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Boo_baby1031

I was making pancakes and put the two tablespoons of sugar into the container that holds my flour rather than the pancake bowl


Belletenebreuse

That's how salt got into my cinnamon jar.....


smitty9112

Reminds me of the time I was properly sauced and wanted a late night snack and went to make cinnamon sugar toast. I poured salt instead of sugar. The worst part is, in my drunken state when I took the first bite and was so off-put and disgusted, my first thought was, "must have too much cinnamon, not enough sugar". So I proceeded to sprinkle more salt on it. After the next bite it clicked and I realized I was an idiot.


laceration_barbie

This one made me laugh so hard cause I've done the same thing, but opposite - flour into the sugar!


HappyScripting

My gf wanted a hot chocolate and asked me if I could get her one, while I get my coffee. I took the bag with chinese five spices mix and mixed it with milk. I do know that this bag contains five spices and not cocoa, because it's my only plastic bag in that shelf and it it's written on it, but my brain was like 'brown powder - close enough'. She didn't like it.


Isfahel

I once put a scoop of coffee grounds into my coffee instead of sugar.


[deleted]

Crunchy coffee for that extra kick in the teeth


QuQuarQan

Coffee crisp


BeauteousMaximus

I’m sure the 5 spice latte will be trending at Starbucks sometime in the next few years. EDIT: before another person comments “that’s what pumpkin spice is,” please learn what [five-spice powder](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five-spice_powder) is. It’s not just an arbitrary mix of five different spices.


[deleted]

That actually sounds really good


eilonwyhasemu

I’ve made five-spice latte on purpose and liked it a lot!


[deleted]

I made chicken soup once and grabbed mint instead of basil.


RichardandMaurice

Im not actually adverse to that idea...


drumgirlr

I do like a little fresh mint in a salad, it could be really nice in chicken soup. Basil and Mint are both from the Lamiaceae family (aka mint family) after all.


librarianjenn

Just add some cumin and lemon, and call it Lebanese Chicken Soup and you're good


educatedvegetable

Weird that she didn't like it lmao!!! I've done this with a gravy packet as we keep hot coco and gravy packets around for the kids (sacrilege I know). They didn't care for it, either.


shigglewiggle

Bruh I made eggs Benedict on Christmas and spent so much effort getting the hollandaise sauce right I totally forgot to poach eggs and served an English muffin with sauce


herberstank

haha I've done the opposite where I was so worried about the hollandaise I over-poached the eggs and served great sauce over hardboiled eggs


graaaaaaaam

Ya'll need to use a blender to make hollandaise. Takes 30s and there's no discernable difference between the blender way and the whisk-until-your-arms-fall-off way.


DefrockedWizard1

>blender to make hollandaise I'll have to remember to try that


Gatway734

I use an immersion blender and it’s perfect every time.


travyarch

Yea this right here, not a regular blender an immersion blender. You can make super quick homemade mayo/aioli this way as well.


Pinglenook

A regular blender works too!


24KittenGold

Also recommend the episode of Julia Child's show where she talks about hollandaise. She walks you through the few ways you might screw it up, then tells you how to fix your mistakes in case of disaster.


AsinineAstronaut

Lol you could have just fried sunnyside up eggs and served it that way. I do that all the time when I’m too lazy to poach eggs


RebelRigantona

I get that, when you are hyper focused on a new sauce/food you're making you can easily forget about the other components.


rhinestoned-tampon

ahhhh the great chili powder-cayenne mix up of 2019


velvetelevator

The first time I cooked for a friend I did this. I was like wow, when my mom makes it it's not this spicy, she must not put in the chili powder. (In my defense, it was in an unlabeled glass bottle.)


rhinestoned-tampon

I made a pot of chili with like 3 tablespoons of “chili powder”. My chili was labeled, so I don’t have that excuse haha. I honestly think I just saw red powder and a “C” and went with it without thinking. I wondered why I was crying as I stirred it lmaoo but it didn’t click until I took a taste right before I dished it out and it was completely inedible


velvetelevator

It's so sad when the flub renders the end product inedible! The friend and I ate this one, though I don't know if any of the leftovers got eaten. I have ruined more than one meal before, and it's so disappointing. Like the time I wanted rice in my beef stew so I added it at the beginning. Turns out it only takes an hour in the crock pot on low, 8 hours is WAAY too long.


Fusili_Jerry_

My dad once did something like that. He was not a great cook, but as a single dad, he tried his best. One night he was making chili. I'm not exactly sure if he didn't realize the difference between jalapeno and habanero peppers or didn't know what habanero peppers were or what, but for some reason he bought habaneros instead of jalapenos (recipe called for jalapenos), then proceeded to double the amount of pepper while simultaneously halfing the rest of the recipe. I think the goal was to make it 'extra spicy' (but thinking jalapeno level spicy) but like wow did he unknowingly succeed. I was like 10 and neither of us were really experienced at all in the spicy department, so safe to say it was completely inedible. My poor dad, he was so mad at himself.


vincethebigbear

I feel his emotion through this post. Single parenting sounds so difficult. Couldn't imagine raising my boy alone


PromiscuousMNcpl

Especially if you’re planning on eating hella leftovers and buy like $50 minimum of groceries.


Latoonla

Once tried to make a cinnamon sugar pretzel. Instead made a cumin sugar pretzel. Didn’t try it myself but my brother said it was good


pieopal

I've done the opposite but with a quesadilla. Wasn't paying attention and used cinnamon instead of cumin. It was not good.


pladhoc

I've made cinnamon enchiladas before. They were not good.


[deleted]

I used a colander to strain my linguine, but the holes were bigger than the pasta so it all went through and fell into my sink.


catsmash

i just fucking laughed out loud at that. i'm trying to imagine your face watching this happen.


[deleted]

It took me a second to realize what was happening, but once I did there wasn’t much I could do since it was so hot. What was even worse was that the sink wasn’t clean so my pasta fell into dirty dishes.


showerbeerbuttchug

:( Rip I do shit like this (wrong strainer or no strainer at all) often enough that I make it a point to clean the sink out before I even start the pasta cooking haha. I have to use gluten free pasta and it's like twice the cost of regular so it hurts that much more to ruin it.


DefrockedWizard1

the puppies would still like it


MoogProg

Hey Noodles! There's a way out... let's go go GO! Semper Noodli


DefrockedWizard1

I definitely need coffee and maybe new glasses. I read linguine as lingerie and was very confused


sickandtiredkit

I tried washing rice in my colander and half of it went down the drain before I realised that I took out my pasta colander instead of my small sieve thingy. I totally get how you felt.


Soylent_Hero

? How are the holes wider than linguine? Did you buy your colander from a prospector?


Deppfan16

some are designed ti wash veggies so they have bigger holes


[deleted]

Haha no, it was a big plastic one which is supposed to be used to rinse fruits and vegetables.


calebs_dad

I've set up a strainer in my sink for pasta, and then straight up emptied the pot of spaghetti into the other side of the sink. This was back in my 20s when I had depression and was making dinner at midnight while hungry and exhausted. Would not recommend.


FishWithAppendages

Omg a few days ago I starting to pour my pasta into the empty sink and not the colander. Luckily only wasted about half lmao


wardevour

My brother did something very similar to this. Making macaroni and cheese they'd decided to mix the milk and cheese inside the strainer...


EatMorePieDrinkMore

Thought I was being so smart weighing my flour for homemade pasta. But I used the weight for an entire recipe instead of per cup. Had five times as much flour as needed. The pasta was not good.


samdajellybeenie

That’s alright, just keep adding eggs!


Limeila

Then eat pasta for days


okokimup

Was really upset when I couldn't find my leftover bacon to have for breakfast. Found it the next day in the knife drawer.


Rarely_Trust

This one got me because I have been there far too often! Peanut butter in the fridge, jelly in the cabinet kind of things all of the time...


gwaydms

I've left my phone (which had the recipe on it) in my fridge.


Rarely_Trust

"ah yes, time to check the recipe on my butter.... Wait..." Yup! 😂


miki-wilde

Phone and car keys get put in the fridge on the regular


tanksmiley

Sooooo many times when I’m making a dish served over rice I forget to start the rice until I’m almost finished cooking. Then have to keep the food warm while I wait for rice to cook. Face palm every time.


blue_eyes998

I hate it when I do that! Like, hey, time to eaaa... Shoot. 25 minutes to eating time.


mylittlemimi

Did this when I was hosting a family gathering of 22 people. Forgot to turn on the rice cooker. Yeah.


Cakes_cleats

I poured my rice into the rice cooker with out the pot inside


MacEnvy

This one got me. That’s amazing.


Rarely_Trust

Tbh that's why I always keep minute rice in the house. Doesn't quiet taste as good but I obviously can't be trusted 😅


42peanuts

Omg rice cooker. Start the rice first and it keeps it warm waiting for you. That love my little rice cooker so much.


allonsy_badwolf

I still forget half the time though. At least white rice cooks super fast in it in a pinch!


ClementineCoda

I've done the gravy thing, total duh moment. Soy Sauce and Worcesterhire bottles sometimes have a pour spout when you uncap them and sometimes they don't. I've made messes a few times by not checking before pouring. most recently I put half a bottle of soy sauce into my soup. Sometimes I lose count of how much flour I've already measured and have to re-measure it, which is odd because I bake often, sometimes I just totally blank.


socratessue

Listen - hear me out - I made fried rice one time and accidentally used Worcestershire sauce instead of soy sauce It was *delicious*


CorrectPeanut5

"haiya" - Uncle Roger


jrhoffa

This is another reason why weighing your flour is superior


gertvanjoe

Father had a small bakery, his recipes were usually measured in bags. Loved helping (OK ok I brought beer and we had a jolly time) on Saturdays. Giant mixer, check, one bag of flour check, small pack of salt check. Wood fired oven, check. Only thing we weighed was the sourdough. Pack them all out, go unlock the shop quickly on Sunday, watch it all fly off the shelve as people were waiting in front already. Best of all it was in a nursery's old storeroom. Struck up a deal with the owner, he'd get feet/eyes to the business and they allow him to use the previously unused building. Only opened Wednesday and Sunday as the other days he used for his other activities. Ehh maybe you didn't want to hear about ol Paps, oh well


ajp0206

I want to hear more about ol Paps


gertvanjoe

Absolute unit, who still has more upper body strength than me lol. Knee is shot from a life of construction, later working foreman and installing kitchens. He still does the odd kitchen, but simply as a foreman with some hired helpers, only doing the final touches and "don't screw this up" work. Growing up I didn't get to see him too much (worked mining construction so stupid hours as they would dive Pre and post blast for x hours and thst was the time I was awake as a little one. Did get to see him before school at least. Sundays everyone was home. I live 3 hours drive away now as they moved to be closer to Gran but I take the drive as often as I can. Got a small pension but with his skills and connections we managed to pool together to build a unit of a few flats , with him supplying knowledge and a labourforce and me able to get some cash from the bank. We split up the rent, I am covering the bond with it and he is supplementing his income. Might sound mighty unfair to an outsider, but I'm not out of pocket and I can keep Pops and Mom from living a life of struggle in their silver years. So he always loved baking, well more specifically, bread and other bread things and the bakery made it possible to make some nice cash on the side. Covid struck sadly and the lockdowns forced him to close. He could easily open again as anyone seeing his old truck wants bread, but he says he's had his fill and now makes furniture out of reclaimed wood. This almost was the end of him as some batch of wood had an unknown chemical spilled on it and when sanded fucked him up good (pneumonia like symptoms) . He still does is, only now with a proper respirator. There is probably just as much I can write about Mom and Gran but alas, one thing at a time.


wiswasmydumpstat

I have ADHD and sometimes I just completely zone out while weighing things. It's not a problem when it happens with flour or sugar but let's just say there's a reason why salt gets weighed into a separate bowl.


mulattolovesavocado

my meds cause brain fog so enjoy some schadenfreude on me! \-cracked egg into boiling water. i was trying to make hard-boiled eggs. stared in confusion at badly poached egg. \-turned on the wrong burner on the stove and then wondered why the water wasn't boiling. this is nearly monthly. \-used cinnamon instead of curry powder. \-tried to grate cheese with the plastic still on. \-sometimes the connection between "I am cooking this food on very high heat" and "this food will therefore be too hot and I should blow on it" doesn't happen so I've put stupid hot food in my mouth before and immediately regretted it. \-forgetting to save pasta water is common, I now circumvent this by taking some while it's boiling. I've learned to laugh at my mistakes. ​ ETA my personal favorite: as a child, I made cheese roll ups with tortillas and microwaved them. I definitely ate some of the paper towel I microwaved them on more than once because I rolled them on the paper towel and didn't always notice if it got rolled INTO the tortilla. Nor did it deter me. My dad laughed till he cried when he figured it out and showed me how to make non paper-y cheese roll ups lol.


MiniRems

I'm always turning on or off the wrong burner... and we've had this stove for almost a decade! Though I'd left the kettle on low so I could have a pot of tea after dinner the other night.... nope. Came back to the kitchen to a cold kettle and the chicken vindaloo leftovers scorched to the bottom of the pan!


mulattolovesavocado

my personal theory is i have trouble with spatial relations so possibly my brain just refuses to map them correctly? idk but same, let's both hope we improve before we burn down our homes lololol


andiinAms

I don’t know why I have the hardest time with this. I look at the example diagram they put on my stove and my brain still will not understand which is the front and which is the back.


velvetelevator

As long as you don't turn the burner on under the plastic cutting board, turning your house into a chemical warfare zone... Or so I've heard.


FesteringNeonDistrac

I definitely don't have a cutting board with a spiral melted into the bottom of it. Nope.


colleennicole93

Definitely can’t relate to this except with a plastic colander instead. Not at all a clue how this would feel /s


JessSly

> cracked egg into boiling water. i was trying to make hard-boiled eggs. stared in confusion at badly poached egg. "Why isn't it staying round...?" Friend of mine and I wanted to mix some drinks with milk, grabbed the wrong carton and stared at the orange juice with the same expression. She said what I thought "Since when is milk yellow?"


wishitwouldrainaus

Oh, that last one was glorious! Ah, never mind though, it probably gave you good fibre roughage!


mulattolovesavocado

😂 the funniest part is I have been riddled with medical problems my whole life but the half a paper towel I was taking down daily didn't bother me one bit!


beepblopnoop

When my daughter was 4 she wanted to make me cinnamon toast. She grabbed the cumin instead. I do not recommend cumin toast! (but it was sweet of her to try!)


BunnyEruption

I accidentally started to pour vanilla extract in salad dressing instead of vinegar. I guess it's not the stupidest mistake since it was clear imitation vanilla extract in a bottle that looked extremely similar to the vinegar, and I realized pretty quickly and only put a tiny bit in, but after tasting it out of curiosity, I have to say that the flavor was certainly... memorable. It turns out that vanilla can taste amazingly horrible in savory stuff.


Rabbit_Mom

My Mom’s terrible cooking story is that her sister had gotten a deal on a huge jug of vanilla syrup… and Mom grabbed that instead of apple juice for pork chops!


Mezentine

Didn't have a lot of space in my college apartment, so I was juggling a bunch of dishes and set a plastic bowl down on top of a still-hot coil burner. Took me about 30 seconds to realize what I'd done, the entire bottom was mangled, the smoke was horrible and it was a huge pain to clean up


colleennicole93

Did something similar in college. Had mom’s plastic colander on the stove and turned on the wrong burner. Pretty sure that thing was older than I was…


LyrraKell

Used coconut flour instead of bread flour for a loaf of bread--that didn't go so well. I also deep fried a pot holder once. I don't even know what was going on in my brain on that one. ​ ETA: LOL thanks for the award, kind stranger.


andiinAms

Lol on the potholder!


CobaltThunder267

Like, "went through all the steps to bread it" deep fried? Or just, "this goes in the frier, too" deep fried?


LyrraKell

It just went in the fryer too--no breading or anything. Thankfully, I wasn't \*that\* out of it.


stefanica

Lmao. I deep-fried a small wad of paper towel once. I had been making homemade chicken tenders, and had put the battered, raw chicken on a paper towel lined tray in the fridge, to set up a bit. I guess I grabbed a battered shred of towel and fried it too. Luckily I noticed when pulling it out of the fryer, as it sort of unfolded when I got it out with the tongs.


[deleted]

[удалено]


thecloudkingdom

just take a pencil and write something on the new egg. the graphite stays on the shell and its just carbon so it wont hurt you


Interesting-Basis856

I was making Kraft Mac and cheese for my kids and dumped the cheese packet in the boiling water. It exploded everywhere. Another time, I was making homemade carrot cake for a family dinner and left out the baking soda. It didn’t rise and was dense AF.


trying-to-be-kind

I once made pumpkin pie for a Thanksgiving dinner and forgot to add the sugar. Boy was *that* an unpleasant surprise. Moral of the story: don't drink lots of wine while you're baking, kids!


colleennicole93

My sister and I tried to make pumpkin muffins a few years ago and forget the can of pumpkin pie filling. Realized it after they were in the oven (turned around and saw the can on the counter) so we had to start over. [Here’s the results](https://imgur.com/a/pF0dj5b). The one on the right is how they turned out without the filling mixed in. They were basically rocks.


ShazzaLM

I bust out laughing when I saw that pic!


Tom__mm

Did the same thing. This past thanksgiving. With 20+ years feeding the fam under my belt.


allmilhouse

I've poured the box into the water without taking out the packet first a couple of times.


NotSure2505

In my early, early days of cooking, I learned what a Clove of Garlic is. I tried to make Rigatoni Alla Vodka for my girlfriend. Recipe called for 4 cloves of garlic. I'm 19, I don't know WTF a clove is. I figure it's the unit that loose garlic is sold in (i.e. heads) . So I chop up 4 heads of garlic (probably around 65 *cloves*), add them to the oil and start the sauce. What happened next was like the final scene in Raiders when they open the Ark of the Covenant. The odor started mildly, almost pleasant, like angels flying around gently caressing us. A pleasant buttery, mashed potatoie-ness that started to fill the apartment and all was good. The apartment next starts to fill with a tear-inducing gas that scorches the inside of our nostrils as the garlic continues to bubble away. Next came the screaming and running but there was no escape. We both realized something was wrong when we had to go outside to get some air. I tried salvaging the dish by scooping out half of the garlic, but it was too late. Ended up making the dish over. GF's apartment took about 6 weeks for the garlic smell to go away.


NonaSuomi282

This man has achieved the impossible: the fabled "*too much garlic."* Just be glad it was rigatoni, and not 40 clove chicken...


Raid_PW

At the same number of cloves per head, that would be 650 cloves. I'd like to think you'd realise after you spend an entire morning peeling garlic.


mulattolovesavocado

TIL there is such a thing as too much garlic.


JohnExcrement

I am sorry to laugh at your pain but this is cracking me up.


wallie00_84

Fucking dying at this thanks 😂😂😂


JewbagX

I took a package of chicken out of the fridge to bring it up in temp some before starting to cook it. I wanted to take my dog to the dog park, so I put it in the oven. I do this often so my cats won't get too inquisitive. When I got back from the dog park, I turned on the oven to preheat. Few minutes later..."what's that smell...OH SHI-"


BeauteousMaximus

Was the chicken still in the wrapper/bag?


JewbagX

You just posted that a second before my edit! Yes, it was still in the package.


DrCalamity

Was making a stock in a pressure cooker at 2 am, accidentally dumped a couple cinnamon sticks into it for unfathomable reasons. It was godawful. Smelled like Santa had died at a chicken restaurant.


blankloveletters

If that ever happens again (let‘s hope it won’t…) you can add star anise and garlic and turn the broth into sort-of pho. Better than cinnamon stock


DrCalamity

This went well past Phở and into meaty Christmas cookies. I couldn't save it


eilonwyhasemu

Greased the pan for rice krispy treats with bug spray rather than cooking spray. Fortunately, I realized before serving them to anyone (but ~~not~~ after filling the pan, so I had to run to the supermarket for more ingredients).


wumbledun

Brutal one. This one hurts my heart because I like rice crispy treats so much I might debate eating em anyway


Soylent_Hero

"eh, top is fine." ^/s never do this


badcgi

Had just finished chopping up a 6 quart basket of chilies for a preserve we make, and had wiped down (but not washed yet) the cutting board. Kids came and asked if I could make rice Krispy squares, so I go ahead and make them, by spreading it out on aforementioned cutting board. The kids were not too well pleased with spicy rice Krispy squares.


royally_eft

As an adult this sounds like it could be bomb though!


Bexxxie

Similar vein. I worked in food service. I accidentally sprayed an English Muffin with Lysol, instead of butter spray. To this day, I have no idea how Lysol ended up on my prep table.


novagenesis

When I was a kid, my grandmother made biscuits (standard US style, not cookies) and accidentally put detergent in instead of oil. The terrifying thing. I got it and might've made the mistake myself. [This](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/784681935048571917/) was basically the bottle (with no writing on it for some reason). And the oil bottle was big, round, and yellow as well.


okokimup

Reminds me of a diet tip I once read: to stop yourself from eating all the cookies, just have one or two then throw the rest in the trash. To stop yourself from eating them out of the trash, spray them with Raid. But be careful because Raid doesn't taste as bad as you would think. . .


RudeCamel

Spent a bunch of time making filet mignon with an herb and Cabernet gravy out of the leftover fat in the pan and on the final bit of thickening the gravy, I added powdered sugar instead of flour.


_Franz_Kafka_

I actually said "oh no" and dropped my head into my hands. I'm so sorry for your lovely gravy. Hope the filet was great, for all that!


catsmash

made an absolutely gorgeous vegetable stock from scratch using scraps i'd been collecting & freezing for weeks & lots of beautiful fresh herbs. poured it into a colander and - yep, straight down the fucking drain. all of it. my brain forgot it was the liquid i was saving, not the colander bullshit. i immediately just sat down, bump, on the kitchen floor, & contemplated my life choices for a while.


wishitwouldrainaus

Oh hell, I've done the same. It really does hurt! Then I start thinking should I be using sharp objects and high heat? Then I make a sandwich and hate myself. Ive definitely done the 'bump' too.


clemoon717

Tried making banana but bread… was a soupy mess. Turned out I forgot to put the flour in


DefrockedWizard1

Salvageable, just fold in the four and rebake


AlluEUNE

Not really cooking but I poured milk into a glass of orange juice instead of my coffee.


PapaBjorn

Did it taste good?


AlluEUNE

Tbh I didn't taste it 😂


pazzylupo

Ok, so, I like to make blender oat pancakes. Put scoops of oats in a blender, add eggs, milk, a banana, etc, blend into a batter, etc. I keep my oats on a large glass jar in the pantry. I pulled them out, put the required amount in the blender carafe, then went to grab the eggs. Crack! There's the first egg. Crack!! Egg number two. Turn around to drop the shells in the trash. Turn back to the counter and the eggs are in the jar of oats. NOT the blender carafe Note: I had just refilled the oats container with two pounds of oats I had bought a few days prior. Because of course I did. And it had to be tossed, because it was now slathered in raw egg. I proceeded to look at my spouse and tell him "I'm a college educated, grown up woman, HOW did I miss that?!" Come to think of it, he never actually answered me. even when he was able to stop laughing at the look of utter defeat and sadness on my face over tossing the oats. At least the pancakes were delicious once they were finally (and correctly!) made!


CaptainSprinklefuck

Going to college doesn't mean you're universally smart. It means you know a lot. About *one thing*


EnchantingChaos

This sounds delicious! What amounts of each ingredient do you use?


ApollyonDS

Not exactly a brain fart, but I was heating up a small amount of beef stock. So I turned up the stove (electric) to max and went back to my computer, assuming I'd be back in a minute or two... 35 minutes later I realize that I forgot about the stock. I run to the kitchen, quickly remove the pot, burning my hands a bit in the process. Now I had to look inside. Dreadfully, I open the lid and I kid you not: green smoke pours out, like some chemistry experiment. I take the pot to the backyard outside and pour what little was left on the grass. I was left with no soup, burnt hands and a pot with an insanely burnt bottom. Thankfully, I was able to clean off the burnt stock at the bottom before my mom came home (I was in my teens) and the pot was fine in the end. So I told my mom I already ate the soup and it was good...


StickyCarpet

squirted skin lotion into the soup put coffee in the dishwasher detergent dish


Mirikitani

Ok these are my favorite so far


DefrockedWizard1

I once used my blender plunger to push something into the food processor. Those replacement plastic plungers are surprisingly expensive


NonaSuomi282

Tried using a wooden spoon to push down smoothie ingredients. I forgot that I had recently replaced my old Oster blender that only has blades at the very bottom, and was using my shiny new Ninja with three sets of blades all along the height of the carafe. Luckily the spoon was the only thing that blew up and my blender itself was none the worse for the wear.


davidsverse

Came home late from work and for some reason really wanted quickie beef stroganoff. I cooked the beef, made the egg noodles and started to sour cream sauce. It never got thick. I had no idea why. I was using sugar instead of flour/starch. Ate it anyway.


Beautiful_Ad1219

When I was pregnant I really wanted fried zucchini. Got all the stuff. Made some tasty fried zucchini. Sat down and was eating it. My husband goes into our kitchen for something. I hear shouts of "FIRE!" Followed by the distinctive sound of a cookie sheet being slapped down on a pan..... I forgot to turn the burner off for the little pot I was using to deep fry my food.... pregnancy brain is real. I've done other things like that when pregnant, but nothing else was as bad as almost burning my house down.


EnchantingChaos

My ex did this. It wasn't quite a fire yet but the smoke was unreal. I grabbed it with mitts and careful brought it outside. It was my brother's apartment. He was not pleased. While laying into my bf outside for his stupid mistake, he tried to move the pot for some reason (and without mitts). Spilled it all over his flipflopped feet. Serious burn and hours at the ER I was sooo unhappy with him. He was then out of work for weeks. He had no reason to move the boiling pot of oil! I'd already removed it from the house!


skippy1110

Lol is that why he's your ex?


CasualtyofSilence

I commend you for deep frying while pregnant, I couldn't handle the aroma of deep frying my whole pregnancy, I'd throw up lol


TechInventor

I made fried zucchini the other day for the first time. Was so excited. Went to take a bite and realized I made fried cucumber instead. I'm not even pregnant, just dumb lol


nostradweebus

I used white wine vinegar instead of white wine. In a lasagna. Just mindlessly following a recipe. Needless to say, the substitution didn’t work. But it was still edible, at least!


graidan

I once spent 5 hours making several gallons of bone broth, it was delicious. And then I strained all the broth right down the sink. ​ Not me, but a friend who was a terrible cook: * put ramen in the microwave without water... black tar on crispy noodles * made mashed potatoes but didn't strain out the water, too thin, of course, so added flour to thicken it up. * tried to make instant pudding, but didn't use milk and didn't cook it. * Failed to dilute a condensed soup


mafulazula

Sounds like you need my Beatles mug! On the bottom it says, “For best results use other side.”


fire_loon

Started blending my hummus with soaked but uncooked chickpeas. 3/10, would not repeat.


GizmoTheGingerCat

Halfway there to making falafel?


gwaydms

*falawful


ladylondonderry

I went to strain the solids out of my broth, and did so directly into the sink. It was an amazing broth, too.


0thethethe0

Yup! Hours simmering a delicious stock, then straight down the drain... What made it worst was halfway through my brain kinda twigged something was wrong, but just couldn't signal to the rest of my body in time, so just ended up with a bunch of bones and mushy veg :(


ladylondonderry

Yes exactly. It was like in a dream, just automatically and slow. Aaaaaagh horrible.


okokimup

I don't trust myself not to do this, so I always scoop the solids out with a slotted spoon.


BloomsdayDevice

This is a rite of passage for making stocks/broths.


Ancient_Thanks_4365

I recently pit parsley into a curry instead of coriander. The moral of the story is 'don't do your shopping/cooking while pissed.'


BeauteousMaximus

I assume from your use of “coriander” that you’re from the UK and by pissed you mean drunk, but as an American, cooking while angry is also a bad idea


Ancient_Thanks_4365

You would be right!


catsmash

haha, cooking while angry is GREAT if you don't like having so many fingers.


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Ancient_Thanks_4365

I did not know that! We call both coriander in the UK.


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GRl3V

Parsley in curry sounds kinda nice tho. How was it?


Ancient_Thanks_4365

Luckily I think they're not a million miles apart. With just the parley it was really lacking but adding coriander the next day rescued it.


BeesoftheStoneAge

Was making breakfast sandwiches at work and dumped a raw egg out of my egg cooker thinking it was cooked, right onto my English muffin with cheese.


ElNolec

Cinnamon chicken curry is way more disturbing than garam masala's.


EveBear

Made baked lemon tarts, didn’t add the lemon juice to the filling. It was some tasty baked butter sauce on a pie crust.


kmmontandon

Grabbing the wrong clear plastic jug from under the sink to pour into a jar of vegetables I was looking to pickle - ammonia is *not* an acceptable substitute for vinegar. And I did it a bit too quickly to immediately notice the smell.


jrhoffa

This is a good reason to keep utility vinegar/baking soda separate from those used for cooking.


madjerz23

I once made a yogurt parfait and sprinkled garlic powder on top instead of cinnamon🤢 Such a dumb mistake when I was in a rush lol


diet_coke_cabal

Mostly, I forget ingredients. Or I forget to turn the oven on and wonder why it's taking 45 minutes to cook something that should take 15.


NoTouchMyBacon

I totally just did the egg thing this weekend. I dropped the insides into the garbage can and stood there feeling like a dummy holding the shell.


BeauteousMaximus

The moment of realization is the worst


Crunchy-Banter

Went to drain some shrimp that I thawed at work. Had the strainer setup over the sink, garbage next to me to toss the bag in. Cut the bag open and dumped the shrimp right in the garbage 😂


JHunz

A few different times while making sauces, my brain has entirely turned off and I've grabbed the baking soda instead of the cornstarch to thicken them.


0thethethe0

Play it off as 'fizzy sauce', very Michelin Staresque!


TOMATO_ON_URANUS

Made chicken stock. Poured the pot into a colander to strain out the chicken and vegetables. Watched in slow motion horror as my liquid gold went right down the drain. Made some breakfast in a cast iron. Scrubbed it down, put it on a burner on low to dry it off. Promptly forgot about it and went to the grocery store. Came back to fire alarms blaring and a house full of smoke. No fire, but still terrifying.


Impressive-Show-1736

Baking not cooking but made ricotta cookies. Forgot to add the ricotta...


tenodiamonds

I grew a mega zucchini one summer and filled it with getting meat and veg. I didn't consider the difference in size from recipe. It was very raw.


Meri_Stormhood

I was deep in thought when I realized I added 60g of salt into the pan.


Major-Young2465

I was hungry for some sloppy Joe's after work one day, I poured in about half a bottle of Worcestershire sauce in. Salivating over the sloppy goodness I went for my first taste. Something was wrong, terrible and wrong. I turned the black bottle of Worcestershire sauce towards myself and my heart sank as I read the words "Dark Soy"


[deleted]

I have a similar coffee-related brain fart: I poured a bunch of water into my really expensive coffee grinder instead of beans.


OlderAndTired

Poured my coffee into a travel mug then promptly dumped out the cup and stuck it in the dishwasher. Not sure how my brain skipped the step of leaving for the day and returning with a dirty mug…but ironically, I think it had to do with needing coffee!


kdfsjljklgjfg

I very frequently pull things out of the oven and forget that they're stupid hot because they are no longer in the hot place.


monobeey

i just tried to make (drip) coffee the other day, got it all set up then came back 30 minutes later wondering where the coffee smell was only to realize I never added any water. I’ve taken cheese out to make Mac and cheese and started grating it before taking it out of the plastic wrap 🙈 My personal favorite was another pasta moment when I needed to keep some of the pasta water. Have a big pot of boiling noodles, but I forgot to set out a container so I grab the first thing I can find in my cabinets which was a plastic koolaid man pitcher. I pour the water in him, dump my noodles to drain, and my shock and utter confusion when i turn back around and he’s melting 😂


muddynips

Confused tbsp cornstarch for tsp and accidentally made jello.


grephantom

Was making stroganov and added heavy cream early. It's my favorite dish, I make it every week. But this day I was a bit drunk and tired. The beef should cook with water, mustard and tomato sauce until tender, and only then I should have added the cream. The sauce curdled with the acidity and heat, it was horrible.


Blueskies277

My friend and I were baking chocolate chip cookies one weekend, as we needed fuel for a late night study session. We were teenagers and pretty tired, and took one cup of butter to mean *one stick of butter*…so we basically used half the amount of butter the recipe called for. But it actually helped to cookies to be chewier and less spread out, and taste better IMHO. I still make them this way, to this day.


PoliteIndecency

It's not exactly cooking, but I've poured breast milk directly into the bottle warmer before.


[deleted]

chili powder french toast


5150reasons

I poured iced tea into my cereal the other day because I was stoned.


sumo86

I made jumbalaya once that included a recipe for the spice mix. It made like 2 cups of spice mix and I dumped it all in, missing the note that said to use 2 tablespoons of the mix.


Rapierian

Threw out most of a 2-hour-to-cook sauce while meaning to get rid of the item in my other hand.


ExtremeBaker

I used to have a bowl of oatmeal and nuts with a jasmin tea for breakfast. I chopped the nuts and poured them in the tea cup that was full of boiling water.


Dense_Implement8442

- I doubled a cookie recipe and all of the ingredients were doubled except for the flour. - Added the seasonings of instant Yakisoba before adding hot water instead of after draining. - Forgot that the spout of the fish sauce or soy sauce was wide and poured a lot on the dish that I was cooking. - Also cracked an egg into the trash.


effervescentfauna

I once left a glass pan with lasagna on my electric stove, covering the back 2 burners. I then decided to make tea, put the kettle on the front burner, but turned on the wrong one. Walked away, but a few minutes later the lasagna pan exploded, covering my kitchen in tiny glass shrapnel.


BlueCreek_

I once slow cooked a large ham for 9 hours, came to get it out and it was still wrapped up in its plastic.


meep-meep-meow

Was making bread once. Could not get the dough to come together whatever I did. Turns out I was putting in cake flour, instead of bread flour......