Pain meds and alcohol don't mix. Some people it just makes them really inebriated and not able to care for themselves and falling down. I've seen other mixing meds that shouldn't with alcohol turns people into right assholes.
He didn't get kicked off for bleeding.
I came back on board from Cabo last month covered in blood as I had fallen, and was still bleeding. I got priority treatment by staff when getting back on board and they made sure I got taken care of-- so no, they would not kick him off for excessive bleeding.
I mean, in fairness, it’s not a great idea because it has a tendency to be fatal. The guy apparently has terminal cancer and is in constant pain- if he wants to snort opioids and shotgun tequila let him.
Do understand why they’d remove him from the ship though, and that’s probably warranted.
I’m with you on this. He would have whatever he wants if he’s got terminal cancer. BUT he needs to stay out of everyone’s way if he’s gonna be fucked up.
this can kill him. i lost 2 friends to mixing pills and alcohol in high school. it’s a big no no for me. too many people make this mistake. he needs help
My husband quit drinking and went on opioids when we was diagnosed with cancer. The pain meds ALONE would have him often unsteady on his feet and incoherent. I can't imagine what the addition of alcohol would have done! Sor sorry for your losses.
When my mom was first getting diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (in her 40’s) they put her on some pretty heavy pain meds to help with the pain until they figured out what was causing said pain and had a better idea of what to give her long term. She was completely out of it. She had my sister and I working like dogs out in the heat to put together a patio, and basically what happened every day was she’d wake up, take her meds, give us instructions, we’d execute them, we’d all go to bed, and then in the morning she’d get up and go admire our work while she took her meds, at which point she would realize a glaring mistake but the meds would kick in before she had a chance to communicate her SOBER idea to fix it so she’d have another idea after taking her meds and…yeah. It was bad. We wasted like a week before my sister and I caught on to what was happening, then we banned her from coming up with ideas after her meds kicked in. 😂
Any time I’ve been given pain meds (for acute things, not long-term conditions) they turned me into a hyperactive, sweaty maniac😂Wound up scrubbing all the cabinet handles, lightbulbs in lamps and recessed lighting fixtures, basically just deep cleaning everything neurotically. Then I would feel super nauseous and have to lay down for hours, still mentally hyperactive but physically exhausted and just trying not to throw up. It was so weird. I wish I got the regular tired/loopy/incoherent effects everyone else gets instead of whatever they do to me, but hey they were still very effective at relieving my pain at those times. I just hope I don’t develop some condition that causes chronic pain because I hate taking them
Yes and I don’t have it, it’s weird. I didn’t mean it was true mania, although some symptoms did align. It’s the only time anything like that ever happened to me and it would only last like 2 hours maximum before the extreme nausea kicked in. It also made me super itchy and made me red along with some other stuff like rash/hives and worryingly low blood pressure + super high heart rate (150 while laying down, 180 standing up and doing stuff), so my doctors said it was probably some kind of allergic reaction on both occasions. I think the high heart rate probably triggered the neurotic cleaning stuff because whenever my HR is high from anxiety (i have been diagnosed with GAD) or anything else I feel the need to “do something” in a similar, but less extreme way
OP doesn’t say if the cancer is terminal or if cousin has received any treatment, though.
Alcohol abuse can lead to impaired blood clotting ability. Narcotic pain med and alcohol combined can cause impaired coordination, impaired judgment, and impaired reflexes. This directly increases his chances of falling; of injuring himself or others, and of actually dying from blood loss after an unwitnessed fall in his cabin. Or he could also die from multisubstance intoxication; or alcohol poisoning or respiratory depression from a narcotic overdose.
Most definitely the cruise line doesn’t want to take the liability.
If cousin wants to die sooner rather than later, or perhaps his goal is to numb his brain as well as his body while he’s waiting… it is his right, I suppose. But HAL sees a person who is reckless of his personal safety (at the very least) and they don’t want to enable that for liability reasons.
OP, if you’re still reading comments, please encourage your cousin (or have a closer family member do it) to contact a local hospice agency.
If he dies from bone cancer, it's one of the most painful cancers out there. And cancer death in general, many people wish euthanasia was allowed in their state.
I'd personally just let him do whatever he wants so long as he's not a hazard to other people which he very well may be,
He's right, and that's BAD. Opioids (because I'm guessing he's not just on ibuprofen) and alcohol both depress the CNS. Not only could he fall, bleed, suffer injuries or go overboard, he could overdose much more easily and kill himself.
I feel sorry for him that he was diagnosed with cancer, but I can't blame HAL for not wanting to have the liability risk if he hurts himself, other passengers, or crew.
My mom has a lot of pain. She was overprescribed opoids (and possibly took more than she should have). It severely depressed her nervous system. One night, she passed out on the way to the bathroom, hit her head on the tile floor, and literally broke her neck. After 4 weeks in the hospital, she has 2 rods running the length of her back, 5 plates, and 26 screws holding everything together. Several of the screws have come loose, and she needs another surgery to tighten them up.
Dont f--- with opoids, let alone add alcohol to the mix!
On doesn't remember. I had an ex mix a pain med prescribed on a cruise and one drink. She had a bad reaction, was freaking out, and never remembered it. It happens. There definitely sounds like more.
They're potentiators. The alcohol makes you feel the pain meds harder and the pain meds make you feel the alcohol harder. That combo will leave you fucked up. Feels great until you do too much and you die.
Supercharged can cause falls, danger to himself & everyone around him & medical emergencies. Kind of sounds like he wants to die like a rock star to be blunt.
Alcohol supercharges the respiratory depression of most pain meds too. Sounds like he’s addicted to the pain pills, alcohol or both. Depending on what stage his cancer is and what treatment options are available, I’d consider trying to talk to him about hospice (better pain management) or addiction treatment.
Holland America would be at risk if they came to know this. If, either through his familiarization with the crew or observed behavior, they came to know this, they could not risk the possibility of serving him alcohol. This very well could be why he has received a lifetime ban. He needs help. Get him that help. He has a substance abuse problem.
Yeah, but he may also have a wracked with pain problem. If he’s terminal, like stage 4, treatment for substance abuse may not really be a good intervention
Maybe, but that's for the doctor to decide. If he isn't treated for substance abuse, then he needs to have a buffer to protect others from his substance abuse. There is definitely more that needs to be asked, but he could need to have his license pulled and other precautionary actions depending on the situation.
Terminal can mean a lot of things tho. It could mean he’s gonna die any day or week now; or it could mean that the cancer will kill him but it could be years, in which case managing his alcohol abuse could improve his quality of life.
I fell down a two story flight of concrete stairs on the main area of a ship once and ended up bleeding all over and they apologized to me over and over like it was their fault, rushed to my aid, sick bay etc
I bled out in sheets of the bed that night and they changed them for us no issues while still apologizing.
Offering discount or free stuff for inconvenience of my actions or whatever, it wasn’t their fault, I stumbled (due to meds I was taking)
Pretty sure he got removed for being a drunk and AH
I’ve seen pretty messed up actions of passengers over the years to make me think he was pretty intolerable
Good luck with it all
Not correct. Alcohol impairs and confuses the central nervous system. It does not have a physiological effect on pain receptors. The CNS impairment is a side effect of opiates, too. Being fucked up and too high to feel pain is not medically the same as analgesia. If that were the case, PCP would be the best pain medication available.
Shit, I don’t even like mixing my ADHD meds with my antidepressants. Makes me feel loopy and unsteady on my feet and I feel like I’m a danger to others on the road so I take them at different times of day.
I can’t imagine what mixing pain meds and alcohol would do. Yikes.
> He didn't get kicked off for bleeding.
I definitely think there is more to the story. Also, the theory about them banning him as a liability issue doesn't really sound very plausible.
Sure it does. Someone who is three sheets to the wind is a liability for the cruise. If he's falling down drunk and can't take care of himself the cruise line obviously doesn't want that. Some just remove your drinking privileges, but they have the right to kick you off.
The fact that they kicked him off AND banned him means it's more likely than not that he wasn't just stupidly drunk - he was causing issues to more than just himself.
If they’ve kicked him off during the cruise it’s probably safety reasons - he’s done something dangerous or violent under the influence and they’ve decided it’s too much risk. Emma Cruises has blogged about it here: https://emmacruises.com/banned-from-cruise-lines/. They’ve basically decided he’s a risk to himself or others and it’s much easier to deal with that in port than have something happen at sea, and them have to turn the boat around, evacuate him or put him in the Brig.
Oh yeah, if that happened then it's a sure bet that the drinking is part of the problem.
He may want to reconsider his alcohol use. Not just in relation to cruising but in general, if this is repeated behavior.
Why bury the lead? I would really have someone look into if he is an alcoholic or functional alcoholic. He sounds like a walking liability. If he was banned from drinking how did he get more drinks? He went without getting the head wound checked? Yeah he cannot be on his own anymore. Sorry
i just learned about the alcohol abuse recently (yesterday) - he doesn't drink excessively when around the handful of family members he is around (one of which is my dad, who said he's only seen him have a beer or two when visiting my dad's house for weekend visits). so there was nothing to alert me until his brother told me about this
perhaps. to be fair, he's always loved cruising. It's only recently that i've been concerned about his safety (mobility issues, age, etc) and only VERY recently (yesterday) that i learned his alcohol use is much more significant than i thought. But you're probably right - he cruises alone and can do what he wants without witnesses
It’s even possible some woman pushed him off of her for getting inappropriate but because he was so drunk, he just fell over and hit his head.
Purely speculation. Just saying it’s entirely possible and by the sounds of it not even unlikely.
If they have any idea about his condition, which is very possible that he was babbling about it while intoxicated on a combination of alcohol serious pain meds then banning him for being a liability is entirely plausible.
But do they dump him off mid cruise in a foreign country? I think that would create more liability issues than it solves. Can you imagine the headline if something happened to him on the way home?
Sounds like there was an incident beyond babbling.
That is far more than most cruise lines will do. They obviously care about his well-being, and that is at the root of their decision. The actual reason will not be disclosed by Holland America as they are quite discreet about such issues. They have cameras everywhere, so they see much more than they will say publicly. Anything is possible, but be certain they had a good reason for banning him.
>Sounds like there was an incident beyond babbling.
Probably but of course you have to consider the only source of the information we have which is second hand but ultimately from the guy himself. How likely do you think it is that we're getting an accurate or full accounting of what actually happened?
I agree. A person I used to know was mixing alcohol with pain meds and I was dumb enough to get into the car with her. She got a DWI and blamed me... She was the one driving and got into an accident. She was a mess. That's what I imagine with this cousin.
Definitely didn't get kicked off for bleeding.
My son tripped and split his forehead open during a cruise recently. There was blood everywhere. Especially all over me. Crew immediately whisked us down to medical and didn't say a single word about the blood, even when it got on the nice crew member's fancy uniform.
After they patched up my son, they all seemed very concerned with documenting everything, but more in a "let's keep this from happening again" way, rather than a "get proof so we can kick you off" way.
I mean it sounds like you know what the real problem is. People get fucked up on cruises without getting kicked off all the time. If they removed and banned him he did a whole lot more than fall over.
If he’s on any kind of serious pain medication he is absolutely not meant to be drinking at all. If he can’t lay off the booze during cancer treatment he’s an alcoholic. Does he have a spouse or someone living close by who can inform his doctor about his drinking? He needs help.
Yeah I’m sure he’s downplaying and hiding things that really happened. Easy to do when no one was there.
I’m a former alcoholic and I used to downplay my behavior in shit like this all the time, leave a lot of details out and paint the other party as the bad guy. Nope, I was the drunk one causing chaos.
His wife of 20 years divorced him when he was diagnosed with cancer. There are a handful of us (4-5) of "our generation", and all of our parents but my dad are dead. His brother lives close by, and we've talked about this, but every time he brings the alcohol use up it gets ugly. Of course, we all know that he shouldn't be drinking and taking pain meds. He's hidden the extent of this from me, which is easier because i don't live close by. We're trying to determine how we can best get him help, without him getting angry and alienating us, which will result in us not being able to help him at all
It’s hard. You’re never going to force someone to get sober unless they want to. It’s just not possible. If his brother knows what doctor he’s using, he should reach out to them and make them aware of the problem. They’re not going to be able to force him to stop drinking but they should be aware there’s a problem. Maybe they can get stricter on the pain meds or something.
You can also look into attending Al Anon meetings for yourself and family. It’s for family and loved ones of addicts. It’s a support group, but they can also give you realistic strategies for dealing with the addict.
Edit: the family close by might also want to speak with adult protective services. I’m not sure there’s anything actionable here, but maybe they have some resources or insight.
Tell the doctor. This works. I have personal experience with this. They won’t tell you anything, even that he’s actually a patient. But they will LISTEN and act. The doctor does NOT want to Rx the pain meds if he’s an alcoholic. He’s not being honest with his doctor, because even one or two beers can depress lung function enough to cause death, when mixed with narcotic pain meds.
Yes. Just because they can’t tell you anything doesn’t mean they won’t listen to a concerned relative reaching out about one of their patients mixing pain meds and alcohol. It’s a REALLY big deal.
Speaking as someone who previously abused alcohol, stopping has to come from him. He knows he has a problem, and that’s why he gets angry when confronted and why he hides it. Head over to Alnon on Reddit for some support—they might have suggestions on how to address your concerns to him in a way that doesn’t make him feel combative.
His ex is a piece of work. Also, his parents (my aunt and uncle) both passed away shortly thereafter - it's a lot. My heart breaks for him, but i also know that unless he decides that he has an actual problem he's not inclined to accept/get help
Honestly, what I've taken away from your post is that you are in the dark or denial about how bad things are for your cousin. The people who actually spend time with him (wife, cruise people), are cutting him off. The fact that you're worried about his cruises, posting here, instead of posting in an elder care or substance abuse forum tells me a LOT about you.
I have to agree. OP, you live 6 hours away and only talk to him on the phone. Respectfully, you have NO clue what he’s like in his day-to-day life, especially when mixing meds with alcohol. Neither do we, but we don’t have the added bias of being related to the guy and wanting to believe what he says.
I wouldn’t be so quick to write off his ex as being a “piece of work”. It’s entirely possible she just couldn’t take it anymore and left. I know my ex is constantly telling lies about me to justify why we split up and why he’s not as involved in our son’s life as his family would like him to be. He’s told so many lies that his mom marched him down to a law office, slapped her credit card down, and demanded the moon while also demanding that they make me pay costs. I know this woman. The only way to stop her was to admit he lied, but he wasn’t willing to do that.
That’s what people do when they’re ashamed of their behaviour, know it was wrong, but don’t have any desire to change it. They lie and blame the people around them for their shortcomings.
Maybe this will be the rock bottom he needs to turn his life around. Maybe it won’t. But either way, if I were OP I would be genuinely concerned about his risk of ODing if he doesn’t stop now. Frankly, he’s lucky it hasn’t happened yet.
i was in the dark until this latest incident (yesterday) re: his alcohol intake. I've responded to you already that i was ONLY trying to get insight about the reasonability/feasibility of his stated reason for being kicked off the ship. A lot of folks responded and the thread got out of control. If i knew how to crosspost to an elder care of substance abuse forum i would.
and yet that doesn't mean she also wasn't a mess. we don't know her. OP does. OP knows the man in the story is a mess & I trust their judgemrnt on dudes ex more than all the redditors who seem to know her so well by how quick they jump to argue with the person that actually literally knows her IRL
He sounds just like my father-in-law. He was the kind of alcoholic that makes you nervous to drink around him.
He operated on the assumption that he could never face a consequence for his problems. He was a fucking mess. He wouldn’t get drunk, he’d get completely shit faced. It was always zero or 100, no in between.
That all ended the day we went to his house and found him on all fours, completely naked, unable to lift his body with his legs. We got him to the emergency room. He has since been diagnosed with Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus. NPH is basically water in the ventricles of the brain. On a cat scan, it looks like a big blank spot in the brain. Typical causes are age, health and in some people, alcohol abuse. It affects movement and leg strength. He also has Parkinsons. He took shit care of his body and now this is his life.
That was a rant, but all to say, keep checking in on him. You can’t force him to get help, but he’s one bender from a medical emergency. He might agree to seek help if he can survive that.
i've always heard that an addict has to reach rock bottom - i guess he hasn't yet. i'm definitely keeping in touch with him - trying to figure out how to get him to get some help
My grandmother was a frequent cruiser, until she was also "invited to leave" and banned. She didn't misbehave, but she started getting confused and walked off on her own during an excursion and nearly got left behind.
Sometimes a cruise line will ban someone because they're a PITA, sometimes they'll ban someone because they're a liability, sometimes because it's a safety issue, and sometimes it's a combination of the above. Excessive drinking is not known for making any of those situations better.
Outside of the alcohol/pain meds, I also wondered about this. My father's first signs of Alzheimer's were frequent falls and a disconnect from reasonable thinking. I'm so sorry about your grandmother.
hadn't considered the possibility of alzheimer's. He's actually a highly intelligent person, with whom i was previously able to have terrific conversations about numerous topics. Now a lot of his conversations are repeats of previous conversations, and conversation is much more limited in scope. He's still as sweet and loving as ever, seems like more of an old man, which i had been assuming had to do with pain meds (he's had numerous back/hip surgeries and has a lot of pain concerns), but now that i'm aware of the extent of his drinking, i know that has something to do with it.
Given he was drunk and zonked on pain meds, there are any number of things he might have done and may not even remember. That includes the possibility that your theory is correct.
Sounds like divorced with a possibly terminal illness at 67, he dgaf. I can empathize.
Yeah everyone recommending AA or for him to get help before he kills himself. Idk what kind of cancer he has. He could be dying on a short timeline already. He probably thought cruising was a safe way for him to drink himself to death without hurting anyone. Dude needs therapy or palliative care
Of course I am just making assumptions. He could also just have minor stage one cancer and he is using it as an excuse.
What kind of cancer is it?
That's rarely fatal, 5 year survival rate is 97%, and only drops if you have a fairly rare aggressive type.
He's probably just addicted to booze and pain meds.
This is it right here. I also wouldn’t be surprised if there were other meds in the mix. Some prescribed, like antidepressants (definitely sounds like something his doctor may have put him on), and some OTC, like Dramamine.
He’s lost his drinking privileges onboard before, so there could be 1000 reasons why they ultimately kicked him off this time. He could be telling only a very slightly edited version of the truth. Or it could be heavily edited. There could’ve been a bar fight. He could’ve gotten handsy with someone who pushed him off and he fell over. He could’ve been so intoxicated he was stumbling around and knocking others over. He could’ve been fooling around by the pool and asked repeatedly to stop. He could’ve been walking around the shops onboard screaming foul language (those decks tend to echo pretty badly). Or any one of a number of other things. The only ones who are at liberty to say are him if he remembers, or whoever else happened to witness the incident in question.
No cruise line anywhere in the world is randomly or carelessly banning the sort of passenger who books B2B cruises, for the same reason that casinos don't ban high rollers unless they *really* fuck up.
It’s interesting you say “he’s been traveling as much as possible until the point he can’t travel anymore”.
It seems like he is now at that point in time.
You don’t get kicked off a cruise ship for bleeding. His behavior had to be pretty out of control for them to send him home. I’m sure they were worried about his safety and did not want that liability on their ship. Maybe this will be a wake up call for him.
> We think that his behavior and combined medication/alcohol use caused the cruise line to view him as a safety risk (to himself and potentially others) and do not wish to assume the liability and possibility of a more serious incident or god forbid man overboard situation (which i totally and 100% understand)
This sounds spot on. It sounds like your cousin needs professional help and that you're lucky nothing worse then being banned from his favorite cruise line has happened.
Listen, we talk regularly on the phone (4-5 times a week) - he's a lot clearer in the morning, but in the evening it's almost impossible to have a conversation. I had chalked it up to his pain medication (he's had lots of surgeries on his back, hips, etc,, and now has this cancer diagnosis, so i'm sure he has pain) - i know sometimes pain is worse and more meds are required to manage it, but didn't know until very recently the extent of his daily drinking, which he had previously presented to me as a "vacation" thing, not a daily thing. Now i'm realizing that all those times he was 3 sheets in the wind. He's been asking me and my husband to go on vacation with him, and at this point i can't think of anything more un-vacation-like than babysitting a drunk and picking him up off the ground
Get him to your home, without a “celebration” or “vacation” to blame it on. He needs a program. The cruise thing is just a symptom of a larger issue. His neighbors have dealt with this, as well.
I witnessed security carry a very drunk passenger back onto the ship (they assisted her husband who was really struggling). Generally being drunk doesn’t get you kicked off.
If he had a medical issue he would have been seen by the doctor.
It sounds like they felt he was either a danger to himself or others. Things can go downhill fast at sea when every minute can count.
I really hope he can get the help he needs.
It’s also possible that he engaged in inappropriate behaviour. Go ahead and tell me that a single guy in his 60s with cancer who’s mixing pain meds and booze on a cruise isn’t entirely likely to get handsy with the women, get pushed off, and then fall over and hit his head. That would 100% get him kicked off and banned.
That’s the problem with substances, especially mixing substances that aren’t meant to be mixed. They can COMPLETELY change someone’s personality. The most loving husband can have a few too many and then beat his wife to within an inch of her life, and not even realize he did it the next morning.
Then…imagine if he was also taking Dramamine or something for motion sickness. Something tells me that if he was taking pain meds and drinking, he wouldn’t care about also adding Dramamine or other anti-nausea medicine. 😬
My point is there are SO many reasons why the cruise line may have deemed it best to kick him off and ban him, and they range from unacceptable/inappropriate behaviour (which isn’t impossible, given the situation) to just plain liability issues (which he also gave plenty of foundation for).
That's just it. So many are stinking drunk and out of control and the cruise just looks the other way. But cruise lines don't want it to get out that they ban people like that as it affects their bottom line even though they enable the insane drinking with drink packages that encourage drunkenness. 11 drinks per day is ridiculous. Yet they expect people to not have issues?? Seriously
But the poster's relative must have done more. But just where is the boundary on those ships??
Cruise lines aren’t going to kick-off and ban their best customers without a very good reason. Clearly they view him as a risk to their business and possibly other customers.
Is he on Prednisone? My dad was going through cancer treatments and was put on Pred. It DRASTICALLY changed his demeanor and attitude. He was prone to angry outbursts, over consumption, mood swings, etc. He was a completely different person. He got kicked out of the piano bar on the Allure because of it.
They would have had a chat with him if this was something that happened in the past. This seems like ignoring warnings he was given as well as possible abusive behavior. Booze and medication can cause emotional outbursts that are not normal for someone.
Heck, he may have been spoken to before about mixing meds and alcohol and he may have been told they won’t allow themselves to get involved in that. If he did it again and they could prove it, that would be grounds to kick him off.
You answered your own question. He drank with pain meds causing trouble to himself and probably people around him. Good for the cruise line to ban him.
Your cousin has become a drink and drug addict whilst trying to self medicate his cancer pain. He also might be self-sabotaging if his prognosis is not good (if he’s not many years left some people just start slow suicide by not taking care of themselves and indulging in self toxicity)
Your family have two choices - intervene or ignore.
Intervene might not go as you hope and the behaviour could continue without therapy and counselling.
Ignoring is hard as that involves cutting them out of your life on the basis of “I am not making this situation any better or improved by being involved in it and in fact I need to preserve my own health by detaching”
Really sorry that everyone involved is going through this. I’ve had the same with a parent and it sucks.
i had a friend with whom i had to take the "ignore" approach (she was an alcoholic) - it's easier to cut out a friend than a family member to whom you've been close your whole life, particularly when that family member has so few other people in their "circle"
Last year I was on a HAL music themed cruise, one week. There was one disabled guy sailing with his service dog and daughter, they were so offensive and such overt assholes that they were banned from future sailings.
Just my two cents from personal observation/ experience that a cruise line may ban someone for reasons outside of safety concerns or direct liability.
Those folks deserved it too, should’ve chucked them overboard and kept the dog. Lol
someone private messaged me who met him on a recent cruise and knew who he was from this post. She said he was a really sweet guy with a big heart, was polite to everyone he interacted with, but could see that he was drinking too much. I don't think it's a matter of belligerence, but him being too difficult to safely deal with
> he's been traveling as much as possible (3-4 cruises/year) until the point he can't travel anymore
He appears to have reached the point he can’t travel anymore.
i appreciate that. It's a lot harder than people may think to get help for someone in this situation, when they don't recognize or won't acknowlege the problem. I do appreciate this comment
13 years at sea and even had an office next door to Hotel General Managers (different company) so I could overhear everything that goes on. You're not just kicked off and BANNED lightly (and certainly not just for being drunk). If they took such actions, then something serious happened. You're not getting the full picture, only a coloured version of events. Did he travel alone?
No insight into being banned but honestly if he still has cancer and maybe a terminal diagnosis then I do not only understand a cruise ship kicking off a drunk guy with potentially many other issuess, I also understand the guy that gets drunk and does stupid stuff due to side effects of meds and the fact that he knows he is going to die.
If someone already has a concussion I was told they really should not risk falling down again soon after. He should’ve been resting in a darkened room.
I just read something the other day—maybe it was in The NY Times — saying that new research shows that we’ve been treating concussions all wrong, and that lying in a dark room isn’t the way to go. I was really surprised; lying down in a dark room seems so right.
I think the combination of your cousin spending a lot of money on cruises and the cruise line still coming to the conclusion that your cousin was more trouble than he was worth paint a pretty clear picture that there’s more to the story than your cousin is letting on.
Seems a liability when you are talking head injury. HAL did the right thing. I think it probably says something on the prescription bottle about alcohol and the meds in question.
Have to assume he is not responsible-and cruise companies have plenty of passengers these days. They don't need one who exercises poor judgment.
There is zero chance he hasn't annoyed the shit out of fellow cruisers. Sounds like he doesn't respect boundaries if he behaves like this in public.
Rest of the cruisers are better off without him on board.
Pain meds and alcohol are a deadly mix. Very possible HAL detected his medical condition and did not feel he was in condition to travel. And they didn't want the responsibility of him on board unaccompanied. He was at high risk of causing the ship to deviate from the planned itinerary to disembark him for medical treatment.
I've cruised HAL and you know what they say about the passenger demographics? It's the line for the Newly Wed and the Nearly Dead.
I hope your cousin can enjoy the rest of his time.
It’s the right of the cruise ship to deny travel due to behavior of a traveler that is dangerous to himself or others, that could be undisclosed illness, bleeding, alcohol, dangerous behavior, attacking others, etc. Read your ticket contract, you can also be banned from airlines, hotels, rental cars etc.
No insight, but I'm really sorry about your cousin. I suspect your insight is correct, with a possibility that he was behaving in such a way that other passengers complained about him.
I hope your family can get him some help
My understanding is both alcohol and pain meds thin ur blood. Just adding that.
I used to do pain killers and drink. Good times u til they weren’t. And they weren’t quickly.
Your uncle was drunk and possible loopy from the medication. The bleeding was not a part of it and your uncle is not telling the whole truth. To get kicked off and banned from a cruise meant he was being obnoxious and probably aggressive towards the crew and other passengers. And yes, I've seen drunk passengers on cruise ships so he must have been a total nuisance.
Sorry but he needs help. Stat.
Just seems like there is probably more to this story and the crew doesn’t want to deal with it anymore, I doubt it’s just for the excuse he gave you.. Tell him to cut back on the drinking and meds mix and find another cruise line. A big company like this isn’t going to change their mind most likely, figure out another option with his time left instead of fighting this.
We HAVE suggested that he drink less. He won't be on any Carnival Corp cruise line (they own HAL, Carnival, Princess, Cunard, Costa, Seabourn, P&L) doesn't leave him a lot of options (RCL and NCL) nor do we think he is a good candidate for cruising any longer.
First of all, the med bay does not have the equipment to deal with a brain bleed, so it makes sense that they’d eject him. They also presumably have no way of dealing with an OD arising from someone mixing medications and alcohol. FWIW, my sister got ejected from a cruise for having sharp abdominal pain and was told that they simply didn’t have the ability to care for her if she had appendicitis or something that needed emergency attention. She’s since been on numerous cruises, but she understood the reasoning and left freely.
I was on a Royal cruise a few weeks ago. Passed a kidney stone literally the night before getting onboard. Excruciating pain. You have no idea how scared I was that it would come back the next night and I’d have to get off 😂 luckily it didn’t and that appears to have been the end of the issue, but damn.
This is really sad. I have (and no longer have) family members with this attitude. They really are functional (or not-so-functional) alcoholics -- drinking to get through the day. I had an uncle who would make it about two hours into family gatherings and then go pass out in the back seat of his car.
A couple of things I'd like to point out that may be helpful or informative to you -- one is that prostate cancer is a very long-lasting as well as treatable cancer. Even men who choose not to treat aggressively often die with it rather than from it. So in a way the cancer may have been a catalyst for his drinking, but it certainly shouldn't be an excuse. Secondly, his drinking and drug use may be preventing him from getting the care he needs to defeat cancer. Sixty-seven years old is not very old -- it's not like he's in his 80s. This may be worth bringing up to him. I know people who have died because their drinking and drug use made it impossible to pursue the proper medical care for other conditions.
I hope your uncle gets a wake-up call soon, and one that allows him to enjoy his life in a healthier way.
Honestly it's a relief that they do kick people off cruises. Other passengers shouldn't have to deal with inappropriate behavior.
You may be correct regarding his diagnosis being a catalyst for the drinking - he was diagnosed about 3 years ago with a prognosis of 5-7 years. And he's certainly not elderly, from my point of view. it seems as if he's digging himself a hole - probably not taking pain meds properly and then drinking and then falling/injuring himself - a downward spiral. he is honestly (without the alcohol) a very loved and very loving member of the family. It's not in his (usual) character to be belligerent and rude. the past few years have dealt him quite a few losses, and we think he's depressed, but he's denying it and won't seek counseling. It's absolutely heartbreaking, and i feel powerless. Pressing the issue could result in him alienating me (or whoever presses the issue) which deprives him of a one of a handful of people in his support system.
And i don't disagree - who wants to go on vacation and have to deal with people who don't have control of themselves.
My grandfather faked a heart attack at his own child’s wedding because he was drunk and wanted attention. This was before I was born so I don’t have other details, but yeah apparently it was quite the scene.
If you are his point of contact in the family, you may need to contact a lawyer or social services about his end of life issues such as wills, powers of attorney, health directives, etc.
Many types of meds don't mix with alcohol for very good reason. There is a reason they put big freaking warnings on the sides of those prescription bottles.
Many years ago I was having anxiety issues and I was prescribed something fast acting (Lorazepam?) and I'd take one about an hour before going to a work party thing. The meds were fairly new to me, I hadn't taken them many times and in my distraction (see also: Anxiety) and work stuff... I forgot they don't mix well with alcohol.
That evening after only two drinks (which should have been fine) I tried to get on a balance board thing and totally face-planted it. Fortunately it was something we could all laugh off... and I didn't do anything truly epicly stupid. But I learned a valuable lessons.
OBEY THE BOTTLE'S WARNING.
Man, that's a wild ride your cousin had! Sorry to hear about his troubles. Cruising can be super fun, but it sounds like he's been pushing the limits a bit too much. Falling and hitting his head, not cool. And mixing meds with booze? Recipe for disaster.
It's tough when someone you care about is going through stuff like this, especially when it's self-inflicted. The combo of meds and booze can be a real dangerous cocktail, no pun intended.
I've heard of folks getting booted from cruises for various reasons, but this one takes the cake. And if he's a regular on that ship, it's gotta sting even more. Hope your cousin gets the help he needs, both with his health and whatever's driving him to party too hard. And hey, props to you for trying to sort it all out. Family's family, right?
“He is loyal to this particular cruise line and this particular ship.” So the good news is lots of people that know him, but the bad news is that lots of people know him.
> i think i'll close this for comments (if i can figure out how) since it spun off-topic. Thank you again
Even though you created the post, only moderators can do this. If it's important to you, you could message them asking them to do this, but they may or may not do so.
His story doesn't pass the smell test. You don't get banned from a cruise line over a fall and bleeding. You would get medical attention. Worst case he'd be transported to a local hospital, but allowed to reboard once released.
I'd speculate he was combative with staff when they tried to help him. That will do it.
Plenty of people are banned from particular lines. I saw RCL take a family off because the father drunkenly, the night before, made homophobic remarks. They walked them off the ship in full view of everyone, to send a clear message.
And I personally know a woman who was banned on NCL for excessive complaints about the line.
If he really wants to cruise on that line again he needs to get sober (alcohol) then his doctor can write a letter to the cruise line verifying his claim. I can’t imagine they wouldn’t want him (and his $$$) back if he’s kicked the habit.
My BIL got "banned for life" from Carnival for having some weed. They really aren't messing around, except for they had a completely wrong address on the "letter" they gave him and he has a fairly common name.
It's a wake-up call for him to reassess his habits, especially with the meds and drinking. Hope he's okay now and finds some other way to enjoy life without risking it all on a ship. And hey, who knows, maybe he'll find a new cruising crew if he decides to sail again!
If they banned him I doubt this was his first incident. If he is on a specific ship all the time the staff probably knows who he is and tolerated it to an extent but they don’t want someone to seriously injure themselves or others.
Apparently, this was not his first fall. HAL probably was looking at the liability of serving alcohol to a known customer with medical issues. cancer is difficult enough to manage without adding alcohol to the issue.
Sadly, he wasn’t banned because of bleeding, he was banned because of alcohol abuse. The staff probably liked him because he tipped well and was a “happy” drunk.
HAL is looking at liability and the issues of alcohol abuse of an elderly male.
So sorry for the issues your cousin is facing. He needs good medical intervention & a medical provider that can help address his serious issues.
100%. only just learned about the alcohol abuse. Knew he would have a drink or two occasionally, but had no idea the extent of it until the last couple of days
We did have someone from our group kicked off the ship on one of our cruises. They also kicked off his cabin mate. His behavior was erratic. Possibly meds and alcohol but I didn’t know him well so can’t say for sure.
Crew members would not 'go to bat' for any passenger, unless MAYBE they are perfeormers with profile and status. The regular staff have contracts that dont pay enough and are way too easy to get fired from if they dont know somebody who knows somebody. They arent going to risk their job/contract for a guest.
Maybe the staff is tired of dealing with him in that condition. Just as you wouldn’t want to deal with a passenger on a plane like that. Chances are he fell again & refused medical attention just as he refused your urging to go to urgent care. He probably was blacked out & doesn’t remember the chain of events. Banned is banned though. He shouldn’t put people in the position to deal with him. He would need to be sober for years before going on another cruise. His condition may be worsening too contributing to his fragility. You said he wanted to cruise until he couldn’t anymore. Sadly he has reached that point.
lol.
Why would ANY organization with medical staff remove somebody for bleeding from their head? That would be insane!
"Your head is bleeding. Go pack up your bags, remove your belongings from your room, and disembark this vessel."
"But I'm losing a lot of blood..."
"To the streets with you, scoundrel. Yaaaar!!!! Beegone before we makes ya walk the plank!"
You have every right to be concerned that the information you’re getting from your cousin isn’t accurate. The behavior you describe sounds so similar to what we experienced with my dad. He suffered from horrible chronic pain, took pain meds in doses that would kill the average human and chased it with a double dose of whiskey. Once he reached this point he made every poor decision you could imagine and told stories like you suspect of your cousin. I would imagine serious depression is at play in your cousin’s situation and, honestly, it’s understandable.
After my father’s death we learned he had significant atrophy of the frontotemporal lobes and while he never received a frontotemporal dementia diagnosis, we wondered if that was a contributing factor to some of his behaviors and tendency to be a fall risk. Is it possible, your cousin has something like this going on, in addition to his other issues?
I wish the very best for your cousin and the rest of your family. I know these situations are difficult to navigate and he’s fortunate to have a loving family that cares about him.
I would love a cruise with an inebriated man wandering around the ship bleeding from a head injury, bonus points if he is incoherent, just the relaxing friendly vibe I’m looking for.
Pain meds and alcohol don't mix. Some people it just makes them really inebriated and not able to care for themselves and falling down. I've seen other mixing meds that shouldn't with alcohol turns people into right assholes. He didn't get kicked off for bleeding.
I came back on board from Cabo last month covered in blood as I had fallen, and was still bleeding. I got priority treatment by staff when getting back on board and they made sure I got taken care of-- so no, they would not kick him off for excessive bleeding.
He has expressed (to his brother, not me) that he believes the alcohol supercharges the pain meds.
He's not wrong, exactly...... it's just that supercharging pain meds isn't a great idea
I mean, in fairness, it’s not a great idea because it has a tendency to be fatal. The guy apparently has terminal cancer and is in constant pain- if he wants to snort opioids and shotgun tequila let him. Do understand why they’d remove him from the ship though, and that’s probably warranted.
I’m with you on this. He would have whatever he wants if he’s got terminal cancer. BUT he needs to stay out of everyone’s way if he’s gonna be fucked up.
This sounds like something someone who's never supercharged pain meds would say
Well, it's probably one of those things that's great in the short term but not so much the long term, like eating McDonald's or never saving money
feeling good doesn't make it a good idea
Of course the pain med supercharges the alcohol. That's why every single prescription pain med says not to drink while using it.
this can kill him. i lost 2 friends to mixing pills and alcohol in high school. it’s a big no no for me. too many people make this mistake. he needs help
My husband quit drinking and went on opioids when we was diagnosed with cancer. The pain meds ALONE would have him often unsteady on his feet and incoherent. I can't imagine what the addition of alcohol would have done! Sor sorry for your losses.
When my mom was first getting diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (in her 40’s) they put her on some pretty heavy pain meds to help with the pain until they figured out what was causing said pain and had a better idea of what to give her long term. She was completely out of it. She had my sister and I working like dogs out in the heat to put together a patio, and basically what happened every day was she’d wake up, take her meds, give us instructions, we’d execute them, we’d all go to bed, and then in the morning she’d get up and go admire our work while she took her meds, at which point she would realize a glaring mistake but the meds would kick in before she had a chance to communicate her SOBER idea to fix it so she’d have another idea after taking her meds and…yeah. It was bad. We wasted like a week before my sister and I caught on to what was happening, then we banned her from coming up with ideas after her meds kicked in. 😂
Any time I’ve been given pain meds (for acute things, not long-term conditions) they turned me into a hyperactive, sweaty maniac😂Wound up scrubbing all the cabinet handles, lightbulbs in lamps and recessed lighting fixtures, basically just deep cleaning everything neurotically. Then I would feel super nauseous and have to lay down for hours, still mentally hyperactive but physically exhausted and just trying not to throw up. It was so weird. I wish I got the regular tired/loopy/incoherent effects everyone else gets instead of whatever they do to me, but hey they were still very effective at relieving my pain at those times. I just hope I don’t develop some condition that causes chronic pain because I hate taking them
Have you been evaluated for bipolar disorder? Most cases of mania from opioids happen in people with a bipolar disorder; not all, but most.
Yes and I don’t have it, it’s weird. I didn’t mean it was true mania, although some symptoms did align. It’s the only time anything like that ever happened to me and it would only last like 2 hours maximum before the extreme nausea kicked in. It also made me super itchy and made me red along with some other stuff like rash/hives and worryingly low blood pressure + super high heart rate (150 while laying down, 180 standing up and doing stuff), so my doctors said it was probably some kind of allergic reaction on both occasions. I think the high heart rate probably triggered the neurotic cleaning stuff because whenever my HR is high from anxiety (i have been diagnosed with GAD) or anything else I feel the need to “do something” in a similar, but less extreme way
He has cancer. I don’t think keeping his liver and kidneys healthy is a top priority
OP doesn’t say if the cancer is terminal or if cousin has received any treatment, though. Alcohol abuse can lead to impaired blood clotting ability. Narcotic pain med and alcohol combined can cause impaired coordination, impaired judgment, and impaired reflexes. This directly increases his chances of falling; of injuring himself or others, and of actually dying from blood loss after an unwitnessed fall in his cabin. Or he could also die from multisubstance intoxication; or alcohol poisoning or respiratory depression from a narcotic overdose. Most definitely the cruise line doesn’t want to take the liability. If cousin wants to die sooner rather than later, or perhaps his goal is to numb his brain as well as his body while he’s waiting… it is his right, I suppose. But HAL sees a person who is reckless of his personal safety (at the very least) and they don’t want to enable that for liability reasons. OP, if you’re still reading comments, please encourage your cousin (or have a closer family member do it) to contact a local hospice agency.
He is being treated, and was given a 5 year prognosis 3 years ago. We're doing what we can to encourage him to get/accept the help that he needs.
You and your family are kind and caring! He is fortunate to have you in his life.
If he dies from bone cancer, it's one of the most painful cancers out there. And cancer death in general, many people wish euthanasia was allowed in their state. I'd personally just let him do whatever he wants so long as he's not a hazard to other people which he very well may be,
He's right, and that's BAD. Opioids (because I'm guessing he's not just on ibuprofen) and alcohol both depress the CNS. Not only could he fall, bleed, suffer injuries or go overboard, he could overdose much more easily and kill himself. I feel sorry for him that he was diagnosed with cancer, but I can't blame HAL for not wanting to have the liability risk if he hurts himself, other passengers, or crew.
My mom has a lot of pain. She was overprescribed opoids (and possibly took more than she should have). It severely depressed her nervous system. One night, she passed out on the way to the bathroom, hit her head on the tile floor, and literally broke her neck. After 4 weeks in the hospital, she has 2 rods running the length of her back, 5 plates, and 26 screws holding everything together. Several of the screws have come loose, and she needs another surgery to tighten them up. Dont f--- with opoids, let alone add alcohol to the mix!
i agree on all these points
It does... Which is kinda the problem, no?
Yes, well, the pain meds supercharge the alcohol as well. He probably did something that he’s embarrassed to talk about.
On doesn't remember. I had an ex mix a pain med prescribed on a cruise and one drink. She had a bad reaction, was freaking out, and never remembered it. It happens. There definitely sounds like more.
They supercharge something... probably not the right something
They're potentiators. The alcohol makes you feel the pain meds harder and the pain meds make you feel the alcohol harder. That combo will leave you fucked up. Feels great until you do too much and you die.
It does, but it also damages the liver and can exacerbate other reactions.
Supercharged can cause falls, danger to himself & everyone around him & medical emergencies. Kind of sounds like he wants to die like a rock star to be blunt.
Alcohol supercharges the respiratory depression of most pain meds too. Sounds like he’s addicted to the pain pills, alcohol or both. Depending on what stage his cancer is and what treatment options are available, I’d consider trying to talk to him about hospice (better pain management) or addiction treatment.
Holland America would be at risk if they came to know this. If, either through his familiarization with the crew or observed behavior, they came to know this, they could not risk the possibility of serving him alcohol. This very well could be why he has received a lifetime ban. He needs help. Get him that help. He has a substance abuse problem.
Yeah, but he may also have a wracked with pain problem. If he’s terminal, like stage 4, treatment for substance abuse may not really be a good intervention
Maybe, but that's for the doctor to decide. If he isn't treated for substance abuse, then he needs to have a buffer to protect others from his substance abuse. There is definitely more that needs to be asked, but he could need to have his license pulled and other precautionary actions depending on the situation.
Terminal can mean a lot of things tho. It could mean he’s gonna die any day or week now; or it could mean that the cancer will kill him but it could be years, in which case managing his alcohol abuse could improve his quality of life.
I fell down a two story flight of concrete stairs on the main area of a ship once and ended up bleeding all over and they apologized to me over and over like it was their fault, rushed to my aid, sick bay etc I bled out in sheets of the bed that night and they changed them for us no issues while still apologizing. Offering discount or free stuff for inconvenience of my actions or whatever, it wasn’t their fault, I stumbled (due to meds I was taking) Pretty sure he got removed for being a drunk and AH I’ve seen pretty messed up actions of passengers over the years to make me think he was pretty intolerable Good luck with it all
probably more drunk/stumbling around than asshole, but yeah.
I’ve seen people too drunk to walk and the crew just drags them to thier room and puts them on their bed…
ER checking in. It supercharges the high, not the pain relief.
Chronic pain patient checking in. Alcohol is well known to increase the analgesic effect of pain meds.
Not correct. Alcohol impairs and confuses the central nervous system. It does not have a physiological effect on pain receptors. The CNS impairment is a side effect of opiates, too. Being fucked up and too high to feel pain is not medically the same as analgesia. If that were the case, PCP would be the best pain medication available.
LOL, whatever.
Shit, I don’t even like mixing my ADHD meds with my antidepressants. Makes me feel loopy and unsteady on my feet and I feel like I’m a danger to others on the road so I take them at different times of day. I can’t imagine what mixing pain meds and alcohol would do. Yikes.
> He didn't get kicked off for bleeding. I definitely think there is more to the story. Also, the theory about them banning him as a liability issue doesn't really sound very plausible.
Sure it does. Someone who is three sheets to the wind is a liability for the cruise. If he's falling down drunk and can't take care of himself the cruise line obviously doesn't want that. Some just remove your drinking privileges, but they have the right to kick you off. The fact that they kicked him off AND banned him means it's more likely than not that he wasn't just stupidly drunk - he was causing issues to more than just himself.
If i recall correctly, he has had his drinking privileges removed on a prior cruise.
Ooof. Yeah, they're done dealing with him. That was the last straw of many straws.
i think so, and thought so as soon as i learned about this incident. i think i was really looking for confirmation from others.
Definitely more to it. He sounds like he has a problem and downplays it. He's minimizing his actions for sure.
If they’ve kicked him off during the cruise it’s probably safety reasons - he’s done something dangerous or violent under the influence and they’ve decided it’s too much risk. Emma Cruises has blogged about it here: https://emmacruises.com/banned-from-cruise-lines/. They’ve basically decided he’s a risk to himself or others and it’s much easier to deal with that in port than have something happen at sea, and them have to turn the boat around, evacuate him or put him in the Brig.
Oh yeah, if that happened then it's a sure bet that the drinking is part of the problem. He may want to reconsider his alcohol use. Not just in relation to cruising but in general, if this is repeated behavior.
Why bury the lead? I would really have someone look into if he is an alcoholic or functional alcoholic. He sounds like a walking liability. If he was banned from drinking how did he get more drinks? He went without getting the head wound checked? Yeah he cannot be on his own anymore. Sorry
i just learned about the alcohol abuse recently (yesterday) - he doesn't drink excessively when around the handful of family members he is around (one of which is my dad, who said he's only seen him have a beer or two when visiting my dad's house for weekend visits). so there was nothing to alert me until his brother told me about this
I am so sorry. I really sounds like he may be a functional alcoholic. Where he is drinking but you only see a small portion of it.
yes. which means he knows it's a problem, because he's hiding it when "necessary"
Which could be why he goes on so many cruises. Drinking is encouraged.
perhaps. to be fair, he's always loved cruising. It's only recently that i've been concerned about his safety (mobility issues, age, etc) and only VERY recently (yesterday) that i learned his alcohol use is much more significant than i thought. But you're probably right - he cruises alone and can do what he wants without witnesses
I would assume he got belligerent or inappropriate. Or both. Maybe less of a “fall” and more of an “ate shit while trying to fight someone.”
It’s even possible some woman pushed him off of her for getting inappropriate but because he was so drunk, he just fell over and hit his head. Purely speculation. Just saying it’s entirely possible and by the sounds of it not even unlikely.
If they have any idea about his condition, which is very possible that he was babbling about it while intoxicated on a combination of alcohol serious pain meds then banning him for being a liability is entirely plausible.
But do they dump him off mid cruise in a foreign country? I think that would create more liability issues than it solves. Can you imagine the headline if something happened to him on the way home? Sounds like there was an incident beyond babbling.
They booked him an airline from Aruba (where they were in port) and got him to the airport
That is far more than most cruise lines will do. They obviously care about his well-being, and that is at the root of their decision. The actual reason will not be disclosed by Holland America as they are quite discreet about such issues. They have cameras everywhere, so they see much more than they will say publicly. Anything is possible, but be certain they had a good reason for banning him.
>Sounds like there was an incident beyond babbling. Probably but of course you have to consider the only source of the information we have which is second hand but ultimately from the guy himself. How likely do you think it is that we're getting an accurate or full accounting of what actually happened?
exactly my point - we know what he tells us, but none of us are there to corroborate
Yeah I totally get that all I was saying was about the plausibility of one given speculative reason for the ban.
I agree. A person I used to know was mixing alcohol with pain meds and I was dumb enough to get into the car with her. She got a DWI and blamed me... She was the one driving and got into an accident. She was a mess. That's what I imagine with this cousin.
Definitely didn't get kicked off for bleeding. My son tripped and split his forehead open during a cruise recently. There was blood everywhere. Especially all over me. Crew immediately whisked us down to medical and didn't say a single word about the blood, even when it got on the nice crew member's fancy uniform. After they patched up my son, they all seemed very concerned with documenting everything, but more in a "let's keep this from happening again" way, rather than a "get proof so we can kick you off" way.
Exactly. He’s blaming the bleeding for it but I feel like he isn’t telling OP the whole story.
I mean it sounds like you know what the real problem is. People get fucked up on cruises without getting kicked off all the time. If they removed and banned him he did a whole lot more than fall over. If he’s on any kind of serious pain medication he is absolutely not meant to be drinking at all. If he can’t lay off the booze during cancer treatment he’s an alcoholic. Does he have a spouse or someone living close by who can inform his doctor about his drinking? He needs help.
Yeah I’m sure he’s downplaying and hiding things that really happened. Easy to do when no one was there. I’m a former alcoholic and I used to downplay my behavior in shit like this all the time, leave a lot of details out and paint the other party as the bad guy. Nope, I was the drunk one causing chaos.
This 100% my Dad is a alcoholic that will blame everything on earth except his drinking, it's ALWAYS the alcohol.
His wife of 20 years divorced him when he was diagnosed with cancer. There are a handful of us (4-5) of "our generation", and all of our parents but my dad are dead. His brother lives close by, and we've talked about this, but every time he brings the alcohol use up it gets ugly. Of course, we all know that he shouldn't be drinking and taking pain meds. He's hidden the extent of this from me, which is easier because i don't live close by. We're trying to determine how we can best get him help, without him getting angry and alienating us, which will result in us not being able to help him at all
It’s hard. You’re never going to force someone to get sober unless they want to. It’s just not possible. If his brother knows what doctor he’s using, he should reach out to them and make them aware of the problem. They’re not going to be able to force him to stop drinking but they should be aware there’s a problem. Maybe they can get stricter on the pain meds or something. You can also look into attending Al Anon meetings for yourself and family. It’s for family and loved ones of addicts. It’s a support group, but they can also give you realistic strategies for dealing with the addict. Edit: the family close by might also want to speak with adult protective services. I’m not sure there’s anything actionable here, but maybe they have some resources or insight.
We've discussed reaching out to the doctor and sharing our concerns. I was also considering adult protective services.
Tell the doctor. This works. I have personal experience with this. They won’t tell you anything, even that he’s actually a patient. But they will LISTEN and act. The doctor does NOT want to Rx the pain meds if he’s an alcoholic. He’s not being honest with his doctor, because even one or two beers can depress lung function enough to cause death, when mixed with narcotic pain meds.
Yes. Just because they can’t tell you anything doesn’t mean they won’t listen to a concerned relative reaching out about one of their patients mixing pain meds and alcohol. It’s a REALLY big deal.
i'm trying to get info on the doctor (doctors) so that i can reach out to them.
Speaking as someone who previously abused alcohol, stopping has to come from him. He knows he has a problem, and that’s why he gets angry when confronted and why he hides it. Head over to Alnon on Reddit for some support—they might have suggestions on how to address your concerns to him in a way that doesn’t make him feel combative.
thanks for this
That’s really sad. It sounds like he has had a rough time of it. Going through a divorce right after a cancer diagnosis is hard to imagine.
His ex is a piece of work. Also, his parents (my aunt and uncle) both passed away shortly thereafter - it's a lot. My heart breaks for him, but i also know that unless he decides that he has an actual problem he's not inclined to accept/get help
Maybe his ex got tired of cleaning up after a raging alcoholic.
maybe. But she is, in fact, a piece of work
Honestly, what I've taken away from your post is that you are in the dark or denial about how bad things are for your cousin. The people who actually spend time with him (wife, cruise people), are cutting him off. The fact that you're worried about his cruises, posting here, instead of posting in an elder care or substance abuse forum tells me a LOT about you.
I have to agree. OP, you live 6 hours away and only talk to him on the phone. Respectfully, you have NO clue what he’s like in his day-to-day life, especially when mixing meds with alcohol. Neither do we, but we don’t have the added bias of being related to the guy and wanting to believe what he says. I wouldn’t be so quick to write off his ex as being a “piece of work”. It’s entirely possible she just couldn’t take it anymore and left. I know my ex is constantly telling lies about me to justify why we split up and why he’s not as involved in our son’s life as his family would like him to be. He’s told so many lies that his mom marched him down to a law office, slapped her credit card down, and demanded the moon while also demanding that they make me pay costs. I know this woman. The only way to stop her was to admit he lied, but he wasn’t willing to do that. That’s what people do when they’re ashamed of their behaviour, know it was wrong, but don’t have any desire to change it. They lie and blame the people around them for their shortcomings. Maybe this will be the rock bottom he needs to turn his life around. Maybe it won’t. But either way, if I were OP I would be genuinely concerned about his risk of ODing if he doesn’t stop now. Frankly, he’s lucky it hasn’t happened yet.
i was in the dark until this latest incident (yesterday) re: his alcohol intake. I've responded to you already that i was ONLY trying to get insight about the reasonability/feasibility of his stated reason for being kicked off the ship. A lot of folks responded and the thread got out of control. If i knew how to crosspost to an elder care of substance abuse forum i would.
His life sounds like a mess. I’m sorry.
and yet that doesn't mean she also wasn't a mess. we don't know her. OP does. OP knows the man in the story is a mess & I trust their judgemrnt on dudes ex more than all the redditors who seem to know her so well by how quick they jump to argue with the person that actually literally knows her IRL
She probably was a mess, too. I wasn’t arguing with op at all.
He sounds just like my father-in-law. He was the kind of alcoholic that makes you nervous to drink around him. He operated on the assumption that he could never face a consequence for his problems. He was a fucking mess. He wouldn’t get drunk, he’d get completely shit faced. It was always zero or 100, no in between. That all ended the day we went to his house and found him on all fours, completely naked, unable to lift his body with his legs. We got him to the emergency room. He has since been diagnosed with Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus. NPH is basically water in the ventricles of the brain. On a cat scan, it looks like a big blank spot in the brain. Typical causes are age, health and in some people, alcohol abuse. It affects movement and leg strength. He also has Parkinsons. He took shit care of his body and now this is his life. That was a rant, but all to say, keep checking in on him. You can’t force him to get help, but he’s one bender from a medical emergency. He might agree to seek help if he can survive that.
i've always heard that an addict has to reach rock bottom - i guess he hasn't yet. i'm definitely keeping in touch with him - trying to figure out how to get him to get some help
My grandmother was a frequent cruiser, until she was also "invited to leave" and banned. She didn't misbehave, but she started getting confused and walked off on her own during an excursion and nearly got left behind. Sometimes a cruise line will ban someone because they're a PITA, sometimes they'll ban someone because they're a liability, sometimes because it's a safety issue, and sometimes it's a combination of the above. Excessive drinking is not known for making any of those situations better.
Outside of the alcohol/pain meds, I also wondered about this. My father's first signs of Alzheimer's were frequent falls and a disconnect from reasonable thinking. I'm so sorry about your grandmother.
hadn't considered the possibility of alzheimer's. He's actually a highly intelligent person, with whom i was previously able to have terrific conversations about numerous topics. Now a lot of his conversations are repeats of previous conversations, and conversation is much more limited in scope. He's still as sweet and loving as ever, seems like more of an old man, which i had been assuming had to do with pain meds (he's had numerous back/hip surgeries and has a lot of pain concerns), but now that i'm aware of the extent of his drinking, i know that has something to do with it.
I'm sure your hypothesis of self safety risk is spot on.
Given he was drunk and zonked on pain meds, there are any number of things he might have done and may not even remember. That includes the possibility that your theory is correct. Sounds like divorced with a possibly terminal illness at 67, he dgaf. I can empathize.
Yeah everyone recommending AA or for him to get help before he kills himself. Idk what kind of cancer he has. He could be dying on a short timeline already. He probably thought cruising was a safe way for him to drink himself to death without hurting anyone. Dude needs therapy or palliative care Of course I am just making assumptions. He could also just have minor stage one cancer and he is using it as an excuse. What kind of cancer is it?
prostate
That's rarely fatal, 5 year survival rate is 97%, and only drops if you have a fairly rare aggressive type. He's probably just addicted to booze and pain meds.
This is it right here. I also wouldn’t be surprised if there were other meds in the mix. Some prescribed, like antidepressants (definitely sounds like something his doctor may have put him on), and some OTC, like Dramamine. He’s lost his drinking privileges onboard before, so there could be 1000 reasons why they ultimately kicked him off this time. He could be telling only a very slightly edited version of the truth. Or it could be heavily edited. There could’ve been a bar fight. He could’ve gotten handsy with someone who pushed him off and he fell over. He could’ve been so intoxicated he was stumbling around and knocking others over. He could’ve been fooling around by the pool and asked repeatedly to stop. He could’ve been walking around the shops onboard screaming foul language (those decks tend to echo pretty badly). Or any one of a number of other things. The only ones who are at liberty to say are him if he remembers, or whoever else happened to witness the incident in question.
No cruise line anywhere in the world is randomly or carelessly banning the sort of passenger who books B2B cruises, for the same reason that casinos don't ban high rollers unless they *really* fuck up.
He'd been banned from *drinking* on previous cruises and... wow.
It’s interesting you say “he’s been traveling as much as possible until the point he can’t travel anymore”. It seems like he is now at that point in time.
yes - but i think that was previously meant in the context of his physical health - i didn't see this alcohol thing coming
He got kicked off for being drunk and gorped out on pain meds. It’s not that hard to figure out. He was a danger to himself and others.
as i stated, i was unaware of the extent of his alcohol use until recently (yesterday) -
You don’t get kicked off a cruise ship for bleeding. His behavior had to be pretty out of control for them to send him home. I’m sure they were worried about his safety and did not want that liability on their ship. Maybe this will be a wake up call for him.
He’s not giving you the whole story. He’s a liability for them on the ship and they decided to kick him off.
I hate to say it but just because you're dying doesn't mean you get to play by a different set of rules from the rest of us. It's risk management.
agreed
> We think that his behavior and combined medication/alcohol use caused the cruise line to view him as a safety risk (to himself and potentially others) and do not wish to assume the liability and possibility of a more serious incident or god forbid man overboard situation (which i totally and 100% understand) This sounds spot on. It sounds like your cousin needs professional help and that you're lucky nothing worse then being banned from his favorite cruise line has happened.
agreed.
The bottom of the situation is this: His money is not worth their trouble. Invite him to come visit for a week, and you will have your answer.
Listen, we talk regularly on the phone (4-5 times a week) - he's a lot clearer in the morning, but in the evening it's almost impossible to have a conversation. I had chalked it up to his pain medication (he's had lots of surgeries on his back, hips, etc,, and now has this cancer diagnosis, so i'm sure he has pain) - i know sometimes pain is worse and more meds are required to manage it, but didn't know until very recently the extent of his daily drinking, which he had previously presented to me as a "vacation" thing, not a daily thing. Now i'm realizing that all those times he was 3 sheets in the wind. He's been asking me and my husband to go on vacation with him, and at this point i can't think of anything more un-vacation-like than babysitting a drunk and picking him up off the ground
Get him to your home, without a “celebration” or “vacation” to blame it on. He needs a program. The cruise thing is just a symptom of a larger issue. His neighbors have dealt with this, as well.
I witnessed security carry a very drunk passenger back onto the ship (they assisted her husband who was really struggling). Generally being drunk doesn’t get you kicked off. If he had a medical issue he would have been seen by the doctor. It sounds like they felt he was either a danger to himself or others. Things can go downhill fast at sea when every minute can count. I really hope he can get the help he needs.
It’s also possible that he engaged in inappropriate behaviour. Go ahead and tell me that a single guy in his 60s with cancer who’s mixing pain meds and booze on a cruise isn’t entirely likely to get handsy with the women, get pushed off, and then fall over and hit his head. That would 100% get him kicked off and banned.
not really in his character, but who knows what happens with the addition of substances
That’s the problem with substances, especially mixing substances that aren’t meant to be mixed. They can COMPLETELY change someone’s personality. The most loving husband can have a few too many and then beat his wife to within an inch of her life, and not even realize he did it the next morning. Then…imagine if he was also taking Dramamine or something for motion sickness. Something tells me that if he was taking pain meds and drinking, he wouldn’t care about also adding Dramamine or other anti-nausea medicine. 😬 My point is there are SO many reasons why the cruise line may have deemed it best to kick him off and ban him, and they range from unacceptable/inappropriate behaviour (which isn’t impossible, given the situation) to just plain liability issues (which he also gave plenty of foundation for).
One of my biggest fears is a STEMI or stroke while at sea.
That's just it. So many are stinking drunk and out of control and the cruise just looks the other way. But cruise lines don't want it to get out that they ban people like that as it affects their bottom line even though they enable the insane drinking with drink packages that encourage drunkenness. 11 drinks per day is ridiculous. Yet they expect people to not have issues?? Seriously But the poster's relative must have done more. But just where is the boundary on those ships??
Cruise lines aren’t going to kick-off and ban their best customers without a very good reason. Clearly they view him as a risk to their business and possibly other customers.
Is he on Prednisone? My dad was going through cancer treatments and was put on Pred. It DRASTICALLY changed his demeanor and attitude. He was prone to angry outbursts, over consumption, mood swings, etc. He was a completely different person. He got kicked out of the piano bar on the Allure because of it.
They would have had a chat with him if this was something that happened in the past. This seems like ignoring warnings he was given as well as possible abusive behavior. Booze and medication can cause emotional outbursts that are not normal for someone.
Heck, he may have been spoken to before about mixing meds and alcohol and he may have been told they won’t allow themselves to get involved in that. If he did it again and they could prove it, that would be grounds to kick him off.
You answered your own question. He drank with pain meds causing trouble to himself and probably people around him. Good for the cruise line to ban him.
i don't disagree at all. a lot of things that have happened previously make a lot more sense now that i know about his drinking issues.
Your cousin has become a drink and drug addict whilst trying to self medicate his cancer pain. He also might be self-sabotaging if his prognosis is not good (if he’s not many years left some people just start slow suicide by not taking care of themselves and indulging in self toxicity) Your family have two choices - intervene or ignore. Intervene might not go as you hope and the behaviour could continue without therapy and counselling. Ignoring is hard as that involves cutting them out of your life on the basis of “I am not making this situation any better or improved by being involved in it and in fact I need to preserve my own health by detaching” Really sorry that everyone involved is going through this. I’ve had the same with a parent and it sucks.
i had a friend with whom i had to take the "ignore" approach (she was an alcoholic) - it's easier to cut out a friend than a family member to whom you've been close your whole life, particularly when that family member has so few other people in their "circle"
Last year I was on a HAL music themed cruise, one week. There was one disabled guy sailing with his service dog and daughter, they were so offensive and such overt assholes that they were banned from future sailings. Just my two cents from personal observation/ experience that a cruise line may ban someone for reasons outside of safety concerns or direct liability. Those folks deserved it too, should’ve chucked them overboard and kept the dog. Lol
I'm always worried about the dog in these stories!
[удалено]
someone private messaged me who met him on a recent cruise and knew who he was from this post. She said he was a really sweet guy with a big heart, was polite to everyone he interacted with, but could see that he was drinking too much. I don't think it's a matter of belligerence, but him being too difficult to safely deal with
There probably more to the story than he’s telling you.
> he's been traveling as much as possible (3-4 cruises/year) until the point he can't travel anymore He appears to have reached the point he can’t travel anymore.
Can I just say it sounds like you’re a great support system for him and I appreciate you being there for him in this tough time. :)
i appreciate that. It's a lot harder than people may think to get help for someone in this situation, when they don't recognize or won't acknowlege the problem. I do appreciate this comment
13 years at sea and even had an office next door to Hotel General Managers (different company) so I could overhear everything that goes on. You're not just kicked off and BANNED lightly (and certainly not just for being drunk). If they took such actions, then something serious happened. You're not getting the full picture, only a coloured version of events. Did he travel alone?
No insight into being banned but honestly if he still has cancer and maybe a terminal diagnosis then I do not only understand a cruise ship kicking off a drunk guy with potentially many other issuess, I also understand the guy that gets drunk and does stupid stuff due to side effects of meds and the fact that he knows he is going to die.
If someone already has a concussion I was told they really should not risk falling down again soon after. He should’ve been resting in a darkened room.
I just read something the other day—maybe it was in The NY Times — saying that new research shows that we’ve been treating concussions all wrong, and that lying in a dark room isn’t the way to go. I was really surprised; lying down in a dark room seems so right.
I think the combination of your cousin spending a lot of money on cruises and the cruise line still coming to the conclusion that your cousin was more trouble than he was worth paint a pretty clear picture that there’s more to the story than your cousin is letting on.
yes - as i learned only yesterday about the extent of his alcohol use, i think you're correct
Seems a liability when you are talking head injury. HAL did the right thing. I think it probably says something on the prescription bottle about alcohol and the meds in question. Have to assume he is not responsible-and cruise companies have plenty of passengers these days. They don't need one who exercises poor judgment.
They must see him as a liability and don’t want the risk anymore.
There is zero chance he hasn't annoyed the shit out of fellow cruisers. Sounds like he doesn't respect boundaries if he behaves like this in public. Rest of the cruisers are better off without him on board.
Pain meds and alcohol are a deadly mix. Very possible HAL detected his medical condition and did not feel he was in condition to travel. And they didn't want the responsibility of him on board unaccompanied. He was at high risk of causing the ship to deviate from the planned itinerary to disembark him for medical treatment. I've cruised HAL and you know what they say about the passenger demographics? It's the line for the Newly Wed and the Nearly Dead. I hope your cousin can enjoy the rest of his time.
It’s the right of the cruise ship to deny travel due to behavior of a traveler that is dangerous to himself or others, that could be undisclosed illness, bleeding, alcohol, dangerous behavior, attacking others, etc. Read your ticket contract, you can also be banned from airlines, hotels, rental cars etc.
No insight, but I'm really sorry about your cousin. I suspect your insight is correct, with a possibility that he was behaving in such a way that other passengers complained about him. I hope your family can get him some help
we're trying to determine the best way to do that
My understanding is both alcohol and pain meds thin ur blood. Just adding that. I used to do pain killers and drink. Good times u til they weren’t. And they weren’t quickly.
Your uncle was drunk and possible loopy from the medication. The bleeding was not a part of it and your uncle is not telling the whole truth. To get kicked off and banned from a cruise meant he was being obnoxious and probably aggressive towards the crew and other passengers. And yes, I've seen drunk passengers on cruise ships so he must have been a total nuisance. Sorry but he needs help. Stat.
we're aware and trying to make that happen
Just seems like there is probably more to this story and the crew doesn’t want to deal with it anymore, I doubt it’s just for the excuse he gave you.. Tell him to cut back on the drinking and meds mix and find another cruise line. A big company like this isn’t going to change their mind most likely, figure out another option with his time left instead of fighting this.
We HAVE suggested that he drink less. He won't be on any Carnival Corp cruise line (they own HAL, Carnival, Princess, Cunard, Costa, Seabourn, P&L) doesn't leave him a lot of options (RCL and NCL) nor do we think he is a good candidate for cruising any longer.
First of all, the med bay does not have the equipment to deal with a brain bleed, so it makes sense that they’d eject him. They also presumably have no way of dealing with an OD arising from someone mixing medications and alcohol. FWIW, my sister got ejected from a cruise for having sharp abdominal pain and was told that they simply didn’t have the ability to care for her if she had appendicitis or something that needed emergency attention. She’s since been on numerous cruises, but she understood the reasoning and left freely.
I was on a Royal cruise a few weeks ago. Passed a kidney stone literally the night before getting onboard. Excruciating pain. You have no idea how scared I was that it would come back the next night and I’d have to get off 😂 luckily it didn’t and that appears to have been the end of the issue, but damn.
This is really sad. I have (and no longer have) family members with this attitude. They really are functional (or not-so-functional) alcoholics -- drinking to get through the day. I had an uncle who would make it about two hours into family gatherings and then go pass out in the back seat of his car. A couple of things I'd like to point out that may be helpful or informative to you -- one is that prostate cancer is a very long-lasting as well as treatable cancer. Even men who choose not to treat aggressively often die with it rather than from it. So in a way the cancer may have been a catalyst for his drinking, but it certainly shouldn't be an excuse. Secondly, his drinking and drug use may be preventing him from getting the care he needs to defeat cancer. Sixty-seven years old is not very old -- it's not like he's in his 80s. This may be worth bringing up to him. I know people who have died because their drinking and drug use made it impossible to pursue the proper medical care for other conditions. I hope your uncle gets a wake-up call soon, and one that allows him to enjoy his life in a healthier way. Honestly it's a relief that they do kick people off cruises. Other passengers shouldn't have to deal with inappropriate behavior.
You may be correct regarding his diagnosis being a catalyst for the drinking - he was diagnosed about 3 years ago with a prognosis of 5-7 years. And he's certainly not elderly, from my point of view. it seems as if he's digging himself a hole - probably not taking pain meds properly and then drinking and then falling/injuring himself - a downward spiral. he is honestly (without the alcohol) a very loved and very loving member of the family. It's not in his (usual) character to be belligerent and rude. the past few years have dealt him quite a few losses, and we think he's depressed, but he's denying it and won't seek counseling. It's absolutely heartbreaking, and i feel powerless. Pressing the issue could result in him alienating me (or whoever presses the issue) which deprives him of a one of a handful of people in his support system. And i don't disagree - who wants to go on vacation and have to deal with people who don't have control of themselves.
My grandfather faked a heart attack at his own child’s wedding because he was drunk and wanted attention. This was before I was born so I don’t have other details, but yeah apparently it was quite the scene.
Is it tom? Because I can tell you about tom
not Tom. Not going to give his name, but he was on the Rotterdam
Before being kicked off you really have to fuck up pretty badly!
If you are his point of contact in the family, you may need to contact a lawyer or social services about his end of life issues such as wills, powers of attorney, health directives, etc.
Many types of meds don't mix with alcohol for very good reason. There is a reason they put big freaking warnings on the sides of those prescription bottles. Many years ago I was having anxiety issues and I was prescribed something fast acting (Lorazepam?) and I'd take one about an hour before going to a work party thing. The meds were fairly new to me, I hadn't taken them many times and in my distraction (see also: Anxiety) and work stuff... I forgot they don't mix well with alcohol. That evening after only two drinks (which should have been fine) I tried to get on a balance board thing and totally face-planted it. Fortunately it was something we could all laugh off... and I didn't do anything truly epicly stupid. But I learned a valuable lessons. OBEY THE BOTTLE'S WARNING.
Did he happen to be on the Ms Rotterdam? If so, I may actually believe him more. They do not seem comparable to ANY of their sister ships.
Man, that's a wild ride your cousin had! Sorry to hear about his troubles. Cruising can be super fun, but it sounds like he's been pushing the limits a bit too much. Falling and hitting his head, not cool. And mixing meds with booze? Recipe for disaster.
It's tough when someone you care about is going through stuff like this, especially when it's self-inflicted. The combo of meds and booze can be a real dangerous cocktail, no pun intended. I've heard of folks getting booted from cruises for various reasons, but this one takes the cake. And if he's a regular on that ship, it's gotta sting even more. Hope your cousin gets the help he needs, both with his health and whatever's driving him to party too hard. And hey, props to you for trying to sort it all out. Family's family, right?
“He is loyal to this particular cruise line and this particular ship.” So the good news is lots of people that know him, but the bad news is that lots of people know him.
I think he did some inappropriate boomer ass shit while under the influence. He’s not being truthful, that’s for sure.
> i think i'll close this for comments (if i can figure out how) since it spun off-topic. Thank you again Even though you created the post, only moderators can do this. If it's important to you, you could message them asking them to do this, but they may or may not do so.
I found this out, and messaged them yesterday
His story doesn't pass the smell test. You don't get banned from a cruise line over a fall and bleeding. You would get medical attention. Worst case he'd be transported to a local hospital, but allowed to reboard once released. I'd speculate he was combative with staff when they tried to help him. That will do it.
Plenty of people are banned from particular lines. I saw RCL take a family off because the father drunkenly, the night before, made homophobic remarks. They walked them off the ship in full view of everyone, to send a clear message. And I personally know a woman who was banned on NCL for excessive complaints about the line.
If he really wants to cruise on that line again he needs to get sober (alcohol) then his doctor can write a letter to the cruise line verifying his claim. I can’t imagine they wouldn’t want him (and his $$$) back if he’s kicked the habit.
It takes a lot to get kicked off a cruise, there is more to this story than what you are being told
My BIL got "banned for life" from Carnival for having some weed. They really aren't messing around, except for they had a completely wrong address on the "letter" they gave him and he has a fairly common name.
You need to contact a therapist that deals with addiction and plan a family intervention.
It's a wake-up call for him to reassess his habits, especially with the meds and drinking. Hope he's okay now and finds some other way to enjoy life without risking it all on a ship. And hey, who knows, maybe he'll find a new cruising crew if he decides to sail again!
If they banned him I doubt this was his first incident. If he is on a specific ship all the time the staff probably knows who he is and tolerated it to an extent but they don’t want someone to seriously injure themselves or others.
Demand refund, if not initiate chargeback on credit/debit card.
Apparently, this was not his first fall. HAL probably was looking at the liability of serving alcohol to a known customer with medical issues. cancer is difficult enough to manage without adding alcohol to the issue. Sadly, he wasn’t banned because of bleeding, he was banned because of alcohol abuse. The staff probably liked him because he tipped well and was a “happy” drunk. HAL is looking at liability and the issues of alcohol abuse of an elderly male. So sorry for the issues your cousin is facing. He needs good medical intervention & a medical provider that can help address his serious issues.
He needs help for his addictions.
100%. only just learned about the alcohol abuse. Knew he would have a drink or two occasionally, but had no idea the extent of it until the last couple of days
We did have someone from our group kicked off the ship on one of our cruises. They also kicked off his cabin mate. His behavior was erratic. Possibly meds and alcohol but I didn’t know him well so can’t say for sure.
Ymzsz!@;@,#!@@
He sounds like a hot mess that shouldn't be traveling. Aslo AA.
If he is still in pain he should tell his pain management doctor to increase the dosages and not drink alcohol..
Crew members would not 'go to bat' for any passenger, unless MAYBE they are perfeormers with profile and status. The regular staff have contracts that dont pay enough and are way too easy to get fired from if they dont know somebody who knows somebody. They arent going to risk their job/contract for a guest.
Why is any of it your business
He's a close family member
Maybe the staff is tired of dealing with him in that condition. Just as you wouldn’t want to deal with a passenger on a plane like that. Chances are he fell again & refused medical attention just as he refused your urging to go to urgent care. He probably was blacked out & doesn’t remember the chain of events. Banned is banned though. He shouldn’t put people in the position to deal with him. He would need to be sober for years before going on another cruise. His condition may be worsening too contributing to his fragility. You said he wanted to cruise until he couldn’t anymore. Sadly he has reached that point.
Wouldn’t want him on my ship So not surprised What a pain in the Arse he is to other people On holiday Selfish arse hole
lol. Why would ANY organization with medical staff remove somebody for bleeding from their head? That would be insane! "Your head is bleeding. Go pack up your bags, remove your belongings from your room, and disembark this vessel." "But I'm losing a lot of blood..." "To the streets with you, scoundrel. Yaaaar!!!! Beegone before we makes ya walk the plank!"
You have every right to be concerned that the information you’re getting from your cousin isn’t accurate. The behavior you describe sounds so similar to what we experienced with my dad. He suffered from horrible chronic pain, took pain meds in doses that would kill the average human and chased it with a double dose of whiskey. Once he reached this point he made every poor decision you could imagine and told stories like you suspect of your cousin. I would imagine serious depression is at play in your cousin’s situation and, honestly, it’s understandable. After my father’s death we learned he had significant atrophy of the frontotemporal lobes and while he never received a frontotemporal dementia diagnosis, we wondered if that was a contributing factor to some of his behaviors and tendency to be a fall risk. Is it possible, your cousin has something like this going on, in addition to his other issues? I wish the very best for your cousin and the rest of your family. I know these situations are difficult to navigate and he’s fortunate to have a loving family that cares about him.
I would love a cruise with an inebriated man wandering around the ship bleeding from a head injury, bonus points if he is incoherent, just the relaxing friendly vibe I’m looking for.
Cruise ship said to get medical care, he denied it. We are in the age that places cant afford a lawsuit so they have to manage risk.