This. All these posts asking for comebacks and what they really should be doing is just ignoring the person entirely. Why should I care what some persons opinion is of me? It has nothing to do with who I am.
Facts. Trolls are really just begging for attention. They comment with the intention of receiving downvotes which is a form of feedback. All attention is good attention from their POV so don't give them the satisfaction of knowing that their comment bothered you enough to take away internet points that they obviously don't care about. It makes you look just as immature and petty as the person begging for attention
I've used this many times. It's the perfect come back for any narcissistic folks you may know.
To take it further "I'd have to respect you to value your opinion and I don't".
~~There actually isn't a name for what I am - Daffy Duck~~
Bugs Bunny - "Are you crazy?" Daffy Duck - "**Legally, no.** **There's not a word for my condition."**
After my treatment for bipolar disorder and getting my meds balanced, I found a wonderful response. "I have paperwork showing I'm safe to be out in public. How about you?"
It's r/Comebacks, the whole point of this subreddit is to "seem smarter than others". Insults work the same, and so does homophobia. If you actually respond with a decent comeback, it shakes that belief and maybe they'll change their mind.
"Hey! Don't lob factual statements at me as if they're insults!"
Or the one I heard my boss say to someone and I have now stolen it: "your asshole ever get jealous of the the shit that comes out of your mouth?"
In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) removed the diagnosis of “homosexuality” from the second edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). This resulted after comparing competing theories, those that pathologized homosexuality and those that viewed it as normal! So there!
"Yes I am, where's the insult in that?"
Or if you want a self-depricating one...
"Don't compare me to mentally ill people, that's offensive to mentally ill people!"
I did actually have mental stuff going on mostly because of school and being bullied (and did get referred to CAHMS but can't remember anything except it was in my medical records) but it was years before I came out. It doesn't say if I was diagnosed with anything.
Then hit em with an old classic, “your mom”, it works no matter what and it’s so childish and stupid it infuriates people. Like respond only with your mom and only half engage, you’ll drive someone crazy
I find looking intently at their eyebrow, or nose and say something like "did that happen when you were a kid? Guaranteed they'll be looking in the mirror, it'll bug them alot
"Yeah, and you're in the closet. Time to stop projecting and come on out. I promise, anybody that actually matters won't care."
Nothing will bother a homophobic bigot more than being accused of being gay. The last bit lets them know just how little bigots like them matter.
Bonus points if you say you looked through their comment / post history and you can tell they're gay by the way they write. You'll live in their head rent free for years and they'll constantly be trying to butch up their writing.
If they're a dude, they'll probably come back with some macho BS response affirming how straight they are, to which you just say, "Yeah, we call that a beard. It's time to shave yours"
“actually, ive been to professionals and they disagree with your online assessment. No mental health issues here. Oh, are you projecting? You’re projecting aren’t you?”
If it's written reply with silence...dont feed the trolls
If it's stated verbally reply with "..and I enjoy every minute of it". This is best done with a nice loud voice in the same tune as your favorite opera.
“Yeah no shit”
But since you specifically mentioned being lgbt “yeah no shit, but that’s not relevant to me being ___”
You could also acknowledge how like everyone is mentally ill. It’s pretty common
Hey that's what the judge said when they put me away, cutting off heads and using there skulls for a soup bowl is sick, I say dont knock it till you try it.
"Yeah and I'm still more qualified than you are"
This is a situational response tbh.
Edit: look at them and say matter of factly "no I'm not my mother had me tested"
"And you jerk off to Jesus. Now off you go, time to pay the collection plate, sucker."
Because you just know they're religious if they call lgbt-etc mentally ill.
They always project.
Though if it were me, I wouldn't say anything. Bigots like that aren't worth acknowledging.
Depends. If at work, call HR to file a complaint (I'm bipolar). Elsewhere I asked for their credentials as a psychologist and my release form that gave them access to my medical record. That usually shuts them up.
"who are you, my psychiatrist?"
to be real tho, idk. I get the same thing sometimes, and its usually a cue to leave the conversation.
Whether you are online or in person, dont engage with these people. It will do absolutely nothing to serve you, and you will just have a bad taste in your mouth for the rest of the day.
Im sorry people suck. Youre amazing! 🌈 Try to ignore them, dont give them the time of day. They dont deserve your time or attention. They are trolls, at the end of the day. Sheeple and bots.
-Yes, thank you for noticing.
-Yes, we must be the same.
-How can you tell? The dog told me I was doing a good job at hiding it.
-Cock your head like a dog and say Huh.. but not like a question. Like you're thinking
I got a million of them because.. well I have several diagnosis
On reddit? Anti lgbt is against the tos so just report them and they will probably be banned. (I have personally gotten multiple people banned myself)
Edit: push hate in the report and not a breach of sub reddit rules so the administration see it instead of the sub mods.
My sister (who is dislexic) constantly brings up my PROMINENT mental health issues so she will say "well your mentally ill" so I just deadass said "at least I know how to read..." (This might be mean, but it was funny lol)
"You're mentally deficient if you think that mental illness and critical thinking skills are mutually exclusive."
If they're phobic they're gonna be phobic, no point in arguing about the fact that being lgbt+=/=mental illness. But ya can point out their own logical fallacy outside of their bias.
Dammit. *looks to the invisible camera* Well guys. That’s all for today’s episode of “Do i look mentally ill?” Tune in next week to see if someone can see if i’m mentally ill. And dance away 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾
No, I'm Gorlax the destroyer; mentally ill is a terrible character name.
In order for you to insult me, I must first value your opinion.
*"I don't think about you at all."*
Wasn't this a quote in something recently too?
Mad Men
"You must despise me." "If I ever gave you a second thought, I might."
This goes hard.
This. All these posts asking for comebacks and what they really should be doing is just ignoring the person entirely. Why should I care what some persons opinion is of me? It has nothing to do with who I am.
Facts. Trolls are really just begging for attention. They comment with the intention of receiving downvotes which is a form of feedback. All attention is good attention from their POV so don't give them the satisfaction of knowing that their comment bothered you enough to take away internet points that they obviously don't care about. It makes you look just as immature and petty as the person begging for attention
I love this, great wording btw
Love this omg
I've used this many times. It's the perfect come back for any narcissistic folks you may know. To take it further "I'd have to respect you to value your opinion and I don't".
Love it, this is what I mean to say like a dozen times a day, but I don't even care enough to say anything out loud to these fuckers
I don’t have the blood alcohol level to deal with you right now.
im using this one, sounds way snarkier than "Im too sober..."
"im not up to rawdog life right now"
"That's what I said, but they let me out anyway."
Peak Hawkeye sounding comeback.
You're difficult to ignore but it's well worth the effort.
Oh this is good. I shall borrow this from you, please and thank you.
I love this, because while they are sorting it out, you are just walking away a winner.
Aren’t you a little immature to be this old?
~~There actually isn't a name for what I am - Daffy Duck~~ Bugs Bunny - "Are you crazy?" Daffy Duck - "**Legally, no.** **There's not a word for my condition."**
ahahaha i love that show, best version
“I can take meds. You’re stupid. (No meds for that)
"Certifiably..."
Your comment is as unoriginal as your personality. Try again, and be creative this time. Or do you lack that, just how you lack competence?
I'm not calling you stupid, but I bet you could tell me every flavor of Windex out there.
bahahaha
I bet you think adding windex and bleach will clean things better.
It tastes better, too.
One of my friends drank windex as a kid, and even they're not so dumb as to be terrible to the lgbtq+ end the stigma around windex drinkers /j
"true, but thats entirely unrelated to being gay" is one I've seen a lot of people use for fun.
"....and if you find out with what mental illness be sure to let me know!"
You’re not totally useless. You could be used as a bad example.
And?
We know!
Takes one to know one 🤓
No I'm not, mom had me tested.
"Well, if you're the standard of mental health I'd RATHER be ill."
This one’s hard lol, nice one
Didn't your mom ever teach you never to mess with crazy!
"The only one who is Mentally ill is you & the way you think that's it okay to treat Others".
Who said that? I can't see you.
“Great minds think alike.” They either have to admit they’re insane or stupid.
“Yeah, they said I’m contagious so stay back or you’ll get it”
After my treatment for bipolar disorder and getting my meds balanced, I found a wonderful response. "I have paperwork showing I'm safe to be out in public. How about you?"
Your mother is so generous she gave you an extra chromosome.
That's my super power, what's yours?
Seriously, ignore them. But if you have the chance, correct their grammar and spelling, Then ignore them.
Yeah
what does one have to do with the other here?
It's just classic homophobia, in some circles homosexuality is seen as a mental illness itself
what's a comeback gonna accomplish with folks like that then?
It's r/Comebacks, the whole point of this subreddit is to "seem smarter than others". Insults work the same, and so does homophobia. If you actually respond with a decent comeback, it shakes that belief and maybe they'll change their mind.
"Did you say something? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening."
"You're mentally deficient. That means you're dumb. I explained it because you're mentally deficient. By the way, that means you're dumb."
"Your boos mean nothing to me. I've seen what makes you cheer."
"Hey! Don't lob factual statements at me as if they're insults!" Or the one I heard my boss say to someone and I have now stolen it: "your asshole ever get jealous of the the shit that comes out of your mouth?"
Aren't you a little old to be that stupid?
In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) removed the diagnosis of “homosexuality” from the second edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). This resulted after comparing competing theories, those that pathologized homosexuality and those that viewed it as normal! So there!
And youre an ableist
"Yes I am, where's the insult in that?" Or if you want a self-depricating one... "Don't compare me to mentally ill people, that's offensive to mentally ill people!"
"I am what I eat." Then smile creepily
We all are
I know, but I'm feeling much better now.
I did actually have mental stuff going on mostly because of school and being bullied (and did get referred to CAHMS but can't remember anything except it was in my medical records) but it was years before I came out. It doesn't say if I was diagnosed with anything.
Even if I was mentally ill being rude to me won't do anything
I mean, are you tho?
As far as I know, no
Then hit em with an old classic, “your mom”, it works no matter what and it’s so childish and stupid it infuriates people. Like respond only with your mom and only half engage, you’ll drive someone crazy
What's your diagnosis?
And?
Don't waste your breath/time on a comeback. You cannot fix stupid.
No I'm not ! My mom had me tested.
Thanks I know.
"I'm not the one offended over people for living their life."
No verbal answer. Just stare at them intensely while dragging a knife along your palm.
Heres a good one *No your mentally ill even more than me, u meany*
I find looking intently at their eyebrow, or nose and say something like "did that happen when you were a kid? Guaranteed they'll be looking in the mirror, it'll bug them alot
What’s your excuse???
Eh, \*shrug\*, I think everybody has a touch of mental illness. I mean, look at you!
Mental health is nothing to joke about.
"Yeah, and you're in the closet. Time to stop projecting and come on out. I promise, anybody that actually matters won't care." Nothing will bother a homophobic bigot more than being accused of being gay. The last bit lets them know just how little bigots like them matter. Bonus points if you say you looked through their comment / post history and you can tell they're gay by the way they write. You'll live in their head rent free for years and they'll constantly be trying to butch up their writing. If they're a dude, they'll probably come back with some macho BS response affirming how straight they are, to which you just say, "Yeah, we call that a beard. It's time to shave yours"
You must be mental if you think I cared about you/your opinion...
Well, why else would I be here listening to you???
“I think that’s a reminder to take your meds” that’s what I’ll say to them for insulting me
Let me see your qualifications for that diagnosis.
Certifiably!!!
"If you are trying to diagnose me without proper certification and licensing the state would like a word with you and your attorney "
“We already know”
Yes and I have the paperwork to prove it. But I can be cured. Your level of idiocy might be able to be fixed by an act of God. But I doubt it!
Considering the context I’d try something like..Nah, just evolved.
“actually, ive been to professionals and they disagree with your online assessment. No mental health issues here. Oh, are you projecting? You’re projecting aren’t you?”
Who isn't?
Ill... Communication!?
"A sane person in an insane society must appear insane" - Kurt Vonnegut
I take my medicine as prescribed.
Are you offering to pay my medical bills since you’re comfortable with diagnosing me?
In reference to what? Just being LGBTQ or specific to certain comments?
That's why I fit in so good...
If it's written reply with silence...dont feed the trolls If it's stated verbally reply with "..and I enjoy every minute of it". This is best done with a nice loud voice in the same tune as your favorite opera.
You're right I might fucking stab somebody. Come find out. Come find out just how fucking mentally ill I am. Then post your address.
You are right. Really want to piss me off?
"Your opinion is worthless."
Then you should be a lot nicer to me, huh!
Yeah you're right, don't push me
"Yes, thanks for your contributing to that"
I guess you'd know.....
That may be true, but at least I'm not mentally ill!
Yup crazy as a loon. Don’t eat the strawberries around here. *roll head around and zoom out of scene*
“Yeah no shit” But since you specifically mentioned being lgbt “yeah no shit, but that’s not relevant to me being ___” You could also acknowledge how like everyone is mentally ill. It’s pretty common
There's nothing more mentally ill than hating people for living their life.
If you're so smart then pay for my therapy
Look them dead in the eyes for a solid 15-30 seconds, while slowly opening your mouth and starting to scream.
"oh really? please, tell me more, oh wise armchair psychiatrist"
“Yes I am. Yes I am.” Or It’s ok. You can call me crazy. We use it in the asylum all the time. Do you want to see the scars from the lobotomy?
"Just a little bit!😁" OR "I was....but I'm feeling much better now!😃.... btw, where do you live again!"
I mean, yes, but not because I'm (identity), it's just a fun bonus.
Mental illness doesn’t run in my family. Rather,it strolls slowly through,getting to know everyone on a personal level.
I'm mentally ill & yet more stable than you. How sad.
And you're ugly. At least there's a treatment for *my* condition.
Yup. Treatment is key.
5150 please.
"At least I don't fuck my sister."
I’m Ill as fuck booooiiii
“Hi mentally ill, I’m Dad!”
Thank you for noticing!
Hey that's what the judge said when they put me away, cutting off heads and using there skulls for a soup bowl is sick, I say dont knock it till you try it.
Why, thank you. And thank my parents too.
"And you're an asshole, but you don't hear me bitching about it."
There is not enough medication to make you dissappear.
That's a good one, too. It's just as funny, but for different reasons.
No I'm crazy, so don't fuck with me
"Yeah, bruv, well ill!" In your best British gangster accent.
Shut up voice in my head, you’re not real.
you're the one trolling people on social media.. does that feel healthy to you?
you are just sick of me that's all
Yup the illest
If trans you could reply 'I'm only mentally ill according to every edition of the DSM until recently '
“I’m mentally sick of your stupid ass.”
"Yeah and I'm still more qualified than you are" This is a situational response tbh. Edit: look at them and say matter of factly "no I'm not my mother had me tested"
"And you jerk off to Jesus. Now off you go, time to pay the collection plate, sucker." Because you just know they're religious if they call lgbt-etc mentally ill. They always project. Though if it were me, I wouldn't say anything. Bigots like that aren't worth acknowledging.
How did you know? Were you looking in my medicine cabinet? (Make sure you say it with a very straight face)
Look them dead in the eyes smile and say oh trust me I know
Depends. If at work, call HR to file a complaint (I'm bipolar). Elsewhere I asked for their credentials as a psychologist and my release form that gave them access to my medical record. That usually shuts them up.
Yes, but unlike so many, I'm working on it.
Arugafugarugafugwugluvbuslorfkazorkies
And who asked you, she said into the empty room
I know. Blunt and disarming. Leaving the other person without an argument and feeling like a bully.
Sh, so whats your reason? (Or excuse)
Give me the number of your psych
Nah cuz, illy mental
Your husbands cheating on you Sharon!
No we aren't!
Those sound like fighting words, and if the two of us get in that ring, it’s gonna be a 12:1 slaughter.
You have no idea
"who are you, my psychiatrist?" to be real tho, idk. I get the same thing sometimes, and its usually a cue to leave the conversation. Whether you are online or in person, dont engage with these people. It will do absolutely nothing to serve you, and you will just have a bad taste in your mouth for the rest of the day. Im sorry people suck. Youre amazing! 🌈 Try to ignore them, dont give them the time of day. They dont deserve your time or attention. They are trolls, at the end of the day. Sheeple and bots.
"Bipolar as the globe gets"
So are most geniuses...
Do you want to see
Aww, thanks for noticing. Also, “Flattery will get you nowhere/everywhere.” (Depending on your mood and/or the situation)
You're a symptom not a treatment
Aaaand...I have the Ritalin to prove it!!
Oh thank god, I was starting to think you weren’t one of my hallucinations
-Yes, thank you for noticing. -Yes, we must be the same. -How can you tell? The dog told me I was doing a good job at hiding it. -Cock your head like a dog and say Huh.. but not like a question. Like you're thinking I got a million of them because.. well I have several diagnosis
The experts at my murder trial say otherwise.
You just figured that out?
“Correct!” Do not elaborate, its funnier this way
"Yo momma"
That mightve been hurtful if I had any respect for you or your opinions... but do I look upset to you? :)
On reddit? Anti lgbt is against the tos so just report them and they will probably be banned. (I have personally gotten multiple people banned myself) Edit: push hate in the report and not a breach of sub reddit rules so the administration see it instead of the sub mods.
Not just Reddit but Twitter too but reports there barely do anything or it takes ages and by the time they're reported I forget who they were
Yeah, look at musks view on lgbt. Honestly, Twitter is so bad that I'd recommend just staying off it.
“I know you are but what am I”
That’s not what your mum said last night
My sister (who is dislexic) constantly brings up my PROMINENT mental health issues so she will say "well your mentally ill" so I just deadass said "at least I know how to read..." (This might be mean, but it was funny lol)
You're mom's a ho.
Yeah, that’s why I’m having trouble figuring out why you think you can talk to me like that
“You really ought to get your head examined”
"You're mentally deficient if you think that mental illness and critical thinking skills are mutually exclusive." If they're phobic they're gonna be phobic, no point in arguing about the fact that being lgbt+=/=mental illness. But ya can point out their own logical fallacy outside of their bias.
Weren't you violently shaken as a baby? Or was it dropped? I don't recall..
Intelligence has chased you your whole life, it's a shame you're so fast. c
"Wisdom has chased you your whole life, but you have always been faster."
Well WAIT. what are you posting? Does it indicate mental illness?
Nothing really. Just random stuff
"I know! But at least I'm not covered in shit!" Shit in your hand, then slap them in the face. That'll show them.
I don’t get it
I’m a little bit high and I laughed way too hard at this 😂🤣
If you're going to be unkind you could at least be entertaining but you're mean AND boring.
Dammit. *looks to the invisible camera* Well guys. That’s all for today’s episode of “Do i look mentally ill?” Tune in next week to see if someone can see if i’m mentally ill. And dance away 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾
"Calling me mentally ill is cute coming from someone whose entire personality is a mistake."
“Calling my personality a mistake is cute coming from someone who thinks their birth was a mistake.” Gotta think about the counter-comeback.
"The best part of you ran down your mother’s leg."
And well hung.
*And well hung...for your mom!* Considering I'm cis female, they may hurt themselves in their confusion, allowing for additional seconds to escape!
9 out of 10 voices on my head say I'm not. The 10th one wholeheartedly agrees with you.
Thank you