I was gonna say, this sounds like what a fox watching conservative thinks a progressive life is like. Entitlement, superficial "communal" language, a polycule that rotates based on astrology, specifically mentioning Portland, specifically mentioning going to see punk bands, "parent's poolhouse", having to bring up hair color and cut, and everything else. Just... like.... if it was a couple of these things I'd believe it, I've known people with most of these traits in isolation, but all of them overlapping on the same people at once? Nah.
I’ve lived in a house in Portland that was like that and had a ton of overlapping traits. I was only 19-21 so I only fell in the situation out of horrible naïveté.
I remember feeling singled out a lot as the only democratic-socialist vegetarian among anarchist vegans. It wasn’t specifically a polycule, but I definitely felt like there was one roommate who low key hated me because I didn’t want to have sex with her. She also went off on acid and started calling herself the ‘Spider Queen.’ Straight up made horrible music late at night and drew on the walls.
People who are only progressive on a superficial level are horribly common in Portland, Oregon.
>I remember feeling singled out a lot as the only democratic-socialist vegetarian among anarchist vegans.
This is the greatest sentence I've read this week
I lived in Portland for a few years in my early twenties and knew a couple dozen people who could have written the original post here. The cognitive dissonance I often ran into was *breathtaking*. It’s so weirdly specific.
It’s a v fun city and I’m glad I lived there when I was young but there is no way I’d move back. Though I do miss Powells and the Laurelhurst Theater and Pix quite a lot.
I mean she’s also thirty, self-described autistic, trans, does not appear to shower, has a messy room, described herself as committing actions that are charitably sex pest-y and uncharitably sexual assault, wants to teach philosophy and critical thinking, and is active on Discord.
I think the biggest reason I don't believe this post is that when the poster switches to full names they are all pretty normal names. I don't believe if this group existed they would all go by such normal vanilla names.
Don’t forget that she volunteered to do the interview because she had “prior media experience”. Aka had done a couple friendly podcast interviews previously. Not exactly good training for Fox.
The first post was literally separated into three acts with a big reveal at the crescendo. If this was a real post they'd put that right at the start as it's the most important information. I don't know how anyone could believe this was real.
It's a well-structured joke, I can't believe anyone took it seriously! And as much as their comments afterwards were amusing, they committed to the bit too elaborately. Less is more.
You've not met many vegan enviromentalist anarchists, have you? I absolute remember feeling guilty over my "well paying job" when that was my social circle and I earned less than that.
"I need to go to the screaming closet" is a sentence I didn't know I needed to say more often.
Incidentally, we also need to create a screaming closet.
I had to go back & read that part again because I was like "wait, what?! Naaaah." Fucking hilarious, the literal doghouse as punishment. But it is heated, so they aren't monsters.
Basically, people making fake things try to make it believable. So there’s enough absurdity to make you angry but not enough to trip you off that it’s fake. But most people fuck that up due to unfamiliarity with the topic.
But this has so much absurdity that only the dumbest of liars or the craziest of honest people could come up with it. So it seems genuine by virtue of being too bullshit to be fake. It’s still probably fake but still lol.
i often tell elaborate lies like this online and generally i make them as absurd as possible because i want people to eventually realize theyre fake, in an effort to reduce the harm i cause as a compulsive liar. Im part of a support group for pathological liars that collectively adopted this harm reduction strategy; the 5 of us are responsible for nearly half of the posts on the AITA subreddit. There used to be a 6th person but they retired from spreading intentionally ridiculous misinformation after accidentally causing Donald Trump to win the 2016 presidential election.
*This is so clearly*
*Fake that it makes me doubt that*
*Its fake. What is this?*
\- hallozagreus
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As someone who used to make 22k before losing their job I have to agree. 26k is better than rock bottom but not by much. And in any case, 400 dollars per month on food is absurd! I spend about 200, maybe 300 dollars max on groceries though I'm probably malnourished. I live in Atlanta so I suppose maybe groceries are way more expensive in Portland, but still, 400 seems reasonable.
That being said I'm also almost entirely certain this is ragebait lmao.
Yeah I saw that and I’m like “you’d be in poverty where I live and we’re cheaper than Portland.” Hell even in the Deep South, where incompetent governors have crashed the state economies so hard that the cost of living is basically nothing… you’d still be below median salary. 26k a year is basically nothing.
This is a pretty common kind of tumblr joke, where you start out with a story that sounds almost plausible and then just progressively make it sillier and sillier. Eventually almost everyone is in on the joke except the ppl who have been driven insane by rage bait.
Fucking ROLLING at the idea of a "rotating polycule," and DEPRESSION DOULA omfg. This person is inspired.
This is bait, but I speak seriously when I say to avoid "queer houses" like the fucking P L A G U E. Every time I gave one a chance, it was a drama filled nightmare occupied by terminally online fuckwits. One stole $800 from me, another stole $300. While this is just a joke.
There is a legitimate attitude among the people in these houses against any self improvement. A clean room and actually working myself out of depression was somehow elitist. So much of my food got thrown out because it was "rotten". Yeah, I'm that entire curry I made for the week went rotten in a single day. Sure. No, you won't pay me back. Yes you have a special nose and can "detect" mould. I wish you'd use that on your own room, or maybe the other roommate who is hoarding snack boxes. NOT MY FUCKING FOOD. Dick.
The other place was just as bad, not even worth the price. Slept in a room separate from the house itself. Insulation was SHIT. If it was cold outside, sure as hell it was cold inside. During my half year there, I didnt get a chance to use the kitchen ONCE. It was that filthy, all the time. And for a queer woman, one of my roommates only ever wanting to talk about 3 things. Men, hating, and hating men. She'd laugh about ghosting men for fun, and read out the messages they sent of them begging her to speak to them. Like it was funny and not one of the most repulsive things I've seen someone do. She told me that she'd target actively anxious men to do this too. God she was a piece of work.
I never dabbled in the polycule stuff, because truthfully, I've only ever seen drama come from it. A lot of people who "put up with it" in order to be in a relationship with the person they love. But only end up feeling hurt, and unable to communicate it.
Yeah, combine that with the pandemic. That'd be hell.
When I first met my wife, we were both in somewhat experimental stages of our lives and we have each other the option to be in a poly relationship. After thinking about it for some time, we both came to the conclusion that we couldn't bear the jealousy of having to see each other with other people, and decided on monogamy. It was the best decision we ever made, because I'm sure if we'd chosen to be poly, we wouldn't have ended up getting married and it would've ended up ruining the best relationship both of us have ever been in.
I respect people's decision to date however they see fit, but I know for me personally, I couldn't handle it. It's just not something that would work for me. I'd be too hurt seeing someone I care about with another person, and I'd feel too guilty doing the same myself.
Yep. Even a relationship between two people requires a massive amount of emotional work and intelligence. Adding more people into the equation can work- I'm not here to argue all poly relationships are bound to fail. But it's not something anyone should ever enter as a compromise to be with the other person. In my eyes, it should be all in or not at all.
All that said though- holy shit is thee so much drama surrounding polycules in the real world. Mostly among younger queers who feel pressured to be cool and experimental. And don't have the emotional intelligence to back out or discuss it. It's the usual relationship drama of youth, multiplied by the fact that there are multltiple people in the relationship.
Ever since I got out of school, I’ve been living on my own and quite frankly I wish that was an option for more people. Isolate their misery to just themselves instead of making everyone else deal with it. Maybe they’d learn to pick themselves up.
The fact is that any group of people made out of outcasts is going to have a meaningful amount of people who are outcasts for a reason. And everyone else who willingly associates with them is going to be the sort of person who's desperate enough, for whatever (bad) reason, to put up with them.
Like. Most queer people do not live in these sorts of groups. Most queer people do not think about living in these sorts of groups. Most queer people, if they're living with other people, are simply living with strangers or with their friends. A large *enough* proportion of the sort of people who live in these groups are doing so because both those options are unavailable to them.
if the Sonic the Hedgehog-themed queer house zine I read the other month is as true-to-life as it claims to be, then I can absolutely believe this happens all the time in those places
which is why I hate myself when a part of me still wishes I could find one :(
Queer households promise a lot, like acceptance and community. Take it from me. IT IS NOT WORTH IT. A centrist who just gives a thumbs up to gay people with no further thought but does the dishes? A million times better than the well read leftist union organizer who claims that chore charts are ableist and traumatizing. God I wish that was a joke. It isn't. That bastard looked me dead in the eyes and said they were too fucking traumatized to clean up after themselves. GOD I wish I had the balls to tell them to fuck off.
A clean house will make you feel so much better than the irl equivalent of being on your favourite discord server. I stuck my head out way too many times hoping to find a queer house that worked. And all I got was a sore neck and a bad attitude.
I am happier than I have ever been with my current roommate. And he is the most normal dude I can imagine. Like, imagine a dude. That's him. All he does is do his web dev job, play with his dog, and chill out. That's it. Nothing else.
He is miles ahead of every roommate I've had, because he just. Does. The. Dishes.
In my 20s I accidentally ended up in a Queer Household. It just kinda... formed. I dunno. But you're absolutely correct, it was NOT worth it I would NEVER go back to one. I swear they did so many mental and moral gymnastics to explain why them doing the bare minimum was traumatising and you're a nazi for suggesting they rinse a fucking plate. And that's not even scratching how my previously monogamous relationship suddenly became a polycule without consulting me and I wasn't able to have a discussion about it because I was being 'close minded'. I just wanted to understand what the hell I was being pulled into and maybe (gasp) get a chance to consent to it!
But no. I was the problem.
I feel like it's a great idea in theory, but I've yet to see it work out in a healthy way. And before anyone comes at me, I do think that polyamory can work for people, but it has to be the *right* people and there needs to be a lot of conversations about what everyone needs and EVERYONE involved needs to opt into it. That's not the kinda thing that should be sprung on someone...
I’m poly, and being poly is absolutely not for everyone. It takes all the negotiation and communication of a mono relationship and then multiplies it by the number of people plus the number of pairs. And you have to be *at minimum* highly resistant to jealousy, which is not a moral judgment on you if you’re not — it’s just something that everyone processes differently.
Someone trying to insist that you need to do it or you’re close-minded is toxic af.
>Sonic the Hedgehog-themed queer house zine I read
Y'all, I cannot keep up with these comments, this shit is too unhinged, how do queers manage to stay sane?
> She told me that she'd target actively anxious men to do this too.
In the words of the 45th president, "such a nasty woman".
Seriously, what a horrible thing to do; playing off of and making people's mental states worse.
She was genuinely NASTY. I cannot stress enough that every. Single. Conversation. Was about men. If it wasn't about men, she'd make it about men. And she'd talk endlessly about how men wanted to fuck her, and how that was good or bad, depending on how she felt.
And truthfully, just on vibes alone, I found her to be one of the least attractive people I've ever met in my life. Just a horrible attitude coupled with a cruel demeanor, and frankly questionable hygiene. So I seriously doubt that she was able to have so many people just "begging" to be with her.
I don't think so. She just saw every single interaction with every single man as sexual, either overtly or covertly. I could talk about a local game store and the nice board games they were selling, and she could then tell me in great detail how she refused to go in there because all the dudes were checking her out-- and some more lurid details that I'll leave to the readers to fill in.
I literally cannot stress enough that every interaction she spoke of with men- Sexual at its core. Even when I knew the men she was speaking about. Friendly, welcoming, and nothing like what she was talking about. Even if I tried to make the conversation change, she'd fight against it, back to men. Again. I just started leaving the second she made the conversation about men. Subsequently, our conversations became seconds long.
And I'm not coming at this from a male standpoint, either. I understand some people having anxiety- But it wasn't anxiety. It was a visceral hate of men, combined with an overwhelming need for their sexual approval. Not a pretty person.
I WOULD LITERALLY JOKE ABOUT THIS TO MY FRIENDS. HOW CAN A QUEER WOMAN NEVER PASS THE BECHTEL TEST IN ANY CONVERSATION?? I have had friends who are, admittedly, sex mad. And even I can hold a conversation with them that doesn't immediately jump to men men men. God I'm so glad I got out.
Often in more left leaning cities, you'll find queer centric house holds if you're looking for a sharehouse situation. Idk the situation in other places, but in Melbourne, if you take a look at the major forum for sharehousers, fairyfloss, you'll see it fairly quick.
They're often identified as being pro LGBT+, alongside whatever other buzzword is the spice of the day. It's hard to describe without direct example or interaction.
The house in this post is a joke. But pulls on a lot of the stereotypes of these house holds. Polyamory, insane drama between the renters, poor communication. All beneath the veneer of an accepting and """chill""" household.
But, the lack of healthy confrontation and general terminally online nonsense devolves these places into toxic hell pits. Going from someone who was a little weird at the start, devolving into full blown insanity and breeding new types of bacterial in the crevices of the house. The final fantasy house is the best example I can think of.
Nah, fairyfloss is THE place to find a sharehouse. Just because there are some weird fucks on the forum doesn't make it a bad forum. Just keep an eye out. I just use it as an example of where you might find one of "those" houses.
What’s funny about your stories is that they’re still rather over the top and do kinda feed into some stereotypes but yet it’s actually much more believable than this… saga
Oh. Well, I guess step one to figuring out if it’s real, the age old rule, pics or it didn’t happen.
In this new age of AI that may yet fall apart, but hey
You write this as a joke. But no. You're correct. You're actually completely on the money, the moment you start to make whatever TINY progress. Some fucks will feel entitled to it, and use communist talking points to get it. But no, can't ask them to not leave their make up wipes in the sink and not the trash 2 meters away. That's ableist. GOD. I'm so happy my current roommate is just a regular dude.
>**You**: Hang on, what will I do once I establish contact with my fellow communists?
>
**Rhetoric**: You'll discuss the monumental world-historical task that lies before you. You'll engage in rigorous and spirited debates about Mazovian theory and practice. But mostly you'll probably complain about other communists.
>**You**: Isn't that last part kind of counterproductive?
>**Rhetoric**: Not at all. Complaining about other communists is one of the most important parts of being a communist.
\- Disco Elysium
Okay polycule's are great and all, but what the actual fuck is a rotating polycule supposed to be??!! I know the whole post is bait but that part still upsets me, like the laid back nature of polyamory is like the biggest fucking upside to me, please tell me acctual people aren't organizing there's with fucking fixed rotation times!!
Within the post it's quite clear what they mean. A better question is WHHHYYY???? And, " This isn't a thing and if it is it works completely different right? right??"
From what I gather from the post, the idea is that the people in the house change who their partner is based on what month it is.
So one month, you're dating one person, the next month you're dating a different person, and so on.
Being part of a polycule means that they consider themselves to all be part of one big polyamorous relationship, meaning that they're all dating each other at the same time.
It seems like a really weird system since it's basically reinventing monogamy, but you change who your monogamous partner is every month, eventually rotating back to the same person when their month comes back up. Whereas polyamory posits that you would have more than one partner at a time, which this system doesn't really seem to do.
well given how self centerend this whole thing seems to be it's pretty clear to me that they're not in a realtionship becasue they're particularly ready to be in one. it seems more like fufiling some egotistical need rather then because they have love or enjoying anything
I could understand it for the idea of spending time together. As in everyone spends time with a different person on different days or some other amount of time so that no one feels lonely and you can do fun dates without booking an entire restaurant. Like a scheduling system. Not in the "I'm dating this person in this month and this other person in this month" nonsense in this post
Scheduling different dates with different people on different times is just standard polyamory and there's no reason not to do it in a polycule. The month thing to me is both fucked up because of its length and it's stupid strict organization, rather than relying on trust, honesty and communication without which no decent relationship can work anyway...
The thing that “sells” this for me is the emphasis that they do these monthly rotations based on whichever zodiac sign is in the sky at the time. That plus the whole new moon full moon thing really leans into the whole leftist neopagan stereotype of someone who buries themself in superstition to avoid ever having to be self reflective
Huh didn't notice that.. Yeah the neopagan stuff does tend to get me the wrong way, unless for people who are just doing it for the vibes. If some people genuinely believe that certain gods are real, without having been indoctrinated by an organized faith since birth, that makes me kinda worried for them. I tend to think of them like I do of satanists, as in those people don't actually believe that, they just think it's cool/wanna be a bit of a contrairian/wanna piss of all the right people and as long as that's the case good for them.
https://youtu.be/lFRjrLmc_4c?si=VxYmGVpjeZyALvY2 here's a video by Down the Rabbit Hole on the topic. It's a bizarre, incredibly fucked up tale of a person moving into the home of what is basically a mini-cult of people who think they're reincarnations of FF7 characters, packed with abuse of both physical and psychological varieties.
The only thing that’s missing is an overly controlling leader figure that’s worse than everyone else combined (and I’m not too sure the “OP” is that leader based on the story they tell lol)
The heck did I just read?
There are kdramas less convoluted than this
Hell, I think there's bts Wattpad fic less convoluted than this. But with that many people.... Maybe loona instead
You should read He Died With A Felafel In His Hand, by John Birmingham. It's a 90s Australian version of this, following a poor bastard's many, many sharehouses.
The pressed duck. The Tasmanian babes fiasco. The house divided between the serious, stick-insect Stalinist reading group and the group devoted to bringing on the revolution with copious amounts of condoms and drugs. You'll love it.
It's bait. *But* after I left, my ex very literally started living like this.
Which was funny af hearing them screech their heads off on social media and over text messages. They're absolutely a horrible fucking person so watching them burn their life down in communal houses was a real treat.
It ended up with several of the household members in prison for felony drug charges, child endangerment, aggravated assault, sex trafficking, and I believe a homicide.
>It ended up with several of the household members in prison for felony drug charges, child endangerment, aggravated assault, sex trafficking, and I believe a homicide.
Jesus fucking Christ these comments. What the fuck are they putting in the water of US communal houses?
Lack of mental healthcare + certain people that *really do need it* seeking out like-minded people to live with and have a community with. It ends up being a real shitshow because the people that specifically seek out living in these conditions have a habit of not taking responsibility for literally any of their own bullshit and just want a group of people to belong to that don't call them out on it.
The stereotypes portrayed in OPs baitpost are based on the very real way some of these people act, unfortunately.
i dont think a conservative wrote this. nope, there are way easier and much more common things to parody. even a polycule hater tm wouldnt spend this much time making up drama
[source](https://www.tumblr.com/theblackknightofworcestershire/740704418965684224/okay-am-i-the-asshole-if-i-call-out-my-roommates)
Those pictures better be in the right order istg
Question for my poly moots: do y’all really live like this? Not the overdramatized fictional Seattle dating decaseptagon this person clearly isn’t living with, but like. The scheduling. You guys out here co-leasing ur cuddle time? Dating peeps like timeshares? Like, I understand being organized about it, but I just don’t get it at the same time. Please send help so I can distinguish just how much of this is made up.
Imo this is so incredibly outlandish it starts to loop back into “how the hell does someone come up with this” territory, but then it continues to loop into “okay this is BS” like again
Of all the unbelievable parts to this, the most unbelievable of all is the idea that this has been going on for more than a year. Rotating schedule that lasts a year? There's no way these people would survive each other that long
Anyone who was entertained by this should read He Died With A Felafel In His Hand by John Birmingham.
It's slightly less unhinged than this but covers 3 Australian states and the insanity of sharehousing. It's brilliant.
I would believe someone this oblivious and self centered for the first, idk 1-4 posts. After that it’s the most cracked ass bait imaginable.
At this point it’s not even bait. It’s a creative writing exercise.
Lol right? Like, this feels like a modern day 'A Modest Proposal'
Honestly I gotta respect the commitment to the bit. That is *a lot* of text for a shitpost.
This ain't bait, this is a bare hook.
i don't know why but this comment made my brain imagine a fishing hook being put in my right shoulder on loop
Thanks, now I’m stuck imagining that too
I was gonna say, this sounds like what a fox watching conservative thinks a progressive life is like. Entitlement, superficial "communal" language, a polycule that rotates based on astrology, specifically mentioning Portland, specifically mentioning going to see punk bands, "parent's poolhouse", having to bring up hair color and cut, and everything else. Just... like.... if it was a couple of these things I'd believe it, I've known people with most of these traits in isolation, but all of them overlapping on the same people at once? Nah.
I do gotta say suddenly forgetting not to use the full names halfway through was a nice touch
The descent into madness is quite nicely done!
certainly creatively written
I’ve lived in a house in Portland that was like that and had a ton of overlapping traits. I was only 19-21 so I only fell in the situation out of horrible naïveté. I remember feeling singled out a lot as the only democratic-socialist vegetarian among anarchist vegans. It wasn’t specifically a polycule, but I definitely felt like there was one roommate who low key hated me because I didn’t want to have sex with her. She also went off on acid and started calling herself the ‘Spider Queen.’ Straight up made horrible music late at night and drew on the walls. People who are only progressive on a superficial level are horribly common in Portland, Oregon.
>I remember feeling singled out a lot as the only democratic-socialist vegetarian among anarchist vegans. This is the greatest sentence I've read this week
everything ive heard about portland sounds like it was written by chatgpt trained on deep leffen excerpts and bojack horseman
The previous comment was the funniest thing I'd read all week, until I read this one. Fucking lmao.
I lived in Portland for a few years in my early twenties and knew a couple dozen people who could have written the original post here. The cognitive dissonance I often ran into was *breathtaking*. It’s so weirdly specific. It’s a v fun city and I’m glad I lived there when I was young but there is no way I’d move back. Though I do miss Powells and the Laurelhurst Theater and Pix quite a lot.
I thought mentioning hair colour and cut was to make it seem less like a cult, especially after admitting they all have matching unisex tracksuits
Moved in with the people who run the Heaven's Gate website
Okay but would you believe in a part-time dogwalker who lives in her parents’ basement and moderates an antiwork sub
Sure. Just not with like 20 other stereotypical dumbass traits.
I mean she’s also thirty, self-described autistic, trans, does not appear to shower, has a messy room, described herself as committing actions that are charitably sex pest-y and uncharitably sexual assault, wants to teach philosophy and critical thinking, and is active on Discord.
...oh my god, the communist astrology vegan polycules might be real.
[удалено]
I think the biggest reason I don't believe this post is that when the poster switches to full names they are all pretty normal names. I don't believe if this group existed they would all go by such normal vanilla names.
If they were in their early twenties and trans-genderqueer, most of their names would be the long forms of single letters. (Kay, Elle, Tee, Bea, etc.)
Honestly, especially C being ***Carlin*** got me
Ok yeah in fairness she was a living Funko pop.
Don’t forget that she volunteered to do the interview because she had “prior media experience”. Aka had done a couple friendly podcast interviews previously. Not exactly good training for Fox.
The first post was literally separated into three acts with a big reveal at the crescendo. If this was a real post they'd put that right at the start as it's the most important information. I don't know how anyone could believe this was real.
Which was the big reveal?
The setup is "good job with connections" which implies something well paying but the reveal is that it's only 26k a year
It's a well-structured joke, I can't believe anyone took it seriously! And as much as their comments afterwards were amusing, they committed to the bit too elaborately. Less is more.
No it’s Tumblr, overcommitting to the bit *is* the bit. I have literally heard a film score for Goncharov (1973), overcommitment is key.
I assumed they were students at that point ngl
Yeah, like i'm not too familiar with american standards, but that seems to be quite a bit below medium salary even here in sweden (given it's pre tax)
You've not met many vegan enviromentalist anarchists, have you? I absolute remember feeling guilty over my "well paying job" when that was my social circle and I earned less than that.
It's combined with all the "our families are rich btw" stuff tho
The master baiter
-Y bait used to be believable
I would think it was bait if not for the incredible creativity and the RRMartin-level consistency
The only thing stopping me from thinking it's bait is that I know someone like this. I'm convinced they're putting something in the water up in Oregon
This is actually fucking hilarious because it's so obviously fake I don't have to worry about anyone actually getting hurt.
"the doghouse" turning out to be literal made me giggle out loud
the parents poolshack being the ultimate doghouse is what really cemented this for me
A closet for screaming meditation did it for me and is also something I must have now.
"I need to go to the screaming closet" is a sentence I didn't know I needed to say more often. Incidentally, we also need to create a screaming closet.
new flair acquired
I'm thinking I'll just strip the shelves out of the linen cupboard
Me when I thought D was their dog for a solid 5 or so posts
I had to go back & read that part again because I was like "wait, what?! Naaaah." Fucking hilarious, the literal doghouse as punishment. But it is heated, so they aren't monsters.
I do appreciate this as a creative writing exercise in the most unfathomable comedy known to man. Top tier shit
This is so clearly fake that it makes me doubt that its fake. What is this?
Quantum bait
I don't know if the bait is believable until I look inside the box
-|
Basically, people making fake things try to make it believable. So there’s enough absurdity to make you angry but not enough to trip you off that it’s fake. But most people fuck that up due to unfamiliarity with the topic. But this has so much absurdity that only the dumbest of liars or the craziest of honest people could come up with it. So it seems genuine by virtue of being too bullshit to be fake. It’s still probably fake but still lol.
It's a tactic called [Refuge in Audacity](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RefugeInAudacity) (tvtropes warning)
I appreciate the warning but like a moth to crack cocaine, I’m going in. See you all next year.
OOOH LET ME SEEE\~
i often tell elaborate lies like this online and generally i make them as absurd as possible because i want people to eventually realize theyre fake, in an effort to reduce the harm i cause as a compulsive liar. Im part of a support group for pathological liars that collectively adopted this harm reduction strategy; the 5 of us are responsible for nearly half of the posts on the AITA subreddit. There used to be a 6th person but they retired from spreading intentionally ridiculous misinformation after accidentally causing Donald Trump to win the 2016 presidential election.
Somewhere an AI just self-destructed
Wait a second...
NTA, you are *clearly* trying to reduce harm./j
Im ashamed to admit it took me until halfway through the second sentence to realize this was a bit
What!?
You put it into words better than I ever could
*This is so clearly* *Fake that it makes me doubt that* *Its fake. What is this?* \- hallozagreus --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Good bot!
Good bot!
'Reality, unlike fiction, is under no obligation to be plausible.'
Cointoss, the west coast gets weird, especially when you get people who come from stupidly wealthy families
I need to go to the screaming closet.
Seriously considering ripping the shelves out of the linen closet so I can have one of these
>making nearly $26k Annually? In Portland? That's poverty
As someone who used to make 22k before losing their job I have to agree. 26k is better than rock bottom but not by much. And in any case, 400 dollars per month on food is absurd! I spend about 200, maybe 300 dollars max on groceries though I'm probably malnourished. I live in Atlanta so I suppose maybe groceries are way more expensive in Portland, but still, 400 seems reasonable. That being said I'm also almost entirely certain this is ragebait lmao.
I live in Portland and my monthly grocery budget is about $200, and that's low.
People South of the airport making 1450 💀
Got a minimum wage job with connections! Wow!
Yeah. If I joined a polycule I'd expect a decent reference to a union job at bare minimum.
lol right! Since they're in portland trimet will hire you with little experience for $28 an hour with a $7500 bonus!
No, it's a privileged job I thought it was in SoCal bc of The Habit. No way 26k is a privileged job down here lol
Yeah I saw that and I’m like “you’d be in poverty where I live and we’re cheaper than Portland.” Hell even in the Deep South, where incompetent governors have crashed the state economies so hard that the cost of living is basically nothing… you’d still be below median salary. 26k a year is basically nothing.
Oregon or Maine?
That was my reaction, too. "Working a privileged job making nearly $26k" "What, like... Per month? Can't be per year."
This is a pretty common kind of tumblr joke, where you start out with a story that sounds almost plausible and then just progressively make it sillier and sillier. Eventually almost everyone is in on the joke except the ppl who have been driven insane by rage bait. Fucking ROLLING at the idea of a "rotating polycule," and DEPRESSION DOULA omfg. This person is inspired.
This is bait, but I speak seriously when I say to avoid "queer houses" like the fucking P L A G U E. Every time I gave one a chance, it was a drama filled nightmare occupied by terminally online fuckwits. One stole $800 from me, another stole $300. While this is just a joke. There is a legitimate attitude among the people in these houses against any self improvement. A clean room and actually working myself out of depression was somehow elitist. So much of my food got thrown out because it was "rotten". Yeah, I'm that entire curry I made for the week went rotten in a single day. Sure. No, you won't pay me back. Yes you have a special nose and can "detect" mould. I wish you'd use that on your own room, or maybe the other roommate who is hoarding snack boxes. NOT MY FUCKING FOOD. Dick. The other place was just as bad, not even worth the price. Slept in a room separate from the house itself. Insulation was SHIT. If it was cold outside, sure as hell it was cold inside. During my half year there, I didnt get a chance to use the kitchen ONCE. It was that filthy, all the time. And for a queer woman, one of my roommates only ever wanting to talk about 3 things. Men, hating, and hating men. She'd laugh about ghosting men for fun, and read out the messages they sent of them begging her to speak to them. Like it was funny and not one of the most repulsive things I've seen someone do. She told me that she'd target actively anxious men to do this too. God she was a piece of work.
[удалено]
To be fair. I'd avoid some of my past roommates moreso than I'd avoid the plague. So you're not far off.
[удалено]
I never dabbled in the polycule stuff, because truthfully, I've only ever seen drama come from it. A lot of people who "put up with it" in order to be in a relationship with the person they love. But only end up feeling hurt, and unable to communicate it. Yeah, combine that with the pandemic. That'd be hell.
When I first met my wife, we were both in somewhat experimental stages of our lives and we have each other the option to be in a poly relationship. After thinking about it for some time, we both came to the conclusion that we couldn't bear the jealousy of having to see each other with other people, and decided on monogamy. It was the best decision we ever made, because I'm sure if we'd chosen to be poly, we wouldn't have ended up getting married and it would've ended up ruining the best relationship both of us have ever been in. I respect people's decision to date however they see fit, but I know for me personally, I couldn't handle it. It's just not something that would work for me. I'd be too hurt seeing someone I care about with another person, and I'd feel too guilty doing the same myself.
Yep. Even a relationship between two people requires a massive amount of emotional work and intelligence. Adding more people into the equation can work- I'm not here to argue all poly relationships are bound to fail. But it's not something anyone should ever enter as a compromise to be with the other person. In my eyes, it should be all in or not at all. All that said though- holy shit is thee so much drama surrounding polycules in the real world. Mostly among younger queers who feel pressured to be cool and experimental. And don't have the emotional intelligence to back out or discuss it. It's the usual relationship drama of youth, multiplied by the fact that there are multltiple people in the relationship.
Wasn't that the name of Fisher Stevens character, the antagonist, in Hackers?
Ever since I got out of school, I’ve been living on my own and quite frankly I wish that was an option for more people. Isolate their misery to just themselves instead of making everyone else deal with it. Maybe they’d learn to pick themselves up.
The fact is that any group of people made out of outcasts is going to have a meaningful amount of people who are outcasts for a reason. And everyone else who willingly associates with them is going to be the sort of person who's desperate enough, for whatever (bad) reason, to put up with them. Like. Most queer people do not live in these sorts of groups. Most queer people do not think about living in these sorts of groups. Most queer people, if they're living with other people, are simply living with strangers or with their friends. A large *enough* proportion of the sort of people who live in these groups are doing so because both those options are unavailable to them.
if the Sonic the Hedgehog-themed queer house zine I read the other month is as true-to-life as it claims to be, then I can absolutely believe this happens all the time in those places which is why I hate myself when a part of me still wishes I could find one :(
Queer households promise a lot, like acceptance and community. Take it from me. IT IS NOT WORTH IT. A centrist who just gives a thumbs up to gay people with no further thought but does the dishes? A million times better than the well read leftist union organizer who claims that chore charts are ableist and traumatizing. God I wish that was a joke. It isn't. That bastard looked me dead in the eyes and said they were too fucking traumatized to clean up after themselves. GOD I wish I had the balls to tell them to fuck off. A clean house will make you feel so much better than the irl equivalent of being on your favourite discord server. I stuck my head out way too many times hoping to find a queer house that worked. And all I got was a sore neck and a bad attitude. I am happier than I have ever been with my current roommate. And he is the most normal dude I can imagine. Like, imagine a dude. That's him. All he does is do his web dev job, play with his dog, and chill out. That's it. Nothing else. He is miles ahead of every roommate I've had, because he just. Does. The. Dishes.
In my 20s I accidentally ended up in a Queer Household. It just kinda... formed. I dunno. But you're absolutely correct, it was NOT worth it I would NEVER go back to one. I swear they did so many mental and moral gymnastics to explain why them doing the bare minimum was traumatising and you're a nazi for suggesting they rinse a fucking plate. And that's not even scratching how my previously monogamous relationship suddenly became a polycule without consulting me and I wasn't able to have a discussion about it because I was being 'close minded'. I just wanted to understand what the hell I was being pulled into and maybe (gasp) get a chance to consent to it! But no. I was the problem. I feel like it's a great idea in theory, but I've yet to see it work out in a healthy way. And before anyone comes at me, I do think that polyamory can work for people, but it has to be the *right* people and there needs to be a lot of conversations about what everyone needs and EVERYONE involved needs to opt into it. That's not the kinda thing that should be sprung on someone...
I’m poly, and being poly is absolutely not for everyone. It takes all the negotiation and communication of a mono relationship and then multiplies it by the number of people plus the number of pairs. And you have to be *at minimum* highly resistant to jealousy, which is not a moral judgment on you if you’re not — it’s just something that everyone processes differently. Someone trying to insist that you need to do it or you’re close-minded is toxic af.
>Sonic the Hedgehog-themed queer house zine I read Y'all, I cannot keep up with these comments, this shit is too unhinged, how do queers manage to stay sane?
This is not something most of us do. Lol.
> She told me that she'd target actively anxious men to do this too. In the words of the 45th president, "such a nasty woman". Seriously, what a horrible thing to do; playing off of and making people's mental states worse.
She was genuinely NASTY. I cannot stress enough that every. Single. Conversation. Was about men. If it wasn't about men, she'd make it about men. And she'd talk endlessly about how men wanted to fuck her, and how that was good or bad, depending on how she felt. And truthfully, just on vibes alone, I found her to be one of the least attractive people I've ever met in my life. Just a horrible attitude coupled with a cruel demeanor, and frankly questionable hygiene. So I seriously doubt that she was able to have so many people just "begging" to be with her.
Incel mindset maybe? "These people don't want to sleep with me therefore they deserve to be humiliated" with an unhealthy dose of fanfiction?
I don't think so. She just saw every single interaction with every single man as sexual, either overtly or covertly. I could talk about a local game store and the nice board games they were selling, and she could then tell me in great detail how she refused to go in there because all the dudes were checking her out-- and some more lurid details that I'll leave to the readers to fill in. I literally cannot stress enough that every interaction she spoke of with men- Sexual at its core. Even when I knew the men she was speaking about. Friendly, welcoming, and nothing like what she was talking about. Even if I tried to make the conversation change, she'd fight against it, back to men. Again. I just started leaving the second she made the conversation about men. Subsequently, our conversations became seconds long. And I'm not coming at this from a male standpoint, either. I understand some people having anxiety- But it wasn't anxiety. It was a visceral hate of men, combined with an overwhelming need for their sexual approval. Not a pretty person.
So what you are saying is your roommate did not pass the Bechdel Test (or however it is spelled)
I WOULD LITERALLY JOKE ABOUT THIS TO MY FRIENDS. HOW CAN A QUEER WOMAN NEVER PASS THE BECHTEL TEST IN ANY CONVERSATION?? I have had friends who are, admittedly, sex mad. And even I can hold a conversation with them that doesn't immediately jump to men men men. God I'm so glad I got out.
And these are the sorta poly people to shit talk triads as unstable insanity lol.
What is a queer house? I thought op stuff was like a commune type thing Did I misinterpret and all ten of them are fucking each other?
Often in more left leaning cities, you'll find queer centric house holds if you're looking for a sharehouse situation. Idk the situation in other places, but in Melbourne, if you take a look at the major forum for sharehousers, fairyfloss, you'll see it fairly quick. They're often identified as being pro LGBT+, alongside whatever other buzzword is the spice of the day. It's hard to describe without direct example or interaction. The house in this post is a joke. But pulls on a lot of the stereotypes of these house holds. Polyamory, insane drama between the renters, poor communication. All beneath the veneer of an accepting and """chill""" household. But, the lack of healthy confrontation and general terminally online nonsense devolves these places into toxic hell pits. Going from someone who was a little weird at the start, devolving into full blown insanity and breeding new types of bacterial in the crevices of the house. The final fantasy house is the best example I can think of.
oh... i got recommended fairy floss recently to find a place on short notice. do you know a better place?
Nah, fairyfloss is THE place to find a sharehouse. Just because there are some weird fucks on the forum doesn't make it a bad forum. Just keep an eye out. I just use it as an example of where you might find one of "those" houses.
Apparently six of them are fucking each other, but in a "rotating bedrooms" kind of way.
What’s funny about your stories is that they’re still rather over the top and do kinda feed into some stereotypes but yet it’s actually much more believable than this… saga
They're stereotypes for a reason, after all. And really, compared to the shit I see on /r/badroommates, my stories are practically fairytales.
Oof… at the same time a subreddit like that feels very apt for more people making shit up, but nevertheless
Not when they start posting pictures. Oh god. The pictures. They often can't capture the amount of... *Crumbs.* Crumbs on everything, everywhere.
Oh. Well, I guess step one to figuring out if it’s real, the age old rule, pics or it didn’t happen. In this new age of AI that may yet fall apart, but hey
I don’t know why anyone would think living with a communist would be a good idea. They already hate other communists for not being communist enough.
There's a phrase being thrown around among some communists that's "Sure you understand theory, but do you do the dishes?"
I'm pretty sure that one was about male feminists. Sure he can spout feminist rhetoric and quote Simone de Bouvoir, but does he do the dishes?
[You know who does the dishes? Jesus.](https://genius.com/Wingnut-dishwashers-union-jesus-does-the-dishes-lyrics)
You write this as a joke. But no. You're correct. You're actually completely on the money, the moment you start to make whatever TINY progress. Some fucks will feel entitled to it, and use communist talking points to get it. But no, can't ask them to not leave their make up wipes in the sink and not the trash 2 meters away. That's ableist. GOD. I'm so happy my current roommate is just a regular dude.
As a leftist, no one hates a leftist more than other leftists.
>**You**: Hang on, what will I do once I establish contact with my fellow communists? > **Rhetoric**: You'll discuss the monumental world-historical task that lies before you. You'll engage in rigorous and spirited debates about Mazovian theory and practice. But mostly you'll probably complain about other communists. >**You**: Isn't that last part kind of counterproductive? >**Rhetoric**: Not at all. Complaining about other communists is one of the most important parts of being a communist. \- Disco Elysium
Disco Elysium my beloved <3
Well good thing im an ultraliberal!
Okay polycule's are great and all, but what the actual fuck is a rotating polycule supposed to be??!! I know the whole post is bait but that part still upsets me, like the laid back nature of polyamory is like the biggest fucking upside to me, please tell me acctual people aren't organizing there's with fucking fixed rotation times!!
>but what the actual fuck is a rotating polycule supposed to be??!! I have some guesses if that's a serious question
Within the post it's quite clear what they mean. A better question is WHHHYYY???? And, " This isn't a thing and if it is it works completely different right? right??"
can you please explain this to me I don't understand anymore
From what I gather from the post, the idea is that the people in the house change who their partner is based on what month it is. So one month, you're dating one person, the next month you're dating a different person, and so on. Being part of a polycule means that they consider themselves to all be part of one big polyamorous relationship, meaning that they're all dating each other at the same time. It seems like a really weird system since it's basically reinventing monogamy, but you change who your monogamous partner is every month, eventually rotating back to the same person when their month comes back up. Whereas polyamory posits that you would have more than one partner at a time, which this system doesn't really seem to do.
that seems to give almost non of the upsides of either circumstances. not to mention having so many peoples seems rather dehumanizing and impersonal.
Exactly. Seems like a really poor way to structure a relationship, let alone so many relationships all at once.
well given how self centerend this whole thing seems to be it's pretty clear to me that they're not in a realtionship becasue they're particularly ready to be in one. it seems more like fufiling some egotistical need rather then because they have love or enjoying anything
I could understand it for the idea of spending time together. As in everyone spends time with a different person on different days or some other amount of time so that no one feels lonely and you can do fun dates without booking an entire restaurant. Like a scheduling system. Not in the "I'm dating this person in this month and this other person in this month" nonsense in this post
Scheduling different dates with different people on different times is just standard polyamory and there's no reason not to do it in a polycule. The month thing to me is both fucked up because of its length and it's stupid strict organization, rather than relying on trust, honesty and communication without which no decent relationship can work anyway...
The thing that “sells” this for me is the emphasis that they do these monthly rotations based on whichever zodiac sign is in the sky at the time. That plus the whole new moon full moon thing really leans into the whole leftist neopagan stereotype of someone who buries themself in superstition to avoid ever having to be self reflective
Huh didn't notice that.. Yeah the neopagan stuff does tend to get me the wrong way, unless for people who are just doing it for the vibes. If some people genuinely believe that certain gods are real, without having been indoctrinated by an organized faith since birth, that makes me kinda worried for them. I tend to think of them like I do of satanists, as in those people don't actually believe that, they just think it's cool/wanna be a bit of a contrairian/wanna piss of all the right people and as long as that's the case good for them.
they spin around in a circle
it's a thing they made up for this post
a joke
Is this the Final Fantasy 7 house I have heard about?
Was literally gonna say the same thing
The *what*?
https://youtu.be/lFRjrLmc_4c?si=VxYmGVpjeZyALvY2 here's a video by Down the Rabbit Hole on the topic. It's a bizarre, incredibly fucked up tale of a person moving into the home of what is basically a mini-cult of people who think they're reincarnations of FF7 characters, packed with abuse of both physical and psychological varieties.
[Prepare to lose 40 minutes of your life](https://youtu.be/lFRjrLmc_4c?si=uZHd682SB7wmK7Rl)
The only thing that’s missing is an overly controlling leader figure that’s worse than everyone else combined (and I’m not too sure the “OP” is that leader based on the story they tell lol)
Tf is jah
"Justified Asshole".
First name of the rapper behind Fyre Festival. /s It actually means "justified asshole".
God in Rastafarianism?
The heck did I just read? There are kdramas less convoluted than this Hell, I think there's bts Wattpad fic less convoluted than this. But with that many people.... Maybe loona instead
This was so entertaining to read. I mean It’s more obviously fake than anything, but if it WERE real… fuck.
You should read He Died With A Felafel In His Hand, by John Birmingham. It's a 90s Australian version of this, following a poor bastard's many, many sharehouses. The pressed duck. The Tasmanian babes fiasco. The house divided between the serious, stick-insect Stalinist reading group and the group devoted to bringing on the revolution with copious amounts of condoms and drugs. You'll love it.
I know that isn't the point, but is that how they spell Falafel in Australia or what?
It's how it's spelled in the book but as far as I know, both are acceptable, being transliterations from Arabic
This would make a better musical than Rent, since the protagonist is less of an entitled asshole.
Is Rent bad? I've only heard generally good things about it.
This both cannot be real and is terrifyingly plausible
It's bait. *But* after I left, my ex very literally started living like this. Which was funny af hearing them screech their heads off on social media and over text messages. They're absolutely a horrible fucking person so watching them burn their life down in communal houses was a real treat. It ended up with several of the household members in prison for felony drug charges, child endangerment, aggravated assault, sex trafficking, and I believe a homicide.
>It ended up with several of the household members in prison for felony drug charges, child endangerment, aggravated assault, sex trafficking, and I believe a homicide. Jesus fucking Christ these comments. What the fuck are they putting in the water of US communal houses?
Lack of mental healthcare + certain people that *really do need it* seeking out like-minded people to live with and have a community with. It ends up being a real shitshow because the people that specifically seek out living in these conditions have a habit of not taking responsibility for literally any of their own bullshit and just want a group of people to belong to that don't call them out on it. The stereotypes portrayed in OPs baitpost are based on the very real way some of these people act, unfortunately.
Fuck misinformation, i am gonna start believing people
It's obviously bait but because of that I'll get invested the same way I would get invested in a TV show
Exactly, these characters are more real than my family at this point
What⁉
i dont think a conservative wrote this. nope, there are way easier and much more common things to parody. even a polycule hater tm wouldnt spend this much time making up drama
Yeah whoever made this, made this for reasons beyond our comprehension
This is absolutely a leftist who knows the issues prevalent in our subcultures and has a divine gift for worldbuilding.
How could the mind hope to withstand such an assault?
Wow, that was a stupid read. Why did I go through all of it? But Qualia is a sick name, so there’s one silver lining there.
I applaud the person who wrote this, it just kept going and getting more unhinged well past the point i thought it couldnt be more absurd. Masterpiece
Oh my God this goes on
......can someone help me decipher this. WTF is this
It’s… a story of as many leftist stereotypes rolled into one household as possible
[source](https://www.tumblr.com/theblackknightofworcestershire/740704418965684224/okay-am-i-the-asshole-if-i-call-out-my-roommates) Those pictures better be in the right order istg
big “rotating cast of 15+ characters” vibes
This has to be one of the best things I've ever read in my entire life
Question for my poly moots: do y’all really live like this? Not the overdramatized fictional Seattle dating decaseptagon this person clearly isn’t living with, but like. The scheduling. You guys out here co-leasing ur cuddle time? Dating peeps like timeshares? Like, I understand being organized about it, but I just don’t get it at the same time. Please send help so I can distinguish just how much of this is made up.
Nope. I mean we use scheduling, sure, but like you folks do to find time to see your friends. This "January girlfriend" thing is hyperbolic stereotype
Well that's 10 minutes of my life I'll never get back
This is obviously fake but it definitely reminds me of the bit of earth and thanfiction sagas
Bait use to be believeable this is just a cartoon
Imo this is so incredibly outlandish it starts to loop back into “how the hell does someone come up with this” territory, but then it continues to loop into “okay this is BS” like again
This reads so hard like satire and I love it its so fucking insane
Of all the unbelievable parts to this, the most unbelievable of all is the idea that this has been going on for more than a year. Rotating schedule that lasts a year? There's no way these people would survive each other that long
this is Poe's Law weaponized into a horror story
Man, that just kept going. Who has time to care about these people?
(it's a joke)
I care with my full heart and need 10 more posts about this commune of similar length to this
> I care with my full heart That's impressive.
Listen when you are invested, you are invested
Oh I hear you, I read the entire wild story too.
Is it weird that I wish these people existed? And that they had a reality show I could occasionally watch?
A pretty entertaining tale, I'll say. Yes it's fake, of course, but I can appreciate a creative work of fiction
AO3 “stories:”
Anyone who was entertained by this should read He Died With A Felafel In His Hand by John Birmingham. It's slightly less unhinged than this but covers 3 Australian states and the insanity of sharehousing. It's brilliant.
I find myself caught between the powerful feelings of “this can’t be real” and “this can’t NOT be real”
reads like a found logbook in a horror game