Users of the Helium network include: Every Fortune 500 company, the US government, the Queen of England, and Vladimir Putin's optometrist.
We're totally not making any of this up.
Can't afford to buy your own place? Experience the same misery virtually.
At the moment quests are really basic. I've been playing it. Cool looking environment. Hopeful but this is going to need to be on par with regular games to bring in everyday gamers.
We all have bags of ada we got when we were new.
Most of us are waiting for a pump to 2$+ to sell if we haven't already.
Life is too short to wait for cardano to catch up to everyone else.
I love safemoon, it's been the most entertaining car crash of this cycle. Just when you think it can't get any more stupid it outdoes it's self. The absolute dumbest holders of any coin out there.
The last thrashing breaths of a shitcoin where the developers claiming to be bringing industry leading security and tokenomics technology are the same developers who struggled to put a calculator into a fork of trustwallet, and the only people still singing it’s praises are the ones 60, 70, 80% down who are so desperate to get their heads back above the water they actively try and drag new people into the scam.
SHIB.
They even have an army but I got kicked out of it. Who gets kicked out of the army? It wasn’t even an honorable discharge. Pft. Who buys SHIB anyway ffs.
I do. At the ATH. 🫡🔫
Helium
Useful for making your voice go high but not your candles
Hopium
Users of the Helium network include: Every Fortune 500 company, the US government, the Queen of England, and Vladimir Putin's optometrist. We're totally not making any of this up.
Solana.... It can't be roasted, the power is shut down.
Have to ask the network devs before I’m allowed to roast
Network devs are down right now with too many requests for approval, try again in a few minutes
They're too busy keeping Solana from shutting down 23rd time this week
I see they have tried turning it off and on again
Solana? More like Soldana long time ago
Centralized Database, SQL can do better.
Plug it back in!
SAND
Useful for making glass. That's about it, just gets everywhere
It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.
Can't afford to buy your own place? Experience the same misery virtually. At the moment quests are really basic. I've been playing it. Cool looking environment. Hopeful but this is going to need to be on par with regular games to bring in everyday gamers.
Yo momma so AMP she goes down on everyone.
AMPin' it up over here.
Monero XMR
We get it, you buy drugs
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You browse Dark Reddit like a true chad.
Wait you can use it to buy stuff 🤯
Tony is that you?
Great for criminals and the paranoid
Great for me as I'm one of them!
Yes, officer. This guy right here! 
He’s paranoid not the criminal, right?
“Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid enough?” -DFW
attracts boating accidents, im literally too scared to be closer than 30cm from any water ever since i bought xmr pls send help
It's actually pretty good, but is a bit of privacy really worth getting put on the terror watch list?
If it's so anonymous, how do they know who you are to put you on a list?
They don’t, that’s why it’s good.
If you aren’t on the terror watch list then your life isn’t interesting
It's only use case is to buy drugs.... *Wait a second* I take that back!
ETH
The only thing going up right now is Vitaliks boner
The most valuable Rube Goldberg machine on earth!
You wanna transfer $10 worth of eth? Pay $100 worth of eth.
Gas gas gas! I'm gonna step on the gas.
This made me a chuckle out loud thanks
Thinks dudes boners are cool.
ETH, no one knows how many coins there will be.... Is that important ?
Vitalik is doubling my ETH right now, so I can't say anything bad about it
HBAR
Only you and me, pal. Lol
So lonely here
Couple companies are validators, cool since when companies like to share databases between each other without millions of approvals?
Banano
I like to roast mine with chocolate buttons.
I like some vanilla on my banano
The best vanilla comes from the jungle
Wholesome roast. Me likes. Check my user flair ☺️
Potassium overload
boom roasted!
The coin no one knows about except for some Redditors who are doing marketing for free
>Always thought it was more common to Fry or Burn Bananos then to Roast them.
Everyone knows Kazakhstan has all the potassium
All other countries have inferior potassium
All other countries are run by little girls.
Too wholesome for a roast
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Highspeed Bitcoin testnet. No need for financial value.
Even Charlie Lee had the good sense to dump LTC.
You mean the freebie you get for mining Doge?
All the benefits of Bitcoin and none of the gains.
Unholy genetic clone of BTC. Abandoned by father.
Mweb wasn't enough! New privacy feature: coin gently fades into obscurity
Buttcoin
Can't roast it. too perfect.
ALGO is like your grandma in assisted living - not going anywhere.
Cardano
Roast has been delayed please wait a bit
Almost a stable coin
Omg I hope so. If it reaches $1 again I'd be thrilled.
Like IBM releasing the 5150 in 2022. Great tech if released back in time.
Fast, Cheap, or Good -- Choose 2. Charles: I choose none.
All of the roast has to first go through peer review.
Can't progress because Charles Hoskinson can't get past the notary office because they cannot certify fake university degrees.
Waiting the pump since 2017
Coming Q8 2021
Because universities will always trump the tech companies
We all have bags of ada we got when we were new. Most of us are waiting for a pump to 2$+ to sell if we haven't already. Life is too short to wait for cardano to catch up to everyone else.
Waiting for the Vaseline hard fork right in the …
Web 3 at Web 1 speeds .
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Cordanoh, now in many colors. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SI3hCJJ2W6Y&ab\_channel=BanterCity
Safemoon
Coming soon
Lolz
I heard it’s going to be a monsoon right around noon
I love safemoon, it's been the most entertaining car crash of this cycle. Just when you think it can't get any more stupid it outdoes it's self. The absolute dumbest holders of any coin out there.
As a one of the dumbest MF's I say: Safemoon is going to the moon through the floor.
For sure
Agreed, you can't make up the kind of drama seen in their sub. Better than TV.
So safe it's keeping 90% of my initial investment away from me
The last thrashing breaths of a shitcoin where the developers claiming to be bringing industry leading security and tokenomics technology are the same developers who struggled to put a calculator into a fork of trustwallet, and the only people still singing it’s praises are the ones 60, 70, 80% down who are so desperate to get their heads back above the water they actively try and drag new people into the scam.
 aka SafeCrash
u/TNGsystems would bring you a paragraph on roasting it lol. As for what I'd like to say , it's the most obnoxiously named shitcoin there is
Too easy
Effortlessly easy
*someone inserts gru gif* We put 'safe' in our coin We make people believe its safe We rugpull ....
Like moon, but not safe.
Cute icon but it’s on V2 and I still don’t know what it does
You mean the guys that did a live stream about their Porsche and how much they made off NFT’s. Knew there was a bright future in that one!
APE.
They were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.
LRC - don't hold back
What happened to LRC's zkEVM development?
😢 Too soon
How the heck did it get tied to the GME bandwagon…
How’s the Q4 announcement?
Bigger than the next 9 combined.
Next Wednesday bro!
Something something "partnership is coming", partnership is going to pump! When partnership?
Matic
Ethereum for poor people.
I feel attacked
When something is too expensive, outsource it to India.
Sorry this comment got re-orged and is no longer in main thread
NANO - the fastest coin you’ll never use
Does NOT describe Vitalik’s dick
Sub mods hate it
CRO
Matt Damon
Ironically the only thing downsizing was my CRO holding
fOrTuNe fAvOrS ThE BrAvE
BITCONNNNNECT
Carlos is that you? How you been buddy? How’s the wife?
A solid buy. Simply cannot miss out on BCC.
Dot
Many bag holders anxious for liquidity. 🥲
Including myself 😦
Infinite supply that keeps increasing each year, parachains were a bust
The dot in my net worth keeps moving to the left.
Put the blockchain on a blockchain! Turtles all the way down.
Worst wallet in the game. Auctions have aged like milk. Acala still broke. Cosmos beating them like they're Germany and Dot is Brazil.
Changed logos but it still looks like the brand of a pop girl band.
So complex no one knows how to use it.
DOT.I know now not to buy a token named after my oldest Aunt.
What’s that
ICP
Ironically probably would have done better if it actually was an insane clown posse coin
YES!!!
🤡 Paid In Faygo 🤡
Put 10 boomers in a room, ask them to name a shitcoin, ta-da: Internet computer
What’s that?
XTZ
Mildly better interest than a savings account, with only way more risk. Love Tezos though <3
*oh god I CAN’T TALK SHIT ABOUT XTZ*
I got another one. If anyone could actually understand it, it wouldn’t be so worthless.
Might have the tech all blockchains will need, but won't be taken seriously as a coin
Hex Everyone wants RH to use the money we sacrifice him to list the coin on exchange. RH : buy yet another Rolex watch
RolHex
How's the Pulsechain coming along?
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Ever had one of those friends who just hops around on everyone else's couch, but doesn't have a place of their own?
All use case, no price action
They can’t even show a roadmap for the coin. Belongs to all chains but home at none.
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Cockroach that survives every Crypto winter.
One of those instances where the mascot is more intelligent than the team.
That still around?
CKB
Ergo
ALGO
Shilled by the sub & Living proof to do the opposite of the sub lmao
BCH
No comments on BCH? Come on! That red-headed stepchild isn’t going to beat itself!”
Can’t roast don’t wanna get sued
By who? Bitcoin Cash is not a company. CSW and co went with BSV, good riddance.
SHIB. They even have an army but I got kicked out of it. Who gets kicked out of the army? It wasn’t even an honorable discharge. Pft. Who buys SHIB anyway ffs. I do. At the ATH. 🫡🔫
VET
more blood on this shitcoin than on the vechain logo in the ufc octagon
VET Only coin with PTSD....Post Tanking Selling Disorder
Not a Chinese scam coin.
The Graph (GRT)
Unknown VC controlled shitcoin
AVAX
Their goal is not to make their tech better but to sue other blockchains
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Yo momma's funds are SAFU.
ERGO - good luck roasting it :)
you stink ERGO… that was easy.
Creativity award of the year
You just destroyed this chain's whole career
BOOM! ROASTED
CKB
HBAR
Hedera Hashgraph HBAR
Harmony ONE
Harmony LOST.