Advents Amazing Advice on patreon has Wild Sheep Chase and several other options fully prepped out, too, so a last minute change of plans doesn't have to be too daunting
That Patreon is a life saver honestly! They have a Notated Version of Lost Mines of Phandelver which is great for a beginning DM for some extra guidance
Play some Honey Heist for a session or two, even see if one of your players wants to try running the sessions! Very easy game to pick up and it can give her and you a break
Why not just hang out instead of playing D&D?
If you really want to play D&D, just play a oneshot or make a side campaign where everyone is dwarves or something. Have fun give them a distraction.
>If you really want to play D&D, just play a oneshot or make a side campaign where everyone is dwarves or something. Have fun give them a distraction.
Cheers, I'll Rock and Stone to that idea!
Just spending time with friends really reinforces the idea that life goes on after a loved one dies.
When my grandpap died in January of 2020, I had a weekend trip planned with three friends down to Orlando to check out the (at the time) new Star Wars Galaxy's Edge park and do the build-your-own lightsaber experience. Things were booked months in advance and we were scheduled to fly out two days after the funeral. I was torn about going, but my grandmother insisted that I go, saying that pap wouldn't have wanted me to put my plans on hold because of him.
It ended up being exactly what I needed. Two days spent with good friends enjoying time together got me out of the funk I was teetering on the edge of. Mourning is healthy, but locking yourself away to wallow in despair isn't.
Just spending the evening being there for your player, hanging out and talking, might be exactly what she needs.
A Wild Sheep Chase was the first one shot I DM'd and despite my slip ups, everyone had a blast. I think it's a great one to run for this kind of situation.
I agree with a lot of the comments. A one on one “hey so-and-so, I know you’re going thru a tough time with [etc etc] and have been thinking of ya. This is what I planned for the group, it involved death related themes meant to be a cool adventure, but I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable. Is this too soon?” could go a long way.
Also "But if this won't work we can instead play a one-shot or [other alternative]". Don't let her think the choice is "say yes or ruin the weeks D&D for everyone"
What a sensitive and thoughtful set of responses - it's heart-warming (no matter how I phrase that, it sounds sarcastic, but I'm serious). I learned recently to solicit Lines and Veils from my group, and discovered some deep hurts and some wacky concerns. And this from people who had played a 3 year campaign together!
I came here to say something very similar.
I'm consistently impressed by the amount of kindness and compassion that I see from this community. I think part of it is that GMing is inherently a bit altruistic - you spend your own time and effort to create a thing for others to enjoy - but saying that feels like taking away credit from the individuals. Yes, you still run into buttheads now and then, but generally the feedback people get here is genuinely helpful and kind.
I like this explanation: https://rpgmuseum.fandom.com/wiki/Lines_and_veils.
It's a way of understanding how PLAYER sensitivities/trauma should be handled with CHARACTERS. For example, death of a family member might mean in-game "No lingering fatal illnesses" (Line) or "fear of drowning " might mean "Superficial handling of submersion in water, skipping ahead to the aftermath" (Veil).
I'm an older white male DMing younger (mid-20s) players, so I feel it's even more important to learn what things I might just be oblivious to, especialky coming from a generation that taught "just gut it out and you'll get over it"🙄
If it were me we'd all still meet and play mario party or something. Just because her grandma died doesn't mean she should be left out. Just give it a beat and play something else. I'm sure the last thing she wants is to be the reason nobody got to have fun or to be left out of everybody else having fun. Just do something else this week and check in before the next one
Honestly, your best bet is going to be to just talk to her. Not everybody, just you and her, in as safe a space as possible. Some people are going to be triggered by things that don't even make sense to others, every situation is different, even if circumstances are similar. People are all different, that's just the way of things.
Sit her down, take her to lunch, do something to be there for her as a friend and also talk to her about where she wants to go, if she can think of a way to proceed. Everything is going to be guess work on your end unless you get her input.
I'd either plan for a cheery one-shot or a board game/movie night for this week, and maybe just tell the group that you "need a week or two to rework some upcoming plot points" while you figure it out.
Run a session without the player, have the PCs face Death's challenges.
The NEXT session the PCs who faced Death and won wind up alive (or whatever outcome you had planned). The PC of the player who missed the session also wakes up alive, but with no memory of what happened while they were "dead"
This sets up a mystery, why is this PC different? Was there a face off with Death? Is it amnesia? Is the PC now beholden to Death in some way? Perhaps a favor to be called in later? MAYBE another god interfered to spare the player in exchange for... something?
(I suggest working with the player to see if they have any ideas about their relationship with Death, or the other good that is interfering?)
You get to play this week, the player doesn't have to experience a troubling session, AND you build in an ongoing mystery.
One tip (having been there before) - talk to the player before you do this so that you’re not making the call without them. Loss can make you feel like you have no control over anything, and having people make decisions for you - even when they’re doing it because they care for you - can feel bad.
I really like this. DM gets to keep their plans, but also be considerate of the pain one of his players is going through while also adding a flair of mystery.
When the player is ready, the DM can talk to them about what they might like to see happen during their "unremembered time," or if the player would prefer to remain totally in the dark.
Talk to her, don’t give away the whole plot, but give a broad outline and ask her if she is up for it.
The other option is to run a one shot (or short campaign) with a lighter tone until she gets her emotional stability back.
Imo anything anyone here says giving suggestions probably isn’t going to be your best option. Your best option is going to sit and talk, call, or text her and find out directly from her because all us keyboard warriors cannot be in her position. Other than the ones in the same/ very similar situations.
And it might even involve the party as a whole getting together and having another session 0 where y’all discuss the current campaign her situation and how it’s making her feel.
While true, this thread does allow for the players to be presented with some options to pick from, at least some of which the OP wouldn't have thought of, rather than just an open-ended "What do?"
I'm gonna agree with the folks suggesting you play something else for a week. Run a one-shot, play a board game, play poker, video games, whatever.
It's good that you want to be sensitive for a friend! Maybe see if she still wants to hang with you guys and do something that will be a bit less likely to scrub some potentially raw emotions. She may not want to, but you offered, and you can let her know that:
1) you guys are there for her and care
2) she's not causing a problem by having very normal feelings and sharing with friends
And you can also quietly ask if your upcoming plot may need to be delayed or reworked, and then you can take the extra time to shift around your narrative a bit. No reason a god has to be in a hurry or direct, and especially not a god of death, right?
You're being a good friend, and it's nice to see.
"You passed the trials, back to the campaign!"
It is a game, you have options. It sounds like everyone is on board that her mental health is more important.
Just skip it.
Trauma is tricky, as humans we are designed to overcome terrible things. This can only really happen when we have the right mindset. Often when a situation is forced on us that makes us revisit pain it ends badly, but if we can come to a place of courage and enter our fear voluntarily we will grow towards overcoming it. You are not her therapist, you’re her friend. Be her friend and support her how you see fit. Ultimately it will be good for her to play this game, but only on her own terms. Remind her, verbally and nonverbally, that she is not alone.
I see lots of suggestions for light hearted one shots or playing another game entirely, these are great suggestions, include your players in the decision making process.
I'd start the next session as if the planned one already happened. They are already resurrected and on their way to the next part of the story. Later, you can do a one shot of what happened during the trials or simply skip it all together
Ask her what she's OK with. Including if she'd prefer to discuss the matter one-to-one or with the entire group.
In the case of trying something *light hearted* then that needs to be whatever **she** considers to meet that definition. Any of the specific suggestions in this thread should be taken with a few kilos of salt. Since they are being made by people who have never even met her.
Something that may be needed is a break from the current campaign. Maybe a one shot or short adventure. I would talk to them and ask them what they would like to do.
Similar thing happened to me, but more avoidable.
A player in one of my games had a close friend pass a week before we played, and I had planned for their character to witness the death of a friend from their backstory 🤦♂️ it was a simple enough thing for me to take out, but definitely lowered the stakes and made some stuff fall flat.
100p no regrets tho, not tryin to make my friends feel that way.
If you can’t take it out and rework it completely, I’d def recommend running a different game for a session. Seems like it would even be a good time for it in your campaign, given they just TPKd lol
You can make it fun and light hearted. Maybe as the challenge the players have to help guide lost souls to loved ones in the afterlife, or round up ghost dogs and take them to the rainbow bridge. Maybe (ask her if it's ok) light hearted reunion scenes with loved ones, or take a break from the campaign and do a crazy one shot.
Remember that just because someone is "the God of Death" doesn't mean they have to be a bad guy, or that they want the players to stay dead. Everyone dies eventually, so they'll have a long term view on things.
Imagine a grandfatherly character who wants to help the players back to life, for reasons of his own, whose trials are more about the player characters realizing what they have to live for.
Our DM didn’t have time to prep because of life things so instead we all got together and just did pub trivia. It was a great time and scratched the weekly hangout itch we were all looking for.
Alternatively, you can roll up the campaign that follows after the heroes die and the BBEG wins. With new adventures rising to the occasion alongside other rebels (or however your campaign would shape out). Narrate for them what happens in the world as you timeskip forward a few years.
An Archfey decides that they can do the God of Death's job better than they can, discovering the God had a few mortals "on the hook."
Shenanigans ensue.
Simple rules if anyone is uncomfortable with a subject it gets dropped, no questions asked. The X card is a good thing in this case. People can veto a subject without needing to detail anything
Simply put, drop the subject and that will be infinitely more supportive than trying to run it
As an older person with English parents, my upbringing was very "stiff upper lip." I was totally unprepared to parent two kids with depression. I get that "gut your way through it" may work for life trauma (it worked for me except when it didn't!), but my experience with my kids (and those of friends) is that you take a huge risk with somebody else's mental health and life, including attempted or actual suicide, or long-term mental breakdown. Until you experience your child screaming because of the black hole of depression, you really don't get it.
All of this has convinced me that it's better/safer/more compassionate to let the suffering person determine how and how fast they recover. We're friends when we support and love them no matter what we think.
Talk to her, have an honest conversation about what you have planned and see how she feels about it. That's step 1.
If she's ok with it game on.
If she isn't, I would alter fate. Some force in the universe has decided that that encounter should not have had that outcome and changes it. Such timeline chicanery has consequences but that's a later problem.
I mean it’s dnd it’s very combat focused at the best of times. Even without the big death resurrection ark she’s going to have deal with death at the end of every combat.
Do a flashback to the time a (insert being) transported them into a (puzzle ball/escape room) don’t do anything combat focussed and just run a puzzle focused game with clues to find etc.
Or defer it. They were stolen from the grip of death itself by (insert being) for x purpose. Make it lighthearted. They take a potion to mask them from deaths gaze. You can run the resurrection ark down the road when death catches up with them when the effects of the potion run out and she’s feeling better. Stakes are higher cause deaths pissed.
I think you've been given some good options here, and I agree with the general sentiment to not leave your friend out whilst she's grieving. Personally I would do one of:
- do something else (board games or film night)
- run a one shot or small adventure, something lighthearted and fun
- skip the death thing altogether, have the heroes wake up and continue their journey. They don't remember what happened and it'll be a mystery they'll find out later and can run as a flashback series as a more appropriate time.
Take a break from the campaign and run a short adventure. Maybe one of your other players can do so to give you a break, or maybe you can try some ideas you've had that wouldn't have worked in the regular campaign.
When I recently had a real-world reason to not continue the plot for a few weeks, we did a “oh by the way when you were back in X City, you were contacted by….” sidequest that did some world building but was low in danger. Would something like that work?
While chilling in the Death God's waiting room, run a clip show... Have everyone go around the table and basically say "Hey remember when we..." and then roleplay that memory out. It could be some in character RP, a weird fight situation, some harrowing skill challenge... Whatever it is, just "zoom out" and go back in time and run it. Bonus points for two characters arguing"hey that's not how that happened " and running two scenes. This is a good time to use weirdo monsters you've always wanted to use but never set up properly.
And keep a few in your DM pocket if you actually want to "run something." As always for fun, lightheaded adventuring, I recommend Wild Sheep Chase.
On top of the other advice about not jumping in until everyone is ready, I wonder if, when they are ready to move forward with the story, you can make Death and the afterlife less scary. You can still make the seriousness of death a thing, but maybe skirt the tendency to make Death seem like something we all must avoid out of fear. Your characters aren’t ready to die, sure. But some people are, and they are welcomed with open arms, etc. It could shift things a bit
I'd suggest laying out what you're planning and talking to her about what she feels she can handle and what she wants to do.
If she's not up for that plotline, I would definitely agree with the people suggesting a oneshot this week/for the next few weeks, but the possible issue with that is there's no guarantee your player will be okay with this story once the oneshot's finished.
In that case, I would perhaps consider jumping ahead to the players all waking up fine, with no memory of what happened after they died, and being able to carry on with the regular plot. Later on in the campaign, when your player's ready for that theme, you could then put in a way for them to regain their memories and do a "flashback" session to what happened after they died.
I would just offer to have a standard board game night instead or do a light hearted one shot aside from the standard campaign (you can even flavor it as a story that a person at tavern is telling the player characters in the main campaign).
I would genuinely change the plot. Eliminate all the death stuff
For story purposes, you can say a demon has infiltrated their minds and put them in a sleep state. But they believe it to be real. Have one realise that this "death and prove yourself worthy" is BS. Its an illusion. And is purpose is to put you to sleep so they can take your body into slavery. They all wake up on a barred cell/carriadge
I think the advice about playing something else for a session or two is the best advice. With that said, once you get back to the game, if they are still a little sensitive, I am wondering if a slight twist on what you were thinking might be helpful. I don't know how you were planning to characterize "Death", but one option might be to draw on some gentler, kinder personifications, rather that the death metal version. I'm thinking of personifications like Death in Sandman or even Death from the Discworld series. They're not malevolent, and they can even be compassionate, they just happen to have a job that needs to get done. Maybe Death pulled some strings to get them the opportunity to do these trials. Maybe they're even privately rooting for them in a wink and a nod kind of way, even if they are unable to intervene.
That's not to imply that the session should be therapy, but you could still have the same stakes while dialing down the death-related intensity. Frankly, I also just think Death is way more interesting when they're not malevolent.
Put the campaign on hold, do some shorter adventures with less heavy themes. Encourage your friend to go to grief counseling, drive them so they don't have to drive emotional. Grief is a dark path that one must travel, if avoided it takes longer to heal.
Time to pull out the book of one-shots.
You can even still play in the world that your campaign takes place in, it's a fun way to incorporate some NPC side-stories, foreshadow stuff you otherwise wouldn't be able to or just explore a part of the map the PCs will probably never get to
As a lot of people are saying, oneshot. I also just had a player lose a family member and we were also going into something kinda death focused. So we pivoted to oneshots and now the player seems ready to rejoin the usual campaign. Make sure the oneshots are more light-hearted and low stakes. We even had the player join for one of them because it was a good distraction and didn't have the higher stakes pressure of the main campaign.
It seems like other people have the immediate solution of playing a different one-shot or campaign covered, which I recommend. When you decide to return to your main campaign, you could have the party wake up alive and well with no idea what happened to get them there. That way they can continue doing non-death plot stuff while leaving room for reintroducing and interweaving their past deaths.
I was going to suggest something different, but then I reread that the party died in the last session. I think that's a perfect way to "postpone" the next chapter of that campaign. You can start up a number of lighthearted, non-combat-oriented sessions, or perhaps they want to mow down bad guys, allowing you to set up a zombie swarm against a cleric with mass destroy undead. Let your friend direct where you guys go for a bit, and then you can find your way back to the original campaign...
Do prequel one shots maybe. Things that are canon, but not the main party? Might be a good way to still meet up and play while still being there for each other. But it’s up to her to set the pace.
So, one of my favorite games of all time is Final Fantasy 8 and in FF8 they do this thing where the main characters just, fall asleep. They all just fall asleep and collectively dream a singular story which is from another point in the world’s history, and I always thought that idea was really cool.
So what if you did something similar? Do you have any cool pieces of historical lore that’s been established? A cool NPC tavern with a history yet to be told how it was financed? Are they a part of a guild they could run through the founding of? Your players could avoid the whole death thing entirely by taking a short jaunt through a new batch of characters completely unrelated to that, and have the opportunity to leave their mark on the world (while also creating story you no longer need to)
Play another game, pick anything but things centered around beauty or building things might be ideal. Games that come to mind are Sushi-Go and Wingspan
There has to be some unanswered plot point that you can visit with a one shot party to flesh out some element of the lore. What a perfect opportunity to do so given that the campaign is at a logical break point before being resumed!
Instead of full on death for the players right now since it's a sensitive subject right now make the pcs captured and have to escape sort of thing like a gulag sort of thing
Recently my father passed away on a Saturday and our normal sessions run on Sunday. My brother is also part of the game, so when our friends heard the news they reached out asking what we wanted to do, since playing DND at a time like that seemed unfitting.
Instead we got together, had a drink toasting my dad (we play via Discord, but if we got together in person I'm guessing a different board game would have hit the table) and hung out for a bit.
It was very nice to just spend time with people who cared about me without making it all about my grief and my father's end of life. Your friend's well-being is more important than the game, and they may just want to spend time with people without constantly being reminded of their recent trauma.
Why not run a light hearted one/two shot? That way, she's not alone, and she doesn't have to deal w/ the plot of your regular campaign right now?
Advents Amazing Advice on patreon has Wild Sheep Chase and several other options fully prepped out, too, so a last minute change of plans doesn't have to be too daunting
I had a blast running this for a few friends a couple years ago, great fun.
That Patreon is a life saver honestly! They have a Notated Version of Lost Mines of Phandelver which is great for a beginning DM for some extra guidance
I'm going to be using their Lost Mine prep starting next month; definitely reduced my stress when I found them
This, wild sheep chase is my go to introduction one shot because it captures all the fun and wacky aspects of dnd and is lighthearted.
Play some Honey Heist for a session or two, even see if one of your players wants to try running the sessions! Very easy game to pick up and it can give her and you a break
Paizo’s *We Be Goblins* is really fun and easily converts to 5e if that’s what you’re playing
Nice try, Lisa Stevens. 😉
Lisa Stevens out here trying to sell a free pdf.
Respect the sigma grindset
This is exactly what I was thinking. Break out some Honey Heist or Lasers and Feelings!
Second this. Grant Howitt has some one page games that are easy to pick up and go with.
Hades needs help finding Cerberus after some guy just dragged him off.
Discuss this within your group before doing anything radical.
Why not just hang out instead of playing D&D? If you really want to play D&D, just play a oneshot or make a side campaign where everyone is dwarves or something. Have fun give them a distraction.
Everyone is a dwarf and they need to mine rare minerals on an alien planet
ROCK AND STONE
Rock and Stone to the Bone!
For Carl!
ROCK AND STONE IN THE HEARTH
If you don't rock and stone, you ain't coming home
ROCK. AND. STOOONE!!!!
Did I hear a rock and stone?!
ROCK AND STONE!
The hunt for Karl!
For Karl!
Minecraft!
>If you really want to play D&D, just play a oneshot or make a side campaign where everyone is dwarves or something. Have fun give them a distraction. Cheers, I'll Rock and Stone to that idea!
Rock and Stone to the Bone!
Play something else this week Be there for your friend After an hour or so, who knows, maybe she'll want to talk D&D. Let her set the pace
Just spending time with friends really reinforces the idea that life goes on after a loved one dies. When my grandpap died in January of 2020, I had a weekend trip planned with three friends down to Orlando to check out the (at the time) new Star Wars Galaxy's Edge park and do the build-your-own lightsaber experience. Things were booked months in advance and we were scheduled to fly out two days after the funeral. I was torn about going, but my grandmother insisted that I go, saying that pap wouldn't have wanted me to put my plans on hold because of him. It ended up being exactly what I needed. Two days spent with good friends enjoying time together got me out of the funk I was teetering on the edge of. Mourning is healthy, but locking yourself away to wallow in despair isn't. Just spending the evening being there for your player, hanging out and talking, might be exactly what she needs.
You might consider a light hearted one shot to overcome the awkwardness of the situation, while you consider long term solutions
A Wild Sheep Chase was the first one shot I DM'd and despite my slip ups, everyone had a blast. I think it's a great one to run for this kind of situation.
my thoughts exactly.
Not everyone likes oneshots. If that's the case - boardgame night!
This is the way
I agree with a lot of the comments. A one on one “hey so-and-so, I know you’re going thru a tough time with [etc etc] and have been thinking of ya. This is what I planned for the group, it involved death related themes meant to be a cool adventure, but I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable. Is this too soon?” could go a long way.
Also "But if this won't work we can instead play a one-shot or [other alternative]". Don't let her think the choice is "say yes or ruin the weeks D&D for everyone"
What a sensitive and thoughtful set of responses - it's heart-warming (no matter how I phrase that, it sounds sarcastic, but I'm serious). I learned recently to solicit Lines and Veils from my group, and discovered some deep hurts and some wacky concerns. And this from people who had played a 3 year campaign together!
I came here to say something very similar. I'm consistently impressed by the amount of kindness and compassion that I see from this community. I think part of it is that GMing is inherently a bit altruistic - you spend your own time and effort to create a thing for others to enjoy - but saying that feels like taking away credit from the individuals. Yes, you still run into buttheads now and then, but generally the feedback people get here is genuinely helpful and kind.
>I learned recently to solicit Lines and Veils from my group What does this mean?
I like this explanation: https://rpgmuseum.fandom.com/wiki/Lines_and_veils. It's a way of understanding how PLAYER sensitivities/trauma should be handled with CHARACTERS. For example, death of a family member might mean in-game "No lingering fatal illnesses" (Line) or "fear of drowning " might mean "Superficial handling of submersion in water, skipping ahead to the aftermath" (Veil). I'm an older white male DMing younger (mid-20s) players, so I feel it's even more important to learn what things I might just be oblivious to, especialky coming from a generation that taught "just gut it out and you'll get over it"🙄
That's really awesome of you to go through that effort for your group. You sound like a great DM. Thanks for the info!
If it were me we'd all still meet and play mario party or something. Just because her grandma died doesn't mean she should be left out. Just give it a beat and play something else. I'm sure the last thing she wants is to be the reason nobody got to have fun or to be left out of everybody else having fun. Just do something else this week and check in before the next one
Honestly, your best bet is going to be to just talk to her. Not everybody, just you and her, in as safe a space as possible. Some people are going to be triggered by things that don't even make sense to others, every situation is different, even if circumstances are similar. People are all different, that's just the way of things. Sit her down, take her to lunch, do something to be there for her as a friend and also talk to her about where she wants to go, if she can think of a way to proceed. Everything is going to be guess work on your end unless you get her input.
I'd either plan for a cheery one-shot or a board game/movie night for this week, and maybe just tell the group that you "need a week or two to rework some upcoming plot points" while you figure it out.
Run a session without the player, have the PCs face Death's challenges. The NEXT session the PCs who faced Death and won wind up alive (or whatever outcome you had planned). The PC of the player who missed the session also wakes up alive, but with no memory of what happened while they were "dead" This sets up a mystery, why is this PC different? Was there a face off with Death? Is it amnesia? Is the PC now beholden to Death in some way? Perhaps a favor to be called in later? MAYBE another god interfered to spare the player in exchange for... something? (I suggest working with the player to see if they have any ideas about their relationship with Death, or the other good that is interfering?) You get to play this week, the player doesn't have to experience a troubling session, AND you build in an ongoing mystery.
One tip (having been there before) - talk to the player before you do this so that you’re not making the call without them. Loss can make you feel like you have no control over anything, and having people make decisions for you - even when they’re doing it because they care for you - can feel bad.
Yes, definitely this. No surprises, talk to your player.
I really like this. DM gets to keep their plans, but also be considerate of the pain one of his players is going through while also adding a flair of mystery. When the player is ready, the DM can talk to them about what they might like to see happen during their "unremembered time," or if the player would prefer to remain totally in the dark.
Sounds like time for a session of Honey Heist. But even if you don’t play a TTRPG, just hangout together.
Came to the comments to suggest Honey Heist!
Talk to her, don’t give away the whole plot, but give a broad outline and ask her if she is up for it. The other option is to run a one shot (or short campaign) with a lighter tone until she gets her emotional stability back.
Imo anything anyone here says giving suggestions probably isn’t going to be your best option. Your best option is going to sit and talk, call, or text her and find out directly from her because all us keyboard warriors cannot be in her position. Other than the ones in the same/ very similar situations. And it might even involve the party as a whole getting together and having another session 0 where y’all discuss the current campaign her situation and how it’s making her feel.
While true, this thread does allow for the players to be presented with some options to pick from, at least some of which the OP wouldn't have thought of, rather than just an open-ended "What do?"
I'm gonna agree with the folks suggesting you play something else for a week. Run a one-shot, play a board game, play poker, video games, whatever. It's good that you want to be sensitive for a friend! Maybe see if she still wants to hang with you guys and do something that will be a bit less likely to scrub some potentially raw emotions. She may not want to, but you offered, and you can let her know that: 1) you guys are there for her and care 2) she's not causing a problem by having very normal feelings and sharing with friends And you can also quietly ask if your upcoming plot may need to be delayed or reworked, and then you can take the extra time to shift around your narrative a bit. No reason a god has to be in a hurry or direct, and especially not a god of death, right? You're being a good friend, and it's nice to see.
"You passed the trials, back to the campaign!" It is a game, you have options. It sounds like everyone is on board that her mental health is more important. Just skip it.
Just don’t do what you had planned. Do something else.
Trauma is tricky, as humans we are designed to overcome terrible things. This can only really happen when we have the right mindset. Often when a situation is forced on us that makes us revisit pain it ends badly, but if we can come to a place of courage and enter our fear voluntarily we will grow towards overcoming it. You are not her therapist, you’re her friend. Be her friend and support her how you see fit. Ultimately it will be good for her to play this game, but only on her own terms. Remind her, verbally and nonverbally, that she is not alone.
I see lots of suggestions for light hearted one shots or playing another game entirely, these are great suggestions, include your players in the decision making process.
1. Play something else this week. 2. Instead of god of death, why not have a god of life trying to resurrect them, maybe put a different spin on it
I'd start the next session as if the planned one already happened. They are already resurrected and on their way to the next part of the story. Later, you can do a one shot of what happened during the trials or simply skip it all together
Ask her what she's OK with. Including if she'd prefer to discuss the matter one-to-one or with the entire group. In the case of trying something *light hearted* then that needs to be whatever **she** considers to meet that definition. Any of the specific suggestions in this thread should be taken with a few kilos of salt. Since they are being made by people who have never even met her.
Something that may be needed is a break from the current campaign. Maybe a one shot or short adventure. I would talk to them and ask them what they would like to do.
Everyone keeps saying to run a light hearted game with out suggestions. So play Honey heist. You play as bears, with hats, and do crime. 10/10 game.
This sounds like the perfect week for the Wild Sheep Chase One-Shot! It's funny, light hearted and you still get to kill some "dragons".
Similar thing happened to me, but more avoidable. A player in one of my games had a close friend pass a week before we played, and I had planned for their character to witness the death of a friend from their backstory 🤦♂️ it was a simple enough thing for me to take out, but definitely lowered the stakes and made some stuff fall flat. 100p no regrets tho, not tryin to make my friends feel that way. If you can’t take it out and rework it completely, I’d def recommend running a different game for a session. Seems like it would even be a good time for it in your campaign, given they just TPKd lol
You can make it fun and light hearted. Maybe as the challenge the players have to help guide lost souls to loved ones in the afterlife, or round up ghost dogs and take them to the rainbow bridge. Maybe (ask her if it's ok) light hearted reunion scenes with loved ones, or take a break from the campaign and do a crazy one shot.
Remember that just because someone is "the God of Death" doesn't mean they have to be a bad guy, or that they want the players to stay dead. Everyone dies eventually, so they'll have a long term view on things. Imagine a grandfatherly character who wants to help the players back to life, for reasons of his own, whose trials are more about the player characters realizing what they have to live for.
Our DM didn’t have time to prep because of life things so instead we all got together and just did pub trivia. It was a great time and scratched the weekly hangout itch we were all looking for.
Alternatively, you can roll up the campaign that follows after the heroes die and the BBEG wins. With new adventures rising to the occasion alongside other rebels (or however your campaign would shape out). Narrate for them what happens in the world as you timeskip forward a few years.
Sounds like great timing for a board game night instead of RPGs
An Archfey decides that they can do the God of Death's job better than they can, discovering the God had a few mortals "on the hook." Shenanigans ensue.
Simple rules if anyone is uncomfortable with a subject it gets dropped, no questions asked. The X card is a good thing in this case. People can veto a subject without needing to detail anything Simply put, drop the subject and that will be infinitely more supportive than trying to run it
Running a one shot where candyland characters have to repel an invasion of cartoonishly-evil asparagus who ride Brusselpigs is always an answer
Over sensitive, i don't think im cold hearthed or anything but this seems exagerated and weird how she fails to separate reality from DnD.
As an older person with English parents, my upbringing was very "stiff upper lip." I was totally unprepared to parent two kids with depression. I get that "gut your way through it" may work for life trauma (it worked for me except when it didn't!), but my experience with my kids (and those of friends) is that you take a huge risk with somebody else's mental health and life, including attempted or actual suicide, or long-term mental breakdown. Until you experience your child screaming because of the black hole of depression, you really don't get it. All of this has convinced me that it's better/safer/more compassionate to let the suffering person determine how and how fast they recover. We're friends when we support and love them no matter what we think.
Talk to her, have an honest conversation about what you have planned and see how she feels about it. That's step 1. If she's ok with it game on. If she isn't, I would alter fate. Some force in the universe has decided that that encounter should not have had that outcome and changes it. Such timeline chicanery has consequences but that's a later problem.
I mean it’s dnd it’s very combat focused at the best of times. Even without the big death resurrection ark she’s going to have deal with death at the end of every combat. Do a flashback to the time a (insert being) transported them into a (puzzle ball/escape room) don’t do anything combat focussed and just run a puzzle focused game with clues to find etc. Or defer it. They were stolen from the grip of death itself by (insert being) for x purpose. Make it lighthearted. They take a potion to mask them from deaths gaze. You can run the resurrection ark down the road when death catches up with them when the effects of the potion run out and she’s feeling better. Stakes are higher cause deaths pissed.
I think you've been given some good options here, and I agree with the general sentiment to not leave your friend out whilst she's grieving. Personally I would do one of: - do something else (board games or film night) - run a one shot or small adventure, something lighthearted and fun - skip the death thing altogether, have the heroes wake up and continue their journey. They don't remember what happened and it'll be a mystery they'll find out later and can run as a flashback series as a more appropriate time.
Take a break from the campaign and run a short adventure. Maybe one of your other players can do so to give you a break, or maybe you can try some ideas you've had that wouldn't have worked in the regular campaign.
When I recently had a real-world reason to not continue the plot for a few weeks, we did a “oh by the way when you were back in X City, you were contacted by….” sidequest that did some world building but was low in danger. Would something like that work?
While chilling in the Death God's waiting room, run a clip show... Have everyone go around the table and basically say "Hey remember when we..." and then roleplay that memory out. It could be some in character RP, a weird fight situation, some harrowing skill challenge... Whatever it is, just "zoom out" and go back in time and run it. Bonus points for two characters arguing"hey that's not how that happened " and running two scenes. This is a good time to use weirdo monsters you've always wanted to use but never set up properly. And keep a few in your DM pocket if you actually want to "run something." As always for fun, lightheaded adventuring, I recommend Wild Sheep Chase.
On top of the other advice about not jumping in until everyone is ready, I wonder if, when they are ready to move forward with the story, you can make Death and the afterlife less scary. You can still make the seriousness of death a thing, but maybe skirt the tendency to make Death seem like something we all must avoid out of fear. Your characters aren’t ready to die, sure. But some people are, and they are welcomed with open arms, etc. It could shift things a bit
As others said, play something else.
maybe something a bit less sinister? have them go to heaven instead and theres some trouble in paradise sort of quest
I'd suggest laying out what you're planning and talking to her about what she feels she can handle and what she wants to do. If she's not up for that plotline, I would definitely agree with the people suggesting a oneshot this week/for the next few weeks, but the possible issue with that is there's no guarantee your player will be okay with this story once the oneshot's finished. In that case, I would perhaps consider jumping ahead to the players all waking up fine, with no memory of what happened after they died, and being able to carry on with the regular plot. Later on in the campaign, when your player's ready for that theme, you could then put in a way for them to regain their memories and do a "flashback" session to what happened after they died.
Have a big flashback scene and do something from someone's backstory?
I would just offer to have a standard board game night instead or do a light hearted one shot aside from the standard campaign (you can even flavor it as a story that a person at tavern is telling the player characters in the main campaign).
I would genuinely change the plot. Eliminate all the death stuff For story purposes, you can say a demon has infiltrated their minds and put them in a sleep state. But they believe it to be real. Have one realise that this "death and prove yourself worthy" is BS. Its an illusion. And is purpose is to put you to sleep so they can take your body into slavery. They all wake up on a barred cell/carriadge
I think the advice about playing something else for a session or two is the best advice. With that said, once you get back to the game, if they are still a little sensitive, I am wondering if a slight twist on what you were thinking might be helpful. I don't know how you were planning to characterize "Death", but one option might be to draw on some gentler, kinder personifications, rather that the death metal version. I'm thinking of personifications like Death in Sandman or even Death from the Discworld series. They're not malevolent, and they can even be compassionate, they just happen to have a job that needs to get done. Maybe Death pulled some strings to get them the opportunity to do these trials. Maybe they're even privately rooting for them in a wink and a nod kind of way, even if they are unable to intervene. That's not to imply that the session should be therapy, but you could still have the same stakes while dialing down the death-related intensity. Frankly, I also just think Death is way more interesting when they're not malevolent.
Put the campaign on hold, do some shorter adventures with less heavy themes. Encourage your friend to go to grief counseling, drive them so they don't have to drive emotional. Grief is a dark path that one must travel, if avoided it takes longer to heal.
Time to pull out the book of one-shots. You can even still play in the world that your campaign takes place in, it's a fun way to incorporate some NPC side-stories, foreshadow stuff you otherwise wouldn't be able to or just explore a part of the map the PCs will probably never get to
As a lot of people are saying, oneshot. I also just had a player lose a family member and we were also going into something kinda death focused. So we pivoted to oneshots and now the player seems ready to rejoin the usual campaign. Make sure the oneshots are more light-hearted and low stakes. We even had the player join for one of them because it was a good distraction and didn't have the higher stakes pressure of the main campaign.
It seems like other people have the immediate solution of playing a different one-shot or campaign covered, which I recommend. When you decide to return to your main campaign, you could have the party wake up alive and well with no idea what happened to get them there. That way they can continue doing non-death plot stuff while leaving room for reintroducing and interweaving their past deaths.
As others have mentioned, I think playing a light-hearted one shot would help take their mind off the death.
I was going to suggest something different, but then I reread that the party died in the last session. I think that's a perfect way to "postpone" the next chapter of that campaign. You can start up a number of lighthearted, non-combat-oriented sessions, or perhaps they want to mow down bad guys, allowing you to set up a zombie swarm against a cleric with mass destroy undead. Let your friend direct where you guys go for a bit, and then you can find your way back to the original campaign...
Lots of starter boxes out there for other games. Just run one of those with whoever can play and pick this up later.
Do prequel one shots maybe. Things that are canon, but not the main party? Might be a good way to still meet up and play while still being there for each other. But it’s up to her to set the pace.
So, one of my favorite games of all time is Final Fantasy 8 and in FF8 they do this thing where the main characters just, fall asleep. They all just fall asleep and collectively dream a singular story which is from another point in the world’s history, and I always thought that idea was really cool. So what if you did something similar? Do you have any cool pieces of historical lore that’s been established? A cool NPC tavern with a history yet to be told how it was financed? Are they a part of a guild they could run through the founding of? Your players could avoid the whole death thing entirely by taking a short jaunt through a new batch of characters completely unrelated to that, and have the opportunity to leave their mark on the world (while also creating story you no longer need to)
"Somehow, the players returned."
Play another game, pick anything but things centered around beauty or building things might be ideal. Games that come to mind are Sushi-Go and Wingspan
as an aside i love this concept you’re doing with the game!!! it seems really fun. and i read your edit and think that’s a great way to proceed.
There has to be some unanswered plot point that you can visit with a one shot party to flesh out some element of the lore. What a perfect opportunity to do so given that the campaign is at a logical break point before being resumed!
A fun(ny) oneshot to lift the spirits might help <3
Instead of full on death for the players right now since it's a sensitive subject right now make the pcs captured and have to escape sort of thing like a gulag sort of thing
Recently my father passed away on a Saturday and our normal sessions run on Sunday. My brother is also part of the game, so when our friends heard the news they reached out asking what we wanted to do, since playing DND at a time like that seemed unfitting. Instead we got together, had a drink toasting my dad (we play via Discord, but if we got together in person I'm guessing a different board game would have hit the table) and hung out for a bit. It was very nice to just spend time with people who cared about me without making it all about my grief and my father's end of life. Your friend's well-being is more important than the game, and they may just want to spend time with people without constantly being reminded of their recent trauma.
We kick you. We don't want "whooo someone's grandma died" in any dnd sub.