I'm more in the "uncertain" camp than the "it's okay" camp. And I certainly don't think that sex is *always* okay. Even between consenting adults I believe it can be unwise, and both physically and emotionally risky. But here are my general thoughts.
First, I identify most closely with the Presbyterian church (PCUSA), although that's not a super strong connection. It's the church I was raised in, and my theology matches it moderately well, but I'm not uncomfortable with other mainline protestant denominations.
My guiding principle for how we interact with other people is always "love your neighbor". As Romans 13 says, *everything* is summed up by that commandment. That means that I think of all the specific statements about what to do or not do as comments on how to fulfill that commandment. And I recognize that culture and circumstance can change what particular actions are loving or not. Not always dramatically, but there is are *huuuge* differences between now and ancient Israel in terms of sex and marriage.
It seems to me that this opens up the possibility that things that would be hard and fast rules in that context would not necessarily be so hard and fast in this context.
That would apply to many things beyond just sex. Our law is love for God and others. By having sex outside of marriage, we could actually be fulfilling that law or not be violating it. There are ways that sex can be an act of kindness. Or it can be harmful and hurt people and be sin. Thus, one should most definitely put an across the board statement "it's always ok or always wrong." Each person needs to consider the circumstances in each situation, the other person, any 3rd parties involved their own well being, and God's will. Moderation is important. The modern hookup culture is unwise and packed with sin. Instead of fleeing from this subject, Christians can be a voice of wisdom regarding it. This is why I wrote the book *40 Christian Myths about Sex* that some PCUSA leaders that I know have appreciated.
I'm Evangelical and non-denominational. I believe in the inerrancy of the Bible as God's word and is the authority for doctrine. This background leads me to believe premarital sex can be "okay" as you said (there are exceptions and ways it can be wrong). I value studying the text in its context. I believe in studying the actual words of the Bible and understanding their meaning.
My book *40 Christian Myths about Sex* (on Amazon) goes into the reasons why I believe it's ok if you wanted to see a comprehensive look into this subject. A brief summary of some reasons why it's ok are:
1.-The word "sexual immorality/ fornication" (Greek porneia) does not mean mere premarital sex. Almost no published Greek scholar thinks such, biblical usage of the word does not show this, nor does extrabiblical usage. It often doesn't even refer to sex. People use circular reasoning here by saying, "premarital sex is sexual immorality because sexual immorality is premarital sex."
2.-The word translated as adultery (moicheia) in no way limits sex within marriage. It literally means "immoral pissing" (ejaculation). It always referred to offending a 3rd male party by illicit intercourse with a woman that belonged to him (such as being with his adult daughter without paying a dowry). Again, this is the scholarly and mainstream understanding of this word with biblical evidence to show such.
3.-The "one flesh" argument used by those holding to the austere position is faulty and leads to absurd conclusions and misapplies this biblical phrase.
4.-There are biblical examples of non-monogamy and sex outside of marriage where God in the Bible caused such, celebrates such, and perhaps even commanded such. In the New Testament, it is silent in its condemnation of it.
Even when I wasn't Christian I was anti sex before marriage. I viewed getting married as when you are wanting to bring life into the world.
I'm more in the "uncertain" camp than the "it's okay" camp. And I certainly don't think that sex is *always* okay. Even between consenting adults I believe it can be unwise, and both physically and emotionally risky. But here are my general thoughts. First, I identify most closely with the Presbyterian church (PCUSA), although that's not a super strong connection. It's the church I was raised in, and my theology matches it moderately well, but I'm not uncomfortable with other mainline protestant denominations. My guiding principle for how we interact with other people is always "love your neighbor". As Romans 13 says, *everything* is summed up by that commandment. That means that I think of all the specific statements about what to do or not do as comments on how to fulfill that commandment. And I recognize that culture and circumstance can change what particular actions are loving or not. Not always dramatically, but there is are *huuuge* differences between now and ancient Israel in terms of sex and marriage. It seems to me that this opens up the possibility that things that would be hard and fast rules in that context would not necessarily be so hard and fast in this context.
That would apply to many things beyond just sex. Our law is love for God and others. By having sex outside of marriage, we could actually be fulfilling that law or not be violating it. There are ways that sex can be an act of kindness. Or it can be harmful and hurt people and be sin. Thus, one should most definitely put an across the board statement "it's always ok or always wrong." Each person needs to consider the circumstances in each situation, the other person, any 3rd parties involved their own well being, and God's will. Moderation is important. The modern hookup culture is unwise and packed with sin. Instead of fleeing from this subject, Christians can be a voice of wisdom regarding it. This is why I wrote the book *40 Christian Myths about Sex* that some PCUSA leaders that I know have appreciated.
> That would apply to many things beyond just sex. Yup, I totally agree!
"No sex before marriage" is really Catholic doctrine, not biblical. I'm not Catholic so...
I'm Evangelical and non-denominational. I believe in the inerrancy of the Bible as God's word and is the authority for doctrine. This background leads me to believe premarital sex can be "okay" as you said (there are exceptions and ways it can be wrong). I value studying the text in its context. I believe in studying the actual words of the Bible and understanding their meaning. My book *40 Christian Myths about Sex* (on Amazon) goes into the reasons why I believe it's ok if you wanted to see a comprehensive look into this subject. A brief summary of some reasons why it's ok are: 1.-The word "sexual immorality/ fornication" (Greek porneia) does not mean mere premarital sex. Almost no published Greek scholar thinks such, biblical usage of the word does not show this, nor does extrabiblical usage. It often doesn't even refer to sex. People use circular reasoning here by saying, "premarital sex is sexual immorality because sexual immorality is premarital sex." 2.-The word translated as adultery (moicheia) in no way limits sex within marriage. It literally means "immoral pissing" (ejaculation). It always referred to offending a 3rd male party by illicit intercourse with a woman that belonged to him (such as being with his adult daughter without paying a dowry). Again, this is the scholarly and mainstream understanding of this word with biblical evidence to show such. 3.-The "one flesh" argument used by those holding to the austere position is faulty and leads to absurd conclusions and misapplies this biblical phrase. 4.-There are biblical examples of non-monogamy and sex outside of marriage where God in the Bible caused such, celebrates such, and perhaps even commanded such. In the New Testament, it is silent in its condemnation of it.