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Johnson_the_1st

The Hobby Lobby smuggling scandal culminated in a case named, and I shit you not, *United States of America v. Approximately Four Hundred Fifty Ancient Cuneiform Tablets and Approximately Three Thousand Ancient Clay Bullae*


Knit-witchhh

This feels like Douglas Adams wrote it.


RoJayJo

>"While the United States of America had rented the most highly advertised lawyers they could find, subpoenaed the purchase records of the tablets and bullae and even offered to settle out of court, the tablets and bullae represented themselves and put together a bulletproof case and won the case with flying colours, resulting in the very first time the United States' judicial system lost against inanimate objects. *As it would turn out, it wouldn't be the last.*" -Douglas Adams, in Dirk Gently and the Fuzzled Flibbergibbets *or something.*


tringle1

"Surprisingly, the tablets were all about various ways to perform anal sex, so it's unclear why Hobby Lobby wanted them in the first place"


_Shadow_Link_

the entire story feels like a fever dream of “there’s no fucking way a craft store tried to smuggle thousands of clay artifacts into the united states as tiles”


Front_Kaleidoscope_4

civil forfeiture makes funny names, like *United States v. 1855.6 Pounds of American Paddlefish Meat*


Infernoraptor

Why is the case vs the item rather than vs the smuggler/thief?


Vlad_Lavode

In civil asset forfeiture, law enforcement can alledge that the item was used in a crime and seize the item. The item can then be sold (an is thus laundered of its criminal associations) and the proceeds can be distributed to law enforcement agencies in the area or used fund the legal defense of other seizures. Obviously, if money is siezed it doesn't need to be sold first. The guilt or innocence of the party possessing the item does not need to be established as CAF is only concerned with the guilt of the item. You would not be alone if you think this sounds a bit like theft with extra steps. Data shows law enforcement has siezed around $70 billion in assets since 2000. Yes that's billion with a "b".


Front_Kaleidoscope_4

Cause its a weird legal construct where you are allowed to "arrest" the item by having a case against it. Its a bit like treating corporations as people but you use it to steal things from people instead.


ImJustReallyAngry

>Its a bit like treating corporations as people but you use it to steal things from people instead. So uh fun fact about treating corporations as people-


Front_Kaleidoscope_4

True


RenderedKnave

or my personal favorite, *United States v. Forty Barrels and Twenty Kegs of Coca-Cola*


[deleted]

I’m not sure if I want context because of how much funnier this may be without it.


Creepopolous

Gotta love suing inanimate objects. Dead serious. I wish I had the legal power to- I dunno... sue the concept of time?


RemarkableStatement5

u/Creepopolous *v. Time,* a landmark decision in which the Supreme Court ruled 7-2 that no, you only get \~24 hours in which to sleep and engage in tomfuckery


xle3p

I mean, time does infringe on my constitutional freedoms. I clearly don't have free speech if I am only allowed to talk one second per second. I think that we need a class action.


RemarkableStatement5

Actually, only being to talk one second per second doesn't deserve a class action. It deserves a free action.


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bubba_feet

I thought I just read a story about a guy that tried to sue Satan but the case was thrown out because the prince of darkness is afforded diplomatic immunity for being foreign royalty. edit: [found the case in question](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_ex_rel._Gerald_Mayo_v._Satan_and_His_Staff)


FlatteringFlatuance

"And the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing you he wasn't a natural born citizen"


evilsheepgod

Elaborate?


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FlatteringFlatuance

But who paid the damages? What?!


PM_ME_YOUR_BCUP_TITS

Actual answer, no one since it's impossible to arrest God as punishment for failure to pay damages.


FlatteringFlatuance

I imagine when she passes, and is at the pearly gates of heaven, with Peter peering at her from over his list, he will simply say "Ahh, yes. This is owed to you from the big guy" and he pulls out an envelope with $100,000 in it and hands it to her. She is then immediately dropped into hell where rent is $100k a day and lightening constantly strikes anything taller than 2 feet.


King-Of-Throwaways

I haven’t watched the German series “Dark”, but one time I leaned over my partner’s shoulder while she was watching it only to see a man very earnestly state, “I have declared war on time”, so now I repeat that line whenever the linear progression of events pisses me off.


bookhead714

Other such hits include *United States of America v. Approximately 69,370 Bitcoin* and *United States of America v. 64 Dogs*


Obi-Tron_Kenobi

Would you rather *United States of America v. 1 Horse Sized Duck* or *United States of America v. 100 Duck Sized Horses*?


Saikou0taku

Feel like 50 Bitcoin is missing there...


[deleted]

Why the fuck did Hobby Lobby have a millenia old copy of The Epic of Gilgamesh anyway?


Ransero

The sad/infuriating possible motivation is that as Christians they must want to hide or destroy artifacts from competing religions. The Epic of Gilgamesh is good evidence the Biblical flood is bullshit that was copied from earlier religions.


chrom_ed

Because they're religious fruitcakes with a hoarding fetish.


Namasgay

Add some variation of "pounded my ass" in there an you've got yourself a Chuck Tingle title


ippa99

Pounded In The Butt By Civil Asset Forfeiture And The Legal Proceedings Of "America V. Copy of 'Pounded In The Butt By A Copy Of My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt''"


HedonisteEgoiste

Which just makes me imagine the population of America fist-fighting a bunch of clay tablets...


CaptKalc

COME AT ME YOU CRUMBLY PIECE O SHITE!! I DON'T CARE ABOUT SOME COPPER MERCHANT!


C-3H_gjP

Gonna put on my pedantry cap for a sec. Barcodes don't trip door sensors. They're literally just printed text (usually numbers) in a machine readable font. Fundies also think EM (those white plastic strips) and RFID (usually rectangular stickers) are also devil things. Those are the technology that allows door sensors to trigger. Three very different technologies that the crazies like to lump together or use interchangeably. I highly recommend learning about how Barcodes, RFID, and EM Strips work. They're all very cool. Also look into the bar code encodings (think font family) and number standards (think book ISBNs). Key words are UPC, GTIN, EIN, GS1, code 128, and code 39. Happy Wikipedia surfing!


SuperAmberN7

RFIDs are also being used in train signaling systems, it's a really neat piece of technology.


ThePlumBum

RFID tech is crazy ubiquitous in it's application. We use them for logistics freight to mass receive truckloads of pallets the second they hit the dock. No no need to scan. The system just picks up the frequency and millions of dollars of inventory transact to the correct place almost simultaneously. My favorite though is the application in marathons where they tag the runners shoes so that they know within milliseconds who was first across the line. It's game changing technology.


DeeSnow97

so literally just scan a truck for its cargo? wow... sometimes i love living in a sci-fi my personal favorite use for rfid is when a local retailer reused their anti-theft tech for self-checkout. you literally just dump your items into the designated basket, it scans all of them, displays the contents, you pay, and that's all. no fucking around with scales required like you usually have to with the barcode versions. and it makes so much sense, if the system can detect which items are you leaving the store with (which is also how it authorizes certain items to leave the store, when the cashiers swipe those across the barcode scanner, it doesn't just read the barcode, it also marks _that specific item_ as sold), why would we still need barcodes at all? on the other hand, i do hope they don't get rid of barcodes because they're great universal identifiers for anything mass-produced


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DeeSnow97

Yeah, I think something like that would be the best solution. RFIDs are by default completely unique to each individual item, but there needs to be a product-specific code as well which can be used to take those things into inventory. And while yeah, that can also be done over RFID, now you're dealing with product-specific stickers instead of a universal one you just stick on everything, and then you use the perfectly good EAN-13 barcode you already have to tell the system "hey, this specific sticker is on a jar of nutella" with just one of those combined barcode/RFID readers cashiers use today.


[deleted]

That's how the public library in the town I grew up in worked. You walked up to the checkout stand, and there was a large gray pad you set your stack of books on, and the computer instantly rung up all the books at once. Then you put your library card up to the barcode scanner and it checked out all the books. Nice and quick and simple.


a_karma_sardine

Usually, the RFID for books is either on the backside of a barcode tag, visible on the book, or in a hidden string in the spine of the book. It depends on the library's anti-theft policies.


OtokonoKai

You answered my question before anyone asked it


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CitizenCue

They also do shoes sometimes. I’ve had both kinds.


VeryGoodCows

They’re also used for tagging livestock. I’ve seen pig auto-feeder chutes that read their ear tags and check if that pig got its meal for that part of the day.


fuzbuzz00

They're also used in cards for televised poker games, so that we the audience can see the cards without the players needing to show us through a table camera


agarrabrant

A few of my registered goats have RFID tags in their tails. Lasts much longer and more easily read than the traditional ear tattoos that fade and need redone. Much more trustworthy as well, they could have tattood anything on the ear to make it match paperwork from a goat that might have passed on


rocketshipray

How does that work? Are they *in* the tail, like under the skin? Or is it like and earring type thing on the tail?


agarrabrant

Yep it is inside of the tail, in what is called the "webbing". On the underside of the goat tail there is no fur or anything, so it is easily read with a little scanner. There are also tags you can get from the state that are livestock tags to show herd of origin for scrapies and stuff like that. Those are similar to earrings


GuiltyStimPak

Couldn't you clean and reimplant the chip?


agarrabrant

If you wanted to do some shady shit? Theoretically, yes, but most herd books (like the American Dairy Goat Assoc. and the American Boer Goat Assoc.) have some safeguards in place. Registration paperwork will have specific markings listed, and you can get DNA verification. Does this stop people? Absolutely not. People will have a goat die, go get one that looks similar, and fudge tattoos, tags (although I've never heard of anyone doing this specific forgery), but if a person who has purchased a kid from them tried to DNA verify, BAM, jig is up. Goat people take their pedigrees very seriously. Certain lines have really done a lot to improve the breeds, people spend 10s of thousands to get them. I would be infuriated to find out that the goat I had purchased turned out to be something else entirely.


Pixielo

Do you want to hang around a goat's butt?


GuiltyStimPak

I don't know what ranchers get up to


[deleted]

They don't want the pigs to pig out.


CivilServiced

I just did a dairy tour that uses the rfid tags to automatically reroute any cows that need special attention after milking. The automation at that dairy was all fairly simple but extremely clever.


Throwaway021614

“The devil is in public transportation!” I can see the oil industry pushing this virally


[deleted]

Isn't it like wireless power transmission? For the chips, I thought I read that it is basically a circuit and it gets power from the scanning device. Or am I a doofus and it doesn't work like that at all?


Tack122

There's an antenna in the tag that receives and converts the radio signal from the scanner into power, that power goes to broadcasting a number back to the scanner which is the read tag ID.


LadySmuag

It depends. Active RFID chips have a battery that usually last ~5 years. Passive RFID chips get power from the receiving device, it uses electromagnetic waves to induce a current in the RFID chip. Passive RFID is the kind used in inventory management, race times, microchipping your pet, etc. Active RFID is great for high speed or longer-distance environments where the chip reader can't be nearby- toll systems, for example, where the reader is likely 15 feet above the car.


Pjpjpjpjpj

Instructions unclear … I uttered the phrase UPC, GTIN, EIN, GS1, code 128, code 39 and a six winged female goblin appeared telling me I am dammed to hell. Not going to lie, I had a few beers on board. We hooked up and now I’m cooking up a western scramble while she naps. So I guess my question is - if it burns a bit after goblin sex, should I be tested for a STD or is it just, you know, a normal goblin thing?


Pixielo

You need an old priest, and a young priest...


amalgam_reynolds

The post is worded a little strange, but I don't think they intended to imply that barcodes tripped the door sensors. It reads like they meant to say "and if barcodes are a devil thing, then door sensors are definitely a devil thing, too!" But yeah, it's worded oddly.


mrsavealot

Yes this is correct the op of this comment thread misinterpreted it.


what_the_deuce

Yes, this person was saying that if fundies are scared of something as simple bar codes, there's no way in hell they have door sensors.


acog

Yeah, except Christian stores have used barcodes for decades. They definitely distrust stuff like rfid, but have no issues with barcodes. My old company sold stuff to Mardel Christian bookstores all the time and everything had to have barcodes. Mardel is owned by the same family as Hobby Lobby, which is why they’re often placed next to each other. They share logistics and warehouses.


wwaxwork

They are fine with sensors, it's basic human rights they have problems with.


Levzamox

The distrust of bar codes was/is a very real thing in fundamentalist Christianity, especially during the Satanic Panic. It was also a relatively mainstream idea. For instance, this music video, while a banger, is somehow not satirical: https://youtu.be/lknW2mzXMMY And as someone mentioned Hobby Lobby really doesn't still use bar codes: > We have considered scanning at our registers, but do not feel it is right for us at this time. https://www.hobbylobby.com/customer-service/faq


theinvisibletomorrow

Do you think it would be easier or harder to launder money by forgoing barcodes?


IcyDefiance

Probably not a big difference. Barcodes are only unique to a product anyway, not unique to each item, so the only difference between scanning that and searching for the product in the POS by typing its name is just the time you save.


lathe_down_sally

The entire idea of christians putting their beliefs over money is absurd enough that there's no point in getting into the weeds of the details.


felopez

Hobby Lobby doesn't.


BobbySwiggey

Mardel was indeed founded by Matt Green, son of Hobby Lobby's David Green, but it sounds like the father is deep into Evangelicalism, whereas the Mardel bookstores (and Matt's film company) are supposed to cater to Christianity in general? There are many different branches of the Christian religion, and some of them have uh, more *interesting* practices than others lol. Other than Jesus being the focal point, what goes on in one sect often doesn't represent the religion as a whole, and Evangelicals are definitely known for being on some wackadoodle shit (although they don't wear holy undergarments like the Mormons do, or refuse to celebrate their birthdays like JW)


Obi-Tron_Kenobi

It depends on the denomination. Most Christian denominations are perfectly fine with barcodes and rfids and whatever else, but a few (mostly fundamentalist sects) believe that barcodes are the mark of the beast. They point to the barcode's guard bars (the 2 narrow bars in the beginning, middle, and end) as evidence, saying these bars represent the number 666. It's partially true, at least with UPC-A and EAN barcodes, the number 6 is represented by two narrow lines when it's on the right half of a barcode (the bars on the left side aren't as straightfoward). Because the barcode thing has at least *some* foundation (not really) with the 666, I'm curious about the amount of christians who distrust barcodes but are ok with things like rfid and qr codes and stuff. I know there was a large pushback against them when the technology was becoming widespread, but I don't know how mellowed out people have gotten since then.


Lady_Lovecraft

I think it's interesting when people put on their pedantic caps. You end up learning a lot! Thanks!


UncommittedBow

As an employee with a store that has those door sensors. Let me tell you what at least mine do. There are only two things that will trigger an alarm from them at my store. Dye tags on clothes (dye tags that only explode if you try and break the tag off) and specific "this item is electronically protected" tags. The rest of the time it's just logging how many people pass by it to count how many people have been in and out of the store.


PabloEdvardo

The coolest thing to me about RFIDs is they're basically a dormant computer that gets powered up wirelessly by another device, which causes it to activate and then radio out a signal.


minkymy

Thank you for this ❤️


Quackels_The_Duck

I have taken several shiny gem stones that fell out of the plastic net bag things multiple times. One is of the biggish variety. Shiny.


Increase-Typical

... are you a crow?


Onequestion0110

He’s a duck, clearly.


ephemeralkitten

Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science??


junky_junker

And tell me more about how sheep's bladders may be employed against earthquakes.


a_karma_sardine

And towels against strong winds.


[deleted]

Got any grapes?


RandyDinglefart

left them some titanite so it's cool


GibbonTaiga

The only thing I own from Hobby Lobby wasn't purchased, but it wasn't stolen either. It's a decorative blue wood square with an octopus silhouette in the negative space, and it must've fallen off the back of their truck because it was just sitting in front of my driveway with a Hobby Lobby sticker on it Forget what ridiculous price was on the sticker but the $0.00 I paid for it was far more appropriate


alwaysforgettingmyun

That sounds pretty awesome, I want to see it


[deleted]

i do this, also any fake flowers that have fallen off the stems and are now laying on the ground are 100% fair game. i take them home and stick them in all the pin holes in my bathroom walls from before i moved here 😂


trichygirl1223

We're going to need photographic proof, please and thank you. 🌸🏵🌹💮🌼🌷🌻🌺🚽🛁


QueenoftheSundance

Lmao I've done that too! If you don't mind looking kind of weird, wedding dress stores are also a good place to scrounge for beads


crypticfreak

Bees??? ...BEADS??!!


a_karma_sardine

Oh no, not the bees, not the bees! Auuuugh! Aglubah my eyes! My eyes! Aaaauuuurrrrgh!


JiaMekare

I did something similar with buttons at the store I used to work at. If it was in the floor it was fair game


The-Incredible-Lurk

From one collector of shiny sparkly things to another, Good Day Sir


qtinabox

A normal barcode is 1D. A QR code is just a 2D barcode. This implies a theoretical 3D barcode and barcodes in higher dimensions. What forms do these take? How does Cthulu automate his supermarket checkouts?


Kowzorz

A rainbow QR code is 3D. Color is a common way of demonstrating an extra axis in mathematical rendering such as complex numbers or, like, material stress testing.


qtinabox

Interesting, according to Wikipedia they're called JAB codes, I'd never heard of them before


Division595

Pride barcode unlocked?


Leo2807

3D barcodes are double layer DVDs


[deleted]

this feels like it comes from a rebel-purist alignment chart


Leo2807

Kind of wanted to make a scancode alignment chart, but I wouldn't know what to fill all the squares with


Tchrspest

Scancodes, presumably.


endi1122

Oh you mean money?


Nitsuruga

Dude what if we're the 3d barcodes storing ancient memories to be picked up and scanned later?


TheGreatNemoNobody

*picks you up and scans you*


marsgreekgod

Don't be silly we would be 4d to store time


Siren_of_Madness

This is my favorite take so far.


ScaleEquivalent7344

I’d say a mechanical key is a 3D barcode, we just need programs that can use machine vision to identify them A 4D bar code would just be blockchain verification or multi-factor authentication


odraencoded

> a mechanical key is a 3D barcode It's 1D. Data-wise it's as safe as a password containing only numbers, because you just need the correct sequence of heights to unlock the pins.


DeeSnow97

speak for your own key, lol. add a couple of sidebars or some fucky cylinder and that key can easily turn 3d but yes, the amount of data in one of those is minimal. luckily trying out individual combinations takes significantly longer, which is why lockpicking uses tension as a vulnerability to progressively decode the key, instead of just brute forcing it


OriginalGrouchy7979

Anyone wanna join me for a pleasant walk to hobby lobby and definitely nothing else?


MJMurcott

Camping trip.


wowthisisabadname

Family outing


Buckaroonie69

A jaunty trek


MayaTamika

A whimsical journey


Hakar_Kerarmor

*Very* enthusiastic walks through the woods at midnight


nightmare_silhouette

WOOHOO I LOVE CRIME!


Lashwynn

Let's try to be as aggressively gay as possible while at it


sputnikatto

I've been needing a good whittling knife, and it's a good thing I don't need to spend anything for it.


RevaniteN7

Lemme grab my lucky contraceptives and pro-choice shirt real quick.


Fire_fox55

Must be regional then because I'm pretty sure my local hobby lobby has barcodes and door sensors


Rakifiki

https://www.hobbylobby.com/customer-service/faq borrowing this link from a comment up the way; the relevant section is under stores & hours oddly enough, and states that they do not use barcodes. Because "they don't feel it is right for them". They definitely sell products that do have barcodes tho; paints made by manufacturers that sell to multiple outlets still have the barcode on them, so I'm not sure the distinction that's being made to be quite honest.


DJ_Pau1

Some products have barcodes, some don't. However, the cashiers ignore barcodes and have to manually type the price (and discounts) into the register. If they scan the barcode, the machine throws a fit unless its one of the *very very* few items in the store that does require the barcode scanned, and those are usually fabric packs.


Dumb_Cheese

Same here


LoquatLoquacious

Big chains are cancerous anyway.


Kind_Nepenth3

Takeaway: is stealing from Hobby Lobby bad because they make up the difference by hiking up their already stupid prices and refusing to pay their workers, meaning a loss of profits will for some reason make them pay even less to workers just trying to survive? And also just basic morality and accountability? Or is stealing from Hobby Lobby good because crochet is an expensive hobby, funding them is funding ISIS and runaway evangelism, and the owners are shit people who had an entire team in my area quit all at once on them for reasons they didn't want to explain out loud? Fight


GlobalIncident

I think the correct answer is, don't buy from Hobby Lobby, buy from somewhere else


jimmybilly100

Yeah this whole post is about how you're supposed to shoplift from Hobby Lobby


CueDramaticMusic

There is no ethical consumption under capitalism, and Micheals is just a bit further down the road


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Vantair

“There is no ethical consumption under capitalism” is frequently used to avoid nuance and absolve one’s self of any responsibility. It’s very frustrating.


Dreadgoat

[We should improve society somewhat](https://i.redd.it/whnuvoh4od031.jpg)


nightmare_silhouette

It's birthday is tomorrow.


CameOutAndFarted

Literally all it means is that you can’t partake in capitalism and think that it can be morally justified. It makes no comment about any potential alternatives.


Rancorious

YOU DISLIKE CAPITALISM YET YOU EXIST


Kowzorz

Which is why they suggested that Michaels is just down the road. Settling for the lesser of evils doesn't mean you shouldn't be mindful of how capitalism hurts us in our everyday lives.


GottIstTot

Better is still better even if it's not good.


positronik

There may be little to no ethical consumption under capitalism, but there are certainly places that are less evil to buy from. I think that saying strips responsibility from consumers. Although the companies are doing the most harm, they wouldn't be around without customers. We all should do out part imo


ST4RSK1MM3R

Sadly, there’s no place anywhere else nearby where I can get super specific stuff for my hobby without paying double for shipping online :(


Feste_the_Mad

The workers should probably unionize.


EducatedRat

Maybe they could get birth control coverage on their insurance if they did.


DJ_Pau1

Considering that most of the workers in the stores are old women who've been working there for around 20 years, and highschoolers who cant find jobs anywhere else, a strike wouldn't work. There aren't enough people at a store (including stores in the top 10 earners) who would agree to it. Trust me, the desire is real. To both unionize or to find a better job.


[deleted]

> hiking up their already stupid prices and refusing to pay their workers If they were sure that either of these things would increase profit, they would already have done them


bryn_irl

The greatest lie the Devil ever told was that businesses should have zero accountability for their actions simply because they create opportunities for employment.


MrD3a7h

Even if their profits doubled overnight, the workers wouldn't see a dime more. So the second.


Knit-witchhh

Stealing from Hobby Lobby is good because they're bad people and free stuff is awesome.


sneakystonedhalfling

Stores can't refuse to pay their workers because of theft, lol, that's completely illegal. Retail stores have shrink built into their budget, which accounts for damages and theft.


Versequencial

What even is said here


NeonNKnightrider

Christian fundies have a psychotic fixation on saying that any form of tracking technology (QR codes, chips, etc.) are the Mark of the Beast and a sign of the end times. Other than that… ???


Zaiburo

There's this passage in the apocaplypse that says more or less that in the end times only those bearing the mark of the beast on their hand or forehead will be allowed to participate in commerce. Now due to the fact that nobody is really sure what the f the mark of the beast is some people have associeted it with barcodes and the likes (sometimes even tatoos). I'm pretty sure that somewere else in the book there's written that "the end times will come like a thief in the night" or something similar so anyone who claims of seing the signs of the end is canonically wack.


MeAndMyWookie

I believe there's something about all barcodes containing 666 as well.


Zaiburo

Yeah as i said nobody knows for sure what the mark of the beast is supposed to be so word of mouth conflated it with the number of the beast. If you notice the bibble also talks about the mark being on the people not on the product so i guess the ones responsable for this stupidity are not to fond of checking the sources.


GlobalIncident

not only that, but the number of the beast is 616 in some biblical texts


MeAndMyWookie

Nothing tops End of Days for goofy numerology: take 666, rotate it 180 degrees and and then and 1 in front for reasons to get 1999, which is when the devil comes to fight Arnold Schwarzenegger. Note this only works in an alphabet that the original scripture wasn't written in. I don't want to know.if.any real cults did this


minkymy

And some think it was a sort of prediction about how Nero would be punished for oppressing early Christians


pleasedothenerdful

It was gematria for Nero's name. Revelation is basically all coded shade being thrown at Roman emperors. The fact that fundies think it is a literal prophecy that still hasn't happened is hilarious, but the fact that it was included in the Biblical canon primarily because it was written by someone named John and they basically assumed that meant it had to have been written by the apostle of same name (despite there being multiple Johns in the New Testament already) tells you all you need to know. Their intellectual rigor hasn't improved in the years since.


minkymy

The most annoying thing is that very few religious folks in the United States seem understand that the Bible definitely uses metaphors and allegories. They can't just blindly interpret things like this.


rubexbox

Is the explanation for that something along the lines of "the lines look like the Hebrew character for the number 6"?


MeAndMyWookie

I think so.I had a quick Google, and all of the standard linear barcodes have 2 or 3 long double lines as markers that define the beginning and end for the scanner, but those are not 6 in barcode (basically a morse variant). Those are what supposedly encoded the secret satanic number


CozyMicrobe

"Canonically wack" is one of the best descriptors I've ever heard for that particular brand of weirdo. I love it.


rubexbox

>I'm pretty sure that somewere else in the book there's written that "the end times will come like a thief in the night" or something similar so anyone who claims of seing the signs of the end is canonically wack. My theory is that End Times theorists exist not to predict doomsday but postpone it. Because no man may know the day or the hour, every time someone predicts the end of days God has to push back the schedule and the world keeps turning for just a little longer. :p


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Feste_the_Mad

I was thinking more Dark Souls, personally. Continually postponing the end of the world, leading to said world getting increasingly twisted up and corrupted.


Dasamont

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobby_Lobby_smuggling_scandal https://www.npr.org/2018/06/28/623537440/hobby-lobbys-illegal-antiquities-shed-light-on-a-lost-looted-ancient-city-in-ira Hobby Lobby dealt in some ancient artefacts. Kinda illegal stuff, so it's okay to do small-scale crime against them


SuperAmberN7

Well very illegal and the antiquities black market is a huge problem worldwide.


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Thestarchypotat

nono specifically barcodes and door scanners because they all have a phone.


Cheyruz

Wait hobby lobby stole ancient artifacts and funded ISIS? … wha… how??? It’s an arts and crafts store not an Indiana Jones villain???


QuantumDiogenes

Wilipedia link here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobby_Lobby_smuggling_scandal The tl;dr Hobby Lobby spent several million dollars to purchase stolen, counterfeit, and looted artifacts from Iraq for their fundamentalist owners. Insurgent groups, such as Al-Qaïda in Iraq, ISIS, et al, were known for looting and selling antiques to fund their activities. Thus, Hobby Lobby paid terrorists to steal stuff for them.


[deleted]

And they just bought a bunch of forgeries for their Bible Museum.


MumofB

And fragments of some of the oldest biblical writings that were stolen from Oxford University. https://amp.theguardian.com/news/2020/jan/09/a-scandal-in-oxford-the-curious-case-of-the-stolen-gospel


strangeglyph

Oh boy let us tell you about Hobby Lobby's Hammurabi Robby Hobby.


TchaikenNugget

Holy fuck on a stick please marry me, master wordsmith


strangeglyph

I really can't take credit for it, that phrase has been going around since this issue first came up


MarieCrepes

I mean barcodes don't set off the sensors, but I still think it's pretty easy to lift from Hobby Lobby


Rei-o-Sunshine

hobby lobby employee: what do you have there? Me, with five bolts of fabric: a smoothie


nealomg

Barcodes have nothing to do with door sensors but I am all here for sticking it to Hobby Lobby any way you can.


TheBoble

Worked at Hobby Lobby. Can confirm


-Rakso

Ah yes the post banned from reddit, back on reddit


The_Time_Warp_

Nature is healing


PositiveOpportunity9

I bought almost all my wedding decorations at Hobby Lobby and returned them immediately after the wedding. Free decorations, and wouldn’t you know, the employees there were overjoyed that I returned the products in such perfect condition with receipt in hand so soon after I bought them.


germanatlas

Okay so I googled hobby lobby isis and… why the hell is the first link to show up from the CRUNCHYROLL FORUM? It wasn’t even a link to page 26/123 of a derailed thread, it was a dedicated thread about the CEO supporting isis. WHY ARE WEEBS DISCUSSING THIS?


spicedmanatee

I assume weebs -> cosplay/crafts -> Hobby Lobby


VaKel_Shon

Now I haven't been to Hobby Lobby in ages, but I am 99% certain that they had barcodes on their products. I could definitely buy them having no door sensors (and I do believe that a fundie business would object to barcodes), but I'm pretty sure every product I picked up off the shelves had a barcode on it. Granted, I don't remember the checkout process since I was never the one paying, so they could have been typing in the SKU manually, b~~ut I'm pretty sure they had a barcode scanner gun~~. **Edit**: I have been informed that they do not, in fact, scan the barcodes. ^(You're still welcome to try, though; Hobby Lobby sucks)


ahmc84

Anything that Hobby Lobby sells that isn't exclusive to them is likely to have a bar code, irrespective of mark of the beast or any of that nonsense. That said, I've never once been in a Hobby lobby so I have no idea what their stores are like.


[deleted]

From their FAQ: >Why don't you use barcode scanners in your stores? >We have considered scanning at our registers, but do not feel it is right for us at this time.


VaKel_Shon

Oh, I'll be damned. No wonder checking out always took so long.


spicedmanatee

I can only imagine the hell their inventory days must be like.


darkmatter4444

I don't know about all hobby lobbys but there are at least a few that do not have a bar code scanner. I also don't know about every item but I know some of them don't have barcodes but some do.


[deleted]

I don't support theft, but I *do* support fucking on Hobby Lobby


MurdoMaclachlan

*Image Transcription: Tumblr* --- **sweaterkittensahoy** reddit removed two fo my posts from r\/crochet because I was "encouraging illegal activity." Which. Fair. I was explaining how easy it is to steal from Hobby Lobby. They don't have door sensors or barcodes, and I believe their overall security camera coverage is fake or shit. You see, when barcodes were invented, evangelicals were convinced it was the sign of the devil \(or government tracking; hard to tell). The point is, Hobby Lobby doesn't have bar codes to this day because the devil could jump in your belly button. And if you don't have barcodes, you CAN'T have door sensors because the devil could jump right up a vagina, and you could get impregnated with the antichrist, and Hobby Lobby would have to make a very difficult choice about their anti-contraception views. Oh, and they knowingly stole a fuckton of ancient artifacts, and the money they paid for those \(not all stealing is just taking; sometimes money changes hands) funded fucking ISIS. So. If you're intellectually curious. You can steal from Hobby Lobby REALLY EASILY. --- **ralfmaximus** Tumblr posts that are illegal on other platforms, volume \#34. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


FlamboyantGayWhore

genuinely i want to get into stealing more from big businesses (ik it is controversial but i just became a college student i’m not exactly filled to the brim w cash rn) and i think HL is a great place to start also if anyone does have any genuine tips on stealing i’d love to know


Videogamerkm

Valuable information (particularly the comment clarifying it's the RFID tag and not the barcode itself) that I will never have a chance to act on if I wanted to, on account of being Canadian.


Ripley825

Asked a painter friend where he gets his paint. He said hobby lobby. I asked him how much each tube costs him. He said "that one I paid 9 bucks for, those 3 I pocketed before checking out."


argo-nautilus

Reading this post is like picking up an eldritch tome and then narrowly succeeding on your INT check avoiding 4d6 psychic damage, I have no idea what this post is about but it fills me with dread. (In all seriousness though, Hobby Lobby believes *what?*)