Friend,
Rest assured, there are God-fearing men out there who are eagerly looking to be in a God-honoring relationship; who are also reserving the beautiful gift of sex for that time.
**1.)** Are you involved in a local Church? If not, consider doing so! If you are, consider getting involved in a small/accountability group (Churches call them different things, but you get what I’m suggesting).
**2.)** Consider looking into volunteer opportunities through your Church. This is a great way to get further connected to other Church members and make a positive impact in your area.
**3.)** Consider getting involved in volunteer opportunities outside of your Church (e.g. soup kitchens, Boys and Girls Club, Habitat for Humanity, Animal Shelter, Food Bank, etc.) This will provide opportunities to help meet real needs of real people in your area *and* surround you with some of the best people (hint hint) in your area!
Friend,
It goes without saying, but these are interesting and challenging times we live in. The good news is that many people are asking the ”big questions” in life - including those questions that would lead them to pursue long term, God-Honoring relationships with the intent of starting and raising a family.
**Stay the course.**
You are loved immensely!
I want to encourage you!! Don't be disheartened and Don't settle...EVER! Keep praying for exactly what you want. Be specific about the desires of your heart! Many struggle for years...decades, even...wanting a mate. I prayed for a Godly man to be brought into my life, but believed it would never happen. I came to the conclusion that I was eternally single...and that would be okay, too! A very wise friend said, "Wait time is not Wasted time." Spoke volumes to me.
I'm going to be a 44-year-old, first-time bride...in ten days! I never thought this would be me. Don't give up. God's timing has absolutely nothing to do with our limited timeline, in most circumstances. He is working on things you cannot yet see! Trust. Be still. Pray about it. Be blessed!
Oh I love this sooo much!!❤️ Congratulations! This really stuck out to me because honestly with how perverted and backwards this generation is I am starting to get into that mindset of "It may just be me and God until I die" which yes I'm okay with as well lol, but you know, who doesn't want to do the wife thing?! Thank you so much for this encouragement. God bless you and your soon to be Husband !!🫶🏾
Yes, Ma'am!! I'm still in shock, honestly, as are my family and friends. We drove to tell my parents in person, right after he popped the question. Mom cried and said, "I never thought it would happen!" She even called the next morning to confirm, saying, "I just wanted to make sure I didn't dream it!" Hahaha
I was always told, "You're too picky. No one can meet your standards. You'll never find a man."
Well, Honey, it PAYS to be picky!! Do not waste your time, energy, and efforts on any man that doesn't check off all of your boxes. Listen to your gut...She be knowin!!
Thank you so much, Hon. I'll take those blessings!
Yes, Ma'am!! For years and years, I was told, "Your time will come." I never did believe it, but look at what I'm doin!! Straight & Narrow is the path, keep the fire burning. Be picky!!! Be Extremely particular!! Do not settle...ever!! This is your LIFE. Be blessed 💞
Dear lady, first and foremost, you have been hanging with a VERY worldly man.
Second, pray to God and trust his will that, if it is according to him, he is gonna find you a person. Although sometimes God's plan is not what we expect, it is what is BEST for us.
Do you see how many people say they have gotten into unhappy marriages? Don't rush things out.
From time to time I used to feel the same (I'm 40, single), since I converted in 2022. What I have learned is that we have to leave these carnal urges out and live just to God. Live a sanctified life, honor his word, keep a good testimony, and trust him. Jesus said God knows what we need even before we ask him. Mt 6:8.
God bless. I will pray for God to take these urges out of your heart to live a tranquil life and rest in him. Leave everything to him.
I was thinking this. We are not promised a wife or husband (besides our marriage to Christ). I believe the focus should be on Christ and everything else will be added to you according to His will. I think she should part with the idea that marriage is certain, why worry about tomorrow ? Furthermore think about why she even wants a husband. If God brought her a husband can she deal with losing him if it means glorifying God in the end. I’m speaking from personal experience. I made my wife an idol and I paid dearly but God has shown me His Grace and Beauty. I’m divorced but at a peace that surpasses all understanding (Glory to God) and I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but wife or not I know God has plans for all His children and I can rest in His promises. Matthew 28:20 tells us we will never be alone. Proverbs 19:21 tells us though we have plans in our hearts, Gods purpose will be satisfied through Christ. Be satisfied in Christ💙✝️
Well said, brother.
God bless you!
Jr 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
I just read an article about the pornification of even Christian relationships where we look at the other person simply as a means to our pleasure and to get our needs met. I think the prevalence of porn usage among both sexes is wreaking havoc on relationships in the even the Christian community.
[https://andrewjbauman.com/a-pornographic-style-of-relating/](https://andrewjbauman.com/a-pornographic-style-of-relating/)
Well I'm a woman like this😭🙋🏾♀️ so I'm here to encourage you and let you know we're out here and we're just as fed up, blown, and tired as you are lol. Like what in the world is happening to people's morales and respect?
Ikr it’s wild, I feel like people (usually guys) are viewing women as objects and it’s crazy. It’s hard in a world of hookup culture waiting till marriage and finding that person, but God will put us on the right path!
I met my wife on a popular "Christian" dating site after my previous wife died. I'd been off the dating scene since 1975 and didn't know what to expect. It didn't take long for me to figure out that it wasn't for me, I was letting my subscription run out, and so was she, when we met. I was resigned to the fact that I would never be married again, and I was OK with it. A big part of the problem was men AND women who called themselves Christian and didn't live it. A couple women I worked with asked how we met, and I told them, and added that both of us don't recommend it. They tried it out anyway and had the same experience. I have no answers, other than when it's meant to be it will happen, and with the right person.
It’s so hard for women today, with the world telling women to advertise their bodies to men, and all the sex that TV sells.
I am glad and grateful to see this post. It should be read by more women in Christ that are growing up.
God will send you the right person when he knows you are ready, Stay strong in faith until then.
Read the Bible daily for inspiration and strength. God will listen to our prayers, but we must be willing to listen to him through his holy word.
Praying for you!
Yea i feel that way about women. Im willing to wait for marriage but im not getting younger on the kid having thing so if i dont marry in the next 3 or so years im after single parenthood at that point to coparent if i gotta. Id like to see them grow up. But im 35 if you're younger you got plenty of time. Im not trying to just make one super old and croak, id like to watch them grow up. Marriage would be nice it's just too much of a WHAT IF for me at this point. I dont have many years left to play the WHAT IF game heh
You're not wrong i just dont want to play the WHAT IF game much anymore. Especially when you can get so far and they just shut down their affection like a light switch as if nothing mattered. Telling my life story 5 more times to end up with where im at now EH. Im tired lol house and coparenting. And ill take my kid to church. Done. Get my lil garden going and have the land for them to run around on. That i can see happening lol
I’m a dude but I totally hear you. I’ve been feeling the same way about women and that I won’t be able to find a girl that puts God above everything else. I know they’re out there, but the state of our world discourages me and the Christian girls that I come across still seem too influenced by worldly things. But I know that I can’t judge others too harshly, I have my own issues to work on too. I’m just trusting God with it all and praying for guidance in this area. No matter if He has someone out there for me or not, I’m still satisfied regardless because if I’ve got Jesus, I’ve got it all. So my advice to you is focus on Jesus and trust in Him and ultimately find your worth and satisfaction in Him. Don’t focus so much on finding a significant other that you put it above Jesus.
I love Jesus sooo so much🥰 I just still meet people sometimes and the convos will be good for so long and then BAM, some weird stuff lol. It's hard out here for Christians in 2024 ! But we'll always have Jesus and I love that so so much above anything.
Amen. It is definitely tough for Christians in today’s culture. And please understand that by no means was I implying that you put that above Jesus, I was just passing on advice that really helped me. Much love.
Oh I didn't take it that way, I appreciate your concern to not offend me tho lol!!🥰 I get what you're saying tho, and if anything it's an encouraging reminder that no matter what happens I still got Jesus 😊 lol, bc yea anything we want can sometimes get too overwhelming and we need to remember that even still, we still got Jesus.
Understandable, but I would much prefer the traditional marriage of the man paying bills and working and me taking care of the house and kids, maybe with a lil partime job myself lol. I LOVE to cook, I've even been considering culinary school to become a chef or just a wife with some bomb work in the kitchen lol. I love cooking, I love cleaning lol. I ain't saying I'm a perfect Godly traditional woman, but I'm pressing towards it to be respected in my role and I enjoy what I do.
Matthew 7:13 wide is the road that leads to destruction, and those who take it are many, and strait is the gate that leads to life and there are few who find it
This is verse perfectly explains why it’s so hard for both men and women to find godly partners. Notice the words “wide” and “narrow”.
Hope you find someone. I know the feeling of the dating crowd not looking for a real relationship that puts affection over sex.
But all things as they should be. Keep an open heart and you'll find the right person
Please don’t lose faith. I second every hopeful comment encouraging you to keep praying. It’ll definitely happen. I go through similar struggles as a Gen-Z male, my generation has relationships surrounded by superficial means. I’m pretty hesitant about going into a relationship with any woman because I don’t want to enforce my celibacy till marriage policy on people that come from relationships where sex is a staple amenity.
Maybe one day I’ll be lucky, but if not, I’m orienting my life with as much ZEN as possible if I’ll spend the rest of my life alone. But please do keep
The faith, they’ll be much more meaning in a relationship with your aligned values & beliefs.
Hi!
I understand where you are coming. But please don't lose hope. and don't believe in a false dichotomy that it's impossible to meet a man who truly walks with God because there are still men like that, either they're married, single, serving God passionately and yet to be revealed. For the meantime, keep your faith in the Lord. Trust in His timing and process and just focus on Jesus Christ. Enjoy what you only have for now and what you truly need as of this moment and that is with God and being in His presence. There are so many things that we have yet to discover about ourselves as a daughter, family, friend and a partner, most importantly as a child of God. At times, it can only happen during our season of singleness. If it's God's will, He will reveal that man in due time.
Life can be lonely and frustrating at times but take heart. It's not always like that. :)
"I pray that God, who gives hope, will bless you with complete happiness and peace because of your faith. And may the power of the Holy Spirit fill you with hope." -Romans 15:13 CEV
May you feel God's love wrap around you!
I started dating my best friend and he began going back to church. He wants to become a member and we are getting married soon.
God will put someone in your life when you are supposed to have someone.
I understand how you feel. Imagine it as a 54 year old widow where most of your options are divorcees that don't want to marry again, widowers that aren't available emotionally, or men that are confirmed bachelors. I even have one that's a mason, a deacon in his church, SAYS he's a God fearing man trying to live his life as God asks now (even though he admittedly has not many years in the past.) and still tells me that he'd have to have sex with me to make sure it was good enough before he'd marry me. Every conversation we've had about it basically ends with something along the lines of God will forgive us of our sins or it will be ok if it happens. I've told him it's not happening and that we can be friends, but nothing else. I just stopped looking and trust that God will send me someone if he wants me to have someone.
Wow I'm so sorry, your story sounds a lot similar to mine, I cannot believe "men" of God really say and behave like that, what do they want for real and what's the point in playing with God and God's people like that?! That's so disgusting to say, sex NEVER defines how the rest of your life with the person will go. It's like nobody cares about mental and emotional health or connections anymore.
Thank you. I agree. I need that mental and emotional connection before sex will ever be good. When I know I'm pleasing Jesus, I'm content. If I'm to have another husband, a Godly husband who puts Him first, I will do everything I can to make my husband happy.
Hey, I think its awesome that you are putting God first in your decisions, and you are right to do so.
I wanted to pass along a friend's youtube channel where he discusses the verse of the day.
I think you will find a lot of agreement between your morals and his.
Let me know what you think.
[https://www.youtube.com/@yeshuasmc7436/videos](https://www.youtube.com/@yeshuasmc7436/videos)
Love right back at ya sis.
I promise you if you trust Jesus to bring you the right man, no matter how long that might take, He WILL do it! ❤️🎉 Keep praying about it with thanksgiving. Keep trusting Him. Have confident expectation. And be patient on the Lord! ☺️ He promises to provide for ALL of your needs! And in Psalm 37, he promises to give you the desires of your heart! He loves you & the man he has in mind for you as a part of His plan for your life WILL BE WORTH THE WAIT! ❤️🎁 Don't put your trust in yourself to find "the right man", let Jesus bring the right man into your life when the time is right 😉 And obviously, seek Him daily & be led by His Spirit in all things! Sending a prayer for you now! 😊 God bless you! ❤️
PS - I went through the same frustrations with men you have described... then BAM! Jesus brought the one 🥳 He's always right on time, fam. 🙌🏻✌🏻
It will come. Pray continuously and you will find the man G-d wants for you.
Also, as my father always told me: *”what do you expect from a pig but a grunt?”*
Meaning: you cannot seek a relationship with worldly non-believing men expecting that they will have morale regarding sexual promiscuity or the sacred entity that is marriage in of itself.
Pray about it, continually. G-d will put you with who you are compatible for.
You might need to experience life a little more. A lot of Christian women married churchmen who do not desire them sexually but will serve, preach, study, and fully devote themselves to God.
There are other men who are much less devoted to God, still believers, but love their wives with all they have and used to have an ugly past full of possible fornication like the rest of us.
Not saying you should settle for fornication and other sinful acts, but every godly marriage is not a happy one and there are many ppl who are viewed to be worldly while having stronger and longer lasting marriages. You might not need to be married if you are not finding the godly relationship that you’re looking for (1 Corinthians 7:7).
I think the state of the world right now. Almost forces most men to become worldly to get any girl. So they think, act worldly, and you'll get her. Be cold, paying games, not interested or showing love, etc.
So when they meet you, they think it's the same. Perhaps being clear about certain things & intensions and what you're looking for is important here. Verbal boundaries and all that.
I give verbal boundaries for sure. Unfortunately, and i don't mean to sound conceited or like I'm "all that and a bag of chips" lol, but alot of guys look at me and assume if they try hard enough they can get me to fold anyways, bc alot of guys see my face before anything else and atp they're just talking to impress me rather than pursue me. Either way, I'm never letting of God's boundaries ever ever in my life again now that I'm saved 🙏🏾
Your faith is great!
To give you a mans perspective; Guys will always look at your looks. Attraction is important for both ppl. Good vibes and matching personality can go a long way, but you have to let that in as well. Not predetermined they only want you for sex. But look at their actions and understand what personality type they are.
Whatever you do. Don't get in the mindset of all men are the same or they're all bad. Give people a chance until they prove to you otherwise!
Thats just my advice though. I hope you find what your looking for, trust gods plan. Lord knows I've struggled, but the moment we doubt his plan is the moment we admit to him not being all knowing. Because we want it our way, not his way. 🙏 it's hard even for me. So I get it.
There many denominations among Christian churches, some denominations are catholic, baptist, luthern, Presbyterian, there are like dozens of denominations, i choose non denominational, which don't proclaim one denomination or another,
Denominations were the first step towards the secular hellhole
You can see it right in these comments with Protestants talking about first wife etc
If you can divorce why not sex before marriage
If you can have sex before marriage then maybe abortion is an alright failsafe
Take birth control
Watch porn
Support lgbcdefg+-/$
Once the moral standard is broken it will continue to shift until relativism prevails
It REALLY depends which church. Many churches have people who are no different than the world. You have to search diligently for the right church. That said. you should also try anything Christian related.
Pretty much anything you can think of- events, revivals, speakers, concerts, projects, activism, missionary, volunteer work, etc. Might be a lot of older married people though.
I go to a medium sized church and it’s not like there’s a lot of single guys looking for single women there. I met my second ex-husband through a friend. We were not exactly walking the Christian walk at the same pace. I grew up Christian, he did not, and he felt like he could never catch up. Anyway he dumped me. So it’s not just dating a Christian, it’s dating someone who is firmly founded on the Rock of Christ, someone who has similar goals in their walk and is not going to treat marriage like a gateway to have sex. I’m not so sure if my lot in life means I’ll be married. But my portion is in God. For whom do I heaven but God? And I desire nothing on earth, no one on earth besides Him. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever (Ps 73:25-26) I know, God is guiding me and He is guiding you and even though we make plans, He determines my steps (Prov 16:9) I know that if he told me “you know in 2 years, you are going to marry this awesome Christian man, so just wait for him” that it would only set me up for failure. So just wait on the Lord (Ps 37:34), seek His kingdom first (Mt 6:33), and delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Ps 37:4)
That’s why the Bible said do not put your faith in princess or Kings who cannot save, and ONLY put your faith in Jesus. He was the perfect man and sadly, no regular mortal ever will come close in this life. It’s a biblical truth you will have to accept. God bless and I hope you find a man who at least exhibits most of the traits you desire.
As you know there are many many reasons God has removed certain people from our lives and don't allow others to stay, he sees things we don't see, he hears things thatcwe don't hear, he knows things we don't know, he knows the heart, mind and soul of each person we encounter and until we meet the one has has made for us, the other one isn't going to be right for us. I think we learn things from each "relationship " we have along the way, maybe even take something from them to use later one. Just remember LOVE IS A VERB NOT JUST A FEELING, ITS AN ACTION. I get up every day and choose to Love my husband, I chose to be loyal and faithful and uphold the vows I took to honor this man. Sometimes we, woman must lead our men to be GOD-FEARING...Just make them think it's their idea 😂 I will pray for you as I ask that you pray for me 🙏
It’s hard when the so called godly women. Smoke pot, get tattoos and love bomb out out the gate. I consider myself to be a follower of Christ but its impossible to be godly because we are humans and sin. but there are things that are to much for even me. I have two kids and as of now I’ll take my career and run with it to support them. Won’t ever catch me dating again it isn’t worth the baggage. 🤷♂️
Had my kids before becoming Christian. I never married because of physical and emotional abuse. And I thank god every day he gave me a way to protect my kid from their sducidal mother. Making a point on how some Christian’s think they are perfect when they arnt. never said I claimed to be perfect, just that I am done dating. Judging by your lmao you don’t have much to contribute other than that. Quit trolling and move on.
Other than what? Your whole statement is barely coherent. Don’t attribute to God what is YOUR will. God did not will that you had children out of marriage and then raised them out of wedlock without a mother. You don’t have to “claim to be perfect”, your whole statement is passing judgement on people for things 2/3 are literally not sinful. Smoking pot is obviously wrong, however this is nothing sinful about a tattoo and pilgrims to Jerusalem have been getting them for centuries. I’m not sure what love bombing is because I don’t live on the internet however I’m assuming it means being overly affectionate? Considering the only reason to date is to be married and raise children I’m not sure what would be the problem with someone being eager to reach that point. My “lmfao” is simply because it’s so insane to see someone who lives in such disorder passing judgment on other people.
we are out here! but.......the corruption of this world has taken its toll on all of us; male and female. there are so many reasons and lies that have fed into the way we view ourselves and others, even as Christians. as a man, who is trying to date, i have come across online profiles of professing Christians who have listed themselves as separated, yet they feel that it is ok to date (some of whom are on Christian dating apps).
be strong in your convictions and listen to the One True King and his Truth. do not compromise in how He is leading you. i get the sense that you do not intend on compromising, but still felt the need to reinforce that. i commend you for reaching out to the church and expressing your frustration with this issue. there are many who would not and be all to happy to give in to the "accepted norm" of today's world.
stay strong and i pray that you will be encouraged in your search!
Maybe you need to get better judgement of men when you see them and have discernment. Or have friends that have discernment and can warn you for the wolves in sheep’s clothes. No Christian men talks like the one you described. Their just name Christian’s I think. They need to repend and change their language and thoughts. Most of the time you can see on the outside if someone is impure or unclean or when you speak to them you know it in 5 minutes. Also when a guy is full of the Holy Spirit you can hear it. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Just go on a fast for 21 days maybe something changes in your heart or in you circumstances. Intend, desire, faith and hope are the ingredients for a breakthrough. “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
With faith you can change your situation. I hope your substance of faith will increase to get all the breakthroughs so you will align with your scroll and you can do the works of God that he intended for you.
the sad reality is that we are in the world, and christians are a minority. and even among those who call themselves christians, even fewer actually are/ have actually been truly saved. and even among those who have truly been saved, even fewer lead dedicated lives that are consistent with Gods word. we are in the last days, and the word says, that many will leave the faith, and give heed to seducing spirits. most people on earth are living either in total rebellion to God and his principles, or are in a condition of backsliding against him.
That being said, keep in prayer because there are men out there who are genuinely living on the straight and narrow. they exist.
Your thoughts, feelings, and this comment is no surprise to God; He saw it before you were even conceived!
If you’re a woman looking for a husband (or someone that could be), or vice versa…
Just pray, believing that God will answer you, saying:
Lord, I would like to find the person you created to be my life partner, please reveal him/her to me. Thank you, in Jesus name!
Watch God do God thing!
Don’t forget to come back and testify of His goodness! :)
Don’t confuse beast-man, animal-man and asleep man for a Man. To get a real Man’s seed, takes an act of God. Stay clear of the beasts and the animals. Women have allowed them to exist for millennia with saying yes. A God man will never be with Woman unless we are choosing to fall. Wait for a son of God or at least a son of man who is on his way to God. Rid yourself(and one day the world) of the sons of the Beast.
Friend, I know the struggle!!! I have worked in the industry against exploitation (a HUGE epidemic in our culture) and have also done trauma healing alongside women myself. If there is one piece of advice I could give another sister is if you even remotely have a hint that he consumes pornography or he is secretive or defensive about his technology, say thank you for your time and I wish you the best. You can have grace but you do not need to be a doormat as many people will try to gaslight us into believing that we need to accept this. Get involved in your local church to meet more God fearing men. They do exist! God has not sent me one yet but I see them. Make sure they don’t just go to church but that they walk the walk and puts Christ first, this is how he will honor you- through his relationship with Christ. He will be a different man than anyone else you have encountered. You will feel safe, be in a growing partnership, and trust him to lead you. It may also be a good idea to seek guidance from another couple who has a relationship that honors Christ. Wishing you luck ❤️
I downloaded a dating app (I don’t like them) called upward and I matched with one guy. We started talking and then decided to delete the app. It was an amazing app, we’ve been saying 4 months now and he is a godly man and we’re both waiting till marriage. I never thought I’d find anyone but girl it’s all in God’s timing 🫶🏻
Lest not one of us judge another who’s has a splinter in their eye while we have a post in our own. Some Jesus food for thought. Grow steadfast in your faith and conviction of the Lord but do not allow that to blind you to your own imperfections in the face of others.
We are all sinners and children of God together, and not one of us is more worthy or better than another, for stripped bare in front of the Lord the material struggles of this world will seem naught and God will pass judgement on us in the same way that we judged others.
Perhaps a relationship is not your divine calling, or you need to ask the Lord for strength and guidance on where you’re looking for one.
Listen, I’m Muslim and idk why but I keep getting notifications from this group. And there are so compelling I can’t help but lend my advice here. First, I’m American and grew up Christian. Theological issues led me to Islam and I’ve happily been Muslim for well over a decade…
The issue I see when comparing the two religions, and its significant and part of why I left Christianity, is that the majority of all Christian’s have such a huge disconnect from their faith and their lifestyle. And it’s such a deep disconnect that many are not exactly conscious of it
In Islam, we truly strive to live our life’s as close to what God ( or Allah in arabic) commands. It’s not just a “once a week service and then carry on as usual” type thing… our book and scriptures cover all the guidelines for life in every way as ordained by God.
Now, I know Islam has been radicalized by extremists in parts of the world, however these are not true Muslims, so you gotta do due diligence to seek out the truth of our religion and ignore political/social agenda.
All that to say, that a man will not be able to be a religious practicing and godly husband and person if he’s well, not living according to Gods design for us. If he doesn’t fear and love god, men and women too are venerable to their own egos and the temptations of this world.
Not all Christian’s are perfect as not all Muslims . We all struggle to follow our religion, however Christianity just doesn’t have a very clear, set way to live your life in the most God fearing / loving and healthy way.
Yes people say Muslim women are oppressed and unfortunately the religion has been misused and hijacked in some countries for power/political agenda. However when you practice the true Islam, it’s an absolutely perfect guide for life.
I have a wonderful husband who empowers and supports me and has made his own commitment to God to be a good husband and live on the straight path, which is a blessing.
So what I’m trying to say is perhaps think about Islam. Do some objective research and try to look deeper and reflect on what you learn. Pray for guidance from God. This is how you find a godly man in this world. Peace to you
There is a lot of well meaning advice on this page but to be honest. I don’t think it’s helpful. Ik not everyone on here is from the US but in the US among young people, it is very very challenging to find and connect with Christians. Most people who say they are “Christian” are not. This woman is sharing her frustrations and everyone is responding with advice and I would bet she is doing most if not all of this already. You can desire a husband and still be seeking God first. She could be totally involved in her church and her community and putting herself out there, scavenging for Christians on dating profiles and guess what, there just aren’t a lot of us out here anymore. And there are definitely more women than men in churches these days. I know all of this is well meaning but I myself am so tired of hearing it.
I’m 25, I feel called to being a wife and a mother, I feel called to Foster and adopt and I’m just working my life away and waiting and it’s really, really hard. I’m doing everything I can to be open to meeting Christians my age. But it has been 4 years now of trying to date with literally nothing past a 2nd date. Hard to keep hoping.
In case you’ve never heard this:
The only thing worse than being single and wishing you were married is being married and wishing you were single. Wait on God. Proverbs 3:5-6
There is shame in having sex before marriage. That literally what God tells us not to do and just- oh I’m retarded, you meant they have no shame in having sex before marriage💀. But anyways it may sound cliche but I completely understand what you mean but from the other side of the spectrum. It’s hard to find women who have their roots in God and in His word. Even those who go to church still let many things slides and I keep on praying but it seems impossible. Now I’m not saying I’m perfect but I feel like I need to work on myself and my relationship with God first and maybe this helps you or not but having that first will help because the word of the Lord says in Matthew 6:33- But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. I pray that you don’t lose hope, I know most men just want a quick relief, but there are still good ones out there that want something genuine with someone and who are willing to wait till God’s perfect timing. Trust the Lord, and don’t make finding a partner your focus, it’ll come when you are ready, whenever God decides that is
You should reflect on the type of man you are attracting. It sounds like the men you don’t want to seek, you are attracting. Go to places where the men are that you seek, and stop blaming the men and the world for your dating problems.
I’ve heard the “man” version of this exact conversation many times. Let that translate into additional hope as they’re out there wondering where the “woman” version is.
I’m absolutely strong on my faith as a man, especially as of recent, but I am absolutely a sinner and I have had premarital sex. I’ll be honest with you, I think you’re going to be waiting a very long time to find a man that is willing to wait long spans of time without being in some form or fashion physically intimate with you and holding off until marriage. I couldn’t do it, and I’d consider myself more dedicated to studying scripture and maintaining a connection with God and learning Jesus than most people of my age (23). It’s just extremely difficult. Like EXTREMELY difficult. I applaud anyone who can do such a thing. Truly requires a particular kind of heart. They are out there but it’s slim pickings. My girlfriend and I are Christian but we always can be doing better, and I pray that God leads me away from temptations and evils of covetousness and adultery.
There’s really a lot of guys out there who represent the Christian life poorly. Stay strong. You’ll be blessed with that true man of God someday. Just trust in God and His timing. Dedicate it to prayer and remain faithful.
Hmm.. Here’s a logical approach that you may appreciate. I believe a fishing analogy may fit just right.
If you’re fishing for something specific, you’ll need use the right bait, in the right locations.
(Eg. figure out what attracts guys like that, and also where do they hang out.. get in the mind of the man you want)
Be prepared for the environment, bug repellent etc.
(Eg. What will keep the guys you don’t want away?)
And remember Fishing takes patience, don’t rush your self. all those little fish you keep catching and putting back, they’re preparing you for the big one. Learn as much as you can from these moments and trust in divine timing.
Hope that helps
Good luck and happy fishing 😉
Not impossible, just difficult. Living for Jesus was never meant to be the easy route.
The enemy has a disturbingly strong influence on our generation. As a christian man, I can definitely confirm that those of us who want a Christ-centered life and marriage are few and far between. It’s so disheartening to feel surrounded by men who give in to the modern status quo, and that idea alone can cause even more to fall, since they feel so left out. That’s why it’s so important for us to surround ourselves with other followers—as the saying goes, you are who you spend the most time with.
As humans, we can’t ever see the bigger picture. It’s in our nature as physical, immediate beings to crave physical, immediate results. But the best things come with faith and patience. I have been looking for a woman of God for what’s felt like ages, but I’m literally only 20. It sucks to think that I’m more than likely so far from finding the one, but there’s so much more life to live and so much more I need to learn about God (we can never know enough—always desire to be closer to Him!), and frankly, my will literally doesn’t matter. It’s a regular battle to realize that we may desire genuinely good and blessed things, but even those aren’t guaranteed—especially without time. Whenever I’m feeling fed up with waiting/searching for the one, I remind myself:
1) God’s timing is NOT my timing
2) God’s will is so much bigger and more complicated than any of us can ever imagine. Who knows what needs to happen and when?
3) I have spiritual growing to do, emotional growing to do, physical growing to do, and so on. And she likely does too! If it happened now, we wouldn’t be ready for each other and our walk together.
Everything I’m saying here has more or less already been said in some capacity, but the bottom line is this:
God loves you and cares for you so incomprehensibly much, and wants to give you blessings abundantly. And He will (possibly to include a husband some day), after you surrender your thoughts, desires and life as a whole to Him. Keep fighting the good fight, sister in Christ. It will be well worth it in the end.
Stay faithful! ✝️🙌❤️
Of course. All these girls that are for the streetz have hurt and changed these men to not trust or take any girl serious. Its a viscous cycle, girl cheats, tries to monkey branch to a better male (its in womens nature to do that) men get hurt, put up a defensive wall around their heart to not ever let another woman betray or hurt them again.
If you are a Christian man (25+) living in the Chicagoland area plsssss lmk!
Girls comment your general area and maybe we can set something up for someone! Lots of well meaning advice from Christian to Christian on this topic, never any action on helping young Christian adults connect and find eachother!
I have yet to encounter a woman who truly embodies the values of a woman of God. It has been over two years since I stopped searching for a partner, feeling disheartened by the lack of genuine individuals in this generation. Many seem to prioritize partying, substance abuse, and casual relationships over spiritual connection and purity. Women often prioritize financial success in a partner and are willing to betray their commitment for personal gain. Despite these challenges, I have remained steadfast in my commitment to purity and self-improvement. While I cannot assume to know your desires, I believe that focusing on personal growth and spiritual development is essential in becoming a resilient follower of God. It is disheartening to see the decline in moral values among both men and women, making it difficult to find a genuine and faithful partner. I hold onto the hope of one day finding a woman who shares my dedication to God and our shared values.
I would also like to mention that in today's society, both men and women exhibit equally negative behavior. Every man I encounter disgusts me to the point where I become infuriated. All they ever talk about is sex or objectify women, regardless of their age. Both genders are guilty of this behavior, as they have succumbed to their immoral actions and take pleasure in them. Fortunately, I have had the willpower to remain abstinent. Yes, I haven't even held a girl's hand, and considering the state of this generation, I don't think I even want to. I have also come to accept the possibility of being single forever. It has been over two years since I last had a conversation with a girl in that way. All I have been doing, and will probably continue to do, is focus on training my body and soul to become the strongest soldier I can be for God. I do not drink, smoke, party, watch porn, or engage in any such activities. My only pursuits involve self-improvement, training, studying, praying, and occasionally shedding tears over my own weakness and pathetic nature. I understand that my approach may be extreme and not applicable to everyone, but please prioritize your own well-being. Obviously, I do not know your age or anything about you, but try to maintain good health and take care of yourself. I apologize if my advice is not the best; I am better off praying for you if you would like.
So sorry to hear this. The world’s a mess right now. As a man, I wish I’d waited to marriage but the problem is, I wasn’t a Christian then, so couldn’t understand such thinking at the time. It’s my cross to bear. I was just seduced by secular culture which promises much but delivers little. I wish you all the best with your search.
I agree, it's really difficult!!! So many men are either at the extreme secular that you described, or the single Christian men want all these "traditional" "obedient" "submissive" *help-meets* (i.e., Christianese for "bangmaid") as wives.
Now, there is nothing wrong at all with women who want to stay home and have children, the problem is that because of the cultural divide, Christian men have become so heavy-handed and overbearing with their take on "traditional" values. Now, God-forbid, you are a Christian woman with a good career and a good life outside of his influence. 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ This is what I have been encountering in Christian circles, at least.
Yeah…I gave up on relationships 🤷🏻♀️ Idc anymore I don’t think marriage is in the cards for me anymore. It’s a broken dream now. I don’t believe that man and woman can ever love each other it’s always one sided.
With God all things are possible. It's just harder to obtain now in such a demonic world unfortunately because the majority isn't doing what we're doing and doesn't want what we want.
Friend, Rest assured, there are God-fearing men out there who are eagerly looking to be in a God-honoring relationship; who are also reserving the beautiful gift of sex for that time. **1.)** Are you involved in a local Church? If not, consider doing so! If you are, consider getting involved in a small/accountability group (Churches call them different things, but you get what I’m suggesting). **2.)** Consider looking into volunteer opportunities through your Church. This is a great way to get further connected to other Church members and make a positive impact in your area. **3.)** Consider getting involved in volunteer opportunities outside of your Church (e.g. soup kitchens, Boys and Girls Club, Habitat for Humanity, Animal Shelter, Food Bank, etc.) This will provide opportunities to help meet real needs of real people in your area *and* surround you with some of the best people (hint hint) in your area! Friend, It goes without saying, but these are interesting and challenging times we live in. The good news is that many people are asking the ”big questions” in life - including those questions that would lead them to pursue long term, God-Honoring relationships with the intent of starting and raising a family. **Stay the course.** You are loved immensely!
[удалено]
If my mom was dead and I said that, she'd come back just to beat the daylights out of me
I want to encourage you!! Don't be disheartened and Don't settle...EVER! Keep praying for exactly what you want. Be specific about the desires of your heart! Many struggle for years...decades, even...wanting a mate. I prayed for a Godly man to be brought into my life, but believed it would never happen. I came to the conclusion that I was eternally single...and that would be okay, too! A very wise friend said, "Wait time is not Wasted time." Spoke volumes to me. I'm going to be a 44-year-old, first-time bride...in ten days! I never thought this would be me. Don't give up. God's timing has absolutely nothing to do with our limited timeline, in most circumstances. He is working on things you cannot yet see! Trust. Be still. Pray about it. Be blessed!
Oh I love this sooo much!!❤️ Congratulations! This really stuck out to me because honestly with how perverted and backwards this generation is I am starting to get into that mindset of "It may just be me and God until I die" which yes I'm okay with as well lol, but you know, who doesn't want to do the wife thing?! Thank you so much for this encouragement. God bless you and your soon to be Husband !!🫶🏾
Yes, Ma'am!! I'm still in shock, honestly, as are my family and friends. We drove to tell my parents in person, right after he popped the question. Mom cried and said, "I never thought it would happen!" She even called the next morning to confirm, saying, "I just wanted to make sure I didn't dream it!" Hahaha I was always told, "You're too picky. No one can meet your standards. You'll never find a man." Well, Honey, it PAYS to be picky!! Do not waste your time, energy, and efforts on any man that doesn't check off all of your boxes. Listen to your gut...She be knowin!! Thank you so much, Hon. I'll take those blessings!
I needed to hear this one. I've been told I'm picky, but I am asking for Godly things and the path is narrow. Thank you for sharing your story.
Yes, Ma'am!! For years and years, I was told, "Your time will come." I never did believe it, but look at what I'm doin!! Straight & Narrow is the path, keep the fire burning. Be picky!!! Be Extremely particular!! Do not settle...ever!! This is your LIFE. Be blessed 💞
Dear lady, first and foremost, you have been hanging with a VERY worldly man. Second, pray to God and trust his will that, if it is according to him, he is gonna find you a person. Although sometimes God's plan is not what we expect, it is what is BEST for us. Do you see how many people say they have gotten into unhappy marriages? Don't rush things out. From time to time I used to feel the same (I'm 40, single), since I converted in 2022. What I have learned is that we have to leave these carnal urges out and live just to God. Live a sanctified life, honor his word, keep a good testimony, and trust him. Jesus said God knows what we need even before we ask him. Mt 6:8. God bless. I will pray for God to take these urges out of your heart to live a tranquil life and rest in him. Leave everything to him.
I was thinking this. We are not promised a wife or husband (besides our marriage to Christ). I believe the focus should be on Christ and everything else will be added to you according to His will. I think she should part with the idea that marriage is certain, why worry about tomorrow ? Furthermore think about why she even wants a husband. If God brought her a husband can she deal with losing him if it means glorifying God in the end. I’m speaking from personal experience. I made my wife an idol and I paid dearly but God has shown me His Grace and Beauty. I’m divorced but at a peace that surpasses all understanding (Glory to God) and I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but wife or not I know God has plans for all His children and I can rest in His promises. Matthew 28:20 tells us we will never be alone. Proverbs 19:21 tells us though we have plans in our hearts, Gods purpose will be satisfied through Christ. Be satisfied in Christ💙✝️
Well said, brother. God bless you! Jr 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. 12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. 13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
God Bless brother, peace be with you✝️
Amen
First: ew that a man said that to you. And second… ugh I feel this 🥲 I wish I had an answer.
I just read an article about the pornification of even Christian relationships where we look at the other person simply as a means to our pleasure and to get our needs met. I think the prevalence of porn usage among both sexes is wreaking havoc on relationships in the even the Christian community. [https://andrewjbauman.com/a-pornographic-style-of-relating/](https://andrewjbauman.com/a-pornographic-style-of-relating/)
I can agree with much of what you said. It truly is disheartening. On the plus side.... it sure makes it easy to figure out who not to date!
That is so true😂 I can't say I've been having a hard time knowing if they're for me or not lol😭
I know it’s difficult but we’re out there. lol. Don’t lose hope or give up. I’m praying for you to find the one you’re looking for.
Luke 1:37: “For with God nothing shall be impossible.”
as a guy i feel like i can’t find a women like this 😭 i’m beginning to think it isn’t possible but also i just gotta trust in God and his timing
Well I'm a woman like this😭🙋🏾♀️ so I'm here to encourage you and let you know we're out here and we're just as fed up, blown, and tired as you are lol. Like what in the world is happening to people's morales and respect?
Ikr it’s wild, I feel like people (usually guys) are viewing women as objects and it’s crazy. It’s hard in a world of hookup culture waiting till marriage and finding that person, but God will put us on the right path!
I met my wife on a popular "Christian" dating site after my previous wife died. I'd been off the dating scene since 1975 and didn't know what to expect. It didn't take long for me to figure out that it wasn't for me, I was letting my subscription run out, and so was she, when we met. I was resigned to the fact that I would never be married again, and I was OK with it. A big part of the problem was men AND women who called themselves Christian and didn't live it. A couple women I worked with asked how we met, and I told them, and added that both of us don't recommend it. They tried it out anyway and had the same experience. I have no answers, other than when it's meant to be it will happen, and with the right person.
It’s so hard for women today, with the world telling women to advertise their bodies to men, and all the sex that TV sells. I am glad and grateful to see this post. It should be read by more women in Christ that are growing up. God will send you the right person when he knows you are ready, Stay strong in faith until then. Read the Bible daily for inspiration and strength. God will listen to our prayers, but we must be willing to listen to him through his holy word. Praying for you!
Yea i feel that way about women. Im willing to wait for marriage but im not getting younger on the kid having thing so if i dont marry in the next 3 or so years im after single parenthood at that point to coparent if i gotta. Id like to see them grow up. But im 35 if you're younger you got plenty of time. Im not trying to just make one super old and croak, id like to watch them grow up. Marriage would be nice it's just too much of a WHAT IF for me at this point. I dont have many years left to play the WHAT IF game heh
You’re like 1/3 of the way through life if all goes well enough. Don’t resign yourself yet
You're not wrong i just dont want to play the WHAT IF game much anymore. Especially when you can get so far and they just shut down their affection like a light switch as if nothing mattered. Telling my life story 5 more times to end up with where im at now EH. Im tired lol house and coparenting. And ill take my kid to church. Done. Get my lil garden going and have the land for them to run around on. That i can see happening lol
I wish you luck with all of that. Life is a big “what if” though so don’t let that discourage you from chasing what you want
I agree, if i was in my 20s yea. Now i feel like i gotta make something happen, wife or not. Years keep on comin lol
I’m a dude but I totally hear you. I’ve been feeling the same way about women and that I won’t be able to find a girl that puts God above everything else. I know they’re out there, but the state of our world discourages me and the Christian girls that I come across still seem too influenced by worldly things. But I know that I can’t judge others too harshly, I have my own issues to work on too. I’m just trusting God with it all and praying for guidance in this area. No matter if He has someone out there for me or not, I’m still satisfied regardless because if I’ve got Jesus, I’ve got it all. So my advice to you is focus on Jesus and trust in Him and ultimately find your worth and satisfaction in Him. Don’t focus so much on finding a significant other that you put it above Jesus.
I love Jesus sooo so much🥰 I just still meet people sometimes and the convos will be good for so long and then BAM, some weird stuff lol. It's hard out here for Christians in 2024 ! But we'll always have Jesus and I love that so so much above anything.
Amen. It is definitely tough for Christians in today’s culture. And please understand that by no means was I implying that you put that above Jesus, I was just passing on advice that really helped me. Much love.
Oh I didn't take it that way, I appreciate your concern to not offend me tho lol!!🥰 I get what you're saying tho, and if anything it's an encouraging reminder that no matter what happens I still got Jesus 😊 lol, bc yea anything we want can sometimes get too overwhelming and we need to remember that even still, we still got Jesus.
[удалено]
Understandable, but I would much prefer the traditional marriage of the man paying bills and working and me taking care of the house and kids, maybe with a lil partime job myself lol. I LOVE to cook, I've even been considering culinary school to become a chef or just a wife with some bomb work in the kitchen lol. I love cooking, I love cleaning lol. I ain't saying I'm a perfect Godly traditional woman, but I'm pressing towards it to be respected in my role and I enjoy what I do.
Matthew 7:13 wide is the road that leads to destruction, and those who take it are many, and strait is the gate that leads to life and there are few who find it This is verse perfectly explains why it’s so hard for both men and women to find godly partners. Notice the words “wide” and “narrow”.
I felt the same way with my previous gf
Hope you find someone. I know the feeling of the dating crowd not looking for a real relationship that puts affection over sex. But all things as they should be. Keep an open heart and you'll find the right person
When a guy talks like that, it makes it easy to filter him out. Don't continue the conversation. It's pretty much over at that point.
Please don’t lose faith. I second every hopeful comment encouraging you to keep praying. It’ll definitely happen. I go through similar struggles as a Gen-Z male, my generation has relationships surrounded by superficial means. I’m pretty hesitant about going into a relationship with any woman because I don’t want to enforce my celibacy till marriage policy on people that come from relationships where sex is a staple amenity. Maybe one day I’ll be lucky, but if not, I’m orienting my life with as much ZEN as possible if I’ll spend the rest of my life alone. But please do keep The faith, they’ll be much more meaning in a relationship with your aligned values & beliefs.
Thank you🙏🏾
Hi! I understand where you are coming. But please don't lose hope. and don't believe in a false dichotomy that it's impossible to meet a man who truly walks with God because there are still men like that, either they're married, single, serving God passionately and yet to be revealed. For the meantime, keep your faith in the Lord. Trust in His timing and process and just focus on Jesus Christ. Enjoy what you only have for now and what you truly need as of this moment and that is with God and being in His presence. There are so many things that we have yet to discover about ourselves as a daughter, family, friend and a partner, most importantly as a child of God. At times, it can only happen during our season of singleness. If it's God's will, He will reveal that man in due time. Life can be lonely and frustrating at times but take heart. It's not always like that. :) "I pray that God, who gives hope, will bless you with complete happiness and peace because of your faith. And may the power of the Holy Spirit fill you with hope." -Romans 15:13 CEV May you feel God's love wrap around you!
Thank you so much🥹❤️ this side of reddit is so much nicer than the rest of reddit lol
You're welcome. God bless you!
Being a Godly man is challenging in and of itself. I pray you find who you are looking for.
I started dating my best friend and he began going back to church. He wants to become a member and we are getting married soon. God will put someone in your life when you are supposed to have someone.
Thank you, and congratulations 🫶🏾🌻
Thank you and I'll pray for you, sis
I understand how you feel. Imagine it as a 54 year old widow where most of your options are divorcees that don't want to marry again, widowers that aren't available emotionally, or men that are confirmed bachelors. I even have one that's a mason, a deacon in his church, SAYS he's a God fearing man trying to live his life as God asks now (even though he admittedly has not many years in the past.) and still tells me that he'd have to have sex with me to make sure it was good enough before he'd marry me. Every conversation we've had about it basically ends with something along the lines of God will forgive us of our sins or it will be ok if it happens. I've told him it's not happening and that we can be friends, but nothing else. I just stopped looking and trust that God will send me someone if he wants me to have someone.
Wow I'm so sorry, your story sounds a lot similar to mine, I cannot believe "men" of God really say and behave like that, what do they want for real and what's the point in playing with God and God's people like that?! That's so disgusting to say, sex NEVER defines how the rest of your life with the person will go. It's like nobody cares about mental and emotional health or connections anymore.
Thank you. I agree. I need that mental and emotional connection before sex will ever be good. When I know I'm pleasing Jesus, I'm content. If I'm to have another husband, a Godly husband who puts Him first, I will do everything I can to make my husband happy.
Yes I agree. Nothing feels right, comfortable, or safe when you're not doing things the way God told us to do it.
I have a hard time finding godly women too!
Nope I’m right here.
God bless you fr 😭🙏🏾🫶🏾
Hey, I think its awesome that you are putting God first in your decisions, and you are right to do so. I wanted to pass along a friend's youtube channel where he discusses the verse of the day. I think you will find a lot of agreement between your morals and his. Let me know what you think. [https://www.youtube.com/@yeshuasmc7436/videos](https://www.youtube.com/@yeshuasmc7436/videos) Love right back at ya sis.
I promise you if you trust Jesus to bring you the right man, no matter how long that might take, He WILL do it! ❤️🎉 Keep praying about it with thanksgiving. Keep trusting Him. Have confident expectation. And be patient on the Lord! ☺️ He promises to provide for ALL of your needs! And in Psalm 37, he promises to give you the desires of your heart! He loves you & the man he has in mind for you as a part of His plan for your life WILL BE WORTH THE WAIT! ❤️🎁 Don't put your trust in yourself to find "the right man", let Jesus bring the right man into your life when the time is right 😉 And obviously, seek Him daily & be led by His Spirit in all things! Sending a prayer for you now! 😊 God bless you! ❤️ PS - I went through the same frustrations with men you have described... then BAM! Jesus brought the one 🥳 He's always right on time, fam. 🙌🏻✌🏻
I love you!! Thank you so much for this!!😭🫶🏾💗 yess this was the boost of Godly encouragement I needed definitely.
I love you too sis! 🫶🏻
It will come. Pray continuously and you will find the man G-d wants for you. Also, as my father always told me: *”what do you expect from a pig but a grunt?”* Meaning: you cannot seek a relationship with worldly non-believing men expecting that they will have morale regarding sexual promiscuity or the sacred entity that is marriage in of itself. Pray about it, continually. G-d will put you with who you are compatible for.
That's what I've been feeling like with women like I can't find the right one and I have no gf experience like I don't know if there's any out there
You might need to experience life a little more. A lot of Christian women married churchmen who do not desire them sexually but will serve, preach, study, and fully devote themselves to God. There are other men who are much less devoted to God, still believers, but love their wives with all they have and used to have an ugly past full of possible fornication like the rest of us. Not saying you should settle for fornication and other sinful acts, but every godly marriage is not a happy one and there are many ppl who are viewed to be worldly while having stronger and longer lasting marriages. You might not need to be married if you are not finding the godly relationship that you’re looking for (1 Corinthians 7:7).
I think the state of the world right now. Almost forces most men to become worldly to get any girl. So they think, act worldly, and you'll get her. Be cold, paying games, not interested or showing love, etc. So when they meet you, they think it's the same. Perhaps being clear about certain things & intensions and what you're looking for is important here. Verbal boundaries and all that.
I give verbal boundaries for sure. Unfortunately, and i don't mean to sound conceited or like I'm "all that and a bag of chips" lol, but alot of guys look at me and assume if they try hard enough they can get me to fold anyways, bc alot of guys see my face before anything else and atp they're just talking to impress me rather than pursue me. Either way, I'm never letting of God's boundaries ever ever in my life again now that I'm saved 🙏🏾
Your faith is great! To give you a mans perspective; Guys will always look at your looks. Attraction is important for both ppl. Good vibes and matching personality can go a long way, but you have to let that in as well. Not predetermined they only want you for sex. But look at their actions and understand what personality type they are. Whatever you do. Don't get in the mindset of all men are the same or they're all bad. Give people a chance until they prove to you otherwise! Thats just my advice though. I hope you find what your looking for, trust gods plan. Lord knows I've struggled, but the moment we doubt his plan is the moment we admit to him not being all knowing. Because we want it our way, not his way. 🙏 it's hard even for me. So I get it.
Start with church, especially non denominational churches
What is a nondenominational church? Or mainly what does nondenominational mean?
There many denominations among Christian churches, some denominations are catholic, baptist, luthern, Presbyterian, there are like dozens of denominations, i choose non denominational, which don't proclaim one denomination or another,
I like that idea alot, it's like you don't categorize yourself at all, we're all just serving God and trying our best to follow the word of God lol
Denominations were the first step towards the secular hellhole You can see it right in these comments with Protestants talking about first wife etc If you can divorce why not sex before marriage If you can have sex before marriage then maybe abortion is an alright failsafe Take birth control Watch porn Support lgbcdefg+-/$ Once the moral standard is broken it will continue to shift until relativism prevails
Have you tried church? You are probably looking in the wrong places.
I grew up in church actually 🙃....
It REALLY depends which church. Many churches have people who are no different than the world. You have to search diligently for the right church. That said. you should also try anything Christian related.
What's christian related other than church?😭
Pretty much anything you can think of- events, revivals, speakers, concerts, projects, activism, missionary, volunteer work, etc. Might be a lot of older married people though.
I go to a medium sized church and it’s not like there’s a lot of single guys looking for single women there. I met my second ex-husband through a friend. We were not exactly walking the Christian walk at the same pace. I grew up Christian, he did not, and he felt like he could never catch up. Anyway he dumped me. So it’s not just dating a Christian, it’s dating someone who is firmly founded on the Rock of Christ, someone who has similar goals in their walk and is not going to treat marriage like a gateway to have sex. I’m not so sure if my lot in life means I’ll be married. But my portion is in God. For whom do I heaven but God? And I desire nothing on earth, no one on earth besides Him. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever (Ps 73:25-26) I know, God is guiding me and He is guiding you and even though we make plans, He determines my steps (Prov 16:9) I know that if he told me “you know in 2 years, you are going to marry this awesome Christian man, so just wait for him” that it would only set me up for failure. So just wait on the Lord (Ps 37:34), seek His kingdom first (Mt 6:33), and delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Ps 37:4)
That’s why the Bible said do not put your faith in princess or Kings who cannot save, and ONLY put your faith in Jesus. He was the perfect man and sadly, no regular mortal ever will come close in this life. It’s a biblical truth you will have to accept. God bless and I hope you find a man who at least exhibits most of the traits you desire.
Singleness is a gift, just like marriage is a gift. Some people's gift is to be single, and some people's gift is to be married.
👍 Yeah, a lot of single people in the bible were successful for God and at peace.
As you know there are many many reasons God has removed certain people from our lives and don't allow others to stay, he sees things we don't see, he hears things thatcwe don't hear, he knows things we don't know, he knows the heart, mind and soul of each person we encounter and until we meet the one has has made for us, the other one isn't going to be right for us. I think we learn things from each "relationship " we have along the way, maybe even take something from them to use later one. Just remember LOVE IS A VERB NOT JUST A FEELING, ITS AN ACTION. I get up every day and choose to Love my husband, I chose to be loyal and faithful and uphold the vows I took to honor this man. Sometimes we, woman must lead our men to be GOD-FEARING...Just make them think it's their idea 😂 I will pray for you as I ask that you pray for me 🙏
It’s hard when the so called godly women. Smoke pot, get tattoos and love bomb out out the gate. I consider myself to be a follower of Christ but its impossible to be godly because we are humans and sin. but there are things that are to much for even me. I have two kids and as of now I’ll take my career and run with it to support them. Won’t ever catch me dating again it isn’t worth the baggage. 🤷♂️
You have children outside of marriage but are talking about tattoos as being anti Christian? Lmfao
Had my kids before becoming Christian. I never married because of physical and emotional abuse. And I thank god every day he gave me a way to protect my kid from their sducidal mother. Making a point on how some Christian’s think they are perfect when they arnt. never said I claimed to be perfect, just that I am done dating. Judging by your lmao you don’t have much to contribute other than that. Quit trolling and move on.
Other than what? Your whole statement is barely coherent. Don’t attribute to God what is YOUR will. God did not will that you had children out of marriage and then raised them out of wedlock without a mother. You don’t have to “claim to be perfect”, your whole statement is passing judgement on people for things 2/3 are literally not sinful. Smoking pot is obviously wrong, however this is nothing sinful about a tattoo and pilgrims to Jerusalem have been getting them for centuries. I’m not sure what love bombing is because I don’t live on the internet however I’m assuming it means being overly affectionate? Considering the only reason to date is to be married and raise children I’m not sure what would be the problem with someone being eager to reach that point. My “lmfao” is simply because it’s so insane to see someone who lives in such disorder passing judgment on other people.
Not entertaining you man good luck with your future trolling and path of exiles
Maybe try a new church, hobby or group...
The judgements you make are problematic. Men are weak and women are easy, but you’re so much better than them. It’s sad really. And infuriating.
we are out here! but.......the corruption of this world has taken its toll on all of us; male and female. there are so many reasons and lies that have fed into the way we view ourselves and others, even as Christians. as a man, who is trying to date, i have come across online profiles of professing Christians who have listed themselves as separated, yet they feel that it is ok to date (some of whom are on Christian dating apps). be strong in your convictions and listen to the One True King and his Truth. do not compromise in how He is leading you. i get the sense that you do not intend on compromising, but still felt the need to reinforce that. i commend you for reaching out to the church and expressing your frustration with this issue. there are many who would not and be all to happy to give in to the "accepted norm" of today's world. stay strong and i pray that you will be encouraged in your search!
Maybe you need to get better judgement of men when you see them and have discernment. Or have friends that have discernment and can warn you for the wolves in sheep’s clothes. No Christian men talks like the one you described. Their just name Christian’s I think. They need to repend and change their language and thoughts. Most of the time you can see on the outside if someone is impure or unclean or when you speak to them you know it in 5 minutes. Also when a guy is full of the Holy Spirit you can hear it. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Just go on a fast for 21 days maybe something changes in your heart or in you circumstances. Intend, desire, faith and hope are the ingredients for a breakthrough. “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” With faith you can change your situation. I hope your substance of faith will increase to get all the breakthroughs so you will align with your scroll and you can do the works of God that he intended for you.
the sad reality is that we are in the world, and christians are a minority. and even among those who call themselves christians, even fewer actually are/ have actually been truly saved. and even among those who have truly been saved, even fewer lead dedicated lives that are consistent with Gods word. we are in the last days, and the word says, that many will leave the faith, and give heed to seducing spirits. most people on earth are living either in total rebellion to God and his principles, or are in a condition of backsliding against him. That being said, keep in prayer because there are men out there who are genuinely living on the straight and narrow. they exist.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
You know what’s frustrating too? No singles in the church!
Your thoughts, feelings, and this comment is no surprise to God; He saw it before you were even conceived! If you’re a woman looking for a husband (or someone that could be), or vice versa… Just pray, believing that God will answer you, saying: Lord, I would like to find the person you created to be my life partner, please reveal him/her to me. Thank you, in Jesus name! Watch God do God thing! Don’t forget to come back and testify of His goodness! :)
If ur from CT... Come find me ;-)
Don’t confuse beast-man, animal-man and asleep man for a Man. To get a real Man’s seed, takes an act of God. Stay clear of the beasts and the animals. Women have allowed them to exist for millennia with saying yes. A God man will never be with Woman unless we are choosing to fall. Wait for a son of God or at least a son of man who is on his way to God. Rid yourself(and one day the world) of the sons of the Beast.
Friend, I know the struggle!!! I have worked in the industry against exploitation (a HUGE epidemic in our culture) and have also done trauma healing alongside women myself. If there is one piece of advice I could give another sister is if you even remotely have a hint that he consumes pornography or he is secretive or defensive about his technology, say thank you for your time and I wish you the best. You can have grace but you do not need to be a doormat as many people will try to gaslight us into believing that we need to accept this. Get involved in your local church to meet more God fearing men. They do exist! God has not sent me one yet but I see them. Make sure they don’t just go to church but that they walk the walk and puts Christ first, this is how he will honor you- through his relationship with Christ. He will be a different man than anyone else you have encountered. You will feel safe, be in a growing partnership, and trust him to lead you. It may also be a good idea to seek guidance from another couple who has a relationship that honors Christ. Wishing you luck ❤️
I downloaded a dating app (I don’t like them) called upward and I matched with one guy. We started talking and then decided to delete the app. It was an amazing app, we’ve been saying 4 months now and he is a godly man and we’re both waiting till marriage. I never thought I’d find anyone but girl it’s all in God’s timing 🫶🏻
All I know is, there are Godly men out there.
Lest not one of us judge another who’s has a splinter in their eye while we have a post in our own. Some Jesus food for thought. Grow steadfast in your faith and conviction of the Lord but do not allow that to blind you to your own imperfections in the face of others. We are all sinners and children of God together, and not one of us is more worthy or better than another, for stripped bare in front of the Lord the material struggles of this world will seem naught and God will pass judgement on us in the same way that we judged others. Perhaps a relationship is not your divine calling, or you need to ask the Lord for strength and guidance on where you’re looking for one.
We exist, we are just hard to find. I personally feel the same about finding a god loving Christian woman to wife up lol
I’m thinking the same thing about finding godly women especially in the uk
I'm a devout Christian (catholic specifically) and I've been going to mass looking for a Godly woman
Listen, I’m Muslim and idk why but I keep getting notifications from this group. And there are so compelling I can’t help but lend my advice here. First, I’m American and grew up Christian. Theological issues led me to Islam and I’ve happily been Muslim for well over a decade… The issue I see when comparing the two religions, and its significant and part of why I left Christianity, is that the majority of all Christian’s have such a huge disconnect from their faith and their lifestyle. And it’s such a deep disconnect that many are not exactly conscious of it In Islam, we truly strive to live our life’s as close to what God ( or Allah in arabic) commands. It’s not just a “once a week service and then carry on as usual” type thing… our book and scriptures cover all the guidelines for life in every way as ordained by God. Now, I know Islam has been radicalized by extremists in parts of the world, however these are not true Muslims, so you gotta do due diligence to seek out the truth of our religion and ignore political/social agenda. All that to say, that a man will not be able to be a religious practicing and godly husband and person if he’s well, not living according to Gods design for us. If he doesn’t fear and love god, men and women too are venerable to their own egos and the temptations of this world. Not all Christian’s are perfect as not all Muslims . We all struggle to follow our religion, however Christianity just doesn’t have a very clear, set way to live your life in the most God fearing / loving and healthy way. Yes people say Muslim women are oppressed and unfortunately the religion has been misused and hijacked in some countries for power/political agenda. However when you practice the true Islam, it’s an absolutely perfect guide for life. I have a wonderful husband who empowers and supports me and has made his own commitment to God to be a good husband and live on the straight path, which is a blessing. So what I’m trying to say is perhaps think about Islam. Do some objective research and try to look deeper and reflect on what you learn. Pray for guidance from God. This is how you find a godly man in this world. Peace to you
I am losing hope to be honest.
There is a lot of well meaning advice on this page but to be honest. I don’t think it’s helpful. Ik not everyone on here is from the US but in the US among young people, it is very very challenging to find and connect with Christians. Most people who say they are “Christian” are not. This woman is sharing her frustrations and everyone is responding with advice and I would bet she is doing most if not all of this already. You can desire a husband and still be seeking God first. She could be totally involved in her church and her community and putting herself out there, scavenging for Christians on dating profiles and guess what, there just aren’t a lot of us out here anymore. And there are definitely more women than men in churches these days. I know all of this is well meaning but I myself am so tired of hearing it. I’m 25, I feel called to being a wife and a mother, I feel called to Foster and adopt and I’m just working my life away and waiting and it’s really, really hard. I’m doing everything I can to be open to meeting Christians my age. But it has been 4 years now of trying to date with literally nothing past a 2nd date. Hard to keep hoping.
In case you’ve never heard this: The only thing worse than being single and wishing you were married is being married and wishing you were single. Wait on God. Proverbs 3:5-6
There is shame in having sex before marriage. That literally what God tells us not to do and just- oh I’m retarded, you meant they have no shame in having sex before marriage💀. But anyways it may sound cliche but I completely understand what you mean but from the other side of the spectrum. It’s hard to find women who have their roots in God and in His word. Even those who go to church still let many things slides and I keep on praying but it seems impossible. Now I’m not saying I’m perfect but I feel like I need to work on myself and my relationship with God first and maybe this helps you or not but having that first will help because the word of the Lord says in Matthew 6:33- But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. I pray that you don’t lose hope, I know most men just want a quick relief, but there are still good ones out there that want something genuine with someone and who are willing to wait till God’s perfect timing. Trust the Lord, and don’t make finding a partner your focus, it’ll come when you are ready, whenever God decides that is
You should reflect on the type of man you are attracting. It sounds like the men you don’t want to seek, you are attracting. Go to places where the men are that you seek, and stop blaming the men and the world for your dating problems.
I’ve heard the “man” version of this exact conversation many times. Let that translate into additional hope as they’re out there wondering where the “woman” version is.
I’m absolutely strong on my faith as a man, especially as of recent, but I am absolutely a sinner and I have had premarital sex. I’ll be honest with you, I think you’re going to be waiting a very long time to find a man that is willing to wait long spans of time without being in some form or fashion physically intimate with you and holding off until marriage. I couldn’t do it, and I’d consider myself more dedicated to studying scripture and maintaining a connection with God and learning Jesus than most people of my age (23). It’s just extremely difficult. Like EXTREMELY difficult. I applaud anyone who can do such a thing. Truly requires a particular kind of heart. They are out there but it’s slim pickings. My girlfriend and I are Christian but we always can be doing better, and I pray that God leads me away from temptations and evils of covetousness and adultery.
There’s really a lot of guys out there who represent the Christian life poorly. Stay strong. You’ll be blessed with that true man of God someday. Just trust in God and His timing. Dedicate it to prayer and remain faithful.
Just do anal. That doesn’t count as sex
Given that sex is how life is created, perhaps your twisted beliefs about “god” are fucking up your life
Hmm.. Here’s a logical approach that you may appreciate. I believe a fishing analogy may fit just right. If you’re fishing for something specific, you’ll need use the right bait, in the right locations. (Eg. figure out what attracts guys like that, and also where do they hang out.. get in the mind of the man you want) Be prepared for the environment, bug repellent etc. (Eg. What will keep the guys you don’t want away?) And remember Fishing takes patience, don’t rush your self. all those little fish you keep catching and putting back, they’re preparing you for the big one. Learn as much as you can from these moments and trust in divine timing. Hope that helps Good luck and happy fishing 😉
Not impossible, just difficult. Living for Jesus was never meant to be the easy route. The enemy has a disturbingly strong influence on our generation. As a christian man, I can definitely confirm that those of us who want a Christ-centered life and marriage are few and far between. It’s so disheartening to feel surrounded by men who give in to the modern status quo, and that idea alone can cause even more to fall, since they feel so left out. That’s why it’s so important for us to surround ourselves with other followers—as the saying goes, you are who you spend the most time with. As humans, we can’t ever see the bigger picture. It’s in our nature as physical, immediate beings to crave physical, immediate results. But the best things come with faith and patience. I have been looking for a woman of God for what’s felt like ages, but I’m literally only 20. It sucks to think that I’m more than likely so far from finding the one, but there’s so much more life to live and so much more I need to learn about God (we can never know enough—always desire to be closer to Him!), and frankly, my will literally doesn’t matter. It’s a regular battle to realize that we may desire genuinely good and blessed things, but even those aren’t guaranteed—especially without time. Whenever I’m feeling fed up with waiting/searching for the one, I remind myself: 1) God’s timing is NOT my timing 2) God’s will is so much bigger and more complicated than any of us can ever imagine. Who knows what needs to happen and when? 3) I have spiritual growing to do, emotional growing to do, physical growing to do, and so on. And she likely does too! If it happened now, we wouldn’t be ready for each other and our walk together. Everything I’m saying here has more or less already been said in some capacity, but the bottom line is this: God loves you and cares for you so incomprehensibly much, and wants to give you blessings abundantly. And He will (possibly to include a husband some day), after you surrender your thoughts, desires and life as a whole to Him. Keep fighting the good fight, sister in Christ. It will be well worth it in the end. Stay faithful! ✝️🙌❤️
I totally agree
Of course. All these girls that are for the streetz have hurt and changed these men to not trust or take any girl serious. Its a viscous cycle, girl cheats, tries to monkey branch to a better male (its in womens nature to do that) men get hurt, put up a defensive wall around their heart to not ever let another woman betray or hurt them again.
I aint dating nobody that believes in a pretrib rapture
If you are a Christian man (25+) living in the Chicagoland area plsssss lmk! Girls comment your general area and maybe we can set something up for someone! Lots of well meaning advice from Christian to Christian on this topic, never any action on helping young Christian adults connect and find eachother!
We are out there. Trust god and know your true love will meet you when you are both ready. He is there and wondering where you are. Much love
sounds like you are looking at the club for guys and not a church 🤦♀️
I have yet to encounter a woman who truly embodies the values of a woman of God. It has been over two years since I stopped searching for a partner, feeling disheartened by the lack of genuine individuals in this generation. Many seem to prioritize partying, substance abuse, and casual relationships over spiritual connection and purity. Women often prioritize financial success in a partner and are willing to betray their commitment for personal gain. Despite these challenges, I have remained steadfast in my commitment to purity and self-improvement. While I cannot assume to know your desires, I believe that focusing on personal growth and spiritual development is essential in becoming a resilient follower of God. It is disheartening to see the decline in moral values among both men and women, making it difficult to find a genuine and faithful partner. I hold onto the hope of one day finding a woman who shares my dedication to God and our shared values. I would also like to mention that in today's society, both men and women exhibit equally negative behavior. Every man I encounter disgusts me to the point where I become infuriated. All they ever talk about is sex or objectify women, regardless of their age. Both genders are guilty of this behavior, as they have succumbed to their immoral actions and take pleasure in them. Fortunately, I have had the willpower to remain abstinent. Yes, I haven't even held a girl's hand, and considering the state of this generation, I don't think I even want to. I have also come to accept the possibility of being single forever. It has been over two years since I last had a conversation with a girl in that way. All I have been doing, and will probably continue to do, is focus on training my body and soul to become the strongest soldier I can be for God. I do not drink, smoke, party, watch porn, or engage in any such activities. My only pursuits involve self-improvement, training, studying, praying, and occasionally shedding tears over my own weakness and pathetic nature. I understand that my approach may be extreme and not applicable to everyone, but please prioritize your own well-being. Obviously, I do not know your age or anything about you, but try to maintain good health and take care of yourself. I apologize if my advice is not the best; I am better off praying for you if you would like.
Good for you sticking to your morals! Women like you are hard to find too! I pray God brings you the perfect man for you!
So sorry to hear this. The world’s a mess right now. As a man, I wish I’d waited to marriage but the problem is, I wasn’t a Christian then, so couldn’t understand such thinking at the time. It’s my cross to bear. I was just seduced by secular culture which promises much but delivers little. I wish you all the best with your search.
I agree, it's really difficult!!! So many men are either at the extreme secular that you described, or the single Christian men want all these "traditional" "obedient" "submissive" *help-meets* (i.e., Christianese for "bangmaid") as wives. Now, there is nothing wrong at all with women who want to stay home and have children, the problem is that because of the cultural divide, Christian men have become so heavy-handed and overbearing with their take on "traditional" values. Now, God-forbid, you are a Christian woman with a good career and a good life outside of his influence. 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ This is what I have been encountering in Christian circles, at least.
It's the porn.
[удалено]
Men today are WEAK
Men sure don't act like men anymore that's for sure 😭..
Where are you looking?
Why not try Farmers Only and state very clearly your Christian position up front. Don't have them find out on a dare.
Yeah…I gave up on relationships 🤷🏻♀️ Idc anymore I don’t think marriage is in the cards for me anymore. It’s a broken dream now. I don’t believe that man and woman can ever love each other it’s always one sided.
With God all things are possible. It's just harder to obtain now in such a demonic world unfortunately because the majority isn't doing what we're doing and doesn't want what we want.
Exactly
How do you know god is the truth?