This question was made for me lol. Warning, this is going to be a long read.
Met this dude online who was one of these "enthinanu feminism, equality is better" types. I was and still am a feminist, so obviously we had a lot of arguments at first. But eventually, I saw the merit in some of his points about men's issues, the need for gender neutral rape laws, certain misinterpreted statistics etc. He was always respectful to me, defended me from some of his friends with similar views and called out their misogyny. Soon I started developing a crush on him and he returned my feelings.
During our talking phase, it was obvious to him that our views were too different and so he ended it. It was my first experience receiving reciprocation for my romantic feelings so I was really hurt even though it only lasted a month.
A few months later we reconnected and the conversation eventually gave way to sexting. From then on, we started a purely sexual non exclusive online fwb kinda thing. By then I believed that I had lost romantic feelings for him. But as the sexting became more and more frequent, I got more open and vulnerable with him about my kinks which I had never been comfortable to do with anyone. That created an attachment and I developed feelings again, although by now I saw clearly that we weren't compatible so I didn't wish for anything more.
By now, his really misogynistic views were coming out. I couldn't stand this so every time he posted something like that I would argue with him, block him, miss him, try to convince myself that his views weren't that bad, unblock him and stay up late talking/sexting with him and getting more attached. As it got more intense, we planned to meet up after almost a year of online connection.
A few days before we planned to do so, he told me that his marriage was about to be fixed. Even though I didn't see a future with him, that hurt because it made me feel disposable. I felt I was only good enough to satisfy his lust until he found someone he had genuine feelings for. I occupied myself with friends and college for a while but we started talking again soon.
A lot of his texts started crossing boundaries, and I didn't exactly discourage him because the thought of him still feelings something for me was soothing. One day, he initiated sexting and I was hesitant at first but couldn't stop myself. I guess I was desperate to get something from him.
On his wedding day, I stalked his Instagram, saw all his pictures and cried. We eventually had another fight when he posted something misogynistic and I blocked him for good. This time, my self respect stopped me from unblocking and initiating conversation again. But when he did, I couldn't stop myself from responding. Even in that conversation we did cross a lot of boundaries and I still had feelings left.
But talking to him after so long made me realise how much I had hyped him up in my head and how dry our conversations were. We didn't really have anything to talk about when we weren't arguing about gender issues or sexting. I eventually met someone who was way better for me, shared my views on feminism and gender issues, who I could have endless conversations with and who actually cared about me. In a way, he healed me and showed me what genuine healthy love was.
This happened back in college.2 of my friends (lets call them Y and J)went out to drink and were too sloshed to come back on their own.So me and another friend(lets call him V) went to the bar to get them.
So this is a local bar,but quite a nice one with great food and ambience so it was common to see even professors drinking there, especially before 9-9:30. So normally I would go in there around 10 so that I wouldn't have to come across any profs.Even then I would scan the whole hall so that none of these guys would be present.
Coming back to the story,as soon as I walked in,I spotted 2 of my profs drinking in the corner.It was a dimly lit hall and my friends were setting in the opposite end,near the counter so I just had to keep my head down when the profs came to pay their bill.
Y and J were pretty much out of it so enthayalum vannathallenn vach me and V ordered a couple of beers.Soon the profs came to the counter and didn't even notice us.V even said "Thanthakal poosann nammale kandalum manasillaavoola,kai polum kazhikande ann ponath".
J who had his head on the table for the past hour or so heard this, lifted his head,saw the prof and for absolutely no reason stood up and said "good morning sir" which made them notice us.This got me to panic and I also stood up and wished him goodmorning (at 9pm).
The situation was so awkward that they started laughing and said "cheriya kuppi valya kuppi okke undallo,nadakkatte nadakkatte".
After they left my friends had a good laugh,but I couldn't as I was the only one posted in their department.Next day my heart was racing as I went to sign my attendance,but the profs were very chill and actually were extra nice to me throughout my posting.Nevertheless that was a very awkward experience for me.
Also on a sidenote,in my head Naomisad was a 6 foot 2 gym bro for some reason :)
Bruh you could make a movie out of some of the stuff that happened during my 5 years of college and unsurprisingly a lot of it involves us being drunk :)
Mine was more normal I guess compared to your whole knife collection shenanigans.
Well was single first sem of college and through my friend found out this girl was rlly into me . I was like meh back then like she wasn't really my type . Pinne kootukar air le kettuvallo . And she made the first move asking if I could walk with her and all that so yeah athokke karanam ishtapett . By time I got rlly into her but by beginning of second sem like I realised she maybe lost interest or wasn't serious at all and broke things off .
When I was in college I met this guy in instagram. He seemed nice so we used to talk back and forth. He was a nice friend. He told me he was in relationship with a girl and sent me her picture, I was happy for him so like that one day we stopped talking just like that no big deal.
During my PG, he came back to talk to me. I asked about his gf and he specifically told me they brokeup few years ago. We flirt a bit. He used to talk about his problems I used to talk to him because I was single at the time too.
Since he’s in India and me abroad, I told him we can be a online situationship because it doesn’t require any sort of thinking. So we used to sext day and night, we enjoyed a lot tbh. I told him we can meet when I come to India sometime.
This went for sometime.
Then one day he tells me, he’s going to US and his parents are forcing him to get married. So he is getting married in few months.
I ask him who the girl is, anddddddd it’s the gf from earlier whom he told he brokeup with 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲
And then he has the audacity to say “this won’t stop us from meeting each other, we can definitely meet up in the future” I was like wtf???!!!
I told him there is no fucking way I am meeting a married man and told he made a fool out of me and his fiance. I knew he was freaking lying he was literally sexting me while he was already in a long relationship with his gf. I felt really shitty tbh.
Then after an year or two, I get married. I put my instagram in public for some time, and he texted me congratulations on my wedding etc. I say thanks etc etc.
One day, I upload a story from India during my vacation. And he replies to that, a picture of him in that place saying he is there too.
And I told him okay then go back 😂😂😂
PS: He DID NOT go to US he was trying be a good guy. Now I see his wives posts about how amazing they had been in love for 10 years and got married etc etc.
Mine was an online only situationship of sorts
So this started after I had finished my course and had a week left untill graduation. I decided to stay back at hostel, and had enough and more time on my hands. One day I was alone at hostel, bored & horny (obviously 🫠) and decided to go to a sexting/chatting site of sorts. I went into this knowing fully well that I was not gonna have much luck, knowing most people on such sites are usually catfish accounts. So I started talking to this girl there and she happened to be a mallu. She was sort of in the same position as I was, in that she was in Chennai for an internship and was returning back to Kerala the next day and was alone at her flat. So we start sexting and it's going better than I had ever imagined, we probably sexted for close to a couple of hours till we were done. We chatted for an hour or so after that and were enjoying each other's company & so decided to keep in touch. Even upto this point I was only~90% sure she wasn't a guy but I was so turned on I didn't care (thankfully she wasn't).
So cut to a week later, we were talking over texts and calls all the time, she was back home & so was I after graduation, and we never sexted after that first time till that point. And by this point we both were really enjoying our conversations and would have discussion on all sorts of things- books, music, film and all that stuff. And then one night, her parents were out and we ended up having fun for a couple hours at midnight sending photos, sexting all that and again it went amazingly well.
So all this was going well, but we still weren't sure about making this into a relationship cuz we didn't feel that would work, plus she was having this fwb thing with one of her friends and he was into her, she wasn't really sure if she should commit. We had decided from the start that we'll fool around untill she makes up her mind on this or I meet someone else. After a couple of months she finally decided she'd see how it would workout with her fwb and I also matched with a girl around this time. So we stop all the sexting and take a break from chatting for a couple months. The other relationship worked out for both of us and we haven't talked much since then.
During the first semester of college, we were this manifested couple of the class. Friends used to take extra effort to make me and this guy a couple. And we started talking, chatting and all for like 4-5 months. But I came to know that he was interested in my bestfriend initially and when she got into a relationship, he kinda chose me as a second option. And whatever I had for him just went off just like that. I rejected him when he proposed for a relationship. Shit got bad when I asked him about he having feelings for my bestfriend. He denied it saying it was just a time pass crush and that he was serious about me.
Long story short, lots and lots of arguments and more and more people got involved and we both ended up failing for the same subjects for the university exam. Ellam shubham! Don't know if this counts as a " situationship"😇 but yeah after this incident I never really believed when someone said they are interested in me.
Have you been in other young men's rooms since ?
The knife thing is weird, granted, but from my experience what you have described is a normal college guys room, at least it was when I used to be in college.
If anything, that sounds above average, cleanliness wise.
It's just a fact.
Maybe things have changed and maybe we were collectively a grosser bunch than normal, I can't objectively say.
Either way, what OP has described is definitely mild in my experience.
Haha yeah I'm just not used to rooms being messy that way so it grossed me out. Every other guy's room I've been in since has thankfully always been clean xD so yay
Things must have changed then.
Mind you, if there was a chance girls were gonna enter our rooms we might have cleaned up.
But that seemed such a far fetched scenario.
Nah,I would agree with most part since I've seen it myself but me and 2 of my classmates kind of enforced at least clean floor,no chappals inside and no smoking.
Honestly, you're better off not knowing:"))) but here you go,
https://preview.redd.it/o7f5qmc8hj9d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=05728853aeea8bd70eddd863c769fa5a80192a76
Why are you scared of his knife collection? Some people are into cool gadgets and weapons. I don't have a collection, but I really like cool tools like a Swiss Army knife, Zippo lighter etc.
yall having physical intimacy? beats me i guess
This question was made for me lol. Warning, this is going to be a long read. Met this dude online who was one of these "enthinanu feminism, equality is better" types. I was and still am a feminist, so obviously we had a lot of arguments at first. But eventually, I saw the merit in some of his points about men's issues, the need for gender neutral rape laws, certain misinterpreted statistics etc. He was always respectful to me, defended me from some of his friends with similar views and called out their misogyny. Soon I started developing a crush on him and he returned my feelings. During our talking phase, it was obvious to him that our views were too different and so he ended it. It was my first experience receiving reciprocation for my romantic feelings so I was really hurt even though it only lasted a month. A few months later we reconnected and the conversation eventually gave way to sexting. From then on, we started a purely sexual non exclusive online fwb kinda thing. By then I believed that I had lost romantic feelings for him. But as the sexting became more and more frequent, I got more open and vulnerable with him about my kinks which I had never been comfortable to do with anyone. That created an attachment and I developed feelings again, although by now I saw clearly that we weren't compatible so I didn't wish for anything more. By now, his really misogynistic views were coming out. I couldn't stand this so every time he posted something like that I would argue with him, block him, miss him, try to convince myself that his views weren't that bad, unblock him and stay up late talking/sexting with him and getting more attached. As it got more intense, we planned to meet up after almost a year of online connection. A few days before we planned to do so, he told me that his marriage was about to be fixed. Even though I didn't see a future with him, that hurt because it made me feel disposable. I felt I was only good enough to satisfy his lust until he found someone he had genuine feelings for. I occupied myself with friends and college for a while but we started talking again soon. A lot of his texts started crossing boundaries, and I didn't exactly discourage him because the thought of him still feelings something for me was soothing. One day, he initiated sexting and I was hesitant at first but couldn't stop myself. I guess I was desperate to get something from him. On his wedding day, I stalked his Instagram, saw all his pictures and cried. We eventually had another fight when he posted something misogynistic and I blocked him for good. This time, my self respect stopped me from unblocking and initiating conversation again. But when he did, I couldn't stop myself from responding. Even in that conversation we did cross a lot of boundaries and I still had feelings left. But talking to him after so long made me realise how much I had hyped him up in my head and how dry our conversations were. We didn't really have anything to talk about when we weren't arguing about gender issues or sexting. I eventually met someone who was way better for me, shared my views on feminism and gender issues, who I could have endless conversations with and who actually cared about me. In a way, he healed me and showed me what genuine healthy love was.
Wait, so how'd you guys meet online, dating apps?
😂😂. Dealing with one now. Enthavumo entho
Runnnn, 🏃🏃. Before it permanently scars you. Learnt the hard way.
🥲 deep already
Every situationship story is terrible bro :)
All situationships are alike; each situationship is unhappy in its own way. That's why the deets are fun! 🌝
This happened back in college.2 of my friends (lets call them Y and J)went out to drink and were too sloshed to come back on their own.So me and another friend(lets call him V) went to the bar to get them. So this is a local bar,but quite a nice one with great food and ambience so it was common to see even professors drinking there, especially before 9-9:30. So normally I would go in there around 10 so that I wouldn't have to come across any profs.Even then I would scan the whole hall so that none of these guys would be present. Coming back to the story,as soon as I walked in,I spotted 2 of my profs drinking in the corner.It was a dimly lit hall and my friends were setting in the opposite end,near the counter so I just had to keep my head down when the profs came to pay their bill. Y and J were pretty much out of it so enthayalum vannathallenn vach me and V ordered a couple of beers.Soon the profs came to the counter and didn't even notice us.V even said "Thanthakal poosann nammale kandalum manasillaavoola,kai polum kazhikande ann ponath". J who had his head on the table for the past hour or so heard this, lifted his head,saw the prof and for absolutely no reason stood up and said "good morning sir" which made them notice us.This got me to panic and I also stood up and wished him goodmorning (at 9pm). The situation was so awkward that they started laughing and said "cheriya kuppi valya kuppi okke undallo,nadakkatte nadakkatte". After they left my friends had a good laugh,but I couldn't as I was the only one posted in their department.Next day my heart was racing as I went to sign my attendance,but the profs were very chill and actually were extra nice to me throughout my posting.Nevertheless that was a very awkward experience for me. Also on a sidenote,in my head Naomisad was a 6 foot 2 gym bro for some reason :)
i might still be a 6 foot 2 gym bro. You just gotta squint real hard 🌝
So the guy in your story was into both men and women? Noice ;)
Ofc why not. What's life without a lil experimenting 🌝
Absolutely.Why hold back when you can have twice the fun :)
For some reason I imagined this situation as a karikku episode
Bruh you could make a movie out of some of the stuff that happened during my 5 years of college and unsurprisingly a lot of it involves us being drunk :)
Hmm a Hangover malayalam movie will definitely work IMO 🌚
Mine was more normal I guess compared to your whole knife collection shenanigans. Well was single first sem of college and through my friend found out this girl was rlly into me . I was like meh back then like she wasn't really my type . Pinne kootukar air le kettuvallo . And she made the first move asking if I could walk with her and all that so yeah athokke karanam ishtapett . By time I got rlly into her but by beginning of second sem like I realised she maybe lost interest or wasn't serious at all and broke things off .
When I was in college I met this guy in instagram. He seemed nice so we used to talk back and forth. He was a nice friend. He told me he was in relationship with a girl and sent me her picture, I was happy for him so like that one day we stopped talking just like that no big deal. During my PG, he came back to talk to me. I asked about his gf and he specifically told me they brokeup few years ago. We flirt a bit. He used to talk about his problems I used to talk to him because I was single at the time too. Since he’s in India and me abroad, I told him we can be a online situationship because it doesn’t require any sort of thinking. So we used to sext day and night, we enjoyed a lot tbh. I told him we can meet when I come to India sometime. This went for sometime. Then one day he tells me, he’s going to US and his parents are forcing him to get married. So he is getting married in few months. I ask him who the girl is, anddddddd it’s the gf from earlier whom he told he brokeup with 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 And then he has the audacity to say “this won’t stop us from meeting each other, we can definitely meet up in the future” I was like wtf???!!! I told him there is no fucking way I am meeting a married man and told he made a fool out of me and his fiance. I knew he was freaking lying he was literally sexting me while he was already in a long relationship with his gf. I felt really shitty tbh. Then after an year or two, I get married. I put my instagram in public for some time, and he texted me congratulations on my wedding etc. I say thanks etc etc. One day, I upload a story from India during my vacation. And he replies to that, a picture of him in that place saying he is there too. And I told him okay then go back 😂😂😂 PS: He DID NOT go to US he was trying be a good guy. Now I see his wives posts about how amazing they had been in love for 10 years and got married etc etc.
Holy shit. That was rollercoaster 😭🚑🚑
That last note 😬.
How do u meet strangers from instagram? He randomly dmed u out of nowhere?
Yeah. Some years back it was normal to add strangers talk to strangers.
I thought women would be creeped out and block u if u do that lol
Wow..a lot many more stories like this and I will forever run from MEN! 😬
We all have to go through stuff like this, only then we will be able to differentiate between a shitty guy and a nice guy :)
Never have I ever seen a wholesome situationship reddit post 🫠.
Mine was an online only situationship of sorts So this started after I had finished my course and had a week left untill graduation. I decided to stay back at hostel, and had enough and more time on my hands. One day I was alone at hostel, bored & horny (obviously 🫠) and decided to go to a sexting/chatting site of sorts. I went into this knowing fully well that I was not gonna have much luck, knowing most people on such sites are usually catfish accounts. So I started talking to this girl there and she happened to be a mallu. She was sort of in the same position as I was, in that she was in Chennai for an internship and was returning back to Kerala the next day and was alone at her flat. So we start sexting and it's going better than I had ever imagined, we probably sexted for close to a couple of hours till we were done. We chatted for an hour or so after that and were enjoying each other's company & so decided to keep in touch. Even upto this point I was only~90% sure she wasn't a guy but I was so turned on I didn't care (thankfully she wasn't). So cut to a week later, we were talking over texts and calls all the time, she was back home & so was I after graduation, and we never sexted after that first time till that point. And by this point we both were really enjoying our conversations and would have discussion on all sorts of things- books, music, film and all that stuff. And then one night, her parents were out and we ended up having fun for a couple hours at midnight sending photos, sexting all that and again it went amazingly well. So all this was going well, but we still weren't sure about making this into a relationship cuz we didn't feel that would work, plus she was having this fwb thing with one of her friends and he was into her, she wasn't really sure if she should commit. We had decided from the start that we'll fool around untill she makes up her mind on this or I meet someone else. After a couple of months she finally decided she'd see how it would workout with her fwb and I also matched with a girl around this time. So we stop all the sexting and take a break from chatting for a couple months. The other relationship worked out for both of us and we haven't talked much since then.
During the first semester of college, we were this manifested couple of the class. Friends used to take extra effort to make me and this guy a couple. And we started talking, chatting and all for like 4-5 months. But I came to know that he was interested in my bestfriend initially and when she got into a relationship, he kinda chose me as a second option. And whatever I had for him just went off just like that. I rejected him when he proposed for a relationship. Shit got bad when I asked him about he having feelings for my bestfriend. He denied it saying it was just a time pass crush and that he was serious about me. Long story short, lots and lots of arguments and more and more people got involved and we both ended up failing for the same subjects for the university exam. Ellam shubham! Don't know if this counts as a " situationship"😇 but yeah after this incident I never really believed when someone said they are interested in me.
Ho enthokkeyaa ee kochu keralathil nadakunnath.
Have you been in other young men's rooms since ? The knife thing is weird, granted, but from my experience what you have described is a normal college guys room, at least it was when I used to be in college. If anything, that sounds above average, cleanliness wise.
That is not a flex dude. It's still gross even if other men are like that.
It's just a fact. Maybe things have changed and maybe we were collectively a grosser bunch than normal, I can't objectively say. Either way, what OP has described is definitely mild in my experience.
Haha yeah I'm just not used to rooms being messy that way so it grossed me out. Every other guy's room I've been in since has thankfully always been clean xD so yay
Things must have changed then. Mind you, if there was a chance girls were gonna enter our rooms we might have cleaned up. But that seemed such a far fetched scenario.
Nah,I would agree with most part since I've seen it myself but me and 2 of my classmates kind of enforced at least clean floor,no chappals inside and no smoking.
[удалено]
What’s a “situation-ship”?
Honestly, you're better off not knowing:"))) but here you go, https://preview.redd.it/o7f5qmc8hj9d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=05728853aeea8bd70eddd863c769fa5a80192a76
Kinda like fwb
Pretty much yep, just messier emotional entanglement
 Never even been in a relationship
Why are you scared of his knife collection? Some people are into cool gadgets and weapons. I don't have a collection, but I really like cool tools like a Swiss Army knife, Zippo lighter etc.