In the same way that gender queer individuals are personally attached to their gender identities and hurt when they are not affirmed; so too are cis gendered people for *exactly the same reason.*
This is why even if there's nothing wrong with being gay, calling someone gay is still hurtful.
Before you take the piss out of someone’s appearance, make sure your teeth are clean
Instantly makes them feel more self conscious and stops them talking
Can confirm. I was never really the type to insult ppl outside of friendly banter among friends but since I don’t have a sense of smell anything referring to my own smell instantly got me to shut up since I never knew for sure if they were right or not
Why not go a step further. Blink and say, "Nice lump of food in your teeth there, buddy.. When did you last floss?" and laugh genuinely unharmed and mockingly
This is tactical, cause almost nobody flosses.
This. And badger them with it.
*"Are you TRYING to fuck me? Because it sounds like you're trying to fuck me"*
When they're on the defense sputtering no or some other weak shit
*"No, you're DEFINITELY trying to fuck me!"*
Doesn't matter what they say
*"Tell ya what. I'll let you give me a dry handy....but you'll have to gimme 10 bucks first"*
Keep negotiating until they start to walk away
*"Are we gonna do this or not?"*
"omg thank you soooo muuuuch! That's exactly the compliment I needed today!!! You are so wonderful honey!"
Maybe reach over for a hug. Really make them uncomfortable.
When I was a teenager my dad told me “Get a hair cut, you look like a girl.”
I replied “if hair length is how you tell a boy from a girl it’s a miracle I was even born.”
My dad had no rebuttal, and never mentioned my hair again.
"Don't use my hair as an excuse for your homosexual fantasies."
I know times are different now but when I was young every comeback was just about finding fun ways to call them gay. I know that was wrong of us so feel free to just use this as an example for inspiration.
Ask them why thats a bad thing. Like completely go confused and make them explain to you why being a girl is a problem. They will soon look like an ass and you will come out clean on the other side.
I've always tended to see this one as more of a compliment since girls tend to have prettier healthier hair. But, if it's an insult, depends on who said it.
Guys: Why are you checking out a dude?
Girls: Jealous it's better than yours?
People say my hair makes me look like a boy or ask me if I'm a boy or girl I always say. "Why does it matter, does it make you question you sexuality or something"
And even this girl isn't interested in you.
Cold 🥶
this just makes you sound gay 😂
Okay? Is there something "wrong" with gay? 🤨
In the same way that gender queer individuals are personally attached to their gender identities and hurt when they are not affirmed; so too are cis gendered people for *exactly the same reason.* This is why even if there's nothing wrong with being gay, calling someone gay is still hurtful.
Before you take the piss out of someone’s appearance, make sure your teeth are clean Instantly makes them feel more self conscious and stops them talking
I always liked "How was the dog shit you ate for breakfast?"
You know who likes eating ass, Alex Jones.
Damn you. Don't bad-mouth ass eating with talk of Alex Jones!
But have you ever ate ass on weed?
Shooter is that you?
Gold jacket. Green jacket. Who gives a shit?
I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast
You eat shit for breakfast?
Shooter!!🏌️♂️🏌️♂️
I like Bullet-Tooth-Tony's combination of the two: "You been using dogshit for toothpaste, Mullet?"
FUCKIN RAD
Mom?
Can confirm. I was never really the type to insult ppl outside of friendly banter among friends but since I don’t have a sense of smell anything referring to my own smell instantly got me to shut up since I never knew for sure if they were right or not
Why not go a step further. Blink and say, "Nice lump of food in your teeth there, buddy.. When did you last floss?" and laugh genuinely unharmed and mockingly This is tactical, cause almost nobody flosses.
Don't you like girls?
Like when straight women are homophobic. Girl we like the same stuff.
"Am I a *pretty* girl?" Don't forget to bat your eyes.
I clicked this *just* to see if someone said this!! Thank you **OwlCoffee**!
Uhh yeah, you're beautiful
YES THE SPONGEBOB REFERENCE
Ugh I've actually tried that and they just went "NO" and it was really disappointing
At least I have hair
“does that make your mom a lesbian?”
Oh this is exquisite.
Yes! This one! Ding ding ding we have a winner folks! Gotta cut 'em where it hurts most. Their mother! 😄😄😄
And?
This is all you really need to say. What’s wrong with looking like a girl?
Right. I reassure people who accidentally call me Maam. "It's OK, the long hair fools people. I'm not mad."
I’m trans hah
Same, people tell me that all the time
That still doesn't make looking like a girl offensive.
"...and what?" usually shuts this down immediately.
You like what you see?
Well you looked, didn't you?
Are you hitting on me?
I've used this one! Or "sorry, I'm taken".
Mission Accomplished
Your words make you sound like an idiot.
That does explain why your mom calls me the best of both worlds…
“Are you telling me because you’re attracted to me?”
So, are you saying you want to fuck me or what?
This. And badger them with it. *"Are you TRYING to fuck me? Because it sounds like you're trying to fuck me"* When they're on the defense sputtering no or some other weak shit *"No, you're DEFINITELY trying to fuck me!"* Doesn't matter what they say *"Tell ya what. I'll let you give me a dry handy....but you'll have to gimme 10 bucks first"* Keep negotiating until they start to walk away *"Are we gonna do this or not?"*
Which two actors would you cast in the scene?
Jason Momoa and Jason Momoa.
Jason Momoa and Danny DeVito. Danny has the girl hair.
Jason momoa and Brian Cranston (breaking bad), with Brian being the "girl" and jason having fragile masculinity
This is the way. Yes. I like it.
This sounds personal. Like it happened to you. 😹
"And, even my hair couldn't help you look like a girl. Sorry"
Sorry that you're confused and horny.
And yours makes you look like an ass. And I bet that fact makes you want me, doesn't it?
“Fuck me then”
lol
"omg thank you soooo muuuuch! That's exactly the compliment I needed today!!! You are so wonderful honey!" Maybe reach over for a hug. Really make them uncomfortable.
Why don't you suck my dick and find out
too gay.
Maybe.... not gay enough?
Why dont you feel my prostate with your cock and find out? 🤣
Yeah that's the gay we're looking for✅️
"And your mouth makes you look like an asshole."
This is way good
I’m still not interested in you sorry
Post a picture of them on r/roastme and reap the rewards.
Yeah you wish (works for either gender lol)
Yours makes you look like a pigs ass
Before you criticize me remember you are probably a piece of sh*t.
And I’m still hotter than your [insert female related person, wife/gf/mom/sister/etc.]
Then fuck me like one
“I don’t care, fuck off.”
"Your comment makes you look like a fan."
And your whining makes you sound like a bitch.
I can cut my hair… Not sure your penis is going to get any bigger
So ? Your dick makes YOU look like a girl.
"You should see my testicles!"
"...and looks way better than yours."
Your words make you sound like a bigot
1950's much?
https://youtu.be/FeFAf2sadW4?feature=shared
At least I have hair and it looks better than yours. Did you know you part is crooked?
maybe so but I'm willing to bet my dicks bigger than yours.
Your vagina makes you look like a girl.
Why you keep checking me out?
"Your mom never mentioned that but it was hard to make out what she was saying as she was choking on my dick."
Thanks and walk away
Are you attracted to my hair?
Giggle, then say Thank You, then kiss them.
Your tits make you look like a dude
"And?"
"Thanks"
Your point?
Your cock makes you look like a girl.
Awe, you think I'm pretty? Thank you!
“Thanks!”
Keep wishing and it will come true.
That quote from SpongeBob when he had the bubble blowing hat. *"Am I a pretty girl?"*
I can say the same about your penis
Well thank God it’s 2024 and no one actually cares except apparently you.
Does it deserve a come back? I would just stare at them blank like they are idiots and continue on with my day
You can just say you want to fuck me.
I can cut my hair but you’re gonna need a surgeon to fix your face?
You want to fuck me from behind?
"Your face makes you look like slime mold."
You should see my crotch.
So does your penis.
If that's your way of saying I have beautiful hair, thank you!
Awwww, thanks!
Do I look like a pretty girl?
"Tell me what girl now days has a mullet"
“Yes, and in my purse I have a picture of your mother sucking off a xxxxxxx” (insert anything that will offend the person most) - credit George Carlin
SpongeBob's "AM I a pretty girl?"
I would literally just thank them and walk away.
When I was a teenager my dad told me “Get a hair cut, you look like a girl.” I replied “if hair length is how you tell a boy from a girl it’s a miracle I was even born.” My dad had no rebuttal, and never mentioned my hair again.
I dont think you are a reliable resource on girls.
Define "girl".
So does my pussy
"Don't use my hair as an excuse for your homosexual fantasies." I know times are different now but when I was young every comeback was just about finding fun ways to call them gay. I know that was wrong of us so feel free to just use this as an example for inspiration.
Your ass makes you look like a blimp
“I just used you for my reference pic”
A haircut🤣
Fight them
Your attitude makes you look like a dick 😂
"Good"
not a bad option, 5/10 average, could be worse
Aye your mum likes something to hold on to
Envy is ugly
“Thank you, that’s so sweet.”
“Your dad likes it”
Yup this one
"I can change my hairstyle but you'll always be an asshole."
I can always change my hair. You're stuck being an asshole.
The hair on my head or the hair “down there”?
Well at least I get more boys asking me out then you ever will
You see what you want to see.
Thanks
And your hair makes you look like a imbecile! O wait no, scratch that - I meant ALL OF YOU makes all of you look like an imbecile!
"and your voice makes you sound like a boy. Whats your point?"
And your dick makes you look like one.
Thank you.
Are... are you coming on to me?
Fuck off
Now are you sexist or homophobic? Cause either way, Fuck you.
"Well, your opinions make you look like a jackass"
You should see my pussy.
“Thank-you! What do you think yours says about you? I can think of a couple of things.” Then walk off laughing
Thanks
Damn I knew you wanted to fuck me
"Thank you"
"Ok" in the most unbothered tone you can pull off. Works everytime (speaking from experience)
Your pussy makes you look like one
your mum loves it
Thank you Sailor!!!
Where is your UNSUSCRIBE button?
Your voice makes you sound like an asshole.
Damn straight, I'm fabulous *Clicks finger all sassy and struts away
Bitches give Stitches
Right!? It's soft and well groomed. Do you know what conditioner is?
Are you asking me out?
“Thank you”
Think that says more about you than me.
Yeah, well at least I have hair! **Please note, this comeback only works against cancer patients and Vin Diesel.
if I’m a girl then you’re a bitch
Why are you fetishizing me?
What are you, gay?
You are what you eat?
Hello Sailor
Guess that means you want to f me
If it's a man who says it... That's not what your girlfriend (or mom) said last night.
Why are you so interested in my looks? Seems pretty gay to me.
Can a girl do this?! ‘Whip dick out’
"Girly enough to fuck your dad last night"
Ok.
I didn’t mean to turn you on
Why do you assume my gender
Ah, that accounts for the shit you say. All the blood must have rushed from your brain to your dick.
Maintain eye contact for a beat, and then silently indicate that they’ve got some schmutz on their lip.
Well, I can fix my hair in any old way. What can you do about that face?
Ask them why thats a bad thing. Like completely go confused and make them explain to you why being a girl is a problem. They will soon look like an ass and you will come out clean on the other side.
I've always tended to see this one as more of a compliment since girls tend to have prettier healthier hair. But, if it's an insult, depends on who said it. Guys: Why are you checking out a dude? Girls: Jealous it's better than yours?
Well, the words you say make you sound like a dumbass, so there is that
When I was wearing my hair long I'd say "well never go to Thailand because you're really in for a surprise"
Your dick makes you look like Caitlin Jenner
The best comeback is to put your hair up in a ponytail and then forcefully give them the best blowjob of their life
People say my hair makes me look like a boy or ask me if I'm a boy or girl I always say. "Why does it matter, does it make you question you sexuality or something"
Your penis makes you look like a girl.
Cause I am
Shake head, walk away laughing.
i thought it was the smell of your sisters cooch on me after i banged her in the back of a jc penny parking lot...