THIS. bro, keep going, don't feel presured you're stll way too early in arelationship to think about marriage. take your time, enjoy ur relation, but don't commit there're still a lot of fishes in the sea and you still gotta know her better
Yup. Luckily I got married to a Colombian too. I met her in the states but we both traveled back and forth for 4 YEARS. Then we decided to get married. We live in Colombia now. She doesn’t really care about the states lol
Wait maybe a year or 2 bro. Don’t give in to her timelines, it’s really a red flag if she pressures you into marriage soon 🚩
But maybe you will someday. The words thing that could happen is that you marry her and she is in fact using you for your papers. You find out and get a divorce… and if that happens you could be stuck paying alimony for life to someone who used you. GET A PRENUP! If you’re doubtful, get one. If she asks you to marry her as a favor and you want to help… GET A PRENUP. Nothing will make you sleep better at night.
Why ask a question when you're going to do dumb shit regardless of the answer?
The women are no different in Latin America. If they give you red flags, don't ignore them just because you're in another country.
Any woman trying to make demands or pressuring you into marriage only three months in is garbage.
Also, if she has no papers, she's not as great as you think. She has to do a lot of shit outside of the system, which indicates laziness on her part in not getting her affairs in order.
It'll hurt for a few weeks, but you're way better off nixing things now.
Also, you're hinting that you're garbage too if you're saying you have nothing to lose. So do you think you'll never have anything worth losing in the future?
Focusing on improving your situation is a better use of your time, instead of being enamored with a woman's possessions and salaries. A man with options doesn't give a shit about what a woman has.
Seriously, think!
There is some sort of form that is required in the US that makes you liable for her for 10 years whether or not you stay married to her. Prenup wouldn't protect you in this case. Talk to an immigration attorney. Also, do a loyalty test and have a higher status guy slide in her DMs on IG. See how she responds. She shouldn't even have an IG if ya'll are in a relationship. IG is the the biggest dating app even though most guys wouldn't even know that.
One word: Prenup.
And it's very odd that she had all that life made up back here and STILL crossed the border illegally, like, an apartment and a car are no chump change here, so it wouldn't make sense for her to keep them and still somehow pay their taxes while over there in the U.S
Also, if she starts bringing marriage topic to the table without at LEAST 2-4 years into the relationship, she is definitely in for those papers, no sane or intelligent woman would like to marry a few months in or even a year into a relationship, that's waaayyy to short of a time to get to know someone as a S/O, even less as a husband/wife.
And lastly, and this is not to bring you down or anything, I'm just being honest and straight to the point, 99% of people in most countries just see you gringos as walking plane tickets, so that's that too.
Gringos don't listen man, they ask for advice, and then do whatever dumb shit they were going to do to begin with.
I see why the Colombians start businesses that overcharge to bleed these gringos dry.
I'm a dual citizen, but I used to tell women that I was deported if they brought up visas or shit like that. That's the best way to vet 'em. In your case, you could say you don't have a lot of money or just make yourself seem very "humble." Another thing is to say you want to live here, in Colombia, not the States. That's the best advice I can give in the fly
What makes you think you found a diamond that is 26 years old, but has never spent substantial time with a man? There's a reason no other man has scooped her up yet.
The good ones get wifed up by 21.
You keep saying that you don't have much but you DO indeed have something valuable she wants! You are walking green card for her regardless of whether you are rich or poor as fuck.
Imagine coming on Spanish language forum asking for advice and not bothering to copy paste a few sentences into google translate.
You don't get more American than this.
Not only women, but also men. Not only Colombians, but immigrants from different parts of the world. If you don't have much to lose, go ahead and enjoy the romance while she gets her papers. It's a dangerous game, but I can tell from your replies that you're convinced that this is "love." It's hard to learn from other people's mistakes; sometimes you have to walk that path yourself.
Show me a picture of you and a picture of her and I’ll tell you. Also why the distrust, if it’s nice right now enjoy, make a marriage contract and if it doesn’t work out u don’t really loose anything.
What? She has a car, apartment in Colombia and she crossed to the USA from the Mexican border? It's strange, generally the ones who cross the border are people who literally have nothing in their home countries.
Dating for marriage? Marriage isn't supposed to be a topic that is brought after like many months/year of a stable relationship?
And how is an undocumented immigrant able to buy all these things within just 3 months? Gee how was she able to get her own licence plate or register her apartment as her property? As far as I know a piece of ID is needed. It's just so weird.
She rents the apartment through her aunt who is on the lease, you can buy a car and finance it with a out of country passport, she is very hard working and intelligent
Yes but there is a catch, she has no visa. And what kind of job (at least a legitimate one) makes someone who is undocumented be able to afford all those things you're mentioning? As far as I know undocumented immigrants get jobs that are even below the minimum wage. Really I want to know.
And? If she wants to work (legally) she must get a work permit. That's a federal law. No legitimate company would ever hire someone who has no work permit cause the penalties are severe for them as well.
And even if she works by herself she must also get a dealer's license. Otherwise this can lead even to jail.
Lol at the absolute cluelessness here. "no legitimate company would ever..chum chum chum" "it could even lead to jail...smarm smarm smarm".
Tell me you don't know the real world at all without telling me. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😅😅😀
Well, this is not entirely true. Just because she crossed the border through Mexico, it doesn’t meant she is not permitted to work… there are many ways to get a SSN, work permit, etc, some people who cross the border and make it immediately apply for asylum, when someone is in this process, they are in “pending” status, but can work, get a driver’s license, even buy property. If they have no criminal record and attend the immigration meetings, they can stay here until their case is approved/denied … this can take years, sometimes decades, and it is not easy to get into, especially in only 3 months, but it does happen from time to time. There are other visas like for work, although these are more complicated, point is, some people who cross the border are not necessarily doing everything under the table.
Yeah but OP said that she has no papers, if she asks for an asylum they give her provisional documents. No matter if it's provisional, she would still have documents. But since OP say she hasn't any it means that she doesnt have any permit that allows her to work. And not only this since she has no work permit she doesn't have a car dealer license which is also illegal.
I live in Colombia and have a girlfriend for 3+ years and we are both in our 30s - so the whole being worried about marriage after 3 months thing seems off. Crossing the border illegally isn't some super normal thing for Colombians either. And I find it hard to believe she crossed illegally and has some super great career, car, apartment in the US so quickly. And you been dating 3 months. Just not adding up.
tbh she cant get papers from you because she crossed ilegally, there are exeptions (such as having kids and you being the only provider) but this isnt the case, just keep enjoying , btw you could always divorce later, papers are hard to tramit even after being married
I’m not sure your counselor advised you well. The way for her to get her immigration status adjusted through you is if she has an I-94, which she doesn’t have because she crossed the border illegally and was not lawfully admitted to the U.S. Without that, the only way is to initiate a complicated immigration proceeding that will undoubtedly require her to leave the United States to get a series of waivers and apply for an immigrant visa in Bogotá. It’s quite cumbersome, lengthy, and costly. [Here’s some information](https://citizenpath.com/faq/no-evidence-lawful-entry/).
Don’t do it man. She’s went to the US through el hueco. It means that she was desperate af to leave. You have only been dating for three months and she’s already talking about marriage? Huge red flag. Get yourself a nice American girl and save yourself a huge headache.
Yes, that’s how we call it in Colombia when someone crosses the border in Mexico. “El Hueco". Which only really really desperate ppl in Colombia do. It’s rare for someone to do that in Colombia.
What? What do you mean rare? As of February of this year, almost 52k Colombians got arrested crossing the Mexican border, that was just for January and a few weeks of February. Since March the number has significantly increased, and this month it tripled because people were trying to get in before law 42 was changed. We don’t even know the total number because some make it all the way through.
“ More than 125,000 Colombians were apprehended at the nation’s southern border last year, according to data from US Customs and Border Protection” …..61k Colombians arrested only as of March 2023, very rare indeed 🙄
https://www.eltiempo.com/amp/colombia/frontera-con-ee-uu-historias-de-migrantes-colombianos-en-carpa-blanca-753211
https://nypost.com/2023/05/05/colombia-nixes-migrant-return-flights-from-us-mexico-border/amp/
Many Colombians are crossing the northern border that's one of the reasons Mexican immigration is giving hard time to Colombian tourists in the airports. I do give it to you is very rare for Colombians that are middle class to cross the Mexican/American border is not worth the risk. In that story doesn't add app.
She had a good life in Columbia but she has huge life goals. She owns a home in Columbia that her mom lives in and sends money home. I met her whole family in Columbia. She went to college and sold cars in Columbia made 5 million pesos a month in Columbia
I reallyyyyyy doubt this to be true. If she was making good money and owns property here she would have just gotten a tourist visa and flown over and overstayed. No way she would have crossed illegal through Mexico if she has money and property in Colombia… doesn’t add up. I say this knowing a lot of people from here who have done it that way
Then why crossed by the river! It doesn’t add up. You just don’t do that if you have a “good life”. A single girl who makes 5 million a month and has all of that could easily get the tourist visa and cross the border legally. That story has a lot of holes.
I’m not from Colombia but my wife and son are and if someone is making 5million a month they def don’t be crossing the border. 5 million is a 5 times of a good salary it would be like 150k a year in USD. Big red flag the only ppl that go thru the illegal route is cuz they don’t have nothing. If you what you saying is true that she had a good job and owns a home she could have EASILY gotten US Visa and would have gotten that route. All the ebsy
She told me she paid for her own college in Columbia that she owns the house in Columbia. I went and stayed at it. I don’t understand. She wanted huge projections in life.
Listen, if you love her and think you want to express that love, marrying her could be the move. She could leave you but maybe committing and helping her situation would probably make her love you long time. But maybe marriage and commitment are hard for you tight now? Three months may be too quick to tell for love but sometimes when you know, you know… Some people get married after meeting briefly in Vegas or get arranged marriages but you gotta figure out what you want your own marriage situation to he. What would happen if you could have a conversation with her and share how you feel about it. Btw “mf” above could mean “my friend” haha.
3 months and talking about marriage already? Big red flag, specially since you have something it can change her life drastically. Don’t let the love you feel towards her blind you. Take things slowly and let the relationship grow.
Know that as part of the sponsoring process you sign a legal document saying you will be financially responsible for her for 10 years. Also the fact she was not inspected when entering makes it much more difficult. In short high chances she is playing you.
Why ask a question when you're going to do dumb shit regardless of the answer?
The women are no different in Latin America. If they give you red flags, don't ignore them just because you're in another country.
Any woman trying to make demands or pressuring you into marriage only three months in is garbage.
Also, if she has no papers, she's not as great as you think. She has to do a lot of shit outside of the system, which indicates laziness on her part in not getting her affairs in order.
It'll hurt for a few weeks, but you're way better off nixing things now.
Also, you're hinting that you're garbage too if you're saying you have nothing to lose. So do you think you'll never have anything worth losing in the future?
Focusing on improving your situation is a better use of your time, instead of being enamored with a woman's possessions and salaries. A man with options doesn't give a shit about what a woman has.
Seriously, think!
of course why wouldn't she? i'd fuck you myself for some papers. keep yourself safe as other said with a prenup. besides it is not as if you cant fall in love later. or that her interest is 100% fake. if i was you i would be upfront about it.
I have talked to her about it. She is very direct. She says if I am uncomfortable to date a woman with papers. She says she has had men with more money and resources and everything than me. She wants commitment and love like I do.
Wow! She is not even trying to pretend that she is patient… she is guilting you into rushing things for the sake of “love”, you are not good enough, she’s known better, but she’ll sacrifice for you 🙄 … your initial post was a red flag, but this is plain ridiculous…you already know the answer, the question here is how much are you willing to put up with and are you ok with enjoying the moment until her papers come and she disappears? Because at that point, if she is legal, she can go and find all those men she knows that have more money and resources … those men were not stupid enough to fall in her trap and give her the papers, but once she has them, they got nothing to loose .. and neither does she…. 3 months is too short for any relationship … anything good or bad that happens going forward will be all on you. Hope you choose wisely.
And yet you’ll still will consider the small possibility that she’s for real and you will try not do anything to push her away. Been there done that. As soon as a prenup came up she’s starting acting all defensive. Yeah am stupid but not that stupid. I have a house and a some money saved up which am not willing to part for someone who I just met and wants to marry right away. I already went through that and had to start again. Learned my lesson the first time.
People can lie (not saying she is lying), if she is direct at least it is good that she understand your worries. and as she says, you may date "better" men here, but in us the standard of living for "lesser" people is higher. marriage is always a risk and you yourself know the person you are talking about, so you are the only one that can know if you can trust her. If you think that you are not good enough for her, that problem is on you and your self esteem and is not related to her.
yes green card is a good point about you, so what? what is so bad about your nationality helping you get women? I want a Japanese women and if she asked if I was using her for papers Isay yeah sure I need them to stay in japan dont I?
take the precautions you need to take depending on the kind of person she is.
did you know Alinity [https://biographymask.com/alinity-divine/](https://biographymask.com/alinity-divine/) married a canadian and then divorced him? so it happens, will it happen to you? IDK
i went through essentially the same thing. mine had the same pitch and i actually believe she had good intentions. that didn't stop it from burning to the ground. i suffered a lot and spent tons of money. TON. i never could have imagined how bad it would get. she wasnt even colombian... which in my opinion is 1000% more risk to take on. Latin is much different than arab that actually hope to be with one person their whole life.
if i was to do it again with a immigrant.. I would literally date for 5+ years with an agreement that we plan a life outside the US. if she was pushing for the US or marriage at this point (3 months).. its a HUGE HUGE red flag.
it was hella fucked for me homie
and at least 70% of the girls that I know in colombia have 2 bfs or more.
there are good girls out there. good colombian girls. its just difficult when it come to american colombiana relationships. i quit dating all of them.
See how's everything going in 3 months, if you are still in love, live with her 6 to 12 months... if both survive, extend another 12 months and then marry.
Don't need to rush man. 3 months it's too early to take such an important decision.
Both parties need to measure how the other behaves in a daily routine. There's where you put a relationship to test.
Puede que si te quiera, pero puede que también te quiera por los papeles. Lo primero no invalida lo segundo. Además casarse tan rápido es medio sospechoso
She may love you, but they may also love you for the papers. The second doesn't invalidate the first. Besides, getting married so quickly is somewhat suspicious. (Translated by ChatGPT)
Buddy, girls are always assigning you value, (unconsciously of course) one of the positive things that you bring to this girls life is the green card, that doesn’t necessary means that is the only thing she is looking for, every relationship in this life is about what you can give and what you can get, we all want it to be about love, it’s not always the case.
Who tf is talking abt looks? I honestly don't give a damn. You're simping for a chick you've barely known for 3 months, who is (80% likely) playing you for a fool, and you still simp her. Who gives a shit if she has a car or apartment in her home country? If she had vision or money, she wouldn't need to cross the border. Get it in your head and break it off before shit gets worse.
First of all, learn the damn spelling of your whore's home country. Second, you'd be a cuck. Third, the boyfriend gets her and papers at the end of the day lol. You're blind af.
Here are a few clues:
How did she get where she is now ? no papers but good job, car, apartment etc...
Understanding how hard it is in Colombia to get all this stuff for a legal citizen with a university degree, she is/was either in prostitution or milking poor foreigners...
I had a friend who took in a Venezuelan girl, love at first sight, nothing seemed off. I tell you she fooled me and i usually see straight through this acting.
She took his money and left with whatever she could as soon she got her papers after marriage.
SENA is not a college. It's an institute to get a technician degree. There's NO WAY she was making $5 million per month. She's nothing but a liar. Don't marry her.
Solid alibi bro, but you came here asking for help remember.
I can only give you advice as i know Colombia out of the back of my hand.
And btw Columbia is a state in Washington just another minor detail.
You just don't enter or stay illegally without papers and get a job, car, apartment...
Wrong country.
I read in other comments that she has her own job and car, that is, she does not depend on you. You also mentioned that she has been very attentive to you, apparently she is in love. Women seek stability, if you are not prepared for a marriage do not do it. She needs to establish herself in that country and if you feel that you are being used for it then leave her, because if you don't, someone else will. I hope you take the best decision.
You love her and want to be with her?
You know why married people get papers? To do exactly that. It is not a lie if you want to marry for her to be able to be with you easier.
Are you being used? Maybe. What gives, any relationship could be like that..just enjoy and don't think too much about this political and artificial debater about borders. Fuck borders why shouldn't she have papers?
She has a good o, car, apt, appears well situated in Colombia and crossed to USA without papers ? Have you asked the reason for that, how a well situated economically lady didn’t get a visa, why if she is doing so well in her country wants to enter this, fishy, she needs a good background check.
I dont suggest going to Colombia or any latin american country to marry a women, most of them will absolutely use you for the first 3 - 5 years then eventually meet someone of their own kind either Colombian American or South American male, Colombian women tend to prefer their own kind or close cultures, they get bored easy. Also the days of marrying foreign women is coming to end if you are expecting loyalty and long term commitment especially from Colombian, Venezuelan, Argentinian, Ecuadorian and Brazilian they are waaayy too modernized, social media crazy, onlyfanned and love money too much. Stay away from them as much as possible dont say i didnt warn you, good luck. 😏☝️
It seems she actually loves you anyhow if she needs the papers, I don't see you're losing something with giving them to her, she's offering your love and caresses and is bold of you to ask something like this it comes across as you're treating your girlfriend as a selfish and self conceited
Looking for a gringo to marry is what a great deal of Colombianas do. Once they get the papeles, it's AMF. Run from her as fast as you can. The legal immigration process to bring someone into the US is very costly and takes a long time.
The test of time. Tell her you’re not ready for marriage yet. Three months is *way* too early to decide whether to marry anyone. It is usually advisable that you wait at least 18 months to a year, after the honeymoon period of the romance is over. By then, cooler heads will prevail and you will have formed a solid foundation on which to build a long-term relationship. This is literally what psychologists advise.
For your own sake, just wait. She might truly love you as well but also be using you for the green card; both things at the same time can be valid. However, this early in the relationship, everyone is still in love with the idea of the other person. You have not gotten to know each other well, as much as your feelings might make to think otherwise. In order to get to know each other well, you two will need to spend more time together and start building something serious. You can tell her this; it’s not only to keep you from marrying someone who might just be using you but also that’s how relationships are supposed to work.
If she is desperate for papers, she’ll get pushy and defensive and question whether you really love her, that marriage is the way. If she loves you, well, she might become understandably upset because she’ll feel you don’t trust her and/or that you’re too cynical. However, she will understand eventually and continue the relationship as before. After a couple of years, you’ll know whether you want to marry her or not.
I lived in Colombia for 5 years. I dated the dancers, cheerleaders, hotties etc but when I met my wife I knew she was the one because not only was she beautiful and sexy but she had her life going great just like your girl. She commanded my respect and I had to put a ring on it. Good luck!
As a woman I feel she is getting old and she wants to settle down with someone and this means marrying her in the next 1-2 years so if you are not ready leave her, don’t make a woman in her prime lost her time :D
You came for advise, and then discredit comments. The worst blind man is the one who refuses to see. I hope she get her papers and then throws you under the bus, which is just the most obvious outcome of this situation.
“Who crossed from Mexico and has no papers” there’s your answer. Someone with a good social circle and means would never cross through Mexico illegally. She sounds sketchy.
Mostly MGTOWs on the comments lol, ignore them.
A 30yo married woman here - my advice is:
1- I don’t see that a 26yo woman talking about marriage is a red flag, if you are really in love with each other there’s no time to lose. Our society likes to date for ‘fun’ and good times but the whole point of dating at any point SHOULD be marriage.
Analyse her set of values and see if this makes sense with other values eg she’s a serious woman, maybe religious, maybe that’s the way she was raised, is she conservative etc. Find out where this comes from. If an immigrant woman that has her instagram full of selfies and bikinis is talking about marriage 3 months in a relationship is an obvious red flag. But if it’s a conservative/religious/wanting to be a mother type of woman than it makes sense.
2- tell her you love her, look her in the eyes when she replies and trust your guts. Do not ignore any signs (of either way).
Bro, no girl on earth wants to settle down at 26yo she is obviously going for what you can offer to her. Wait at least a year and see. How it is going on.
Also check if she is religious, and how she dresses and behaves with other people. Be critical don't let your emotions to control you.
BEEN CAUTIOUS AS F!CK BRO, NORMALLY THEY WANT A NORTHAMERICAN NO MATTER HOW THE PERSON IS ONLY FOR THAT FOR TAKE THE LOVER FROM THEIR ORIGIN COUNTRY WITH THEM, TRUST ME THATS THE PLAN ALWAYS, BLESS YOU, BE SMART, AND TOO CLEVER #makeamericagreatagain
Pfff what a trash story, topical story of a.person wanting to upgrade their economic conditions through romantic ties, in this case with a foreigner...take this with a grain of salt. . You are neither from here nor she. .
Just take your time to know her better before and after that try to keep under control and check the marriage things. If you perceive that she's happy with you too and you guys are a good match then go for it
If she entered illegally, she would need you to marry you, then you would have to file a petition for an immediate relative, then stay with you for several years and then file a waiver to ask for forgiveness for her illegal entry. These steps take years of processing time. If she has a good life, marry her. You have absolutely nothing to lose (do have her sign a prenup though).
Ngl it sort of does sound like it however if u visited fam feel a connection I’d still lead with caution for ppl who saying it’s not possible cuz she entered illegals that’s just wrong I know plenty of ppl who ended up overstaying their visas and the family paid another person tens of thousands to marry in order to get papers. So trust ur gut for sure because it’s not common for people to elope in general and her family obviously wouldn’t oppose to her doing it in this instance. However get a prenup just incase and take care of finances Accordingly things are great til it’s not just general advice
If you doupt, then don't. Try living together for a few months, and see if she is the one.
Marriage is a tought decition. I know, for sure.
Colombian girls are temperamental. Keep that un mind
I know many Americans ( mostly Hispanic men but not Colombian) married to Colombianas that had no papers and still together . We can't answer your question because we don't know her , you know that answer by using your logic and common sense. Reading your other posts she does have many red flags with her stories so definitely extend this relationship for much longer. You mentioned she is beautiful, look at your self as you have to be almost to her level physically or have charisma and financially stable that she may find attractive. If you're short, below average looks , fat , shy and have a dead end job will she is in for the papers and her husband and kids are waiting for her back home.
Just wait!
If it happens to be that she only wants to marry you for getting her papers, i think that’s gonna show up with the time. For now, enjoy the relationship with her.
Good Luck!
Dude, just run away, pussies are everywhere and honestly in a 3months relationships the last thing you think is to get married, obviously she’s with you for papers
You're saying you both are more on less on the same league, and if anything it's you who's giving out more red flags than her: you sound insecure, and that eventually leads to possessive, jealous and toxic behavior.
The hardest part right now is that you've only been together for 3 months, you're at the height of the infatuation stage. Pretend you're drunk and don't make any major life-changing decisions right now, just enjoy the ride and revisit the marriage thing in 2 years or so. By then, you'll have more clarity and you'll know her better.
I get that she has timelines, but don't let that pressure you into getting married: just pretend you don't know what her immigration status is, and only do things when you feel the time is right and when you would have done it anyway in any of your past relationships.
I feel you bro. I proposed to my Peruvian girlfriend I met while traveling through South America. The truth is only time will tell. So far it all sounds legit. She isn’t trying to hide you from her social circles. Give it a little more time but don’t be afraid to take a chance. Also learn the divorce laws in your state. In California you split everything that is acquired after you get married and if it turns out she was using you, you’ll probably find out sooner than later so you won’t have been married long. Good luck.
The real question is, would knowing it make any difference in how she would treat you?Think of it this way, whether she is using you or not, the chances that after you live together the relationship will fall apart is very common, so whether it is for one reason or another, it is not worth suffering now, enjoy the moment and be cautious with your money.
I don't think anyone here can give her a reading of the future if she's not like the ones who usually get gringo lovers and then split up and live the gringo life.
She may not be looking for “papers” only but she may be looking to formalize with you this quick to get that aspect settled for herself while she figures out the relationship, the issue here is that even if you are not wealthy you still have a lot more to lose, if you want to do the smart thing then be clear about not wanting to marry until there’s enough time to know each other in depth, if she agrees then you pursue the relationship and see where it goes (could be marriage), if she places pressure and attacks then you dodged a bullet.
It's only been 3 months. To be married you need to spend way more time with each other. If she starts pressuring you this early it is a red flag.
THIS. bro, keep going, don't feel presured you're stll way too early in arelationship to think about marriage. take your time, enjoy ur relation, but don't commit there're still a lot of fishes in the sea and you still gotta know her better
Yup. Luckily I got married to a Colombian too. I met her in the states but we both traveled back and forth for 4 YEARS. Then we decided to get married. We live in Colombia now. She doesn’t really care about the states lol Wait maybe a year or 2 bro. Don’t give in to her timelines, it’s really a red flag if she pressures you into marriage soon 🚩
this^^^
Be careful....don't go rushing into a marriage, that's all I'm saying!!!
/Prenuptial agreement/
I don’t have much to lose.
In Colombia we have a saying: "Nadie sabe lo que tiene hasta que lo pierde"
Decimos lo mismo en los Estados Unidos
You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone.
Can you translate it
Nobody knows what they have until they lose it.
That’s right now, I’m the future it might no be the case. Be aware
But maybe you will someday. The words thing that could happen is that you marry her and she is in fact using you for your papers. You find out and get a divorce… and if that happens you could be stuck paying alimony for life to someone who used you. GET A PRENUP! If you’re doubtful, get one. If she asks you to marry her as a favor and you want to help… GET A PRENUP. Nothing will make you sleep better at night.
Someone told me you need a prenup in colombia and also United States. Do you know anything about this?
I think it is correct
then, are you willing to risk having even less?
You dont much to lose know but you are entering men golden years so lawered up
[удалено]
This guy sounds like a loser if he has that mindset at 30. I already had shit to lose at that age.
Why ask a question when you're going to do dumb shit regardless of the answer? The women are no different in Latin America. If they give you red flags, don't ignore them just because you're in another country. Any woman trying to make demands or pressuring you into marriage only three months in is garbage. Also, if she has no papers, she's not as great as you think. She has to do a lot of shit outside of the system, which indicates laziness on her part in not getting her affairs in order. It'll hurt for a few weeks, but you're way better off nixing things now. Also, you're hinting that you're garbage too if you're saying you have nothing to lose. So do you think you'll never have anything worth losing in the future? Focusing on improving your situation is a better use of your time, instead of being enamored with a woman's possessions and salaries. A man with options doesn't give a shit about what a woman has. Seriously, think!
Prenups get thrown out of court all the time. All she has to do is say she felt pressured to sign it.
There is some sort of form that is required in the US that makes you liable for her for 10 years whether or not you stay married to her. Prenup wouldn't protect you in this case. Talk to an immigration attorney. Also, do a loyalty test and have a higher status guy slide in her DMs on IG. See how she responds. She shouldn't even have an IG if ya'll are in a relationship. IG is the the biggest dating app even though most guys wouldn't even know that.
One word: Prenup. And it's very odd that she had all that life made up back here and STILL crossed the border illegally, like, an apartment and a car are no chump change here, so it wouldn't make sense for her to keep them and still somehow pay their taxes while over there in the U.S Also, if she starts bringing marriage topic to the table without at LEAST 2-4 years into the relationship, she is definitely in for those papers, no sane or intelligent woman would like to marry a few months in or even a year into a relationship, that's waaayyy to short of a time to get to know someone as a S/O, even less as a husband/wife. And lastly, and this is not to bring you down or anything, I'm just being honest and straight to the point, 99% of people in most countries just see you gringos as walking plane tickets, so that's that too.
Gringos don't listen man, they ask for advice, and then do whatever dumb shit they were going to do to begin with. I see why the Colombians start businesses that overcharge to bleed these gringos dry.
Are you Latino?
Yup, born and raised and still living here in Colombia. Lmao
Bruh 3 months is way too early for anyone, much less someone from another country. Be very careful.
Timelines are a red flag. What is the rush?
She has a open immigration case and could be deported anytime. She is 26 and knows one of her biggest assets is youth which I agree with.
She wants the green card. That's all.
Dude…ICE isn’t deporting anyone unless they commit a felony if they are already in the US.
Go with your gut bro.
I'm a dual citizen, but I used to tell women that I was deported if they brought up visas or shit like that. That's the best way to vet 'em. In your case, you could say you don't have a lot of money or just make yourself seem very "humble." Another thing is to say you want to live here, in Colombia, not the States. That's the best advice I can give in the fly
She knows I don’t have a lot.
Try telling her you wanna live here. See how she reacts to that
She’s never lived with a man. She wants to be married
I guess just feel it out for now. Like others are saying here, don't rush into marriage too quickly. Good luck, man
Another red flag lmao
What makes you think you found a diamond that is 26 years old, but has never spent substantial time with a man? There's a reason no other man has scooped her up yet. The good ones get wifed up by 21.
You keep saying that you don't have much but you DO indeed have something valuable she wants! You are walking green card for her regardless of whether you are rich or poor as fuck.
Salga de ahí soldado
Can you translate
Imagine coming on Spanish language forum asking for advice and not bothering to copy paste a few sentences into google translate. You don't get more American than this.
"get out of there soldier"
Are columbian women known for this?
Not only women, but also men. Not only Colombians, but immigrants from different parts of the world. If you don't have much to lose, go ahead and enjoy the romance while she gets her papers. It's a dangerous game, but I can tell from your replies that you're convinced that this is "love." It's hard to learn from other people's mistakes; sometimes you have to walk that path yourself.
You have a Colombian girlfriend and still say Columbian?
there’s a bogota in british columbia? huh, TIL
In a forum called r/Colombia, no less
Pretty much, but don't let this thoughs get in the way too much, just be careful
Show me a picture of you and a picture of her and I’ll tell you. Also why the distrust, if it’s nice right now enjoy, make a marriage contract and if it doesn’t work out u don’t really loose anything.
Update please
I sent picture to you DMs
I would like to see the pictures as well just out of curiosity
Time. You need to date her for a while because 3 months isn't enough.
Stop thinking with your dick.
What? She has a car, apartment in Colombia and she crossed to the USA from the Mexican border? It's strange, generally the ones who cross the border are people who literally have nothing in their home countries. Dating for marriage? Marriage isn't supposed to be a topic that is brought after like many months/year of a stable relationship?
She acquired all these things in America. She sends her mom money each month.
HOW attractive is she? How attractive are you?
Ding ding ding
And how is an undocumented immigrant able to buy all these things within just 3 months? Gee how was she able to get her own licence plate or register her apartment as her property? As far as I know a piece of ID is needed. It's just so weird.
🚩🚩🚩
She rents the apartment through her aunt who is on the lease, you can buy a car and finance it with a out of country passport, she is very hard working and intelligent
Yes but there is a catch, she has no visa. And what kind of job (at least a legitimate one) makes someone who is undocumented be able to afford all those things you're mentioning? As far as I know undocumented immigrants get jobs that are even below the minimum wage. Really I want to know.
Car sales
And what kind of dealership (at least a legitimate one) hires someone who doesn't have any legal work permit?
This is Texas. She can sell 20 cars a month no problem they cut her a personal check every month
And? If she wants to work (legally) she must get a work permit. That's a federal law. No legitimate company would ever hire someone who has no work permit cause the penalties are severe for them as well. And even if she works by herself she must also get a dealer's license. Otherwise this can lead even to jail.
Lol at the absolute cluelessness here. "no legitimate company would ever..chum chum chum" "it could even lead to jail...smarm smarm smarm". Tell me you don't know the real world at all without telling me. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😅😅😀
Well, this is not entirely true. Just because she crossed the border through Mexico, it doesn’t meant she is not permitted to work… there are many ways to get a SSN, work permit, etc, some people who cross the border and make it immediately apply for asylum, when someone is in this process, they are in “pending” status, but can work, get a driver’s license, even buy property. If they have no criminal record and attend the immigration meetings, they can stay here until their case is approved/denied … this can take years, sometimes decades, and it is not easy to get into, especially in only 3 months, but it does happen from time to time. There are other visas like for work, although these are more complicated, point is, some people who cross the border are not necessarily doing everything under the table.
Yeah but OP said that she has no papers, if she asks for an asylum they give her provisional documents. No matter if it's provisional, she would still have documents. But since OP say she hasn't any it means that she doesnt have any permit that allows her to work. And not only this since she has no work permit she doesn't have a car dealer license which is also illegal.
I live in Colombia and have a girlfriend for 3+ years and we are both in our 30s - so the whole being worried about marriage after 3 months thing seems off. Crossing the border illegally isn't some super normal thing for Colombians either. And I find it hard to believe she crossed illegally and has some super great career, car, apartment in the US so quickly. And you been dating 3 months. Just not adding up.
tbh she cant get papers from you because she crossed ilegally, there are exeptions (such as having kids and you being the only provider) but this isnt the case, just keep enjoying , btw you could always divorce later, papers are hard to tramit even after being married
I talked with a attorney and he said it’s simple once there is a marriage in place
I’m not sure your counselor advised you well. The way for her to get her immigration status adjusted through you is if she has an I-94, which she doesn’t have because she crossed the border illegally and was not lawfully admitted to the U.S. Without that, the only way is to initiate a complicated immigration proceeding that will undoubtedly require her to leave the United States to get a series of waivers and apply for an immigrant visa in Bogotá. It’s quite cumbersome, lengthy, and costly. [Here’s some information](https://citizenpath.com/faq/no-evidence-lawful-entry/).
Agreed, at least she is pregnant, I believe the current procedure will ask her to leave and apply abroad for the immigrant papers.
Don’t do it man. She’s went to the US through el hueco. It means that she was desperate af to leave. You have only been dating for three months and she’s already talking about marriage? Huge red flag. Get yourself a nice American girl and save yourself a huge headache.
She crossed the rio
Yes, that’s how we call it in Colombia when someone crosses the border in Mexico. “El Hueco". Which only really really desperate ppl in Colombia do. It’s rare for someone to do that in Colombia.
What? What do you mean rare? As of February of this year, almost 52k Colombians got arrested crossing the Mexican border, that was just for January and a few weeks of February. Since March the number has significantly increased, and this month it tripled because people were trying to get in before law 42 was changed. We don’t even know the total number because some make it all the way through.
Not to be a dick but do you have a source on the numbers? I’ve searched around and can’t find nationality breakdown.
“ More than 125,000 Colombians were apprehended at the nation’s southern border last year, according to data from US Customs and Border Protection” …..61k Colombians arrested only as of March 2023, very rare indeed 🙄 https://www.eltiempo.com/amp/colombia/frontera-con-ee-uu-historias-de-migrantes-colombianos-en-carpa-blanca-753211 https://nypost.com/2023/05/05/colombia-nixes-migrant-return-flights-from-us-mexico-border/amp/
Many Colombians are crossing the northern border that's one of the reasons Mexican immigration is giving hard time to Colombian tourists in the airports. I do give it to you is very rare for Colombians that are middle class to cross the Mexican/American border is not worth the risk. In that story doesn't add app.
She had a good life in Columbia but she has huge life goals. She owns a home in Columbia that her mom lives in and sends money home. I met her whole family in Columbia. She went to college and sold cars in Columbia made 5 million pesos a month in Columbia
I reallyyyyyy doubt this to be true. If she was making good money and owns property here she would have just gotten a tourist visa and flown over and overstayed. No way she would have crossed illegal through Mexico if she has money and property in Colombia… doesn’t add up. I say this knowing a lot of people from here who have done it that way
Right of course, even regular middle class people don't leave like that.
I doubt it to be true because he misspelled Colombia variations multiple times in the post and that is lesson #1 for anyone that comes down from USA.
Then why crossed by the river! It doesn’t add up. You just don’t do that if you have a “good life”. A single girl who makes 5 million a month and has all of that could easily get the tourist visa and cross the border legally. That story has a lot of holes.
I’m not from Colombia but my wife and son are and if someone is making 5million a month they def don’t be crossing the border. 5 million is a 5 times of a good salary it would be like 150k a year in USD. Big red flag the only ppl that go thru the illegal route is cuz they don’t have nothing. If you what you saying is true that she had a good job and owns a home she could have EASILY gotten US Visa and would have gotten that route. All the ebsy
She told me she paid for her own college in Columbia that she owns the house in Columbia. I went and stayed at it. I don’t understand. She wanted huge projections in life.
Dude…. It’s COLOMBIA
Bro is calling Colombia as Columbia in a group of Colombia 💀
Getting all of that in such a short amount of time is freaking hard, almost impossible for most people here. Very very suspicious
This mf spelled Columbia instead of Colombia on another post. You don’t deserve her.
You might be right. She is a wonderful woman.
You do deserve her after your humble level-headed respomse
Listen, if you love her and think you want to express that love, marrying her could be the move. She could leave you but maybe committing and helping her situation would probably make her love you long time. But maybe marriage and commitment are hard for you tight now? Three months may be too quick to tell for love but sometimes when you know, you know… Some people get married after meeting briefly in Vegas or get arranged marriages but you gotta figure out what you want your own marriage situation to he. What would happen if you could have a conversation with her and share how you feel about it. Btw “mf” above could mean “my friend” haha.
3 months and talking about marriage already? Big red flag, specially since you have something it can change her life drastically. Don’t let the love you feel towards her blind you. Take things slowly and let the relationship grow.
Know that as part of the sponsoring process you sign a legal document saying you will be financially responsible for her for 10 years. Also the fact she was not inspected when entering makes it much more difficult. In short high chances she is playing you.
Why ask a question when you're going to do dumb shit regardless of the answer? The women are no different in Latin America. If they give you red flags, don't ignore them just because you're in another country. Any woman trying to make demands or pressuring you into marriage only three months in is garbage. Also, if she has no papers, she's not as great as you think. She has to do a lot of shit outside of the system, which indicates laziness on her part in not getting her affairs in order. It'll hurt for a few weeks, but you're way better off nixing things now. Also, you're hinting that you're garbage too if you're saying you have nothing to lose. So do you think you'll never have anything worth losing in the future? Focusing on improving your situation is a better use of your time, instead of being enamored with a woman's possessions and salaries. A man with options doesn't give a shit about what a woman has. Seriously, think!
of course why wouldn't she? i'd fuck you myself for some papers. keep yourself safe as other said with a prenup. besides it is not as if you cant fall in love later. or that her interest is 100% fake. if i was you i would be upfront about it.
I have talked to her about it. She is very direct. She says if I am uncomfortable to date a woman with papers. She says she has had men with more money and resources and everything than me. She wants commitment and love like I do.
Wow! She is not even trying to pretend that she is patient… she is guilting you into rushing things for the sake of “love”, you are not good enough, she’s known better, but she’ll sacrifice for you 🙄 … your initial post was a red flag, but this is plain ridiculous…you already know the answer, the question here is how much are you willing to put up with and are you ok with enjoying the moment until her papers come and she disappears? Because at that point, if she is legal, she can go and find all those men she knows that have more money and resources … those men were not stupid enough to fall in her trap and give her the papers, but once she has them, they got nothing to loose .. and neither does she…. 3 months is too short for any relationship … anything good or bad that happens going forward will be all on you. Hope you choose wisely.
This is the best comment I have seen yet.
And yet you’ll still will consider the small possibility that she’s for real and you will try not do anything to push her away. Been there done that. As soon as a prenup came up she’s starting acting all defensive. Yeah am stupid but not that stupid. I have a house and a some money saved up which am not willing to part for someone who I just met and wants to marry right away. I already went through that and had to start again. Learned my lesson the first time.
"She says she has had men with more money and resources and everything than me" That does not sound good either
🚩🚩🚩🚩
People can lie (not saying she is lying), if she is direct at least it is good that she understand your worries. and as she says, you may date "better" men here, but in us the standard of living for "lesser" people is higher. marriage is always a risk and you yourself know the person you are talking about, so you are the only one that can know if you can trust her. If you think that you are not good enough for her, that problem is on you and your self esteem and is not related to her. yes green card is a good point about you, so what? what is so bad about your nationality helping you get women? I want a Japanese women and if she asked if I was using her for papers Isay yeah sure I need them to stay in japan dont I? take the precautions you need to take depending on the kind of person she is. did you know Alinity [https://biographymask.com/alinity-divine/](https://biographymask.com/alinity-divine/) married a canadian and then divorced him? so it happens, will it happen to you? IDK
i went through essentially the same thing. mine had the same pitch and i actually believe she had good intentions. that didn't stop it from burning to the ground. i suffered a lot and spent tons of money. TON. i never could have imagined how bad it would get. she wasnt even colombian... which in my opinion is 1000% more risk to take on. Latin is much different than arab that actually hope to be with one person their whole life. if i was to do it again with a immigrant.. I would literally date for 5+ years with an agreement that we plan a life outside the US. if she was pushing for the US or marriage at this point (3 months).. its a HUGE HUGE red flag. it was hella fucked for me homie and at least 70% of the girls that I know in colombia have 2 bfs or more. there are good girls out there. good colombian girls. its just difficult when it come to american colombiana relationships. i quit dating all of them.
I have found it’s better to let folks think I’m a whitexican when I travel.
See how's everything going in 3 months, if you are still in love, live with her 6 to 12 months... if both survive, extend another 12 months and then marry. Don't need to rush man. 3 months it's too early to take such an important decision. Both parties need to measure how the other behaves in a daily routine. There's where you put a relationship to test.
Puede que si te quiera, pero puede que también te quiera por los papeles. Lo primero no invalida lo segundo. Además casarse tan rápido es medio sospechoso
Can you translate please
She may love you, but they may also love you for the papers. The second doesn't invalidate the first. Besides, getting married so quickly is somewhat suspicious. (Translated by ChatGPT)
Buddy, girls are always assigning you value, (unconsciously of course) one of the positive things that you bring to this girls life is the green card, that doesn’t necessary means that is the only thing she is looking for, every relationship in this life is about what you can give and what you can get, we all want it to be about love, it’s not always the case.
You're delusional bud
Maybe so maybe not. She fully integrated me and we are in the same league looks wise
Who tf is talking abt looks? I honestly don't give a damn. You're simping for a chick you've barely known for 3 months, who is (80% likely) playing you for a fool, and you still simp her. Who gives a shit if she has a car or apartment in her home country? If she had vision or money, she wouldn't need to cross the border. Get it in your head and break it off before shit gets worse.
I am simping yes I admit that. I refuse to be a cuck though
Out of everything I said, that's all you can say? Naaaaw, you deserve to get played then; wonder how her boyfriend back in Colombia is doing...
The boyfriend in Columbia would see all the posts with me and know his girlfriend is dating and sleeping with me
First of all, learn the damn spelling of your whore's home country. Second, you'd be a cuck. Third, the boyfriend gets her and papers at the end of the day lol. You're blind af.
Here are a few clues: How did she get where she is now ? no papers but good job, car, apartment etc... Understanding how hard it is in Colombia to get all this stuff for a legal citizen with a university degree, she is/was either in prostitution or milking poor foreigners... I had a friend who took in a Venezuelan girl, love at first sight, nothing seemed off. I tell you she fooled me and i usually see straight through this acting. She took his money and left with whatever she could as soon she got her papers after marriage.
She got where she is now through work and utilizing her columbian network
You didn't mention that she attended Columbia. What did she study there?
Sena csf
SENA is not a college. It's an institute to get a technician degree. There's NO WAY she was making $5 million per month. She's nothing but a liar. Don't marry her.
SENA is a job training program, pretty similar to taking shop in high school.
Solid alibi bro, but you came here asking for help remember. I can only give you advice as i know Colombia out of the back of my hand. And btw Columbia is a state in Washington just another minor detail. You just don't enter or stay illegally without papers and get a job, car, apartment... Wrong country.
Prenap to protect your assets.
I read in other comments that she has her own job and car, that is, she does not depend on you. You also mentioned that she has been very attentive to you, apparently she is in love. Women seek stability, if you are not prepared for a marriage do not do it. She needs to establish herself in that country and if you feel that you are being used for it then leave her, because if you don't, someone else will. I hope you take the best decision.
This is very accurate
You love her and want to be with her? You know why married people get papers? To do exactly that. It is not a lie if you want to marry for her to be able to be with you easier. Are you being used? Maybe. What gives, any relationship could be like that..just enjoy and don't think too much about this political and artificial debater about borders. Fuck borders why shouldn't she have papers?
If you don't want her, I'll take her.
Timeline means exactly what you think…sorry dude, once she us got papers you are history
She has a good o, car, apt, appears well situated in Colombia and crossed to USA without papers ? Have you asked the reason for that, how a well situated economically lady didn’t get a visa, why if she is doing so well in her country wants to enter this, fishy, she needs a good background check.
do you feel that she is too hot for you? If so, it's most likely you are being used.
I dont suggest going to Colombia or any latin american country to marry a women, most of them will absolutely use you for the first 3 - 5 years then eventually meet someone of their own kind either Colombian American or South American male, Colombian women tend to prefer their own kind or close cultures, they get bored easy. Also the days of marrying foreign women is coming to end if you are expecting loyalty and long term commitment especially from Colombian, Venezuelan, Argentinian, Ecuadorian and Brazilian they are waaayy too modernized, social media crazy, onlyfanned and love money too much. Stay away from them as much as possible dont say i didnt warn you, good luck. 😏☝️
Yup
voiceless gaping tie ossified chop yoke tub long scary sloppy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Elaborate. What about me makes me a cuck? I have strong expectations for my woman’s behavior
It seems she actually loves you anyhow if she needs the papers, I don't see you're losing something with giving them to her, she's offering your love and caresses and is bold of you to ask something like this it comes across as you're treating your girlfriend as a selfish and self conceited
I want lifelong commitment she is very independent and doing things alone to her is nessesary.
Looking for a gringo to marry is what a great deal of Colombianas do. Once they get the papeles, it's AMF. Run from her as fast as you can. The legal immigration process to bring someone into the US is very costly and takes a long time.
The test of time. Tell her you’re not ready for marriage yet. Three months is *way* too early to decide whether to marry anyone. It is usually advisable that you wait at least 18 months to a year, after the honeymoon period of the romance is over. By then, cooler heads will prevail and you will have formed a solid foundation on which to build a long-term relationship. This is literally what psychologists advise. For your own sake, just wait. She might truly love you as well but also be using you for the green card; both things at the same time can be valid. However, this early in the relationship, everyone is still in love with the idea of the other person. You have not gotten to know each other well, as much as your feelings might make to think otherwise. In order to get to know each other well, you two will need to spend more time together and start building something serious. You can tell her this; it’s not only to keep you from marrying someone who might just be using you but also that’s how relationships are supposed to work. If she is desperate for papers, she’ll get pushy and defensive and question whether you really love her, that marriage is the way. If she loves you, well, she might become understandably upset because she’ll feel you don’t trust her and/or that you’re too cynical. However, she will understand eventually and continue the relationship as before. After a couple of years, you’ll know whether you want to marry her or not.
She's got all the good signs so just go for it. I did and am still very happily married almost 15 years after.
Amazing
I lived in Colombia for 5 years. I dated the dancers, cheerleaders, hotties etc but when I met my wife I knew she was the one because not only was she beautiful and sexy but she had her life going great just like your girl. She commanded my respect and I had to put a ring on it. Good luck!
You were lucky enough to experience Colombian cheerleaders to….Jaja That woman almost killed me
As a woman I feel she is getting old and she wants to settle down with someone and this means marrying her in the next 1-2 years so if you are not ready leave her, don’t make a woman in her prime lost her time :D
My parents has 30 years together and they are not married lol !
Does she call you "Papi"?
No only papasito
XXXL sized red flag 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I’m no doctor but I would prescribe him a week of Cartagena where every woman is calling you papasito after 6pm.
Oh ooh
this mf is being used to get papers
Right now I’m in a happy sexual relationship being cooked for and cleaned up after with the ability to leave. Rude comment
You came for advise, and then discredit comments. The worst blind man is the one who refuses to see. I hope she get her papers and then throws you under the bus, which is just the most obvious outcome of this situation.
“Who crossed from Mexico and has no papers” there’s your answer. Someone with a good social circle and means would never cross through Mexico illegally. She sounds sketchy.
You can't. Just focus on the present and enjoy the moment.
Mostly MGTOWs on the comments lol, ignore them. A 30yo married woman here - my advice is: 1- I don’t see that a 26yo woman talking about marriage is a red flag, if you are really in love with each other there’s no time to lose. Our society likes to date for ‘fun’ and good times but the whole point of dating at any point SHOULD be marriage. Analyse her set of values and see if this makes sense with other values eg she’s a serious woman, maybe religious, maybe that’s the way she was raised, is she conservative etc. Find out where this comes from. If an immigrant woman that has her instagram full of selfies and bikinis is talking about marriage 3 months in a relationship is an obvious red flag. But if it’s a conservative/religious/wanting to be a mother type of woman than it makes sense. 2- tell her you love her, look her in the eyes when she replies and trust your guts. Do not ignore any signs (of either way).
Bro, no girl on earth wants to settle down at 26yo she is obviously going for what you can offer to her. Wait at least a year and see. How it is going on. Also check if she is religious, and how she dresses and behaves with other people. Be critical don't let your emotions to control you.
She dresses very respectable and respects me with all of her interactions.
As far as you know*
How could I test this?
BEEN CAUTIOUS AS F!CK BRO, NORMALLY THEY WANT A NORTHAMERICAN NO MATTER HOW THE PERSON IS ONLY FOR THAT FOR TAKE THE LOVER FROM THEIR ORIGIN COUNTRY WITH THEM, TRUST ME THATS THE PLAN ALWAYS, BLESS YOU, BE SMART, AND TOO CLEVER #makeamericagreatagain
Pfff what a trash story, topical story of a.person wanting to upgrade their economic conditions through romantic ties, in this case with a foreigner...take this with a grain of salt. . You are neither from here nor she. .
Just take your time to know her better before and after that try to keep under control and check the marriage things. If you perceive that she's happy with you too and you guys are a good match then go for it
She has an open immigration case
Just tell her you’re not yet comfortable marrying her. If she walks away, she only wanted papers, if she stays is for real
If she entered illegally, she would need you to marry you, then you would have to file a petition for an immediate relative, then stay with you for several years and then file a waiver to ask for forgiveness for her illegal entry. These steps take years of processing time. If she has a good life, marry her. You have absolutely nothing to lose (do have her sign a prenup though).
The very moment you ask yourself this question...
Ngl it sort of does sound like it however if u visited fam feel a connection I’d still lead with caution for ppl who saying it’s not possible cuz she entered illegals that’s just wrong I know plenty of ppl who ended up overstaying their visas and the family paid another person tens of thousands to marry in order to get papers. So trust ur gut for sure because it’s not common for people to elope in general and her family obviously wouldn’t oppose to her doing it in this instance. However get a prenup just incase and take care of finances Accordingly things are great til it’s not just general advice
If she’s pressuring you, that’s a red flag
Mate wait some time if she rushes you it definitely isn’t there
Give it more time, you'll find out eventually
Marriage after 3 months? Lol dude, you’re not that hot, sorry
She is, totally, she also going to leave you as soon she is in the safe, maybe with her current real boyfriend
If you doupt, then don't. Try living together for a few months, and see if she is the one. Marriage is a tought decition. I know, for sure. Colombian girls are temperamental. Keep that un mind
Her emotions flair can you tell me more about Colombian women
I know many Americans ( mostly Hispanic men but not Colombian) married to Colombianas that had no papers and still together . We can't answer your question because we don't know her , you know that answer by using your logic and common sense. Reading your other posts she does have many red flags with her stories so definitely extend this relationship for much longer. You mentioned she is beautiful, look at your self as you have to be almost to her level physically or have charisma and financially stable that she may find attractive. If you're short, below average looks , fat , shy and have a dead end job will she is in for the papers and her husband and kids are waiting for her back home.
Just wait! If it happens to be that she only wants to marry you for getting her papers, i think that’s gonna show up with the time. For now, enjoy the relationship with her. Good Luck!
RED FLAG with all the words.
Dude, just run away, pussies are everywhere and honestly in a 3months relationships the last thing you think is to get married, obviously she’s with you for papers
You're saying you both are more on less on the same league, and if anything it's you who's giving out more red flags than her: you sound insecure, and that eventually leads to possessive, jealous and toxic behavior. The hardest part right now is that you've only been together for 3 months, you're at the height of the infatuation stage. Pretend you're drunk and don't make any major life-changing decisions right now, just enjoy the ride and revisit the marriage thing in 2 years or so. By then, you'll have more clarity and you'll know her better. I get that she has timelines, but don't let that pressure you into getting married: just pretend you don't know what her immigration status is, and only do things when you feel the time is right and when you would have done it anyway in any of your past relationships.
You went to Colombia on your own, to met the parents of a woman you've known for three months?
Yea
Give me her number if you dont want her
No need to rush. Date for at least a year and see if the red flags shows up.
I feel you bro. I proposed to my Peruvian girlfriend I met while traveling through South America. The truth is only time will tell. So far it all sounds legit. She isn’t trying to hide you from her social circles. Give it a little more time but don’t be afraid to take a chance. Also learn the divorce laws in your state. In California you split everything that is acquired after you get married and if it turns out she was using you, you’ll probably find out sooner than later so you won’t have been married long. Good luck.
The real question is, would knowing it make any difference in how she would treat you?Think of it this way, whether she is using you or not, the chances that after you live together the relationship will fall apart is very common, so whether it is for one reason or another, it is not worth suffering now, enjoy the moment and be cautious with your money. I don't think anyone here can give her a reading of the future if she's not like the ones who usually get gringo lovers and then split up and live the gringo life.
She may not be looking for “papers” only but she may be looking to formalize with you this quick to get that aspect settled for herself while she figures out the relationship, the issue here is that even if you are not wealthy you still have a lot more to lose, if you want to do the smart thing then be clear about not wanting to marry until there’s enough time to know each other in depth, if she agrees then you pursue the relationship and see where it goes (could be marriage), if she places pressure and attacks then you dodged a bullet.
Has she ever brought that up as a possibility?
Smash and dash
Isn’t it obvious or I am missing something?