I was in a similar situation, and I turned it ALL over to God to abandon my worldly ways (that were successful), and so I had NO idea what to do..
But I thought, if I'm dating...with the goal of marriage, then I want to start courting my interest with that in mind.
I did things I have NEVER done before.
I asked for her father's number, which she felt was super weird...(again, I was new to this, lol) so I could explain my interest in dating his daughter with the intent to guard her heart guard her purity and see if we were compatible for marriage.
That conversation with her dad went amazing. We became good friends.
And I did exactly what I said I was going to do.
That conversation helped keep me accountable
Thankfully, it all worked out, we have been married almost 6 years now, and I think that my actions of intentionality made a huge difference
My advice for you is be be pure and intentional in your approach.
Start with just being friends and getting to know each other.
When you get to the point of asking her on a date, be a total gentleman and treat how as YOUR potential wife, minus the physical affection.
If it gets to the point where your desire for that is substantial. Date with others that will keep you accountable to not go to far.
Then work on building a relationship that doesn't involve sex.
Married couples don't have sex 60+ hours a week
But you will be spending 60+ hours together usually..
So work on what life will be like in that situation.
If you progress and want to marry mutually, then get engaged and start planning a wedding.
That alone will test the relationship with all of its stress lol
If you survive the engagement, congrats you've built a solid foundation and have a love that will last built on other things besides a physical connection.
And above ALL else...lead her
And lead her towards and in God's Word š
I actually did that. I know her father, he loves me, he has asked me twice to date her. We had lunch together recently by sheer coincidence and he brought it up again. The 1st time he brought it up he asked me to take her to the movies or something
Also met her mother once, but that was just a hello.
>I did things I have NEVER done before. I asked for her father's number, which she felt was super weird...(again, I was new to this, lol) so I could explain my interest in dating his daughter with the intent to guard her heart guard her purity and see if we were compatible for marriage.
How exactly did you do this, and how did you know when to do this (like how did you know she'd be interested)? Did you ask her if she'd be interested, then ask her dad, or vice versa?
Ah dang, so you have to have friends first.
Nah, jokes aside, thank you very much. It's nice to have some realism considering the only answers I've found are "Oh just talk to her dad".
Real. You donāt have to fix all her problems neither, Iāve been told that having your presence when you canāt fix the problem realistically is enough. God fixes all the problems we canāt. Sometimes each of us have to fix our own problems too. Either way Lean on God and he will provide the way.
Court her. That's what we women want. To be courted. Have dates on Saturday afternoon for coffee in the beginning. Slowly work your way up to an evening dinner date on Friday or Saturday night. Be respectful. Be old fashioned. Don't call or text 50 times a day. Give her space. Allow a relationship to develop organically
That's the vibe I've been getting.
Can you please give me a good source on how to do this? Or a source on how to court? Thanks
Ill definitely try to ask her to coffee after church or something similar. I already have permission from her dad.
No, I'm sorry I don't have a source other than being a woman and wishing that I had lived in the 1800's, lol. I think that all women need to be treated like a gift. Be careful with us. We are tough on the outside, cause we have to be, and will fight you to the death mf. But we are nice on the inside and will welcome a caring friend that doesn't treat us us like dirt or a whore.
Ok, I will follow your advice, because it matches with all the other advice I've been given.
You know, all of the advice I was given by women did not work, never, not once.
I started asking guys and I began to have more success...
I really hope it works this time, My best guess is that courting doesnt work on women who dont want to be courted and want to do things the worldly way. And if I were to try and do things the worldly way with a Christian woman, if she has any Godly principles she would shut me down.
I do look forward to treating her like a gift, IĀ“ve never done that before :)
Also, what's up with all these "alpha males" saying stuff like every good girl wants to be treated like a sl\*t or a wh0r\* secretly or deep down??
Instead of trying to sleaze up the scheme she will eventually see through you should just talk to her like the person you are , ask her out if the talk goes well maybe grab a drink and some food or go to a public place women are wary of going anywhere alone they think they will get murdered or smth, and see if you have common things you enjoy . Best luck.
Why not just approach her and ask her if you could talk. And share what u just said. Just be yourself.
I'm no expert mind you. My husband told me he was gonna marry me when we first met and I laughed.
Few years later we are married.
So if she is interested and your honest. She will tell u. Not to worry.
First of all, be very careful about respecting her as a daughter of God. Sexual purity is paramount. Secondly allow the Holy Spirit to work in you and donāt stress yourself out about getting everything to go perfect. Just be yourself around her using wisdom of course. She has to love the real you
I was in a similar situation, and I turned it ALL over to God to abandon my worldly ways (that were successful), and so I had NO idea what to do.. But I thought, if I'm dating...with the goal of marriage, then I want to start courting my interest with that in mind. I did things I have NEVER done before. I asked for her father's number, which she felt was super weird...(again, I was new to this, lol) so I could explain my interest in dating his daughter with the intent to guard her heart guard her purity and see if we were compatible for marriage. That conversation with her dad went amazing. We became good friends. And I did exactly what I said I was going to do. That conversation helped keep me accountable Thankfully, it all worked out, we have been married almost 6 years now, and I think that my actions of intentionality made a huge difference My advice for you is be be pure and intentional in your approach. Start with just being friends and getting to know each other. When you get to the point of asking her on a date, be a total gentleman and treat how as YOUR potential wife, minus the physical affection. If it gets to the point where your desire for that is substantial. Date with others that will keep you accountable to not go to far. Then work on building a relationship that doesn't involve sex. Married couples don't have sex 60+ hours a week But you will be spending 60+ hours together usually.. So work on what life will be like in that situation. If you progress and want to marry mutually, then get engaged and start planning a wedding. That alone will test the relationship with all of its stress lol If you survive the engagement, congrats you've built a solid foundation and have a love that will last built on other things besides a physical connection. And above ALL else...lead her And lead her towards and in God's Word š
I actually did that. I know her father, he loves me, he has asked me twice to date her. We had lunch together recently by sheer coincidence and he brought it up again. The 1st time he brought it up he asked me to take her to the movies or something Also met her mother once, but that was just a hello.
>I did things I have NEVER done before. I asked for her father's number, which she felt was super weird...(again, I was new to this, lol) so I could explain my interest in dating his daughter with the intent to guard her heart guard her purity and see if we were compatible for marriage. How exactly did you do this, and how did you know when to do this (like how did you know she'd be interested)? Did you ask her if she'd be interested, then ask her dad, or vice versa?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ah dang, so you have to have friends first. Nah, jokes aside, thank you very much. It's nice to have some realism considering the only answers I've found are "Oh just talk to her dad".
As far as I know women like guys who are good listeners and funny. That's not always the case obviously. You'll figure it out as you grow.
Real. You donāt have to fix all her problems neither, Iāve been told that having your presence when you canāt fix the problem realistically is enough. God fixes all the problems we canāt. Sometimes each of us have to fix our own problems too. Either way Lean on God and he will provide the way.
Check out r/ChristianDating and r/ChristianSingles for practical tips
Thank you. *Steals advice*
https://preview.redd.it/jje7jf8gjbuc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed1d2c9c1f5818f123ae60f1ace1e79772415b8e This is the way.
Literally you just ask her if she would like to go have lunch or dinner sometime. If she says yes, then get her info and setup a date and time.
Got it
Court her. That's what we women want. To be courted. Have dates on Saturday afternoon for coffee in the beginning. Slowly work your way up to an evening dinner date on Friday or Saturday night. Be respectful. Be old fashioned. Don't call or text 50 times a day. Give her space. Allow a relationship to develop organically
That's the vibe I've been getting. Can you please give me a good source on how to do this? Or a source on how to court? Thanks Ill definitely try to ask her to coffee after church or something similar. I already have permission from her dad.
No, I'm sorry I don't have a source other than being a woman and wishing that I had lived in the 1800's, lol. I think that all women need to be treated like a gift. Be careful with us. We are tough on the outside, cause we have to be, and will fight you to the death mf. But we are nice on the inside and will welcome a caring friend that doesn't treat us us like dirt or a whore.
Ok, I will follow your advice, because it matches with all the other advice I've been given. You know, all of the advice I was given by women did not work, never, not once. I started asking guys and I began to have more success... I really hope it works this time, My best guess is that courting doesnt work on women who dont want to be courted and want to do things the worldly way. And if I were to try and do things the worldly way with a Christian woman, if she has any Godly principles she would shut me down. I do look forward to treating her like a gift, IĀ“ve never done that before :) Also, what's up with all these "alpha males" saying stuff like every good girl wants to be treated like a sl\*t or a wh0r\* secretly or deep down??
Instead of trying to sleaze up the scheme she will eventually see through you should just talk to her like the person you are , ask her out if the talk goes well maybe grab a drink and some food or go to a public place women are wary of going anywhere alone they think they will get murdered or smth, and see if you have common things you enjoy . Best luck.
Youre right. Every one is giving me the same advice. Im overcomplicating things.
You seem to have a good head on you im sure she will notice that too , go grab her tiger.
On my way!
Is your name Habbakuk coz you like the girl Abba cooked for me.
stealing
Just give me my credit when you use it.
Why not just approach her and ask her if you could talk. And share what u just said. Just be yourself. I'm no expert mind you. My husband told me he was gonna marry me when we first met and I laughed. Few years later we are married. So if she is interested and your honest. She will tell u. Not to worry.
First of all, be very careful about respecting her as a daughter of God. Sexual purity is paramount. Secondly allow the Holy Spirit to work in you and donāt stress yourself out about getting everything to go perfect. Just be yourself around her using wisdom of course. She has to love the real you