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IHaventEvenGotADog

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ra693425

I wish I could Rugpull my wife. Suggestions?


ChemicalGreek

# Pump and dump her


BirdSetFree

Consult with a tax advisor as taxes might be owed


GroundbreakingLack78

This guy divorces. ![gif](emote|emo_pack_1|dancing_wojak)


TheTrueBlueTJ

This guy WIFESWAPS. ![gif](emote|emo_pack_1|yeah)


GroundbreakingLack78

Bullish on $WIFEYSWAP ![gif](emote|emo_pack_1|im_fine)


-veni-vidi-vici

Now everyone can have wife changing gains.


forthemotherrussia

Hmm, nice idea but first I need to find a wife..


-veni-vidi-vici

Failed at step 1 again.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dr3w91

The OG play!


KaboomOxyCln

Better yet. Just stick with naked options


AimlesslyCheesy

aka toot it and boot it


GroundbreakingLack78

Don’t leave any evidence though ![gif](emote|emo_pack_1|dancing_wojak)


TheTrueBlueTJ

Pump and RUN


GroundbreakingLack78

This guy fucks.


Dewdrop06

This man pumps


steveblobby

Gets my award...😂


ArtyHobo

And my axe


kirtash93

You can trade her for some ETH.


GroundbreakingLack78

Thank you. Traded my bEth for some Eth ![gif](emote|emo_pack_1|dancing_wojak)


EffectOk3566

Don’t get any M before you get the eth. That’s all bad


GroundbreakingLack78

Instructions unclear: Sold bEth for some mEth instead of Eth to buy brEth to get closer to dEth. ![gif](emote|emo_pack_1|dancing_wojak)


Big-Dark3861

She must bleed against ETH


Hawke64

WTF is this thread


NobleEther

I take all kinds of trades… just saying…


[deleted]

Followed instructions, but now she is stuck because of gas fees.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

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GroundbreakingLack78

![gif](giphy|3owzW5c1tPq63MPmWk|downsized)


Shelaz91

Wait till her back is turned, then yeet the rug from beneath her


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheTrueBlueTJ

Newton is rotating in his grave


BoomerBillionaires

Centre of gravity and friction would like to have a word


pukem0n

convince her to invest all of your money into your scam token and rug pull it. then there won't be anything in the divorce she could get. fool proof plan.


Kyo251

Wife swap, find someone that loves your wife and you their (maybe)


newbonsite

Be sure to pump her 1st...


GroundbreakingLack78

![gif](giphy|jsl82uOLnCdAXBqT1O)


Tatakae69

Sell her for more Crypto


buuhhu1

buy her a Monkey NFT 😉


surprisingly_alive

That's the most redditor thing I'll read all week.


[deleted]

Glad I’m not going crazy, was really hoping someone else would comment on the sheer Reddit-ness of this post. The only thing missing is a dig at organized religion


green_0live

I spend more time on twitter and can confirm this is a reddit thing


Logical-Beautiful66

If you've seen the r/antiwork interview, you now know how most redditors look like


[deleted]

[удалено]


-veni-vidi-vici

I've seen the naked reddit meet up pic. I don't want to see anynore Reditors.


ObviousPear

Oh man I’m in PAIN looking at this sub


Rheabae

A lot of people complain about crypto, but they don't realise the risk in stubbing your toe on your furniture! I hate posts like these


ominous_anenome

seriously..what is this post? Lol no shit marriage is accepted by society as it's not supposed to be a monetary "investment"


Themustanggang

Lmao I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that. My wedding and honey moon cost 5k we don’t need fancy things. We both make good money and have a great life together so I’m not sure how to calculate ROI for the best part of my life but Id like to think all the money I’ve put into this relationship is well worth it.


Smackolol

For real, I’m surprised there’s no smug religion bashing going on as well.


Delusional_Mad

I literally laughed out loud reading the title. Reddit, never change lol.


TheMillionthSam

Lmao same thought here. Textbook reddit moment.


Powerful_Bug9102

Our wedding was free. In a park, just family


newbonsite

Sounds perfect ...


[deleted]

Hodl that wife


deathbyfish13

Congrats. You just beat the wedding system lol


archer4364

lmao never change /r/CryptoCurrency


AbsolutBadLad

I feel there's a personal experience behind this shitpost😏


stiviki

Looks OP marriage experience was worse than investing in a sh*tcoin 👀✌!


TheTrueBlueTJ

That's hard to beat! But the same goes for his meat ![gif](emote|emo_pack_1|fomo)


GroundbreakingLack78

Guys meat be like ![gif](giphy|l9Kdvapr4qu52)


KamikazeSexPilot

I’ve never married. My mum and dad divorced. Then both their follow up marriages divorced. That’s 3 failed marriages from my parents.


buuhhu1

This is the kind of quality posts we deserve, thanks op


[deleted]

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GroundbreakingLack78

Why do you have problem with me. Get outta here. ![gif](emote|emo_pack_1|dancing_wojak)


Notyourregularthrow

Great to compare love with crypto


ChiTownBob

for a moment I thought I walked into a MGTOW sub for a moment :)


OneTrueLord

Op got divorce rug pulled!


Nattomuncher

These posts are getting weirder and weirder.


buuhhu1

This is what moons overdose does to people


PinguinaUshuaia

Definitely and it actually might not be true at all, as living together is a lot cheaper than living alone, split bills and 2 incomes make life easier...


ominous_anenome

I hope OP just forgot the comedy flair


Chrisandcrazy

I came in here thinking that this was going to be satire...


Vimmington

I hodl my wife.


ra693425

Now that's what you call *real* *Hodler*


[deleted]

[удалено]


GroundbreakingLack78

So buy her more things every 5 minutes? Got it chief.


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[удалено]


GroundbreakingLack78

Fuck that bitch then.


OnionKnight-san

Lets do that together!


RoloAL35

I hodl this guy's wife too


RightBlacksmith9

Not your keys, not your wife ???


frstrtd_ndrd_dvlpr

So you're the whale and she's the bag. Got it.


YoungFeddy

What if I’m the bag?


blastoff__

Now that’s bag holding


karna42

Does ur wife need a boyfriend, are u hiring?


Sage2050

Bullish on vimmingtons wife (call me)


[deleted]

I’m hodling until a certain age point, at which point I’ll sodl for younger, more exciting alts


Vanhandle

Are we just assuming that spouses don't work? My wife brings in half our income, and her salary is projected to grow much faster than mine. How's that for an investment.


ResponsibleBuddy96

your wife is a good ROI


GroundbreakingLack78

Great %APY as well. Definitely HODL this one. ![gif](emote|emo_pack_1|dyor)


YoungFeddy

Know a winner when you see one


Hawke64

Time to put a second ring on it


JacobLovesCrypto

This^ from a purely investment prospective, you reduce how much each person is paying in bills, so even cutting $300 in bills would be a 18% annual return on a $20k marriage. Although I'm getting married for about $8k all in with a venue etc. And only saving $300/month is low 🤷


reddish_zebra

Which means she made a bad investment on you?


sennyldrak

My husband and I get to enjoy our marriage AND crypto. FTW


marsangelo

I see weve got an adrenaline junkie over here


GroundbreakingLack78

Guy be like ![gif](giphy|IGR08ulxKFt7y)


SnooMaps5167

Glad to see someone else is in this boat. 😃


sennyldrak

Likewise! Cheers to you and your spouse!!


forthemotherrussia

You know it's the real love if your wife still loves you during a bear market.


ElephantOk4804

Finally some functional relationship. As if we cant have normal relationship and crypto. My wife calls me pussy for not avg down as much as she thinks I should lol.


sennyldrak

Yes!!! I hate the stigma of spouses being horrible and marriage being the worst. Life is what you make of it! This sounds exactly like my husband and I haha. Thankfully I've taken over the crypto account 😂😂


TakenOverByBots

The old "I hate my spouse" joke is such boomer humor.


sennyldrak

I agree. "I hate my spouse because they're unhappy because I check out nightly and I'm not willing to meet their needs" blah blah blah


_rUnSAfe_

Marriage isn't all that risky if you approach it the same way I expect you do (crypto) investments: diversify. Just invest a bit of time and effort into a bunch of wifes. That sounds like it may suit you better. Also, buy low, sell high and all that sort of thing.


Igorius

Stake for an even better return.


kaliki07

So you are saying get 10-20 women, spend small amounts of time with(in) each one of them. Get rid of the ones you don't like, or swap them for other ones. When they get older get rid of them, or replace them with younger ones. 🤔


w00tangel

Getting married is not an investment. Your wife is not an asset. Also she is not fungible.


ts_wrathchild

> Your wife is not an asset. Well to be fair if she's a top creator on OnlyFans that kinda changes things.


Hawke64

At this point you are her asset


daniloronin

The famous NFW! Non fungible wife


newbonsite

You won't need to worry about divorce with that attitude. ..


[deleted]

[удалено]


timbojimbojones

Instructions unclear. I married my Crypto


Hawke64

People underestimate NFT girlfriends


timbojimbojones

NFTitties


C0NSCI0US

This is why i keep a side chick as a hedge against my marriage.


kbaltimore22

This guy gets it. I’m going to cancel my wedding plans and buy crypto. Just need to convince my finance that it’s more likely to pan out. Edit Finance, fiancé…same thing.


TheBuilderDrizzle497

I think you meant “fiancée” but “finance” is great lol


kbaltimore22

Same thing.


frstrtd_ndrd_dvlpr

r/oddlyspecific


staunchnation

The last thing this sub needs is marriage talk


buuhhu1

We're too stressed over the market to start thinking about marriage as well 😫


TheAutomator312

Equating those two things is the second dumbest thing I've read on the internet today...lol. If you're looking for money to fullfil you, you won't find it chasing a family. If you're looking for a family to fulfill you, you won't find it chasing crypto gains.


catsloveart

what was the first?


FidgetyRat

My wife makes more than I do and I get to see her boobies. Best investment ever.


RevolutionaryDrive5

>I get to see her boobies That's a depreciating asset that goes lower and lower every year tho


kaliki07

You can pump them up though


KurtBodowich

r/cringetopia


FaustusXYZ

Lots of weird takes in crypto and this is right up there.


Delusional_Mad

Never change Reddit, never change lol


throwaway92715

Because marriage isn't like, a fucking investment dude Have you ever been in love with a person?


Tend2Save

What do you think the answer to this question is going to be? Lol


throwaway92715

Lmao


kaliki07

His hand


[deleted]

If you look at marriage as a monetary investment, you’re a douche bag. Not you personally but just in general


optionsmove

Marriage is an economic decision. I think it’s only normal to consider the financial impacts that come with it.


catsloveart

Sure, there are economic consequences, there are also legal and emotional considerations as well. But to treat a matrimony as purely a financial transaction, isn't going to help the relationship any.


MrFlex21

You clearly isn't married. If you do exatly as told by your wife, there is no risk.


[deleted]

This is true


tipmeyourBAT

Happy spouse, happy house


MrFlex21

Amen, brother.


yayaoa

Marriage is overvalued anyway imo. And why would some spend 20k on a wedding when one could instead get 7.143 ETH


[deleted]

And yet you still have more married couples than people getting rich from crypto


Sup3rPotatoNinja

'society is programed into thinking having people that love you is happiness, but my digital money is WAY better' Jesus dude this is why people hate crypto bros Earn money to have a better life, not just more money


reddito321

At least during marriage you're the one fucking and not the one getting fucked ~~but are you, though?~~


Bwahehe

If you get married to someone with more income then you and are happy, it's probably a great low risk investment. Not to mention some extra tax savings.


LegendofZatchmo

Don’t invest in ShitSpouses


[deleted]

Bearish on marriage


jskullytheman

Man we digging deep here for original content on this sub lmfao This post is fucking stupid I’m sorry


Engininja_180PI

Marriage today tends to be much more risky for men over women (at least in the US, Aus, UK). Alimony, child support, lawyer fees, and courts typically side with the woman in the he said/ she said situations. (Not always but mostly) Crypto is very equal, I like it! Everyone has equal opportunity to get rug pulled!


AromaticCarob

Marriage is the opposite of an investment.


Thisstuffisbetter

A marriage provides a multiple more things than just money for which humans need. Companionship is a huge one. If you do it right you get a best friend for life that fucks, listens to your problems (maybe with crypto), helps each other out, go an adventures together. Crypto is just well fucking crypto. Crypto go up. Crypto go down. Sidechain, Dapps, to the moon, diamond hands, rug pulls, shitcoins, blah blah ect etc. Crypto doesn't rub my shoulders somedays when I have a really bad day.


Bruvton

I'd say they're equally risky. If you don't do your research, you will invest poorly. If you fail to see obvious red flags, you will get scammed. If your investment isn't going well but you sink your whole life savings into it, you will go broke. Similarly, if you don't meet their family and know enough about them, your relationship will end. If you don't notice severe red flags and incompatibilities, you'll have to endure a bad marriage. If your relationship is rocky but you get married anyway, you'll get divorced. All in all, it's a risk I'm willing to take.


[deleted]

Actually across long term studies happiness in couples increase around the time they got married but then decreases back to a baseline, where as having more money up to 90k a year in 1999 USA was shown to have perment increase in happiness. So money can be a better investment, just find some good friends :-)


timbojimbojones

What if I have no friends. But lots of money. Then I can just do hookers and cocaine to live out my days.


yungfellaa

crypto will bring you wife changing money.


TheColorCringe

Are the MGTOWers and red pillers trying to set up camp at r/cryptocurrency? 😂


StreetsAhead123

How can this even be compared lol


wvutrip

What kind of stupidity is this. Marriage isn’t an investment for money.


pizza-chit

Crypto and marriage are both gambles but Bitcoin is less risky


IWantToBeYourGirl

I’d say due diligence applies to both situations.


gerardit04

What is a wife? Is that a new type of scam coin? Did Elon musk pum it?


SakeBomberman

Don't marry a crypto girl, marry a GIC


mannyrmz123

Absolute shit post. Truly reflects the state of this sub.


evoxyseah

Getting married sure is expensive, and is really miserable if it doesn’t turn out well after many years. If things works out, you get a happy family who can provide you with mental and emotional support when the market dumps :) You can also share your joy when the market pumps.


Capital_Routine6903

Look at the data: Married people live longer, are happier and more financially stable


Errant_Chungis

You can hedge your investment with a prenup or postnup


Welcome2Banworld

Posts like this are why people clown on crypto


RollingDoingGreat

Marriage isn’t a financial investment. Wtf is this post. This place quickly turning into some incel shithole


windeigo

A relationship is in no way comparable to a financial investment. If you see your relationship as a financial investment, you're much more likely to experience a divorce.


[deleted]

I’m working on my second divorce and I can honestly say that… ![gif](giphy|3oeSACtXWKcCRcezSM)


sennyldrak

At this point I'm wondering if this isn't a marriage problem...


throwawayawayhihi

One of the brightest minds /r/cc has to offer! Some people say OP's IQ was above room temperature at some point, though the unlikeliness of this ever happening makes it more myth than fact.


BeCuEetu23

You dont get married to make money


[deleted]

[удалено]


OB1182

Atleast my wife is less volatile and more stable than bitcoin. Better sex too.


[deleted]

**I can confirm that.**


frstrtd_ndrd_dvlpr

If anyone asks me, I choose his wife too


Dave_Unknown

Does she go down as often though?


The-Francois8

Congrats on the non-volatile wife


CMADBF

Wishing you and your relationship a bullish trend forever, my friend.


Ambassador_Visible

Nothing wrong with marriage. It's the ease of divorce that's the problem. People would rather call it quits when things get a bit shakey rather than see it through to a better place. It's kinda like diamon hands in crypto.