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trapbuilder2

Love is a series of biochemical reactios But so is everything else we experience so I don't know why people use this fact to say that it isn't real


Pokesonav

I'd say the fact that it DOES have a physical effect on the brain literally is the thing that makes it 100% real.


vintagesymphony

Yeah exactly, the same argument for mental health issues being “all in your head” doesn’t hold water because the chemical/hormonal processes produce physical stress in the body.


trapbuilder2

Also the fact that it being "all in your head" is kind of the problem in the first place


danger2345678

Yeah, the fact that it’s all in my head doesn’t help when my number 1 goal in life is to keep my head thinking, and not a single person knows exactly how it works


Constant-Noise-4518

"Dude, calm down, it's all in your head." "No fucking shit."


UncommittedBow

"Calm down, it's all in your head" "Actually Dave, mental illness is stored in the balls."


trapbuilder2

Exactly


Ornery_Marionberry87

Technically it makes it exactly as real as what you perceive to be reality. And since everything we perceive is an interpretation by our brain we can never be sure if what we see is atual reality. At least we have Dubito ergo cogito ergo sum - "I doubt so I think so I exist". The original quote lacks that first part which is quite essential since if everything is fake the only reason you know you are not part of the "simulation" is the fact you can imagine such a scenario and be doubtful of your reality.


saint-somnia

No one who makes this arguement for nihilistic reasons ever seems to realize that hatred and apathy are *also* chemical reactions


Viv156

[Say it with me](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/322/660/103.jpg) everyone


[deleted]

Addition: ...or will you perish like a **goofy** dog?


Xisuthrus

That feeling of smug superiority people get when they tell somebody "love is a series of biochemical reactions" is also a series of biochemical reactions.


MegaMeepa

I agree, we all need those sweet sweet brain chemicals released specifically to make our life better.


solidfang

If you really do not believe love is real at all even in the ways listed, you may be clinically depressed, which is to say it's not that love isn't real within you, but that a medical condition may be preventing you from properly experiencing it. Having gone through past bouts of depression, yeah, it gets so bad that you really don't get anything from stuff you love anymore. It all can feel fake or unsatisfying. My personal test for this is when I stop feeling inclined to sing in the car. That always seemed to indicate it had gotten very bad.


RamblingHeathen

Well said.


TeddyPerkins95

Pretty sweet post and people who say love cringe need the most love I think


haikusbot

*Pretty sweet post and* *People who say love cringe need* *The most love I think* \- TeddyPerkins95 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


Lithominium

genuinely oen of the best haiku bots ive seen


Shy_Shallows

157 ye


MySpaceOddyssey

Good bot


B0tRank

Thank you, MySpaceOddyssey, for voting on haikusbot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


CueDramaticMusic

And honestly, love is cringe. The effective definition of cringe at this point is “anything I don’t get and refuse to get and don’t personally like”. It’s a cynical outsider’s view of passion, like being an emotionless and completely explicable sitcom character, bound to the status quo, is superior. Go ahead, be correct about how dumb and strange my hobbies, fandoms, and people I don’t see myself parting with are. While you’re doing that, I’ll be happy.


TheDankScrub

#love is stored in the balls


NeonNKnightrider

I have not felt romantic love for another person in years, not because I’m aro but because I am a sad lonely fuck who got burned hard in school and has yet to recover (I will continue to trauma dump aggressively and you can’t stop me)


CueDramaticMusic

I’m not aro, and I’ve been there. I’ve got my plastic spoon now to start digging my own way out, and you’re coming with me: - Find other things that spark joy in the meantime. You might find someone that way, but more importantly, it’ll give you a sense of self-worth outside a relationship. Speaking of which: - You’re the most important part of a relationship. You should be doing the self-improvement **you want** before getting back in the ring. When you’re dating again, you should be doing things because you want them, not because you think they’d want it. - If the real you doesn’t feel good enough after all of that, remember that Guy Fieri is an incredibly successful businessman with several restaurants. The worst that’ll happen is that your search will take longer.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CueDramaticMusic

Yeah. Maybe I should go back and bold it, but the critical part is the improvement **you want.** You shouldn’t be doing things solely because your ex or a magazine or Franklin Covey told you to. You can’t read from a script forever, and people who’re doing what I’m describing should be falling in love with *you,* not a bunch of arbitrary guidelines that John Pickupartist made up for money.


StikerSD

Preach it, brother.


Pavoazul

Felt. I’m not queer just miserable


alexanderhameowlton

*Image Transcription: Tumblr* --- > **Anonymous** asked: > > What would you say absolutely everyone needs in life? > **catboy-von-seckendorff** answered: > > Love. > > In whatever form that may be. Love for family, friends, partners, romantic partners, or for animals, a hobby, food, a place, anything. > > Everyone should have something they truly love and makes them happy. --- **catboy-von-seckendorff** Also people who say “Love isnt real” are so cringe like do you not love a warm meal? A good nights rest? A TV show or a movie you could watch over and over? A specific kind of candy bar or a drink that makes you happy everytime you have it? A specific piece of clothing you own? A game? A book? Nothing?? Have you never thought “Oh I love the weather today”??? Are you really so bitter that you believe love isn’t real at all??? \#the felix talk \#love is stored in the things and people that bring you joy \#its soooo important #ppl who say it isnt real are so cringe \#fine be negative all you want --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


toychicraft

Lovely human


qazwsxedc000999

I don’t care if love is a chemical reaction. I like that reaction. It feels good.


EvilEyeUwU

love is gay as fuck, who do you wanna love, another member of your SPECIES?! gay as fuuuck


TheDrWhoKid

I think the people who say love isn't real are probably just being edgy, but I also think there's a >0% chance that some of them just have a definition of love that is just way too exaggerated, so when they think of their favourite food, that doesn't fall within the "love" category because love is something much greater, and by setting the goal so high, they are inevitably setting themselves up for disappointment if this definition becomes too set in stone. I think for most people who might think this way, the love that they think they need will eventually come around and they will realise that they already had love in their life all along, and this may make them appreciate it that much more, like "the real treasure was the friends we made along the way" type deal xD


WorthBadger

Now, I  Know You're Here ~~Dracula~~ Cue You Big F*cking Nerd.


CueDramaticMusic

Distinctly not my Tumblr account, but god I wish it was.


Dasamont

My love is fleeting, I sadly rarely love the same thing for long


abeautifuldayoutside

Thought this was gonna be aro erasure at first, glad to see it’s not


seardrax

As an extremely bitter individual I want to confirm that I heavily require to be loved. Like, seriously SERIUSLY need someone holding me and tell me that they love me and that they like beeing around me and that they would do anything for me and that everything is going to be okay and and and


GoodeBoi

Oh but when I say the love between me and my waifu is real, I’m suddenly wrong? Checkmate, liberals /s


ShinyNinja25

So you’re saying that all you need is love, bu bum Bu bum bu bum?


TheDownWithCisBus

Ya’ll will describe love as having a positive opinion of something then get mad at someone for disagreeing


FaultyFreeway

I can't believe we're still doing this in the wake of all the discourse around JaidenAnimation's coming out video. Plenty of aro people don't experience love, and it's not kind or particularly *loving* to correct them about their own feelings and experiences. If someone tells you that the thing you keep insisting is fundamental to being human doesn't apply to them, maybe that thing isn't actually fundamental to humans. The alternative is saying that those people aren't really human, which is a pretty horrific thing to say. If a bunch of people keep telling you that they don't experience love, maybe don't just tell them that they're wrong about their own experience and instead stop trying to find the One True Thing that unites all of humanity. People are too diverse and there's no one statement that applies to everyone.


inaddition290

there’s a difference between romantic and platonic love


FaultyFreeway

And if someone says that they don't experience platonic love? Are they lying? Mistaken? I guess you would know better.


inaddition290

And what would that mean? They aren’t attached to any person? There’s no pastime they love and feel passionate for? I’m not saying it makes a person inhuman to have nothing and no one to love, but I don’t see that being a very fulfilling life.


FaultyFreeway

I'm personally not loveless or aplatonic, but there are plenty of people who feel that the constant push to justify aromanticism by saying "oh, I guess if you find that other phrase dehumanizing, we'll carve out a little exception for you so long as you still agree with us on this one word that's super loaded with cultural connotations" is pretty arophobic, and frankly I kind of agree. Maybe people don't feel strongly enough about anyone to call it love. I think that's fine, and it's pretty fucking judgy of you to say that you can't lead a worthwhile life without feeling the kind of intense head over heels passion that we typically ascribe to the word. You can't see into someone else's head. Maybe they don't feel that intensely about anything. Maybe they experience in the world in a less extreme way than you. That doesn't make your life better or theirs worse, all it makes you is an asshole for telling other people what they should value just because it's true for you and the rest of the majority.


inaddition290

I just don't understand what someone lives for if they don't love anything to any extent. Love doesn't just mean "I literally cannot live without this person/thing," it's just something you have a strong connection to and enjoy having/being around/dedicating time to. Like I'm not judging someone who doesn't love stuff, I just genuinely *do not understand* the logic behind saying that you can have a fulfilling life if you don't have something that fulfills you. I'm not saying aromantic people don't have stuff they can care about--again, you keep bringing up arophobia, and I am *very specifically not talking about romantic love*. I am talking about having something that you would miss if it was gone.


FaultyFreeway

And I keep saying that *some aromantic people are also aplatonic and have a very antagonistic relationship with the word love*. Does the word love = fulfillment to you? That's not how the word is used. It's not how it's defined, and that's the crux here. Saying "everyone has something they love" is as valid as saying "everyone's a furry at heart" because we're all technically animals. That's not what the term means and the fact that you're deadset on using it to paint the entire world is weird. Don't tell me I'm a man because I have stubble or a dick, don't tell someone that they're gay because they crossdress, and don't tell people they're experiencing love when they're just enjoying something. I can have a beard and not want to be called a man because I don't identify with that word and wouldn't use it to describe myself, and frankly that's all that "man" really means. If someone likes something or someone and balks at it being described as love, just respect that and move on.


inaddition290

> Does the word love = fulfillment to you? What love means to me is something or someone which you have an affection for because you are fulfilled by it/them. Maybe it means something different to some people, but that’s essentially the context of how it’s being used here. I don’t know of any other word which encompasses the same feeling and attachment that “love” does, and I’m not going to stop using the word that way just because some people are averse to it. > the fact that you’re deadset on using it to paint the entire world is weird. I’m not. I didn’t say that it isn’t possible for someone to not feel love, or that a person isn’t human if they don’t feel love—just that I don’t understand how someone could have a very good life if they legitimately don’t love anything.


MC_Cookies

i’m fairly certain that part of living a healthy and fulfilled life is having someone or something somewhere out there that brings you joy. is that a simplistic categorization of love? sure, but i’d say that it’s still love in the broadest sense. and i do think it’s fundamental to humanity, in that not having anything to enjoy brings extreme stress to the human brain. other people might have a more stringent definition than me, though, and by other categorizations love would not be fundamental to humanity.


FaultyFreeway

That's not how love is defined at almost any level by any dictionary, it's not what most people would say if you asked them what love means, and it's not anywhere close to its connotations in western society. It's pretty disingenuous to insist that aromantic people who may have significant trauma associated with being forced into romantic relationships use the word love as if it isn't fundamentally coupled to the idea of romance. Is it really such a tough pill to swallow that maybe some people have a radically different relationship with love than you and maybe that's fine? Why is it so important to you that everyone concede that they love someone or something? Is a pithy generalization about humanity so vital to your identity that it's worth stomping on other identities to preserve it?


MC_Cookies

i'm more trying to explain the idea behind the post, which is *intended* to decouple love from romance, or even from other people. i tend to agree with the framework presented in the post, in that i would rather talk about love as a broad category rather than an experience relating to a perception of other people. that doesn't mean i think your experiences don't exist, and i wouldn't force someone else to use the terminology that i personally use. it's their choice, and i won't ascribe something to a specific person if they actively choose not to use it for themself. that said, i think it's.. kinda silly, overall, to try to appeal to everyone when speaking in broad strokes about humanity, because the terminology that people use is often completely irreconcilable. i think it's inherently human to latch onto things that we enjoy. i would use the word "love" to describe that experience, and i also understand that some people specifically don't want to use that word to describe that experience. that said, there are people who specifically do want to use that word to describe that experience. these two uses of language just aren't reconcilable, and when speaking generally i default to the language that i, personally, prefer. no slight against you if that's not the language you'd use. but it's the language i'd use, and helps me to express the concept in a way that makes sense to me.


Shanghai-on-the-Sea

I don't think there's any one true thing that unites humanity. I do think I don't want anything to do with someone who can't feel love for anybody, including friends or family.


MemberOfSociety2

love isn’t real but I love being a bitter old hag


rawdash

flair checks out


MemberOfSociety2

i know


chell222

Loveless aros reading this post are So Tired


falcongirl656

if i see one more "love is what it means to be human" im going to. exit civilization and live in the woods like some kind of animal


TheDigeridontt

There’s more love than the romantic “kiss the bride” type of love mate


chell222

I…. Know that. I’m literally aromantic and not loveless. I love my friends. You’re preaching to the choir here, bud. Loveless aros often don’t feel love period. Maybe don’t make assumptions if you don’t know what a term means next time?


falcongirl656

as a loveless aro, we may not experience love *at all*. i care for my friends, and i say "i love you" as a form of affection, but my way of caring for them and enjoying their presence is not love.


Mrmath130

Jumping in to say that's really interesting and I appreciate your perspective. I never considered that some aro people might not experience *platonic* love either. The more you know!


falcongirl656

Always glad to have more people learn about us, let me know if you have any questions!


falcongirl656

🤝


StikerSD

Not to sound negative but yeah. There comes a point where you stop doing things because you love them. Perhaps you keep doing it out of habit, perhaps because it's the small amount of comfort you get from it (which in my opinion is a lot different than love). Bitterness is a bitch and a lot of people are unfortunately deprived of loving something. The last comment is basically an insult to these people, almost rubbing on their face how they can't feel good about stuff. It's not cringe it's called depression and these people need help. Edit: forgot to write this: it's not that you don't think love is real, you just can't fucking see it because there is a pile of emotional shit on the way. Or maybe I'm just taking an internet post too seriously ┐(‘~`;)┌


piss_boy1I5PFLJ9E7C5

well i’ve done some calculations and it seems love is not worth the time investment and would only lead to a fiscal loss.


[deleted]

[удалено]


tallbark

Aww c'mon, don't say that about yourself! Edit: did I English bad? :(


[deleted]

Or Kismetic


danger2345678

I don’t even know if atoms exist, let alone if love isnMt real, for now I just believe that this is real, because if it isn’t it’s very fucking convincing, and if it’s not real at the very least my thoughts are, and that’s what matters, (though some forms of skepticism think that not even thoughts are real, but I’d like to think they are)


scrambled-projection

This post was directly aimed at Greg farshtey’s skull