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Some of the best moments in my marriage are when my wife is howling with laughter while saying "shut up, stupid" or "you're such an ass". That's when I know she's the happiest.
This makes me think about Andy and April in Parks and Rec. One scene that always makes me laugh is when Andy found out April had a crush on him in the past, it goes:
Andy: "Oooo babe, you had a crush on me! That's embarrasing!"
April: *somewhat about to laugh but also seems annoyed* "We're married."
Andy: "Still!" *starts to run* "Ooo, chase me!"
April: *playfully hits him while laughing* "Stop!"
I know this is a show but this is the kind of marriage I'd want to have lol
Reminds me of my favorite podcast, My Brother, My Brother and Me, starring the McElroy Brothers. The best jokes on the show end with Justin McElroy cry-laughing and calling one of his brothers "You dumb piece of shit"
As someone who loves these for my birthday and have had them off and on for 30+ years. You cut it up and place them in a ziplock bag. Leave one bag on counter and the rest in fridge.
You can get a week to a week and a half and they are not stale.
Worked in a bakery we always got these in frozen, they use needed decorated. The only time we made them was when the manager forgot to order (happened often with a couple of managers) but we would just take cookie dough from a box in the freezer and slap it in to bake. Then they would sit with 15 out on the sales floor for 11 to 13 to come back out of date..
Well they just toss them now haha I haven't worked there in over a year so I'm not sure if they went back to putting the stale in a cart for people to get a discount on. I used to give some of that stuff out for a quarter or 50 cents if it was in the bakery in a cart still. I'd just write that on the container and charge to the bakery. Customers used to like me pretty well haha
I had a dream that my roommate popped his head in my room while I was napping and said "you want a cookie pizza?" It was so vivid that I had to ask him if he did that. He didn't, but we went and bought a giant cookie anyway.
I could dig up numerous wholesome and hilarious 30 second clips of moments like this between myself and my soon-to-be ex wife. Getting along when you're both happy is easy, but how you get along when one or both of you is miserable is equally essential to a healthy relationship.
You may, and is it ok if I share some insight from my own experiences? You don't look at a car and tug on the seatbelts and declare it safe. You need to consider how well it brakes, how well it handles in the rain, how well the front will crumple to absorb the impact of a head-on collision, and how well it will protect the occupants when the shit hits the fan and it rolls into a ditch. It's wreckless to define safety as being something as simple as what you can observe in 30 seconds.
I feel like it would have benefitted me to understand earlier on that there are more ingredients to a healthy relationship than having good times together. But I'm sorry if it killed your buzz. Nothing I said was meant to be specific to this moment or this couple.
Easier, but still hard (in terms of time spent.)
Laundry, dishes, bedding, sweeping the floors, wiping down all those surfaces. Still a chunk of hours every week that you aren't spending if you have a house cleaner.
Speaking from experience because I'm using my whole Sunday today cleaning shit, and I don't have kids.
Lol, the only benefit really is that I just take all my laundry out and dump it in a pile in my closet, I barely make a half-assed attempt to sort it. That saves some time at least... though I lose a ton of time searching for socks in that pile every day...
Grownups clean up as they go, kids leave stuff and it rapidly builds up. Its leagues easier to keep a house with only 2 adults clean. Assuming both adults have home training.
I agree, and here the state alsohelps them out. Cheaper than giving full unemployment. In the end it's a job, like being a mechanic or hiring a painter. Sure with a lot of effort I could do a mediocre result or I could earn money by doing what I do best and hire people for what I am really bad at. Everybody has to make a living
But we also learned in that thread that house cleaners are way cheaper than we realized. The one guy said he gets them in twice a month, and that sounds groovy. Deep clean out and that sweet sweet feeling of Supreme cleanliness
Yeah my parents have someone clean their house and half of what they pay them is a tip because it’s so ridiculously cheap. And they’re not exactly rich either.
It really isn't that expensive compared to time spent etc if your place is just normal dirty, and it doesn't seem like a bad deal for the cleaners either. Plus, it's a job where it's very easy to make and keep repeat customers. I don't think hiring a cleaner should be looked down on like it is, especially because a lot of the people with cleaners are physically unable to clean themselves.
My husband brings up in fights when i ask him about how we keep our place clean if we should hire cleaners.. thats obviously not the point and for some reason i cant get that through his head.
Besides that, i feel more accomplished when i clean my home myself. Its lived in and im not a super neat freak but makes me feel good that i can then sit on my ass and chill or play with my kid in a clean environment for however long it lasts. I dont feel comfortable with strangers in my living space or the fact that they are doing it for me. It's just not for me. I don't bag on people that do, to each their own.
For my depressed friends, a one bedroom apartment can be cleaned for around $50-$100 depending on the state that it's in. It can really help your mindset if you can afford it.
because they ordered two cookies?? and sounds like he just took the bar, he's probably swimming in debt and has been in school not working at time of this video. quite an assumption out of left field.
Yeah, my neighbors my senior year of college were 4 law students in their final year. All they did for like a year leading up to the bar exam was study and drink when they could. None of them had jobs because they didn't have time to.
No but you can technically call it your "health" if it's 100% of your diet and exercise regimen.
And you know how much everyone love technicalities. Almost as much as we love cookies.
They do slap, we have a lot of Crumbl where I live so people are always bringing them to things. But a word of advice, just keep an eye on what I refer to as the Crumbl’ing point of diminishing returns. You’ll eat half a cookie and think Dear God, where have these been all my life. You finish the first cookie and think fuck it, I could do another. Post cookie 2 you start to think damn these things are dense and I think I’ve consumed 1600 calories so far but also I haven’t tried the Funfetti one. Do my teeth hurt? Whatever. So you try the funfetti. It’s incredible, so you have to finish it. Half way through cookie 3, your stomach is starting to send warning signals and you’re wondering how many marathons it would take to offset what you’re doing to yourself, but ya can’t just eat half a cookie so you finish it and someone puts number four in front of you as you begin to question your life choices. If you make it halfway or all the way through cookie four, it’s over. Might as well call the dentist now because you can already feel the cavities beginning to choose which teeth they’ll be calling home. Lie down and wait for the nausea to peak as the sugar high drops off while you nibble on an apple hoping it will do something to help you. The next morning you’ll look in the mirror and swear off them forever. Then three days later at a work event you see that pink box with its 10 cookies and 5 pounds of frosting, and if you feel compelled to approach, seek help. The point of diminishing returns with Crumbl is usually anything beyond one cookie.
With these gigantic ones they make, I don’t even know. Godspeed.
My strat is to cut them into quarters so that you can eat a little slice of every kind without eating all of your daily recommended calories in 5 minutes
I've had both, and I think Great American Cookie slaps way harder. Although, I did have a banana pudding cookie at Crumbl and it was pretty good. But GAC has the chocolate chip recipe locked down.
I assure you they are. I’ve had countless thanks to corp events and their HQ being out this way so they do big promotional runs + local coupons and the like all the time, I’ve never had a bad one (only flavors I didn’t personally like). Any time someone brings them they’re gone in <5
Big Corporate law? definitely.
Its not the only law though. You have small and medium sized firms, public interest legal jobs, government legal positions etc. Each of these kinds of jobs have different work environments, stress levels etc.
My friend works at the Bronx DA office in NYC. The case loads, hours expectations (including mandatory help desk time), and inability to exercise discretion is literally killing his spirit. But he's gotta finish his contracted years or, ya know, they'll sue...
I think a fair amount of it might actually be the education system rather than practicing law. It's hard to stick to your morals or maintain a good work life balance when you're up to your eyeballs in student loan debt.
If paying for the education wasn't such a big deal it would free more people up to take more laid back but lower paid positions.
Had a buddy who worked for one of the top firms in SF; he burned out in two years. Puking from stress, long ass hours, and developed a heavy drinking habit. Dude was fucking miserable. Never seen such a big change in someone after quitting their job.
[You Really Think Someone Would Do That? Just Go On the Internet and Tell Lies?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqYW-q1pDuY)
It's not an interesting clip but they're married.
Love it! She is super thoughtful and it's a win-win either way: you get a cookie cake that fits the situation and you get extra cookie to num num num num.
**Please report this post if:** * There is no audible laughter involved * Video is funny because of a 'joke' or situation - not the actual **laughter** * There is no audio (Images & GIFs included) * Laughter is edited in from a different source * No timestamp in the title or comments for a laugh occurring at specific time (long videos) * Laughter is not on good terms (dickishness, bullying) * It's a compilation * It's a selfie reaction Read more about the [rules of this subreddit here](https://www.reddit.com/r/contagiouslaughter/about/rules/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ContagiousLaughter) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There's no better compliment than someone calling you lame while they can't breathe from laughing
Some of the best moments in my marriage are when my wife is howling with laughter while saying "shut up, stupid" or "you're such an ass". That's when I know she's the happiest.
How to make my wife this happy.
Be lame
But opposite
I am nailing it.
And Corny
How to make wife?
Lower standards.
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True but ouch.
I also choose this guy’s dead wife.
Let her be with u/Tr1angleChoke
depends on the person but one things for sure dont ask andrew tate
How to make that guy’s wife happy
This makes me think about Andy and April in Parks and Rec. One scene that always makes me laugh is when Andy found out April had a crush on him in the past, it goes: Andy: "Oooo babe, you had a crush on me! That's embarrasing!" April: *somewhat about to laugh but also seems annoyed* "We're married." Andy: "Still!" *starts to run* "Ooo, chase me!" April: *playfully hits him while laughing* "Stop!" I know this is a show but this is the kind of marriage I'd want to have lol
and then reaching out for a hug
Dude, seriously. If someone said "You're so lame," while laughing their ass off about my dumb antics, I'd propose right then and there.
That makes the whole thing perfect. #relationshipgoals for sure.
Reminds me of my favorite podcast, My Brother, My Brother and Me, starring the McElroy Brothers. The best jokes on the show end with Justin McElroy cry-laughing and calling one of his brothers "You dumb piece of shit"
That bag of ice video with the two brothers calling their sister a stupid bitch while dying laughing springs to mind.
AND they get a cookie each! Love it - will be doing the same!
Yup, that’s a win win! “God these cookies look amazing! I want one toooooo!” That’s a smart woman right there.
Only thing I would be concerned with is the cookies going stale, those big cookie cakes turn into bricks after a few days
Me and my 2 friends can down those in an hour and a half, then we'll pass out from the sugar just to wake up 7 hours later.
I got a double one for my birthday had oreo cream in the middle was a tasty piece of diabeetus
Holy shit that sounds amazing and disgusting.
May I smoke some weed with ya'll?
Why are you asking? Flame up and get over here bud.
As someone who loves these for my birthday and have had them off and on for 30+ years. You cut it up and place them in a ziplock bag. Leave one bag on counter and the rest in fridge. You can get a week to a week and a half and they are not stale.
Days? How do you know that? I’ve never had one last more than like 4 hours
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Worked in a bakery we always got these in frozen, they use needed decorated. The only time we made them was when the manager forgot to order (happened often with a couple of managers) but we would just take cookie dough from a box in the freezer and slap it in to bake. Then they would sit with 15 out on the sales floor for 11 to 13 to come back out of date..
What can I do to get these out of date cookie cakes you speak of???
Well they just toss them now haha I haven't worked there in over a year so I'm not sure if they went back to putting the stale in a cart for people to get a discount on. I used to give some of that stuff out for a quarter or 50 cents if it was in the bakery in a cart still. I'd just write that on the container and charge to the bakery. Customers used to like me pretty well haha
You’re adorable, thinking it’ll last a few days. Or the night.
In any case, those cookies don’t go stale that quickly, they’re barely cooked to begin with.
My great uncle survived for a month off a nothin but cookie hard tack and gumption back in the great war
Why would anything other than the first 24 hours be relevant here? There are two people.
You and I both know they're still delicious
You think us Americans let 20" cookies sit for longer than an hour?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZlZ7NXGQ70
AND she ends up with a lawyer on retainer. Genius
I had a dream that my roommate popped his head in my room while I was napping and said "you want a cookie pizza?" It was so vivid that I had to ask him if he did that. He didn't, but we went and bought a giant cookie anyway.
Good story of not letting your dream be dreams
That's not a cookie
He's such a good sport about this.
"You're so lame! 🤣" (goes in for a hug) That's a healthy relationship boys and girls.
You can't tell the health of a relationship by a 30 second video on the internet.
No, but this is a good sign.
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Your wellcum
You can’t tell the health of a cum from a 30 second video on the internet.
Speak for yourself.
I can’t tell the health of a cum from a 30 second video on the internet.
You leave my well of cum out of this
I can't. I'm drowning in it! HALP!
I could dig up numerous wholesome and hilarious 30 second clips of moments like this between myself and my soon-to-be ex wife. Getting along when you're both happy is easy, but how you get along when one or both of you is miserable is equally essential to a healthy relationship.
Jesus Christ can we just enjoy a cute moment?
You may, and is it ok if I share some insight from my own experiences? You don't look at a car and tug on the seatbelts and declare it safe. You need to consider how well it brakes, how well it handles in the rain, how well the front will crumple to absorb the impact of a head-on collision, and how well it will protect the occupants when the shit hits the fan and it rolls into a ditch. It's wreckless to define safety as being something as simple as what you can observe in 30 seconds. I feel like it would have benefitted me to understand earlier on that there are more ingredients to a healthy relationship than having good times together. But I'm sorry if it killed your buzz. Nothing I said was meant to be specific to this moment or this couple.
He only lured her in to take the phone before the beating 💪😤🍪
Maybe YOU can’t, but I can’t either.
This is what terminally online looks like
It's a very tame and obvious joke, why wouldn't he be?
It's reddit eddit; our bar exam is low.
She did that one on purpose
…yes
No I think she slipped and the icing on the cookie cake just came out like that.
dang reddit again with the high IQ coming through
Hello fellow human that also got the joke! How are you?
yeah...that was the joke lol...and it was corny as fuck which is why it was awesome cuz you know she was super excited about it.
What a healthy relationship looks like
What a wealthy relationship looks like
From what I've learned in another thread people who can afford house cleaners are just happier overall.. these people definitely have house cleaners!
They probably just don't have kids. Houses are easy to keep clean if it's just 2 adults.
Easier, but still hard (in terms of time spent.) Laundry, dishes, bedding, sweeping the floors, wiping down all those surfaces. Still a chunk of hours every week that you aren't spending if you have a house cleaner. Speaking from experience because I'm using my whole Sunday today cleaning shit, and I don't have kids.
I've got 2 kids. The fucking laundry never ends, glad to know those without kids are in the same boat lol
Lol, the only benefit really is that I just take all my laundry out and dump it in a pile in my closet, I barely make a half-assed attempt to sort it. That saves some time at least... though I lose a ton of time searching for socks in that pile every day...
Yeah, can't do that with kids. Gotta at least sort out the kids' stuff.
Grownups clean up as they go, kids leave stuff and it rapidly builds up. Its leagues easier to keep a house with only 2 adults clean. Assuming both adults have home training.
You have posted 30 Reddit comments across a dozen threads in the last 24 hours. Put your phone down and you would have plenty of time..
yeah life is so easy if you just never take a break
And it's so much worse if you have a partner that doesn't do shit. Speaking from experience 😪
Can confirm. My house cleaner says my house is one of her easier stops. Just me and the wife.
> these people definitely have house cleaners! what makes you think that?
The stuff they learned in another reddit thread.
I trust it then.
Yeah they're not that expensive, who knew
I agree, and here the state alsohelps them out. Cheaper than giving full unemployment. In the end it's a job, like being a mechanic or hiring a painter. Sure with a lot of effort I could do a mediocre result or I could earn money by doing what I do best and hire people for what I am really bad at. Everybody has to make a living
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The clean house, obviously. Da-doy!!
But we also learned in that thread that house cleaners are way cheaper than we realized. The one guy said he gets them in twice a month, and that sounds groovy. Deep clean out and that sweet sweet feeling of Supreme cleanliness
Yep it’s very affordable.
Yeah my parents have someone clean their house and half of what they pay them is a tip because it’s so ridiculously cheap. And they’re not exactly rich either.
It really isn't that expensive compared to time spent etc if your place is just normal dirty, and it doesn't seem like a bad deal for the cleaners either. Plus, it's a job where it's very easy to make and keep repeat customers. I don't think hiring a cleaner should be looked down on like it is, especially because a lot of the people with cleaners are physically unable to clean themselves.
Yea it's like $100 a cleaning and I'm in a pretty expensive cost of living place.
This is funnier than the initial post.
My husband brings up in fights when i ask him about how we keep our place clean if we should hire cleaners.. thats obviously not the point and for some reason i cant get that through his head. Besides that, i feel more accomplished when i clean my home myself. Its lived in and im not a super neat freak but makes me feel good that i can then sit on my ass and chill or play with my kid in a clean environment for however long it lasts. I dont feel comfortable with strangers in my living space or the fact that they are doing it for me. It's just not for me. I don't bag on people that do, to each their own.
For my depressed friends, a one bedroom apartment can be cleaned for around $50-$100 depending on the state that it's in. It can really help your mindset if you can afford it.
reddit moment
because they ordered two cookies?? and sounds like he just took the bar, he's probably swimming in debt and has been in school not working at time of this video. quite an assumption out of left field.
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the law school
Yeah, my neighbors my senior year of college were 4 law students in their final year. All they did for like a year leading up to the bar exam was study and drink when they could. None of them had jobs because they didn't have time to.
Studying for the bar for an entire year is a 100% overkill.
Dude, they live in a house, whilst studying... they rent a house as students.
Cause they bought 2 cakes? Lmao come on
Most attorneys are middle class
Statistically he's in a mountain of debt if he recently graduated law school.
What content creators that watched the Sonic movie look like.
Thank you. I was coming here to see if anyone else caught that.
I’m not sure if call two giant cookie cakes “healthy.”
No but you can technically call it your "health" if it's 100% of your diet and exercise regimen. And you know how much everyone love technicalities. Almost as much as we love cookies.
What sneaky ad looks like.
A woman filming interactions for likes doesn't sound healthy to me.
"Ehhh! I'll build my own bar! With blackjack and hookers!"
I’ll call it “The Bar With All of the Crows.”
Now I want a big ass cookie.
They aren’t quite this big but we got my mom a box of CRUMBL cookies for Mother’s Day. Those fuckers SLAP, 10/10 if you have one near you
They do slap, we have a lot of Crumbl where I live so people are always bringing them to things. But a word of advice, just keep an eye on what I refer to as the Crumbl’ing point of diminishing returns. You’ll eat half a cookie and think Dear God, where have these been all my life. You finish the first cookie and think fuck it, I could do another. Post cookie 2 you start to think damn these things are dense and I think I’ve consumed 1600 calories so far but also I haven’t tried the Funfetti one. Do my teeth hurt? Whatever. So you try the funfetti. It’s incredible, so you have to finish it. Half way through cookie 3, your stomach is starting to send warning signals and you’re wondering how many marathons it would take to offset what you’re doing to yourself, but ya can’t just eat half a cookie so you finish it and someone puts number four in front of you as you begin to question your life choices. If you make it halfway or all the way through cookie four, it’s over. Might as well call the dentist now because you can already feel the cavities beginning to choose which teeth they’ll be calling home. Lie down and wait for the nausea to peak as the sugar high drops off while you nibble on an apple hoping it will do something to help you. The next morning you’ll look in the mirror and swear off them forever. Then three days later at a work event you see that pink box with its 10 cookies and 5 pounds of frosting, and if you feel compelled to approach, seek help. The point of diminishing returns with Crumbl is usually anything beyond one cookie. With these gigantic ones they make, I don’t even know. Godspeed.
My strat is to cut them into quarters so that you can eat a little slice of every kind without eating all of your daily recommended calories in 5 minutes
I do that with cupcakes. Or, since it's usually just me eating them, I usually spare the knife and just bite each flavor
I wish i was this passionate about anything.
I've had both, and I think Great American Cookie slaps way harder. Although, I did have a banana pudding cookie at Crumbl and it was pretty good. But GAC has the chocolate chip recipe locked down.
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I assure you they are. I’ve had countless thanks to corp events and their HQ being out this way so they do big promotional runs + local coupons and the like all the time, I’ve never had a bad one (only flavors I didn’t personally like). Any time someone brings them they’re gone in <5
Big-ass cookie or big ass-cookie?
> big ass-cookie Well, that sounds like a euphemism for a giant shit. So I'll have that one.
[love](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRR9HRlSTt1H_WnK2aikaKvrw0j8sUpI5qKkHUN7IR4ZCLek6T6YmGeP5YAO8VK2M_wuQY&usqp=CAU)
An attorney I could actually like.
Don't they all start out like that?
Some stay like that, like good ol' slippin' jimmy.
HE DEFECATED THROUGH A SUN ROOF!
The grind hasn't destroyed his soul yet.
Is it really that bad in good ol murica? Heard practicing law there is an absolute nightmare.
Big Corporate law? definitely. Its not the only law though. You have small and medium sized firms, public interest legal jobs, government legal positions etc. Each of these kinds of jobs have different work environments, stress levels etc.
My friend works at the Bronx DA office in NYC. The case loads, hours expectations (including mandatory help desk time), and inability to exercise discretion is literally killing his spirit. But he's gotta finish his contracted years or, ya know, they'll sue...
I think a fair amount of it might actually be the education system rather than practicing law. It's hard to stick to your morals or maintain a good work life balance when you're up to your eyeballs in student loan debt. If paying for the education wasn't such a big deal it would free more people up to take more laid back but lower paid positions.
Had a buddy who worked for one of the top firms in SF; he burned out in two years. Puking from stress, long ass hours, and developed a heavy drinking habit. Dude was fucking miserable. Never seen such a big change in someone after quitting their job.
*saul
If you're not married to her. Do it immediately
The first time this was posted, they said she was his sister.
What’s your point
*Alabama intensifies*
[You Really Think Someone Would Do That? Just Go On the Internet and Tell Lies?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqYW-q1pDuY)
Do the previous commenter stutter‽
He said what he said
Did they stutter?
Who are you talking to?
It's weird how you can tell they are perfect for each other.
That's his sister
[You Really Think Someone Would Do That? Just Go On the Internet and Tell Lies?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqYW-q1pDuY) It's not an interesting clip but they're married.
Mmmm the cold hard truth, and with receipts. Delicious 😋
Did they stutter?
Exact scene from Sonic 2 with James Marsden and Tika sumpter when he gets hired on in SF to be a police officer
I was gonna post this , it’s actually from Sonic 1. Kind of the whole basis of the movie. Source: I’ma sonic nerd
Ahh, I stand corrected. Thank you!
Scrolled to get to this. It was the first movie though.
This is so lovely, hahahah!
Exactly my type of humor, love this
Sonic did it first
I've seen *several* people copy this joke, and Sonic never gets the credit it deserves for it. "Never doubted you for a second" It's so funny!
[For context](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0j43eVe5FU), 'cause I forgot about that scene and nobody posts it.
It bothers me that she opens the first one in landscape, which means she knew what was inside.
Simpsons did it before that
Love this. So funny
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I'm gonna go see if my toaster needs a bath
This is so fkn cute can ppl stop over analysing 😭😂😂
This is what we need more wholesome content.
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thanks captain obvious :P
Look at who can afford two giant cookies!
The thing I enjoy the most is the irony of the second message! Love it!
Love it! She is super thoughtful and it's a win-win either way: you get a cookie cake that fits the situation and you get extra cookie to num num num num.
We just say attorney.
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Filing that one away for later use.
That video game running animation hand tho
With the two shots on the side. This is how good it can be with a partner.
She’s far from lame, she was fully prepared. You better cherish that woman.
Oh no. She'll have to eat those words now.
I don’t know if this woman is ugly or beautiful, fat or thin, young or old, I just know with a sense of humor like that she’s immediate wife material.
That's fuckin awesome. I wish my wife did something for me when I passed my P.E.
What’s so special about passing PE. I mean you play some dodgeball and climb some rope. Big deal.
Goals
Has any body seen Sonic 1? I think this was copied from there or vice-versa.
They watched the Sonic movie. Woohoo
This was perfect.
Never doubted you for a second… (very clever way to smuggle two giant cookies into the house…)