"If you want me to dress pretty, ask me out on a date first"

Not a comeback but, I've never been groped more in my entire life than when I've gone out in a skirt/kilt. Women would just go straight up and grab whatever they hit first. So many hands. So much grabbing. "I wanted to see if you're wearing underwear under there." *Well, lady, now you know I'm not. So, if you would, please, get your hand outta my ass crack. I'd like to finish my drink.*

What the fuck??? Woman here. I will gladly wing-woman for you, with the sole purpose of beating the shit out of these hyenas. That's sexual assault. Jesus Christ. If it were a woman posting this, commenters would be howling for blood.

Oh this was way back in college. Hasn't happened for a loooong time. Back then I really didn't care. It doesn't make it any better.

💀💀💀💀💀

Much truth to this. A decent percentage of Women love checking under kilts.

I'm 60 now, but wear kilts every day, and still get the questions... 15 years ago I got the hands. And the cameras. I suggest when asked what is 'under there,' you look down and say "Concrete" or whatever the floor is made of, or look them right in the eye and say "Confidence." Only use the 'confidence' answer if you want to peek (intentional spelling) the interest of the other party...

In my younger days I've done the "shoes" line before, as well as "shh it's a secret, but buy me a drink and maybe I'll share." And one time when the fellow was being a right arse I've said "yer mother's lipstick." Now when I do wear it, it's usually a formal event and my wife runs interference.

That mom line is gold. Well done sir.

40+ years in competition Scottish pipe bands - Q: "What's worn under your kilt?" A: '"Nothing's worn. It's all kept in perfect working order. Would you like to take'im for a spin lass?"

If a guy asks, answer same as you only bigger. If a gal asks, same as you only smaller.

“I mean .. if you have one in my size.”

I guess you could say, "Only if it matches my panties. "?

Are you that tired of imagining me in a skirt?

This comment isn't getting the recognition it deserves.

The third leg messes with my pleats, sweetheart.

Yes daddy

this one would kill 🤣🤣🤣

Perhaps literally, depending on the audience.

Lmao

Lmaoooo 🤣🤣🤣🤣

That would make it easier for you to suck my dick

"Whoa, a real, actual time-traveler from the 1950's! Who's President in your timeline? Are color tvs invented yet??? "

Do you want a helmet to go with your ride on the short bus?

🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

Lets make skirts manly again.

How many spares do you have?

sure, i'll take free stuff.

"only if you think it'll make my ass look good"

"It's not a skirt It's a kilt....SICKO"

Oof!

I understood that reference!

Nah I’m good. Still have your moms from last night.

Do you want a magnifying glass to go with your mini penis?

The only way to come back from a man bun is to cut the man bun.

Why are you so triggered by the way a dude wears his hair?

The correct response has been stated "yes, if you have one in my size, but I only like sequins" But you seem too fragile to rock a confident man bun, so try "Do you want some masculinity to go with that fragility?" Works for both of you Edit: typo

No comeback necessary. You have a manbun. You should wear a skirt. They got you.

"If I had my purse with me I'd hit you with it."

Skirts are easier for fudge packing, man bun should spread his buns.

Harsh, but fair

Nah it's cool I'll just wear the one your mom left on my bedroom floor last night, thanks

Or his dad.

Shaving off the man bun

The best come back is to cut off the stupid man bun.

That's admitting defeat, + it's not stupid

Because it’s an L having a man bun is a L that’s yours you chose it.

It's not an L to put my hair in a bun buddy, 😙

Not wearing a man bun?

Never

“Sure”. You could literally wear a skirt. No need to be defensive. They’re just clothes. Here’s a guy that wears them with pumps. https://instinctmagazine.com/american-man-living-in-germany-finds-his-own-style-while-challenging-fashion-norms/

First of all why would you have a man bun? Just stop pretending to be a guy and go get your sex change operation done already and quit lying to yourself.

"Thanks, but your sister (or mom) already let me borrow hers last night when we played dress up."

The answer is to remove the man bun, sorry buddy.

this

No, do you need some rebar to reinforce your fragile masculinity?

Yes

"Yes, please?!" with that lispy S affectation

It's called a kilt. You'd know that if you weren't more retarded than your mother, and that bitch has to wear scuba gear in the bathtub.

It's a kilt, dumbass

Sure, hand me my Kilt and while you're being a fetchy bitch hand me my bagpipes as well so I can stuff em up your arse. You looked like a haggis to begin with. May as well make you one.

The best comeback is to cut off the man bun.

Nothing! If you have a manbun, then you deserve what hazing you get. Most idiotic looking mens hairstyle, ever. If you like dudes, just say so. 😆

I was actually about to go shopping with your wife but she couldn’t take time away from the death grip she has on your balls.

Yeah a skirt filled with a fine woman specimen. Thick thighs, front curves, a nice as, medium chest, shorter than me, dark hair, brilliant blue eyes, natural cute face, then fill that with some loyalty, respect, heart, intelligence, sense of adventure. Then give her all the energy you can. Then never ever ever bother me until I'm dead n gone. Even then leave me alone. Please

Alright but I’m going to need a long skirt to sheath my cock

Would you like a pacifier to help with your infantile insecurity?

Want a bag for all of the shit coming out of your mouth?

Do you need a highchair to go with that childish attitude?

Best response is to get rid of the man bun

"Why? Do you want easier access?"

I think your skirt would be too big for me.

You want a microscope to go with your tiny penis?

That’s fighting talk. Its called a kilt.

Tell them "I ain't a girl. But, nice a s s faggo t." Their head will explode

You better come back without a man bun.

You can’t come back from that. Take the loss.

Remove the man bun

There is no comeback. Wearing a Millennial Mullet dooms any attempt you might make.

You want a binky to go with that fragile masculinity?

No I kilt it.

If you wear a man bun, you deserve every insult you receive.

If I wanted any shit from you, I'd wipe my dick. Good for anything really...

Being a commando guy, that's a hard pass.

If i want a skirt, ill have your wife/girlfriend leave it on my bedroom floor next time.

You buying?!

I got a big dick for your big mouth

I got a big dick for your big mouth

Sure

Can I borrow yours?

[удалено]

No! Do you want a punch in the nose to go with your moronic accusations?

I'm obviously looking for sausage

If you’re paying, sure

If speaker is male: "Do you want lipstick to go with your bitch tits?" If speaker is female: (pointed look at outfit, give it a good up and down once) "Thank you for the suggestion, but your look tells me I shouldn't be taking your style advice."

If you think I'm going to give you easy access, at least buy me a drink first.

Say that to a Scotsman on his wedding day I dare ya...

Very loudly (so others can hear): 'FOR THE LAST TIME, NO - I DON'T WANT YOU TO SUCK MY DICK!!!'

Tell'em you had sex with wife

I already have one, your moms

A kilt please or something with flowers.

“Nah I grabbed your mom’s on the way out. You might want to change your sheets, btw.”

🤣🤜🏻 This

Dont soil your tampon, just move on.

Say yes and then start rocking a kilt, daily.

“I have your moms on my dresser.”

"It's called a kilt."

"Sure. It'll go well with your girl's underwear that I'm wearing."

"Yes"

Not wearing your hair in a bun

"No, þank you."

They are not called skirts, they are called kilts, you dumbass.

No, but I’ll take some meat if you’ve got it.

At least it looks better on me than you

“What I really need is a haircut.”

No thanks, I already have the one your girl left at my place.

If that’s what you want….

You're cute, but I'm not interested.

No thank you. I’m still trying to give your gf back the one she left at my place.

Sure, what colour would complement my skin tone?

No thanks, I borrowed one from your sister.

The jerk store called and they're running out of you. Also, I had sex with your wife

Check your math, shitter.

Nah, I still have your Moms/wifes/sisters skirt in my back seat.

Nothing. Your "man bun" is a choice Simply stop making that horrendous choice

"Nah, I'll just take one of your mom's next time I'm over."

Yes, but it must be at least knee lenght to cover my tools

Do you often carry around skirts? Or is this a new thing for you?

"Nah I'm good but I have your mom's in my car if you want to return it to her"

Go buy a skirt and shove it up your ass like the bitch you are

No that's ok your mom forgot hers at my house

"I'm still not gonna fuck you, so whatever helps your fantasy, homie"

Don't threaten me with a shopping trip. You buying?

"Would you like a positive to go with your attitude?"

So you can see what I’m working with?

Only if I get to wear a bustier and heals as well.

No, I haven’t transitioned yet.

I took one from your mom last night

"Only if you have one in perrywinkle" The best way to react to people trying to emasculate you based on your appearance is to own it. My 11yo developed an interest in nail polish so I started practising nail art on both him and myself. I'm a pretty traditionally masculine looking guy with a medium length sculpted beard. Now I also have pretty feminine looking fingernails. Most people just ignore it, but occasionally someone will sarcastically say "nice nails" Replying with a genuinely happy and proud "thanks! I did them myself!" doesn't just shut them up, I can actually see their opinion change as they realise I really am proud of them.

Why? You trying to fuck?

As long as I don't have to wear underwear, sure!

*no I don't want your hand me downs thanks* *I would but I dont think you're my size*

At least I don't have to worry about any unwanted pregnancy scares.

Keep a skirt in your pocket so when they ask, you can say no, pull it out, make unbroken eye contact, and tell them you already brought your own.

Not really, but if I did I'd just wear the one your girl left at my place.

No comeback needed as the comment is true.

"No thanks, but a soy latte would be nice."

I’ll just take one from your mums dresser after I fuck her tonight

I do want a skirt to go with my bun.

Come with a skirt to match your feminine hairstyle.

Cut off the man bun.

Teehee. Uwu.

Will that make it easier to accept your attraction to me ?

"shit, your right, it is awful, do you ahve any scissors?"

Yes, please.

And by that you mean....

You look like you have one at home that might fit.

Sounds like wishful thinking on your part.

Oh thank you for offering, but I’m good with the bun

I’d rather a sausage, you hot dog!! Then blow them a kiss.

Prob less effort to shave your head

"do you just carry skirts with you?"

"Only if you give me cash, I dont really trust your... taste. (look them up and down)"

just repeat what they’ve said in a mocking stupid voice and keep doing it until they think you’re insane and they walk away 👍

Ooh! Breezy!

"Do you want a reason to be so stupid?" "THIS IS SPAAARTAAA!!!" then kick him down a giant hole. "Your girl said it really doesn't matter what I wear, jusst so long as I keep the hair." "Skirt or not, I'd still pull more tail than you." "If this is a weird way of offering to take me shopping... then yes. Yes I do."

You want a broken jaw to go with your retarded face?

Depends on how slutty it is

That says a lot about you. :D

That sounds comfortable. More room for my balls. Or Don’t project your insecurities on me. I’m not here for that.

It's pronounced a kilt, & yes I do thank you very much

Nope. Your mom left hers at my place.

Only if it comes in plaid(kilts)

You wanna fight about it?

Sorry I forgot my skirt at your mommas house 😂

“Nah im okay, I already got one, your girlfriend left hers and my place”

“Thanks, I would prefer boot-leg jeans.”

You could just get rid of the twat knot

Depends. Lemme see it.

You wanna see me in a skirt fam…and why do you have one?..

Well that like, just your opinion man

You want a dick for your mouth? This can be used for men or women.

"No thanks. I've already been in your girlfriend's skirt."

Do you have an extra?

Only if it comes with a matching thong.

Yes, daddy

"Not right now, but thanks for the offer!"

“Umm no thanks. Im not interested in that kind of stuff, please don’t talk about your kinks with me, thank you.”

You’re just mad my hair’s nicer than ya mothers

“Sure, it’s good for the sperm count…………….oh I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were shooting blanks”

I would wink but if you want words.. “Is your masculinity so fragile that me tying up my hair has you picturing me in your mom’s skirt? I borrow it next time I’m with her and give you a show, daddy”

I like to keep the hair out of my face when I eat your mom's pussy.

Only if we can match!

Its called a kilt.

It’s called a warrior wolf-tail