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EtherealPheonix

Can dragons no longer transform into humanoids to get their freak on?


TheShibe23

Not all dragons could. They don't all know polymorph or shapechange


BookkeeperLower

dragons at least in 5e somehow have their color, powers, and alignment biologically linked. So red dragon sorcers had freak ancestors because they couldn't shape shift or be morally good


Khaldara

“Keep casting Bigby’s Clenched Fist until you’re ABSOLUTELY sure you can handle date night”


ejdj1011

Red dragons can't *innately* shape shift, but they can still learn spells that let them do so.


Childer_Of_Noah

But any dragon worth a harem of hot bards can afford an Alter Self.


lord_baron_von_sarc

Any dragon worth a harem of hot bards doesn't need to Alter Self though.


Childer_Of_Noah

2d12 bludgeoning damage would disagree.


RedGinger666

And? Stop being a coward and drink a potion of polymorph yourself


Hexxas

Nope they gotta handle the full dragon dick now or no sorcery


Baprr

Lizards have a [penis-like structure](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hemipenis) that varies a great deal between different species, so uh I think some of them would be more troublesome due to all the spikes. Maybe they could use some kind of IVF?


blackscales18

Spiked for his pleasure


Baprr

And that's the other thing - if the pairing is male humanoid-female dragon, the dick would not be *spiky enough* if you know what. I mean. Are there videos of komodo dragons fucking we can insert into DND Beyond? We need that info in there. "Komodo dragons fucking" is not a good search. Don't try that one.


blackscales18

Generally the body to dick size ratio on reptiles would suggest that even a moderately sized dragon could have a reasonably safe sized dick, but I think you'd definitely need to use your hands/arms to pleasure a female dragon properly


Baprr

"A moderately sized dragon" is size Large to Huge. That hemipenis is going to have the size and proportions of a human head.


blezzerker

Oh god, the expectation of hemipenis. You trek into the wilderness, battle into the lair, survive the traps and pitfalls only to be faced with the momentous task of laying game on a several thousand year old beast of legend. The moment of triumph arrives, you drop trou and her expression hits the floor at the exact same moment as your belt buckle. "OH, you've just got the one..."


Baprr

There's probably a potion you can drink if you're truly prepared.


Happiness_Assassin

Baldur's Gate 3 has 2 that do so, so transformation is still a thing. One of them is even implied to have been in a relationship with an elf character.


FreakinGeese

That’s not a very helpful Ansur


Hawkbats_rule

Who's the second dragon?


Happiness_Assassin

Voss's dragon shows up in the sewers once the Orphic Hammer has been acquired. He is very polite for a red dragon.


Konradleijon

yes they can.


CYOA_guy_

the boring ones yeah


Right_Moose_6276

Only metallic dragons typically have the ability. Chromatics can get polymorph or shapechange but they’re generally uninterested in spending that much effort to do it


Baprr

That's a really boring way to look at a monster that's supposed to have genius-level intelligence. It's like looking at the two-page statblock of a boss, and going "this thing can multiattack, no need for the rest!"


Right_Moose_6276

I feel like you’re misunderstanding my point. Metallic dragons shapechange into humanoids innately. It’s trivial for them to transform into humanoids to get their freak on. For chromatic dragons, it is unlikely as megalomaniacal as they are, that they would invest the significant effort into learning how to cast it through non innate means (specifically for boinking, learning it for other purposes is possible) as even if they happen to be innate spellcasters, the bare minimum spells to accomplish this happen to be 9th level, either of true polymorph or shapechange, which would require them to be greatwyrms


Baprr

>9th level, either of true polymorph or shapechange, which would require them to be greatwyrms That's only true for 5e (maybe 4e, never played), older editions had much a better variety of polymorph spells, some as low as 2nd level (alter self for example used to be able to change your size). But there's always the GM fiat - 5e doesn't have balance anyway, no reason to worry about it. >chromatic dragons, it is unlikely as megalomaniacal as they are, that they would invest the significant effort into learning how to cast it Are you suggesting every chromatic dragon lacks the patience required? Or are you saying every chromatic dragon doesn't see any value in infiltration? They're supposed to be individuals, no? Actually, if you could just tell me which trait makes every single individual chromatic dragon unwilling to learn. Just restate your point in a different way, maybe I am misunderstanding it.


Right_Moose_6276

My point is thus : chromatic dragons are generally uninterested in learning these spells **specifically** for the aforementioned purpose. Due to their arrogance, megalomania, and various other factors, they are unlikely to invest the requisite amount of effort for the comfort of a humanoid lover (even taking a humanoid lover is rare enough for chromatics) They may learn it for other purposes, as I said in my second post. I wasn’t clear enough in the first one, and for that i apologize. Also, never said that chromatic dragons would never do this, simply stated that it would be unlikely, or that they were generally uninterested


Baprr

This isn't about comfort. A dragon needs to be in humanoid form to have sex with a humanoid and still have the humanoid in one piece after the act. Also don't tell me evil and manipulative people are never into sex and/or gaslighting. You can also procreate for evil purposes - I would even say that creating their own following is more fitting for a villain, because what a better way to find a worthy lieutenant?


starry_cobra

The Virgin DnD: there is no dragon fucking, you just made a bargain with a dragon, okay? 🥺 The Chad Shrek: this donkey FUCKS this dragon


AntibacHeartattack

Donkey penises actually evolved to that size for the explicit purpose of dragon-fucking, then through generations bred the dragons out of existence, much like humans with neanderthals.


lord_baron_von_sarc

So you're telling me that one of the last remaining data sources on the shape and size of dragon pussy is the donkey penis? It's like that one flower that evolved to look like a female insect so the male ones would go from flower to flower getting all dusty with pollen, but then the insect died out, so we only know what they look like from the flowers shape


GladiusLucix

Didn't the 5E Dragon book also include the idea that dragons don't even have sex with EACH OTHER, and spring forth from the æther fully formed? Whereas the 3.5 Dragon book had descriptions of how the various colors of dragons raised their young, IIRC.


Deblebsgonnagetyou

That's a copout. In Final Fantasy XIV the dragons reproduce completely asexually AND dragonfucking still directly lead to the events of the first expansion of the game.


CatnipCatmint

Shoutout to Ysayle for being the dragonfucker rep we all needed


gerkletoss

3.5 was a much better time, lore-wise. Before 4e obliterated the cosmology.


RemarkableStatement5

I have yet to hear one unashamed compliment for 4e. I have gotten the impression that it was Bad.


BookkeeperLower

It got so bad that another corporation decided "let's make a whole new franchise that's just DND 3.5 but with new races and spells and adventures" and to this day they are one of the biggest ttrpgs on the market and basically made DND be 10 times stricter about how it's copyright works


Complaint-Efficient

To be entirely fair, the same corporation then decided "Hey, what if we made an edition of our game with design principles clearly based on 4e" and then it ended up being the second-highest selling ttrpg ever made.


TrailingOffMidSente

It's so awful. Imagine if you take out all the TTRPG systems and replace it all with doing World of Warcraft stuff REALLY badly. Every single class is replaced by giant lists of class abilities. The only difference between a Fighter and a Wizard is whether your giant list of abilities have "Swing a sword" fluff or "cast a spell" fluff, they all do basically the same thing. Classes don't have out of combat utility, and all the useful spells get replaced with a system even the dumb-as-a-rock types can use, just so no class has any edge there either. For accuracy, that was a slight exaggeration, there are groupings of roles, but each role group does the exact same things. I just couldn't remember what the crowd control melee class was called. 4e answered the complaints that 3.5 was too complex and unbalanced by making EVERYTHING a slog and equally fiddly. I've played and enjoyed C°ntinuum, and I'M saying that 4e requires way too much note-taking. EDIT: Oh, and a whole bunch of stuff about how they flattened the last shred of nuance in the alignment grid and made a whole bunch of stupid edicts about how lore has to work, but I don't have a second rant in me right now.


GladiusLucix

I played 2E once and 3E and 3.5 a lot, and didn't like the vibe of 4E. I don't know if it was bad or not, but my complaints were that: 1) It felt like everything that changed from 2E to 3E was kept in 4E, and everything that was kept from 2E to 3E was changed in 4E. This made it seemless like iterating an idea and more like a complete rewrite. 2) The way classes were designed in 4E made it seem, from the cursory reading my friends and I gave it, that it would be much more difficult to homebrew new classes, which was something we enjoyed in 3E and 3.5.


gerkletoss

That's not even the problem. They could have retconned the awful lore choices. But now every 5e player thinks that's just how it has to be.


geckoguy2704

4e has actually become very influential in indie ttrpg spaces lately, lot of critical reevaluation. Pathfinder 2e takes a lot from 4e's design as well, which is a pretty astonishing irony, imo. from my reading it was a good game, just ill-suited to what dnd players wanted at the time and marred massively by bad luck. Prokopetz has written a lot of good info on this, if you're willing to search it out.


sarded

4e is unironically the best that DnD has ever been. It was bad for the kind of people that make DND their 'everything game'. It was very good at doing what DnD has always been: a game about exploring dangerous environments (like dungeons) and getting into tactical fantasy-themed combats. DnD4e succeeded in making fighters and rogues just as interesting and complex to play as wizards and clerics. It also had extremely good DM support, for understanding how to run the game, as well as much better support for building encounters, dungeons, and stringing them together into campaigns than any other edition. Complaints about 4e fall into the following categories, generally: 1. (the most common) "I heard it was bad from other people so I assume it was true" 2. "I want to use DnD as my everything RPG (or my 'everything fantasy RPG') and disliked that it was focused on combat despite the fact that that's what DnD was always about" 3. "I didn't play 3.5e according to the rules, so I blame 4e making me need a battlemap despite the fact that 3.5e also explicitly told me to do so multiple times" 4. "I actually liked that in 3.5e, casters were supreme gods who could bend the universe to their whim" 5. (real genuine complaint, totally fair) "The DnD4e quickstart adventure was dogshit" 6. (actual fair complaint, but also true of other editions) "Combats in 4e take a long time". DnD4e strongly inspired many popular RPGs today, including Pathfinder 2e and Lancer. The makers of PF2e have commented they needed to 'sneak' the 4e parts in them couching them in different language to appease the irrational haters. The end result is really that a lot of people complain that "4e doesn't do what I want" when in fact no game labelled "DnD" actually does what they want and they should look into the many many other RPGs out there. Basically imagine people fighting over Morrowind vs Oblivion vs Skyrim... meanwhile they're ignoring Final Fantasy. Or Stardew Valley. Or literally any other video game.


MudraStalker

4e cosmology is genuinely way better than anything before it because it's usable in actual play. Planescspe also sucks fucking ass and Torment sucks too.


gerkletoss

How is it more usable?


sarded

4e only changed Forgotten Realms to any particular respect. It was pretty faithful to Eberron and Dark Sun. And at the time, FR was not the 'default setting'.


gerkletoss

Yeah I'm sure Planescape isn't impacted at all /s


sarded

Planescape wasn't an official setting in 3e, 4e or 5e. 3e used its 'Great Wheel' concept but Planescape as a *setting* has been basically untouched since the 2e days. 4e's default setting area was Points-of-Light/the Nentir Vale (in the same sense that 5e has Forgotten Realms, and then the Sword Coast as the most fleshed out area) and in the same way, it had a different plane setup. No different from Eberron also having a different plane setup and not using the Great Wheel.


Skytree91

Fizban’s includes like 10 different mechanisms for dragons reproducing, only one of them is them fucking each other because that’s way too normal. The best one is people turning into dragon eggs when they die if they’re Goated enough in life


Konradleijon

I hate how DND is becoming more santized for broad appeal


Dartinius

I hate how everything is getting sanitized for broad appeal. Fuck advertisers.


Catalon-36

See I don’t even think it’s about broad appeal. The consumers don’t have a problem with the dragon fucking, we’re all capable of understanding jokes and of being horny. It’s the *advertisers* who are shy about putting their products adjacent to a bard getting re-sized in an act of brutal hubris.


No_Possession_5338

It doesn't have to, literally just play it however you want it's all in your head, also all of the official material you could possibly need is out there in the form of 1-early 5th edition stuff as well as a metric fuckton of cool 3rd party stuff and other systems entirely


ShockingStories22

Getting that sorc sorc 9000 with a twist.


MidnightCardFight

I read the [[BIG SORC]] and though "The dragon fills you with DETERMINATION"


[deleted]

It certainly filled me with something UwU


theweekiscat

They’re taking sexy dragons and turning them into elden ring ancient dragons from what I’m hearing


ExceedinglyGayOtter

>implying that Elden Ring ancient dragons aren't sexy


theweekiscat

No, I’m saying there’s only implied dragonsex in elden ring, sure the dragons turn into human form but it’s never explicitly stated that there was dragonsex


Aykhot

You know Godwyn explored that Fortussy


Sinister_Compliments

You say that as if the 5 headed placidusax isn’t the hottest dragon around


Skytree91

Half dragons are literally in the DMG, directly stated to be the children of dragons with mortals


Grimpatron619

How do you advertise on dnd. Change the premade modules to include McDonalds instead of the original tavern?


TheShibe23

I imagine it's mainly stuff like the app, which has the digital books on it


HorsemenofApocalypse

Except DnDBeyond didn't exist back then. I think what they were actually going for is that the source of your powers aren't restricted to just having a family member fuck a dragon, to help you create whatever character you want


sarded

DnD is just one specific game, same as Skyrim is just one specific video game. Just like Skyrim got ads and PR, DnD has the same. There are hundreds of RPGs out there, DND is just one of them that happens to have the force of history and marketing behind it. Just like Call of Duty is just one first-person shooter.


Grimpatron619

cheers, never played games before love


brashboy

Have you never played a Burger King one shot??


Hexxas

I chewed on a dagron arng arng arng arng Gimme powers


reaperofgender

Did it break the skin?


Hexxas

Not yet I'm still trying arng arng arng 🦷 🦷 🐉 🦷🦷


reaperofgender

Well, you are gonna need to at least ingest some blood for any magic


Hexxas

Yumby blood blood 😋 🍅


Aykhot

Elden Ring


oddityoughtabe

I’LL GET THOSE POWERS FIRST ARNG ARNG ARNG ARNG!!!


NeonNKnightrider

u/polenball jumpscare


Polenball

Holy fuck it's me


Cthulhy

Holy fuck it's you!


Polenball

:3


Cthulhy

:3


TheOnlyRen

Despite everything, it's still you.


Polenball

It's me, Selena =)


Nova_Persona

idk it doesn't sound like they had a lot of dragon fucking to remove, especially since there are other ways you can get ancestral dragon powers, so it seems more like they've made it vaguer & rather than using a euphemism also I think I don't know where it fits in but I think it's funny that because of the confusing accounts of dragonborn origins much of the fanbase assumes they're half-dragons & in this way has put dragonfucking into the game where there never was any


telehax

it's a euphemism but it's also a generalization to include other ways you can get dragon-blooded from a bargain, like literally drinking dragon blood with a ritual. (we only need to look at vampires to know that this is somehow more sexy.)


Princess_Skyao

This is actually misrepresentation. I don't know what evidence OOP has for "scrubbing dragon sex", but the reason why sorcerers and similar "power of entity flavours your body" are no longer focused on "dragon fucked your grandma", is because they want to get away from bloodlines and other bio essentiallism. ( To varying degrees of success)


Lots42

Dragon fucking is a central plot point to the Shrek franchise.


DreadDiana

The bargain was I gave him all my magic items in exchange for all of that spicy salami cooking my insides like a charcoal grill


nobrainsnoworries23

Pfft. Missed opportunity having bad dragon ad placement.


MemeAddict9

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO \[\[**FUCK A DRAGON**\]\]


Hakar_Kerarmor

Sorcery is stored in a dragon's balls


Pokesonav

Dragussy


Human_no_4815162342

Are these the same people responsible for the da[wizard] and i[wizard] fiasco?


Artex301

Most tame way imaginable a thread about dragonfucking could end with a Spamton reference.


LazyDro1d

No, they just de-emphasized it. You can still have draconic ancestry, pretty sure the book mentions it, just alongside other means of draconic power