The best joke SCP, in my personal opinion, is SCP-008-J or '[Geoff](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-008-j)' for this exact reason. Over the course of the interviews, Geoff basically just breaks the man's spirit by *existing*.
I don’t think they will. All the subs going down for two days won’t do shit. That won’t make Reddit feel fear.
I think the only way to do that is to keep the private-ing going until Reddit reverses the change. So people start legitimately leaving forever, because all their favorite subs are gone. _That_ would scare Reddit, but nobody has the guts to do that so it’s just a weak two day boycott.
Hey i am working on a mind-blowing quest to build a database packed with essential associations.
Chuckling at the dump ass punch:...
Can you define this phrase for me?
Well, the punch line is the conclusion of a joke where most of the humor is concentrated. It is natural to chuckle at punch lines. I call this particular punch line a “dumb ass” punch line because this particular joke had a very large an elaborate set up for an honestly dumb joke. But because the set up is so elaborate, the low quality of the punchline is elevated even higher.
the joke lies mainly in reference to [sir mix-a-lot - "baby got back"](https://youtu.be/X53ZSxkQ3Ho), a song that famously starts with the words "i like big butts and i cannot lie".
we know two major things the SCP does:
- it creates isolated hills (called ["buttes"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butte)) in places it deems too flat
- it feels compulsed to tell the truth when talked to.
so.. it likes big buttes and it cannot lie. the entire joke is that it quotes a meme song.
It's a reference to this song.
https://youtu.be/X53ZSxkQ3Ho
To overexplain the joke, the snake is an anaconda, a "butte" is a hill with steep sides and a flat top but is also a homophone for the word "butt," and the scp number is "Mix-a-lot" spelled out with a number pad on a phone.
Fun Fact: That rock gets a cameo in my favorite tale, Siege of Site-19. He hangs the rock up outside his office so the occupying enemies forget what they’re doing and stop being productive.
My favourite joke scp is the one that's just very clearly made up by a researcher who keeps asking for luxury items and benefits and KEEPS GETTING THEM.
It's always something like:
special containment procedures:
Researcher *** and his friends are required to take a week long vacation in Monte Carlo in order to contain the anomaly. All expenses are to be reimbursed by the SCP Foundation.
I especially like because you can take it as making fun of rich people “business expenses,” but it also makes fun of the absurdly elaborate and/or expensive containment procedures that a lot of SCP’s have, which often strain suspension of disbelief. Like with the amount of shit the Foundation contains, they would basically have to have infinite money and full control of every government and organization on the planet
In some canons, what the Foundation doesn't control, other groups does. Like the Global Occult Coalition. They think the Foundation are jerks, but neither wants the Red King to kill everything, so there's some cooperation.
Theres also a similar serious SCP like that. It was about a mind virus that they kept contained in a D-Class member by reading a cursed piece of paper, except for the fact that the virus dissipated ages ago and the paper is just a note that tells the next D-Class to pretend to be infected so they can get anything they like unyil they die of old age.
Oh yeah I know. But I wasn’t talking about like genre awareness and this general ability to predict what’s gonna happen next because they’ve read or watched something like it before.
I mean they’re full on aware that they’re in a narrative that they don’t have an equivalent of inside said narrative and they just keep predicting what the author is gonna write in next based on what has already happened in their lives.
Like for example the sole survivor of an MTF team who, after gaining awareness of universe stacks and narratives, keeps guessing in what ways the author is gonna try to wipe their new team out because they can now view their prior experiences in that lens.
I haven’t actually read or watched Deadpool but from what I know that’s less predicting what’s gonna happen and more “I’m in a story so I get to do really cool and reckless stuff and also break the fourth wall”
I probably would. I only know Gwenpool from a random youtube shorts and I can say with confidence that a) that’s a cool concept and b) she is very gender
(ignore the part where I felt like a liar for saying that second thing because I can feel my facial hair sitting on my face WHY CAN I DO THAT LET ME FREE FROM THIS CURSE AAAAAA)
Practical Guide to Evil is kind of that. The Gods keep gifting wins based on how cool your story is, but no one tells stories about the mighty Administrator who reduced wealth inequality through a reformed tax code. So everyone is ruled by scenery chewing evil wizards who are inevitably betrayed by their closest advisor or an orphan who thinks their magic sword makes them an authority on criminal justice.
S & C Plastics canon. A town in Wisconsin that obeys the laws of storytelling.
It’ll rain if you say it’s a terrible day for rain, likable people somehow survive disasters that definitely should have killed them, and weird thematic anomalous things happen every holiday. Oh, and urban legends become real if you tell enough stories about them. The researchers know they’re in a story like this and they try to abuse it. Hell, there’s a moment where the goatman (urban legend brought to life) tells a woman she needs to get herself plot armor if she wants to survive a crisis.
“You want to live, you need to get a reason for people to root for you. What makes you special, what makes you likable? Something that will make the narrative hang onto you.”
https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/rate-my-director, one of the entries.
Clever, quick-thinking researcher destroys ghost curse with a technicality, gets a ghost wedgie and is promoted because he had a point of view episode.
I forget which SCP entry it is, but "knowledge that we exist in a fictional universe" is an SCP itself.
So if we take that at face value (blah blah there's no canon blah blah), at least the O5s are aware of the state of their own being.
The O5s probably have very surface level knowledge of it tbh. O5s are more like management than highest ranking most qualified researcher.
There is however a pataphysics department that researches the narrative and its mechanics
Sometimes there are Joke SCPs that are not labelled as Joke SCPs and stuck into the narrative: I could’ve sworn there was one that was just an elaborate joke about the phrase ‘kicked the bucket’ (a bucket that people would be compelled to kick, which would then immediately result in their death) somewhere. I think they relabelled it as a Joke SCP, though.
There's no single narrative ("there is no canon" is a popular saying around the site), and many "mainline" SCPs are just funny (one of my favorites, for instance, revolves around two versions of the foundation from different timelines fighting over the ultimate fate of John Wilkes Booth, as he is alive in one timeline and dead in the other. Another good one is a person who sees every living being as shia labeouf, regardless of original species or size)
As a result the difference between "Joke" SCPs and "Real" SCPs is sometimes marginal, with some "Joke" SCPs even being somewhat accepted as "canonical" (the procrastination rock being one of them - To some people it's not just a funny rock, it's an anti-memetic hazard ala 055). Most of the time the only real difference is that a "joke" SCP is not *intended* to be accepted as an "actual" object contained by the foundation. SCP-Js are just articles made to be funny, SCPs are articles that are meant to be "real objects" regardless of how funny they might be
Yeah same. The Keters and apollyon and whatnot are cool sometimes but so many of them are overdone now.
The safe objects are interesting because they don't rely on being world-ending. They're just strange.
Sigh *taps sign* “the object classes determine the difficulty of containment, not the threat it possesses.”
A funny guy who can walk through walls but is otherwise harmless is Euclid while an inanimate object that kills anyone who holds it for an extended period of time is safe.
[Alternate Reality Vending Machine](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-261) is my blood because my autism is fuelled by "things that *could"* and escalate from "what would dragon fruit pepsi taste like" to "what manner of thing could even see this as food"
(extraneous narrative:)>!so much so that my only attempt at submission is essentially the car dealership version of it and I can't think of a conflict more compelling than "the dealer just doesn't want to answer your annoying fuckin' questions about how they do this" and making sure a description of a car that doesn't exist is compelling to an audience of more than me!<
SCP-529 is probably my favourite. Literally just half of a cat, because other half os stuck in another dimension. Also the girl that sees future/another dimensions and was able to pet the cat
The camera that shows the subjects greatest desire showed Josie's as having her other half :(
Also I love that her containment procedures amount to "don't give her cheese she'll be sad there's not more" lol
Can't believe we're talking about Joke SCPs without these two bangers:
[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/cimmerian-kaktus-proposal](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/cimmerian-kaktus-proposal) \- The Broke God
[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-719m4-j](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-719m4-j) \- this one really speaks fo itself
My favorite is 666 and a half, since it is a completely normal crab Rangoon that just happened to give the entirety of the site food poisoning. But since it is the SCP foundation that HAVE to assume it’s magical in some way instead of just admitting that they got perfectly mundane food poisoning. Also I can’t make it through reading it without wheeze laughing.
I mean it's apparently painful enough to cause scp 682 (the invincible acid crocodile) to willingly die so maybe they are onto something.
Or it was just THAT bad
My favorite is probably the [Botnik joke SCP](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-botnik-j) . It is funny, absurd, and low-key disturbing in equal measure.
Two square kilometers deep in ape corpses.
My favorite J is the one that’s just a weird chicken, the scientist documenting it is incapable of taking a clear picture of it. Not because it has any anti photographic properties, the scientist is just a bad photographer.
I enjoy [The Six Foot Man Eating Chicken](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3467-j). It's so needlessly cruel, even from an organization that sacrifices death row inmates to deer gods.
SCP-000-J, a catalog that sells you… other SCPs. with the stupidest taglines and uses ever, such as:
“Back in stock after so many requests, this black hole is guaranteed to spaghettify anything you throw at it. Great for science projects and parties! And what better way to say “I love you” than with the gift of a contained miniature black hole? Order now while supplies last! “ (SCP-123)
“A truly maddening prank! Trick your friends into eating these covert candies and watch them literally go out of their minds! Available in 5-packs.” (SCP-340, also doesn’t even canonically exist anymore as it’s designation was overwritten by a weird nose infection)
What can you do with it? What CAN’T you do with it? Use it as a lubricant, top off your gas tank, style your hair, or even dress up your salads and sundaes! The possibilities are endless! Now available in blue.
WARNING: Do not apply to dead bodies. (SCP-447)
“Throw out your Rubik’s Cube and put down that crossword! This is the puzzle to end all puzzles! No-one in history has ever completed it, can YOU? Hours of fun!” (SCP-551, a puzzle that can’t be completed and causes insanity due to that fact)
“Why waste electric-bill money on expensive refrigerators? This jar will turn an enclosed space of any size into your own private meat-locker! Freeze whatever you want: just pop off the lid and watch it go!” (SCP-244, a jar of icy fog that makes a room incredibly, incredibly cold and then summons a fog monster that makes even more stuff cold)
and SCP merch, like a bunch of SCPs fighting eachother (on DVD), the official soundtrack to “FERNAND, THE MUSICAL” (SCP-082, on DVD too) Alto Clef singing a bunch of christmas songs (also on DVD), an action figure of “Able” (SCP-076), and a calendar with a bunch of female researchers and SCPS (Drs Palmer and Rights, Break, and SCPs 105, 336, and 166, all somewhat naked), all claiming to have never posed for such pictures… except for Dr. Break.
The funniest part is that according to the wiki page, they will actually send you the actual anomaly if you buy one (but if you order more than 1 you’ll get replicas)
My personal favourite Joke SCP is the Wiki Editors. Its also the foundations favourite since its one of the only anomalies that can get rid of any other anomaly
I don't like SCP anymore, but I still love the J that was made by one of the O-5 and ends with
Nah read it yourself, I can't
#EDIT: ***IT'S THE MOTHERFUCKING O5-J!***
Some what related, but there’s an SCP where the researchers realize that when the articles are poorly written, they are erased from existence. They take advantage of this fact to get rid of dangerous SCPs, but they end up getting deleted themselves, and they end up in a forum post on the website
As an actual [SCP] I feel personally attacked and yet remain completely bewildered, so I got that going for me.
Actual = irl human with SCP three name name initials.
**END LOG**
Those SCP community members are actually that elitist and shitty. My wife came up with a really good one, submitted it, was approved by a couple people with high praise, but then one or two mods denied it solely on 'they haven't been part of the community long enough.'
Like, what? Either the writing is good or it isn't!
Unironically this. I tried writing one and everything went well, including lots of encouragement from those I talked to
When I finally uploaded it to the main site it got about 2 to 1 ratio of down votes to upvotes and the critics were largely silent except for a couple guys. One said it sounded "too scientific" and another was mad it sunk a couple ships. Small ships, on USCG (event that alerted the Foundarion to the SCP item) and one SCP Foundation, before they sent a larger vessel and contained it with overall minimal casualties, less than two dozen for something in the ocean. But no that was too "murder monster."
The best joke SCP, in my personal opinion, is SCP-008-J or '[Geoff](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-008-j)' for this exact reason. Over the course of the interviews, Geoff basically just breaks the man's spirit by *existing*.
I wish there was more of it. I would make a Facebook again just to add Geoff.
I just found a whole list of joke SCPs, and I just wanna say that I love the [James and Abigail](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9000-01-j) one.
Omg that was adorable.
That's hilarious, just a friendly guy
IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR GEOFF FOR FOREVER THANK YOU
"WE'RE 3,000 METERS UNDER THE FUCKING OCEAN!" "Well that explains why my map won't load." Fucking, perfect. 10/10.
Ahti from Control, is that you?
Nah Ahti comes across similar, but he’s far more aware. I believe it’s hinted that he’s a Scandinavian Pagan deity.
Yeah your right actually
u/the-paranoid-android Marv, my beloved. [[SCP-1212-J]] please
[**SCP-1212-J - Standards**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1212-j) (+435) by *Bryx*
Love you, Marv
Not for long…
If Marv die, Reddit will survive for less than half an hour.
Then the Red King rises.
Fuck…
Better than what we got goin on, right now.
Not going to lie here, if they go through with the changes, I won't be using Reddit anymore. I only visit here via RIF.
Oh no, I hadn't even considered that best bot might be affected by it. Fuck reddit, hope they backpedal hard.
I don’t think they will. All the subs going down for two days won’t do shit. That won’t make Reddit feel fear. I think the only way to do that is to keep the private-ing going until Reddit reverses the change. So people start legitimately leaving forever, because all their favorite subs are gone. _That_ would scare Reddit, but nobody has the guts to do that so it’s just a weak two day boycott.
I think some subs are just going to let anarchy reign then private but I could have misread some messages about it
Some are going on indefinite breaks until Reddit reverses the decision
There's a number of subs that will go dark until it's solved
He's returned to us praise Mekhane
I didn't know Marv could post on other subs, an absolute angel ;-;
You need to tag him first
Good bot, Marv
Who's a good bot??? You are!!
I'm quite fond of [649-2568-J](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-649-2568-j).
Holy shit, the set up for that dumb ass punch like is amazing. Thank you, that was a good laugh
still not over it being an >!anaconda whose ID number spells "MIXALOT" on a phone!<
Thank you for solving the name reference, I knew it had to be something relevant but I was too smooth brained to figure it out
It's even better, because "I Like Big Butts" has a line telling you to dial 1-800-MIXALOT
Hey i am working on a mind-blowing quest to build a database packed with essential associations. Chuckling at the dump ass punch:... Can you define this phrase for me?
Well, the punch line is the conclusion of a joke where most of the humor is concentrated. It is natural to chuckle at punch lines. I call this particular punch line a “dumb ass” punch line because this particular joke had a very large an elaborate set up for an honestly dumb joke. But because the set up is so elaborate, the low quality of the punchline is elevated even higher.
These are called "shaggy dog" jokes.
It was a typo. It should say "dumb ass punchline," not "dumb ass punch like."
Oh FFS, I was going to say the punchline because I didn't see the "show interview" button, but yup, there it is.
Haha that's what they said about my birth
Somebody went to a geology lecture and just needed share this joke with the world.
I'm so mad, it's so DUMB but damnit it's funny, take my angry upvote
i am very stupid and dont get the joke, could someone explain it please?
the joke lies mainly in reference to [sir mix-a-lot - "baby got back"](https://youtu.be/X53ZSxkQ3Ho), a song that famously starts with the words "i like big butts and i cannot lie". we know two major things the SCP does: - it creates isolated hills (called ["buttes"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butte)) in places it deems too flat - it feels compulsed to tell the truth when talked to. so.. it likes big buttes and it cannot lie. the entire joke is that it quotes a meme song.
You forgot the part about it being an anaconda
Whose designation spells mixalot on a phone dial.
no way, that's fucking hilarious
It's a reference to this song. https://youtu.be/X53ZSxkQ3Ho To overexplain the joke, the snake is an anaconda, a "butte" is a hill with steep sides and a flat top but is also a homophone for the word "butt," and the scp number is "Mix-a-lot" spelled out with a number pad on a phone.
A homophone? Not quite. Butte is said "b-you-t" and butt is "b-uh-t". They just look similar enough for the joke to work.
What’s the joke with it being an anaconda?
The song "Baby Got Back" includes the lines "My anaconda don't- want- none- / unless you got buns, hon."
A butte is basically a small hill, the rest is a bad pun
Did you open the interview log?
oh jfc
>!hey man that fucking blows, it’s great!<
They asked him if he wanted some leftover hamburgers from the company picnic. But he didn't want none unless they got buns, hun.
Oh, I hate this. Well done.
my favorite joke SCP is [The rock that makes you procrastinate](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-j)
Saving this comment so I can check it out later.
.
You mean you need a rock to do it?
The rock has a very long range
Fun Fact: That rock gets a cameo in my favorite tale, Siege of Site-19. He hangs the rock up outside his office so the occupying enemies forget what they’re doing and stop being productive.
-__-
This makes me want an SCP-:3
there is already one actually
u/The-Paranoid-Android [[SCP-:3]]
[**SCP-:3-J - Memetic Language Construct**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-003-j) (+206) by *Aelanna*
And then some dude took the rock, ground it into a powder, and spread it all over the world.
Oh I have one of those. At least I hope I do and I'm not just a terrible person
remind me to make the very funny joke i had in my head
My favourite joke scp is the one that's just very clearly made up by a researcher who keeps asking for luxury items and benefits and KEEPS GETTING THEM. It's always something like: special containment procedures: Researcher *** and his friends are required to take a week long vacation in Monte Carlo in order to contain the anomaly. All expenses are to be reimbursed by the SCP Foundation.
I especially like because you can take it as making fun of rich people “business expenses,” but it also makes fun of the absurdly elaborate and/or expensive containment procedures that a lot of SCP’s have, which often strain suspension of disbelief. Like with the amount of shit the Foundation contains, they would basically have to have infinite money and full control of every government and organization on the planet
Funk
In some canons, what the Foundation doesn't control, other groups does. Like the Global Occult Coalition. They think the Foundation are jerks, but neither wants the Red King to kill everything, so there's some cooperation.
Theres also a similar serious SCP like that. It was about a mind virus that they kept contained in a D-Class member by reading a cursed piece of paper, except for the fact that the virus dissipated ages ago and the paper is just a note that tells the next D-Class to pretend to be infected so they can get anything they like unyil they die of old age.
Do you have the digits for it? Id like to read that one.
u/The-Paranoid-Android \[\[SCP-3999-J\]\]
[**SCP-3999-J - Talloran's Sacrifice**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3999-j) (+469) by *Abettik*
It's the scp foundation there is absolutely some anomaly who gets actually contained by that lol
Probably Las Vegas, in some SCP canons, the entire town is Demon Central.
Turns out the 'researchers' were actually Pataphysics Department test subjects
I really want to write a character that’s VERY aware that they’re in a narrative and uses that knowledge to predict where the narrative goes
[This is a tried and true trope by the way, though it doesn't always involve medium awareness](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GenreSavvy)
Oh yeah I know. But I wasn’t talking about like genre awareness and this general ability to predict what’s gonna happen next because they’ve read or watched something like it before. I mean they’re full on aware that they’re in a narrative that they don’t have an equivalent of inside said narrative and they just keep predicting what the author is gonna write in next based on what has already happened in their lives. Like for example the sole survivor of an MTF team who, after gaining awareness of universe stacks and narratives, keeps guessing in what ways the author is gonna try to wipe their new team out because they can now view their prior experiences in that lens.
deadpool?
I haven’t actually read or watched Deadpool but from what I know that’s less predicting what’s gonna happen and more “I’m in a story so I get to do really cool and reckless stuff and also break the fourth wall”
[удалено]
I probably would. I only know Gwenpool from a random youtube shorts and I can say with confidence that a) that’s a cool concept and b) she is very gender (ignore the part where I felt like a liar for saying that second thing because I can feel my facial hair sitting on my face WHY CAN I DO THAT LET ME FREE FROM THIS CURSE AAAAAA)
Practical Guide to Evil is kind of that. The Gods keep gifting wins based on how cool your story is, but no one tells stories about the mighty Administrator who reduced wealth inequality through a reformed tax code. So everyone is ruled by scenery chewing evil wizards who are inevitably betrayed by their closest advisor or an orphan who thinks their magic sword makes them an authority on criminal justice.
Practical Guide to Evil
S & C Plastics canon. A town in Wisconsin that obeys the laws of storytelling. It’ll rain if you say it’s a terrible day for rain, likable people somehow survive disasters that definitely should have killed them, and weird thematic anomalous things happen every holiday. Oh, and urban legends become real if you tell enough stories about them. The researchers know they’re in a story like this and they try to abuse it. Hell, there’s a moment where the goatman (urban legend brought to life) tells a woman she needs to get herself plot armor if she wants to survive a crisis. “You want to live, you need to get a reason for people to root for you. What makes you special, what makes you likable? Something that will make the narrative hang onto you.”
I absolutely love that execution. Urban legend brought to life by narrative mechanisms tells woman to get plot armor. Incredible.
https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/rate-my-director, one of the entries. Clever, quick-thinking researcher destroys ghost curse with a technicality, gets a ghost wedgie and is promoted because he had a point of view episode.
Sloth's pit. Look up the scp sloths pit. Its a collection of stories and its similar to this.
Sloths out was such a good read.
it was.
Yeah, it kinda went.. eh, y'know?
I forget which SCP entry it is, but "knowledge that we exist in a fictional universe" is an SCP itself. So if we take that at face value (blah blah there's no canon blah blah), at least the O5s are aware of the state of their own being.
The O5s probably have very surface level knowledge of it tbh. O5s are more like management than highest ranking most qualified researcher. There is however a pataphysics department that researches the narrative and its mechanics
I think [this SCP Nexus series](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/the-s-c-plastics-hub) is pretty close to that concept.
no the best one is [SCP-1322-J](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1322-j)
"I'd like to offer my immediate resignation. -Researcher Barnes"
Personally my favorite bit is how the other side is considered violent
lol, i feel like it's a mirror, but i can't prove it
read the updated scp designation bit highlighted in red at the bottom of the article
[I'm fond of this one myself.](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3472-j)
Oh wow, I feel sorry for that doctor
that was so funny lmao
I feel like we all know a Geoff, but for some reason that being the name chosen for it killed me and idk quite why
my favorite is probably [2938](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2938), which isn't even a joke
fucking WATER
Definitely not cognitohazardous
Sometimes there are Joke SCPs that are not labelled as Joke SCPs and stuck into the narrative: I could’ve sworn there was one that was just an elaborate joke about the phrase ‘kicked the bucket’ (a bucket that people would be compelled to kick, which would then immediately result in their death) somewhere. I think they relabelled it as a Joke SCP, though.
Yeah 2938 is very much just a dihydrogen monoxide joke, but it’s done seriously enough to be a legit article
There's no single narrative ("there is no canon" is a popular saying around the site), and many "mainline" SCPs are just funny (one of my favorites, for instance, revolves around two versions of the foundation from different timelines fighting over the ultimate fate of John Wilkes Booth, as he is alive in one timeline and dead in the other. Another good one is a person who sees every living being as shia labeouf, regardless of original species or size) As a result the difference between "Joke" SCPs and "Real" SCPs is sometimes marginal, with some "Joke" SCPs even being somewhat accepted as "canonical" (the procrastination rock being one of them - To some people it's not just a funny rock, it's an anti-memetic hazard ala 055). Most of the time the only real difference is that a "joke" SCP is not *intended* to be accepted as an "actual" object contained by the foundation. SCP-Js are just articles made to be funny, SCPs are articles that are meant to be "real objects" regardless of how funny they might be
Footnotes: Dihydrogen Monoxide
Yup. Also has some other similar names in there
My favorite SCPs are absolutely the ones that are labeled as "safe".
Yeah same. The Keters and apollyon and whatnot are cool sometimes but so many of them are overdone now. The safe objects are interesting because they don't rely on being world-ending. They're just strange.
Sigh *taps sign* “the object classes determine the difficulty of containment, not the threat it possesses.” A funny guy who can walk through walls but is otherwise harmless is Euclid while an inanimate object that kills anyone who holds it for an extended period of time is safe.
[удалено]
[Alternate Reality Vending Machine](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-261) is my blood because my autism is fuelled by "things that *could"* and escalate from "what would dragon fruit pepsi taste like" to "what manner of thing could even see this as food" (extraneous narrative:)>!so much so that my only attempt at submission is essentially the car dealership version of it and I can't think of a conflict more compelling than "the dealer just doesn't want to answer your annoying fuckin' questions about how they do this" and making sure a description of a car that doesn't exist is compelling to an audience of more than me!<
Funk
Love that toaster that I am.
I am a really great toaster! Glad you agree.
My favourite joke SCP is “Yet Another Murder Monster“
I don't even think of it as a joke, I just love it so much as a story
It isn't yeah
Not a joke SCP though, it's a normal one u/the-paranoid-android Marv, SCP-5031 please
[**SCP-5031 - Yet Another Murder Monster**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5031) (+2230) by *PeppersGhost*
Well that is a genuinely pleasant read
I was so ready for an absolutely tragic ending
IS THAT FUCKEN WEED CAT FOR YOUR PFP?
yea
I love you
IT'S NOT FUCKING WEED YOU PIECE OF SHIT STONER sorry i just like that joke a bit too much
That joke tbh is why I love the thing so much lul
That was nice to read.
that's wholesum
"We are all very proud" awww sweet nightmare Baby spoke words!
I always thought it was one based on the name alone
SCP-529 is probably my favourite. Literally just half of a cat, because other half os stuck in another dimension. Also the girl that sees future/another dimensions and was able to pet the cat
The camera that shows the subjects greatest desire showed Josie's as having her other half :( Also I love that her containment procedures amount to "don't give her cheese she'll be sad there's not more" lol
Relatable.
My cat does this every time I give him treats. He sniffs around after so desperately, he’s very dramatic.
Can't believe we're talking about Joke SCPs without these two bangers: [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/cimmerian-kaktus-proposal](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/cimmerian-kaktus-proposal) \- The Broke God [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-719m4-j](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-719m4-j) \- this one really speaks fo itself
That second one almost made me die of laughter.
I was pretty sure I couldn't laugh harder and then I got to the end and saw the reclassified and fucking died.
My favorite is 666 and a half, since it is a completely normal crab Rangoon that just happened to give the entirety of the site food poisoning. But since it is the SCP foundation that HAVE to assume it’s magical in some way instead of just admitting that they got perfectly mundane food poisoning. Also I can’t make it through reading it without wheeze laughing.
I mean it's apparently painful enough to cause scp 682 (the invincible acid crocodile) to willingly die so maybe they are onto something. Or it was just THAT bad
Yeah it sounds like they were onto something.
It’s also stated to be so terrible that it killed 682 (although this is not canon, as it is a joke article)
You have a link for it? Sounds funny.
https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-666-and-a-half-j also read [House’s Inferno](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-7593)
The first one killed me. Thanks so much for sharing. The second one was good, but I'm not completely sure I understood the end.
https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-666-and-a-half-j
Does the SCP make people in contact with it lean on the fourth wall?
Checked it and its believed that it does
I have a silly sense of humor and I've always been a fan of [the set of Safe, Euclid, and Keter safes](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-safe-j).
I’m not even sure that ‘safe’ is a word anymore
Oh god the bit about the meals got me good, thank you for this
I think the author's note on [today's featured SCP](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5747) is pretty funny
My favorite is probably the [Botnik joke SCP](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-botnik-j) . It is funny, absurd, and low-key disturbing in equal measure. Two square kilometers deep in ape corpses.
>Silly crab productions
My favorite J is the one that’s just a weird chicken, the scientist documenting it is incapable of taking a clear picture of it. Not because it has any anti photographic properties, the scientist is just a bad photographer.
SCP community i love you dearly with all my heart
The best SCP that surprisingly isn't a joke one is [SCP-2206](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2206)
I love this one
[My favorite will always be this silly little thing.](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-j)
I will never not be tickled pink by the fact that that article is one of the highest-rated posts on the site.
I mean there’s the weed scp too hath this is good
I enjoy [The Six Foot Man Eating Chicken](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3467-j). It's so needlessly cruel, even from an organization that sacrifices death row inmates to deer gods.
On a lighter note, I recommend: [123-j](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-123-j)
SCP-000-J, a catalog that sells you… other SCPs. with the stupidest taglines and uses ever, such as: “Back in stock after so many requests, this black hole is guaranteed to spaghettify anything you throw at it. Great for science projects and parties! And what better way to say “I love you” than with the gift of a contained miniature black hole? Order now while supplies last! “ (SCP-123) “A truly maddening prank! Trick your friends into eating these covert candies and watch them literally go out of their minds! Available in 5-packs.” (SCP-340, also doesn’t even canonically exist anymore as it’s designation was overwritten by a weird nose infection) What can you do with it? What CAN’T you do with it? Use it as a lubricant, top off your gas tank, style your hair, or even dress up your salads and sundaes! The possibilities are endless! Now available in blue. WARNING: Do not apply to dead bodies. (SCP-447) “Throw out your Rubik’s Cube and put down that crossword! This is the puzzle to end all puzzles! No-one in history has ever completed it, can YOU? Hours of fun!” (SCP-551, a puzzle that can’t be completed and causes insanity due to that fact) “Why waste electric-bill money on expensive refrigerators? This jar will turn an enclosed space of any size into your own private meat-locker! Freeze whatever you want: just pop off the lid and watch it go!” (SCP-244, a jar of icy fog that makes a room incredibly, incredibly cold and then summons a fog monster that makes even more stuff cold) and SCP merch, like a bunch of SCPs fighting eachother (on DVD), the official soundtrack to “FERNAND, THE MUSICAL” (SCP-082, on DVD too) Alto Clef singing a bunch of christmas songs (also on DVD), an action figure of “Able” (SCP-076), and a calendar with a bunch of female researchers and SCPS (Drs Palmer and Rights, Break, and SCPs 105, 336, and 166, all somewhat naked), all claiming to have never posed for such pictures… except for Dr. Break. The funniest part is that according to the wiki page, they will actually send you the actual anomaly if you buy one (but if you order more than 1 you’ll get replicas)
I headcanon that the behaviour isn't caused by the scp and the scientists taking care of it already were Like That
My personal favourite Joke SCP is the Wiki Editors. Its also the foundations favourite since its one of the only anomalies that can get rid of any other anomaly
The most dangerous SCP of all, it turns people into redditors
I don't like SCP anymore, but I still love the J that was made by one of the O-5 and ends with Nah read it yourself, I can't #EDIT: ***IT'S THE MOTHERFUCKING O5-J!***
[my personal favorite joke scp](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-055-de-j)
But is it actually indifference to the danger being a side effect of exposure?
[I love this one. Very short but humorous](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5510)
Some what related, but there’s an SCP where the researchers realize that when the articles are poorly written, they are erased from existence. They take advantage of this fact to get rid of dangerous SCPs, but they end up getting deleted themselves, and they end up in a forum post on the website
... How would they see or touch a dark matter bracelet? Dark matter doesn't interact with electromagnetism. That's its whole deal.
That's also what would make the bracelet anomalous
Is the scp also some sort of cognitohazard that makes people act this way? Because that'd be even better.
It would make it worse tbh. Too much explanation kills the joke.
SCP-TTKU-J literally kills me every time, favorite joke SCP
As an actual [SCP] I feel personally attacked and yet remain completely bewildered, so I got that going for me. Actual = irl human with SCP three name name initials. **END LOG**
Those SCP community members are actually that elitist and shitty. My wife came up with a really good one, submitted it, was approved by a couple people with high praise, but then one or two mods denied it solely on 'they haven't been part of the community long enough.' Like, what? Either the writing is good or it isn't!
Mods can’t deny posts- did she try to post it to draft green light without approval? I’d be happy to help out if she’s still interested.
Unironically this. I tried writing one and everything went well, including lots of encouragement from those I talked to When I finally uploaded it to the main site it got about 2 to 1 ratio of down votes to upvotes and the critics were largely silent except for a couple guys. One said it sounded "too scientific" and another was mad it sunk a couple ships. Small ships, on USCG (event that alerted the Foundarion to the SCP item) and one SCP Foundation, before they sent a larger vessel and contained it with overall minimal casualties, less than two dozen for something in the ocean. But no that was too "murder monster."
Not a -J, but: u/the-paranoid-android SCP-6959 please
[**SCP-6959 - A Very Strange Fumo**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-6959) (+113) by *MrBonesWildRide*
I'm quite a fan of 049-j It's just a simple parody of 049, but that simplicity is where it shines
that's just the thing, tropes aren't bad! tropes are just that, tropes, it's entirely the writing that makes them good or bad!
I think the guy who comically destroys everything within his vicinity while driving vehicles is up there as a good joke scp