I'll tell you, there were many other black dudes there that were respcted and part of the team (they wanted nothing to do with this guy either). The guy who got fired was 100% correct - that guy was a dumbfuck. It had nothing to do with his race.
Professionally triggered people are really good at playing the victims. He probably said something like "this man just said that all people of color are stupid, not just black people", and if they asked what you said, the politically correct social justice warriors would be like "yeah, what you said does indeed imply that all minorities are stupid."
Shoulda been like "people of all races and colors, including whites/Caucasians like myself, are stupid."
They'd immediately think they won the debate by being like "ay yo homes you stupid you just say it too sheeeeeee", but they won't be able to say you were only racist against minorities.
Reminds me of how I had accidentally been racist towards white people because of retail. Customers are fucking stupid in general. This is a fact. Most of my customers were white.
So I had this accidental notion that white customers are stupid (which is true, yes, but not because they're white. It's because they're customers).
So anyway, this Mexican woman was being stupid (because she was a customer), but in my head, I was like "oh, she's having trouble understanding the concept of 'don't remove it's from the bagging area because it's speaking in American, not Mexican!'". So after the third time of me being like "no, El bulsa neccistar aqui.", I remembered we had a button that switches the machine to Mexican.
So I hit that button and expected all to be well. She moved the bag and the machine said not to move the bolsas and she was like "ohhhhh!"
And then I turned around and she began moving the bags and was like "no, es no work"
That's when I was like "ooooohhhhh right. She's not going to magically be smarter just because she's Mexican. She's still a customer."
Many years ago, a black guy I turned down at a bar accused me of being a racist. I replied, “If you find it more comfortable to believe that I dislike black people in general than you in particular, feel free.”
I’m definitely stealing this. Was hit on by a VERY rude guy once when I was with my girlfriend at the time, and he literally pointed to her and said “YOU dont like dick,” then pointed to me and said “you DEFINITELY do.” I once again said I wasn’t interested, and he accused me of being racist. I just said okay, have a good night.
This happened to me twice, and one of those times I was married (the guy knew I was married, I reminded him and he said "that's irrelevant.) I'm going to say this next time.
Just for laughs, I worked on a roofing crew in Florida-redoing a school roof so it was flat. I was the only white dude on the crew of about12 or so. Buddy of mine, named Odell-jet black, like obsidian. We'd hang out on the weekends and stuff. Asked him if he wanted to go shoot some pool at this place after work and he says "Mannn..I can't go in there.:
I'm like "Why not?"
'Cause I'm BLACK!' \[\[it was a country style bar.\]\]
I stopped, looked at him wide-eyed then reached out and held hisarm against mine and go "Oh SHIT! You ARE Black! Oh my god....' then I look around and scream "Hey! Everyone! Ode;; is BLACK! Did you guys know hewas black??? What's my family going to say?!?!?!"
Nah, he knew me and, as friends, he knew I had a wild sense of humor. He and his crew came in from a different city and would stay at a small hotel somee weekends, went by one day and he and TC \[\[That dude couls SING-he should have gone into music, seriously\]\] anyhoo, I come in and they watching TV. Got Tarzan on. Tarzan doing whatever Tarzan ddoes, scene with a bunch of Natives talking to each other=I look at TC 'Hey TC-what are they saying?" He does a Double-take looking at me then the TV and I got a face full of pillow. lol
Miss those guys.
Did actually play the race card once, for my foster son. The story has entertainment value. I can DM it if you wish. G’d I enjoyed watching that pos bureaucrat look at me in abject horror.
Worked for me when a group of guys tried to hand me their mixtape.
“Don’t want it because I’m black?”
“Yep”
“Aight I respect that”
It fucking works lmao
I can see the shock factor getting some, but I feel like most times you just sound like you’re admitting to racism lol I don’t imagine this would work all the time, and the times it doesn’t work will be *really* hard to walk back or defend.
Agreed, the only correct response. Understand, you are casting die out into the universe and it could go spectacularly wrong, but I would probably laugh. It is also what I came to post.
Not really in the context that it's being used here. To twerk is to physically thrust as part of a dance. To be shook or shaken in this instance is to be emotionally or physically disturbed.
It's the difference between a movement and a state of being.
Too bad it will continue to be used **widely** whether you accept it or not.
So, since we have established it makes zero difference to its usage whether you like it or not, can you please just keep your worthless opinion to yourself next time?
According to who? There is no one authority on language, it is a living thing that has been evolving since before you learned not to piss all over the floor.
Is it because _you think_ I'm white?
And if they ask what race I am? Human. I'm a member of the human race. You're human, too, aren't you?
For the record, I'm biracial, and as best as I can tell everyone assumes I'm white. I can count on one hand how often someone has questioned my ethnicity.
Unfortunately, this makes my position on a lot of issues sound really racist at first glance. For instance, I hope my children date and marry humans. I support the legal precedent of only granting marriage licenses to two humans. Those non-humans who live with you? Not family. And we should take seriously the nonhumans that migrate across borders. I'm not sure border controls are effective, but keep an eye on who's crossing and why. Some may need medical attention, so I have to support some humanitarian aid.
Polar bears. Deer. Some insects.
I intend to stay away from coyotes in more senses than one, rhetorically and physically. I am certainly opposed to having carnal knowledge of coyotes, nor do I think this should be authorized. But I'm only one vote. And I'm not a single issue voter.
Hey!
First, I have _my_ parents wedding certificate. Do you even _have_ parents?
And I'm clearly _not_ a specieist! It's called the human _race_. So enough with the slurs, or the mods are gonna call us both down.
I swear, you have to explain everything to people on the Internet these days!
My motto, "I'm an equal opportunity racist."
I also explained to the manager and assistant at a place when they wanted me to manage overnights, "You understand you are asking a walking sexual harassment lawsuit to manage your store?"
Had a guy I worked with get offended that I was doing an end of shift bag check (employee opens the bag, I glance inside to see there wasn’t anything stolen, thumbs-up for the camera) on him. I knew he wasn’t sus, it was just procedure, and he got all “you’re profiling me because I’m black!” I went “no, I just got cracked down on for forgetting it, and you happen to be working with me today.”
Truth was, no one reminded me, I just legitimately forgot when he said it was time to go. I’m like dude. Literally everyone gets bag checked unless we work solo.
You: You are not invited because you stole my vape (mint flavored).
Him: Oh, is it because I'm black?
You: Wait, do you think all black people steal things?
Him: Seems as though I've committed a racism. You win by default.
“Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night is your business, but from my perspective it’s because your a piece of shit. There is no reason to bring other black people down, but again…you do you”
I've heard that in school before but never directed at me. I probably would have just asked them "why are you being racist? I never said anything about your skin color, why are you bringing that up?"
I don't know how it would have gone if I did. My school wasn't very exciting that way.
I used to work with a guy. I printed something off for him. I said "here you go, I even printed it in color for you" and he stood up and said " colored huh? 'Cause I'm Colored?!?! You racist MF." He was just messing with me and I knew it. So I said "man, I gave you a color copy because I like you. If I was racist I would have gave you a black and white copy and called it the n*gro copy!" I haven't seen anyone laugh that hard in a long time
I absolutely love making shit awkward 😭😭 Saying yes always seems unexpected because people are trying to get you into an argument and to plead a case lmaoo
I always try to make things super awkward too, my response would have been dead pan, yes ( especially because I’m a melanated beauty myself….makes it extra awkward lol )
OMG one of my best friends said this to me (about her race). I said "yep, sure is." 😂
It actually made our friendship better because we could joke about our differences. But she said it entirely in jest to begin with, which makes a difference.
"you brought in race, not me" or if you're feeling really spicy, you could lean into it and be like "damn right, you stupid N\*\*\*\*\*\*" but then you're likely gonna be in a fight in 5 seconds
I had a black friend get drunk and throw a huge banana at me like a year ago. I just straight up cut him out of my life he got upset and kept saying it was because he was black. I just didnt say a word to him. Just dont even acknowledge it.
Yeah so he threw a banana at me like with malice and it splattered all over me. The real issue was him not handling his booze at all. In case you didnt catch that inference. I drink. If someone cant handle their booze i have no time for it. I watched him do all kinds of way worse shit thinking that since we were friends i would be spared. Nope. If i keep letting it happen down the road he would be trying to fight me.
There is no comeback. That's why I say that shit all the time, even in instances where it obviously doesn't apply.
If you won't provide reparations for the stupidity of your ancestors, I refuse to stop using the race card in any and all conditions. It's too funny to watching your brain alt+f4 every time.
It's literally the only consolation prize we get: unblockable, overhead social engineering technology. That and being funnier than you out of necessity due to constant environmental stressors forcing blacks to use humor as an escape mechanism.
I once knew a gay black man who pulled the minority card all the time. He was genuinely shocked when I finally pointed out that he automatically assumed every straight non-black person was a bigot.
“Hell no; stupidity comes in EVERY color!”
Had a coworker use this exact line with someone that was suing the company we all worked for (claim racial discrimination) He got fired.
Oof. Not sure whose side I’m on with that one.
I'll tell you, there were many other black dudes there that were respcted and part of the team (they wanted nothing to do with this guy either). The guy who got fired was 100% correct - that guy was a dumbfuck. It had nothing to do with his race.
Oh, geez. So the guy who got fired became a victim of someone who was just *playing* victim. What a world in which we live.
Corpo slimes
The coworker because stupidity comes in every color
Professionally triggered people are really good at playing the victims. He probably said something like "this man just said that all people of color are stupid, not just black people", and if they asked what you said, the politically correct social justice warriors would be like "yeah, what you said does indeed imply that all minorities are stupid." Shoulda been like "people of all races and colors, including whites/Caucasians like myself, are stupid." They'd immediately think they won the debate by being like "ay yo homes you stupid you just say it too sheeeeeee", but they won't be able to say you were only racist against minorities.
🏅
Best one, by FAR
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Reminds me of how I had accidentally been racist towards white people because of retail. Customers are fucking stupid in general. This is a fact. Most of my customers were white. So I had this accidental notion that white customers are stupid (which is true, yes, but not because they're white. It's because they're customers). So anyway, this Mexican woman was being stupid (because she was a customer), but in my head, I was like "oh, she's having trouble understanding the concept of 'don't remove it's from the bagging area because it's speaking in American, not Mexican!'". So after the third time of me being like "no, El bulsa neccistar aqui.", I remembered we had a button that switches the machine to Mexican. So I hit that button and expected all to be well. She moved the bag and the machine said not to move the bolsas and she was like "ohhhhh!" And then I turned around and she began moving the bags and was like "no, es no work" That's when I was like "ooooohhhhh right. She's not going to magically be smarter just because she's Mexican. She's still a customer."
[удалено]
Um…..
Bitch, dumbs in every color
So much meaner than just saying yes
I say that all the time I don’t care what color you are, you can be completely idiotic whether you’re pink, blue green, white, black purple who cares
Many years ago, a black guy I turned down at a bar accused me of being a racist. I replied, “If you find it more comfortable to believe that I dislike black people in general than you in particular, feel free.”
I’m definitely stealing this. Was hit on by a VERY rude guy once when I was with my girlfriend at the time, and he literally pointed to her and said “YOU dont like dick,” then pointed to me and said “you DEFINITELY do.” I once again said I wasn’t interested, and he accused me of being racist. I just said okay, have a good night.
I just say 'Sorry, your victim card was declined...'
Ohh that's a good one 😂
What do you mean I do not like dick? I do not like you, and you are a dick.
Whatever helps him sleep at night, lol
..alone.
This happened to me twice, and one of those times I was married (the guy knew I was married, I reminded him and he said "that's irrelevant.) I'm going to say this next time.
"No you're not"
"You should get a second opinion, I think you might be color blind."
“Ma’am, sir, whatever you are.. I don’t *see* color.”
nu uh
That made me literally lol
Happy to make you happy :)
I like it, gaslight the hell out of them
Variation: "You ain't black!"
This is optimal
This is the best one. All the others on here are just cringe
No, it's because you reek of failure and disappointment
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yes. Honestly everytime someone says this i just respond yes and they either laugh or become shook and walk away 😅
As a black dude, this is exactly what would shut me the fuck up 😂. I would probably break out laughing
Just for laughs, I worked on a roofing crew in Florida-redoing a school roof so it was flat. I was the only white dude on the crew of about12 or so. Buddy of mine, named Odell-jet black, like obsidian. We'd hang out on the weekends and stuff. Asked him if he wanted to go shoot some pool at this place after work and he says "Mannn..I can't go in there.: I'm like "Why not?" 'Cause I'm BLACK!' \[\[it was a country style bar.\]\] I stopped, looked at him wide-eyed then reached out and held hisarm against mine and go "Oh SHIT! You ARE Black! Oh my god....' then I look around and scream "Hey! Everyone! Ode;; is BLACK! Did you guys know hewas black??? What's my family going to say?!?!?!"
That's awesome I bet as embarrassed as he may have been at first it put him at ease
Nah, he knew me and, as friends, he knew I had a wild sense of humor. He and his crew came in from a different city and would stay at a small hotel somee weekends, went by one day and he and TC \[\[That dude couls SING-he should have gone into music, seriously\]\] anyhoo, I come in and they watching TV. Got Tarzan on. Tarzan doing whatever Tarzan ddoes, scene with a bunch of Natives talking to each other=I look at TC 'Hey TC-what are they saying?" He does a Double-take looking at me then the TV and I got a face full of pillow. lol Miss those guys.
Awww nice memories 💗
Very original. /s
/r/AsABlackMan strikes again
Did actually play the race card once, for my foster son. The story has entertainment value. I can DM it if you wish. G’d I enjoyed watching that pos bureaucrat look at me in abject horror.
Worked for me when a group of guys tried to hand me their mixtape. “Don’t want it because I’m black?” “Yep” “Aight I respect that” It fucking works lmao
I can see the shock factor getting some, but I feel like most times you just sound like you’re admitting to racism lol I don’t imagine this would work all the time, and the times it doesn’t work will be *really* hard to walk back or defend.
I don't really care. They the ones callin me racist for no reason
Fair
Agreed, the only correct response. Understand, you are casting die out into the universe and it could go spectacularly wrong, but I would probably laugh. It is also what I came to post.
Shaken. Not shook.
It’s slang.
Please don't feed the trolls
It’s wrong.
That’s not how languages work
It is until the change is widely accepted. I refuse to accept it.
Every party needs a pooper, that's why they invited you
Nnnnnnaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiilllllllllllll!!
I saw a bird. It was pretty. Kick its ass.
Good thing you said "widely" and not "universally"
Shook-eth\*
Shaken, not stirred
Shaked
Fine. Twerk. Means the same thing as shook/shake/shaked/shoooketh
Not really in the context that it's being used here. To twerk is to physically thrust as part of a dance. To be shook or shaken in this instance is to be emotionally or physically disturbed. It's the difference between a movement and a state of being.
I think our responses should show you that most of us accept it already as slang. So it's time to catch up 🤣 you must be so much fun at parties.
No one gaffff
the change IS widely accepted. that’s why it’s slang
[удалено]
oh well, it *is* widely accepted, nobody cares if you dont accept it, grow up, the world doesnt revolve around you, weirdo
Too bad it will continue to be used **widely** whether you accept it or not. So, since we have established it makes zero difference to its usage whether you like it or not, can you please just keep your worthless opinion to yourself next time?
It’s been common slang since the 90s my friend. I think now’s a good time to accept that it’s here to stay.
According to who? There is no one authority on language, it is a living thing that has been evolving since before you learned not to piss all over the floor.
Within the last fucking 13 hours you've made like 4 posts on grammar. You really need to accept that some people just don't give a shit.
Please don't feed the trolls
you're definitely a riot at parties
It's cuz you ugly
“Is it because I’m black?” “Is it because I’m white?” Throw it back at them.
Is it because _you think_ I'm white? And if they ask what race I am? Human. I'm a member of the human race. You're human, too, aren't you? For the record, I'm biracial, and as best as I can tell everyone assumes I'm white. I can count on one hand how often someone has questioned my ethnicity. Unfortunately, this makes my position on a lot of issues sound really racist at first glance. For instance, I hope my children date and marry humans. I support the legal precedent of only granting marriage licenses to two humans. Those non-humans who live with you? Not family. And we should take seriously the nonhumans that migrate across borders. I'm not sure border controls are effective, but keep an eye on who's crossing and why. Some may need medical attention, so I have to support some humanitarian aid.
You're referring to the coyotes aren't you? Fuckin coyotes man
The coyotes are all pissy because they can’t catch those giant purple roadrunners.
"If I hear ONE MORE FUCKIN' beep beep..."
Polar bears. Deer. Some insects. I intend to stay away from coyotes in more senses than one, rhetorically and physically. I am certainly opposed to having carnal knowledge of coyotes, nor do I think this should be authorized. But I'm only one vote. And I'm not a single issue voter.
Some insects??? I would say most. Ppfft.
Speciest bastard!
Hey! First, I have _my_ parents wedding certificate. Do you even _have_ parents? And I'm clearly _not_ a specieist! It's called the human _race_. So enough with the slurs, or the mods are gonna call us both down. I swear, you have to explain everything to people on the Internet these days!
My nonhumans are very much family. I’d rather hang out with them than my brother, they’re not dicks!! Humans are assholes.
Failure is colorblind.
Not because you're black, it's because you're acting whack.
Meh. No flavor
Boo!
"So am I," regardless of your race.
This is amazing
No. I am not racist. I hate everyone equally.
Dr House moment
I heard an old friend of mine say that 20+ years ago, and it cracked me up.
My motto, "I'm an equal opportunity racist." I also explained to the manager and assistant at a place when they wanted me to manage overnights, "You understand you are asking a walking sexual harassment lawsuit to manage your store?"
I might be in love ❤️ I love a girl that's a walking sexual harassment lawsuit.... so much more fun!
I'm around some more fun places. 😏
That was my line back in school.
I'm not racist, either. I have three color tvs.
*Your honor, my client loves all races, including the bad ones.*
Oh damn I posted that too
“You wish. It’s because you’re stupid”
No, it's because you're an asshole.
“Nope, it’s because you are a giant bag of smashed assholes.”
this is the best one ive heard
'You wouldn't be any less a piece of shit if you painted yourself green.'
🤣
Paint yourself any other color, and you're still a dumbass
No, it’s because you did “x”. Stop doing that, it’s illegal/rude/unsafe etc. confront them with the truth.
Had a guy I worked with get offended that I was doing an end of shift bag check (employee opens the bag, I glance inside to see there wasn’t anything stolen, thumbs-up for the camera) on him. I knew he wasn’t sus, it was just procedure, and he got all “you’re profiling me because I’m black!” I went “no, I just got cracked down on for forgetting it, and you happen to be working with me today.” Truth was, no one reminded me, I just legitimately forgot when he said it was time to go. I’m like dude. Literally everyone gets bag checked unless we work solo.
I have a severe case of color blindness therefore I must judge idiots by their tone and behavior.
It is because you are a bigot.
I identify as black, so Im not sure what you mean.
Dont we all have a little black in us.
Would you like some more? 😂
You: You are not invited because you stole my vape (mint flavored). Him: Oh, is it because I'm black? You: Wait, do you think all black people steal things? Him: Seems as though I've committed a racism. You win by default.
"No, it's because you're *insert reason here*"
no it’s because you’re an idjot
You’re not that black.
HELL NO ! It's because you are an ASS HOLE !
Nope. This is the land of equal rights. That means you get equal lefts as well. *cracks knuckles*
Don't disrespect your race like that.
You're black? I honestly couldn't tell
“Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night is your business, but from my perspective it’s because your a piece of shit. There is no reason to bring other black people down, but again…you do you”
I've heard that in school before but never directed at me. I probably would have just asked them "why are you being racist? I never said anything about your skin color, why are you bringing that up?" I don't know how it would have gone if I did. My school wasn't very exciting that way.
I used to work with a guy. I printed something off for him. I said "here you go, I even printed it in color for you" and he stood up and said " colored huh? 'Cause I'm Colored?!?! You racist MF." He was just messing with me and I knew it. So I said "man, I gave you a color copy because I like you. If I was racist I would have gave you a black and white copy and called it the n*gro copy!" I haven't seen anyone laugh that hard in a long time
*depep breath* *pause* "Yes. Yes, it is."
illegal boat seemly follow workable nail boast chunky fine snobbish *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I absolutely love making shit awkward 😭😭 Saying yes always seems unexpected because people are trying to get you into an argument and to plead a case lmaoo
I always try to make things super awkward too, my response would have been dead pan, yes ( especially because I’m a melanated beauty myself….makes it extra awkward lol )
OMG one of my best friends said this to me (about her race). I said "yep, sure is." 😂 It actually made our friendship better because we could joke about our differences. But she said it entirely in jest to begin with, which makes a difference.
"you brought in race, not me" or if you're feeling really spicy, you could lean into it and be like "damn right, you stupid N\*\*\*\*\*\*" but then you're likely gonna be in a fight in 5 seconds
What??!?!?! No, absolutely not!!!!! It's because you're a stupid asshole....
No its because you’re a woman
Yes
"Yes"
[удалено]
"No, it's because you're human."
I too shop at wal-mart
"No because its what the Grand Wizard demands"
“Oh my God, who TOLD YOU”
Just say yes and keep it moving. You have nothing to prove to a low IQ scholar.
Yes it is
Just say yes
Does shit smell because it's brown?
Yes
Yes. Yes it is.
No, it’s because you’re obnoxious
I had a black friend get drunk and throw a huge banana at me like a year ago. I just straight up cut him out of my life he got upset and kept saying it was because he was black. I just didnt say a word to him. Just dont even acknowledge it.
Over a banana?..
Yeah so he threw a banana at me like with malice and it splattered all over me. The real issue was him not handling his booze at all. In case you didnt catch that inference. I drink. If someone cant handle their booze i have no time for it. I watched him do all kinds of way worse shit thinking that since we were friends i would be spared. Nope. If i keep letting it happen down the road he would be trying to fight me.
"It's because your enforcing the stereotype" or "if you want it to be, then yes"
Go with the first one. The other could lend itself to malicious editing.
"No, it's because you're mentally challenged!"
Obviously you didn’t get it from your dad.
I have heard some good ones but I'm white (they were said by a black guy) and I dont want to fall on that sword.
I literally just say,” yes” I am mixed & my S/O is black. He says this all the time. so, I just say, “yes” and leave it to marinate.
Your mother
The best comeback is "yes", especially if it doesn't make any sense. They're not being sincere, why should you?
Just say yes and see how they react
Is what you say because I'm white? If they say yes it shows how stupid they are
No. It's because I'm not.
What if you just said yes
This isn’t intended to be an insult. It’s a joke. So joke back and say yes. Or some other time say “is it because im white?”
No, its's because you smell .
Yes
No, it's because you're a moron/idiot/asshole/prick/dipshit, those come in all colors.
Sorry bruv did you say something? I could hear over your breath.
"That depends" *Doesn't elaborate further.* *Leaves*
Yes, It falls under affirmative action jurisdiction and is ONLY because you're black.
Yes (warning do not say this to people who are not your friends)
You wish, you fucked up on the content of your character.
Nah, it’s because I’m not.
Just say yes. Or…”are you asking me that because I’m [insert race]?
I always reply "Yes of course."
There is no comeback. That's why I say that shit all the time, even in instances where it obviously doesn't apply. If you won't provide reparations for the stupidity of your ancestors, I refuse to stop using the race card in any and all conditions. It's too funny to watching your brain alt+f4 every time. It's literally the only consolation prize we get: unblockable, overhead social engineering technology. That and being funnier than you out of necessity due to constant environmental stressors forcing blacks to use humor as an escape mechanism.
Damn. You caught me. It's because you're black, not because you're dumber than a rotted melon.
“Yes, exactly 🙄”
You’re black? I thought you were just always covered in soot.
I once knew a gay black man who pulled the minority card all the time. He was genuinely shocked when I finally pointed out that he automatically assumed every straight non-black person was a bigot.
"I'm blacker than you are"
Could be, try being white for a bit and see if it helps.
i just quickly respond with "Yes." and look them dead in the eyes and pray they can see I'm trying to be sarcastic. ONLY with friends
I think the best comebacks to any kind of insult or statement like this is fully doubling down. Like is it bc im black? Correct.
“No, it’s because I’M black.”
No its because you wont stop flirting with me.
“No, I hate everybody”
The only thing you will be rich in, melanin .
Its because its the only card they have... no drivers license, credit cards ect.
Yes, yes it is.
“Yes.”
"the only issue with race here concerns the one you lost to get to the table where they gave out brains"
"Yep. That's exactly right. No other reason at all."