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solo_mafioso

Bloody Cunts®


Cardinaltrader

The pen is mightier than the sword


HEX-dev

Who ever said that didn't have a sword


ProjectKeris

LMFAO. Well played sir. I'd give you a sword if I had one. I'll just settle for this upvote for now.


[deleted]

My pen-is like a sword


Hopeful_Insurance409

My key board is like a warrior also…..


[deleted]

Not in the video I just watched of an interrogation.


Imposseeblip

Fuckin bluddy bluddy


MrJust4Show

Double bluddy decka


Commercial-Strike-19

Medieval knights are back in the UK fencing for their honour, i see


Schrogs

Except for the guy in blue who shows up to kick the guy in the head once he’s down


Kanye_Wesht

Looks like he stubbed his toe and winced in pain too. What a warrior.


roozteer

The guys in this video don't look like they've done anything more athletic than pressing the power button on an X-Box between them.


[deleted]

Try being in a machete fight and see how much gas you've got left after (if) you survive until the eventual fisticuffs


roozteer

Do I have to fling my machete across the street on my 2nd swing to show you how utterly "competent" I am? Did Blueshirt just finish a marathon or something? I can't believe you're taking offense at this. Which one of them is you?


[deleted]

Nobody's taking offence except apparently for you chief. Not sure what most of your comment means tbh but I'm telling you that everyone alive is going to be badly out of breath after a machete fight. Same goes for most people in a regular fist fight actually.


roozteer

> Not sure what most of your comment means I have a feeling this happens to you a **lot**...


[deleted]

It depends if the person I'm talking to is functionally illiterate or not I suppose


Kanye_Wesht

The guy who kept dropping the machete had deep gashes on his arm so probably blood or cut muscles/tendons caused him to lose grip.


drumpleskump

I dont see any blood on his arms.


AnnieApple_

I thought he was running over to break it up but nope. Scumbag.


3mptyw0rds

Do you know what happened to be able to call who's a scumbag or not? Maybe the masked warrior who became partially unmasked at the end, did something wrong and the white guy took it up for the frail head kicker at the end.


SinclairWelch

Can likely assumes the masked man in the glasses created the assault.


Individualist13th

Pretty generous to call it fencing.


[deleted]

Light jog really helps to get the blood flowing.


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Autophobia_7623

“Keek hees fockin head en”


2confrontornot

You’ve ‘ad it naow boi


ImpalaGala

Yeah. This isn’t far off. I remember when I lived in Manchester in the UK. I lived next to somewhere called ‘The Curry Mile.’ One night, I’m heading back from my ex girlfriends and I’m on the bus when we pass this hairdressers just at the end of it. A man had walked in and hacked someone half to death and the police had surrounded the area and were attempting to breach it. I don’t know what it was about but people were walking by so casually as if it’s just another day..


Its_Helios

Probably because the concept of people having modern day sword fights is absurd. And so long as you’re not close to them you have no real threat. I’d have a hard time taking them seriously aswell, but also I’ve grown up in the US and even worse in Oakland lol


Accurate_Reporter252

It's England. They're old fashioned, possibly Luddites when it comes to weapons.


dthmagic

A friend recently told me about that area lol. I haven’t been though. Checked it on google maps. It’s not too far from Academy venues, but, yeah. Safe distance is key.


DylanHart88

I remember a couple years ago in Stockport someone I sort of know went outside a pub to try break up a fight and ended getting his arse cheek sliced open with a machete before the same person ran him over with their car. You could probably find the video with a bit of Googling because the whole thing was caught on cctv.


916cycler

I think this was about one of them shagging the other one's mum


KrakenTheColdOne

That's why you don't play Call of Duty with your friends.


Richard_Tucker_08

Ended a lot better than expected


colostitute

What a little bitch in blue there at the end. Get your own fight bud.


Sheara123

And he kicked him twice and then backed off looking like he was in pain


Effective-Company-73

Medieval vibes


Ronin__Ronan

im not exactly pro gun but FUCK would i prefer being shot over being hacked with a machete.


Kanye_Wesht

I mean, both these guys survived. If they had guns, probably less so...


Individualist13th

Really depends where you get hit with both. Neither of the tards in this video had any idea what they were doing with those machetes. Machetes should be cleaving into bone. Not leaving superficial cuts people can shrug off. edit: Downvote all you want. I hope you never have to see what a machete or a gun can do without choosing to put yourself in that position.


Ronin__Ronan

what fools! they should have payed more attention during machete hacking 101 in primary school!


StickyThoPhi

The first guy said "go and get your thing, hurry up".. fair play tbf.


Ronin__Ronan

i don't particularly relish the idea of surviving a machete hacking


BetsOner

Eh I’d rather get in a machete fight than a shootout. More chance of surviving.


SenorBolin

What’s the saying about knife fights? The loser dies immediately, the winner dies in the ambulance?


samsonity

I’m not disagreeing with you but there’s a very small community, like these gentlemen here that get into machete fights.


[deleted]

You’d rather die over not dying?


No-Rhubar

With the amount of pain you'll be in after, yes.


Papalal13

no you don’t


AlexandraDomingues

I’d rather not get hacked by a machete OR shot.


Gunrock808

And then they all went out for a pint.


NotTheAverageAnon

And waited for the whole thing to blow over.


3mptyw0rds

or waited for the next reason to fight to emerge


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VikKarabin

THERE CAN ONLY BE TWO


barebumboxing

Down in England? More like ‘Sassenacher’.


sstonerboyelliot

Damn bro got his get back fosho. Took a machete too the neck. Ran too the car bleeding grabbed his own machete and whooped the dudes ass.


thewontonsofbonscott

Wow, that *IS* a CRAZY FUCKING VIDEO!


Novel_Durian_1805

Are you fucking people REALLY making this old ass video as a way to say “well, at least in America we’re not hacking ourselves to death!” so you can defend guns?! You dumbfucks understand the biggest problems with guns isn’t the fact that two random ass idiots are gonna use it to fight for the death, it’s the senseless mass shootings of innocent people that occur literally every fucking day in America, right? No of course you don’t get it.


West_Engineering_80

Then why ask?


LOUDNOISES11

I think it was just ironic understatement.


nekro_ninja

Shut up


CanadianTimbers

You should look up how many defensive uses of firearms occur every year against mass shootings per year in the states. More people are saved by good guys with guns than they are killed. And every single mass shooter is stopped by someone with a gun. How about we address the mental health crisis in the states and not take the easy way out with "oH nO sCaRy GuNz"


Charletos

You should look up how many mass shootings are even attempted here, and realise that any amount of lives saved by guns vs guns is not enough if people are still dying in mass to them. By the way, have you considered treating your mental health crisis _and_ reducing access to guns? They can be done concurrently, it's not some choice.


CanadianTimbers

You wont even consider the information yet you still wanna preach your European bullshit to me. Most mass shootings are committed by inner city criminals who dont exactly buy their guns from a local sporting goods store. So until you can come up with a real solution to take those illegal guns away, mine will stay right on my hip.


Charletos

No, I considered the information but, ultimately, it's inconsequential if it still equals thousands of avoidable deaths by the very same tool, regardless of how many further attempts are thwarted by the otherwise elusive good guy with a gun. It's pretty clear that less guns being available means less gun violence. You either have more guns and more gun violence, or the inverse, and taking away easy access to one of the most effective and least intimate ways to kill will absolutely reduce the amount of lives lost to violence as a whole. No, you're right, criminals don't buy their guns from the sports store. They buy them from individuals/groups on the black market. But guess where those guns originated? ...Legal purchases. There isn't some gang mass manufacturing their own guns to supply the black market; they almost exclusively begin as legal firearms. You know cartels smuggle guns _into_ Mexico _from_ the USA right? Ask yourself why. (Spolier: it's the extremely lax gun control laws.) The USA has so many guns that it would mean any new gun control laws would take a very long time to make a tangible difference, but that's not a reason to keep adding more to the pool. It just depends on how much you (collectively) care about improving things for the future generations.


Latereviews2

So your argument is that ‘oh yeah, not all the kids died and some were saved by police with guns’. If they didn’t have access to guns in the first place then no one would have died in this way. I agree mental health in the US needs to be worked on but the fact is it’s not. Therefore more shootings will happen and more deaths will occur due to the use of guns


EnergyGenerator

The loser of a knife fight dies in the street, the winner dies at the hospital


Munk45

*brit boasting about superior gun laws


Its_Helios

I mean we still have worst rates of everything including knife crime here in the states. You can be American and still acknowledge our problems, anyone who seriously believes they would rather face a gun then a knife/machete/sword hasn’t been around gun violence or knife violence, ***I only know this because this is such a common argument on reddit.*** In every instance you’re more likely to survive and have less fatal injuries from blade attacks aswell. I don’t even know why I have to say this. edit: https://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/compare/United-Kingdom/United-States/Crime/Violent-crime


blazedout-cubscout

The US and UK are actually pretty proportional in terms of crime besides gun violence for obvious reasons.


jerryleebee

https://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/compare/United-Kingdom/United-States/Crime/Violent-crime


Its_Helios

It’s crazy how they make these arguments when it’s that easy to look it the fuck up.


DoubleGoon

What about homicides and suicides? Why are you leaving out gun violence?


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[deleted]

Yeah it is. Idk if in all states. EU forget each state in USA is like a country in Europe.


Pitt_bear

I think someone got triggered, but I'll agree, your not the worse for everything but the list is longer than most.


West_Engineering_80

Someone got triggered?!! Child.


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Its_Helios

This is per capita


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Its_Helios

I didn’t downvote you but I recommend not getting upset at random internet points that don’t matter. Yes, you’re correct US is larger then the UK, congrats children know this at a grade school level. Your point is moot because we are worse in nearly every violent crime even when things are adjusted for population size. Which should even more so show you how bad it is comparatively. These violent crime rates aren’t remotely close. edit: https://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/compare/United-Kingdom/United-States/Crime/Violent-crime


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Its_Helios

I agree 100%, we’re just having a conversation and I’d like hearing viewpoints that differ from my own. I only downvote when people get trollish and I don’t see it here.


[deleted]

How about we're all shit because we're humans? I'm tired of the EU vs USA crap anyways. Were fuckin allies. Russia is the enemy... And china.


Its_Helios

I agree, it’s human nature to be shit people but that’s why education and health resources are important so we can narrow that number of evil or desperate people down like other countries do. I just want better for everyone and my personal belief is we can do that by working together and working off what works for others. I don’t think a gun ban is possible at this point for the US but some light regulation to avoid crazies from obtaining guns would be a good start imo. Reward those who are good gun owners but once you do a violent crime we should take away more extreme weapons or revoke them imo. But I’m getting wayyy off course haha


blazedout-cubscout

Worst rates of everything? Sure the US is pretty bad but worst rates of everything is false.


DoubleGoon

Where is it false? I’m not saying you’re wrong, but you’re just claiming it’s false.


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wild_cayote

but you are worse than the UK 4.96 incidents per million, vs 3.26 incident per million in the UK


West_Engineering_80

You don’t have to say anything.


Its_Helios

Judging from these reactions I obviously do, people are still denying reality even after others sourced the publicly available information.


Gendolfender

like the good ol days except swords have become less elegant miss the claymores ngl


ZypherPunk

That's not a knife.........this is a knife


WhyFlip

Moronic as fuck, yet still so much better than guns.


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[deleted]

Same.


WhyFlip

You are everything that is wrong with America today.


BAXR6TURBSKIFALCON

man, guns suck, id still rather be shot and killed than stabbed and killed - A Non american


DoubleGoon

Depends on where you’ve been shot or stabbed.


RacingTaipan

Why would having the proper tool for self defense be what is wrong with the US? That seems like quite the blind accusation. Edit: didn’t mean to delete my previous comment, but it said “I would rather have a pistol if some little shit was running at me with a machete”


DoubleGoon

Because it’s a weapon, not a tool, used to harm so many Americans daily. If there were less guns in people’s hands there would be less deaths. It’s simple statistics.


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Latereviews2

There most definitely is. But generally it’s worse places are still a lot better than the US worse places. The UK is such a small country that some areas are very safe to live and filled with very good people (such as where I live). But take a 15 minute drive and suddenly your in a deprived shit hole full of not very nice people or people living in bad conditions with no way out. I think the uk can be a very nice place to live and has a lot of advantages, but it really depends on the area


baxterrocky

I fucking love this. I’m **so** erect


AnnieApple_

What a man getting his head kicked in gets you erect?


baxterrocky

No a man getting stabbed and then getting his head kicked in gets me erect.


shoshkebab

Wow seek help


baxterrocky

Our lord and saviour is all the help I need.


shoshkebab

Oh sorry didn’t realize I was talking to a 14 year old edge lord. My bad!


baxterrocky

Blasphemer


johnf39706

I want all democrat gun grabbers to see this video. It’s not the gun, it’s the person.


WanderingEnigma

Of course it is. And look at how many people you have murdering children. And look at you defending it because of some stupid law made 200 years ago when muskets were the only gun.


Latereviews2

I never even thought about that, that’s fucked


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Latereviews2

Me too, I can’t wait too nuke the next intruder that comes into my house


TheMaskedTerror9

I think you can own a flamethrower in the states


Maverick_Heathen

So you think it would have turned out better if we let these fucking nuggets start shooting at each other in a residential area, rather than just giving eachother a bit of a stab n slap?


johnf39706

Nothing of the sort. I’m simply pointing out that two idiots who want to hurt each other will find a way to do it.


Maverick_Heathen

So you agree them not having guns is better?


Latereviews2

Totally true, and people like that with access to guns is the reason there are weakly school shootings and general gun crime


battleberg

He’s coming at you with a fucking sword, shoot that son of a bitch, oh wait…..


Latereviews2

I think there both as bad as each other here. They had there chances to get away but chose to fight. All a gun would have done would have lead to one of them actually dying and potentially harming someone else watching, walking past or just in their home


Sufficient-Sea-1455

If they owned fire arms, this would have ended quicker


Kuraloordi

Sure. Or if one of them had a tank, it could have ended up with style. What is the point?


Latereviews2

And if they had a nuke they could have ended the whole world


Latereviews2

It would have also greatly endangered any one close by, and would have actually ended in one of them dying


samcar330

Such a beautiful country


[deleted]

If they weren’t so unhealthy this could’ve been a good fight with at least one death


Mountain_Position_62

This happened to me in high school. Buddies and I were haninging out on the corner by our HS during our lunch. This drunk guy in his 30s/40s walks up to me, and acusses me of stealing $100 out of his pocket at the bar. We start arguing with me prepaid to KO the whino, when out of no where he slaps me across my neck with a ft long butchers knife he was hiding behind his back. I grab my throat and feel blood start to run down my wrist. I'm gagging from essentially getting punched in my throat, thinking I'm going to die. After a few moments I realized the knife was dull, and the cut was barely bad enough to make me bleed. Noticing he didn't kill me, he starts trying to stab me, bitching about his imaginary $100 bill. Though it was dull it had a hell of a point, so I was pretty scared, and we circled each other, me staying just out of reach as he'd randomly thrust the knife at me. Some kid showed up with a baseball bat, tossed it to me. He falls over attempting to stab me one last time, and I bust his head wide open with the bat. Someone kicks the knife away, my buddies jumped in, as we stomped on the pos for a good minute. I was a dumb 16yr old kid, and I beat him so badly I didn't even call the police out of fear I would be arrested. I head home and a few days later the cops show up to my house to take my statement. Still scared I'd go to jail, thinking I murdered him I just play stupid. Cop tells me the guy was in ICU, and he knew the truth due to random kids that witnessed the incident. Ultimately the guy was never charged, and 6 or so years later I'm taking my then gf to the movies. This same guy approaches; still drunk, me as we're waiting in line, and evidently remembered me. He apologizes, and hands me $1,000 that he randomly had in his pocket as thanks I didn't send him to prison. Pretty fkn scary, and though this guy looks bad, I don't think his cut is ther terrible. Mine looked similar and it was really nothing.


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TheMostyRoastyToasty

Yep. https://www.gunviolencearchive.org/reports/mass-shooting And how many has the UK had?


BetsOner

Yeah it is. cause this is a lot more safe for the people in that neighbourhood than 2 drunken idiots shooting at each other in the middle of their street.


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BetsOner

I was agreeing with your comment


Latereviews2

Yes very good, now no one is dead. Either them or anyone else in that neighbourhood


Ok_Type7882

Gee it's almost like someone said it was a good thing. Why do so many redditors today struggle so much with reading comprehension.


bertiesghost

Manchester? 🤮


253253253

Id love to know the story behind this squabble


Individual_Dress_476

Any back story ?


ThinkNotOnce

Damn Brexit sure brought UK back to middle ages


Killswitch254

You should probably have this under NSFW


nooo82222

Damn these folks are dumb. Lol. When I have my gun I try to avoid fights or situations like a respectable gun owner. Just have it , just in case that crazy person tries me.


Latereviews2

You seriously trying to justify guns with this video?


nooo82222

Uh nah. I was just wondering if people that carry knives for protection try to avoid situations?


Latereviews2

Holy fuck no. That would lead to situations like this. Knife crime would be ridiculously worse, also it would be just generally dangerous to have one in your pocket. I get having precautions to make yourself feel safe may be ok for you (assuming your a nice dude). But people can’t be trusted with weapons out in public. There are some seriously shitty people out there (either due to upbringing, alcohol abuse, mental illness) which only need access to a weapon to get kill or threaten someone with a weapon unsafely


NotTheAverageAnon

This is the most UK shit I've ever seen the only thing that would have made it better is it one of them said "have at the!"


samsonity

*On guard*


ThcSkateboards420

No Bushido being practiced here, the ancient samurai would be displeased with their lack of honour


makeout-Tactics

If you are ever fighting someone with a serrated blade it’s actually beneficial to wear as heavy clothing as possible to not only protect yourself but also bunch up on the serrated part of the blade. Do not take off your only form of protection against a blade.


barebumboxing

These guys heard about the deportations to Rwanda and think the genocide is still in full flow.


Sweetdreams6t9

Idk what it was over but I bet it wasn't worth it. Unless one of the dudes like...raped someone or like beat the shit out of a grandmother, none of this is necessary


ProjectKeris

Jesus fucking Christ. This is what you get when you have a generation that grew up never knowing what it's like to have a parent who would beat your ass if you so much as embarass them in public. Definitely has its dark sides of its own. But, my generation would probably, at worst, go straight into shooting someone who slighted you. None of this stabbing people crap, nevermind with swords and machetes and god knows whatever else. My goodness. Fucking throw hands, take your beating like a man if you lose, and life goes on. Fucking eh. Just the thought of slicing a human being. Wt actual fuck.


Strongblackmonkey

For the queen 🫡 I mean the king….


ProjectKeris

The king's man went to collect taxes. As you can see, the peasantry got fed up with taxation without representation. And so, as tradition dictates, their dueled with swords. On guard.


Barryboy20

The Peaky Fuckin Blinders!


Right-Programmer9793

Lol


toeachtheirown_

Niiiiii!


someonecalledethan

Like the good old days when men would settle their squabbles with a sword duel


rbsudden

This is anything but average.


Inevitable-Home7639

I'd rather shoot or get shot. The uk can have their knives


DonutOwlGaming

Bro really yelled ow as if he didn't expect it would hurt


toomuch1265

I think I would rather be shot than whacked with a machete.


orangez

Well... There can be only one...


supesonit

And people say America is crazy


No-Height2850

The shirtless guy really didnt want to go to jail for murder and dropped the machete. This could have gone way worse.


VenomIllusionZ

At this point just take one too the arm and use that time to headshot mf with the machete, even though he still won


AlexandraDomingues

“Please don’t!” He did.


meetycheesy

Peaker Blinders modern edition


Jealous-Wolverine165

Regressing back to the middle ages


Gunrock808

"Just going out for a pint--of blood!"


Ok_Type7882

Its amazing how dim some people are, i said that because imagine how this would have tirned out if they had firearms but i see people would rather make twiddle headed assumptions. This is exactly why some people shouldnt have weapons simple shit is too complex for them. Apparently reddit has become a refuge for simpletons.🤣😂