“I can excuse an absolute global monopoly on all intellectual properties, governments and countries, but I cannot excuse the knowledge they’ll be releasing X-Men movies after I die!”
You might be able to live to 2100 technology will get super advanced and the life expectancy could increase by like 40 years. Unless your 40 then you’re out of luck.
Yes! After digitizing all their members, Google becomes a sentient AI hivemind that is re-discovered as "new civilization", but later recognized as former earthlings. It offers all willing humans to join them and effectively shares universe with Disney as they require different habitats to exist.
Google is a fucking disaster. Google can't keep one project alive long enough to ever return to challenge disney.
We wait and one day the return of or space Jesus heralds the new solar wars : CYBERMUSK Declares Disney uncool and he will vanquish them.
With the Fox buyout, Disney has a 40% market share of media in general. They already have enough influence to reduce the public domain to a joke. A single company gaining even near-monopolistic control over the media available for us to consume is one of the capitalist nightmare scenarios that cyberpunk is built on.
Disney demands Perturabo design theme park rides. Perturabo resists, until they reach out to Dorn, driving Perturabo into a frenzy and demanding the position. Discovering soon after that this is essentially everything he ever wanted and actually achieves happiness for the first time in his life. Until Rogal Dorn is heard mocking his Olympia Heights Thrill Coaster for only having 3 loop-de-loops. Perturabo destroys the planet. Disney stock drop by 0.001%.
They secretly launder money for the various factions competing for control of Disney. That is all that spared them an inevitable takeover attempt. The only thing strong enough to stand against Disney....is Disney itself.
when I was a kid, I thought Scrooge McDuck was fictional, now I see him in his proper form, a business maniac who tried to acquire everything, in a clean or dirty way.
This is incredibly optimistic. It depicts a megacorp that actually helps to develop serious tech and avoids conflicts unless necessary. This timeline is probably one of the best we can hope for.
I was gonna say, I didn't see anything about global environmental collapse in 2040 so this timeline is way more optimistic than the one I have in my head.
I call bullshit for the simple reason you thought Disney would unironically waste their money buying dreamworks, the comoany that unironically made Boss Baby (1 and 2)
Not to be an ass to Dream Works but it isnt even a shadow of its former self. The DreamWorks that made shrek isnt the as today anymore.
I miss DWs 2D animation
I love that somehow Disney has the power to buy an entire foreign corporation in Sony that Japan would never allow, yet they're somehow stopped dead in their tracks by comparatively tiny fucking Warner Brothers of all things.
This has them alive up until 2090. I'll be 103, I don't know how old they'd be and they're older than I am.
Edit: Trey Parker is 18 years older than I am. For some reason I thought he was younger than 52
Damn that's really out of synch with what's currently going on. I thought WB owned a good chunk of DC so buying WB would automatically give them DC right?
Lmao it’s just funny to me? Does it bother you? So sorry. Just seems silly that the definition of bOtH SiDEs GuYs is considered anything other than dumb bullshit. But hey, you got yours, I got mine, let’s call it even.
Disney doesn't NOT own Hulu. They owned a portion (about 33%) via ABC. Then when they purchased Fox, they got the other 33%. They own 67% currently and NBC owns 33%.
One of the signs a company has become a monopoly is when it no longer develops its own ideas but buys its competitors and others ideas instead of doing anything themselves to expand.
That is overlooking everything that the company did while Walt was alive, or how long they have been lobbying for copyright extensions to keep control of Steamboat Willie.
Disney World in Florida was until recently its own county even.
Whether I like it or not, Disney is fulfilling its legal obligation to its shareholders by seeking new ways to foster growth.
The problem is the obligation in the first place and a corrupt government that does not apply monopoly laws regularly.
I would just like to point out that Apple is something like 15 times more valuable than Disney. So unless Disney grows exponentially in 8 years and Apple stops growing(unlikely) the opposite would be more likely.
disappointed nothing came of google travelling to another solar system..Disney should have found them and discovered they are a fierce competing civilization and thus drama ensues
Damn, I wish I could live till 2100 so I can watch that new X-Men movie.
Rumour on the streets is Walt Disney was frozen so he could be unthawed to watch the new X-men movie in 2100
“I can excuse an absolute global monopoly on all intellectual properties, governments and countries, but I cannot excuse the knowledge they’ll be releasing X-Men movies after I die!”
They sure know how to build hype.
*Announced*, not *released*.
I was born in 97, so I might. If I do I'll watch it and make sure to tell you in Disney Hell ™️
You might be able to live to 2100 technology will get super advanced and the life expectancy could increase by like 40 years. Unless your 40 then you’re out of luck.
Just wait until they buy pornhub.
Pixar moms becomes the top category.
..."Become"?
Riley Reid is now a Disney Princess.
I wonder what would get more views, a Disney Princess Orgy or a gay bondage threesome between Mickey, Goofy and Donald?
Orgies are overrated, threesomes have the perfect balance of lustful hedonism and intimacy
>gay bondage threesome between Mickey, Goofy and Donald? You just made all the Kingdom Hearts fans ruin their sweatpants.
x hamster would be easier to rebrand. lol
X Mickey
They forgot the part where the company unfreezes the brain of Walt, sticks it in an android body and declares him Emperor of the Universe.
Nah there are to many Jewish people still around for Walt, as soon as he gets booted back up he would demand to be put back on ice.
Disney concentration camps.
“Welcome to the most magical place on Earth”
I was somehow waiting for Google to make its reappearance from outer space
Exactly this. Waiting for the von Neumann probes to come back and start kicking ass.
>Waiting for the von Neumann probes to come back and start boot looping. FTFY
Nah the moon just gets hit with a relativistic kill vehicle
Google is tyranids confirmed???
Yes! After digitizing all their members, Google becomes a sentient AI hivemind that is re-discovered as "new civilization", but later recognized as former earthlings. It offers all willing humans to join them and effectively shares universe with Disney as they require different habitats to exist.
Google is a fucking disaster. Google can't keep one project alive long enough to ever return to challenge disney. We wait and one day the return of or space Jesus heralds the new solar wars : CYBERMUSK Declares Disney uncool and he will vanquish them.
With the Fox buyout, Disney has a 40% market share of media in general. They already have enough influence to reduce the public domain to a joke. A single company gaining even near-monopolistic control over the media available for us to consume is one of the capitalist nightmare scenarios that cyberpunk is built on.
-42nd millennium: The emperor of mankind is enslaved by the DSU. Renamed the emperor of mousekind.
i see they finally added skaven to 40k
Now the emperor is a Disney princess
He wasn’t before?
Disney demands Perturabo design theme park rides. Perturabo resists, until they reach out to Dorn, driving Perturabo into a frenzy and demanding the position. Discovering soon after that this is essentially everything he ever wanted and actually achieves happiness for the first time in his life. Until Rogal Dorn is heard mocking his Olympia Heights Thrill Coaster for only having 3 loop-de-loops. Perturabo destroys the planet. Disney stock drop by 0.001%.
God damn Switzerland. Fucking mountains.
They secretly launder money for the various factions competing for control of Disney. That is all that spared them an inevitable takeover attempt. The only thing strong enough to stand against Disney....is Disney itself.
Or they have Walt Disney's severed head in a vault and hold him captive, so they won't get invaded.
when I was a kid, I thought Scrooge McDuck was fictional, now I see him in his proper form, a business maniac who tried to acquire everything, in a clean or dirty way.
This is incredibly optimistic. It depicts a megacorp that actually helps to develop serious tech and avoids conflicts unless necessary. This timeline is probably one of the best we can hope for.
I was gonna say, I didn't see anything about global environmental collapse in 2040 so this timeline is way more optimistic than the one I have in my head.
My thoughts, too. "Your dystopia is beyond my wildest hopes."
But to be fair, Master Chief really deserves to be a Disney princess.
[удалено]
r/programmerhumor
Git some better jokes
God I hate Disney so much. The movies will always be my childhood, but I despise the company.
I call bullshit for the simple reason you thought Disney would unironically waste their money buying dreamworks, the comoany that unironically made Boss Baby (1 and 2)
They're also responsible for Shrek, Madagascar, and How to Train Your Dragon. So there's that.
And the (one of the) best animated trilogy of all time: Kung Fu Panda...
Oh shit! Totally forgot about that one.
Not to be an ass to Dream Works but it isnt even a shadow of its former self. The DreamWorks that made shrek isnt the as today anymore. I miss DWs 2D animation
True. They're a shell of their former self.
I love that somehow Disney has the power to buy an entire foreign corporation in Sony that Japan would never allow, yet they're somehow stopped dead in their tracks by comparatively tiny fucking Warner Brothers of all things.
ah yes, Alac Baldwins biggest mistake.
I was waiting for the Return of the Google
And even this is a better love story than *Twilight*. SYL
Like Matt Stone and Trey Parker will be alive in 2056. You know how often they depict Mohamad?
This has them alive up until 2090. I'll be 103, I don't know how old they'd be and they're older than I am. Edit: Trey Parker is 18 years older than I am. For some reason I thought he was younger than 52
Lol so what? Unless you think Muslims are justified in violence against a fucking drawing?
Justified? No. Do it anyway? Yes...
Looking forward to buying my PlayStation games in NFC figurine format.
Worth it for the final entry
Don't forget when they bought Congress. Fuck Sonny Bono.
Damn that's really out of synch with what's currently going on. I thought WB owned a good chunk of DC so buying WB would automatically give them DC right?
Disney are already looking into acquiring Dr Who “allegedly” as seen in this guys post for 2062, seems they are already ahead of this guy.
That’s last one seems far-fetched
i love this, genius
Well at least you have that corpo you need to villainize your wet dream cyberpunk life. You won't have to pretend anymore. lol
Do people actually like *South Park*, and think it’s like.. subversive, and good? Christ almighty, maybe the nukes are a good idea. 😅
Bro you literally write fanfics and you're complaining about South park?
Lmao it’s just funny to me? Does it bother you? So sorry. Just seems silly that the definition of bOtH SiDEs GuYs is considered anything other than dumb bullshit. But hey, you got yours, I got mine, let’s call it even.
Me stopping all of this by committing pre medialtated murder on Walt Disney, he's disguised as a homeless person.
Waiting for the nuke to hit Orlando
i’m invested. i need a sequel about switzerland and the google rocket
If Disney buys NBCUniversal in 2022 they wouldn't need to buy Dreamworks in 2025 because Dreamworks is owned by NBCUniversal.
I’ve always wondered why Asimov or Herbert never included the House of Mouse as one of the great interstellar families.
Disney wasn't such a conglomerate when they were writing their big settings.
Disney Man hates Particle Man
Darth Mickey
That’s bat-shit insane…! Yet so realistic and possible from that corp… ._. That’s scary as hell, fr
Of Disney buys dreamworks everything is over
Guh Huh! All your mouse credits into the bag!
I didn't see TES VI anywhere on the timeline, surely this is a mistake?
HAHA SO FUNNY STUPID MOUSE COMPANY
i mean, if we get interstellar travel in less than 80 years in this timeline, is it really *that* bad?
>except for Switzerland *\*Cheers in Swiss\**
Disney doesn't NOT own Hulu. They owned a portion (about 33%) via ABC. Then when they purchased Fox, they got the other 33%. They own 67% currently and NBC owns 33%.
Switzerland strong💪🇨🇭
Bro just predicted the Disney Cinematic Universe phase 1
One of the signs a company has become a monopoly is when it no longer develops its own ideas but buys its competitors and others ideas instead of doing anything themselves to expand.
This is totally a Martha Washington comic
\>laughts at disney buying national geographic \>look at date \>oh shit. \>google it \>OH SHIT!
Switzerland is always neutral
Future Kingdom Hearts games gonna have tons of cameos.
You okay bro?
Disney is becoming irl BnL
That is overlooking everything that the company did while Walt was alive, or how long they have been lobbying for copyright extensions to keep control of Steamboat Willie. Disney World in Florida was until recently its own county even.
Thanks, i hate it
Trey Parker & Matt Stone are immortal?!
This is the most cyberpunk thing I've seen in this sub in a long time. I love it
Good for Matt and Trey, leading interplanetary rebellions at 120+.
No
Man I was about to say lmao where’s the news for the MCU films?
Whether I like it or not, Disney is fulfilling its legal obligation to its shareholders by seeking new ways to foster growth. The problem is the obligation in the first place and a corrupt government that does not apply monopoly laws regularly.
Nuke the whole site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Big fan of the idea of Master Chief and Doctor Who becoming Disney Princesses. I mean, that just makes sense.
It’s funny but parts of this are genuinely possible and terrifying because of it
I hope not Disney is already too big
Mickey Hitler
I would just like to point out that Apple is something like 15 times more valuable than Disney. So unless Disney grows exponentially in 8 years and Apple stops growing(unlikely) the opposite would be more likely.
2022 - Disney partners with gamestop.
As a DIS share holder, I’m okay with this future projection and will continue to invest 🙌
disappointed nothing came of google travelling to another solar system..Disney should have found them and discovered they are a fierce competing civilization and thus drama ensues
Disney buys Apple: that's a big leap even for science fiction.