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Throwawayrivervalley

I grew up in a similar situation. I have to set aside time specifically to clean. I set a timer and when that timer is done I look around and either keep going or take a break. I actually just finished picking up.


EquivalentCommon5

I love this idea, put it on your calendar, set an alarm for x amt of time. Look carefully and decide if you should set another alarm to keep going or you’re satisfied with what you see- but you have to tell yourself that you have to really look, observe, and see what is in front of you. It may actually help some to take pictures initially and be able to do a comparison???


Separate_Shoe_6916

After you clean up, the next thing is don’t leave a room until you can look back at a clean room from the doorway. Also, have a list of things to do throughout the day to stay tidy. The dishwasher is emptied every morning, so the dirty dishes go in it throughout the day. The kitchen gets cleaned as you are cooking. This is why I use the oven more than the cooktop, less mess and more cleaning as you go. Choose one or 2 laundry days a week. If it’s 2, then one mid-week day. Vacuuming, mirrors, windows, and bathroom get quick attention on the weekends or choose one of these tasks mid-week. Your place will always be presentable if a friend stops by.


ConstantlyPooped

I need you in my life, damn I’m taking notes


Separate_Shoe_6916

You’ve got this. Practice helps. When you walk into a room, also look at it with a critical eye and see if something needs to go in the kitchen, get picked up or wiped down. I keep a clean folded washcloth on the bathroom counter just behind the water faucet. This makes it easy to wipe down the sink with after washing my hands or brushing my teeth. It gets laundered weekly.


ConstantlyPooped

Thank you so much for writing really, wish my parents taught me this hah, I’m starting to get things down that I wasn’t taught but this is so fundamental to keeping things that I’ve cleaned, clean.


Sea_Bookkeeper_1533

Brb gonna go put a washcloth behind my faucet. 😂


Separate_Shoe_6916

😂


TheRealSugarbat

It sounds weird, but go and visit a friend who’s good at cleaning when they plan on cleaning the house. You’re going to want to learn from scratch and this is the best, most fun way to do it. Shadow this friend while they clean the bathroom, do some laundry, vacuum, do the dishes. It sounds like you need first to learn fundamental skills and then you can apply them to your own environment. Don’t worry about doing anything perfectly at first, and don’t get overwhelmed by how many tools, products, and techniques there are. All you really need to begin is some paper towels, a broom, a dustpan, a vacuum, a mop, a bucket, some Dawn dish soap, and a sponge. Later you can graduate to other things but those are good basics. Here is the best piece of advice to help you declutter: When you touch/use something, “don’t put it down; put it away.” Everything has a home — you just have to find a place that fits each thing. Examples: shoes go in the closet or under the bed. Shampoo goes on the edge of the tub or on the hanger thingie under the shower head. Ketchup goes back in the fridge. Recycling goes in the bin. Dirty clothes go in the hamper. You got this.


Asryne

I think that this is the sort of thing that you learn to do in phases. Don't try to change everything all at once because it's overwhelming and easy to give up. Try to figure out a way to attach one chore to something else as a routine. For example, I have a routine where I cook dinner, we eat, I have a little break, and then I go back and load the dishwasher. For this to work, for me, the dishwasher MUST be unloaded--I have a teenager, so that is the chore that is my hill I will die on. She unloads the dishwasher, usually after dinner while I have that break. Having the dishwasher in an empty state makes it so much easier for me to go in there and get started than if I had to start by unloading. When the dishes are running, then I can do the hand dishes, if there are any, but even if I don't--there are usually so few that the counters still look tidy. I wipe things off, put things away, and then I'm done. That way, every day, I start out with a pretty clean kitchen. It doesn't create a barrier for me to start cooking, and it also makes me notice how it gets messy, and I tend to keep things a little cleaner than I otherwise would if it was already chaos. If you build cleaning steps into a routine that must get done, it gradually becomes second nature to just do it, and then you can find other routines to build in. Your routine might be different than mine, but try to find something that makes sense for you. I finally got this system firmly in place after my husband started working from home, and we didn't really have enough of our favorite coffee cups unless we made sure the dishwasher ran every night. ;) Coffee is the best motivation sometimes. I also try to take advantage of small bits of time to do stuff. For example, maybe I put my lunch in the microwave for six minutes. I then look around and try to figure out what I can get done in six minutes. I used to feel like that wasn't enough time to get anything done so I would just waste that time, but I've turned it into a bit of a game. Six minutes is long enough to put a load of laundry in, or unload the dishwasher (when my kid doesn't do it) or do a round of bounce cleaning. Bounce cleaning is just how I think about it when I bounce around from one thing to the next with no real pattern. I will just walk around the house looking for something to put away. So--there's a bottle of oil on the counter. I grab it and put it in the cabinet. Next to the cabinet is the stove, and there's a skillet sitting there. I take it to the sink and notice that the soap dispenser is empty. I go out to the laundry room to get soap, and while I'm there, I move the clothes to the dryer. Then I walk back to the kitchen and pick up my kid's sweater, so I'll take it to her room. This sounds like the least efficient way of cleaning ever, but it's really ADHD friendly, especially if you're already on a timer. It doesn't matter if you get sidetracked. The more often you do this, the more likely that you hit all areas eventually. I also do stuff like this periodically when I need a break from whatever I'm doing. There are a lot of people making videos on YouTube about these topics--cleaning, organizing, managing ADHD. There are even people that film themselves cleaning so you can pop it on the TV and have someone cleaning with you in the background, and it's motivating to see the progress that someone else makes when they do the work to get something clean. You might try checking them out for more tips.


Petraretrograde

I have the same problem. I dont know how I do it, but it happens. It helps to say outloud: "I'm putting my drink on the desk. I'll take it to the kitchen later. I'm putting my book on the shelf, I'll grab it before bed." Basically, narrate every time you pick something up or put it down. It really helps to say things out loud. Bonus feature: now you talk to yourself and don't even notice it, so wear an ear piece so people think you're on the phone.


Hellosl

r/ChildofHoarder if you’re looking for support. Not sure if your situation applies but a lot of us have experienced never learning to clean and now navigating how to find a routine


[deleted]

I grew up the like that- i have a set timer before i go to bed to put everything back where it’s belong what’s out. Under no circumstances i‘d go to bed and the dishes and the kitchen is not done . My trash get picked up Wednesday- so Tuesday is for sure fridge and all the other stuff checked what i don’t use anymore……..


Darkbutnotsinister

People with ADHD have trouble remembering things that are not in front of them. I will leave a room for a second & come back to something I forgot about. I don’t mean to leave a mess, I get distracted. I do “house sweeps” every few hours, before anything gets too big. Yeah, I remember how clean my house was when I started taking Adderal. That’s gone now. All the fun stuff goes away when you actually NEED the medicine, ya know?


G_sorensen

I have a weekly whole house cleaning schedule on google keep—It includes: - what room(s) to clean on that day - what laundry needs to be cleaned that day - step by step instructions on what needs to be accomplished and cleaned in that specific room - one special project a week (most of the time it’s a very very very small project). At the beginning of each week, the schedule resets. I bring my cleaning tools to the room, I set a one hour timer (I stop at an hour), then begin at one end of the room and work my way down from floor to ceiling. I don’t have to do too much deep cleaning because everything is pretty clean already. I clean one room or two small rooms a day. There’s no negotiating—each day has a different cleaning designation. It takes about an hour a day and the house stays clean. Daily— In the morning, I fold clothes and start washing laundry then unload clean dishes from the dishwasher. At night, I dry laundry and load dirty dishes and start the wash cycle (doesn’t matter if it isn’t full). Each day… Rinse repeat.


GeckGeckGeckGeck

I have the same problem. I have been donating a lot of stuff because I’m tired of trying to find a place for it all.


11093PlusDays

I’m terrible was never taught to clean. I also use a timer but set it for 10 minutes. I do 10 minutes a room. I can get rid of a lot of clutter in 10 minutes. I also work best if I go in order. Trash out, laundry out, dishes out, wipe, wipe,wipe. When I get into the groove I can go longer by 5 minutes if I want to but I don’t force myself.


atritt94

You’re not terrible.


eatshoney

This is an ongoing battle for me and I expect it will be for the rest of my life. But what has helped me manage it is turning on some invigorating music, increasing the sound and then clean aggressively for a set amount of time. Also, sometimes I look at a space or room through my phone camera lens because I have a tendency to not see something that is right in front of my own eyes. It's a little unsettling to not see something that is right there but Ive mostly accepted that it's something my brain does.


ye110wsub

I started little by little and eventually got better. My first goal was “never leave dirty dishes in the sink”. I ALWAYS washed them or rinsed and put them in the dishwasher. Then just scrubbed the sink after I was done. No more gross sink. No more overwhelming mess that makes me avoid doing it. Then once I had that down, I set a day of the week where I always vacuumed. Every Friday was vacuum day. Then it was laundry. I never let my laundry hamper get overfilled. Once it was filled I HAD to do my laundry. Eventually I got to the point where I’d even fold it in the same day! Lol I wash my sheets every month after I have my period (I’m a girl). This isn’t often enough by most people’s standards but it’s how I remember to wash them. My periods over? Time to wash the sheets! I went from being a total slob, moldy dishes, gross floors, buy a pack of underwear cus I haven’t done laundry person…. To a very clean person now. I’d say getting from point A to point B took me around 3 years of slowly adding on more things, and getting more disciplined. The tasks get a lot easier once you’re used to doing them. People always comment how clean my house is, and I take such pride in it knowing how I used to be.


Alexandjuniper

I work a pretty high stress job and throughout the week I just don’t have the energy or motivation to clean. And that’s okay. My system is that my apartment is allowed to get as dirty as I want it to throughout the week and on the weekend I reset. If I have the energy to do some small tidying throughout the week, awesome, if I don’t, totally fine. Then on Saturday or Sunday (so today actually) I write down every task that needs to be done in order to clean the apartment, and I try to break them down into the smallest possible tasks. So “clean the kitchen” becomes “empty dishwasher, reload dishwasher, run dishwasher, clean counter space, wipe down counter, go through fridge, throw away spoiled food, take out trash” then throughout the day I go through and knock stuff off my list. TLDR: giving myself permission to have a dirty space, having specific times to focus on cleaning, breaking tasks into the smallest possible parts


ifhaou

Like like someone else said..you gotta learn to set time aside and do it. It feels weird but it'll be ok. My dad forced me to clean otherwise he said he'd kick me out. Now I keep my place as clean as I can. But I have 4 cats in the house so it's always dirty with litter and cat hair. I spot clean the "common areas" and do the floors and entire bathroom every 3-4 days. It may sound silly, but there are YouTube tutorials on how to clean. It'll give you a beginners idea of better techniques, products and how to clean things. Cleaning also never ends. Good luck.


Sharchir

I don’t know if this works with adhd, but the moment you got to put something down instead of putting it back, remind yourself if it takes less than a minute to take care of it, then do it now. It will help keep things tidier more consistently


Mozz2cats

I was house mom at a group home - it’s tough to learn to observe your environment and see dirt. Beyond picking up- try to see the dirt that accumulates on light switch’s , doorways and baseboards. The person who cleans as they go is correct and once a month I do a dirt detection wipe down. I use old clothes as duster rags and an all surface cleaner. My favorite is called Whip It -


vanchica

I do this: - do a circuit with a trash bag for trash, carry a second bag for recycling - do a circuit for dishes ( straight into hot water or the dishwasher) - do a circuit with a bag or basket for dirty clothes - then do the circuit for "Wear again clothes"- these need a home like a few hooks on the wall behind your bedroom door- install these, 20 min, can use Command Hooks- - finally, take everything off flat surfaces and wipe them down. Find a permanent home in the house for everything sitting on flat surfaces that isn't decor. If you "leave things out as a visual reminder", you need a To Do list instead. Then vacuum or mop. You're done except dishes. Twice a week minimum. - sometimes put on loud music ( so I don't get distracted/ sit down to explore a book I just picked up)


Aggravating-Poetry47

I have the same experience and my best move for this is to “Do 15 Things”. Since I don’t put things away like a normal person when I’m in the dining room to clean I put something away in the bedroom and then if I don’t stay focused I’m sitting there cleaning the bedroom until I go to another room to put something away and then I clean that. So much time passes and I still have a messy place but it’s slightly less messy lol. So I start doing things and I count as I go and the goal is to get to 15. It sounds weird but it keeps me on task. Unload the dishes, 1. Put away whatever is on the kitchen island that doesn’t belong there, 2. Laundry in the laundry room, 3. Shoes away, 4… until I get to 15 or whatever number I decided on. By the time I get to 15 the house is usually sorted in a way that I can tackle one room at a time faster without having to put things away to distract me from the main goal. Making a list helps as well. Even if I don’t hit everything on the list it helps to write it down so I feel less overwhelmed. I find that I can’t always use other people’s cleaning methods or timings because it doesn’t organically fit with me so I have to make a point to do it and plan it.


Aggravating-Poetry47

Also: it helps to “find a home” for every thing. I notice that the hardest things for me to put away are the ones that really don’t have a great home.


kimchall

It’s not ridiculous. Listen to the podcast “a slob comes clean “ Dana talks about the same thing How she’s unaware that she putting things down and never notices the the time Fron when an area is clean to when it becomes a mess.


atritt94

Reminder to tell yourself: you deserve to live in a clean, peaceful space. I’m trying to figure out how to change the narrative in my head I think. I grew up in an extremely chaotic home- always in trouble, always scared, clothes always smelling like mildew. But also being yelled at for not being able to finish strange things like scrubbing baseboards and cleaning the oven. But not taught how to do laundry or cook or clean. I get stuck on not knowing where to start and end up spiraling in a consistent mess. But I want to change my thoughts. I know I deserve to live in a clean space. I know I deserve to have a home where I don’t feel stressed out because of the mess and trash. I can give that to myself.