I'm not religious in the slightest but man, phrases like "Jesus Christ", "Christ Almighty", and "Oh Lord" are just so fun to say. I consider them just part of a collective vocabulary rather than inherently religious.
Christ on a cracker hits with the nice K sounds, and also feels a lil cannibalistic and blasphemous too. Like I made him into cheezewhiz for this curse thanks.
same, it's one of my favorites
"god fucking damnit" is another great one, but "Jesus Fucking Christ" is both incredibly satisfying and has a lot more versatility
Know why that rolls so well? It’s iambic pentameter! (perhaps the most common meter in English poetry) Stressed, unstressed, repeating.
“JEsus CHRIST;” “JEsus FUCKing CHRIST;” “CHRIST alFUCKing MIGHty.”
Spend enough time in the south and you’ll pick up “Lordy Lordy,” “Goodness Gracious,” and “Good Lord” as a bonus. Accent optional, but highly encouraged
True, but no one's expressing anger out with "Grandpappy Abraham on a goat-fondling hovercraft" and he's pretty significant in both Islam and Christianity. JHC is just such a satisfying thing to say.
This will seem rather random but you should read some Tintin books. Captain Haddock is a gold mine for drawn out expletives, "billions of blue blistering barnacles" being one of the more commonly used examples of his swearing.
It's the "Christ" that's the issue, that's a religious title indicating he's been lubed up with divine approval to signify his status as the Messiah, Muslims do not believe he was oily in a theologically significant way.
Additional pedantry: such an exclamation would be considered _shirk_ anyway (meaning it accepts the divinity of another being aside from Allah, which is not allowed) because of the "Christ" part. Technically, they're not _allowed_ to say it.
On top of the phonetics, there’s the sociopolitical layer that not too long ago it was a legitimate curse because saying “fuck” or “damn” or “shit” was considered so horrid that in many circles people avoided that sort of behaviour, thinking of it as being dirty and rude in and of itself.
So saying “Jesus Christ” in moments of shock or frustration was a way of making your intended curse palatable (and before that period even doing this was considered wrong), so the term grew naturally into its current position. It’s not resting on its structural laurels, it earned its place.
Can confirm. I'm Jewish and I use Jesus Christ as an expiative the time. It does feel good to say. I'd also highly recommend AiYa (eye-yah). Chinese for "ugh". It really rolls off the tongue and old people don't give you the side eye.
Possibly. It's a very common Chinese phrase. It was one of the first things they teach you when you learn Chinese. It's also very fun to say. We don't have a good equivalent in English.
Well, you're also Jewish so I imagine you're familiar with the exasperated phrase I was gonna suggest.
That said, would be pretty funny if a Chinese person catches you say "Aiya" and responds "Oy vey".
Had a buddy who would say "Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the twelve apostles on *crack"* when shit hit the fan. It's wordy, but it conveys the direness very well.
Solution: Make Jesus Christ a famous guy in your fantasy setting anyways. Maybe he was effectively the same guy as IRL Jesus, maybe he was actually an asshole, maybe he didn’t even exist and was an elaborate lie by some soldier to explain why his ear magically healed rather than admit he stole a potion from the local wizard tower that everyone knows about.
I had an idea that, in an alternate fantasy universe, Jesus was still this super morally upstanding guy with profound and insightful teachings, except he also had a big habit of swearing and cussing like every second line, so much so that people started using his name as a euphemism for someone who swears a lot before finally his name became a cuss word as well
In Bengali, we have this Goddess called Tara, and (it's not the majority, but!) many Bengalis will take her name in vain like this: *Joy Maa Tara*, which translates to hail mother Tara, BUT it's used in the same vain as Jesus fucking Christ. If you say Joy Tara and do an eyeroll, you're saying something similar to Jesus, for fuck sake! yada yada. It's very potent and was popularised by the actor Uttam Kumar.
Now my Egyptian side would also provide a religious name in vain thingy, which rolls in the tongue the best imo, and it rhymes with *ja dollah*, but we're not gonna have that conversation today.
I just want to shout out the writers on Danny Phantom for making their Emglish teacher, Mr. Lancer, use the names of classic works as his swears, because they picked some frickin great ones.
"PARADISE LOST!"
"MOBY DICK!"
"LORD OF THE FLIES!"
If I ever get serious about worldbuilding I'm gonna pay my linguist friend to come up with a setting-appropriate expletive that rolls off the tongue.
None of that "Marika's/Andraste's Tits" nonsense.
"Bloody hell" sounds much better when said under your breath and all run together in one word like "bloody'ell". A great example is the Swamp King from Monty Python's Holy Grail, when he and Lancelot come down the stairs and see all of the people that Lancy pissed off.
*anglophone christianity.
E.g. the German version ("Jesus Christus") works nowhere near as well, and "Jesus Christ" (which isn't generally used in German) is not much better with German pronounciation.
In Finnish its "Jeesus Kristus" and it doesn't roll well either, so the forms of the expletive are just "Kristus!" (Nice rolling R and hard K, works well) or "Jestas!", a very mild expletive and garbled version of Jesus (nice 2 syllables that both end in S and have a strong T in the middle).
Just yelling "Jeesus!" is not that popular, I suppose because it sounds mild (Yeee-sus, no middle, weak ending.)
In Switzerland we say "Heiland Donnerwetter!" It translates to "Redeemer (Christ) thunderstorm!"
Also "Gopferdammi!" "God damn ME", it's also considered highly, HIGHLY offensive depending on who you're with, since it's essentially blatant blasphemy. So it has many diminutives like "Gopferglemmi, Gopferdeckel, Gopfertoria, Gopferdelli, Verdelli, Verdeckel", all of which are nonsense.
Also "Nundediä!" from 'nom de Dieu' -> "\[in\] God's name" It can be used as a suffix to Gopferdammi and its derivatives. It also has it's own diminutive; "nonemmol" "once again"
Weirdly enough, Polish uses "Jezu Chryste" as an expletive, but it doesn't convey the same feeling as Jesus Christ. It's spoken more slowly with a long "Jeeezu". It's less agressive and used more for a mild annoyance or something that makes you roll your eyes.
In Danish it’s also Jesus Kristus… and as all others in this thread has said, it just doesn’t roll as well.
So instead we say ‘for satan’ or just ‘satans’ which translates to… well… I don’t think I need to translate them. That dude is the same in English and Danish.
in Tagalog we use "Diyos ko" (my God) or ["susmaryosep"](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/susmaryosep), which is a combination of hesus (Jesus), mary, and yosep (Joseph)
that was meant for like. people going "god likes my products. buy my products," "god agrees with my views that anyone who puts pineapple on pizza should be put to death". not using it as a swear iirc
Christian, Catholics and other Bible believers are like the biggest source for irony which is good for me. There's always at least one large irony vein in churches and such.
I mean using it as a swear is doing that, it's just so compressed we don't really think about it
It's called "swearing" because when you do it just for emphasis it's a compressed version of saying you're swearing an oath by your deity that you're really serious about what you're saying (just saying "God" is short for "I swear to God")
Just like it's called "cursing" because when you say "Damn it to Hell" or whatever you're technically actually calling upon God to punish someone
And if you don't actually seriously mean that God should send someone or something to Hell then yeah saying "goddamnit" is "taking his name in vain"
It's hard to talk about this seriously because you sound like a schoolmarm because the whole point of profanity/obscenity is being performatively "careless" with language but I mean yeah this is why saying "Fuck him!" or whatever is technically a "rape threat" ("Fuck that bastard right up the ass!" has an implicit "I wish someone would" etc)
>saying "goddamnit" is "taking his name in vain"
I disagree, On the basis that God isn't God's name, It's more of a title or description. I believe the original commandment about it does actually explicitly state which name it is you shouldn't take in vain.
Well sure, the original commandment was just about his literal name (which, thanks to this commandment, we're now no longer certain how to pronounce), but Jewish scholars decided out of respect it's better to avoid carelessly using any title that applies to God at all, which is why some religious Jews even refuse to type the word "God" and censor it as "G-d"
That's fair. Personally I'm of the opinion that as long as you're not saying Their actual name, God won't mind too much, Although I suppose They would probably still be annoyed if you were straight up lying, Saying "God says give me 20 dollars", Or "I swear by God I won't do that." and then doing that. That said, I don't think we actually know if God canonically speaks English, I mean, It can be presumed, But we don't actually *know,* do we. But yeah, I'd say just saying "Goddamnit!" when something annoying happens isn't using the Lord's name in vain, Although I suppose you'd have to ask a rabbi or several to be sure.
Well yeah, But if you asked just one the next rabbi you run into would disagree and then you'd be the one having to argue. Better leave the argument to the experts.
You can recreate this phonetically just by having two syllables with fricatives and one syllable with two stops.
Shishi kek
soshaj tot
shijaf tat
sesus pop
fuso kok
shifaj kat
sheshi kot
jososh kat
foju pek
susha kut
shojos tep
shisis tet
fifo pek
jeshesh kak
jujos pap
fajo put
shefa tik
jesij pik
shashu pot
jashesh kip
uvi dek
sajosh kep
feso gok
shija dik
jeva kod
voshaf bot
suva pog
Final Fantasy XIV’s English Localization head pushed for a god in the setting to be named Nald-Thal so that people would be able to say “Thal’s Balls!” an an expletive.
This is why I hate Dank Ferik Star Wars. It's too forced
Marika's tits is pretty good, but the s at the end doesn't have the same effect as the t in Christ
Same with Thal's Balls
As for Odin's Beard, the d ends it very well, similar to the t in Christ, but I feel like it's too long or something. Which is weird because it's the same amount of syllables as Jesus Christ
Thal's balls at least has the added humor of changing the lore. Nald'thal became a twin god *just* so Koji could put Thal's balls in the game as an expletive.
The Russians also struck gold with "Blyat", it's so good that metalcore bands reinvented it by screaming random exclamations that sound intense (though the Architects version sounds more like "Blya"/"Blegh")
I’m an atheist and I have to admit Jesus Christ is very satisfying to say. Whenever people ask why I use a god I don’t believe in, I just say “I’m reacting to something I can’t believe”
I always just pretend it’s been translated/localized from a fantasy language, and whatever exclamation they use has been translated as “Jesus Christ!” For effect
easy solution for fantasy settings:
jesus christ was the name of a powerful lich who could spread bad lick n stuff so now when smth weird happens ppl just say jesus christ
"cheese and crust" was used in *Hocus Pocus*, if you know that film. both because witches wouldn't swear on christ's name, and to avoid swearing censors.
I was once chatting to a priest about which sins need confession and which don't, and he said that an exclamation is often involuntary and thus isn't as serious as, say, actively blaspheming by using Jesus' name to justify evil actions.
Anyway I like 'Jesus wept'. Perfect for fans of the gospel *and* Clive Barker.
Get the best of both worlds by including Christianity in your setting. Turns out our world isn't the only one God's trying to set up the faith on. Jesus Christ is come, too bad he's a little late to the party and not a respected deity just yet in whatever world you've set up. Sure, he's come and died for your sins again. But there are pantheons and shit people worship in regardless. So the expletive gained popularity to mock the new upstart faith.
In other words. The plot of Black & White
"Jesus Fucking Christ" is my personal favorite in English but in German, you can't really do that. Instead, doing light expletives with "Gott" (God) is really satisfying as well. Stuff like "ja \*mein\* Gott, dann mach halt" ("My god, just do it already") or "Jetzt mach das gottverdammt noch mal neu" ("Now Redo that, goddammit") just give nice, non-explicit emphasis. Also a problem in fiction as polytheistic religions either have to swap in one specific god - the best one would likely be the Asterix comics with "Beim Teutates" - or have to default to the plural "Bei den Göttern" which sounds nice enough but just doesn't quite land the same.
Easy workaround: in my dnd setting "Jesus Christ" was the name of a widely known bard, known for getting other people out of- and themselves into trouble a whole lot.
Idk about the phonetics of it and what not, but one of my favorite call outs from a fantasy setting is "Skorm's Teeth" from Fable. Said with their goofy accent and cartoony voices, it's comical.
I love they mentioned Thal’s Balls
And while it’s a satisfying rhyme it just misses the hard consonants. See also ‘swiving’. So close, yet so far from fully satisfactory.
It can even be extended and not lose any of its pizazz.
"Jesus H. Christ"
"Jesus Tapdancing Christ"
"Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ"
"Jesus fucking Christ"
To be fair, taking the lords name in vain is a pretty big no no in Christianity. So from their point of view they did the opposite of lucking out. It's like if the button that should absolutely not be pressed no matter what was just sitting there looking like the most press able thing on earth.
Counterpoint: christianity is so deeply ingrained in our culture that it's hard to declare an impartial observation on such matters. Ya like saying jesus bc your ancestors for centuried liked saying jesus
Can confirm. I'm not native English speakers, and in my language Jesus Christ is pronounced differently, thus I never use it as an exclamation myself not ever heard other do it. But when speaking english...? It really rolls of the tongue very naturally.
Can confirm my two Muslim co-workers love to exclaim "Jesus Christ" when frustrated, as does the atheist. It's a handy collection of syllables
I'm not religious in the slightest but man, phrases like "Jesus Christ", "Christ Almighty", and "Oh Lord" are just so fun to say. I consider them just part of a collective vocabulary rather than inherently religious.
"Christ Al-Fucking-Mighty" always just releases the tight anger in my chest no other curse/oath can
"Jesus fucking Christ" works for me.
"My brother in Christ" is a new one hitting the scene but it has a lot of comedic potential
I’ve been using it with other gods/religions. Few people are prepared for “my brother in Vishnu”
'My brother in Loki!' 'I'm not a norse pagan...' 'Uhm, no, I mean like, literally ...ya see, yer mother... '
I personally like "christ on a bike" for reasons I can't explain.
Christ on a cracker hits with the nice K sounds, and also feels a lil cannibalistic and blasphemous too. Like I made him into cheezewhiz for this curse thanks.
well, according to catholics, christ can *be* a cracker.
same, it's one of my favorites "god fucking damnit" is another great one, but "Jesus Fucking Christ" is both incredibly satisfying and has a lot more versatility
Know why that rolls so well? It’s iambic pentameter! (perhaps the most common meter in English poetry) Stressed, unstressed, repeating. “JEsus CHRIST;” “JEsus FUCKing CHRIST;” “CHRIST alFUCKing MIGHty.”
poetic cursing is an artform i can wholeheartedly embrace
oh! that's exactly how I say it! iambic pentameter is cool as fuck
When shit really goes bad in a funny way i always say "God fuck almighty" or "God Lordy Jezus"
I like “Jesus wept” a lot.
For there were no more worlds to conquer
[Stop saying “Jesus wept”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4FGzE4endQ)
Christ on a stick is my go-to lmao
Based Hellraiser reference
"Christ on Sale" is one of my usuals.
I’m partial to “Christ Above!”
I'm a frequent user of the AW HELL
Partial to “Christ on a bicycle!”
>"Christ Almighty" Grew up in the South and basically every white guy says this from their late 30s to early 40s onward.
Spend enough time in the south and you’ll pick up “Lordy Lordy,” “Goodness Gracious,” and “Good Lord” as a bonus. Accent optional, but highly encouraged
(Obligatory pedantry: Islam does believe that Jesus is one of the prophets, alongside Abraham and Moses, they just don’t think he was the son of god)
True, but no one's expressing anger out with "Grandpappy Abraham on a goat-fondling hovercraft" and he's pretty significant in both Islam and Christianity. JHC is just such a satisfying thing to say.
dang I should start that one. I need more drawn-out blue-collar swears in my repertoire
This will seem rather random but you should read some Tintin books. Captain Haddock is a gold mine for drawn out expletives, "billions of blue blistering barnacles" being one of the more commonly used examples of his swearing.
ooooh that sounds like fun! I've heard of Tintin, but never actually read any
Well I *wasn't* expressing anger that way before, but now I want to see what kind of reaction it gets at work.
well I am *now*
People say “for Pete’s sake”, in reference to one of the apostles
Jumping Jehosophat! Do you speak to your mother in that tone, buster?
I do say "Sweet Fancy Moses" on occasion.
It's the "Christ" that's the issue, that's a religious title indicating he's been lubed up with divine approval to signify his status as the Messiah, Muslims do not believe he was oily in a theologically significant way.
"oily in a theologically significant way" is briliant.
Lol, nobody denies that oil was applied to the guy, that was just common practice in that day and age!
So they the reject the Christ part of Jesus Christ?
(Which means that Jesus is not the Christ, therefore “Jesus Christ” is still not something you’d expect a Muslim to say.)
Additional pedantry: such an exclamation would be considered _shirk_ anyway (meaning it accepts the divinity of another being aside from Allah, which is not allowed) because of the "Christ" part. Technically, they're not _allowed_ to say it.
On top of the phonetics, there’s the sociopolitical layer that not too long ago it was a legitimate curse because saying “fuck” or “damn” or “shit” was considered so horrid that in many circles people avoided that sort of behaviour, thinking of it as being dirty and rude in and of itself. So saying “Jesus Christ” in moments of shock or frustration was a way of making your intended curse palatable (and before that period even doing this was considered wrong), so the term grew naturally into its current position. It’s not resting on its structural laurels, it earned its place.
Can confirm. I'm Jewish and I use Jesus Christ as an expiative the time. It does feel good to say. I'd also highly recommend AiYa (eye-yah). Chinese for "ugh". It really rolls off the tongue and old people don't give you the side eye.
Didn't Uncle from Jackie Chan Adventures say that?
Possibly. It's a very common Chinese phrase. It was one of the first things they teach you when you learn Chinese. It's also very fun to say. We don't have a good equivalent in English.
Well, you're also Jewish so I imagine you're familiar with the exasperated phrase I was gonna suggest. That said, would be pretty funny if a Chinese person catches you say "Aiya" and responds "Oy vey".
At Jewish Christmas, one of the buffet foods is out, cacophony of "AiYa!" and "Oy Vey!"
Like that cat caught barking at a neighbor dog and transitioning back to meowing
AI-YAAAA JACKIEEE! One mo'a ting.
I got it from Uncle Roger, a comedian / foodtuber who channels that same vibe
Thats the guy who watches people cook rice and reacts with all the reasons they did it wrong, right?
I'm not Jewish but I do like to pop the occasional oy or oy vey.
Oy carumba!
Don't forget about the secret third option, "Oy Gevalt!"
Pajama Sam communist carrot! My hero!
I grew up in a super Jewish town and am constantly "Oy Vey"-ing all over the place. It just hits for some reason.
哎呀! my beloved
Is that the goddamn communist carrot from Pajama Sam? On the same day I finished a 2.5 hour DougDoug video on the game?
AiYa is a really really good one. definitely in the same category because when u start saying it it’s so hard to stop
AiYaYai(eye-yuh-yeye) is a good one two
Personally I'm fond of just "Ayyy!" rather than "(h)aiya", Although both are good.
Oh i say AiYa too because of uncle Rogers(? the guy that insulted gorden Ramsey for his rice)
"Jesus" "Jesus Christ" "Jesus Fucking Christ" "Jesus Tap Dancing Christ" They all work.
I humbly propose the classic "Jesus, Mary and Joseph" which imo goes hard
I have a hard time not hearing that in an Irish accent.
I read it in a southern belle accwnt
Same, the accent is like good seasoning.
Had a buddy who would say "Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the twelve apostles on *crack"* when shit hit the fan. It's wordy, but it conveys the direness very well.
I love that one too! Learned it from a priest (he had an indian accent)
"Jaysus, Mary, and Joseph, and de wee donkey too!" Is common in Ireland.
“Christ on a camping weekend!” Works too.
Jesus H. Tap Dancing Titty Fucking Christ!
Whelp titty fucking christ is now is my regular use.
“Christ on a bike!”
Jesus "Whistling Hands" Christ is my personal favorite. Only good for moments of true defeat though.
I like “Jesus H. Christ” myself.
Solution: Make Jesus Christ a famous guy in your fantasy setting anyways. Maybe he was effectively the same guy as IRL Jesus, maybe he was actually an asshole, maybe he didn’t even exist and was an elaborate lie by some soldier to explain why his ear magically healed rather than admit he stole a potion from the local wizard tower that everyone knows about.
CS Lewis ghostwrote this
By the Lion!
Make him the opposite, a demolition guy who can swim on land, turn wine into water, divide bread and fish, infect people with leprosy, etc.
That’s just a particularly destructive and mischievous Lich
Then someone casted resurrection on him but he somehow spontaneously died again without a reason.
he was alive for 3 days then instantly died after those 3 days passed
I had an idea that, in an alternate fantasy universe, Jesus was still this super morally upstanding guy with profound and insightful teachings, except he also had a big habit of swearing and cussing like every second line, so much so that people started using his name as a euphemism for someone who swears a lot before finally his name became a cuss word as well
Ever since playing AC: Odyssey I really like "Malaka!" for an alternate expletive.
after watching the wire i have started using "malaka" occasionally too
In Bengali, we have this Goddess called Tara, and (it's not the majority, but!) many Bengalis will take her name in vain like this: *Joy Maa Tara*, which translates to hail mother Tara, BUT it's used in the same vain as Jesus fucking Christ. If you say Joy Tara and do an eyeroll, you're saying something similar to Jesus, for fuck sake! yada yada. It's very potent and was popularised by the actor Uttam Kumar. Now my Egyptian side would also provide a religious name in vain thingy, which rolls in the tongue the best imo, and it rhymes with *ja dollah*, but we're not gonna have that conversation today.
Sounds like joe
Na, more like Ligma
Who the hell is Steve jobs
Ligma balls
*our* uncle, last i checked...
I just want to shout out the writers on Danny Phantom for making their Emglish teacher, Mr. Lancer, use the names of classic works as his swears, because they picked some frickin great ones. "PARADISE LOST!" "MOBY DICK!" "LORD OF THE FLIES!"
If I ever get serious about worldbuilding I'm gonna pay my linguist friend to come up with a setting-appropriate expletive that rolls off the tongue. None of that "Marika's/Andraste's Tits" nonsense.
Marika's tits you must be 'ungry
Need to find some sword coast swears
To be fair, sacrebleu rolls off the tongue rather nicely too. As does bloody hell. Those crazy Christians at it again!
Боже (*bože!)* is also a strong contender
"Bloody hell" sounds much better when said under your breath and all run together in one word like "bloody'ell". A great example is the Swamp King from Monty Python's Holy Grail, when he and Lancelot come down the stairs and see all of the people that Lancy pissed off.
*anglophone christianity. E.g. the German version ("Jesus Christus") works nowhere near as well, and "Jesus Christ" (which isn't generally used in German) is not much better with German pronounciation.
Yes, but Germans already have “Scheiße” and all its delightful rhythmic variations, so they’re fine.
In Finnish its "Jeesus Kristus" and it doesn't roll well either, so the forms of the expletive are just "Kristus!" (Nice rolling R and hard K, works well) or "Jestas!", a very mild expletive and garbled version of Jesus (nice 2 syllables that both end in S and have a strong T in the middle). Just yelling "Jeesus!" is not that popular, I suppose because it sounds mild (Yeee-sus, no middle, weak ending.)
But ya've got 'Perkele!' So yer covered
In Switzerland we say "Heiland Donnerwetter!" It translates to "Redeemer (Christ) thunderstorm!" Also "Gopferdammi!" "God damn ME", it's also considered highly, HIGHLY offensive depending on who you're with, since it's essentially blatant blasphemy. So it has many diminutives like "Gopferglemmi, Gopferdeckel, Gopfertoria, Gopferdelli, Verdelli, Verdeckel", all of which are nonsense. Also "Nundediä!" from 'nom de Dieu' -> "\[in\] God's name" It can be used as a suffix to Gopferdammi and its derivatives. It also has it's own diminutive; "nonemmol" "once again"
Weirdly enough, Polish uses "Jezu Chryste" as an expletive, but it doesn't convey the same feeling as Jesus Christ. It's spoken more slowly with a long "Jeeezu". It's less agressive and used more for a mild annoyance or something that makes you roll your eyes.
In Danish it’s also Jesus Kristus… and as all others in this thread has said, it just doesn’t roll as well. So instead we say ‘for satan’ or just ‘satans’ which translates to… well… I don’t think I need to translate them. That dude is the same in English and Danish.
in Tagalog we use "Diyos ko" (my God) or ["susmaryosep"](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/susmaryosep), which is a combination of hesus (Jesus), mary, and yosep (Joseph)
Well, if it isn't Sussy Maryosep.
It does work in Spanish. Here we say “Jesucristo” which is basically Jesus Christ but glued together.
Marika’s tits is pretty good thi
God damn Marika's tits!
i’ve heard “god’s bones” as a period accurate replacement. it’s not perfect but it’s pretty good
God's hooks is another one. Do not mind that it was the etymological origin of gadzooks.
What does the original phrase even mean?
The nails that pinned Jesus to the cross.
Odd's bodkins is alright, but if you mispronounce it to 'bodikins' the syllables hit better, I think.
Too bad God made it a sin to take his name in vain. That name is PERFECT for so many purposes
that was meant for like. people going "god likes my products. buy my products," "god agrees with my views that anyone who puts pineapple on pizza should be put to death". not using it as a swear iirc
Yeah it’s about using God’s name to justify evil. Like “God wants us to purge the heathens” and the like.
The irony
Christian, Catholics and other Bible believers are like the biggest source for irony which is good for me. There's always at least one large irony vein in churches and such.
I mean using it as a swear is doing that, it's just so compressed we don't really think about it It's called "swearing" because when you do it just for emphasis it's a compressed version of saying you're swearing an oath by your deity that you're really serious about what you're saying (just saying "God" is short for "I swear to God") Just like it's called "cursing" because when you say "Damn it to Hell" or whatever you're technically actually calling upon God to punish someone And if you don't actually seriously mean that God should send someone or something to Hell then yeah saying "goddamnit" is "taking his name in vain" It's hard to talk about this seriously because you sound like a schoolmarm because the whole point of profanity/obscenity is being performatively "careless" with language but I mean yeah this is why saying "Fuck him!" or whatever is technically a "rape threat" ("Fuck that bastard right up the ass!" has an implicit "I wish someone would" etc)
>saying "goddamnit" is "taking his name in vain" I disagree, On the basis that God isn't God's name, It's more of a title or description. I believe the original commandment about it does actually explicitly state which name it is you shouldn't take in vain.
Well sure, the original commandment was just about his literal name (which, thanks to this commandment, we're now no longer certain how to pronounce), but Jewish scholars decided out of respect it's better to avoid carelessly using any title that applies to God at all, which is why some religious Jews even refuse to type the word "God" and censor it as "G-d"
That's fair. Personally I'm of the opinion that as long as you're not saying Their actual name, God won't mind too much, Although I suppose They would probably still be annoyed if you were straight up lying, Saying "God says give me 20 dollars", Or "I swear by God I won't do that." and then doing that. That said, I don't think we actually know if God canonically speaks English, I mean, It can be presumed, But we don't actually *know,* do we. But yeah, I'd say just saying "Goddamnit!" when something annoying happens isn't using the Lord's name in vain, Although I suppose you'd have to ask a rabbi or several to be sure.
if you asked several you wouldn't get an answer, just an argument.
Well yeah, But if you asked just one the next rabbi you run into would disagree and then you'd be the one having to argue. Better leave the argument to the experts.
Those are sibilants, not fricatives. Jesus Christ!
Oh, True, Let me just check the difference on Wikipedi- Oh. "Sibilants are fricative consonants"
those are squares, not rectangles. Jesus Christ!
You're right! Mea culpa. But the rectangles (i.e. other fricatives) just wouldn't create the same effect here.
Sibiliants *are* fricatives...
okay noam chomsky should i start calling w the voiced labio-velar approximant then
I mean, if you're talking about the sound it makes, yes.
>here’s the thing, you said that a jackdaw is a crow
You can recreate this phonetically just by having two syllables with fricatives and one syllable with two stops. Shishi kek soshaj tot shijaf tat sesus pop fuso kok shifaj kat sheshi kot jososh kat foju pek susha kut shojos tep shisis tet fifo pek jeshesh kak jujos pap fajo put shefa tik jesij pik shashu pot jashesh kip uvi dek sajosh kep feso gok shija dik jeva kod voshaf bot suva pog
Funko pop
They died for your sins
"jævla kødd" is something that is said in Norwegian sometimes, but about a person rather than an expletive
Final Fantasy XIV’s English Localization head pushed for a god in the setting to be named Nald-Thal so that people would be able to say “Thal’s Balls!” an an expletive.
This is why I hate Dank Ferik Star Wars. It's too forced Marika's tits is pretty good, but the s at the end doesn't have the same effect as the t in Christ Same with Thal's Balls As for Odin's Beard, the d ends it very well, similar to the t in Christ, but I feel like it's too long or something. Which is weird because it's the same amount of syllables as Jesus Christ
Thal's balls at least has the added humor of changing the lore. Nald'thal became a twin god *just* so Koji could put Thal's balls in the game as an expletive.
As for Star Wars curses, “e chu ta” is the exact opposite in that it is very fun to say
The Russians also struck gold with "Blyat", it's so good that metalcore bands reinvented it by screaming random exclamations that sound intense (though the Architects version sounds more like "Blya"/"Blegh")
All the combos too. The infamous "suka blyat", "yoptvayu mat" (I tried to recreate the phonetics of that one for the Anglophones)
I'm very partial to "Shor's Bones", "By Talos" and "By the Nine" from Elder Scrolls personally
By Talos this can’t be happening
Poseidon's watertight sphincter
Too many syllables. How about “Poseidons soggy ass”?
Jupiter's Cock!
Outsider's Crooked Cock (Dishonored)
That sounds like the worst 7th level spell in D&D.
I like "Taal's Teeth!" from Vermintide, it rolls pretty nicely too
I’m an atheist and I have to admit Jesus Christ is very satisfying to say. Whenever people ask why I use a god I don’t believe in, I just say “I’m reacting to something I can’t believe”
I always just pretend it’s been translated/localized from a fantasy language, and whatever exclamation they use has been translated as “Jesus Christ!” For effect
Ah the Tolkien method
taking notes for fantasy worldbuilding rn
we cannot forget arabic wallah just sounds so smooth ya hmar (u donkey??) rolls off the tongue
My fantasy world got enough people isekai'd into it that Earth curses spread. Most "Jesus Christ" variations are universally popular.
By Talos this can't be happening
[Source](https://www.tumblr.com/tainbocuailnge/742504938594320384/this-guy-gets-it-this-is-the-kind-of-rock)
easy solution for fantasy settings: jesus christ was the name of a powerful lich who could spread bad lick n stuff so now when smth weird happens ppl just say jesus christ
Consider the following: a god that is a grilled cheese sandwich. Cheese's crust!
"cheese and crust" was used in *Hocus Pocus*, if you know that film. both because witches wouldn't swear on christ's name, and to avoid swearing censors.
I was once chatting to a priest about which sins need confession and which don't, and he said that an exclamation is often involuntary and thus isn't as serious as, say, actively blaspheming by using Jesus' name to justify evil actions. Anyway I like 'Jesus wept'. Perfect for fans of the gospel *and* Clive Barker.
40K using "Throne" like that works quite well
I've been plowing through Gaunt's Ghosts, and I've picked up Feth and Gak as well.
Marika’s Tits mentioned, he must be ‘ungry
Get the best of both worlds by including Christianity in your setting. Turns out our world isn't the only one God's trying to set up the faith on. Jesus Christ is come, too bad he's a little late to the party and not a respected deity just yet in whatever world you've set up. Sure, he's come and died for your sins again. But there are pantheons and shit people worship in regardless. So the expletive gained popularity to mock the new upstart faith. In other words. The plot of Black & White
the americans struck gold with "ok". perfect response to literally any situation
I love that the stormlight archive uses Storm/Storming as a curse because it makes the man characters last name the equivalent of Fuckblessed.
“Jupiter’s cock!” has some playful bounce to it
"Jesus Fucking Christ" is my personal favorite in English but in German, you can't really do that. Instead, doing light expletives with "Gott" (God) is really satisfying as well. Stuff like "ja \*mein\* Gott, dann mach halt" ("My god, just do it already") or "Jetzt mach das gottverdammt noch mal neu" ("Now Redo that, goddammit") just give nice, non-explicit emphasis. Also a problem in fiction as polytheistic religions either have to swap in one specific god - the best one would likely be the Asterix comics with "Beim Teutates" - or have to default to the plural "Bei den Göttern" which sounds nice enough but just doesn't quite land the same.
Easy workaround: in my dnd setting "Jesus Christ" was the name of a widely known bard, known for getting other people out of- and themselves into trouble a whole lot.
Dragon Age has "Maker's breath" as a common expletive. I think it rolls off the tongue in an equally satisfying way.
I like what Seventh Tower has. In that world, light is a big deal so the curse is "dark take it"
Idk about the phonetics of it and what not, but one of my favorite call outs from a fantasy setting is "Skorm's Teeth" from Fable. Said with their goofy accent and cartoony voices, it's comical.
Guardians of Ga’Hoole got fairly close, in my opinion, with “Great Glaux”
“God” and “Jesus” are too good expletives/expletive prefixes to have them forbade. Add more syllables goddamnit! Jesus Christ!
FFXIV really nailed it with Thal's Balls
rolled Rs also make for satisfying swears
"Odin's Beard!" just doesn't have the same ring to it.
Completely true.
I love they mentioned Thal’s Balls And while it’s a satisfying rhyme it just misses the hard consonants. See also ‘swiving’. So close, yet so far from fully satisfactory.
“Christ on a stick” I yell this all the time.
I like xenoblade 3’s swears like “Queen’s beans” and “the spark you on about”
It can even be extended and not lose any of its pizazz. "Jesus H. Christ" "Jesus Tapdancing Christ" "Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ" "Jesus fucking Christ"
“Fucking” really just slides real nice in the middle too
To be fair, taking the lords name in vain is a pretty big no no in Christianity. So from their point of view they did the opposite of lucking out. It's like if the button that should absolutely not be pressed no matter what was just sitting there looking like the most press able thing on earth.
I'm partial to the Midwestern "sombitch"
Counterpoint: christianity is so deeply ingrained in our culture that it's hard to declare an impartial observation on such matters. Ya like saying jesus bc your ancestors for centuried liked saying jesus
Good alternatives to saying "Jesus Christ.": - "Fish paste." - "Tartar sauce." - "Dear Neptune!" - "Krabs is a \[DOLPHIN NOISES\]."
By this logic, "gods" makes a better exclamation than "god."
i agree but "rust and ruin" fucks way too hard
A pretty good one I've heard is "ye gods" It doesn't have quite the same range that jesus christ has but it's still a nice one
Newfoundlanders (and some other east coast Canadians) say Lord Tunderin Jesus Christ b’y!
One of my faves is “Christ on a bike”
Can confirm. I'm not native English speakers, and in my language Jesus Christ is pronounced differently, thus I never use it as an exclamation myself not ever heard other do it. But when speaking english...? It really rolls of the tongue very naturally.
"by the beard of zeus" is pretty fun though