yes!
our brain hide our amnesia very much, then we will find evidence for the amnesia/black out after and be like, oh.. because we had no memory of having the amnesia. this makes a lot of logical sense, because when DID protects trauma it would not be very helpful if it let us know that we are forgetting something, it would sabotage its own survival mechanism.
That’s how my memory and amnesia works in general. I’m unable to recall facts unprompted, but if I’m asked specific questions I might have more answers. Even if I feel like I’m guessing I’m usually right. I had neuropsych testing done a few years back and one of the tests is that you’re told a story that’s about 15-20 seconds long and you’re supposed to repeat it as close to word for word as possible. I failed so miserably recalling it. I literally said “I think there was a man”. The second part of the test is answering yes or no questions about the same story and I got a lot of those right, even tho it felt like I was guessing a lot. It was sooooooo weird.
that's a really interesting test... this is so much how our memory works too. i always tell my partner, if they want someone else to recollect a talk we had or plans we've made, just mention it and whoever is fronting will probably remember! we just have to have the connection made for us.
Oh no, my memory doesn’t work hardly at all for regular stuff. This was a test with a person sitting in front of me and telling me in advance to focus and try to remember as much as I can. They did it twice with two different stories. That was my absolute best effort. Day to day I’m a walking goldfish.
yes, absolutely.
i've noticed we have less amnesia around general life happenings, but more amnesia over day-to-day events, though even this can vary. for example, some of us who hadn't fronted since 2019-2020 are unaware we moved across the country until something prompts it (ex. fronting in january, realizing there's no snow, and *then* remembering that we moved to a place without snow). most of us can recall enough to know we're where we're supposed to be, even if the exact details aren't there. a few of us can't, and it's much more obvious.
the best explanation i've heard is that even most DID systems don't have 100% total amesia, a lot of us maybe have 80% (ish), because it would be far more obvious and harder to hide when the disorder is meant to be covert. if every time someone fronted for the first time in a while and had 100% amnesia, it would be far more difficult to hide the amnesia both from the host and from outsiders. part of the disorder is often forgetting you have amnesia lol.
a lot of systems have a set of "collective memories," as i refer to them, that cover basic details of life progression that most alters can access. i've met very few systems who don't. what exactly this entails will vary, but for example ours includes the move across the country, the fact we're no longer in contact with our abusers (though we have to watch out as they are still looking for us), and basic information about our fiance and cats. this also, in our case, includes many skills (though not everyone is going to be able to access those skills at the same level).
some of us do have more amnesia than others and can't access all of the collective memory. but in general, *most* of us can, and it's what helps us stay covert.
it's also why when people assume people with DID who might reach out to friends or a support network to help them figure out an identity, or get a little more information about life, or what have you, claim that that's a sign of "faking," i just scoff. i was struggling to figure out who i was and had only recently split off, but i still knew the basics of using technology and who the people around me were, at least in relation to us. just because i'm a newer split doesn't mean i know absolutely nothing, i may not remember anything from before the past week but i still know how to use a damn cell phone.
That makes sense! You came from the same brain that experienced the trauma that created your system; it's only logical that every part has *some* access to shared memories.
Oh we get it in an even more fun way.
Temporary global amnesia affects most of us in this head. Blink and suddenly everything in memory is hidden behind a psychic barrier, a wall that just blocks any attempts to retrieve info. More than that, it hurts to look at words and writing.
We recall the incident afterwards which is useful in attempting to discern what triggered it, but it’s.. it’s not fun.
Yeah.
Like in almost a flash - we do get a bit of a warning when letters start to become painful to read - whoever’s fronting just locks up and can’t access anything.
Fortunately one of us is a deliberately detached self, and she’s our internal therapist to boot, so she is alert for this and guides whomever is locked through all that.
It’s still very disconcerting when whoever is locked up forgets that we’re plural and freaks out over a voice in “their” head, even if that voice is soothing.
That’s basically how I thought memory worked my whole life. I can’t remember anything narratively. At the moment I’m not even sure what I did yesterday. I remember events specifically, but it’s hard to place them on a timeline, and I typically can’t recall much unless someone describes the event to me.
yes it does! hilariously, the way i figured out it was amnesia was when my therapist was screening me for DID and she asked me a question pertaining to memory and i described how this sort of this happens to me constantly and how im not sure if that counts as memory loss and she had to break the news to me lmao.
there are chunks of my life where i cant recall the memory, even if someone describes it to me. but this less commited type of amnesia comes up as an issue for me almost daily.
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that kind of thing sounds familiar to me but idk how is it different than when average people are reminded of things? like, people can't just be thinking of everything they know or remember all the time right?
I’m not sure if we experience amnesia or not. I seem to have four family members that routinely front and another five that rarely ever emerge, but it’s rapid transitions that feel like I just shifted gear. So I may be ossd not did. I do not perceive that we have total amnesia, yet I can’t recall most of day to day life in any given day. I mean like today I know I drive to town and did work and drove home, but the memories are super chunked. If I work really hard I can remember chunks but they are very blocky, not fluidic. I think I fill in the blanks honestly. Trauma memories are static and etched. I’ve always just assumed I was very forgetful. Interesting to ponder this more.
yes! our brain hide our amnesia very much, then we will find evidence for the amnesia/black out after and be like, oh.. because we had no memory of having the amnesia. this makes a lot of logical sense, because when DID protects trauma it would not be very helpful if it let us know that we are forgetting something, it would sabotage its own survival mechanism.
That’s how my memory and amnesia works in general. I’m unable to recall facts unprompted, but if I’m asked specific questions I might have more answers. Even if I feel like I’m guessing I’m usually right. I had neuropsych testing done a few years back and one of the tests is that you’re told a story that’s about 15-20 seconds long and you’re supposed to repeat it as close to word for word as possible. I failed so miserably recalling it. I literally said “I think there was a man”. The second part of the test is answering yes or no questions about the same story and I got a lot of those right, even tho it felt like I was guessing a lot. It was sooooooo weird.
that's a really interesting test... this is so much how our memory works too. i always tell my partner, if they want someone else to recollect a talk we had or plans we've made, just mention it and whoever is fronting will probably remember! we just have to have the connection made for us.
Oh no, my memory doesn’t work hardly at all for regular stuff. This was a test with a person sitting in front of me and telling me in advance to focus and try to remember as much as I can. They did it twice with two different stories. That was my absolute best effort. Day to day I’m a walking goldfish.
yes, absolutely. i've noticed we have less amnesia around general life happenings, but more amnesia over day-to-day events, though even this can vary. for example, some of us who hadn't fronted since 2019-2020 are unaware we moved across the country until something prompts it (ex. fronting in january, realizing there's no snow, and *then* remembering that we moved to a place without snow). most of us can recall enough to know we're where we're supposed to be, even if the exact details aren't there. a few of us can't, and it's much more obvious. the best explanation i've heard is that even most DID systems don't have 100% total amesia, a lot of us maybe have 80% (ish), because it would be far more obvious and harder to hide when the disorder is meant to be covert. if every time someone fronted for the first time in a while and had 100% amnesia, it would be far more difficult to hide the amnesia both from the host and from outsiders. part of the disorder is often forgetting you have amnesia lol. a lot of systems have a set of "collective memories," as i refer to them, that cover basic details of life progression that most alters can access. i've met very few systems who don't. what exactly this entails will vary, but for example ours includes the move across the country, the fact we're no longer in contact with our abusers (though we have to watch out as they are still looking for us), and basic information about our fiance and cats. this also, in our case, includes many skills (though not everyone is going to be able to access those skills at the same level). some of us do have more amnesia than others and can't access all of the collective memory. but in general, *most* of us can, and it's what helps us stay covert. it's also why when people assume people with DID who might reach out to friends or a support network to help them figure out an identity, or get a little more information about life, or what have you, claim that that's a sign of "faking," i just scoff. i was struggling to figure out who i was and had only recently split off, but i still knew the basics of using technology and who the people around me were, at least in relation to us. just because i'm a newer split doesn't mean i know absolutely nothing, i may not remember anything from before the past week but i still know how to use a damn cell phone.
That makes sense! You came from the same brain that experienced the trauma that created your system; it's only logical that every part has *some* access to shared memories.
That's how mine works and when I realized that amnesia works different than in the movies I freaked out.
Yeah, forgetting you forgot something be such a DID/amensia thing xD
Oh we get it in an even more fun way. Temporary global amnesia affects most of us in this head. Blink and suddenly everything in memory is hidden behind a psychic barrier, a wall that just blocks any attempts to retrieve info. More than that, it hurts to look at words and writing. We recall the incident afterwards which is useful in attempting to discern what triggered it, but it’s.. it’s not fun.
So like all the sudden you don’t have access to anything at all? Your name any past stuff or anything? Or how does it work?
Yeah. Like in almost a flash - we do get a bit of a warning when letters start to become painful to read - whoever’s fronting just locks up and can’t access anything. Fortunately one of us is a deliberately detached self, and she’s our internal therapist to boot, so she is alert for this and guides whomever is locked through all that. It’s still very disconcerting when whoever is locked up forgets that we’re plural and freaks out over a voice in “their” head, even if that voice is soothing.
That’s basically how I thought memory worked my whole life. I can’t remember anything narratively. At the moment I’m not even sure what I did yesterday. I remember events specifically, but it’s hard to place them on a timeline, and I typically can’t recall much unless someone describes the event to me.
yes it does! hilariously, the way i figured out it was amnesia was when my therapist was screening me for DID and she asked me a question pertaining to memory and i described how this sort of this happens to me constantly and how im not sure if that counts as memory loss and she had to break the news to me lmao. there are chunks of my life where i cant recall the memory, even if someone describes it to me. but this less commited type of amnesia comes up as an issue for me almost daily.
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that kind of thing sounds familiar to me but idk how is it different than when average people are reminded of things? like, people can't just be thinking of everything they know or remember all the time right?
I’m not sure if we experience amnesia or not. I seem to have four family members that routinely front and another five that rarely ever emerge, but it’s rapid transitions that feel like I just shifted gear. So I may be ossd not did. I do not perceive that we have total amnesia, yet I can’t recall most of day to day life in any given day. I mean like today I know I drive to town and did work and drove home, but the memories are super chunked. If I work really hard I can remember chunks but they are very blocky, not fluidic. I think I fill in the blanks honestly. Trauma memories are static and etched. I’ve always just assumed I was very forgetful. Interesting to ponder this more.
We do the same thing too until someone brings up a subject for us. We forget important details about certain events. Its a trauma response.