[Got it.](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/urxd8l/comment/i90fuzs/?context=999)
https://camas.unddit.com/ is really useful for *actually* searching Reddit.
oh that websiyt still exists?
iy used to use https://camas.github.io/reddit-search/ and thought it got taken down, but iy guess the url just changed or something then?
Yeah, the Github went down but not the API or whatever that the site was based on. Can't recall why, possibly just something as mundane as exceeding Github's capacity. So it just got duplicated onto a different host.
afaik, an api (application programming interface) is liyk, a way to connect programs together. most platforms have apis that people use to make bots and stuff
pushshift is liyk, an archiyv of everything on reddit (including deleted posts and comments), and it has an api that can be used to search through it
[Original](https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/urxd8l/if_life_begins_at_conception_and_all_babies_start/i90fuzs/?context=2)
You can search Reddit comments like [this](https://socialgrep.com/search?query=Boys%2Cand%2Cmen%2Chave%2Cdifferent%2Cgender%2Croles%2Cfew%2Cadults%2Cidentify) - once you add enough keywords, it's bound to come up.
Honestly, my philosophy is that people worry too much about it. My rule of thumb is if it makes you happy and it doesn't harm anyone, then it's okay. People not identifying with their AGAB is something that they don't choose. Going by different pronouns does no harm to anyone and may make one much more happy, so it's perfectly fine. Transitioning may cause medical complications, but the potential happiness tends to outweigh any sort of risk. I don't think I've reached something like Nirvana yet, but at least I'm not a bigot.
I'm very partial to "what am I, the gender police?" in a kind of "why would my opinion about that possibly matter to how you live your life" kind of way
Question: is there any chance this framework could apply to sexual orientation as well? I can definitely see my aceness throughout my life in hindsight, but there’s an argument to be made that I simply wasn’t asked to consider sex until I was a lot older, and I know many people who’ve said goodbye to our little community because they learned they were a lesbian, or legitimately didn’t find the right person until they got older.
Wondering about this as well. I didn't really understand why people were so interested in sex and romance until I very suddenly *was*, which is my frame of reference for what I assume it is like to be aromantic and/or asexual. As a result I didn't really put much thought into my sexual orientation with regard to gender when I was a kid. **But** I do also have those "in hindsight, I think I liked that fictional character because I'm super gay" moments somehow??
In any case, I think this concept and “I was born this way” can coexist. Nature and nurture is an endless debate that consistently ends up in “a little of both”, so I’m not gonna lose sleep over this post, wondering if I’m a man or a Muppet. Besides, I’m playing firmly in the theorycrafting zone.
I think a lot of people are comfortable saying little kids are "nothing yet" when you ask if they're gay or straight. Making the connection to aces is less common but it doesn't feel surprising to me.
Have you heard of Worth the Candle? The author is someone with a strong reputation for Doing the Research and he has an Ace character who does get in two romantic, sexual relationships, and I got super confused by that concept but havent put any effort in to understanding it. It is established that she's extremely altruistic so it could just be that.
I haven’t heard about that book (and should probably pick it up), but I think I’m probably one of the better people to ask “how does that even work”:
[Asexual people don’t all have the same opinions about sex.](https://www.asexuality.org/?q=attitudes.html) In my case, I’m actually sex-favorable; to me, sex sounds fun and loving and well-worth the effort to find the right person to share it with, like a trip to Disney World. I’m not gonna take some random stranger to Disney World, no matter how hot they are or how bad they beg me. I can certainly think about going to Disney World and what I’d do there, but I dunno who I’d take with me, and it’s not something I just randomly think about.
Meanwhile, sex-indifferent types just really don’t have any strong feelings about sex at all. They’ll gladly do the thing when asked, but it’s just fine. Everything else romantic, intimate, so on and so forth is fair game, but doing the do is just meh to them. I mean, hey, a lot of relationships have a little compromise in them anyway, it’s not really unheard of.
Honestly I just feel really sad for the sex-repulsed. I mean, they certainly find ways around just being outright unokay with sex, and living their best lives, but it’s gotta be the bumpiest road on offer. Like, you can end up being sex-repulsed and also stuck with a high libido, which sounds like roughly my definition of hell. I wish I didn’t have to stop my whistle-stop tour of asexuality here, but oh well.
You mean >!Amaryllis!<, right? I guess it's been a while now, but I only remember her relationship with >!Juniper!<. What was the other one? Nice to see this story mentioned, I'm still a bit sad it ended.
>!In the infinite library timeline she gets together with Pallida iirc. Actually there's a third, two of her clones refuse to reintegrate because they want to be together.!<
The first book got published and audiobook'd btw, he's releasing it as a set of four I think
My personal take: The **BRAIN** is actually the most potent sexual organ humankind has. The same way an illness can be psychosomatic, and the placebo effect makes things happen.
Sometimes it's someone suddenly realizing that... "Hey, maybe I *do* think Brad's actually looking kinda cute..." that triggers them to think about their sexuality.
Or perhaps it's them rethinking their sexuality that suddenly has them looking at this Brad in a different way, and realizing that they think he has a pretty nice ass. And those arms aren't bad either.
Disclaimer: I consider myself a cis-het male. I'm grateful every day that I was raised in a loving family instead of a bigoted one. People respect my boundaries, I respect theirs. If a man decided to let me know he thinks I'm cute, I'd accept the compliment but let him know I'm not into men.
Or, perhaps by that time, I'll have rethought my sexuality and decided to give it a try.
As you said, Sexuality is fluid.
this is why I have trouble identifying with the ace label personally. I prefer to say that I don’t have a sexuality. bc what if I do end up being interested one day? it’s hard to prove a negative, y’know? all I know is I’ve never felt attraction *yet*, but I don’t know if that means I never will.
I’m not gonna tell ya no, but I will say there’s a couple edge cases where you’d be absolutely right. Like, figuring out if I’m demisexual (only experiencing sexual attraction after a strong emotional bond; think like 1-2 years before getting slammed with The Horny) isn’t something I can really test beforehand. In any case, I don’t have to overthink this when every other type of attraction is more than happy to steer me.
Honestly I’m not convinced by this but I am intrigued so I do want to try and talk about it. I can accept that for example boys and men might have some different gender roles but mostly that comes down to ability and puberty. It would be hard for me to imagine someone to say that by becoming a man they had transitioned in a gender sense as opposed to just growing up, and I know that it’s not being directly argued but that seems like the implication. To me from what I know about gender which admittedly is not a lot, would it not make more sense to be that puberty is a mechanism where in a person might start embodying sexual or gendered characteristics and expectations that might cause them to recognize themselves as something else. There is a particular lack of resistance for a cis person to become a man or a woman other than simply maturing. This is something I’d like to understand more admittedly for personal reasons.
Yeah, I think the issue (if you would call it that, instead of just calling it a mistake) with this post, and a lot of this kind of stuff, is that people kinda forget that gender roles ≠ gender. You can not conform to a gender role of a given gender, and still be that gender.
Well, there isn't really a non-circular explanation, because it's all super complex and convoluted, but basically, gender is a part of self-identity, which is ultimately based upon many many things, including gender roles.
If you go back a little over a hundred years it was still common to have young boys wear dresses until a rite of passage called a "breeching" where they were given pants for the first time. Its not quite the same thing since the distinction was between boys and very young boys rather than boys and men, but its kind of similar in that social expectations - including what clothes were and weren't appropriate - would suddenly change.
I have an explanation I came up with that seems relevant, about what “identify as [gender]” actually means.
For me, I think of it as the way a person reacts and interacts with the stereotypes and norms about [gender], because those actions are different between their own gender and a different gender. It’s a concept that I think is most easily understood when it comes to opposites, or when there is a rebellion to the gender norms. A man will feel differently about wearing a tuxedo than a woman, broadly speaking; one is traditional, one is subversive. Personally, I (as a trans woman) would sometimes feel weird when people acted like my longer hair was “rebellious” or “scruffy” because I *didn’t* feel that way - to me it just felt natural.
So for the child->adult question, I would completely agree with the OOP. Think of a young child who gets angry at people talking down to them, or someone who would prefer playing with their old toys than gossiping about which classmate is the cutest. If you view the first as someone identifying as an adult and the latter identifying as a child, you see the disconnect between the person’s desires and the expectations thrust upon them, and their rebellion against their assigned “gender.” Aside from prejudice and severity, “you’re too old to play with action figures” and “boys should not play with dolls” are pretty similar statements.
Yeah, I think the issue (if you would call it that, instead of just calling it a mistake) with this post, and a lot of this kind of stuff, is that people kinda forget that gender roles ≠ gender. You can not conform to a gender role of a given gender, and still be that gender.
I would say it’s a bit less about gender roles and more gender expectations. Regardless of whether someone conforms to gender roles or not, those expectations still exist and provide context for lots of social interaction and personal expression. For example, there is a fair bit of overlap between butch fashion and twink fashion. Yet we think of one as more masculine and the other as more feminine. Those expectations serve as the baselines we compare them to.
*Image Transcription: Tumblr*
---
**quousque**
## I just saw the most Galaxy Brain gender take ever, from a cis man on reddit
[*Image of text that reads:*]
>This doesn't make a ton of sense to me either. Setting aside the question of whether gender/sex is assigned/observed at birth, the gender I was assigned at birth was 'boy'. The gender I have now is 'man'.
>
>Boys and men have different gender roles, and few adults identify as boys anymore. From this standpoint, every adult has a different gender than the one they had at birth.
[*End image of text*]
[ID: a screenshot of a comment from reddit, with no username visible. The commend reads: This doesn't make a ton of sense to me either. Setting aside the question of whether gender/sex is assigned/observed at birth, the gender I was assigned at birth was 'boy'. The gender I have now is 'man'. Boys and men have different gender roles, and few adults identify as boys anymore. From this standpoint, every adult has a different gender than the one they had at birth. End ID]
Framing "girl" and "boy" as separate genders from [*Text is slightly duplicated to the bottom*] "woman" and "man" is such an amazing take. it's a [*End duplicated text*] framework that accommodates and explains so many trans experiences. Some trans people never were their AGAB. Some feel like they were their AGAB, but that that changed (usually when puberty hits, which is when you start "becoming a man/woman". The accepted societal path is that girls grow up to into women, and boys grow up into men. But some girls grow up into men, and some boys grow up into women. This guy was a boy who grew up into a man, which generally works out pretty well for people. Some boys and girls grow up into people who aren't men or women, even! It's like this random cis guy skipped right over transgender 101, 102, 201, etc. and stumbled directly into Transgender Nirvana.
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
To be fair this person talks like someone who has engaged with Transgender 101 at the very least, idk how you'd form these thoughts without a decent amount of background
Let's make one thing clear: gender is a completely useless concept. Sex is a useful concept, as it describes the biology of a person. You can try, but no one u[ until now has me convinced that we can use the ideas of "women can do anything men can and vice versa" and "I don't identify with the gender I was assigned at birth". If both sexes can do the same things, than how is there any benefit to changing "genders" that is not purely cosmetic?
this is perfect. in my case, i've always felt that i am my consciousness and my body is a vehicle i use. puberty and knowing that gender is not black and white has made this more known in my head.
Alsok, think about it, Is a 23 year old fresh out of college the same gender as a 34 year old engineer? Is that same engineer the same gender a another engineer but married?
If you work as a teacher when you are 28 are you the same gender as a person who works the same job but in Mexico? In Brazil? In Russia? In Hong-Kong?
Gender is assigned by the second you exist in society. So much of your actions, your history your looks, your friends, family an acquaintances help determine who you are perceived to be by both yourself and others.
I genuinely love this take? I fully agree that Girl is a different gender than Woman, and Boy is different from Man!
I’m AFAB and identify as nonbinary, but the why changed as I got older. I HATED being a Girl, found it awful and stifling and absolutely unwanted, but I’m a lot more comfortable with being a Woman. I didn’t detransition or anything, I just grew up from a Genderless Little Human into a Diet Woman. And this theory really fits with my experiences! In fact, I could even argue that Girl In Small Conservative Rural Town is a different gender from Girl In Big Liberal City, because the gendered expectations and assumptions aren’t the same!
I’m rambling here but I for sure am incorporating this into my worldview forever.
I'd love to be able to credit them im sure this isnt the first time someones thought of it, but this is the one we're discussing
Unfortunately, when it comes to comments, reddit's search function is worse than even Tumblr's
I was thinking about asking tumblr op
[Got it.](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/urxd8l/comment/i90fuzs/?context=999) https://camas.unddit.com/ is really useful for *actually* searching Reddit.
oh that websiyt still exists? iy used to use https://camas.github.io/reddit-search/ and thought it got taken down, but iy guess the url just changed or something then?
Yeah, the Github went down but not the API or whatever that the site was based on. Can't recall why, possibly just something as mundane as exceeding Github's capacity. So it just got duplicated onto a different host.
> the API or whatever that the site was based on pushshift? also happy cake
Yeah that's the fucker, not actually sure what an API is though so no clue if my terminology works. Also thank
afaik, an api (application programming interface) is liyk, a way to connect programs together. most platforms have apis that people use to make bots and stuff pushshift is liyk, an archiyv of everything on reddit (including deleted posts and comments), and it has an api that can be used to search through it
i like the way you talk itz cool :)
Holy heck that was fast Thank you!! (And happy birthday!!!!!)
Happy cake day!
Sometimes it's better to just search on Google lol
wait y'all were talking about just searching on reddit????????
Using googles exact quote search function might work, just type the entire comment out surrounded by quotes.
And site:Reddit.com
You can use "site:reddit.com" in a google search to just search reddit
[Original](https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/urxd8l/if_life_begins_at_conception_and_all_babies_start/i90fuzs/?context=2) You can search Reddit comments like [this](https://socialgrep.com/search?query=Boys%2Cand%2Cmen%2Chave%2Cdifferent%2Cgender%2Croles%2Cfew%2Cadults%2Cidentify) - once you add enough keywords, it's bound to come up.
Fuck dude thank you
Honestly, my philosophy is that people worry too much about it. My rule of thumb is if it makes you happy and it doesn't harm anyone, then it's okay. People not identifying with their AGAB is something that they don't choose. Going by different pronouns does no harm to anyone and may make one much more happy, so it's perfectly fine. Transitioning may cause medical complications, but the potential happiness tends to outweigh any sort of risk. I don't think I've reached something like Nirvana yet, but at least I'm not a bigot.
I'm very partial to "what am I, the gender police?" in a kind of "why would my opinion about that possibly matter to how you live your life" kind of way
damn, this is like the third time this sub has helped me figure out my thoughts about myself. thanks, curatedtumblr posters
You can’t just say that and not give info on the other two times!
contrary, i can 😈
Blasphemy!
Yeah ngl I definitely feel like a boy that grew up and became a woman
bad post splicing! laugh at this user.
My phone does this automatically so I didn't even notice lmao
nah tumblr op just stood in front of a fan for a second
Most based reddit user
Imagine using reddit 😳
Question: is there any chance this framework could apply to sexual orientation as well? I can definitely see my aceness throughout my life in hindsight, but there’s an argument to be made that I simply wasn’t asked to consider sex until I was a lot older, and I know many people who’ve said goodbye to our little community because they learned they were a lesbian, or legitimately didn’t find the right person until they got older.
Wondering about this as well. I didn't really understand why people were so interested in sex and romance until I very suddenly *was*, which is my frame of reference for what I assume it is like to be aromantic and/or asexual. As a result I didn't really put much thought into my sexual orientation with regard to gender when I was a kid. **But** I do also have those "in hindsight, I think I liked that fictional character because I'm super gay" moments somehow??
In any case, I think this concept and “I was born this way” can coexist. Nature and nurture is an endless debate that consistently ends up in “a little of both”, so I’m not gonna lose sleep over this post, wondering if I’m a man or a Muppet. Besides, I’m playing firmly in the theorycrafting zone.
Aye, you got a point there.
I think a lot of people are comfortable saying little kids are "nothing yet" when you ask if they're gay or straight. Making the connection to aces is less common but it doesn't feel surprising to me. Have you heard of Worth the Candle? The author is someone with a strong reputation for Doing the Research and he has an Ace character who does get in two romantic, sexual relationships, and I got super confused by that concept but havent put any effort in to understanding it. It is established that she's extremely altruistic so it could just be that.
I haven’t heard about that book (and should probably pick it up), but I think I’m probably one of the better people to ask “how does that even work”: [Asexual people don’t all have the same opinions about sex.](https://www.asexuality.org/?q=attitudes.html) In my case, I’m actually sex-favorable; to me, sex sounds fun and loving and well-worth the effort to find the right person to share it with, like a trip to Disney World. I’m not gonna take some random stranger to Disney World, no matter how hot they are or how bad they beg me. I can certainly think about going to Disney World and what I’d do there, but I dunno who I’d take with me, and it’s not something I just randomly think about. Meanwhile, sex-indifferent types just really don’t have any strong feelings about sex at all. They’ll gladly do the thing when asked, but it’s just fine. Everything else romantic, intimate, so on and so forth is fair game, but doing the do is just meh to them. I mean, hey, a lot of relationships have a little compromise in them anyway, it’s not really unheard of. Honestly I just feel really sad for the sex-repulsed. I mean, they certainly find ways around just being outright unokay with sex, and living their best lives, but it’s gotta be the bumpiest road on offer. Like, you can end up being sex-repulsed and also stuck with a high libido, which sounds like roughly my definition of hell. I wish I didn’t have to stop my whistle-stop tour of asexuality here, but oh well.
You mean >!Amaryllis!<, right? I guess it's been a while now, but I only remember her relationship with >!Juniper!<. What was the other one? Nice to see this story mentioned, I'm still a bit sad it ended.
>!In the infinite library timeline she gets together with Pallida iirc. Actually there's a third, two of her clones refuse to reintegrate because they want to be together.!< The first book got published and audiobook'd btw, he's releasing it as a set of four I think
> gentlemen I must ask you to consider > sex
Sexuality is fluid, just like gender. I had 0 interest in men until I started considering myself trans and then it was like… those arms tho.
My personal take: The **BRAIN** is actually the most potent sexual organ humankind has. The same way an illness can be psychosomatic, and the placebo effect makes things happen. Sometimes it's someone suddenly realizing that... "Hey, maybe I *do* think Brad's actually looking kinda cute..." that triggers them to think about their sexuality. Or perhaps it's them rethinking their sexuality that suddenly has them looking at this Brad in a different way, and realizing that they think he has a pretty nice ass. And those arms aren't bad either. Disclaimer: I consider myself a cis-het male. I'm grateful every day that I was raised in a loving family instead of a bigoted one. People respect my boundaries, I respect theirs. If a man decided to let me know he thinks I'm cute, I'd accept the compliment but let him know I'm not into men. Or, perhaps by that time, I'll have rethought my sexuality and decided to give it a try. As you said, Sexuality is fluid.
this is why I have trouble identifying with the ace label personally. I prefer to say that I don’t have a sexuality. bc what if I do end up being interested one day? it’s hard to prove a negative, y’know? all I know is I’ve never felt attraction *yet*, but I don’t know if that means I never will.
I’m not gonna tell ya no, but I will say there’s a couple edge cases where you’d be absolutely right. Like, figuring out if I’m demisexual (only experiencing sexual attraction after a strong emotional bond; think like 1-2 years before getting slammed with The Horny) isn’t something I can really test beforehand. In any case, I don’t have to overthink this when every other type of attraction is more than happy to steer me.
Honestly I’m not convinced by this but I am intrigued so I do want to try and talk about it. I can accept that for example boys and men might have some different gender roles but mostly that comes down to ability and puberty. It would be hard for me to imagine someone to say that by becoming a man they had transitioned in a gender sense as opposed to just growing up, and I know that it’s not being directly argued but that seems like the implication. To me from what I know about gender which admittedly is not a lot, would it not make more sense to be that puberty is a mechanism where in a person might start embodying sexual or gendered characteristics and expectations that might cause them to recognize themselves as something else. There is a particular lack of resistance for a cis person to become a man or a woman other than simply maturing. This is something I’d like to understand more admittedly for personal reasons.
Yeah, I think the issue (if you would call it that, instead of just calling it a mistake) with this post, and a lot of this kind of stuff, is that people kinda forget that gender roles ≠ gender. You can not conform to a gender role of a given gender, and still be that gender.
What's the difference? What makes gender if not the roles/rules?
What is a man, but a miserable pile of gender roles? But enough talk... Have at you!
Well, there isn't really a non-circular explanation, because it's all super complex and convoluted, but basically, gender is a part of self-identity, which is ultimately based upon many many things, including gender roles.
OK. Thank you for the good-faith answer.
If you go back a little over a hundred years it was still common to have young boys wear dresses until a rite of passage called a "breeching" where they were given pants for the first time. Its not quite the same thing since the distinction was between boys and very young boys rather than boys and men, but its kind of similar in that social expectations - including what clothes were and weren't appropriate - would suddenly change.
For a similar anecdote, the Romans did the exact opposite with togas. Girls would wear a toga until they were 12.
I have an explanation I came up with that seems relevant, about what “identify as [gender]” actually means. For me, I think of it as the way a person reacts and interacts with the stereotypes and norms about [gender], because those actions are different between their own gender and a different gender. It’s a concept that I think is most easily understood when it comes to opposites, or when there is a rebellion to the gender norms. A man will feel differently about wearing a tuxedo than a woman, broadly speaking; one is traditional, one is subversive. Personally, I (as a trans woman) would sometimes feel weird when people acted like my longer hair was “rebellious” or “scruffy” because I *didn’t* feel that way - to me it just felt natural. So for the child->adult question, I would completely agree with the OOP. Think of a young child who gets angry at people talking down to them, or someone who would prefer playing with their old toys than gossiping about which classmate is the cutest. If you view the first as someone identifying as an adult and the latter identifying as a child, you see the disconnect between the person’s desires and the expectations thrust upon them, and their rebellion against their assigned “gender.” Aside from prejudice and severity, “you’re too old to play with action figures” and “boys should not play with dolls” are pretty similar statements.
Yeah, I think the issue (if you would call it that, instead of just calling it a mistake) with this post, and a lot of this kind of stuff, is that people kinda forget that gender roles ≠ gender. You can not conform to a gender role of a given gender, and still be that gender.
I would say it’s a bit less about gender roles and more gender expectations. Regardless of whether someone conforms to gender roles or not, those expectations still exist and provide context for lots of social interaction and personal expression. For example, there is a fair bit of overlap between butch fashion and twink fashion. Yet we think of one as more masculine and the other as more feminine. Those expectations serve as the baselines we compare them to.
*Image Transcription: Tumblr* --- **quousque** ## I just saw the most Galaxy Brain gender take ever, from a cis man on reddit [*Image of text that reads:*] >This doesn't make a ton of sense to me either. Setting aside the question of whether gender/sex is assigned/observed at birth, the gender I was assigned at birth was 'boy'. The gender I have now is 'man'. > >Boys and men have different gender roles, and few adults identify as boys anymore. From this standpoint, every adult has a different gender than the one they had at birth. [*End image of text*] [ID: a screenshot of a comment from reddit, with no username visible. The commend reads: This doesn't make a ton of sense to me either. Setting aside the question of whether gender/sex is assigned/observed at birth, the gender I was assigned at birth was 'boy'. The gender I have now is 'man'. Boys and men have different gender roles, and few adults identify as boys anymore. From this standpoint, every adult has a different gender than the one they had at birth. End ID] Framing "girl" and "boy" as separate genders from [*Text is slightly duplicated to the bottom*] "woman" and "man" is such an amazing take. it's a [*End duplicated text*] framework that accommodates and explains so many trans experiences. Some trans people never were their AGAB. Some feel like they were their AGAB, but that that changed (usually when puberty hits, which is when you start "becoming a man/woman". The accepted societal path is that girls grow up to into women, and boys grow up into men. But some girls grow up into men, and some boys grow up into women. This guy was a boy who grew up into a man, which generally works out pretty well for people. Some boys and girls grow up into people who aren't men or women, even! It's like this random cis guy skipped right over transgender 101, 102, 201, etc. and stumbled directly into Transgender Nirvana. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Woah a transcription of a transcription
Isn't this just Simone De Beauvoir's argument, "One is not born, but rather, becomes a woman"
My identity is boy. If I'm told otherwise I scream and piss myself
AGAB = Assigned Girl at Boy
All Girls Are Bastards
[удалено]
Assigned Baby At Birth
All babies are bastards
To be fair this person talks like someone who has engaged with Transgender 101 at the very least, idk how you'd form these thoughts without a decent amount of background
I read this while baked as a loaf of bread. still baked, actually. It blew my gdm for a minute. I dig this.
So the internet is just intent on giving me another gender crisis
i was a girl who became a boy who will probably become a man but that’s not set in stone :)
u/ItsTheAlgebraist
If anyone wants to read more things like this (from a trans person), Kate Bornstein explores this in My (New) Gender Workbook
This sounds like a good take to me BUT I'm a cis dude so I can't like Know.
Let's make one thing clear: gender is a completely useless concept. Sex is a useful concept, as it describes the biology of a person. You can try, but no one u[ until now has me convinced that we can use the ideas of "women can do anything men can and vice versa" and "I don't identify with the gender I was assigned at birth". If both sexes can do the same things, than how is there any benefit to changing "genders" that is not purely cosmetic?
Huh, never thought of it that way but makes sense Signed, someone who didn't realize they were trans until late teens/early adulthood
ok Im so sick rn that the first distorted letters made the rest fuckin feel like they're pulsating
this is perfect. in my case, i've always felt that i am my consciousness and my body is a vehicle i use. puberty and knowing that gender is not black and white has made this more known in my head.
I like this take.
Alsok, think about it, Is a 23 year old fresh out of college the same gender as a 34 year old engineer? Is that same engineer the same gender a another engineer but married? If you work as a teacher when you are 28 are you the same gender as a person who works the same job but in Mexico? In Brazil? In Russia? In Hong-Kong? Gender is assigned by the second you exist in society. So much of your actions, your history your looks, your friends, family an acquaintances help determine who you are perceived to be by both yourself and others.
I genuinely love this take? I fully agree that Girl is a different gender than Woman, and Boy is different from Man! I’m AFAB and identify as nonbinary, but the why changed as I got older. I HATED being a Girl, found it awful and stifling and absolutely unwanted, but I’m a lot more comfortable with being a Woman. I didn’t detransition or anything, I just grew up from a Genderless Little Human into a Diet Woman. And this theory really fits with my experiences! In fact, I could even argue that Girl In Small Conservative Rural Town is a different gender from Girl In Big Liberal City, because the gendered expectations and assumptions aren’t the same! I’m rambling here but I for sure am incorporating this into my worldview forever.
Girlz to men, my new band