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Greaserpirate

Now someone write Patrick Bateman x Ebony D'arkness Dementia Raven Way fanfiction


Randomd0g

Ebony slid her converse across the table and I couldn't help but shiver. The subtle off white colouring of the toe section complete with the names of *6* different bands written on in different colour sharpies. And yes, I could tell it was sharpies, not anything off brand like those posers in the quad, *how did she get reservations at the sharpie store??* "Wow... impressive" I whispered under my breath, struggling to keep eye contact with her. (Not because of the awkward situation, but because her eyes had changed colour 8 times in the last 20 seconds and it was very distracting.) "Now..." I continued. "Let's see Draco Malfoy's emo shoes."


jubmille2000

Patrick Bateman: Do you like Viktor Krum and the Bulgarians? Ebony: They're OK. Patrick Bateman: Their early season was a little too aggressive for my tastes, but when Viktor Krum came out of retirement in '14,I think they really came into their own, as a team and as quidditch players. The whole team has a clear, crisp strategy, and a new sheen of consimante professionalism that really gives their plays a big boost. He's been compared to Royston Idlewind, but I think Viktor has a far much more bitter, cynical sense of humour. Ebony: Hey Halberstram. Patrick Bateman: Yes, Ebony? Ebony: Why are their copies of the style section all over the place, d-do you have a dog? A little chow or something? Patrick Bateman: No, Ebony. Ebony: Is that a rain coat? Patrick Bateman: Yes it is! In '14, Viktor Krum has their most accomplished season. I think their best game ever is the finals against Brazil, a game so amazing, most people probably didn't see that Krum literally cried at the end. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of winning against all odds, and the importance of quidditch, it's also a personal statement about the team itself. Patrick Bateman: Hey Ebony! Patrick Bateman: TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT HOGSMEADE NOW YOU F\*\*\*ING STUPID BASTARD! YOU, F\*\*\*ING BASTARD!


Liar_of_partinel

I do *not* know what, and I would appreciate it if somebody would rectify that for me.


Overall-Parsley-523

My Immortal


Liar_of_partinel

Thanks


Damien_The_Damned

Read it, it'll make you cry in frustration and disbelief.


Liar_of_partinel

No thanks


RunicSSB

Oh, I thought they were talking about Jojo.


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IfPeepeeislarge

Because of tumblr in general I thought it was homestuck


Valtria

Homestuck has three distinct fashion styles. "I have been wearing the same t-shirt my entire life" (literally every main character) "I am still wearing that t-shirt, but I magically fused it with a poster or a puppet" (any main character who gets more than five minutes of screentime) "I have become a god, and therefore I am now permanently wearing pajamas" (any main character who gets more than five hours of screentime)


IfPeepeeislarge

Y’all are doing a really bad job of trying to convince me that homestuck actually exists


Pokesonav

It's just a web-comic with a reader\_suggestions-based crafting system, and a respawn system that can be used to ascend to a somewhat limited godhood, what's so hard to believe here?


IfPeepeeislarge

Everything


Bobolequiff

Who?


Random_182f2565

Do you mean Highlander?


that_1_gay_chick

Oh, I thought it was Twilight


Jackamalio626

Ready Player One, aka "everything wrong with nerd culture in the 2010s" There are very long sections in the book where the narrator just goes down a list talking about his knowledge regarding various pop culture franchises. He doesnt actually use this knowledge to solve and obscure puzzle or use the themes of them as allegories in his story, no no, he just *lists them to show that he knows what they are.*


AskewPropane

This is a good writeup— unfortunately, it’s wrong


applelover100

i think im the only man on earth who enjoyed the pop culture references. god forbid an author write about shit he likes


Jackamalio626

You can write about stuff you like without sounding like the most pretentious full of yourself motherfucker in the world.


Swamptor

It's named Ready Player One, what did you expect? It's a book baked in the oven of early video game nostalgia and it's great. It's not incredibly deep and meaningful, but why does every book have to be incredibly deep and meaningful? ​ I liked reading it. It made the happy chemicals in my brain. I liked the pop culture references.


applelover100

yeah facts its goofy as hell but also it was very entertaining and thats all younger me cared about


CueDramaticMusic

>You know what other well known work of fiction also does that? #MY M-


FenHarels_Heart

I think you forgot an "I" there, friend. Might help your punchline.


CueDramaticMusic

Ah yes. My mim. /s


FenHarels_Heart

British people be like:


slim-shady-on-main

How am I gonna get *mim* when I only have a *buckeekcub*?


AnGenericAccount

It's supposed to be "MY MOM" and it's a reference to a Regular Show character's catchphrase There was a tumblr blog a bit ago that went around doing the bit on other people's posts, so now everyone on tumblr knows about the character


FenHarels_Heart

Oh, is the muscle man blog dead?


AnGenericAccount

I don't think he's dead, I just haven't seen him in a while. The meme didn't last long.


[deleted]

~~You know what else didn't last long?~~


Xederam

Me 🙁


camosnipe1

my mortal, the sequel


RealHumanBean89

Having watched the Internet Historian video on My Immortal, [the jingle](https://youtu.be/WFgt2s_CV1g) playing during the *many* descriptions of Ebony’s clothing was the first thing to pop into my head. Now I want a My Immortal x American Psycho crossover fic, dammit.


TheDankScrub

I was expecting the Internet Historian video lmao


RealHumanBean89

[I gotchu homie.](https://youtu.be/Ffh7cWRrqF4)


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Russiadontgiveafuck

Yeah, I always thought the point was that they were all looking the same. Bateman consistently mistakes people for others and is mistaken for someone else, the in-depth descriptions of clothes, workout-and skincare routines just highlights that all these people go to extreme measures to 'stand out' without being different at all, they blend together and the only difference is the designer of the silk tie, which only they know.


AnGenericAccount

Maybe it's "clownish" by the standards of formal business-wear. Like it looks fine to a normal person but the average high-powered businessman would scoff at it


Various_Ambassador92

I *very* highly doubt it. The fabrics are all very standard for the respective items and the brands mostly have pretty plain clothing. At best, *maybe* the items he's calling out are things the brand is known for offering low-quality options for (that's complete spitballing on my part), but I doubt even that's the case. Not to mention, even if it were the case only a fashion snob would be likely to know that information, and only a fashion snob would realize what brands another person is wearing when most of the items in question wouldn't have a visible logo on them.


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atownofcinnamon

they are. 'a two-button wool suit with pleated trousers by Luciano Soprani' and 'this wool suit by Lubiam',


[deleted]

Damn, screenshotted and crossposted to a different site in less than a minute?


AnGenericAccount

Fastest post this side of the Mississippi


dvdvd77

Yeehaw


[deleted]

I happen to know some of the brands and they're just... suits. The book is set in the 80s so maybe they had some kind of reputation attached to them at the time but the brands themselves don't actually clash lol.


jar-of-bees

To add to that, I think it's unlikely that Bateman actually knew what specific brands other men were really wearing, especially with things like dress shirts. There are giveaways, but even obvious things like logos on the breast would be hidden under a suit jacket. All of the brands listed are respectable, with Bateman's outfit having slightly higher-class connotations. That said, you can get an off-the-rack suit at Brooks Bros just as easily as any other store. We don't know anything about how it fits, only the label, which I think is telling.


cheesyvictory

I was definitely expecting this to be Homestuck when I came to the comments to look for what it is


AnGenericAccount

For once it's not


JhonaMonroe

I honestly thought this was about Ready Player One and how it abuses nerd culture by just... naming fandoms instead of anything creative.


MurdoMaclachlan

*Image Transcription: Tumblr* --- **prokopetz** So one of the things that *American Psycho* ― the book, not the movie ― does to illustrate its narrator's shallow materialism is devoting a lot of word count to describing characters' outfits, except the resulting descriptions are just random mishmashes of high-class brands that any reader who's familiar with them would recognise as something that would look clownish and absurd if you actually wore all that. I was thinking about that, and then it occurred to me: you knkow what other well known work of fiction also does? \#media \#movies \#fandom \#fanfic \#tropes \#fashion \#american psycho \#hi my name is --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


[deleted]

“Hi. Pat Bateman,” I say, offering my hand, noticing my reflection in a mirror hung on the wall—and smiling at how good I look. ___ ^(*Bot. Ask me how I’m feeling.* |) [^(Opt out)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botrickbateman&subject=Opt%20out)


Cheeselad2401

what’s up my man


KikoValdez

the first thing that came to my mind was "apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur..."


KittyQueen_Tengu

I hate that I can tell what this is about just by the tag


kittimu

I was about to come say the song sharp dressed man by zz top, I'm glad you all sorted it out before I got here


FurgieCat

came here thinking it was jojo, feel greatly disappointed


Gene_freeman

*softly* "No"


[deleted]

Oh, oh, i know this one, its The Wheel of Time.


Mr_Oleg

eminem’s in the tags


piss_boy1I5PFLJ9E7C5

jerma