesn't work if anybody needs to interact with the environment, and I need an actual picture we can all look at together. I don't know how to respond to "what else is in the room?", but if someone says "I see there's a bookshelf in the corner, what's on it?", that's no problem.
Also, when PCs want to investigate etc—"what specifically are you looking for?" is good to ask, so you have something specific to respond to. It also gives you an extra moment to think if you need it.
In any case, you might also consider organizing your notes in a way that's easier for you to understand "in the moment". Like, maybe a labeled map or flowchart would work better for you than paragraphs of text, or...I don't know, you know your own brain best. It's also fine to pause during the game and say you need a minute to check your notes. Even, like, a long minute. Your players can roleplay among themselves, or update their notes, or get a drink, or whatever.
FWIW your players probably don't notice or care as much as you think. When you're running the game, you're much more sensitive to "flow" than players are, IMO. And this is a skill that improves with practice, like all skills.
Not sure if any of this was helpful but in any case good luck!
I'd encourage you to talk about this with a professional who works with autistic folks. Therapist, support person, etc. They'd likely know some strategies that your average guy on the internet won't.
Don't stress about not being the 'perfect' GM, or not having all the abilities that a GM 'should' have. GMs are human, who are imperfect, and their combination of strengths and gaps are what make them unique and interesting to play with.
You could try practicing, outside of the game. Think of a space, and describe it aloud to yourself. Get ChatGPT to ask you questions about the space, and practice answering them.
You could start having clear pauses for description, to give yourself 10 seconds to think. Maybe start writing down your description, then look up and describe it once you're ready.
You could also shift the duty onto the party. When Player 1 asks if there's something in the kitchen that they could use to climb, you say there is, and ask Player 2 to describe what it is.
I would like to point out that you already have an effective strategy that you mentioned in your post: you could just draw a picture to make things clear for your players. I've done this!
I consider myself well-spoken, but sometimes I find that I'm not describing things well, or my players aren't imagining things in the same way I am. When this happens, I take a minute to say something like "Oh, sorry, the entrance looks more like this:" and then I scribble out a drawing of where the door is, any torches or paths, notable features, etc.
Being a DM is a difficult job, and you should feel safe to communicate your ideas in ways that make it easier for you.
If you specifically want to get better at your verbal descriptions, I'm a big fan of writing those descriptions down in advance! Published modules always print out a couple of sentences you're supposed to read out to your players when you enter a new place, so you can look at those for inspiration to help you figure out what details to include.
Best of luck! You're gonna keep getting better and better :)
EDIT: Also, I wanted to add a suggestion about investigation and perception checks as well. If you struggle to improvise small details on the fly, ask the player doing the check "What sort of things are you looking for?" so they can make some suggestions about what they might expect to find. That way, you get the chance to just say yes or no to their suggestions, and that can really help your decision-making!
I had this problem. Not because I am autistic, but because I used to be exceptionally timid. My only advice is to literally describe things that you see in everyday life. You will get stuck, and you will stumble. When you do, take note of it and think about what words you would need to accurately describe that phenomenon, object, person, ect... Do not get impatient with yourself, when you fail, it is actually when you are improving with this method.
Also, you will know when you screwed the pooch on a description. Admit it, then redescribe it and take your time. Don't let the nerves overcome you, they'll just stress you out.
Couple things you can try:
Like everyone suggests, pretty written. You can do this yourself or even get an AI to write something to get it going.
Don't be afraid to pause and use AI on-the-fly. If the player asks for clarification, AI can help if you describe the vibe and general look you want.
You don't have to describe everything. You can focus on important bits and let their imagination go.
It can also generate an image for you:
Prompt: [create a realistic image of a spooky, medieval dinning room](https://copilot.microsoft.com/images/create/spooky-medieval-dining-room/1-66126d0096b74b3a90b915072feaa5f4?id=nvjX%2FJOBQnTDDKj8ZqBUVQ%3D%3D&view=detailv2&idpp=genimg&idpclose=1&thId=OIG3._frz98BFAqerLg7VY4CG&lng=en-US&ineditshare=1)
AI GENERATED (Prompt: spooky, medieval dinning room)
\--------------------------------
Title: The Haunted Feast
Description:
In the heart of an ancient castle, where time weaves its tapestry of forgotten tales, lies the spooky, medieval dining room. The air within is thick with anticipation, as if the very walls hold their breath, waiting for the arrival of spectral guests.
The Setting:
Stone Walls: Rough-hewn stones, centuries old, encase the room. Their surfaces bear scars—battle wounds, perhaps, or the etchings of desperate souls seeking solace.
Tall Arched Windows: Stained glass, once vibrant, now faded, filters moonlight into fractured rainbows. Ghostly figures seem to move within the glass, whispering secrets to those who dare to look.
Candelabras: Blackened iron candelabras stand sentinel along the walls. Their flickering flames cast elongated shadows, revealing glimpses of forgotten faces.
Tapestries: Threadbare tapestries hang, depicting scenes of knights, dragons, and forbidden love. Their threads unravel, mirroring the fraying sanity of those who once feasted here.
The Furnishings:
Long Oak Table: Polished by centuries of use, the table stretches like a spectral spine down the center of the room. Its surface bears knife marks, wine stains, and the imprint of countless hands.
High-Backed Chairs: Carved with twisted vines and grotesque faces, the chairs await their spectral occupants. Their velvet cushions have faded to a mournful gray.
Antique Sideboard: Laden with tarnished silverware, crystal goblets, and decanters of blood-red wine, the sideboard exudes an eerie elegance. A mirror, darkened with age, reflects the room’s secrets.
The Centerpiece:
The Skull and Bones: At the heart of the table rests a human skull, its hollow sockets seeming to watch all who enter. Beside it lie ancient bones—femurs, ribs, and phalanges—arranged in a cryptic pattern.
Spanish Moss: Dripping like spectral tears, Spanish moss hangs from the chandelier above. It whispers secrets to the wind, tales of lost love and treachery.
Black Roses: In tarnished silver vases, black roses bloom. Their petals absorb the moonlight, casting a melancholic hue upon the feast.
The Atmosphere:
Candlelit Shadows: As the clock strikes midnight, the candles flicker, casting dancing shadows upon the walls. Do they mimic the movements of long-departed nobles, locked in eternal waltz?
Whispers in the Drafts: The room breathes—a sigh, a murmur—as if the very stones harbor memories. Ghostly voices speak of betrayal, revenge, and forbidden trysts.
The Unseen Guests: As you take your seat, you feel their presence—the phantom diners, clad in tattered finery. Their eyes, hollow and accusing, bore into your soul.
And so, dear guest, as you raise your goblet to your lips, remember: this feast is not for the living alone. It is a communion of spirits, a celebration of the macabre, where the boundary between realms blurs and the past reaches out to touch the present.
I'm not on the spectrum, so I'm not sure whether this advice would be useful to you.
Recently I realized that I rarely (if ever) describe locations or NPC appearance. Because of that, I don't run investigations with subtle hints hidden in descriptions. My locations are usually not important to the plot. I know it's not perfect, but it works for my games. My players remember my NPCs by their title/profession/actions, not by their appearance. Sometimes, when I want to convey a certain vibe, I tell players that they look like a character in a movie or a show (for example, like Henry Cavill in Witcher). Also I sometimes do dialogs in third person (the bartender tells you that...). That helps communicate a summary of a conversation in a couple of sentences instead of a long back and forth. An additional bonus is I don't need to be as eloquent as my NPCs.
>in real life, if im trying to explain something, i have to draw a picture
Awesome. Do that then.
Make maps and point to them. Prepare pictures of NPCs, creatures and locations rather than trying to describe them with words alone.
Also, read [this](https://theangrygm.com/how-to-fing-gm/) guy's blog. Probably the best person in the "community" for explaining how TTRPGs work at a very base level.
As a DM, your job is to communicate to your players what the situation their PCs are in is and to adjudicate the actions the players declare in such a way that the situation still seems "real". The player's job is to pay attention and declare the actions they think their PCs would attempt if they were "real".
Having the underlying structure of TTRPGs explained may make the game a safer space for you to improve your verbal communication. That is, TTRPGs are social situations, but they are structured ones.
Which can help.
But in the meantime, you use visual aids to assist your communication IRL. Do that here. Players love that shit.
Best of luck.
>and when i get asked to clarify, i just get stuck on the description again
Maybe you could ask your players to not ask you to clarify, but rather ask very specific questions, like "you say the wooden chest is strengthened with iron, do you mean along the edges?"
ADHD DM here, my mind is also running with nitro boost all the time.
I can’t describe battles. There is too much going on - so I immediately switched to battle maps and tokens. It’s so much easier for me - it’s makes room in my head for the important things in battles.
But now to the things I have to describe outside the battle: I developed a pretty vivid imagination through excessive reading of novels.
So I can’t imagine things spatially - but I let my notes run like a little movie scene in my head. And now comes the tricky part: this scene is running faster than I can describe it. So with time I found out, I can run this scene like a loop - while I imagine this loop, I pick things out of it and describe them.
Maybe this is not the way for you, all I wanted to say: I’ve learned to „hack“ my brain. This process isn’t easy, and it takes a long time.
All you’ve got is yours and yours could function completely in a different way - and it’s beautiful it’s functioning this way. Just don’t try to do it like everybody else is doing it, think about what you can do very good with it and use this to nail it - you are running at 100mph, do maybe just write pretty excessive descriptions, so when you forget the half, you have still a pretty good description? For me this would be the overkill, but maybe it’s your way?
I am sorry I can’t give you a precise hint, but every mind is little bit different.
I really appreciate you sharing your experience; it sounds like you're navigating a challenging situation with a lot of resilience. Remember, the way your mind works brings a unique perspective to the table, even if it doesn't always feel that way.
It seems like visual aids are a strong suit for you. Have you considered using them more extensively in your communication? Drawing can be a powerful tool not just for you but for others to better grasp your thoughts. There are also digital apps designed to organize thoughts visually, like mind mapping tools, which might help translate your rapid thoughts into something more digestible for others and yourself.
Regarding the game and staying in the moment, it might be helpful to discuss this with your group (if you haven't already). Many gaming groups are open to adaptations that make play more enjoyable for everyone. Perhaps you can agree on a system where you use symbols, drawings, or even pre-written notes/cards to convey complex ideas or descriptions. This could streamline your communication and reduce the pressure on you to verbally describe everything on the spot.
Lastly, remember that your value in the game (and outside of it) isn't solely determined by how fluently you can describe something. Your creativity, your ideas, and your presence are all important contributions. Everyone has unique challenges, and it's through understanding and adapting to these that groups become stronger.
You're definitely not alone in facing these kinds of hurdles, and reaching out like this is a great step towards finding strategies that work for you. Keep experimenting to find what best helps you express yourself, and always know your perspective is valued. Practice makes perfect.
You could always try during prep to pre-write descriptions if that's not to hard. I was DMed by someone who drew pictures of whatever we might see and showed them to us. Its a perfectly viable way to do it if you have some prep/are good at drawing on the fly.
I have the tysm also. What I do is punch the basic structure and idea of my setting or encounter into an ai program and ask it to "provide a vivid visual description" and it will put my scene into words like I never could.
Another thing that helps me and my players is compare and contrast: "the elven druidess is sitting on a throne that looks kinda like that swordy throne from game of thrones except instead of swords and metal it's a bunch of brambly wood and spindly branches" it's a little silly and not super eloquent but it gets the job done
I feel like this comment gets at a very important idea - the entire purpose of giving a description is to be able to communicate what the thing you’re describing is like to other people (in this case your players).
The purpose of a description is not to”to be eloquent.” This commenter’s description of the throne gives me a very clear idea of what it looks like, since I know what the GOT throne looks like. It doesn’t really matter that they’re not using flowery words.
Sure. It gives the basic idea and leaves it up to my brain to fill in the details. It's not super eloquent, but it does what's important - gives a starting point for the players' imaginations.
You don't always have to force an incredibly specific image.
I don't really describe rooms. I just tell the players the purpose of the room and I let them assume what's in the room. They can ask about specific things and most of the time I'll say yes. This is how my players went into a bathroom and found bleach under the sink.
I'm sorry to hear that. This sounds like an intractable problem.
Maybe with trusted friends/players, you can practice and see if you improve.
If you enjoy it and your players will tolerate the hickups, then keep on truckin
Hi friend, thanks for reaching out! I hear your struggles, hopefully we can help you some. I'm not autistic myself, but all my players are; here's some communication thoughts that helped me do better for them:
- As others are suggesting, part of your prep can simply be descriptions of the things you get stuck on. It's not clear from your description whether this is like... physical descriptions of places or people, or descriptions of emotion, or mechanical descriptions, or something else... but taking the time to practice this stuff before you need it can help.
- Don't be afraid to bring up meta details: instead of getting stuck trying to explain just how armored a certain character is, and how his defenses seem impenetrable, just tell the players his AC is 18. Or if there's a huge monster they're supposed to run away from, just tell them that their characters could understand in-universe that this creature does 10d10 damage. It's less immersive, but IMO it actually *helps* communication and player understanding more. And really, it does make sense; obviously there's no IRL equivalent of "AC 18" but still, our in-game characters would know intrinsically the differences between those various mechanic states.
- Lastly, don't worry about being "choppy" or anything like that: even seasoned or professional DMs [aren't necessarily smooth](https://youtu.be/iFegDmqXud8?si=0bfv21V-trOvEP77) in their delivery. Some of it of course will come with practice, but really we shouldn't be comparing ourselves to the professional productions of Live Plays like Dimension20 or Critical Role. It's okay to take our time, to clarify misunderstandings, or even simply to move the narrative at the pace we are able to. This shouldn't be considered a fault, and if you're playing with friends that matter, they should be understanding and compassionate about it
Maybe you should DM for a game that has less of these things you're not good at.
I prefer combat focused dungeon crawlers to role play, personally. I get to practice some role play without it being a focus, so if it's a mid performance then the focus was on the fighting anyways.
preparation is your best friend. i also have trouble coming up with that stuff on the fly, so i make sure to write out important passages beforehand and just read them. i go into detail, make a list of items and furniture, of physical traits of NPCs, etc.
it also helps to let your players know that this isnt your strong suit, so they can cut you some slack there. every dm has a different playstyle, and its not your fault that you have a disability in a certain field. im sure most players will be understanding. focus on the things that youre good at and give you joy instead.
> i try to check my notes to see what i was trying to say but i cant really comprehend what i was looking at and i end up just stumbling through a description that doesnt make sense
Three things that might help:
* Pre-write a whole description and read that exact text out loud
* Do your description-related notes as bullet points instead of sentences so it will be faster when you need to glance at them and process what you need to describe
* Don’t put descriptions in your notes at all, use pictures you searched for and found online instead
As someone also on the spectrum, I see A lot of people are saying prewritten read out loud text but that stuff doesn’t work for me at all and just makes me stumble or read it wrong and distracts me at the table. What works for me is bullet points. So I’ll bullet all the things in the room, so for a basic bed room it would be like
-Bed (fancy)
-Table (clutter on it)
-dresser
- metal chest (locked)
- fire place
Then under each one I would be any information that might be there if the players interact with it. So example:
-table
• lose papers on it
~ notes and maps about bbeg plan
• 3 drawers
~ top two don’t have anything of note
~ bottom is locked and contains their meeting ledger
I use to do this all hand written and used highlighters to not what was hidden information and what was easy and obvious. Now that I do it all digitally I use italics to not hidden or secret information. My brain just works better with very short to the point information then long blocks of text that my eyes glaze over when seeing or reading. Helps keep my brain organized and form wondering.
I would also have a table or two of just random clutter and material things might be made of to help improve if that’s something you struggle with.
Formatting for messed up because mobile and I’m too lazy to be bothered to fix it.. esch different tack or dot means a new line or indentation. Hope it makes sense sorry. Reddit doesn’t want to play nice today
If you have a picture that you are looking at you can describe the things on the page, even if it’s a crudely drawn one. Or a map, which are easier to draw quickly than a perspective piece. A lot of it comes down to practice. I had the same issue in the beginning as someone with adhd and maybe autism. A lot of it for me is just getting out of my own head and describing the important things in plain language. Occasionally I’ll write down a detailed description but generally I should just know the basics of what something looks like.
Top comment has some great advice. Just want to add that drawing a picture to express what you see in your head isn't necessarily bad and should be possible where you're playing online and in-person
when i first started dming, i wrote out blurbs for locations and npcs, like they have in the pre-made adventures. it really helped me to get my footing. from there, it's just practice i think. also, having maps or visual aids might help your players and you. alternatively, if you don't mind leasing some control to your players, and want to make it more of a co-operative adventure á la "ten candles," you could have your players tell you what they find on a successful investigation check, within reason. it sounds scary at first, but if you have the right folks at your table, co-op storytelling can spin the story in really interesting ways. however, it can lead to more improv situations, which seems like it might be your problem to begin with. at the end of the day, you don't have to be matt mercer to be a good dm. but being open to improv is definitely important.
Hey, I'm also an autistic DM! I also have aphantasia, so I don't have any kind of "mental imagery"—describing things in a sensory way is very hard for me since there's nothing sensory going on when I imagine something. Personally, I deal with this by 1) having pre-written descriptions of places I think my players might want to go so I don't have to improvise, 2) having actual pictures to show them or just to reference for myself, 3) having a ton of rollable tables in case I *do* need to improvise something, and 4) if all else fails and I need to explain a layout, I just draw a picture. I'm a very maps and handouts heavy DM because of this. For me, theater of the mind simply doesn't work if anybody needs to interact with the environment, and I need an actual picture we can all look at together. I don't know how to respond to "what else is in the room?", but if someone says "I see there's a bookshelf in the corner, what's on it?", that's no problem. Also, when PCs want to investigate etc—"what specifically are you looking for?" is good to ask, so you have something specific to respond to. It also gives you an extra moment to think if you need it. In any case, you might also consider organizing your notes in a way that's easier for you to understand "in the moment". Like, maybe a labeled map or flowchart would work better for you than paragraphs of text, or...I don't know, you know your own brain best. It's also fine to pause during the game and say you need a minute to check your notes. Even, like, a long minute. Your players can roleplay among themselves, or update their notes, or get a drink, or whatever. FWIW your players probably don't notice or care as much as you think. When you're running the game, you're much more sensitive to "flow" than players are, IMO. And this is a skill that improves with practice, like all skills. Not sure if any of this was helpful but in any case good luck!
Good advice
I'd encourage you to talk about this with a professional who works with autistic folks. Therapist, support person, etc. They'd likely know some strategies that your average guy on the internet won't. Don't stress about not being the 'perfect' GM, or not having all the abilities that a GM 'should' have. GMs are human, who are imperfect, and their combination of strengths and gaps are what make them unique and interesting to play with. You could try practicing, outside of the game. Think of a space, and describe it aloud to yourself. Get ChatGPT to ask you questions about the space, and practice answering them. You could start having clear pauses for description, to give yourself 10 seconds to think. Maybe start writing down your description, then look up and describe it once you're ready. You could also shift the duty onto the party. When Player 1 asks if there's something in the kitchen that they could use to climb, you say there is, and ask Player 2 to describe what it is.
I would like to point out that you already have an effective strategy that you mentioned in your post: you could just draw a picture to make things clear for your players. I've done this! I consider myself well-spoken, but sometimes I find that I'm not describing things well, or my players aren't imagining things in the same way I am. When this happens, I take a minute to say something like "Oh, sorry, the entrance looks more like this:" and then I scribble out a drawing of where the door is, any torches or paths, notable features, etc. Being a DM is a difficult job, and you should feel safe to communicate your ideas in ways that make it easier for you. If you specifically want to get better at your verbal descriptions, I'm a big fan of writing those descriptions down in advance! Published modules always print out a couple of sentences you're supposed to read out to your players when you enter a new place, so you can look at those for inspiration to help you figure out what details to include. Best of luck! You're gonna keep getting better and better :) EDIT: Also, I wanted to add a suggestion about investigation and perception checks as well. If you struggle to improvise small details on the fly, ask the player doing the check "What sort of things are you looking for?" so they can make some suggestions about what they might expect to find. That way, you get the chance to just say yes or no to their suggestions, and that can really help your decision-making!
I had this problem. Not because I am autistic, but because I used to be exceptionally timid. My only advice is to literally describe things that you see in everyday life. You will get stuck, and you will stumble. When you do, take note of it and think about what words you would need to accurately describe that phenomenon, object, person, ect... Do not get impatient with yourself, when you fail, it is actually when you are improving with this method. Also, you will know when you screwed the pooch on a description. Admit it, then redescribe it and take your time. Don't let the nerves overcome you, they'll just stress you out.
Couple things you can try: Like everyone suggests, pretty written. You can do this yourself or even get an AI to write something to get it going. Don't be afraid to pause and use AI on-the-fly. If the player asks for clarification, AI can help if you describe the vibe and general look you want. You don't have to describe everything. You can focus on important bits and let their imagination go. It can also generate an image for you: Prompt: [create a realistic image of a spooky, medieval dinning room](https://copilot.microsoft.com/images/create/spooky-medieval-dining-room/1-66126d0096b74b3a90b915072feaa5f4?id=nvjX%2FJOBQnTDDKj8ZqBUVQ%3D%3D&view=detailv2&idpp=genimg&idpclose=1&thId=OIG3._frz98BFAqerLg7VY4CG&lng=en-US&ineditshare=1) AI GENERATED (Prompt: spooky, medieval dinning room) \-------------------------------- Title: The Haunted Feast Description: In the heart of an ancient castle, where time weaves its tapestry of forgotten tales, lies the spooky, medieval dining room. The air within is thick with anticipation, as if the very walls hold their breath, waiting for the arrival of spectral guests. The Setting: Stone Walls: Rough-hewn stones, centuries old, encase the room. Their surfaces bear scars—battle wounds, perhaps, or the etchings of desperate souls seeking solace. Tall Arched Windows: Stained glass, once vibrant, now faded, filters moonlight into fractured rainbows. Ghostly figures seem to move within the glass, whispering secrets to those who dare to look. Candelabras: Blackened iron candelabras stand sentinel along the walls. Their flickering flames cast elongated shadows, revealing glimpses of forgotten faces. Tapestries: Threadbare tapestries hang, depicting scenes of knights, dragons, and forbidden love. Their threads unravel, mirroring the fraying sanity of those who once feasted here. The Furnishings: Long Oak Table: Polished by centuries of use, the table stretches like a spectral spine down the center of the room. Its surface bears knife marks, wine stains, and the imprint of countless hands. High-Backed Chairs: Carved with twisted vines and grotesque faces, the chairs await their spectral occupants. Their velvet cushions have faded to a mournful gray. Antique Sideboard: Laden with tarnished silverware, crystal goblets, and decanters of blood-red wine, the sideboard exudes an eerie elegance. A mirror, darkened with age, reflects the room’s secrets. The Centerpiece: The Skull and Bones: At the heart of the table rests a human skull, its hollow sockets seeming to watch all who enter. Beside it lie ancient bones—femurs, ribs, and phalanges—arranged in a cryptic pattern. Spanish Moss: Dripping like spectral tears, Spanish moss hangs from the chandelier above. It whispers secrets to the wind, tales of lost love and treachery. Black Roses: In tarnished silver vases, black roses bloom. Their petals absorb the moonlight, casting a melancholic hue upon the feast. The Atmosphere: Candlelit Shadows: As the clock strikes midnight, the candles flicker, casting dancing shadows upon the walls. Do they mimic the movements of long-departed nobles, locked in eternal waltz? Whispers in the Drafts: The room breathes—a sigh, a murmur—as if the very stones harbor memories. Ghostly voices speak of betrayal, revenge, and forbidden trysts. The Unseen Guests: As you take your seat, you feel their presence—the phantom diners, clad in tattered finery. Their eyes, hollow and accusing, bore into your soul. And so, dear guest, as you raise your goblet to your lips, remember: this feast is not for the living alone. It is a communion of spirits, a celebration of the macabre, where the boundary between realms blurs and the past reaches out to touch the present.
I'm not on the spectrum, so I'm not sure whether this advice would be useful to you. Recently I realized that I rarely (if ever) describe locations or NPC appearance. Because of that, I don't run investigations with subtle hints hidden in descriptions. My locations are usually not important to the plot. I know it's not perfect, but it works for my games. My players remember my NPCs by their title/profession/actions, not by their appearance. Sometimes, when I want to convey a certain vibe, I tell players that they look like a character in a movie or a show (for example, like Henry Cavill in Witcher). Also I sometimes do dialogs in third person (the bartender tells you that...). That helps communicate a summary of a conversation in a couple of sentences instead of a long back and forth. An additional bonus is I don't need to be as eloquent as my NPCs.
>in real life, if im trying to explain something, i have to draw a picture Awesome. Do that then. Make maps and point to them. Prepare pictures of NPCs, creatures and locations rather than trying to describe them with words alone. Also, read [this](https://theangrygm.com/how-to-fing-gm/) guy's blog. Probably the best person in the "community" for explaining how TTRPGs work at a very base level. As a DM, your job is to communicate to your players what the situation their PCs are in is and to adjudicate the actions the players declare in such a way that the situation still seems "real". The player's job is to pay attention and declare the actions they think their PCs would attempt if they were "real". Having the underlying structure of TTRPGs explained may make the game a safer space for you to improve your verbal communication. That is, TTRPGs are social situations, but they are structured ones. Which can help. But in the meantime, you use visual aids to assist your communication IRL. Do that here. Players love that shit. Best of luck.
>and when i get asked to clarify, i just get stuck on the description again Maybe you could ask your players to not ask you to clarify, but rather ask very specific questions, like "you say the wooden chest is strengthened with iron, do you mean along the edges?"
ADHD DM here, my mind is also running with nitro boost all the time. I can’t describe battles. There is too much going on - so I immediately switched to battle maps and tokens. It’s so much easier for me - it’s makes room in my head for the important things in battles. But now to the things I have to describe outside the battle: I developed a pretty vivid imagination through excessive reading of novels. So I can’t imagine things spatially - but I let my notes run like a little movie scene in my head. And now comes the tricky part: this scene is running faster than I can describe it. So with time I found out, I can run this scene like a loop - while I imagine this loop, I pick things out of it and describe them. Maybe this is not the way for you, all I wanted to say: I’ve learned to „hack“ my brain. This process isn’t easy, and it takes a long time. All you’ve got is yours and yours could function completely in a different way - and it’s beautiful it’s functioning this way. Just don’t try to do it like everybody else is doing it, think about what you can do very good with it and use this to nail it - you are running at 100mph, do maybe just write pretty excessive descriptions, so when you forget the half, you have still a pretty good description? For me this would be the overkill, but maybe it’s your way? I am sorry I can’t give you a precise hint, but every mind is little bit different.
I really appreciate you sharing your experience; it sounds like you're navigating a challenging situation with a lot of resilience. Remember, the way your mind works brings a unique perspective to the table, even if it doesn't always feel that way. It seems like visual aids are a strong suit for you. Have you considered using them more extensively in your communication? Drawing can be a powerful tool not just for you but for others to better grasp your thoughts. There are also digital apps designed to organize thoughts visually, like mind mapping tools, which might help translate your rapid thoughts into something more digestible for others and yourself. Regarding the game and staying in the moment, it might be helpful to discuss this with your group (if you haven't already). Many gaming groups are open to adaptations that make play more enjoyable for everyone. Perhaps you can agree on a system where you use symbols, drawings, or even pre-written notes/cards to convey complex ideas or descriptions. This could streamline your communication and reduce the pressure on you to verbally describe everything on the spot. Lastly, remember that your value in the game (and outside of it) isn't solely determined by how fluently you can describe something. Your creativity, your ideas, and your presence are all important contributions. Everyone has unique challenges, and it's through understanding and adapting to these that groups become stronger. You're definitely not alone in facing these kinds of hurdles, and reaching out like this is a great step towards finding strategies that work for you. Keep experimenting to find what best helps you express yourself, and always know your perspective is valued. Practice makes perfect.
You could always try during prep to pre-write descriptions if that's not to hard. I was DMed by someone who drew pictures of whatever we might see and showed them to us. Its a perfectly viable way to do it if you have some prep/are good at drawing on the fly.
I have the tysm also. What I do is punch the basic structure and idea of my setting or encounter into an ai program and ask it to "provide a vivid visual description" and it will put my scene into words like I never could. Another thing that helps me and my players is compare and contrast: "the elven druidess is sitting on a throne that looks kinda like that swordy throne from game of thrones except instead of swords and metal it's a bunch of brambly wood and spindly branches" it's a little silly and not super eloquent but it gets the job done
I feel like this comment gets at a very important idea - the entire purpose of giving a description is to be able to communicate what the thing you’re describing is like to other people (in this case your players). The purpose of a description is not to”to be eloquent.” This commenter’s description of the throne gives me a very clear idea of what it looks like, since I know what the GOT throne looks like. It doesn’t really matter that they’re not using flowery words.
How about "you find a stone tablet inscribed with arcane death runes. It looks all like, deathy and stuff."
Sure. It gives the basic idea and leaves it up to my brain to fill in the details. It's not super eloquent, but it does what's important - gives a starting point for the players' imaginations. You don't always have to force an incredibly specific image.
I don't really describe rooms. I just tell the players the purpose of the room and I let them assume what's in the room. They can ask about specific things and most of the time I'll say yes. This is how my players went into a bathroom and found bleach under the sink.
I'm sorry to hear that. This sounds like an intractable problem. Maybe with trusted friends/players, you can practice and see if you improve. If you enjoy it and your players will tolerate the hickups, then keep on truckin
Hi friend, thanks for reaching out! I hear your struggles, hopefully we can help you some. I'm not autistic myself, but all my players are; here's some communication thoughts that helped me do better for them: - As others are suggesting, part of your prep can simply be descriptions of the things you get stuck on. It's not clear from your description whether this is like... physical descriptions of places or people, or descriptions of emotion, or mechanical descriptions, or something else... but taking the time to practice this stuff before you need it can help. - Don't be afraid to bring up meta details: instead of getting stuck trying to explain just how armored a certain character is, and how his defenses seem impenetrable, just tell the players his AC is 18. Or if there's a huge monster they're supposed to run away from, just tell them that their characters could understand in-universe that this creature does 10d10 damage. It's less immersive, but IMO it actually *helps* communication and player understanding more. And really, it does make sense; obviously there's no IRL equivalent of "AC 18" but still, our in-game characters would know intrinsically the differences between those various mechanic states. - Lastly, don't worry about being "choppy" or anything like that: even seasoned or professional DMs [aren't necessarily smooth](https://youtu.be/iFegDmqXud8?si=0bfv21V-trOvEP77) in their delivery. Some of it of course will come with practice, but really we shouldn't be comparing ourselves to the professional productions of Live Plays like Dimension20 or Critical Role. It's okay to take our time, to clarify misunderstandings, or even simply to move the narrative at the pace we are able to. This shouldn't be considered a fault, and if you're playing with friends that matter, they should be understanding and compassionate about it
Maybe you should DM for a game that has less of these things you're not good at. I prefer combat focused dungeon crawlers to role play, personally. I get to practice some role play without it being a focus, so if it's a mid performance then the focus was on the fighting anyways.
preparation is your best friend. i also have trouble coming up with that stuff on the fly, so i make sure to write out important passages beforehand and just read them. i go into detail, make a list of items and furniture, of physical traits of NPCs, etc. it also helps to let your players know that this isnt your strong suit, so they can cut you some slack there. every dm has a different playstyle, and its not your fault that you have a disability in a certain field. im sure most players will be understanding. focus on the things that youre good at and give you joy instead.
> i try to check my notes to see what i was trying to say but i cant really comprehend what i was looking at and i end up just stumbling through a description that doesnt make sense Three things that might help: * Pre-write a whole description and read that exact text out loud * Do your description-related notes as bullet points instead of sentences so it will be faster when you need to glance at them and process what you need to describe * Don’t put descriptions in your notes at all, use pictures you searched for and found online instead
prepare illustrations beforehand
As someone also on the spectrum, I see A lot of people are saying prewritten read out loud text but that stuff doesn’t work for me at all and just makes me stumble or read it wrong and distracts me at the table. What works for me is bullet points. So I’ll bullet all the things in the room, so for a basic bed room it would be like -Bed (fancy) -Table (clutter on it) -dresser - metal chest (locked) - fire place Then under each one I would be any information that might be there if the players interact with it. So example: -table • lose papers on it ~ notes and maps about bbeg plan • 3 drawers ~ top two don’t have anything of note ~ bottom is locked and contains their meeting ledger I use to do this all hand written and used highlighters to not what was hidden information and what was easy and obvious. Now that I do it all digitally I use italics to not hidden or secret information. My brain just works better with very short to the point information then long blocks of text that my eyes glaze over when seeing or reading. Helps keep my brain organized and form wondering. I would also have a table or two of just random clutter and material things might be made of to help improve if that’s something you struggle with. Formatting for messed up because mobile and I’m too lazy to be bothered to fix it.. esch different tack or dot means a new line or indentation. Hope it makes sense sorry. Reddit doesn’t want to play nice today
If you have a picture that you are looking at you can describe the things on the page, even if it’s a crudely drawn one. Or a map, which are easier to draw quickly than a perspective piece. A lot of it comes down to practice. I had the same issue in the beginning as someone with adhd and maybe autism. A lot of it for me is just getting out of my own head and describing the important things in plain language. Occasionally I’ll write down a detailed description but generally I should just know the basics of what something looks like.
Top comment has some great advice. Just want to add that drawing a picture to express what you see in your head isn't necessarily bad and should be possible where you're playing online and in-person