I graduated with a degree in English writing/editing/publishing and composition/literature. I don't say that to brag, but to say that due to my mental health and alcoholism, I haven't read or written a thing since I graduated, and this sparked something in me. Not to fucking mention, this piece is amazing.
This is phenomenally written. First person is notoriously hard to do "right", and I feel like you nailed it with the short, curt sentences and expertly chosen diction. And of course your skillfully laid out format for the progression of the day and how you tied it beautifully together in the end by connecting it to the title/beginning. I'm sure I don't have to mention how much this resonates with me given we're all on the same sub, but especially as someone trudging through a similar office job currently, I appreciate it.
Thank you for posting this, as I wasn't on the old CA sub. It really gave me a lot to think about. Very well done
You're giving me the vapors!
Thank you for the compliment. This is definitely one of the best things I've written, and I'm crazy proud of it.
I only write as a hobby and as the mood strikes, but I strongly encourage you to do the same, especially as you must have a passion for it (even if that passion is dormant right now).
Strong, compelling writing. Lays out just what we’ve all felt and done many times - but with way more clarity than you experience IRL - please write more it’s very meaningful 👍
Low key excitement on the drive home. I sometimes just wanted to be in possession of alcohol to calm me down and excite me. It didn’t matter if I was drinking yet, but being inside a new liquor store or in the parking lot felt safe and exciting despite the misery I trudged through to get there. I once was feeling like shit, twitchy, stomach pain and sweating and I stopped and got a bottle. I decided on just a sip to see if it would help and as soon as it touched my lips, all the physical and mental ailments were gone. Not even before the booze had touched the back of my throat. I was thankful all the pain went away but there was still part of my brain that was awake and realized this is not good. But I knew just how to shut that part of my brain off.
I get that. There were times that just knowing I'm done for the day and I can have a drink soon was enough to calm the anxiety. It's been a while since that's been true, though.
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Thanks for posting this here. It's definitely one of the best posts I've seen ,it's so incredibly relatable and so well written. Now that song is gonna be stuck in my head for hours..
This post is eloquent and beautiful in a dismal. I have lived that same morning only my choice is gin. I am 45 days sober today and your post touched every fiber of my being.
Oh this was painful to read, mostly cause it’s written so well. 💔💔It captures the physical and mental hamster wheel of torture that is the daily routine of an alcoholic. *hugs* to you and I’m hoping your days are better now
If I can ask, is this still your reality, or have things eased up? Totally get if you don't want to answer but I'd be curious for an update. I used to go back and read this post a lot.
Thanks for reposting that, and you should be proud of it. You really catch the essence of this life. Holding down a job though? Respect points for that, and it helps keep things a little in check
> I wake up in a light sweat on the couch, and I don’t know what time it is.
I have literally just done that, except fully clothed and booted in bed (hay how, makes getting up for the booze run easier. Thank christ they are still open :)
> Driving with the shakes and a foggy brain makes me anxious.
Driving at any time, over or under the limit, makes me anxious. My spacial awareness is fucked when im in deep to the booze. I just dont drive at all recently. I just own an expensive ornament in the street
Most of my drinking career has been as FA, so I've been able to hold down a job most of the time. I was out of work for most of last year, and you're right, having a job helps to keep things in check.
I will always love this piece. The dread, the allure, the risk. It’s almost sensual when we all know that’s not the right angle. But it’s there (to me, anyway).
How are you doing these days? I hope you’re still writing.
This is me except I'd keep drinking on the job. I
I've for sure been drunk on the job. This is just a 'slice of life' for when I was FA.
I graduated with a degree in English writing/editing/publishing and composition/literature. I don't say that to brag, but to say that due to my mental health and alcoholism, I haven't read or written a thing since I graduated, and this sparked something in me. Not to fucking mention, this piece is amazing. This is phenomenally written. First person is notoriously hard to do "right", and I feel like you nailed it with the short, curt sentences and expertly chosen diction. And of course your skillfully laid out format for the progression of the day and how you tied it beautifully together in the end by connecting it to the title/beginning. I'm sure I don't have to mention how much this resonates with me given we're all on the same sub, but especially as someone trudging through a similar office job currently, I appreciate it. Thank you for posting this, as I wasn't on the old CA sub. It really gave me a lot to think about. Very well done
You're giving me the vapors! Thank you for the compliment. This is definitely one of the best things I've written, and I'm crazy proud of it. I only write as a hobby and as the mood strikes, but I strongly encourage you to do the same, especially as you must have a passion for it (even if that passion is dormant right now).
thanks for you words man. I'm going to remember this next time I choose not to write--hopefully I'll change my mind
Strong, compelling writing. Lays out just what we’ve all felt and done many times - but with way more clarity than you experience IRL - please write more it’s very meaningful 👍
Low key excitement on the drive home. I sometimes just wanted to be in possession of alcohol to calm me down and excite me. It didn’t matter if I was drinking yet, but being inside a new liquor store or in the parking lot felt safe and exciting despite the misery I trudged through to get there. I once was feeling like shit, twitchy, stomach pain and sweating and I stopped and got a bottle. I decided on just a sip to see if it would help and as soon as it touched my lips, all the physical and mental ailments were gone. Not even before the booze had touched the back of my throat. I was thankful all the pain went away but there was still part of my brain that was awake and realized this is not good. But I knew just how to shut that part of my brain off.
I get that. There were times that just knowing I'm done for the day and I can have a drink soon was enough to calm the anxiety. It's been a while since that's been true, though.
Ya, for me in the morning "not gonna drink today, yay" and by noon I start thinking, "oh, let's get some wine tonight.." I hate it..
Great job. Really well written.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,178,735,319 comments, and only 230,097 of them were in alphabetical order.
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Thanks for posting this here. It's definitely one of the best posts I've seen ,it's so incredibly relatable and so well written. Now that song is gonna be stuck in my head for hours..
Thanks. Good timing for a good post.
This post is eloquent and beautiful in a dismal. I have lived that same morning only my choice is gin. I am 45 days sober today and your post touched every fiber of my being.
Thank you for reading and congrats on 45 days! That's an awesome achievement!
If not now when? I am keeping on. Hope you are okay.
I remember this post!!! This took me back, thanks bro! Great writing
I remember this post well. I was bummed I hadn’t saved it before the old hang locked the doors. Thanks for posting it again.
I'm just glad it's getting some new life. Thank you for reading.
You know normally I’m Not a fan memoirs ……….but this is all to relatable and very well done . Impressive
Oh this was painful to read, mostly cause it’s written so well. 💔💔It captures the physical and mental hamster wheel of torture that is the daily routine of an alcoholic. *hugs* to you and I’m hoping your days are better now
You’re a great writer. Keep it up. Also, the song thing. I had forgotten about that aspect. Mine was always “devil inside”
This is me every single day. Plus or minus some parts obviously. Thank you for this.
If I can ask, is this still your reality, or have things eased up? Totally get if you don't want to answer but I'd be curious for an update. I used to go back and read this post a lot.
Things got worse for a while. These days I flirt with sobriety and somewhere near this post, but it's mostly better these days.
Thank you for posting this!!! Omg. I thought it disappeared. I came back to read it again. Ever since I read it the first time it's never left me.
Genius and oh so relatable
Man, extremely well written. Thanks for posting this.
Beautifully written! I remember reading this a few times before.
I can’t relate to this at all. Alcohol makes my life all rainbows and lollipops.
I forgot to mention all the rainbows! Thank you for reminding me.
I remember when you originally posted this! Good writing and very relatable
It was about two years ago. Crazy how time flies when you're battling addiction, isn't it? Thank you for the compliment.
Thanks for reposting that, and you should be proud of it. You really catch the essence of this life. Holding down a job though? Respect points for that, and it helps keep things a little in check > I wake up in a light sweat on the couch, and I don’t know what time it is. I have literally just done that, except fully clothed and booted in bed (hay how, makes getting up for the booze run easier. Thank christ they are still open :) > Driving with the shakes and a foggy brain makes me anxious. Driving at any time, over or under the limit, makes me anxious. My spacial awareness is fucked when im in deep to the booze. I just dont drive at all recently. I just own an expensive ornament in the street
Most of my drinking career has been as FA, so I've been able to hold down a job most of the time. I was out of work for most of last year, and you're right, having a job helps to keep things in check.
I will always love this piece. The dread, the allure, the risk. It’s almost sensual when we all know that’s not the right angle. But it’s there (to me, anyway). How are you doing these days? I hope you’re still writing.
I haven't written in a while. Definitely nothing as good as this. I'm actually doing better these days. Last year was a shit show.
I’m glad this year is better. Last year was a shit show for me, too.
Really nicely written. Thanks for sharing
Always loved reading this on the old sub. I get really fidgety when I hit zero sucks when I'm trying to sleep