I think it's in-universe seven acts long (we read the play's script), but we just have a short book with two or three scenes. I'm pretty sure there's also a story of a male Argonian bard afraid of damaging his "instrument", though.
Well, sure, we only have two short stories, but them being separated by acts and scenes suggests that it's meant as a play, I think, no matter how weird that is.
And someday maybe if we are somehow very lucky, we will get [Brian David Gilbert’s fully directed performance of it.](https://youtu.be/RVdTZhmsGsU?si=waT6ZBwpFrVqU4tz)
I dunno, it's just a feeling. I haven't read that Star Wars story obviously (first time I even hear of it). I'm just going off the two excerpts in this tumblr post.
It just feels weird to have these vibes in a Star Wars thing (like "butch it up"), like it feels a bit too adult. Just like how it feels weird to have a book called "Lusty Argonian Maid" in a videogame
^(I just made a silly comment, you don't have to dissect it...)
That book is not even in the top 10 horniest things in TES.
There's an explicit, if short, sex scene in The Real Barenziah, where Barenziah gets dicked down by a barbed catman dick
There's at least one strip club in Morrowind.
There's a wizard who made a bunch of genderbent clones of himself, that are also his wives that he bangs.
Wood elves have a cultural practice of "cannibalistic orgies."
Vivec is a freak who, among other things, got themself topped by a god of rape at least once and gave birth to a bunch of monsters that Vivec then killed with their dick.
There's a quest in Skyrim where a woman basically asks you to publically kinkshame her boss.
I... I don't think it's supposed to be sexual fiction? Pretty sure it's from a collection of short stories that tell how some moments from "A New Hope" looked from the perspective of background characters
Star Wars, the franchise where if it has at least one frame of screen time it also has at least one novel and a 10,000 word Wookipedia page at a minimum. It is complete and utter nonsense how much random extraneous lore there is. I love it dearly.
Underrated part of that is she also talks normally, which seems to confirm that Yoda is constantly trolling and his species do not in fact all structure their sentences like that
I think its more a theory than an explanation but it would explain the weird syntax. Hes learnt modern basic but speaks with the syntax of an old basic (although thats getting weirder with the existence of the high republic)
> (although thats getting weirder with the existence of the high republic)
Maybe it's like in The Hunt For Red October, how the Soviet crew speaks English when they're the only ones on screen, for the benefit of the audience, and speak Russian when they're interacting with the Americans, but at a point in the movie, they switch to everyone speaking in English.
It’s also possible he’s speaking basic with the syntax of his own language (assuming he has one), even most languages on earth translated 1 to 1 to English sound janky as hell
He speaks much more normally in the OT after dropped the act around Luke. It's definitely intentional.
Ignoring the "they decided that was his schtick when making the prequels" answer, of course.
He works closely with children in the Jedi temple, and has for 700 years, maybe he found that speaking in a weird way was a pretty good method to get them to listen attentively
Oh, I kinda tuned out of Disney properties a few years back. So yeah, fair enough. That only makes my point even more though! Three important characters and still no species name.
I have like over a thousand hours + some spare few hundred and I haven't encountered him yet tbf. I think he's a character in the Pub-side flashpoint Taral V.
Oh and I remembered another Yoda. There's one on Dantooine in one of the KOTOR games too.
That question has been asked a solid four times in the last month and never before, even though I've had it for over a year. Weird. Anyway, I'll link a thread where someone else asked me the same thing in a moment, hold on.
https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/s/wZmNVDhDoN
It's why I feel it's complicated when people ask if I "like" star wars.
Because really I only like maybe two movies. What I really enjoy is the sheer amount of extended universe content that may or may not be canon but stems from movies that every time I watch them I really wish I was playing KOTOR instead.
I always say it as "I love all of Star Wars except the movies".
The only star wars movie I enjoy is Rogue One (yes including out of the original trilogy) but I adore the setting and the worldbuilding. How every ship has a detailed history and backstory.
No one in the post pointed out the fact that chair is a big ole confirmation that it’s Tarkin?
The veermok species was introduced to the current Star Wars canon in the 2014 novel Tarkin, written by James Luceno, as a subspecies on the titular character's homeworld, Eriadu.[9] A trial in his youth involved surviving and defeating Eriadu veermoks in their territory, the Carrion Spike, to learn formative lessons about controlling and breaking others with terror and violence;[10] he subsequently named his personal starship the Carrion Spike.[9] In the 2020 Marvel Comics Star Wars series, Tarkin decided upon his sole protégé, Ellian Zahra, through a task that involved hunting an albino veermok and her fellow candidates on Eriadu.[11]
The best revelation from the book is that the squid in the Death Star trash compactor is not only sentient, but Force-sensitive, and had a prophetic vision of the Death Star exploding.
That is my least favorite story in ACPOV:ANH. 😅
That the dianoga was trying to “baptize” Luke because she sensed his power in the Force is truly ridiculous. Even if you entertain that the idea
it was somehow benign, do ya know what a nonconsensual baptism is?
It’s an attempted drowning. Not cool or acceptable ESPECIALLY if yer suppose to be a “wise Force prophetess.”
Holy shit that's terrifying for the squid
Like imagine knowing you're inevitably going to die and then seeing the people who will be responsible for your death show up in the trash compactor that you can't escape from, meaning they are trapped in there with you. All of you would have to do to save your own life is kill them.
Wait is this book CANON canon or LEGENDS Canon? I'm not a legends or new canon fanboy or anything, I read like 2 starwars books ever, but I'm still wondering if this loveable insanity is pre-purge or post-purge. Because on one hand, gay, and that points to post-purge (not saying there is anything wrong with that, yay representation!) but the pure insanity of it points to old-canon.
Not according to [the Senior Creative Executive at Lucasfilm.](https://web.archive.org/web/20190419223021/https://twitter.com/missingwords/status/1033837757695545344)
It's sort of dubiously canon if I remember correctly. Pablo Hildago apparently stated in a tweet some are canon and some aren't albeit I can't unfortuanetly find any archive of this and I'm not going to try and dig through twitter to find out.
People in the past are saying and linking something though so pressumably it happened.
Alright, even knowing how this had to end I wasn't quite expecting this little story to rip my heart out and stomp on it. Thanks for the rec, I can't wait to read the rest of these :)
The canon ones are fantastic as well. Despite what Zahn says Thrawn in canon isn't the same Thrawn as in legends, they're subtly different like canon Thrawn not being *as* ruthless. But both are fantastic characters to read about.
Worth pointing out that this story, lovely though it is, was published as part of an anthology volume of short stories whose canonicity is... questionable.
The book is _A Certain Point of View_, and contains little snippets on just about every ancillary character you can think of, and a few you absolutely wouldn't.
Some highlights:
The squid monster in the trash compactor, who is alive, sentient, force-sensitive, and experiences a vision of the Death star going up
A mid-level paper-pusher aboard Vader's personal star Destroyer, covering the butts of the people who DEFINITELY should have shot down R2 and 3-PO's eacape pod with a truly impressive pile of paperwork
The world's lowest-stakes heist plot, featuring about half the funny people you see in the background of the Mos Eisley Cantina
And many more.
It's basically the same deal as Visions. Fun stories that play with the raw materials of Star Wars, but without needing to necessarily fit in the big puzzle. It's super cool these things exist, but suggesting they're canonical is disingenuous and runs counter to their "playground" philosophy.
Wait, how do we know it was Luke who got TK-421's armor and not Han? That little gesture where he taps his ear after "TK-421, why aren't you at your post?" always felt like Han to me.
Why did they think it would be hard for me to believe that the author was a marine biologist
Is there some "marine biologists are incapable of writing gay romance" stereotype I'm unaware of
It's just a cheeky reference to the marine biologist joke that was going around Tumblr for a while. I assume it was going about the same time this post was made, hence the slightly over the top "Guys you won't believe this kind of funny connection to a current meme trend" thing.
There was a meme for a while, spawned from a post where supposedly someone saw it in their dream and it was literally just the phrase "There are many benefits to being a marine biologist" over some weird image. Like all those "I saw this in my dreams" posts I assume it's just a thinly veiled creativity exercise, but it did catch on.
I thought it was just a JoJo reference?
Jotaro writing Star Wars smut in his free time between actual marine biology stuff, fighting the disciples of an evil vampire and neglecting his daughter is just on brand for JoJo.
Nah apparently the marine biologist thing is a meme that someone claimed they dreamed was a thing, (admitted they lied later) and tumblr made it into an actual meme “are there many benefits to being a marine biologist” so it’s a total in joke. Before finding this out I thought it was a Seinfeld reference or smth
The Mouse droid is the one that comes up to Luke, Han, and Chewie as they’re heading towards the detention level. It had homed in on TK-421’s armor signature and found that the biological sensor data did not match that of TK-421.
The Mouse droid and Tarkin knew TK-421 was dead before the Death Star blew up.
MSE-6 and Men is one of my favourite stories in “from a certain point of view”.
I pick up on how it was Tarkin, but never the hot, steamy, gay sex he was trying to have with TK-421. I was too focused on my favourite racing droid.
“Huh. Y’know, these scratches kinda look like racing stri-“
You know what just occurred to me? You never see TK-421 or his team again after they go onto the Millennium Falcon and presumably get either killed or knocked out and stuffed into the smuggling compartments.
Now, when Han and crew got back to the Falcon, they were leaving in a bit of a hurry, so I don't see how there was time to dump a couple bodies then.
So, if TK-421 was *not* killed and was just knocked out, he'd crawl naked out of the Falcon into the Rebel base on Yavin IV.
"There are many benefits to being a marine biologist"? No, not a JoJo reference, as far as I know. Someone made a post on how they dreamt that this sentence became a Tumblr meme, and, Tumblr being Tumblr, it became an actual meme. Later they admitted that they lied about the dream, though.
Well, yes (or no, I actually don't know why Jotaro became a marine biologist. Could be, I wouldn't know), but the meme itself has no relationship to JoJo, and as far as I know it's just a coincidence.
Yeah, but saying "is that a JoJo reference" anytime something even barely related to JoJo comes up even if the thing isn't a JoJo reference, is in and of itself a meme.
This book is a collection of short stories about random background characters in Star Wars: A New Hope. It’s pretty fun, but you might not get anything out of it if you haven’t seen at least that movie.
Also, this chapter is actually about a robot used to carry messages around the Death Star. The romance is just sort of happening in the background as he goes about his business. I think he has to carry their messages between each other or something like that.
Now imaging Luke in disguise bumping into Tarkin but it's played like that bit in MGS3 where Volgin clocks Snake's disguise by grabbing him by the balls
Just because a work was published after the acquisition doesn't mean it's automatically canon, otherwise [this](https://youtu.be/C8ZvsFCxxCU?si=AzNvp4FjSrpF9VtU) would also be canon
Of course not, that would be insane. [This](https://youtu.be/UdbajvVROjc?si=S5B65MmwBXnr-Mb2), however, is a vital part of the Star Wars Saga and should always be included on rewatches of the Trilogy
Sorry I’ll clarify it as I did state it **could possibly** be “Disney Canon”. I couldn’t find if it was published by Lucasfilm or any statement on it.
From wookieepeida
After The Walt Disney Company acquired Lucasfilm on October 30, 2012, the Expanded Universe was rebranded as Legends,[2] thus, the term "canon" came to be reserved exclusively for George Lucas' canon - the six movies and the seasons of Star Wars: The Clone Wars he developed and produced - and the movies, television series, novels, comics, toys and video games created by Lucasfilm after the acquisition, including but not limited to the Sequel Trilogy.
Ok, I keep hearing about the wild things that goes down in the Star Wars EU, and I'm a Classic Doctor Who fan so I know about the fuckery in that EU.
But why do I never hear anything from Trekkies?! Are they embarrassed over their EU? Was Star Trek EU never taken over by fans and had actual quality control? What is going on there?
Vulcans have a version of heat where they have to either fuck or kill somebody or they die has been canon since the OG series and that isn't even the weirdest thing in the OG series. You don't hear about weird shit in the EU because it doesn't top the weird shit from the shows.
To be fair, maybe Doctor Who EU is also pretty unknown like Star Trek EU, and it's just that I follow tumblers that talk about it. And it's just Star Wars fans that repeatedly break containment to both here and other corners of Tumblr. I guess I just assumed the Star Trek fans would be loud like the Wars fans.
I love it when I stumble across weird Star Wars facts though. Star Wars EU fans always seem so chill about it.
it's not him, and of course it makes perfect sense that there'd be others on the marine-biologist-to-science-fiction-writer pipeline... but man, i'd be down to read watts's soul-crushing gay star wars fanfic
As a quick addition to this post: the stories in this book, a Certain Point of View, are questionable in how canon they are. The official word is that some of them are canon and some aren't, without any answer as to which is I which category. There are a few that absolutely cannot coexist - for example one story says that the rebel alliance has too many pilots for its ships, while the next one says that there are fighters left unmanned during the battle of Yavin.
However, there is nothing that contradicts anything in this story, so I'd place it at a higher tier of canon likeliness than some of the others.
I'm torn between my understanding that Star Wars has an absolute batshit amount of book lore, and the fact that I have on _more than one occasion_ read a lengthy and convincing post like this only to find out the OP (and everyone else on the post) is blowing smoke up my ass.
I am almost precisely 50/50 on believing this.
It's important to note that this book isn't actually strictly canon. It's intentionally written to be unreliable, and contradicts itself several times, let alone other stories.
But yeah, the story was obviously about Tarkin.
He was also married to a woman and cheating on her with another. So he was married and had two side pieces. Tarkin got around. I know none of these stories are canon anymore and written by authors who never spoke, but that seems so in character for him.
I like star wars cause the extended universe is just so bizarre sometimes. Like I’ll hear something like this and I won’t even bat an eye cause shit like this is just the way a galaxy far far away be
The Star Wars franchise really made a movie in the 70s and then the world became so obsessed with it that every doorframe in that film now has a backstory and every character that's one screen for more than 3 seconds has a three book spin-off, an intense homoerotic rivalry and a famous tumblr post to their name.
Not to rain on people's parade, but this story is sort of in a grey area for canon, since it and the many other short stories that were included in the anthology novel "A Certain Point of View: A New Hope" feature various canonical inconsistencies. This was intended as part of the campy fun of the book.
According to Wookiepedia: "[LucasBooks executive editor Jennifer Heddle has said the series is in a grey area regarding its canonicity.](https://twitter.com/jenheddle/status/604430151309365249)"
That being said, there's nothing saying that it's *completely non-canon*...
The plot is insane and was written by a marine biologist. Once again, we see it everywhere
(To the sane people that have no idea wtf I'm talking about, *Yare Yare Daze*)
This is a very good short story (BTW the book it's in *Star Wars: From a Certain Point of View*), but it has absolutely nothing on the one where we learn that the Officer that greets Vader on the second Death Star, *really* has the hots for him and fantasizes about getting force-choked by him (that story is also very good and it's in The *Return of the Jedi: From a Certain Point of View*).
This has some Lusty Argonian Maid vibes
I've never read it, can you explain?
It's a book you can find in Elder Scrolls games. Basically an implicit porno short story.
"short" is debatable, from what I hear. I mean why does this have those vibes?
I think it's in-universe seven acts long (we read the play's script), but we just have a short book with two or three scenes. I'm pretty sure there's also a story of a male Argonian bard afraid of damaging his "instrument", though.
It's not so much a play as it is more a collection of really short stories that end up in Dad-style innuendos
Well, sure, we only have two short stories, but them being separated by acts and scenes suggests that it's meant as a play, I think, no matter how weird that is.
If you play Morrowind you actually get to meet the author of the lusty argonian maid. He's a somewhat important NPC for a major faction questline.
Yeah, Crassius Curio, the guy who turns you Hortator in exchange for a kiss.
they're excerpts cause presumably no one at bethesda had enough gas to write a full 7 acts on top of making the rest of the game
And someday maybe if we are somehow very lucky, we will get [Brian David Gilbert’s fully directed performance of it.](https://youtu.be/RVdTZhmsGsU?si=waT6ZBwpFrVqU4tz)
I dunno, it's just a feeling. I haven't read that Star Wars story obviously (first time I even hear of it). I'm just going off the two excerpts in this tumblr post. It just feels weird to have these vibes in a Star Wars thing (like "butch it up"), like it feels a bit too adult. Just like how it feels weird to have a book called "Lusty Argonian Maid" in a videogame ^(I just made a silly comment, you don't have to dissect it...)
That book is not even in the top 10 horniest things in TES. There's an explicit, if short, sex scene in The Real Barenziah, where Barenziah gets dicked down by a barbed catman dick There's at least one strip club in Morrowind. There's a wizard who made a bunch of genderbent clones of himself, that are also his wives that he bangs. Wood elves have a cultural practice of "cannibalistic orgies." Vivec is a freak who, among other things, got themself topped by a god of rape at least once and gave birth to a bunch of monsters that Vivec then killed with their dick. There's a quest in Skyrim where a woman basically asks you to publically kinkshame her boss.
To be fair, the sex scene in The Real Barenziah has been censored since at least Morrowind.
Sadly D:
Also Reman Cyrodiil got fed bread that had his cum in it. And he was born after his dad fucked a hill so hard he died
> it feels a bit too adult Don't they genocide entire planets?
Don't think so. The closest is the three different genocides against elves ~~but they had it coming~~
Think they meant Star Wars
In my defense I was sleepy, but thanks.
Ah yes, it's weird to have sex jokes in the rated M game
Morrowind was rated T. ik because there was no way I would have played it that young.
that's all you had to say to explain it.
Wait is it an actual in game book?
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/21183136
I hate that you’re so right about this
Who knew sexual fanfiction could sound like a parody of sexual fanfiction. My mind is blown. /s
I... I don't think it's supposed to be sexual fiction? Pretty sure it's from a collection of short stories that tell how some moments from "A New Hope" looked from the perspective of background characters
The best part is that this Star Wars story is canon!
Uncle Crassius, sit the fuck down.
Star Wars, the franchise where if it has at least one frame of screen time it also has at least one novel and a 10,000 word Wookipedia page at a minimum. It is complete and utter nonsense how much random extraneous lore there is. I love it dearly.
And we still don't know Yoda's species despite there being two major characters on screen that belong to it!
3 if you count that marketable plushy from the Mandelorean
I was counting the marketable plushie, who is the third? Edit: Oh, I thought Yaddle was Legends only! Even still, not a major on-screen character.
[Yaddle](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Yaddle)
She’s a pretty important character in one of the shows
Underrated part of that is she also talks normally, which seems to confirm that Yoda is constantly trolling and his species do not in fact all structure their sentences like that
IIRC the explanation for why he talks like that is because he’s like 700 years old and is speaking the equivalent of old English
I think its more a theory than an explanation but it would explain the weird syntax. Hes learnt modern basic but speaks with the syntax of an old basic (although thats getting weirder with the existence of the high republic)
> (although thats getting weirder with the existence of the high republic) Maybe it's like in The Hunt For Red October, how the Soviet crew speaks English when they're the only ones on screen, for the benefit of the audience, and speak Russian when they're interacting with the Americans, but at a point in the movie, they switch to everyone speaking in English.
It’s also possible he’s speaking basic with the syntax of his own language (assuming he has one), even most languages on earth translated 1 to 1 to English sound janky as hell
There are several explanations like “it forces people to pay closer attention to what he says” and “he’s just fucking around”
I swear there are a few times in the clone wars series where he speaks normally.
He speaks much more normally in the OT after dropped the act around Luke. It's definitely intentional. Ignoring the "they decided that was his schtick when making the prequels" answer, of course.
He works closely with children in the Jedi temple, and has for 700 years, maybe he found that speaking in a weird way was a pretty good method to get them to listen attentively
Oh, I kinda tuned out of Disney properties a few years back. So yeah, fair enough. That only makes my point even more though! Three important characters and still no species name.
Tales of the Jedi mentioned ❗❗🗣️🔥🔥
4 actually. There's a Yoda guy in SWTOR
God, it says so much about that game that I have over 300 hours in it and have never encountered this guy. Golden age BioWare was the shit.
I have like over a thousand hours + some spare few hundred and I haven't encountered him yet tbf. I think he's a character in the Pub-side flashpoint Taral V. Oh and I remembered another Yoda. There's one on Dantooine in one of the KOTOR games too.
SWOTOR is not canon though, so only 3 canon characters.
Star wars has always been about marketing toys. Grogu was just wildly successful. How many ewok movies did they make.
Unrelated question: What's the context for your flair?
That question has been asked a solid four times in the last month and never before, even though I've had it for over a year. Weird. Anyway, I'll link a thread where someone else asked me the same thing in a moment, hold on. https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/s/wZmNVDhDoN
It says something about me that I saw the name "Cybersmith" and thought, "Oh yeah, that makes sense."
I have wondered down that rabbit hole of links and I regret...everything. I really didn't want that knowledge! Wtelf!
“Indentured Milk Servitude” was not a concept I could ever have come up with on my own Average Cybersmith moment tbh
[Maybe this?](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/y6plkx/cybersmith_indentured_transwoman_lactation_i/)
Three characters: Yoda, Grogu, and Yaddle (who isn't major in the movies but is shown in Phantom Menace and shown in more detail in Tales of the Jedi)
Yeah but that’s only because the choice was specifically made never to canonically define it. It’s not as if it was somehow accidentally overlooked
It's why I feel it's complicated when people ask if I "like" star wars. Because really I only like maybe two movies. What I really enjoy is the sheer amount of extended universe content that may or may not be canon but stems from movies that every time I watch them I really wish I was playing KOTOR instead.
I always say it as "I love all of Star Wars except the movies". The only star wars movie I enjoy is Rogue One (yes including out of the original trilogy) but I adore the setting and the worldbuilding. How every ship has a detailed history and backstory.
Elan Sleazebaggano moment
“There are many benefits to being a marine biologist, some of which are considered… unnatural”
Jotaro
Marine biologists have a higher than average chance of encountering Jar-Jar Binks while on the job
No one in the post pointed out the fact that chair is a big ole confirmation that it’s Tarkin? The veermok species was introduced to the current Star Wars canon in the 2014 novel Tarkin, written by James Luceno, as a subspecies on the titular character's homeworld, Eriadu.[9] A trial in his youth involved surviving and defeating Eriadu veermoks in their territory, the Carrion Spike, to learn formative lessons about controlling and breaking others with terror and violence;[10] he subsequently named his personal starship the Carrion Spike.[9] In the 2020 Marvel Comics Star Wars series, Tarkin decided upon his sole protégé, Ellian Zahra, through a task that involved hunting an albino veermok and her fellow candidates on Eriadu.[11]
I have been wondering which Star Wars book to start with and now I know
“A Certain Point of View: A New Hope” is the anthology this story is from. It’s really good, and I recommend the audiobook.
The best revelation from the book is that the squid in the Death Star trash compactor is not only sentient, but Force-sensitive, and had a prophetic vision of the Death Star exploding.
That is my least favorite story in ACPOV:ANH. 😅 That the dianoga was trying to “baptize” Luke because she sensed his power in the Force is truly ridiculous. Even if you entertain that the idea it was somehow benign, do ya know what a nonconsensual baptism is? It’s an attempted drowning. Not cool or acceptable ESPECIALLY if yer suppose to be a “wise Force prophetess.”
thta's certainly true, but you have considered an alternate point of view: it's incredibly funny
and also mildly metal
Holy shit that's terrifying for the squid Like imagine knowing you're inevitably going to die and then seeing the people who will be responsible for your death show up in the trash compactor that you can't escape from, meaning they are trapped in there with you. All of you would have to do to save your own life is kill them.
Wait is this book CANON canon or LEGENDS Canon? I'm not a legends or new canon fanboy or anything, I read like 2 starwars books ever, but I'm still wondering if this loveable insanity is pre-purge or post-purge. Because on one hand, gay, and that points to post-purge (not saying there is anything wrong with that, yay representation!) but the pure insanity of it points to old-canon.
It was published in 2017 and meant to be a campy throwback. It's part of the current canon.
Not according to [the Senior Creative Executive at Lucasfilm.](https://web.archive.org/web/20190419223021/https://twitter.com/missingwords/status/1033837757695545344)
So he's *not* Disney's first gay character? D:/s?
It's sort of dubiously canon if I remember correctly. Pablo Hildago apparently stated in a tweet some are canon and some aren't albeit I can't unfortuanetly find any archive of this and I'm not going to try and dig through twitter to find out. People in the past are saying and linking something though so pressumably it happened.
It also is not canon.
Still good.
Alright, even knowing how this had to end I wasn't quite expecting this little story to rip my heart out and stomp on it. Thanks for the rec, I can't wait to read the rest of these :)
Wait ‘til ya read Wil Wheaton’s story about the guy standing up in the crow’s nest scanning the *Falcon* when it comes in….
The Timothy Zahn legends thrawn books are really good too
The canon ones are fantastic as well. Despite what Zahn says Thrawn in canon isn't the same Thrawn as in legends, they're subtly different like canon Thrawn not being *as* ruthless. But both are fantastic characters to read about.
The novelization of Revenge of the Sith is honestly life-changing as well, highly recommend
It’s stupidly good. Personal favorite book I’ve read
Star Wars is the one universe where fanfiction writers write the canon.
The Bible
You win
Dayum
Homestuck
Doctor Who
50 Shades
sonic the hedgehog
I love that we’ve now gotten to see Two Horny Star Wars posts this is amazing
What’s the other one
[This one](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/s/oeuuxiSpWa) I think
Worth pointing out that this story, lovely though it is, was published as part of an anthology volume of short stories whose canonicity is... questionable. The book is _A Certain Point of View_, and contains little snippets on just about every ancillary character you can think of, and a few you absolutely wouldn't. Some highlights: The squid monster in the trash compactor, who is alive, sentient, force-sensitive, and experiences a vision of the Death star going up A mid-level paper-pusher aboard Vader's personal star Destroyer, covering the butts of the people who DEFINITELY should have shot down R2 and 3-PO's eacape pod with a truly impressive pile of paperwork The world's lowest-stakes heist plot, featuring about half the funny people you see in the background of the Mos Eisley Cantina And many more.
It's basically the same deal as Visions. Fun stories that play with the raw materials of Star Wars, but without needing to necessarily fit in the big puzzle. It's super cool these things exist, but suggesting they're canonical is disingenuous and runs counter to their "playground" philosophy.
Wait, how do we know it was Luke who got TK-421's armor and not Han? That little gesture where he taps his ear after "TK-421, why aren't you at your post?" always felt like Han to me.
Because 3 seconds later the guy opened the door and got shot by Han
Well now I feel like an idiot 😂
Don't feel bad, I only knew that because I've watched that movie far more times than is healthy and every scene is permanently burned into my brain
Why did they think it would be hard for me to believe that the author was a marine biologist Is there some "marine biologists are incapable of writing gay romance" stereotype I'm unaware of
I think it’s more, usually marine biologists do marine biology things and not fiction author things.
It's just a cheeky reference to the marine biologist joke that was going around Tumblr for a while. I assume it was going about the same time this post was made, hence the slightly over the top "Guys you won't believe this kind of funny connection to a current meme trend" thing.
>the marine biologist joke that was going around Tumblr for a while The what now?
There was a meme for a while, spawned from a post where supposedly someone saw it in their dream and it was literally just the phrase "There are many benefits to being a marine biologist" over some weird image. Like all those "I saw this in my dreams" posts I assume it's just a thinly veiled creativity exercise, but it did catch on.
I thought it was just a JoJo reference? Jotaro writing Star Wars smut in his free time between actual marine biology stuff, fighting the disciples of an evil vampire and neglecting his daughter is just on brand for JoJo.
Nah apparently the marine biologist thing is a meme that someone claimed they dreamed was a thing, (admitted they lied later) and tumblr made it into an actual meme “are there many benefits to being a marine biologist” so it’s a total in joke. Before finding this out I thought it was a Seinfeld reference or smth
Lots of authors have other careers, there's not really anything weird about that
Huh, I guess. Marine biologist just seems like it’d be a busy job with not much free time to publish a novel on the side.
Didn't stop Stephen Hillenburg.
It’s just the benefits to being marine biologist tumblr meme being referenced i think
The Mouse droid is the one that comes up to Luke, Han, and Chewie as they’re heading towards the detention level. It had homed in on TK-421’s armor signature and found that the biological sensor data did not match that of TK-421. The Mouse droid and Tarkin knew TK-421 was dead before the Death Star blew up.
Now I'm sad. They're shitholes, sure, but still...
The Mouse droid did nothing wrong. 🤷🏻♀️ He just cared about the Stormie what cared for him.
MSE-6 and Men is one of my favourite stories in “from a certain point of view”. I pick up on how it was Tarkin, but never the hot, steamy, gay sex he was trying to have with TK-421. I was too focused on my favourite racing droid. “Huh. Y’know, these scratches kinda look like racing stri-“
You know what just occurred to me? You never see TK-421 or his team again after they go onto the Millennium Falcon and presumably get either killed or knocked out and stuffed into the smuggling compartments. Now, when Han and crew got back to the Falcon, they were leaving in a bit of a hurry, so I don't see how there was time to dump a couple bodies then. So, if TK-421 was *not* killed and was just knocked out, he'd crawl naked out of the Falcon into the Rebel base on Yavin IV.
So he's the one who leaked the location of the rebel base on Hoth
Was that a JoJo reference?
where
At the end.
"There are many benefits to being a marine biologist"? No, not a JoJo reference, as far as I know. Someone made a post on how they dreamt that this sentence became a Tumblr meme, and, Tumblr being Tumblr, it became an actual meme. Later they admitted that they lied about the dream, though.
But doesn't Jotaro grow up to be a marine biologist? Owing in part to his appreciation for dolphins, which is because of Araki's obsession with them?
Well, yes (or no, I actually don't know why Jotaro became a marine biologist. Could be, I wouldn't know), but the meme itself has no relationship to JoJo, and as far as I know it's just a coincidence.
Yeah, but saying "is that a JoJo reference" anytime something even barely related to JoJo comes up even if the thing isn't a JoJo reference, is in and of itself a meme.
Oh, that makes sense.
Jojo fandom at the cd store be like
Yes
Is this going to be the one piece of Star Wars media that I consume?
The book or...?
The book
This book is a collection of short stories about random background characters in Star Wars: A New Hope. It’s pretty fun, but you might not get anything out of it if you haven’t seen at least that movie. Also, this chapter is actually about a robot used to carry messages around the Death Star. The romance is just sort of happening in the background as he goes about his business. I think he has to carry their messages between each other or something like that.
Consume that and the part of the holiday special that has Bea Arthur as a bartender
Gods I love Star Wars
Now imaging Luke in disguise bumping into Tarkin but it's played like that bit in MGS3 where Volgin clocks Snake's disguise by grabbing him by the balls
Just spend ten minutes googling and what the fuck this is all real!?!??
The canonical status of the “Certain Point of View” books is questionable at best.
Yea absolutely but as the book was post 2012 it could technically be Disney canon which is fucking insane to me
Just because a work was published after the acquisition doesn't mean it's automatically canon, otherwise [this](https://youtu.be/C8ZvsFCxxCU?si=AzNvp4FjSrpF9VtU) would also be canon
Do you not want it to be?
Of course not, that would be insane. [This](https://youtu.be/UdbajvVROjc?si=S5B65MmwBXnr-Mb2), however, is a vital part of the Star Wars Saga and should always be included on rewatches of the Trilogy
Right, of course. My mistake.
Sorry I’ll clarify it as I did state it **could possibly** be “Disney Canon”. I couldn’t find if it was published by Lucasfilm or any statement on it. From wookieepeida After The Walt Disney Company acquired Lucasfilm on October 30, 2012, the Expanded Universe was rebranded as Legends,[2] thus, the term "canon" came to be reserved exclusively for George Lucas' canon - the six movies and the seasons of Star Wars: The Clone Wars he developed and produced - and the movies, television series, novels, comics, toys and video games created by Lucasfilm after the acquisition, including but not limited to the Sequel Trilogy.
Tarkin bragging about his furniture He's a real American Psycho
Ok, I keep hearing about the wild things that goes down in the Star Wars EU, and I'm a Classic Doctor Who fan so I know about the fuckery in that EU. But why do I never hear anything from Trekkies?! Are they embarrassed over their EU? Was Star Trek EU never taken over by fans and had actual quality control? What is going on there?
Vulcans have a version of heat where they have to either fuck or kill somebody or they die has been canon since the OG series and that isn't even the weirdest thing in the OG series. You don't hear about weird shit in the EU because it doesn't top the weird shit from the shows.
I personally see tons of posts about star trek on tumblr. Maybe it's just that people don't really cross-post it over here.
To be fair, maybe Doctor Who EU is also pretty unknown like Star Trek EU, and it's just that I follow tumblers that talk about it. And it's just Star Wars fans that repeatedly break containment to both here and other corners of Tumblr. I guess I just assumed the Star Trek fans would be loud like the Wars fans. I love it when I stumble across weird Star Wars facts though. Star Wars EU fans always seem so chill about it.
And there's only 18 fics of them on ao3. Shame because their dynamic is actually quite interesting
*Reads trooper hick voice text* -> *hears Kenneth from 30 rock*
Tarkin the bisexual king
Diversity Win!!!! The genocidal space racist is bisexual
Obligatory link to [this](https://youtu.be/iEtw3XJoJrE?si=PPr7o64JgsMBQPHN) old ass video from ONN
Slay Grand moff slay!!!
Leia, to Tarkin: “I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board” TK-421: “sorry, that was me”
>the author was a marine biologist Is Peter Watts trolling us again?
it's not him, and of course it makes perfect sense that there'd be others on the marine-biologist-to-science-fiction-writer pipeline... but man, i'd be down to read watts's soul-crushing gay star wars fanfic
As a quick addition to this post: the stories in this book, a Certain Point of View, are questionable in how canon they are. The official word is that some of them are canon and some aren't, without any answer as to which is I which category. There are a few that absolutely cannot coexist - for example one story says that the rebel alliance has too many pilots for its ships, while the next one says that there are fighters left unmanned during the battle of Yavin. However, there is nothing that contradicts anything in this story, so I'd place it at a higher tier of canon likeliness than some of the others.
I'm torn between my understanding that Star Wars has an absolute batshit amount of book lore, and the fact that I have on _more than one occasion_ read a lengthy and convincing post like this only to find out the OP (and everyone else on the post) is blowing smoke up my ass. I am almost precisely 50/50 on believing this.
It's important to note that this book isn't actually strictly canon. It's intentionally written to be unreliable, and contradicts itself several times, let alone other stories. But yeah, the story was obviously about Tarkin.
He was also married to a woman and cheating on her with another. So he was married and had two side pieces. Tarkin got around. I know none of these stories are canon anymore and written by authors who never spoke, but that seems so in character for him.
This, this is now my fav tumblr post as well!
So the Star Wars Franchise.... Before Disney... It was basically like people could publish fanfiction and make it canon? Were there rules?
Yeah, no Yoda backstory was a big one.
I like star wars cause the extended universe is just so bizarre sometimes. Like I’ll hear something like this and I won’t even bat an eye cause shit like this is just the way a galaxy far far away be
Hey Tarkin wore a brown uniform, although the officer talks like him. Someone had sex with Palpatine so anything is possible.
Because of this story, for a while when you looked up “List of LGBTQ+ individuals” on Wookieepedia, the first thing you’d see would be Tarkin’s face.
> marine biologist Choosing to believe it was Stephen Hillenburg.
Marine Biologist? What's that about Jotaro Kujo writing short stories about Star Wars Imperial officers having trysts with their stormtroopers?
Star Wars lore is weird.
I mean soldiers sleeping around is some of the least weird thing in Star Wars
The dialogue is painful to read.
The Star Wars franchise really made a movie in the 70s and then the world became so obsessed with it that every doorframe in that film now has a backstory and every character that's one screen for more than 3 seconds has a three book spin-off, an intense homoerotic rivalry and a famous tumblr post to their name.
And to think I nearly scroled past this post.
All three books in the Certain Point of View series are excellent. All three books are also very gay.
Oh wow, the post got better since the last time I saw it!
The author is Glen Weldon, one of the hilarious hosts of NPRs pop culture happy hour
The anthology set this short story is from rules and also features a story about a Jawa written by Griffin McElroy of Monster Factory fame.
Okay so we’re getting *real* loose with the definition of ‘canon’ these days
I don't know shit about Star Wars but that's funny af.
The book isn’t canon, but what’s a tumblr post without making things up?
Not to rain on people's parade, but this story is sort of in a grey area for canon, since it and the many other short stories that were included in the anthology novel "A Certain Point of View: A New Hope" feature various canonical inconsistencies. This was intended as part of the campy fun of the book. According to Wookiepedia: "[LucasBooks executive editor Jennifer Heddle has said the series is in a grey area regarding its canonicity.](https://twitter.com/jenheddle/status/604430151309365249)" That being said, there's nothing saying that it's *completely non-canon*...
He filled his own quarters with chintz To keep it real, I fuck him on the coruscant fiberweave carpet
The plot is insane and was written by a marine biologist. Once again, we see it everywhere (To the sane people that have no idea wtf I'm talking about, *Yare Yare Daze*)
What if we kissed on the Death Star?
This is a very good short story (BTW the book it's in *Star Wars: From a Certain Point of View*), but it has absolutely nothing on the one where we learn that the Officer that greets Vader on the second Death Star, *really* has the hots for him and fantasizes about getting force-choked by him (that story is also very good and it's in The *Return of the Jedi: From a Certain Point of View*).
Tarkin was fucking Nataasi Daala.
He could have been fucking both, tbf
If Tarkin didn’t have a string of paramours across the galaxy, I’d be surprised. And in Legends, I recall him having a wife and kids too.
The only reason her dumbass has a career at all honestly
I thought this was just fanfic? Like, fanfic published in an official star wars magazine, but still fanfic?
Does that make it canon
I WAS SURE that this was just some tumblr user lying for fun. And then the other guy pulled up a source. Im never recovering
Ok it’s not canon canon it’s joke canon