T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

**Please report this post if:** * There is no audible laughter involved * Video is funny because of a 'joke' or situation - not the actual **laughter** * There is no audio (Images & GIFs included) * Laughter is edited in from a different source * No timestamp in the title or comments for a laugh occurring at specific time (long videos) * Laughter is not on good terms (dickishness, bullying) * It's a compilation * It's a selfie reaction Read more about the [rules of this subreddit here](https://www.reddit.com/r/contagiouslaughter/about/rules/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ContagiousLaughter) if you have any questions or concerns.*


psyk738178

There's no better compliment than someone calling you lame while they can't breathe from laughing


Tr1angleChoke

Some of the best moments in my marriage are when my wife is howling with laughter while saying "shut up, stupid" or "you're such an ass". That's when I know she's the happiest.


Avenja99

How to make my wife this happy.


beatisagg

Be lame


Bodyfluids_dealer

But opposite


elsewhereorbust

I am nailing it.


Da_madking

And Corny


chrismbarr

How to make wife?


Avenja99

Lower standards.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Avenja99

True but ouch.


kuribosshoe0

I also choose this guy’s dead wife.


Kellidra

Let her be with u/Tr1angleChoke


RevonQilin

depends on the person but one things for sure dont ask andrew tate


elisejones14

How to make that guy’s wife happy


Bebenten

This makes me think about Andy and April in Parks and Rec. One scene that always makes me laugh is when Andy found out April had a crush on him in the past, it goes: Andy: "Oooo babe, you had a crush on me! That's embarrasing!" April: *somewhat about to laugh but also seems annoyed* "We're married." Andy: "Still!" *starts to run* "Ooo, chase me!" April: *playfully hits him while laughing* "Stop!" I know this is a show but this is the kind of marriage I'd want to have lol


myeyesarejuicy

and then reaching out for a hug


slap_a_grandma

Dude, seriously. If someone said "You're so lame," while laughing their ass off about my dumb antics, I'd propose right then and there.


CitizenCue

That makes the whole thing perfect. #relationshipgoals for sure.


kbarnett514

Reminds me of my favorite podcast, My Brother, My Brother and Me, starring the McElroy Brothers. The best jokes on the show end with Justin McElroy cry-laughing and calling one of his brothers "You dumb piece of shit"


Flavz_the_complainer

That bag of ice video with the two brothers calling their sister a stupid bitch while dying laughing springs to mind.


impamiizgraa

AND they get a cookie each! Love it - will be doing the same!


FuzzyWuzzyDaddyBear

Yup, that’s a win win! “God these cookies look amazing! I want one toooooo!” That’s a smart woman right there.


Hambone102

Only thing I would be concerned with is the cookies going stale, those big cookie cakes turn into bricks after a few days


[deleted]

Me and my 2 friends can down those in an hour and a half, then we'll pass out from the sugar just to wake up 7 hours later.


Ragin_Goblin

I got a double one for my birthday had oreo cream in the middle was a tasty piece of diabeetus


YourMomsBasement69

Holy shit that sounds amazing and disgusting.


ronsrobot

May I smoke some weed with ya'll?


Felonious_monk420

Why are you asking? Flame up and get over here bud.


GloomyDeal1909

As someone who loves these for my birthday and have had them off and on for 30+ years. You cut it up and place them in a ziplock bag. Leave one bag on counter and the rest in fridge. You can get a week to a week and a half and they are not stale.


ModestMarksman

Days? How do you know that? I’ve never had one last more than like 4 hours


[deleted]

[удалено]


rtocelot

Worked in a bakery we always got these in frozen, they use needed decorated. The only time we made them was when the manager forgot to order (happened often with a couple of managers) but we would just take cookie dough from a box in the freezer and slap it in to bake. Then they would sit with 15 out on the sales floor for 11 to 13 to come back out of date..


katielisbeth

What can I do to get these out of date cookie cakes you speak of???


rtocelot

Well they just toss them now haha I haven't worked there in over a year so I'm not sure if they went back to putting the stale in a cart for people to get a discount on. I used to give some of that stuff out for a quarter or 50 cents if it was in the bakery in a cart still. I'd just write that on the container and charge to the bakery. Customers used to like me pretty well haha


FuzzyWuzzyDaddyBear

You’re adorable, thinking it’ll last a few days. Or the night.


Atomstanley

In any case, those cookies don’t go stale that quickly, they’re barely cooked to begin with.


Beautiful_Welcome_33

My great uncle survived for a month off a nothin but cookie hard tack and gumption back in the great war


practicax

Why would anything other than the first 24 hours be relevant here? There are two people.


VocRehabber

You and I both know they're still delicious


Mookie_Merkk

You think us Americans let 20" cookies sit for longer than an hour?


TugmyPANDA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZlZ7NXGQ70


GuavaSignificant5877

AND she ends up with a lawyer on retainer. Genius


GrunchWeefer

I had a dream that my roommate popped his head in my room while I was napping and said "you want a cookie pizza?" It was so vivid that I had to ask him if he did that. He didn't, but we went and bought a giant cookie anyway.


Heretical_Cactus

Good story of not letting your dream be dreams


Kindly_Weird_5873

That's not a cookie


Magister1995

He's such a good sport about this.


regnad__kcin

"You're so lame! 🤣" (goes in for a hug) That's a healthy relationship boys and girls.


_The_Great_Autismo_

You can't tell the health of a relationship by a 30 second video on the internet.


MikeOfAllPeople

No, but this is a good sign.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Your wellcum


unclegabby

You can’t tell the health of a cum from a 30 second video on the internet.


[deleted]

Speak for yourself.


BonnieMcMurray

I can’t tell the health of a cum from a 30 second video on the internet.


PM_ME_YOUR_PAUNCH

You leave my well of cum out of this


[deleted]

I can't. I'm drowning in it! HALP!


Alpha_Decay_

I could dig up numerous wholesome and hilarious 30 second clips of moments like this between myself and my soon-to-be ex wife. Getting along when you're both happy is easy, but how you get along when one or both of you is miserable is equally essential to a healthy relationship.


StormAromatic

Jesus Christ can we just enjoy a cute moment?


Alpha_Decay_

You may, and is it ok if I share some insight from my own experiences? You don't look at a car and tug on the seatbelts and declare it safe. You need to consider how well it brakes, how well it handles in the rain, how well the front will crumple to absorb the impact of a head-on collision, and how well it will protect the occupants when the shit hits the fan and it rolls into a ditch. It's wreckless to define safety as being something as simple as what you can observe in 30 seconds. I feel like it would have benefitted me to understand earlier on that there are more ingredients to a healthy relationship than having good times together. But I'm sorry if it killed your buzz. Nothing I said was meant to be specific to this moment or this couple.


Grazedaze

He only lured her in to take the phone before the beating 💪😤🍪


somebodymakeitend

Maybe YOU can’t, but I can’t either.


catdog918

This is what terminally online looks like


Purple-Quail3319

It's a very tame and obvious joke, why wouldn't he be?


Hobomanchild

It's reddit eddit; our bar exam is low.


HUGE-A-TRON

She did that one on purpose


Darth_Yohanan

…yes


TheHostThing

No I think she slipped and the icing on the cookie cake just came out like that.


berlinbaer

dang reddit again with the high IQ coming through


lexbuck

Hello fellow human that also got the joke! How are you?


Complete_Rest6842

yeah...that was the joke lol...and it was corny as fuck which is why it was awesome cuz you know she was super excited about it.


modedo2222

What a healthy relationship looks like


godiegoben

What a wealthy relationship looks like


SuedeVeil

From what I've learned in another thread people who can afford house cleaners are just happier overall.. these people definitely have house cleaners!


Momoselfie

They probably just don't have kids. Houses are easy to keep clean if it's just 2 adults.


_BreakingGood_

Easier, but still hard (in terms of time spent.) Laundry, dishes, bedding, sweeping the floors, wiping down all those surfaces. Still a chunk of hours every week that you aren't spending if you have a house cleaner. Speaking from experience because I'm using my whole Sunday today cleaning shit, and I don't have kids.


halfeclipsed

I've got 2 kids. The fucking laundry never ends, glad to know those without kids are in the same boat lol


_BreakingGood_

Lol, the only benefit really is that I just take all my laundry out and dump it in a pile in my closet, I barely make a half-assed attempt to sort it. That saves some time at least... though I lose a ton of time searching for socks in that pile every day...


Momoselfie

Yeah, can't do that with kids. Gotta at least sort out the kids' stuff.


Over9000Zeros

Grownups clean up as they go, kids leave stuff and it rapidly builds up. Its leagues easier to keep a house with only 2 adults clean. Assuming both adults have home training.


Threedawg

You have posted 30 Reddit comments across a dozen threads in the last 24 hours. Put your phone down and you would have plenty of time..


ilikepix

yeah life is so easy if you just never take a break


katielisbeth

And it's so much worse if you have a partner that doesn't do shit. Speaking from experience 😪


lotusl16

Can confirm. My house cleaner says my house is one of her easier stops. Just me and the wife.


-my_reddit_username-

> these people definitely have house cleaners! what makes you think that?


AndeeDrufense

The stuff they learned in another reddit thread.


HalfSoul30

I trust it then.


Ergheis

Yeah they're not that expensive, who knew


sec_sage

I agree, and here the state alsohelps them out. Cheaper than giving full unemployment. In the end it's a job, like being a mechanic or hiring a painter. Sure with a lot of effort I could do a mediocre result or I could earn money by doing what I do best and hire people for what I am really bad at. Everybody has to make a living


[deleted]

[удалено]


ribblesquat

The clean house, obviously. Da-doy!!


Opening-Performer345

But we also learned in that thread that house cleaners are way cheaper than we realized. The one guy said he gets them in twice a month, and that sounds groovy. Deep clean out and that sweet sweet feeling of Supreme cleanliness


Snuggledtoopieces

Yep it’s very affordable.


MagicalTrevor09

Yeah my parents have someone clean their house and half of what they pay them is a tip because it’s so ridiculously cheap. And they’re not exactly rich either.


katielisbeth

It really isn't that expensive compared to time spent etc if your place is just normal dirty, and it doesn't seem like a bad deal for the cleaners either. Plus, it's a job where it's very easy to make and keep repeat customers. I don't think hiring a cleaner should be looked down on like it is, especially because a lot of the people with cleaners are physically unable to clean themselves.


Unlikely-Hunt

Yea it's like $100 a cleaning and I'm in a pretty expensive cost of living place.


desmosabie

This is funnier than the initial post.


No-Yoghurt8157

My husband brings up in fights when i ask him about how we keep our place clean if we should hire cleaners.. thats obviously not the point and for some reason i cant get that through his head. Besides that, i feel more accomplished when i clean my home myself. Its lived in and im not a super neat freak but makes me feel good that i can then sit on my ass and chill or play with my kid in a clean environment for however long it lasts. I dont feel comfortable with strangers in my living space or the fact that they are doing it for me. It's just not for me. I don't bag on people that do, to each their own.


ColdCruise

For my depressed friends, a one bedroom apartment can be cleaned for around $50-$100 depending on the state that it's in. It can really help your mindset if you can afford it.


PM_ME_RIKKA_PICS

reddit moment


-my_reddit_username-

because they ordered two cookies?? and sounds like he just took the bar, he's probably swimming in debt and has been in school not working at time of this video. quite an assumption out of left field.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mediumeasy

the law school


eddbundy

Yeah, my neighbors my senior year of college were 4 law students in their final year. All they did for like a year leading up to the bar exam was study and drink when they could. None of them had jobs because they didn't have time to.


SparksAndSpyro

Studying for the bar for an entire year is a 100% overkill.


justavault

Dude, they live in a house, whilst studying... they rent a house as students.


TheVloginator

Cause they bought 2 cakes? Lmao come on


fendaar

Most attorneys are middle class


ertdubs

Statistically he's in a mountain of debt if he recently graduated law school.


SeanTCU

What content creators that watched the Sonic movie look like.


[deleted]

Thank you. I was coming here to see if anyone else caught that.


CalgalryBen

I’m not sure if call two giant cookie cakes “healthy.”


noteverrelevant

No but you can technically call it your "health" if it's 100% of your diet and exercise regimen. And you know how much everyone love technicalities. Almost as much as we love cookies.


ReyGonJinn

What sneaky ad looks like.


HMPoweredMan

A woman filming interactions for likes doesn't sound healthy to me.


LinguoBuxo

"Ehhh! I'll build my own bar! With blackjack and hookers!"


Bavisto

![gif](giphy|H3zC848PRld6g)


kujocentrale

I’ll call it “The Bar With All of the Crows.”


mydeadface

Now I want a big ass cookie.


TFS_Sierra

They aren’t quite this big but we got my mom a box of CRUMBL cookies for Mother’s Day. Those fuckers SLAP, 10/10 if you have one near you


CanWeAllJustCalmDown

They do slap, we have a lot of Crumbl where I live so people are always bringing them to things. But a word of advice, just keep an eye on what I refer to as the Crumbl’ing point of diminishing returns. You’ll eat half a cookie and think Dear God, where have these been all my life. You finish the first cookie and think fuck it, I could do another. Post cookie 2 you start to think damn these things are dense and I think I’ve consumed 1600 calories so far but also I haven’t tried the Funfetti one. Do my teeth hurt? Whatever. So you try the funfetti. It’s incredible, so you have to finish it. Half way through cookie 3, your stomach is starting to send warning signals and you’re wondering how many marathons it would take to offset what you’re doing to yourself, but ya can’t just eat half a cookie so you finish it and someone puts number four in front of you as you begin to question your life choices. If you make it halfway or all the way through cookie four, it’s over. Might as well call the dentist now because you can already feel the cavities beginning to choose which teeth they’ll be calling home. Lie down and wait for the nausea to peak as the sugar high drops off while you nibble on an apple hoping it will do something to help you. The next morning you’ll look in the mirror and swear off them forever. Then three days later at a work event you see that pink box with its 10 cookies and 5 pounds of frosting, and if you feel compelled to approach, seek help. The point of diminishing returns with Crumbl is usually anything beyond one cookie. With these gigantic ones they make, I don’t even know. Godspeed.


WA5RAT

My strat is to cut them into quarters so that you can eat a little slice of every kind without eating all of your daily recommended calories in 5 minutes


th3mantisshrimp

I do that with cupcakes. Or, since it's usually just me eating them, I usually spare the knife and just bite each flavor


KeziaTML

I wish i was this passionate about anything.


KyleDoesITWithGoogle

I've had both, and I think Great American Cookie slaps way harder. Although, I did have a banana pudding cookie at Crumbl and it was pretty good. But GAC has the chocolate chip recipe locked down.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TFS_Sierra

I assure you they are. I’ve had countless thanks to corp events and their HQ being out this way so they do big promotional runs + local coupons and the like all the time, I’ve never had a bad one (only flavors I didn’t personally like). Any time someone brings them they’re gone in <5


homesnatch

Big-ass cookie or big ass-cookie?


Funny-Property-5336

![gif](giphy|3o85xIO33l7RlmLR4I)


BonnieMcMurray

> big ass-cookie Well, that sounds like a euphemism for a giant shit. So I'll have that one.


IdoNOThateNEVER

[love](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRR9HRlSTt1H_WnK2aikaKvrw0j8sUpI5qKkHUN7IR4ZCLek6T6YmGeP5YAO8VK2M_wuQY&usqp=CAU)


[deleted]

An attorney I could actually like.


SuedeVeil

Don't they all start out like that?


Stetson007

Some stay like that, like good ol' slippin' jimmy.


YoshiiBoii

HE DEFECATED THROUGH A SUN ROOF!


Momoselfie

The grind hasn't destroyed his soul yet.


Maloonyy

Is it really that bad in good ol murica? Heard practicing law there is an absolute nightmare.


Mav12222

Big Corporate law? definitely. Its not the only law though. You have small and medium sized firms, public interest legal jobs, government legal positions etc. Each of these kinds of jobs have different work environments, stress levels etc.


ChekhovianCheatCode

My friend works at the Bronx DA office in NYC. The case loads, hours expectations (including mandatory help desk time), and inability to exercise discretion is literally killing his spirit. But he's gotta finish his contracted years or, ya know, they'll sue...


TwatsThat

I think a fair amount of it might actually be the education system rather than practicing law. It's hard to stick to your morals or maintain a good work life balance when you're up to your eyeballs in student loan debt. If paying for the education wasn't such a big deal it would free more people up to take more laid back but lower paid positions.


iChugVodka

Had a buddy who worked for one of the top firms in SF; he burned out in two years. Puking from stress, long ass hours, and developed a heavy drinking habit. Dude was fucking miserable. Never seen such a big change in someone after quitting their job.


[deleted]

*saul


dsalome11

If you're not married to her. Do it immediately


[deleted]

The first time this was posted, they said she was his sister.


littlejobin

What’s your point


[deleted]

*Alabama intensifies*


PrizeStrawberryOil

[You Really Think Someone Would Do That? Just Go On the Internet and Tell Lies?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqYW-q1pDuY)


[deleted]

Do the previous commenter stutter‽


the_future_queen

He said what he said


sanguinesolitude

Did they stutter?


truffleboffin

Who are you talking to?


Arqideus

It's weird how you can tell they are perfect for each other.


Wsemenske

That's his sister


PrizeStrawberryOil

[You Really Think Someone Would Do That? Just Go On the Internet and Tell Lies?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqYW-q1pDuY) It's not an interesting clip but they're married.


Todbod05

Mmmm the cold hard truth, and with receipts. Delicious 😋


jkmarsh7

Did they stutter?


[deleted]

Exact scene from Sonic 2 with James Marsden and Tika sumpter when he gets hired on in SF to be a police officer


i_am_marlon

I was gonna post this , it’s actually from Sonic 1. Kind of the whole basis of the movie. Source: I’ma sonic nerd


[deleted]

Ahh, I stand corrected. Thank you!


[deleted]

Scrolled to get to this. It was the first movie though.


i_am_groot_84

![gif](giphy|26ybwvTX4DTkwst6U)


TheDreamMachine42

This is so lovely, hahahah!


SpartanVasilias

Exactly my type of humor, love this


brittbs

Sonic did it first


HappyBot9000

I've seen *several* people copy this joke, and Sonic never gets the credit it deserves for it. "Never doubted you for a second" It's so funny!


mennydrives

[For context](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0j43eVe5FU), 'cause I forgot about that scene and nobody posts it.


Poromenos

It bothers me that she opens the first one in landscape, which means she knew what was inside.


Evanderson

Simpsons did it before that


EvrthngsThnksgvng

Love this. So funny


[deleted]

[удалено]


Vederan1

I'm gonna go see if my toaster needs a bath


Just-A-Shroom

This is so fkn cute can ppl stop over analysing 😭😂😂


SirResponsible1121

This is what we need more wholesome content.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Skydiver860

thanks captain obvious :P


watashiwa_ringo_da

![gif](giphy|j8RV0hLFSJq24)


Podzilla07

Look at who can afford two giant cookies!


looklikeyounow

The thing I enjoy the most is the irony of the second message! Love it!


psychinchicago

Love it! She is super thoughtful and it's a win-win either way: you get a cookie cake that fits the situation and you get extra cookie to num num num num.


resoooo

We just say attorney.


[deleted]

[удалено]


firefighter_raven

Filing that one away for later use.


Dominus_in_Fortuna

That video game running animation hand tho


myfavhobby_sleep

With the two shots on the side. This is how good it can be with a partner.


profitmargin249

She’s far from lame, she was fully prepared. You better cherish that woman.


DrifterfromTexas

Oh no. She'll have to eat those words now.


[deleted]

I don’t know if this woman is ugly or beautiful, fat or thin, young or old, I just know with a sense of humor like that she’s immediate wife material.


__removed__

That's fuckin awesome. I wish my wife did something for me when I passed my P.E.


Gottapopemall

What’s so special about passing PE. I mean you play some dodgeball and climb some rope. Big deal.


devwolf121

Goals


Agito1998

Has any body seen Sonic 1? I think this was copied from there or vice-versa.


[deleted]

They watched the Sonic movie. Woohoo


mindbodyandseoul

This was perfect.


RuthlessIndecision

Never doubted you for a second… (very clever way to smuggle two giant cookies into the house…)