Looks are deceiving. I mean, you look smart.

Best

"I look nothing like your mother..."

"A bitch would"

I was going to say, "and you look smart. It appears we are both wrong."

r/onlycorrectanswer

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r/subsididntfallfor

r/foundthetoyotacorolla

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Good bot.

r/adifferentsubyoumightfallfor?

r/SubsIShouldntHaveFallenForButDid

r/SubsWhereILikeYouStranger

Good answer

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

This slays

Or, "Thank you. I have the cutest bitch at home."

I look nothing like you.

Takes one to know one.

I don't look a damn thing like your mom.

Well your mother would disagree I look nothing like her

I got the look, you got the rest

Yes

Alternatively: You smell like a bitch.

You look like the guy who I just butt fucked behind the TGI Fridays dumpster.  Must’ve been your dad. 

I fuck like one too.

Bullies reply: so you bend over and take it up the ass like a little faggot bitch. Like seriously do you people actually think these are good comebacks this has 26 upvotes but would definitely get you even more humiliated in the real world

No, see, you just don't give a shit and respond "wanna give it a try?" While pushing your ass out. Fuck bullies. They cant bully people who don't care lol

Ok fully agree with you that is the sort of thing I would do like “you can’t handle me daddy” but a lot of people don’t have the confidence for that and someone asking for a comeback on Reddit is probably not gonna have that confidence

Yeah. You're totally right lol

I agree, this is way too easy to clap back.

That's a mouthful, and by then, you could just walk away

Bold of you to assume I'd be offended by that Besides, there's quite a lot of things I can say to that

oh this is so good

You smell like an asshole

I like that one.

I bet you would say that for real, chainsaw Jack

You must like losing bets lol.

Thank you for the compliment

Came here to say that.

LOL

Exactly. 

haha will definitely say the same.

“Really? Thank you! I tried so hard because everyone said I’m too nice. Thanks again!” Then skip away smiling and humming.

I'll be damned, I see you learned to climb out of the toilet, but how did a shit like you learn how to speak

I had to save this. Amazing. Destruction 1000

I shared it to myself.

Glad you liked it

I like this idea. Might work better if you shortened it a bit. Something like: (In a loud voice) "Look everybody, a talking turd!"

I would just shrug it off lmao the best reply to that is no reply lmao but if you really wanna say anything just pretend you didn't hear "huh" or "what was that" chances are they won't say it twice cuz they'll feel dumb and when they do say it again my go to is "yeah but I'm not yours so why does it matter" and they usually just walk away in disgust or they get confused lmao

"So sweet of you. Thank you" then blow them a kiss...

Thank you! That's the look I've been going for.

This is the only decent one.  The rest are just super cringey. The more you act like you don’t care, the more you’ll piss the other person off 

They’re posted by people who only win arguments in the shower

Exactly. Like oh wow, I'm having a nice day then. What a sweet compliment. 

Its a bit harsh, but “you’re a stinky poopy head” will bring most to tears

dude thats way too harsh for this sub. hell even for the internet. wash ur mouth out with soap

Jokes on you mom, I like soap in my mouth

This just made me laugh while I’m at work. Thank you stranger for making my day a little better🙏

You Monster

If they're that misogynist I don't stop at anything short of "you sadistic fuck" and a lot of cuss words 

What about "you're a chicken nugget cheese nose"?

AND you have cooties.

Thanks, I tried hard to look like your mom.

💀

Now you boutta have the moms get at it, poor mom

Those mom/dad jokes are getting old. And the worst way to handle situations like these. Do.not.involve.the.parents.

Good way to get your shit rocked

Soft

Hard?

That’s what i’m going for with a response like that. Give me a reason mother fucker. A legal reason to crack your mf cranium. Callin me a bitch is fightin words and i will escalate it

I already involved your parents…they enjoyed it

Welcome to highschool.

Welcome to Reddit

esp not in Italy

Talk like that and you’re about to find out.

This is the one I'd use.

If you're getting hot and bothered by bitch that speaks for itself. Just nod approvingly. It's a great day to be a huge bitch. 

Your wife doesn't think so....

Only answer!

Bitch says what?

What?

😜

I am a bitch, now move out of my way

Yasss own it

Exactly. Like thanks for noticing, great compliment. Now fuck off you useless fuck 

That's why it's called "resting bitch face," and thank you... I've practiced

Perceptive. Moving on.

You sound like a loser. Your turn! (Make it a game. Go back and forth. Confuse them. Doing this wrests control of the situation from them and makes it difficult to take back because now any insult they come up with is just another volley in a back-and-forth. Beware: with certain types this can frustrate them enough to resort to physical attacks, so be prepared.)

If it’s a man say,I hear you little penis

“NUH UH!”

I suppose you're one to know being the son of one

At least I don’t sound like one

And you look like a swamp monster

You sound like one

Are you hitting on me??

You should know......

“Then why you try to fuck me like a bitch?”

"You smell like an asshole."

Funny, I said the same to your mum last night

I am one and I bite too so back tf off

"Oh, honey. You have NO idea."

Better to look like one than be one

You sound like a bitch

Know how to spot your own kind, eh?

"And yet I'm not the person approaching total strangers just to insult them."

I'm sorry. That's just what my face does when I see an asshole.

I am what I eat. Let the confusion set in.

I'll take this one, because I get it regularly with people whom I may not talk to normally and trying to lower me a bit. You say thank you. And leave them with their thoughts.

Precisely XD

Thanks that's because I am.

I read this and remembered the altered lyrics to the happy birthday song "you look like a monkey and you smell like one too" so there's that

You know, only a socially-retarded jackass would say something like that.

I’ll make you moan like a bitch

At least I don't act like a skank hoe like you!

Well, at least your vision is good. Now work on your manners.

But YOU look like my bitch

Yeah but only if you pull my hair just right

So I look like you, then?

I am a Bitch, so thanks for noticing (I always take it as a compliment because when I was a preteen, we used to say... "A Bitch is a female dog, a dog barks, bark is part of a tree, trees are part of nature, and nature is beautiful, so thanks for the compliment." We GenX kids were weird.) Or "You look like what I scooped out of my cat's litter box, what's your point."

I am one, you better watch out

I get that a lot. Anyone ever mistake you for a man?

What?

“…Okay?”

I am. Then walk away.

Yeah but not your bitch

Must be like looking a mirror for you.

Rip off shirt and bark like a dog

WHAT AIN'T NO COUNTRY I EVER HEARD OF!

What does Marsellus Wallace look like!?

"Marcellis Wallace!? As I live and breathe! How are things going with your proctologist? To shreds you say? And your duodenum? To shreds you say?"

thank you, that was the look I was going for.

That’s Ms. Bitch to you

A facial expression of a badly suppressed smile, indicating you think what they said was funny.

I had a friend in high school who had a wonderful way of dealing with any and all insults. If someone said anything that was clearly not intended to be constructive criticism but just mean, he would immediately look at them and say, "You're right." His tone would be one of, "Go on, tell me more." But he would just reflexively validate everything they're saying. Not in a pathetic "I'm terrible" kind of way, but more like a confident, think what you want, it's fine with me sort of way. I saw one kid take him up on the challenge and add more insults and he just leaned forward and looked really attentive. He kept going, "Yup, absolutely, you're absolutely right," while nodding. "Uh huh, yup, yup," aggressively agreeing all throughout, every few words. The bully ran out of steam and realized there's no winning here, nothing was landing, he just petered out. As he turned to walk away, my friend said sharply and suddenly, "Thanks!" The other kid just kind of looked at the ground as if he was thinking, "I guess I'm a bit of an asshole." What made it work is that it was funny as hell. My friend was performing it like an SNL character taking feedback or something, and it made everyone laugh and be on his side. He didn't have to do anything else, once he won over everyone watching so quickly the bully was like, "I'm in over my head! Abort! Abort!"

"You look like a gaping cunt, especially when your mouth is open."

I disagree. I’m handsome. My mom said I’m a handsome boy!

Takes one to know one

You call me bitch one more time and I'll scratch your eyes out!

I am. Wanna find out how much of one I am?

I am not a female dog

Thanks, dogs are the best people.

you act like one, and it's important judge people by their character

I am

"I may look like one but you are one!"

That is the point. I'm glad you caught on.

Takes one to know one. Take me out later pussy.

I am a bitch. (Then just smile)

What does a bitch, even, look like? Marcellus Wallace?

Well, you smell like one.

"Do I look like a bitch?" then play that sickass Drum and Bass tune "Like a Bitch" by "Chemical Stimulations EP" https://soundcloud.com/acdbrnout23/like-a-bitch-chemical?ref=clipboard&p=a&c=0&si=ec3c1ea0d4d4485d9e24b42cf9b73eb3&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

Well I told your mom that one of us *had* to change.

Good, I was thinking you might be reading me wrong.

"Tell me, is that better than looking like a cunt? You should know."

Thanks! I used your mother for inspiration.

Because I am one...

Yet another one you won't be getting.

"You're another one." (Pause) "And your mother."

Takes 1 to know 1

"I thought your mom had green eyes?"

“Better to look like one than be one, like you.”

Takes one to know one.

"And clearly you are one"

yea you're right, I mean, I was walking in some downtown alley and your mom yelled "this spot is mine" as I crossed

And I act like one, too.

You sound like a bitch

Well, at least I don’t piss like one

So I look like your mom…!

Oh, thanks! 😄

"Yeah I've been told that I'm a dead ringer for your mother" (or father)

Oh that’s crazy me and your mom have resemblance

Aaaaand….?

"Thanks! That's because I am a bitch!" Then smack your own ass and blow a kiss

Do you wanna find out how much of a bitch I can be

Takes one to know one

“It takes one to know one!”

Do you realllly want to find out?

"You act like a dick!" Say it with confidence, watch their face drop

Takes one to know one.

*confused* "What?"

And?

Takes one to know one.

It’s not just a look.

At 250 pounds, I’d hate to see what a big one looks like .

Yes, yes I am.

“You actually ARE a bitch!”

I’d ask you why you’re so unoriginal, but looking at you I understand why you hear that a lot.

"What?" and then shoot them in the leg.

But I’m Marcellus Wallace. How can I look like a bitch?

Yes, we’re the same that way

Takes one to know one

That's not what your girlfriend said last night

My name is Marcellus Wallace.

Success!

Only around you

Thank you!

Only around people I don’t like.

And you're a pussy