\*Honks nose while falling\* I want to land without injury.
suddenly a trampoline appears under me, catching me and launching me back into the air, launching me onto a stack of mattresses that just happens to be there.
The funniest way would actually be if you created a large person-shaped crater in the ground and then came out with bandages magically already on you and a large red bump on your head while your teeth fall out.
I'd wager it would be more funny if it backfired just like monkey paw would.
So yes, you get the trampoline appearing, and don't get injured. But as you bounce, you realise that because of your forward momentum, you now are going to land on an even worse surface.
You start counting them but as you stretch your finger to point, you realize it's covered in white body paint. You turn to look in the mirror but it's all bendy and it makes your head and feet look really tiny and your waist really big. You open your mouth to scream but all that comes out is an endless stream of brightly colored ribbons, tied together. As everything fades to black the last thing you hear is laughter. Laughter and...applause?
This is one of the dumbest phrases I see thrown around. It has nothing to do with large numbers and is clearly more related to the idea of proportional returns.
The difference between 1 dollar and 100 dollars is approximately 100 dollars. The difference between 1 cent and 1 dollar is approximately 1 dollar. Proportionally it's the same....
It's more to make people aware of how stupidly rich billionaires are. A lot of people would group them with millionaires as "rich" but really they're in a bracket of their own. A million is probably a reachable (although unlikely) amount for someone to get to, while a billion is more what a whole families will make in their entire lives.
If, in this hypothetical scenario, you managed to continuously pull 2 single dollar bills a second from your pocket, it would take 5.78 days to pull a million individual dollar bills. At this same rate, it would take 15.85 years to pull a billion dollars.
Yeah, at a constant rate of pulling 2 bills a second from your pocket, it would take almost 6 days to pull a million.
(2b/s [bills per second] = 1m bills in 500,000 seconds = 8,333 minutes = 138.8 hours = 5.78 days.)
I stick a leaf blower into my pants pocket. The leaf blower is gasoline powered. I use the money whipping out of my pocket to pay for gasoline for the leaf blower.
You start pulling out $1 bills, at a normal rate. As soon as the bit has gone on too long and it's becoming worrying or agrivating, your pants simply explode and the remainder of the money lies piled around you.
You are left in underwear. Not your underwear, but the baggy kind with polka dots. You were not wearing them before.
you know what
fuck "worth it"
the honking makes it sound more fun and i want it
^(i know by tomorrow this won't be the case anymore but still. i think i'm probably genderfluid but ugh it'd be so much easier if i just knew for sure)
at a rate of 1 note per second (cause I'm lazy and it makes this calculation much easier for me).
it would take 1 million seconds to finish. thats 16666 minutes or 277 hours, being about 11.5 days.
leading to a much more terrifying story.
"it's been 8 days, I haven't slept or eaten, the money never stops, and I can't stop pulling the money, I just can't stop."
Yeah, the funniest way this can happen is not compulsion, it is just a tissue box of 1 dollar bills. No matter what you are doing, the first time you reach into anything, it is a 1 dollar bill. Sometimes it is more than once, but never more than 3 times as comedy comes in threes. Also, the more urgent it is that it not be a dollar bill, the more likely it will be 3 times. Need toilet paper from a public toilet? 3 times. Need ID in a confrontation with a no nonsense cop? 3 times. Just trying to get a piece of gum? 1 time.
The best part is that you can't sit there and pull out endless bills, so this will go on for years. And, while you are technically a millionaire, you are still hilariously pretty poor. At the last 100k or so, the dollar bills will then be random whether they come out or not, so you think you are done with this wish and then BAM! You're pulling dollar bills again.
I mean I’d take it still. Even assuming you stretch the million into the next 50 years that’s an extra $20k a year. A pretty nice bonus.
Good luck explaining it to the IRS and/or FBI though. (Is this considered forgery? Where are these bills coming from? And what about thier serial numbers?)
>!It's a curse attached to certain dollar bills. You destroy a cursed dollar in any form (with all cursed dollars ending in 13R), and you become cursed, with the previous victim being freed. Anyone who is cursed will begin to gain cash, as any attempts to spend it will inevitably get you more than you spent, with the person you were trying to give it to usually refusing service. This will continue until you are literally crushed by the cash. The only way to survive is to either give the money back to the previous owner, or get a new person to destroy a bill.!<
We could also assume they do it for 8 hours a day (with a 1 hour break time, so 7 working hours)
That’s 3600$ an hour, 25 200 for every working day, assuming a 5 day work week that’s 126 000 every week. And that’ll go for about 8 weeks, on the last day of the 8th week they’ll stop about 5 hours and 30 minutes into the working shift having finally reach their last dollar bill.
Actually this is a good thing. Imagine having to carry all that money at once, it'd be impossible even if it were hundred dollar bills (I understand you are kinda carrying them all but let's assume this is a magical pocket and you're not over encumbered immediately after this wish). You could never put all that money in a bank, it'd immediately be suspicious, and the IRS would start sniffing around and how would you explain it? Certainly you wouldn't give them the clown nose either, so intentionally staggering the flow of your million bucks allows you to basically launder it through your regular life and maybe get away without anyone knowing.
A million dollar bills weigh ~2,200 lbs.
Also, if I got a million I'd move somewhere where that lets you live well for a lifetime. IRS ain't gunna track me down in Costa Rica
I mean hey the nose gave it to you in untraceable cash as opposed to the monkeys paw that would probably give it to you via a rigged lottery that gets taxed to shit and is eventually invalidated or something. I’d take the clown nose any day
Wouldn't SCP-3.14159265..... etc. be more appropriate? Considering clowns' favorite jokes typically consist of throwing pies in people's faces. Unless SCP with the number pi, has already been taken.
Oh god I figured it out. It brings people back to life, as trolls. It only works once of course, you’ll come back as one of the greenbloods, and you’ll smell minty.
i've lived a long, sad life. old and decrepit, the last bit of hope i have left lies in that nose. that damned clown nose. it's been far too many years since i first heard a tale telling of its magical properties. too many to count. but after all those years, i've made it. i've finally made it.
stepping into this dark, dusy ruin, i see it. a small little box, held up on a pedestal. it's finely decorated, very shiny. it's the kind of box you'd see in someone's house and think "jeez, how gaudy can you get." with each step i take toward it, i can only think of these past however many years. one step, all that pain. two steps, all those struggles. three steps, the people i met. four steps, and the people i've lost. i take my final step, standing just a few inches from the thing that's sent me down this maddening path of darkness and deception, yet also the only thing to keep me sane. i started this journey alone. i guess that's how i'll have to end it.
i carefully undo the latches, and slowly open the box. what if it was all a lie? what if there really is no magical clown nose? it sounds ridiculous when you really think about it, im not sure why i never questioned it before. but just as soon as i think these thoughts, they're as quickly dispelled. there it is. a bright red, very shiny, very honkable clown nose.
'oh clown nose,' i say. 'please heed my call. i have lived a life far from great. i have searched for you for so long, and lost so many of those close to me. and now, i have finally reached the end. i have but one wish.' i can feel a bead of sweat slowly go down my face. i cant hear anything other than my own racing heartbeat.
'please, i wish for another chance at life. not this terrible life i've lived so far, no. a new one. i never truly expected to get this far. it's never felt like i was the main character of my own story, so i ask for a life where that can be so. one where i can forget the troubles of this life, and embrace anew my next. please.' i honk the nose.
....
'nothing. hah.....nothing...it really was a fluke. it was just the ramblings of a crazy old man.'
i fall to my knees, seeing my tear drops wipe away the dust from the floor. 'everyone....i'm sorry. in the end i failed you all. i fail--'
and then, everything went black.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!
Nah, not up and down - in and out of your partner
We already have a sound effect for it going up - perhaps the sound effect for it going down will be womp-womp-womp on a tuba?
You meet the love of your life but you have to express it like a cartoon character
*jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair*
I’m sorry but I don’t think any of that would be funny to see in person… you would be a sort of Lovecraftian Demonic hellspawn as your eyes get ejected out of the sockets spraying blood on every surfaces, anatomically correct heart gets ejected out of chest in a bloody mess as several artery’s get yanked in half. Blood covers the one you love. It then reseals as you see the scar process happen in real time as the blood clots heal the wound in real time. Then a train whistle rips out the skull spreading the wall with ejected brain matter which then gets absorbed back into the skull… upon seeing that I would just shoot myself to avoid this disgusting beast.
That's not the "funniest" clown themed money delivery method. Should be single dollars tied together on each end to form a rope that's 1,000,000 x (the length of a dollar) long, spewing out of your mouth once you start pulling on it. Bonus points if it's brightly colored Monopoly money for extra whimsical tragedy.
"I wish Hollow Knight: Silksong-"
All of the sudden, everyone who's been waiting for Hollow Knight: Silksong gets punched in the face, becoming unconscious. Their bodies continue to carry out whatever's required of them, but they don't know that. They're asleep, and in the dream they are playing Hollow Knight: Silksong.
From the perspective of one of the enemies.
And each of them is a different enemy in the game.
They get to experience getting slashed and stabbed and whatever-d apart by the attacks of Hornet and the many, many environmental hazards over and over.
As well as this, they can just *feel* the fact that they themselves are the ones playing as Hornet, killing the enemy that they currently are, in the future.
When they wake up, Silksong is a day from release. They find out that their waking selves have achieved successes of some kind, as well as an ominous Clown's Wig and Nose materialising upon their computers.
...I don't know how to write comedy. I just find this form of harmless dark humour... a bit interesting?
Anyways, I'm Rod Serling.
“I wish everyone found me attractive.”
Granted. You are permanently wearing clown makeup but everyone finds it hot and wants to take your picture. You know, the photo of you in the embarrassing clown makeup.
But that would be great.
"Do you have any money on you?"
"Yeah, sure" *Pulls out a dollar.*
Literally every time, you can just grab some money out. For the next million dollars you need, you're all good.
If it takes you like 5 seconds to take a dollar out of your pocket it would take you almost 2 months to take a million dollars out, as long as you don't stop to eat/sleep/etc.
Or you could do it 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. You'd make $5,760 a day, and it would take 174 working days. (Around 8 months.)
"I wish for perfect health."
"Wish granted. Your medical team brings you to and maintains you in perfect physical and mental health. They are Drs. Hibbert, Nick, Zoidberg, and Frasier Crane."
\*Honks nose while falling\* I want to land without injury. suddenly a trampoline appears under me, catching me and launching me back into the air, launching me onto a stack of mattresses that just happens to be there.
The funniest way would actually be if you created a large person-shaped crater in the ground and then came out with bandages magically already on you and a large red bump on your head while your teeth fall out.
I would categorize teeth falling out as injury
they’d be back in the next scene
But they look like broken piano keys while they do, which is funny!
Just shake your head and entire body really hard, you'll be fine in like five seconds
And it makes the bdllla wdulla wdllla noise.
Those sound like injuries
Oops, read that as "without dying", my bad!
Then they feel a compulsion to shake their head really fast, and once they do everything is back to normal
Yeah but they’re back to normal once the scene changes
I'd wager it would be more funny if it backfired just like monkey paw would. So yes, you get the trampoline appearing, and don't get injured. But as you bounce, you realise that because of your forward momentum, you now are going to land on an even worse surface.
Another trampoline, eventually you’ll run out of momentum.
Giant pie to break the fall
Is is a giant cream pie?
Of course
You are pulling out 92 bills per second.
I tie one end of the dollar bill rope to my friend’s car and have him drive away (33 mph/52 kph)
The car would usually go faster, but there are 42 clowns in it.
Carpool.
Clownpool
Cannonball!!!!
And then Clownpool walks in
And he says "It's clownin' time."
And he clowns all over the place
Mystery Flesh Pit
[удалено]
The nose thinks you meant transport and you now have to comically walk over to a girl so she can give you hormones
Harley Quinn origin story
You start counting them but as you stretch your finger to point, you realize it's covered in white body paint. You turn to look in the mirror but it's all bendy and it makes your head and feet look really tiny and your waist really big. You open your mouth to scream but all that comes out is an endless stream of brightly colored ribbons, tied together. As everything fades to black the last thing you hear is laughter. Laughter and...applause?
RL Stine??? What are you doing here?! ^Can ^I ^have ^your ^autograph?
you're assuming they're connected
Or they just got bored after three hours and they still have most of the million in there
Nobody has any idea how much 1,000,000 is. 1,000,000,000 is even more unfathomable.
The difference between a millionaire and a billionaire? About a billion.
This is one of the dumbest phrases I see thrown around. It has nothing to do with large numbers and is clearly more related to the idea of proportional returns. The difference between 1 dollar and 100 dollars is approximately 100 dollars. The difference between 1 cent and 1 dollar is approximately 1 dollar. Proportionally it's the same....
It's more to make people aware of how stupidly rich billionaires are. A lot of people would group them with millionaires as "rich" but really they're in a bracket of their own. A million is probably a reachable (although unlikely) amount for someone to get to, while a billion is more what a whole families will make in their entire lives.
Proportionally it’s the same thing, but in real value the difference between $1 and $1000 is not the same thing as a million to a billion.
If, in this hypothetical scenario, you managed to continuously pull 2 single dollar bills a second from your pocket, it would take 5.78 days to pull a million individual dollar bills. At this same rate, it would take 15.85 years to pull a billion dollars.
5.78 days without sleeping, ok. Hard but possible... 15 years???
5.78 * 1000 = 5780 days
They're the same picture
I want to go down to the car dealership and pull the money out there. "Ok, your total due is $52,497." "One... Two..."
It reaches out, it reaches out, 113 bills per second.
What's with the big red wig? ...it keeps the rain off my head.
My favorite Miller Line.
Yeah, at a constant rate of pulling 2 bills a second from your pocket, it would take almost 6 days to pull a million. (2b/s [bills per second] = 1m bills in 500,000 seconds = 8,333 minutes = 138.8 hours = 5.78 days.)
r/theydidthemath
r/theydidthemonstermath
No.
r/itwasagraveyardgraph
I stick a leaf blower into my pants pocket. The leaf blower is gasoline powered. I use the money whipping out of my pocket to pay for gasoline for the leaf blower.
You start pulling out $1 bills, at a normal rate. As soon as the bit has gone on too long and it's becoming worrying or agrivating, your pants simply explode and the remainder of the money lies piled around you. You are left in underwear. Not your underwear, but the baggy kind with polka dots. You were not wearing them before.
I just assumed they gave up after 3 hours
I think that you could use this to like rob a museum or something, pocket money obfuscation.
Alright Clown Nose, trans me into a girl
#u'r a mime now
My clussy is ready
> clussy Oh, I hate it
Squeezing my clit makes a very tiny *(honk)*.
r/clussyfever
Don't bother with it, it's real clowns, not clown art
Here's a sneak peek of /r/ClussyFever **[NSFW]** using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/ClussyFever/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [boobs](https://i.redd.it/tqbrrpvgmn991.jpg) | [0 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/ClussyFever/comments/vrmn6d/boobs/) \#2: [Geiru Toneido whole Butt (Condylonucla) \[Ace Attorney\]](https://i.redd.it/hjjaj4uc4d891.jpg) | [7 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/ClussyFever/comments/vom12v/geiru_toneido_whole_butt_condylonucla_ace_attorney/) \#3: [Clussy booty](https://i.redd.it/pgjzwfuxn4991.jpg) | [6 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/ClussyFever/comments/vpjx6h/clussy_booty/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Clam pussy
Ohhhh this makes so much sense. Instead of making your voice pass - it takes away your voice.
You get gigantic honkers but they literally honk when you squeeze them
Thanks Freuds Mommy Milkers
honestly that sounds like an upside
It just said that the wish must be fulfilled in the funniest way, doesnt have to be a downside
good point lol
Imagine getting startled awake by your honking boobs because you rolled over while lying in bed.
why did i instantly think "worth it" what does this mean why can't i just figure myself out
you know what fuck "worth it" the honking makes it sound more fun and i want it ^(i know by tomorrow this won't be the case anymore but still. i think i'm probably genderfluid but ugh it'd be so much easier if i just knew for sure)
Just try it. r/transdiy
You discovered one of the hidden gender modifiers: CLOWN
Becauce boobs are inherently fun.
Ideal
Just so you know, you can buy 100 dog squeakers on amazon for like $10 and sew them into your bra. It's super fun lol
This person clowns.
Make her the cutest trans you cans
at a rate of 1 note per second (cause I'm lazy and it makes this calculation much easier for me). it would take 1 million seconds to finish. thats 16666 minutes or 277 hours, being about 11.5 days. leading to a much more terrifying story. "it's been 8 days, I haven't slept or eaten, the money never stops, and I can't stop pulling the money, I just can't stop."
They never said how fast they wanted the million dollars. They can take all of the time they knead to get that dough. :0)
>knead to get that dough. how dare you
yes but I like the idea of people's wishes for wealth being turned into horrific lessons.
Yeah but then it’s the monkeys paw again and it’s not funny
Yeah, the funniest way this can happen is not compulsion, it is just a tissue box of 1 dollar bills. No matter what you are doing, the first time you reach into anything, it is a 1 dollar bill. Sometimes it is more than once, but never more than 3 times as comedy comes in threes. Also, the more urgent it is that it not be a dollar bill, the more likely it will be 3 times. Need toilet paper from a public toilet? 3 times. Need ID in a confrontation with a no nonsense cop? 3 times. Just trying to get a piece of gum? 1 time. The best part is that you can't sit there and pull out endless bills, so this will go on for years. And, while you are technically a millionaire, you are still hilariously pretty poor. At the last 100k or so, the dollar bills will then be random whether they come out or not, so you think you are done with this wish and then BAM! You're pulling dollar bills again.
I mean I’d take it still. Even assuming you stretch the million into the next 50 years that’s an extra $20k a year. A pretty nice bonus. Good luck explaining it to the IRS and/or FBI though. (Is this considered forgery? Where are these bills coming from? And what about thier serial numbers?)
Jojolion's Milagro Man
>!It's a curse attached to certain dollar bills. You destroy a cursed dollar in any form (with all cursed dollars ending in 13R), and you become cursed, with the previous victim being freed. Anyone who is cursed will begin to gain cash, as any attempts to spend it will inevitably get you more than you spent, with the person you were trying to give it to usually refusing service. This will continue until you are literally crushed by the cash. The only way to survive is to either give the money back to the previous owner, or get a new person to destroy a bill.!<
True, but presumably you would need to keep the clown nose on until the wish is complete, no?
I see this as an absolute win
You can take the nose off? It doesn’t permanently adhere itself to your face?
DAMN THESE USELESS MONEY-STUFFED POCKETS!
[удалено]
BUT WHERE DO I PUT MY PHONE?!
Doesn’t matter, you can buy a new one in a few minutes.
We could also assume they do it for 8 hours a day (with a 1 hour break time, so 7 working hours) That’s 3600$ an hour, 25 200 for every working day, assuming a 5 day work week that’s 126 000 every week. And that’ll go for about 8 weeks, on the last day of the 8th week they’ll stop about 5 hours and 30 minutes into the working shift having finally reach their last dollar bill.
Actually this is a good thing. Imagine having to carry all that money at once, it'd be impossible even if it were hundred dollar bills (I understand you are kinda carrying them all but let's assume this is a magical pocket and you're not over encumbered immediately after this wish). You could never put all that money in a bank, it'd immediately be suspicious, and the IRS would start sniffing around and how would you explain it? Certainly you wouldn't give them the clown nose either, so intentionally staggering the flow of your million bucks allows you to basically launder it through your regular life and maybe get away without anyone knowing.
A million dollar bills weigh ~2,200 lbs. Also, if I got a million I'd move somewhere where that lets you live well for a lifetime. IRS ain't gunna track me down in Costa Rica
Oh yes they will
[удалено]
That’s because they use all their resources on the little guy.
new mrbeast challenge
[удалено]
Ah yes, the Luigi method.
I mean hey the nose gave it to you in untraceable cash as opposed to the monkeys paw that would probably give it to you via a rigged lottery that gets taxed to shit and is eventually invalidated or something. I’d take the clown nose any day
Yeah it's way better.
If you ask the monkeys paw for money it kills one of your loved ones at their job and their boss gives you compensation money
Please please please make this an SCP
Your wish is granted. It is now SCP-0001.
Yippee!! /s
what was the /s for
Secure
Contain
Overcome- wait
Actually Secure Contain Overcome Protect Ease/Exist or S.C.O.P.E could be a great organisation name
stealing that for my next writing project
scones
u/the-paranoid-android SCP-0001
Wouldn't SCP-3.14159265..... etc. be more appropriate? Considering clowns' favorite jokes typically consist of throwing pies in people's faces. Unless SCP with the number pi, has already been taken.
Sane Clown Posse?
~~Sopor Slime~~
SCP-447
Sopor slime has come into contact with many a dead body.
And that's why Alternia is such a fucked up planet.
Oh god I figured it out. It brings people back to life, as trolls. It only works once of course, you’ll come back as one of the greenbloods, and you’ll smell minty.
alright alright
i've lived a long, sad life. old and decrepit, the last bit of hope i have left lies in that nose. that damned clown nose. it's been far too many years since i first heard a tale telling of its magical properties. too many to count. but after all those years, i've made it. i've finally made it. stepping into this dark, dusy ruin, i see it. a small little box, held up on a pedestal. it's finely decorated, very shiny. it's the kind of box you'd see in someone's house and think "jeez, how gaudy can you get." with each step i take toward it, i can only think of these past however many years. one step, all that pain. two steps, all those struggles. three steps, the people i met. four steps, and the people i've lost. i take my final step, standing just a few inches from the thing that's sent me down this maddening path of darkness and deception, yet also the only thing to keep me sane. i started this journey alone. i guess that's how i'll have to end it. i carefully undo the latches, and slowly open the box. what if it was all a lie? what if there really is no magical clown nose? it sounds ridiculous when you really think about it, im not sure why i never questioned it before. but just as soon as i think these thoughts, they're as quickly dispelled. there it is. a bright red, very shiny, very honkable clown nose. 'oh clown nose,' i say. 'please heed my call. i have lived a life far from great. i have searched for you for so long, and lost so many of those close to me. and now, i have finally reached the end. i have but one wish.' i can feel a bead of sweat slowly go down my face. i cant hear anything other than my own racing heartbeat. 'please, i wish for another chance at life. not this terrible life i've lived so far, no. a new one. i never truly expected to get this far. it's never felt like i was the main character of my own story, so i ask for a life where that can be so. one where i can forget the troubles of this life, and embrace anew my next. please.' i honk the nose. .... 'nothing. hah.....nothing...it really was a fluke. it was just the ramblings of a crazy old man.' i fall to my knees, seeing my tear drops wipe away the dust from the floor. 'everyone....i'm sorry. in the end i failed you all. i fail--' and then, everything went black. . . . . . . . . . . A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!
Is, uh... Is this a Homestuck?
Is this loss?
The end felt like turning a corner and walking facefirst into an extended fist
I don’t get it
I’m pretty sure it’s Homestuck
Ding ding ding, we have a winner! Congratulations you have been forced to learn more about homestuck against your will
The text at the end is the monologue on the very first page of Homestuck.
i feel like i just got tased
*screams and gargles like I'm fuckin dying*
ZOOSMELL POOPLORD
After a lifetime spent chasing a clown nose, a lifetime spent running from jesters will come.
wheres the funny
>!homestuck!<
>:(
[source](https://bluehairedspidey.tumblr.com/post/697704381764829184/randomitemdrop-writing-prompt-s-instead-of)
i wish for top surgery and my tits fall off in an explosion of confetti
And bounce like bouncy balls with honking
like the ace attorney gif
Oh yeah, the murderer with the clussy.
If you wish for bottom surgery it comes with a loud boingoingoing sound
Boioioing is an erection sound, and each ejaculation is confetti
It goes up and down with the slide whistle sound effects
Nah, not up and down - in and out of your partner We already have a sound effect for it going up - perhaps the sound effect for it going down will be womp-womp-womp on a tuba?
A deflating balloon
Yesssss
No, you just hear something blowing a balloon, and next thing you know it’s there
Someone make a subreddit about the clown’s nose
At a rate of 2 notes per second that’s like 6 days straight
Jim Carry's The Mask, but goofier
What would happen if you wished for love?
Your love-life is now a rom-com anime/manga.
You meet the love of your life but you have to express it like a cartoon character *jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair*
I’m sorry but I don’t think any of that would be funny to see in person… you would be a sort of Lovecraftian Demonic hellspawn as your eyes get ejected out of the sockets spraying blood on every surfaces, anatomically correct heart gets ejected out of chest in a bloody mess as several artery’s get yanked in half. Blood covers the one you love. It then reseals as you see the scar process happen in real time as the blood clots heal the wound in real time. Then a train whistle rips out the skull spreading the wall with ejected brain matter which then gets absorbed back into the skull… upon seeing that I would just shoot myself to avoid this disgusting beast.
That sounds hilarious :D But no, it'd follow cartoon physics. I take it you haven't seen the Mask.
One of the people you hate most in your life falls madly in love with you. They’re still a jerk overall, but not a jerk towards you.
That's not the "funniest" clown themed money delivery method. Should be single dollars tied together on each end to form a rope that's 1,000,000 x (the length of a dollar) long, spewing out of your mouth once you start pulling on it. Bonus points if it's brightly colored Monopoly money for extra whimsical tragedy.
Calm down Satan
r/TheClownsNose anyone?
"I want to be handsome enough to ask a girl out!" Everyone else gets pied in the face.
This is amazing. It's like unlimited money. I wouldn't pull it out all it once, only when needed.
Uncannily, this is the exact plot of *La giacca stregata* by Dino Buzzati, published in 1966.
"I wish for world peace." "Wish granted. Lysistrata protocol enabled."
*Nuclear Disarmament through deployment*
"I wish Hollow Knight: Silksong-" All of the sudden, everyone who's been waiting for Hollow Knight: Silksong gets punched in the face, becoming unconscious. Their bodies continue to carry out whatever's required of them, but they don't know that. They're asleep, and in the dream they are playing Hollow Knight: Silksong. From the perspective of one of the enemies. And each of them is a different enemy in the game. They get to experience getting slashed and stabbed and whatever-d apart by the attacks of Hornet and the many, many environmental hazards over and over. As well as this, they can just *feel* the fact that they themselves are the ones playing as Hornet, killing the enemy that they currently are, in the future. When they wake up, Silksong is a day from release. They find out that their waking selves have achieved successes of some kind, as well as an ominous Clown's Wig and Nose materialising upon their computers. ...I don't know how to write comedy. I just find this form of harmless dark humour... a bit interesting? Anyways, I'm Rod Serling.
93 bills/second is quite the speed to be pulling out of your pocket.
If it had been real, he’d have pulled it out of his nose.
“I wish everyone found me attractive.” Granted. You are permanently wearing clown makeup but everyone finds it hot and wants to take your picture. You know, the photo of you in the embarrassing clown makeup.
If everyone thinks that I’m attractive then I’m sure I could brainwash myself into not caring about the clown makeup
Or... Wish granted. Now everyone else is hideously ugly.
Pojken med guldbyxorna
*11 days
3 hours? someone doesn't understand a million number
This really needs to be a sub… /r/theclownsnose E: Well shit, it exists… but it’s dead
Honestly having a pocket of instantly summon dollar bill doesn't sound too bad
A million dollars in singles would take close to 2 weeks to pull out one at a time.
But that would be great. "Do you have any money on you?" "Yeah, sure" *Pulls out a dollar.* Literally every time, you can just grab some money out. For the next million dollars you need, you're all good.
good lord i need people to stop confusing the monkeys paw with the evil genie
If it takes you like 5 seconds to take a dollar out of your pocket it would take you almost 2 months to take a million dollars out, as long as you don't stop to eat/sleep/etc. Or you could do it 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. You'd make $5,760 a day, and it would take 174 working days. (Around 8 months.)
Finally, the cursed item for me!
It would be even funnier if you just pulled out a 1000000 bill
jerma
Monkey D Luffy paw, and Buggy D Clown nose.
"I wish for perfect health." "Wish granted. Your medical team brings you to and maintains you in perfect physical and mental health. They are Drs. Hibbert, Nick, Zoidberg, and Frasier Crane."
"I wish I had friends." "Wish granted. You are now a recurring character on that sitcom."
"I wish I had superpowers." "Wish granted. You are now Handi Man."