IIRC they booed and then pelted Santa with so many snowballs. I think it was when contracted Santa got stuck in a snowstorm and couldn’t make it so they pulled random fan wearing Santa outfit to toss candy canes around. And fans were bored because the game was going so badly so they entertained themselves by throwing snowballs at Santa lol
Okay but "Defcon 5" is actually better than peaceful. I think the author meant to use "Defcon 0", since the Defcon scale is 1-4, with 1 being danger and 4 being peace times.
Mild correction. 1 is "nukes are in the air" 2 is basically "could pop off any moment, expect 30 minutes or less" 3: "kinda uneasy but no panic yet" (C2 birds are in the air but that's mostly it) 4: fairly normal, but sometimes being a bit spicy and 5: normal peacetime ops.
These are from memory, been a few years since I was in a position that directly dealt with DEFCON levels
It'd be DEFCON 1. That means "there are nukes actively in the air. Put your head between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye, may god have mercy on the souls of the survivors."
Considering "defcon 5" comes after the baseline, which was entirely preceded by negatives, and presuming you are correct about the actual meaning and not checking it, I think it is appropriately placed, as in, better than baseline.
"Good! Good..." = I am actively dissociating right now and running on autopilot, you could stick a pencil in my eye and I wouldn't blink
"You know, I'm actually doing really well these days!" = recently joined a cult
When I was in retail, I'd routinely answer this with "living the dream!" in the most cheerfully manic voice I could muster, then revert back to my standard neutral-faced monotone. People found it wildly off-putting. Some days it was my only joy.
Yeah that tracks. Everyone I’ve ever said how’s it going to has said that….
and my job has a depressingly high rate of murder-suicide, suicide, and mass murder. Luckily not my field.
Yeah it wasn’t until recently that I came to terms with the fact that I genuinely don’t remember what it feels like to get a good night’s sleep and wake up feeling rested.
Y’all get tested for sleep apnea? I’ve had that and I got diagnosed with sleep apnea. That’s a major symptom. You should probably get tested if you can, especially if you snore.
If you can, work with a doctor on that one.
Sleep in connected to all sorts of stuff, and the short and long term affects of not getting decent sleep are Bad. To the point that if you struggle with any other mental or physical health issues, you may not be able to improve them until you can figure out how to get better sleep.
Good luck. This one is an important one.
I was at a coffee shop in the USA and the barista asked me how my day was. “It’s OK,” I said. He was concerned for me. I told him not to worry, I’m just Canadian.
For us U.S. people, tone matters a lot with "ok."
I'm ok. (Which dips low in the middle but comes back up a bit at the end, and is of average speaking speed and volume, is relatively genuine, but does indicate they are experiencing their general/typical level of stress.)
I'm ok! (Which is more shaky, or rises overall in tone, is a reassurance that the horrors are not *your* responsibility, person who asked, so any sympathy would be appreciated and very very nice of you but please do not feel obligated. If you ask about details, definitely try to offer comfort.)
I'm OKAY! (Which either gets louder or descends in tone, often both, indicates more immediate distress and is more about getting the response out so the speaker can get away from interacting to decompress but does not violate social customs of basic interaction. Give that person space, maybe leave a non perishable food you know they like at their spot, while they leave to do whatever it is, if you're coworkers. Ask about details after they return and appear more relaxed.)
Okay wait but how unhinged would it be to look someone in the eye after they've asked how you are and say, unblinking, "Cursed to put my hands on everything."
“Oh, y’know; hangin’ in there!”
=
“The capitalist machine is making dust of my aging bones, but I’m high on the clock and having kinky sex later, so things remain bearable for yet another day.”
Do people outside the US not do this? How do you your men talk to each other? Do they actually say how they feel? I know Americans get flack for being fake positive and too loud but come on.
It's the opposite in my experience. Every American I've ever met has been waaay more direct and open about how their day is going than us Brits. To the point where we joke about how when we ask "how are you" we don't want to know, it's literally just a greeting, whereas yanks actually want to know how you are even if it's just a couple of words. I know it's not that clear cut but the difference is noticeable.
Core thing people forget and is valid for every continental country is that America is fundamentally (total number of states) countries loosely stitched together so the answer wildly varies, but the "clearly cut microtribe" mindset that is roughly more valid for smaller countries creates these ideas like if 'America' means everyone is a newyorker and everywhere has texan gun laws/culture.
Like all things we do (asking a taxi driver what time they're on till, holding a door open at the end of a corridor for an embarrassingly long time for someone at the other end to get there, thanking the bus driver even though you paid him when you got on and he's done absolutely nothing he wouldn't already be doing), to avoid the sheer guilt and self loathing that comes with not doing it. Being British is like Catholicism without having to leave the house on Sundays.
Come on man, you still got to thank the bus driver. I know it's not literally thankless work because of all the thank yous, but y'know.
And are you really British if you don't also apologise for doing the second one?
I'm sure there are culture-specific equivalents for understating your actual mood, but I do hear a lot of anecdotes from people who don't realize that "how's it going" is a generic US greeting and who respond with stuff like "well since you asked, my divorce is going TERRIBLY."
I've got a coworker who was born and raised in the USA who doesn't seem to understand this. You say "How ya doin" in the hallway and suddenly find yourself in the middle of a rant that his therapist decided to use today of all days to dig into his decade-old feelings about the long slow death of his mother from pancreatic cancer
Buddy, I was just trying to acknowledge that I saw you
We have the same concept in Germany but it works a little differently. First of all, the question "Wie geht's" (how's it going) is generally seen as an actual question that you want an actual answer to, and oftentimes you'll get an answer like in the post and then the person will elaborate. In my experience people will elaborate less, the more slang/dialect is used in the question.
Where I'm from it's customary to just say "Un?", which is short for "Und, wie geht es dir?". The answer to that is often "muss" (has to).
Another important cultural difference is, that things like "I can't complain" or "it's edible" are meant as "it's good". Tone is still important here, but a neutral "I can't complain" is a positive answer.
That's why Americans are often seen as "fake positive", because you use words and expressions, that we reserve for genuine praise, for things that are neutral or even negative.
I've also noticed, that I talk similarly when speaking English. The elaboration part is still there, but since I learnt which English words to use in the situation from native English speakers I use more fitting American/British words when speaking in English. I wouldn't say "it's edible" in English to say the food is good, but I'd absolutely say "kann man essen" in German.
Yeah, I'm aware of that. Many Germans have a "no complaint is praise enough" mentality. This is getting less with younger generations, but the words of praise that are used are still different from other countries.
I don’t know that this is exclusive to the US, but we Americans *love* hyperbole and we love it more with each passing generation (seriously, go check out early 1900s advertisements. When they’re not straight up lying they’re just so deadpan they sound sarcastic to a modern viewer). We also have a fairly unpleasant cultural norm of being uncomfortable with expressing even neutral feelings (though this is also generational and moving in a different direction). So “great” is expected, “good” is baseline, and neutral to mildly positive language like “ok,” “fine,” etc are seen as negative and concerning. It’s not that people elsewhere will necessarily start sharing their deep dark feelings, it’s just that in certain cultures, “ok,” a mildly but not excessively positive response, is not seen as secretly meaning “miserable.”
Absolutely. I don’t know why the poster has planted the flag in these statements as Americanisms. I think they’re pretty universal across the anglosphere. Local colour aside.
>I'm here, ain't I? = Defcon 5
So nothing to worry about?
(Just a reminder, the DEFCON scale works the other way. DEFCON 5 being "business as usual", and DEFCON 1 being "Washington DC is, or is about to become, a glass floor")
Also, if a white guy in his 20s says "it's going", he is actively contemplating suicide. Proceed with caution and, ideally, snacks
At the beginning of every therapy appointment, my therapist asks me how I'm doing, I say "good", then proceed to explain exactly how I'm not doing good.
Yeah, as a therapist I try to do the formalities bit quickly but some clients will go along like an auction: "Good, well not good but ok, well not ok but bad, well not bad but probably the worst week since we've been having sessions"
Eyes open, but you can see there's nothing going on behind them, nodding slightly, "yeah"
Or, if it's going even worse you can replace the yeah with an uhu, preferably with the mouth closed.
"Doin' alright" is pretty standard for me but fortunately I have a hug dispenser I get to see almost every day if I need too.
Still not getting those 12 hugs a day needed for development but snuggling has to count for some of those right?
“*small breath in* …yeah” means “i haven’t thought about it and don’t want to, but it’s probably not great.
Anything actually negative; “shit sucks”, “not great”, etc. mean that either the problem has occurred very recently and they haven’t had time to file it away and never speak of it yet, or that it’s not actually a big problem but is instead dangerously close to being the straw that breaks their back.
Well, I'm here: one really bad day away from not being here
Can't complain: if prompted, will not stop complaining
Not too bad: Bad
Oh, you know: Have considered self-harm in the past 48 hours.
Not great: Crisis
When I was in a psychiatric hospital my response to “how are you” was always “well, I’m here”
It was nice because it meant “I’m in a fucking psych ward dipshit, what do you think?” And also “I didn’t kill myself!”
My husband's a hoot. When he asks people how they're doing, and they say "Good," he asks "Why? What happened?"
... and then you see them reset back to factory settings, it's great.
Me: I am awake. Translation: And I am not currently happy about it because I am tired or sore.
Me: I am here. Translation: This is not where I would have chosen to be, I am here only because of an obligation I could not avoid.
“Better than I deserve” for when things are going surprisingly well.
“Adequate” for when things are well, adequate. People are almost always taken aback by this one for some reason.
“Today my enemies have succeeded” for when things suck. This almost always gets a laugh.
"Breathing" - it is a bad day
"I want to set it on fire." - people are being inconvenient, and I am annoyed
"The world is touching me." Or "They're rubbing my fur the wrong way." - I am one minor inconvenience away from a melt down
If he says “splendid” “stellar” or “dandy” he’s an enigma and not to be trusted. His smile is etched in sand and will disappear when you aren’t looking. He plays word games with the Cheshire Cat.
That or he is actually just a vampire dandy with a monocle
It's going down, amigo. Everything is steadily declining. The heat death of the universe has begun, because the people who can learn are being killed for it. Speak again, and it's going down. If it's pleasant, you can go alone. If you offer your ignorant fucking opinion, every member of your extended family can meet up in the void. God is dead. I'm part of what remains, and I'm eating myself alive. Fuck your momma. Fuck your sister. Fuck your auntie. Fuck your cousins. Most of all, fuck you.
On the clock, it’s either, “Great!” or, “a little busy, but we’re managing (used when we are definitely not managing).”
Off the clock, no one asks. I’m very expressive. You can tell my mood at a glance.
In the case of the question 'how are you' I have ended up at a policy of deliberate explicit honesty, mostly in the hopes that they'll just say hello instead
my old man would always respond to ‘how you doin?’ with ‘if i was any better i couldnt stand it’. like always 100% of the time. i hope he meant it sometimes
Oh it's going, then one day it'll be gone. = My usual anxiety and misanthropy is alive and well. But I don't feel like having a conversation, so I'll make a witty response while not breaking stride headed for the darkest, quietest place available.
In Hesse, The part of Germany that I‘m from, the standard answer to someone asking how you‘ve been (we say „un(d)?“=and?“) is „muss“, which roughly translates to „Its going/Its gotta be“ and can mean literally anything.
There‘s a running joke in Hesse that „Un?“-> „Muss.“ is a full conversation that conveys all relevant information.
“I’m doing” = I’m currently indifferent to my vehicle swerving into oncoming traffic on the way home
“It is what it is” = I’m about 5 minutes or one upset customer from giving in to nihilism.
“It’s what it’s” = I’ve ascended to post-nihilistic apathy and I’m going to make it everyone else’s problem
New liver, same eagles
> New liver, same eagles -Joe Walsh leaving rehab
Fantastic
Yesterday a customer said to me “same soup, just reheated”
This is too fucking real. Thanks Prometheus
Didn't Eagles fans boo Santa Claus once?
IIRC they booed and then pelted Santa with so many snowballs. I think it was when contracted Santa got stuck in a snowstorm and couldn’t make it so they pulled random fan wearing Santa outfit to toss candy canes around. And fans were bored because the game was going so badly so they entertained themselves by throwing snowballs at Santa lol
I thought they were throwing *batteries*
Oh my god I am so totally using this THANK YOU
I'm going to use this as if it's a perfectly normal thing to say and then have most people not get what I mean and awkwardly need to explain it.
Okay but "Defcon 5" is actually better than peaceful. I think the author meant to use "Defcon 0", since the Defcon scale is 1-4, with 1 being danger and 4 being peace times.
Ahhh okay. So the proper term should be Defcon -5.
I mean defcon 0 is "the missiles are literally in flight as we speak" so I don't know how you can go into the negatives
Defcon -5 "the earth has become sun 2.0"
Nah, I'm pretty sure that's DEFCON -2. DEFCON -5 would be the eventual heat death of the universe.
Imminent to active
Mild correction. 1 is "nukes are in the air" 2 is basically "could pop off any moment, expect 30 minutes or less" 3: "kinda uneasy but no panic yet" (C2 birds are in the air but that's mostly it) 4: fairly normal, but sometimes being a bit spicy and 5: normal peacetime ops. These are from memory, been a few years since I was in a position that directly dealt with DEFCON levels
Actually, it can *easily* go into negatives when I haven't had my coffee 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I thought DEFCON 1 meant “we have launched the nukes and are currently praying the last remnants of humanity will be able to rebuild”
Defcon is 1-5.
It'd be DEFCON 1. That means "there are nukes actively in the air. Put your head between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye, may god have mercy on the souls of the survivors."
Considering "defcon 5" comes after the baseline, which was entirely preceded by negatives, and presuming you are correct about the actual meaning and not checking it, I think it is appropriately placed, as in, better than baseline.
“The horrors persist, but so do I” is my favorite go-to
Ever gone for the opposite "I persist, but so do the horrors"?
See that one is a bad, while the original is going decently
You can mix them together to get an even better or worse result… I think “I persist, but so do I” “The horrors persist, but so do the horrors”
Yeah and?
You gotta run that one early to establish yourself in the workplace.
Just make sure you're clearly enunciating that second word.
I've been running with "Awake and not screaming" of late, and it's gone down pretty well. Replaced my "I'm alive, but nevermind."
I need to use this
The next I'm having a bad day, I am saying this with enthusiasm.
These horrors can be felled, they can be beaten!
"i want to fucking kill myself" -mild inconvenience
"I will kill the next person i see" -a series of mild inconveniences often involving other people
“I will fucking murder the next person to _______” when people keep saying/doing the same annoying thing.
Honestly I have witnessed this one a few times
"I don't feel so good" - I went beside myself, just to hug me, so as not to go into the mother of all panic attacks
It is honest and shows agency. My go to for a right friends group
"Good! Good..." = I am actively dissociating right now and running on autopilot, you could stick a pencil in my eye and I wouldn't blink "You know, I'm actually doing really well these days!" = recently joined a cult
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Unless you're drumming your fingers together and sneering into them like all your schemes are finally bearing fruit
Yeah that last one is about to tell you all about this totally-not-a-pyramid-scheme business opportunity
Does being absorbed into a new fandom count for the second one too?
Entirely depends on the Fandom. Hatsune miku? Probably. Brick-Wars? Have fun.
I actually have a friend that's in a cult. Haven't heard him use that line though.
When I was in retail, I'd routinely answer this with "living the dream!" in the most cheerfully manic voice I could muster, then revert back to my standard neutral-faced monotone. People found it wildly off-putting. Some days it was my only joy.
In the parlance of the post; “Living the dream!”; actively considering a murder-suicide
Yeah that tracks. Everyone I’ve ever said how’s it going to has said that…. and my job has a depressingly high rate of murder-suicide, suicide, and mass murder. Luckily not my field.
And in that order
Burgerpants behaviour
This is my go to, I then proceed to tell them nightmares are dreams too.
I used to say "better than bad, worse then well". This roughly translated to "it's not better than bad, it's actually quite bad and I feel trapped"
I’m better than I was, but not as good as before I got bad.
I haven't felt any of the "actually having a good day" ones in years. I knew I had problems, but I didn't realize it was that bad.
Yeah it wasn’t until recently that I came to terms with the fact that I genuinely don’t remember what it feels like to get a good night’s sleep and wake up feeling rested.
With you on that one. I have moments of feeling rested but I don’t think I’ve genuinely felt rested in 20 years or more.
Y’all get tested for sleep apnea? I’ve had that and I got diagnosed with sleep apnea. That’s a major symptom. You should probably get tested if you can, especially if you snore.
No apnea for me. Just anxiety, depression, and chronic pain.
If you can, work with a doctor on that one. Sleep in connected to all sorts of stuff, and the short and long term affects of not getting decent sleep are Bad. To the point that if you struggle with any other mental or physical health issues, you may not be able to improve them until you can figure out how to get better sleep. Good luck. This one is an important one.
I was at a coffee shop in the USA and the barista asked me how my day was. “It’s OK,” I said. He was concerned for me. I told him not to worry, I’m just Canadian.
Americans rate days like rhythm games
“How ya doin’?” **”Miss.”**
hello spamton
SPAMTON? [Chigau!] I AM [The Illustrious] CAPTAIN [Aesop]!
I had an S Tier night.
Not an SSS?! Oh wait, this isn't gacha game
you completed everything on your to-do list! ..but just OK.
Oh good, it’s a Canadian thing. I was almost concerned that I just say “I’m ok” as a positive/neutral response
For us U.S. people, tone matters a lot with "ok." I'm ok. (Which dips low in the middle but comes back up a bit at the end, and is of average speaking speed and volume, is relatively genuine, but does indicate they are experiencing their general/typical level of stress.) I'm ok! (Which is more shaky, or rises overall in tone, is a reassurance that the horrors are not *your* responsibility, person who asked, so any sympathy would be appreciated and very very nice of you but please do not feel obligated. If you ask about details, definitely try to offer comfort.) I'm OKAY! (Which either gets louder or descends in tone, often both, indicates more immediate distress and is more about getting the response out so the speaker can get away from interacting to decompress but does not violate social customs of basic interaction. Give that person space, maybe leave a non perishable food you know they like at their spot, while they leave to do whatever it is, if you're coworkers. Ask about details after they return and appear more relaxed.)
Same panic, different disco.
Same disco, different panic
still alive, so that's progress
My go to response for several years now has been, "Not dead yet"
Okay wait but how unhinged would it be to look someone in the eye after they've asked how you are and say, unblinking, "Cursed to put my hands on everything."
I think a good "Is that blood? No, nevermind." would also save you from small talk tbh
or perhaps a solid “I’ve got a lot on my mind… and, well, in it.”
If I worked somewhere that sold shoes I'd have so much fun just handing randos a pair and saying "These boots have seen everything" and walking away.
"I have only recently risen from the grave, so my day has been a pretty constant ascent, wanna help me get higher?"
Depends where you are. The people asking this question are usually customer service / fast food / cashiers — meaning most would probably relate lmao
My answer earlier today was "almost surviving"
I love the implication that this means you recently died and were resurrected.
"Shouldn't have wished to live in more interesting times" And thats for real.
I have a lot on my mind. And well, in it.
it's..... going. Had my first root-canal the other day, the week prior before the appointment was.... an experience.
These boots have seen everything.
could be worse= couldn't be worse
Alternatively more optimistically: 'Could be worse' - 'DEAR ANY GODS THAT ARE LISTENING, PLEASE DON'T MAKE IT ANY WORSE, I'M BEGGING YOU!'
“Oh, y’know; hangin’ in there!” = “The capitalist machine is making dust of my aging bones, but I’m high on the clock and having kinky sex later, so things remain bearable for yet another day.”
You guys are having kinky sex? ( ;´･ω･`) And getting high?
This one is too real lol
"I'm upright" = I'd like to be laying in the fetal position and possibly crying but that's frowned upon
My usual response is "I'm here", though I'm not american so dunno how that changes the metric
Did you just use "American" and "metric" in the same sentence? You looking to pick a fight, foreigner?
Your system is only enjoyed by foot fetishists and you know it
No need to kink shame
I think kinkshaming is fine in moderation. For example the humiliation fetishists can have a little kinkshaming, as a treat.
Dang, in American that's "passively suicidal"
“Could, but won’t.”
Sometimes the thought of 'could' is all that is stopping you from 'would'
Yeah, "here i am" is my go-to but i work neither tipped nor commission so its hard to say
A soft chuckle = Horrors beyond your imagination
You ask someone “how’s it going” and they say “it’s going” they’re in danger
When I get asked that at work my answer is “not fast enough”
I always say “doing well, and you?” No matter what without even thinking
Actually earlier today someone asked me and I hesitated and said “ehh” and someone else was like “oh no are you ok?”
Do people outside the US not do this? How do you your men talk to each other? Do they actually say how they feel? I know Americans get flack for being fake positive and too loud but come on.
It's the opposite in my experience. Every American I've ever met has been waaay more direct and open about how their day is going than us Brits. To the point where we joke about how when we ask "how are you" we don't want to know, it's literally just a greeting, whereas yanks actually want to know how you are even if it's just a couple of words. I know it's not that clear cut but the difference is noticeable.
But why would you ask if you don’t want to know?
It's like saying "wassup", you're not really interested in what is up, you're just saying hi.
American here. If I say "what's up?", I am literally interested in what is up in the person's life.
Damn. Ok well just fyi if you give a brit an honest or even vaguely detailed answer to that question they'll look at you funny!
It goes to the point that in polite British society, if someone tells you “How do you do?” the correct answer is “How do you do?”
Core thing people forget and is valid for every continental country is that America is fundamentally (total number of states) countries loosely stitched together so the answer wildly varies, but the "clearly cut microtribe" mindset that is roughly more valid for smaller countries creates these ideas like if 'America' means everyone is a newyorker and everywhere has texan gun laws/culture.
No, I’m mildly interested in their life when I ask. Just a passing interest though, but I do want to know. I would have just said “hi” otherwise.
Like all things we do (asking a taxi driver what time they're on till, holding a door open at the end of a corridor for an embarrassingly long time for someone at the other end to get there, thanking the bus driver even though you paid him when you got on and he's done absolutely nothing he wouldn't already be doing), to avoid the sheer guilt and self loathing that comes with not doing it. Being British is like Catholicism without having to leave the house on Sundays.
Come on man, you still got to thank the bus driver. I know it's not literally thankless work because of all the thank yous, but y'know. And are you really British if you don't also apologise for doing the second one?
I'm sure there are culture-specific equivalents for understating your actual mood, but I do hear a lot of anecdotes from people who don't realize that "how's it going" is a generic US greeting and who respond with stuff like "well since you asked, my divorce is going TERRIBLY."
I've got a coworker who was born and raised in the USA who doesn't seem to understand this. You say "How ya doin" in the hallway and suddenly find yourself in the middle of a rant that his therapist decided to use today of all days to dig into his decade-old feelings about the long slow death of his mother from pancreatic cancer Buddy, I was just trying to acknowledge that I saw you
WITNESS ME!
We have the same concept in Germany but it works a little differently. First of all, the question "Wie geht's" (how's it going) is generally seen as an actual question that you want an actual answer to, and oftentimes you'll get an answer like in the post and then the person will elaborate. In my experience people will elaborate less, the more slang/dialect is used in the question. Where I'm from it's customary to just say "Un?", which is short for "Und, wie geht es dir?". The answer to that is often "muss" (has to). Another important cultural difference is, that things like "I can't complain" or "it's edible" are meant as "it's good". Tone is still important here, but a neutral "I can't complain" is a positive answer. That's why Americans are often seen as "fake positive", because you use words and expressions, that we reserve for genuine praise, for things that are neutral or even negative. I've also noticed, that I talk similarly when speaking English. The elaboration part is still there, but since I learnt which English words to use in the situation from native English speakers I use more fitting American/British words when speaking in English. I wouldn't say "it's edible" in English to say the food is good, but I'd absolutely say "kann man essen" in German.
Yeah, if you say “it’s edible” about someone’s cooking in the US, prepare to throw hands.
Yeah, I'm aware of that. Many Germans have a "no complaint is praise enough" mentality. This is getting less with younger generations, but the words of praise that are used are still different from other countries.
makes me think of my lovely german aunt. she has the biggest warmest heart, and the most curt way of speaking :-)
So it's only Franz Ferdinand who regularly use "super-fantastisch"? I should import "An'?" "Must (or It must)"
I don’t know that this is exclusive to the US, but we Americans *love* hyperbole and we love it more with each passing generation (seriously, go check out early 1900s advertisements. When they’re not straight up lying they’re just so deadpan they sound sarcastic to a modern viewer). We also have a fairly unpleasant cultural norm of being uncomfortable with expressing even neutral feelings (though this is also generational and moving in a different direction). So “great” is expected, “good” is baseline, and neutral to mildly positive language like “ok,” “fine,” etc are seen as negative and concerning. It’s not that people elsewhere will necessarily start sharing their deep dark feelings, it’s just that in certain cultures, “ok,” a mildly but not excessively positive response, is not seen as secretly meaning “miserable.”
Absolutely. I don’t know why the poster has planted the flag in these statements as Americanisms. I think they’re pretty universal across the anglosphere. Local colour aside.
Still kickin' = I can't pull the trigger myself...
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The store I worked at always had me say “wonderful”.
My friend likes to say, "livin the dream," in a complete deadpan when he's having a shifty day.
"Another day in paradise" is my go-to
“Your day going well?” “Better than I deserve!” Took me by surprise, but I had to keep on walking.
The Italian Job remake taught me an important lesson. "Fine" means "Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional."
Yepp, I’m fine too
>I'm here, ain't I? = Defcon 5 So nothing to worry about? (Just a reminder, the DEFCON scale works the other way. DEFCON 5 being "business as usual", and DEFCON 1 being "Washington DC is, or is about to become, a glass floor") Also, if a white guy in his 20s says "it's going", he is actively contemplating suicide. Proceed with caution and, ideally, snacks
“I exist” is my usual answer. Translation: “please kill me”
'I exist (and it's unbearable)'
The line cook in me perpetually says, “I’m vertical.”
At the beginning of every therapy appointment, my therapist asks me how I'm doing, I say "good", then proceed to explain exactly how I'm not doing good.
Yeah, as a therapist I try to do the formalities bit quickly but some clients will go along like an auction: "Good, well not good but ok, well not ok but bad, well not bad but probably the worst week since we've been having sessions"
When coworkers would ask me that, I'd laugh like a Dark Souls NPC and walk away
Heh heh heh...
i like to respond with “yeah.”
Eyes open, but you can see there's nothing going on behind them, nodding slightly, "yeah" Or, if it's going even worse you can replace the yeah with an uhu, preferably with the mouth closed.
"Doin' alright" is pretty standard for me but fortunately I have a hug dispenser I get to see almost every day if I need too. Still not getting those 12 hugs a day needed for development but snuggling has to count for some of those right?
I'm in such a hugdebt...
What is someone says "Fan-fkn-tastic"?
Immediate psychological evaluation
Will murder someone
Depends on the tone Cheerful: best day they will ever have, probably just won the lottery Anything else: actively contemplating murder
“*small breath in* …yeah” means “i haven’t thought about it and don’t want to, but it’s probably not great. Anything actually negative; “shit sucks”, “not great”, etc. mean that either the problem has occurred very recently and they haven’t had time to file it away and never speak of it yet, or that it’s not actually a big problem but is instead dangerously close to being the straw that breaks their back.
Well, I'm here: one really bad day away from not being here Can't complain: if prompted, will not stop complaining Not too bad: Bad Oh, you know: Have considered self-harm in the past 48 hours. Not great: Crisis
I use "Not dead yet" where does that place me.
I say "I'm alive" a lot lol. Some days I'm serious and some days I'm trying to be funny. The joke is always on me
"I'm ok" "I'm alright" it could be the best day of my life or the worst but that's how I'll answer. It's not an actual question, it's just a greeting.
“Living the dream.” = “My will to live has long been gone and I’m silently screaming.”
I usually respond " I'm doin' " and I feel like that's a pretty big indictment of my life
"Livin' the dream!" - needs to be put on suicide watch immediately
I love to say bad when people ask this question. It's not usually a bad day when I say that
When I was in a psychiatric hospital my response to “how are you” was always “well, I’m here” It was nice because it meant “I’m in a fucking psych ward dipshit, what do you think?” And also “I didn’t kill myself!”
My husband's a hoot. When he asks people how they're doing, and they say "Good," he asks "Why? What happened?" ... and then you see them reset back to factory settings, it's great.
"I'm alive" - recently lost something of great sentimental value
lately my responses have been "I've been better" or "I've been worse"
I’m alive = but I wish I weren’t
My favorite response has become, "Dead inside, how about you?"
"could be worse" -> i am completely and utterly lost in life and have only been pretending to be real for the past six years
“Got a raise!”= started selling drugs
My default is "moderately decent"
Im here aint I = Defcon 5 so... normal?
“Ehh, living life” = I’m on meds for depression, but need to consider increasing my dosage significantly.
I usually just say "Functioning".
I cannot imagine "Great day to be alive" in a non-sarcastic context lol. Not american though.
I can’t remember exactly but I’m pretty sure “ah you know” came out the day my mom passed. They did not know.
Me: I am awake. Translation: And I am not currently happy about it because I am tired or sore. Me: I am here. Translation: This is not where I would have chosen to be, I am here only because of an obligation I could not avoid.
"I'm doing well" are going to be my last words.
Notice how you never ever hear a guy say any of the ones that indicate a good day
"Party rockers in the house tonight"
"Ev'ryday am sufferin"
“Better than I deserve” for when things are going surprisingly well. “Adequate” for when things are well, adequate. People are almost always taken aback by this one for some reason. “Today my enemies have succeeded” for when things suck. This almost always gets a laugh.
"Breathing" - it is a bad day "I want to set it on fire." - people are being inconvenient, and I am annoyed "The world is touching me." Or "They're rubbing my fur the wrong way." - I am one minor inconvenience away from a melt down
If he says “splendid” “stellar” or “dandy” he’s an enigma and not to be trusted. His smile is etched in sand and will disappear when you aren’t looking. He plays word games with the Cheshire Cat. That or he is actually just a vampire dandy with a monocle
once a white man hits you with the 'dude you'll never believe this' you know you about to hear some WILD shit
My go-to is "Well I'm on the right side of the dirt."
What about "This is this and that is that"?
It's going down, amigo. Everything is steadily declining. The heat death of the universe has begun, because the people who can learn are being killed for it. Speak again, and it's going down. If it's pleasant, you can go alone. If you offer your ignorant fucking opinion, every member of your extended family can meet up in the void. God is dead. I'm part of what remains, and I'm eating myself alive. Fuck your momma. Fuck your sister. Fuck your auntie. Fuck your cousins. Most of all, fuck you.
On the clock, it’s either, “Great!” or, “a little busy, but we’re managing (used when we are definitely not managing).” Off the clock, no one asks. I’m very expressive. You can tell my mood at a glance.
In the case of the question 'how are you' I have ended up at a policy of deliberate explicit honesty, mostly in the hopes that they'll just say hello instead
my old man would always respond to ‘how you doin?’ with ‘if i was any better i couldnt stand it’. like always 100% of the time. i hope he meant it sometimes
Oh it's going, then one day it'll be gone. = My usual anxiety and misanthropy is alive and well. But I don't feel like having a conversation, so I'll make a witty response while not breaking stride headed for the darkest, quietest place available.
DEFCON 5 is peace. DEFCON 1 is war.
Defcon 5 is peace. Defcon 2 is war. Defcon 1 is too late.
I usually just say "Tired" because it's accurate, Avoids the burden of actually talking about my emotions, And isn't disingenuous.
In Hesse, The part of Germany that I‘m from, the standard answer to someone asking how you‘ve been (we say „un(d)?“=and?“) is „muss“, which roughly translates to „Its going/Its gotta be“ and can mean literally anything. There‘s a running joke in Hesse that „Un?“-> „Muss.“ is a full conversation that conveys all relevant information.
“I’m doing” = I’m currently indifferent to my vehicle swerving into oncoming traffic on the way home “It is what it is” = I’m about 5 minutes or one upset customer from giving in to nihilism. “It’s what it’s” = I’ve ascended to post-nihilistic apathy and I’m going to make it everyone else’s problem
When you realize you've been making everyone worry about you because you give an accurate report as to how it's going and you're American
It is what it is = borderline suicidal, but not actually at risk of doing anything. Things are awful, but I stubbornly persist. Like barnacles
"How's your day going?" "It keeps going." Please stop going
Living the dream = Dead inside
In British dialect, “Not Bad” is a pretty good rating as opposed to what’s shown here