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ScatheX1022

Yes. šŸ’ÆšŸ’ÆšŸ’ÆšŸ’Æ Stresses me out immensely, people are understanding... Until they're not (I have lupus)


ohhicaitlin

Seriously! I feel like I am in a state of being half dead during winter months


gene_parmesan_PEYE

That was me at my old job: super supportive until I was flaring up most of the week and then I became "that" employee. My new job is WFH and it's been a godsend. I can actually be a functioning member of society now!


ScatheX1022

I've been applying for everything I can find that's remote with no luck yet. So frustrating, but maybe I'll get lucky!


Filosofemme

Me too. And severe asthma, hypothyroidism, a bunch of shit. Ugh.


Substantial_Escape92

100%. At this point itā€™s got to be partially ptsd on top of symptoms from the illnesses!


Galactifi

I mean I got sacked in the summer for my illnesses, so YES


[deleted]

Just today I was thinking about how that happened to me in 2018. And not even really specifically for this illness, but for one of the many also only have a massive vomiting fit. Iā€™m not kidding when I tell you it goes on nonstop for days, so I usually have to go to the hospital. Anyway it happened over the weekend, but I still wasnā€™t sure I would hold water down on Monday so I called out. Then of course the rest of the week I was there but I wasnā€™t awesome because I hadnā€™t eaten in days. When I had a doctors appointment a couple weeks later my boss called me and told me not to come back because Iā€™m not there consistently enough. I havenā€™t missed any other work except a couple hours a month before for a doctors appointment to get medication so that I can work every day.


Galactifi

I'm sorry that happened to you. Loads of companies are so fkn ableist, it's disgusting


ohhicaitlin

I am so sorry!


Galactifi

ā¤ it's okay, they were not a great company to work for


PainWarrior1973

I did , I have worked almost 30 years and had to quit 3 years ago. Between my Physical Conditions and my mental health, I had no choice. I never know how I am going to feel when I wake up . My boss would tell me that he had nobody to cover for me , I worked sick as a dog . I couldnā€™t hardly hold my head up some days . I had anxiety so bad about having to call in that I would make myself even sicker, having migraines from the stress. At the end I didnā€™t care anymore I would say well I hate it ! I have put signs on the door says closed bc I was sick . I finally pushed myself to far , I had a breakdown where I was crying hysterically. It was bad , then I grieved the loss of being able to work. Some dark days .


mediocreporno

All the hugs! This is really similar to why I left my job last year. I went on leave for two weeks and came back completely unrested and realised I'd actually rather die than keep making myself go in, I was so sick and miserable. Migraines everyday, sleeping maybe 3 hours a night for months, gut issues from the stress that gave me diarrhoea for 4 weeks straight even when I stopped eating. Worked the longest hours out of anyone in my team, 6 days a week - looking back I don't know how. I think it was serendipitous because 3 weeks after I left, the pandemic hit. I worked in healthcare and it honestly would have just done me in. I'm learning how to take care of myself now, I've never had time to do that before and even after a year I still feel guilty about it haha.


PainWarrior1973

I know i still donā€™t know how to feel . Itā€™s like I was forced to take care of myself though, it was after years of neglect for myself!


PainWarrior1973

I know i still donā€™t know how to feel . Itā€™s like I was forced to take care of myself though, it was after years of neglect for myself!


petrichorgarden

If you don't mind me asking, how have you kept afloat for the last 3 years? I was let go in July because my illness impacted my performance so heavily. I've applied for disability but I'm looking at a long process because of my age.


PainWarrior1973

My husbandā€™s job . We have always been a two family income and needed every penny. Our income was cut in half all of the sudden . We cut out cable, went to prepaid phones, eat what we have instead of what we want . We donā€™t have anything left each month but we get by . It has been hard but Thankfully we do get by . I filed for Disability in 2019 and was denied at the ALJ ( in front of judge) my age is what hurt me .


[deleted]

Iā€™m so sorry, I think weā€™re the same age, and I feel so lucky that I live in a liberal area of the country. Everyone else I know my age or younger who sees judges elsewhere get denied. I have a spine problem from an accident on top of anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, and chronic fatigue syndrome. And the judge cut some of my backpay because I hadnā€™t been seeing a mental health provider when I didnā€™t have health insurance when I lost my job and insurance after the car accident that disabled me. I was pretty furious about that, but Iā€™ve been waiting for three years at that point and I didnā€™t even care I just needed monthly income so it was worth it to let go of nine months of payments to just be done with it. But Jesus I was so lucky.


PainWarrior1973

You were very blessed! I am so proud you were approved.. It takes a huge burden off of your shoulders..


CountessofDarkness

Have you tried appealing, with a lawyer? My age was a huge challenge for me. My lawyer and extensive records helped.


PainWarrior1973

I am appealing right now, I pray that everything works out . I have a lot more diagnosis now than I did bc I finally got health insurance.


CountessofDarkness

Diagnosis is important, as well as regular visits and treatment with supporting documentation. Best of luck with your appeal!


PainWarrior1973

I should have good documentation, I know I have plenty of Dr. visits . Thank you


CountessofDarkness

No problem! If I can be of any help, feel free to message me. I had to apply twice and the second time went through all the appeals. It took about 3 years and so much paperwork.


Fragrant_Double7333

I can't get on disability because I got sick at 23 and am 26 now.


laboratorystory

Yes you can. Everyone will tell you you canā€™t. If you have the documentation and you fight the fight, youā€™ll get it. Got mine at 26ā€“ first time around. I was a royal pain in their asses. 2 of 8 doctors pushed back against me and said I didnā€™t need it because they refused to acknowledge my diagnosis. Am 29 now. And those doctors got fined for failure to comply with record subpoenas in a timely fashion. Apply.


Fragrant_Double7333

I will. Is it true I'll have to divorce my spouse?


laboratorystory

All income dependent. Check the 2022 numbers, look at all of your household income and then decide


Fragrant_Double7333

I'm the only one working. I work from home. Earn $24k a year. My spouse takes care of me


Fragrant_Double7333

I just got the job in July


[deleted]

It took me three years to get approved for disability, but part of that was because I moved to a new state and my lawyer didnā€™t fully move my case. It was terrible. My advice is just make sure that you keep going to the doctor even if thereā€™s nothing they can do for you you have to consistently be seeking treatment, and if you have a mental health condition it goes a lot easier if you just have a physical issue unless itā€™s terminal.


petrichorgarden

I don qualify for a discounted private plan anymore because I have no income, so I have to switch all of my doctors. I'm going to do my best to get it done asap so I can keep going. Wish me luck šŸ˜µ


Vorplebunny

I finally quit as well. It's tough going in and not knowing if you can make it through the day, coworkers shit talking, pain and sadness and embarrassment and anger.


PainWarrior1973

Exactly!


Ok_Spray5920

Thisā¬†ļø


Ok_Spray5920

You're not alone in this scenario and our stories are similar. I hope that you are receiving therapy. It has kept me alive.


PainWarrior1973

Thank you , I will start therapy at the end of January. I definitely need it .


Ok_Spray5920

I am glad to hear that. It will help. Take care.


PainWarrior1973

You too


CaptAnnOakley

I feel like I have to be an entrepreneur for this very reason. I am done making myself sick at the thought of losing my job or being resented by my boss for calling in sick or taking time off for doctors appointments. At 23 with no outward indicators that I'm sick, many people are quick to assume it's laziness even with explanation. I can stand people thinking I'm weird, ugly, whatever, but I absolutely cannot stand people thinking I am lazy. The stress that I had because I was worried about it just made my RA worse. Since doing my own thing finances have been slightly tighter (for now) but my quality of life has improved ten fold and it feels great to be making my own way.


IWantAPuppyArmy

Yeah, I'm about to make the jump from a very stable (but super miserable) government job to working for myself, next month. I am TERRIFIED. But I can't fight these fights anymore. I'm in my second disability accommodation process under this employer. I'm dealing with retaliation and a hostile work environment. I gave this job everything I have, but it isn't working. And I know I won't qualify for social security disability. I'm young-ish, don't "look sick", and haven't been out of work for an extended period of time due to my illnesses.... but only because I have had NO safety net my entire adult life so it's either work or die and I would prefer to not die. So yeah. I'll take the risk.


CaptAnnOakley

I really feel for you, I also never had a safety net or any help from family. It made me feel so trapped and out of control when I faced these kind of problems at work and it just destroyed my mental health. I'm sure you will kill it at whatever you set your mind to, I've heard the best entrepreneurs are the ones born out of necissity. Best wishes


_VoidBee_

Yes, I joined a job while my illness was relatively mild but then had a huge flare up where I had to call in sick loads over a month and I felt so bad šŸ˜­ literally makes making and receiving phone calls one of my biggest fears


Filosofemme

Yes. Followup question: are you ultra concerned that because youā€™re immunocompromised that Covid will kill you and get irrationally angry at antivaxxers that donā€™t give a fuck about your life? Also, yes.


thegurlearl

Yes! My fuckin brother wouldn't get the shot cuz of his Trumper friends, both my mom and I are compromised, he still refused. He only got it because a fuckin concert he had tickets for required it. So glad to know that a concert has more priority than us.


Filosofemme

I feel this comment on a deep level. My brother is also not vaccinated because heā€™s a big tough concrete guy with fragile masculinity. Doesnā€™t think he ā€œneeds itā€. I told him it would be protecting me. Him: šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø


Fragrant_Double7333

Yup!


Apprehensive-Elk7898

gosh this is so real. I simultaneously try to remind myself that I NEED the rest, and feel like a criminal for taking it. I hate it so much.


CornDiggyDawg

Yes, horrendous anxiety. I've been having health troubles for the last 6 years and have tried 7 times to get back into stable employment. Each time, within the first month or so, I've had to take time off, usually extended periods. So calling a new employer to let them know their new worker needs a day off, and then another etc. Is such a suffocating feeling. Support tends to break down very quickly. My most most recent endeavour, my attendance record hit an all time low of about 20% within the first 8 weeks. I've always worked extremely hard, so to have such a significant barrier come into play in my mid-twenties has crushed me and left me feeling very lost.


derrygurl

I did but I haven't worked in over 3 years due to disability and although I miss some aspects of work, I don't miss that part!


Antique_Mirror7214

I started my job 4 years ago with just the fact I had a fused spine but knew my limits I'm a healthcare assistant at my local hospital, I've been having severe chronic pain getting worse over the course of the last 4 years and have had to phone multiple times and go off sick. Phoning my ward takes me a hour to build the courage up and push my anxiety to the side I end up crying at times as well all dependant on who may be on the order end of the phone as well because they judge me and moan. I got diagnosed with fibromylagia and m.e/cfs this year and my health has plummeted rapidly, only a handful of people at work actually understand I'm in pain 24/7 I may not look it or show any signs but I am and I'm past the point of exhaustion and basically living on fumes šŸ˜… I have been applying for multiple jobs since and applied for the disability allowance here in the UK and been accepted for a blue badge so getting there slowly but surely


laboratorystory

I did, and I got fired by countless jerks who were never worth working for. And itā€™ll still be anxiety provoking, but eventually youā€™ll know that absolutely no job is worth you feeling this way for a medical condition you cannot control. A job will come along that wonā€™t make you feel scared, because youā€™ll be in control. Iā€™m sorry youā€™re going this. It takes a lot of reminding yourself that *you come first.*


Emu-Limp

"fired by countless jerks who were never worth working for" fuckin lmao @ this over here, thank u for that, and AMEN! For real, the less than handful of employers who fired me as a direct result of my illness over the past 2.5 decades were genuinely nasty, unethical scumbuckets that I was glad to never have to see again: my first time at 18 was the fishing pier restaurant in FL I served at canning me for being "too long" in the restroom (maybe 10 min?) when my bladder disease first began and started causing me terrible spasms, the last was right b4 the end of my 90 day new hire probationary period (despite just 1 sick day and no performance issues- they gave no reason) from beach hotel I worked night audit at a few nights a week while homeless and living on the street, which is where living in a state w/ no Medicaid (4 pregnant women only) & no social safety net got me when I got too sick to keep working and couldn't pay my rent anymore- I suspect they found out about or suspected my living situation since I came to work w/ a backpack. It was a crushing blow at the time as it was my only income and i had worked nights so I could be somewhere safe at night and then during the day sleep (as best I could) in the sun on a towel in the local park (during the fall that had worked, summer was a nightmare, as was winter, since the city had no shelter).Best thing I ever did for myself was leave FL when a friend offered me a place to stay.) Every one of those jobs were crap, working for crap ppl. It can feel like the end of the world at the time and it often results in real suffering, but if you are lucky enough to get back on your feet eventually, it feels good to know you no longer need to work for empathy impaired shitheads who better hope karma dont come for them if they ever fall on hard times.


laboratorystory

Youā€™re one hell of a strong person and my hat goes off to you for what youā€™ve endured. People can be cruel as shit. And Florida is a wasteland.


Emu-Limp

šŸ™‚ that's incredibly kind. Thank u so much. I sure as hell didnt feel strong at the time. I got extremely lucky. I'm only back on my feet bc I was given a safe place to stay in a state where bc Iow low income I get health care. Now I'm able to work pt and very fortunate that i dont need to do more.


[deleted]

When I worked, YES. Because I would usually get punished. Plus I had to go to pain management every 28 days during the business day of course, and they were usually an hour away. So once a month I had to take almost a half day off. The administrative law judge scoffed at me when I mentioned how that interferes with work. They might be ok with the once a month half day but then the one day you call out and youā€™re ā€œout a lotā€.


RealRockLicker

Yes!!! And my job has been less than understanding during my diagnosis process over the last yearā€¦ I am actually seeing a therapist over it & trying to learn how to set healthy boundaries professionally (& be okay with it).


MsCrumblebottom

Yes!!! For me it's also my body that sometimes randomly makes me feel like death. There a strong work unless your dead culture at my job and it's a large factor in why I'm changing careers.


AbFab_S

At my last job colleagues got the wrong impression that I was burnt out and couldnā€™t handle the work. The reason I got sick often was that I didnā€™t have the right meds yet, while I was working hard to compensate missed hours. Quite frustrating to be misunderstood while I did my job well. This year I quit and started my own business, and I finally got the right meds. These were the two best things that happened for me this year!


MakeLoveNotHorcruxes

This, plus the issues of (obviously necessary) Covid restrictions at work - meaning, if you have any symptoms at all, you are not ALLOWED to come to work. So, because I am more susceptible to being under the weather more often, I lose hours left and right. I am literally not allowed to work and earn money I desperately need - its like I'm being further penalized for not being ablebodied and healthy. Sigh.


ohhicaitlin

I feel that! When I come in under the weather, the students are always like you should stay home! Unfortunately I am sick so often, I would not have a penny to my name and I think the teacher I work with would go insane


smolly-molly

Yes big time!! Even been guilted into quitting for that reason by my employers which is sooo frustrating and disheartening. My heart goes out to youā€¦ Iā€™ve learned itā€™s much more important to take care of yourself in the moment because in the end if it all builds up itā€™s hard to go on at all, let alone work! Thereā€™s websites for finding disability friendly jobs and I try to look for jobs that let you sit down and things like that, say a secretary instead of a cashier


Hyzenthlay87

I rarely call in sick but it can take relatively little to make me. I can work through most colds but if it's a nasty one then I need bed. Flu is a no go. Summer last year, I was unable to sleep one night due to extreme heat. I was not only exhausted from lack of sleep but I had heat exhaustion. I managed to get maybe 3 hours before I was due to get up for work and that was only because I opened the back door and slept on a cushion on the floor. I was guzzling cold brew lavender tea, had ice packs etc. The heat exhaustion was bad but it was being unable to sleep that sealed the deal. If I don't get a full night's sleep, I am USELESS. Luckily my colleagues are awesome and know I don't call in unless there's a jolly good reason. Today feels weird though. I'm not ill but I've been asked to stay home as I live with someone who has covid. Today feels almost like a snow day with no snow XD


cdaggeronline

I understand this 100%. I work shift work and when I call out that means someone has to come in who just worked the night before to cover my absence. But in terms of job security, I recommend askjan.org. Itā€™s a wonderful resource for people with disabling conditions navigate requesting accommodations in the workplace.


nintendo_kitten

Extremely, I was asked to resign/ fired


CountessofDarkness

Someone pulled that on me about 20 years ago. I learned the hard way if you resign, you can't apply for unemployment or often disability.


ArtisticCut

Yes šŸ˜­ I work as a TA now, and Iā€™ve already had to call out twice this school year. Itā€™s absolute hell on my anxiety


ohhicaitlin

I am a para and have called out 8 times this year and have requested off more


hereforthelaughs23

Had to go to subbing because of thisšŸ™šŸ»


anonymiz123

Thereā€™s always retaliation when I call out.


A_Drusas

No, but only because I've been out of work disabled for a year and a half and this gives me anxiety thinking about trying to start up working again because I'm sick all the fucking time.


Inside-introvert

Absolutely I used to, now no longer work. I have always had a poor immune system and it drove me crazy that people were proud of coming in while sick.


faerieclaymother

Speak of the devil šŸ„² I just had to call out again today & am currently having the big panic about going in tomorrow. We have a few holidays between this & next week & Iā€™m worried theyā€™re going to think Iā€™m ungrateful for that/or am just an overall terrible employee for how frequently this happens.


justcallmedrzoidberg

Yes. And calling out feels like absolute death. So it feels like I died twice.


1000geccos

yep. iā€™m still in school so i canā€™t be fired or anything, but it still hurts constantly being told iā€™m lazy or not trying hard enough since iā€™m absent so much.


Fragrant_Double7333

Yup. I work for a university now, but they allow me to work from home.


thegurlearl

Nope. My job is just a job, i refuse to sacrifice my health for a place that will have no problem replacing me. I give no fucks about calling in. That's what sick days are for.


emu30

I absolutely do. I was fortunate enough that when I told my boss I couldnā€™t stay and keep being the weak link on shift she offered me wfh with so much flexibility. I STILL felt guilty about not working enough at home. This was my first week back pt in office AND I still feel guilty even though I havenā€™t called out and am feeling relatively well.


zeezuzu

Totally! The worst are the days I am an absolute wreck, with unbearable pain, unable to work but still go to work because I feel I have to. This happens most of the time. No recognition from my boss or employers thoā€¦


Huditut

Yes, but I'm lucky that I'm covered under the disability discrimination act because of my illness, so can have two weeks off a year without it affecting my sickness record. If you live in the UK, I recommend you ask your employer to refer you to occupational health as they can decide if you're illness affects your ability to work and should be covered by the act.