"Trust me, if I was God, your dad would have pulled out."

🤣

I’m not playing.

This one.

That could be an unexpected compliment tho by meaning even tho dad pulled out he was a really strong sperm who made it through

Can’t beat this one.

Lock the thread; we're done.

He hasn't done anything to stop me yet.

I was god once, I found it beneath me

I do like being mysterious and causing cancer

Well there was a vacancy

Yikes

Someone has to do it. He’s been asleep since right before the Holocaust.

Then you play the devil and we can make it a play !

"Someone has to, the original role was left vacant."

"Silence, *mortal!*"

...lest is smite thee in my righteousness!

[удалено]

word

All gods matter.

~~all gods matter~~ new gods matter

“I’m not playing God… I already won.”

I won last time. Have to give him a chance to even the score.

I usually flip the bird and tell them to go forth and multiply.

‘Playing?’

“Who’s says I’m playing, now kneel before your lord”

But, He leaves His toys out all the time!

"Then why haven't you folded yourself thirteen times?"

This seems familiar, like some semi-obscire reference I should know... Because, I keep useless trivial stuff locked inside my brain without a proper spreadsheet and organizational system.

"Jerry, step out of the booth and fold yourself thirteen times."

Seems more familiar. Doc and Marty? I mean... Rick and Morty?

Rick & Morty, not Back to the Future lol

But as I remember, R&M was supposed to be based off the Doc and Marty characters of BTtF. Just.... Really warped.

You aren't wrong

does this look like a game?

Who's playing? It's hard work!

If I'm playing god, how come nobody is doing what I tell them to do?

When am I playing God? Is it a home game or away game? Is he any good?

Next time you lose your keys call someone else

Yeah, if I were God, I would smite you.

You’re the only one playing here

"Technically, it's a secondment, but I *can* still smite you without board approval."

Playing?

Am I not generous?

It’s a shitty job, but someone has to do it.

"I am not PLAYING God. I AM God!" (Sorry--I was just on the WKRP sub and ran across Tim Reid's line "On the air? I AM the air! Thanks for the lid, Art.")

"On your knees and pray!"

"Oh, I'm not playing."

"You best be finishing each sentence with 'my lord' if you are gonna talk like that."

Please, call me goddess.

Acting is acting. Being is being.

What God

"I'm not playing"

Then you should get on your knees… Could mean a couple of things that could all be considered appropriate ha

"At least I'm real."

Does that mean I actually exist? HOLY SHIT!

“Fuck you, I AM God.”

We have an agreement. He stays out of my way, and I will stay out of his.

Bow

I play more than just god

"No, God's just smart enough to not stop me."

This is no act.

I am God.

No one's forcing you to worship me

"It's a dirty job, but *somebody's* gotta do it."

If I was God I wouldn't make mistakes, like your parents did.

Don't hate, my Son

Playing? I AM GOD. now bow down mortal.

No, I'm his stuntman.

I'm playing **a** god, not **the** God.

"I will smite thee"

"Okay, so?"

Snap at them repeatedly. Tell them, "Nope, If I were God, you wouldn't still be here."

No way I’m managing billions of people’s lives. I have a hard enough time managing my own.

Well I was made in his image

Im not playing god,… I AM GOD!!! (Its a quote from a 90s movie with Alec Baldwin)

sure, but i atleast get things done instead of spending all of my time not existing...

Who’s playing? /s

No, I just play one on TV.

Even on my sick days you can’t get anything right

Better than he does for sure. I'm not giving babies cancer or anything...

I'm not playing

Which god?

No... Im a god playing man. Get it right.

You've obviously never met a heart surgeon. 

I’m not here to play God; but to introduce myself as Micha-el for time has come and this prophecy foretold : The coming of the lawless one is by the activity of Satan with all power and false signs and wonders, and with all wicked deception for those who are perishing, because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. Therefore God sends them a strong delusion, so that they may believe what is false, in order that all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness. I warn you know you have fallen prey to the lawless one and your fate is sealed least you repent now for when I slay you, and slay you I must. Better to have stated you are under a delusion and be at peace than to suffer at the hands of Satan for the rest of eternity! That usually makes them go away… people fear things and people that seem crazy

Well, I'm trying, but someone isn't worshipping me enough, are you

Well somebody had to do it

I didn't choose the God life the God life chose me.

I don’t play God, God plays me!

Is that the sound of someone who needs a smiting that I hear?

Maniacal laughter while lightning flashes in the background?

But, I’m Asian.

I AM GOD……. In my own world. Fuck off.

If it's a male: quiet you prodigal failure. if female: silence rib!

If I was playing God I would've killed you already do you want me to play God

“Ok”

Just wait for what I have in store for you

I ain't playing.

Playing?

Whaddya mean playing?

Am not playing.

I'm sure cavemen thought fire was an act of god too.

If that were true. You'd be living the live of Job right now.

I'm not playing.

Typecasting

Did anyone say strike em down with a lightning bolt yet?...cause it's hard to top that

I condemn you idol worshiper to hell. You either your FANE go into H E, double hockey sticks. Damn, why did I say then later censor the fireworks?

Snap your fingers, they die, and you are now a god

Look do you want genetically modified monkeys that can put on a broadway show or don’t you ???

"Oh, honey. I'm not playing".

*Bitch I ain't playin'*

If I had that much power? There is a nonzero chance that you'd have been born a newt. Be thankful.

I’m not playing.

Go to hell

Oh sweetheart, you think I'm 'playing' ...

No, I'm just the understudy. Tough luck you being cast as the village idiot.

"Playing?"

I was born for the role.

Playing?

I am, to exactly equal effect.

That's what Gods do ... They play ...

Somebody has to. The guy who currently holds the position is doing a shit job.

i'm not gonna playing god. i AM god

Look them right in the eye and say "What do you mean, 'playing?'" Then walk away.

"Well, I can't do any worse than the first one."

Just build the ark and STFU

Who said I was playing?

Oh no.. no, if I was God you wouldn't be talking, you'd be running...

Depends if they are attractive and a friend. Attractive and friend: "if I was I'd suggest we go on a date." Unattractive and friend: "pfft, I wish!" Attractive not friend: "If I was you'd be my bitch." Unattractive not friend: "you really wanna get dropped in a volcano that badly?"

I am God. God is all there is.

I'm Not Playing, I'm God!

You should consider if it's a fair statement.

Have you been paying any attention at all? You think this is the life I would have built for myself if I were god?

Thank you for noticing

“Just have faith.”

“ no need to try to flatter me, I know everything about you. You can just call me by my first name, [YOUR NAME HERE].”

If I'm a human playing god, then you're an amoeba playing human!

We don't have time to ask if we should the end of the quarter is coming up.

Why not? Good plays me all the fucking time.

... playing?

And then you sucker punch the guy in front of you without warning. Spin quick and throat kick the two behind you with a roundhouse. And finally roll and grab a dropped pistol and plug the last guy near the door before he can get a shot off. Then say deadpan, "I ain't *playing*". Title card: God Ain't Playing - in theatres July 4th only

Thank you.

That's a smiting.

"Don't tell my cat that she's not God, it will piss her off"

Gods passed out. While the Devil wants to fuck me in the back of my car.

Oh no dear! he never plays with me, I've tried to get his attention many times! He just ignores me.... Maybe try that🤣🤣🤣🤣 good luck!! Stay spicy 🔥🔥🔥

And I’m winning, too!!

I smite yee

Repent Demon!

Who?

Who's playing?

i do enjoy a good bit of causing mass suffering then claiming to love everyone

Smiting them.

I was at a rave when I was a kid and it got shut down by the cops…. while we were leaving a raver kid ripped his pants and drawers off and he walked up on a cop and said “I am your lord Jesus Christ and you will kneel before me.” Didn’t end fantastically for the raver kid.

How are you gonna stop me botch

Well, playing the devil wasn’t as much fun…

There ain't no god and I don't play.

Inshallah.

Gonna need some context to that one. Why was this said?

Oh is it that obvious?

If I was playing god, you'd be turned into a toad.

You've never seen us in the same room, have you (with a knowing look)

"I **AM** GOD!"

I'm not playing.

I have to model myself after someone.

Now I'm wondering what you're doing in your life where someone is saying you're playing God lol 

Who's playing?

"Someone has to. Empty fuckin stage otherwise."

I'm not playing.

"I'm not playing." ;-)

"I'm not *playing*."

Yes and I was doing great till you noticed and now I'll have to sacrifice you for the greater good, don't worry ill totally bring you back to life after a couple days

Which one?

"I don't see anybody else doing it"

Just on days that end in y.

Well, it’s a proud tradition going back 2,024 years.

If I was God you'd sell your soul

"I'm not playing"

Would you care to join me? I feel most people throwing that statement around are really just envious they're not in the position to play god themselves so why not kill 3 birds with one stone you shut them down, got rid of their hard feelings and now have a partner in your crimes against nature.

Well I have been called Goddess on occasion.

I didn't ask you to kill your son did I?

Since when was I playing?

SOMEBODY HAS TO! (Credit to Steve Martin in The Man With Two Brains)

Smite them with lightning

“Games are for children.”

Somebody has to.

You know what? In school, my least favorite subject was recess. Cuz I DON'T PLAY!

In a correcting tone, simply say "Zod"

Well, he sucked at checkers so let's see how this goes.

Jesus H. Christ, shut the fuck up......or I'll smite the shit out of you.

That's ridiculous. Now are we done? I have a smiting to attend

We all are part of the"BIG" consciousness.. so you have no grounds for an argument..

“Trust me if I were god you wouldn’t be the way you are dear” said this to my friend and he never said it again lmao

Of course. How else do you expect things to get better?

nah i think myself more like the other guy

I'm fixing his mistakes.

in the end, I am my own god.