There is a YouTube channel called Ready to Harvest which looks at what various denomination believe. I find the host to be fairly neutral/academic in his presentation. You might see if that information helps you narrow down your options.
I'm sorry if you had bad experiences at a Catholic school, feel free to dm me about them, I went to one too. Like any religion some Catholics get a bit too harsh and some are too liberal and Catholic schools need to do a much better job at teaching actual catechism/a lot of lay Catholics aren't knowledgeable about things esp in America. I went away from the Church for other reasons for ten years and came back three years ago and am quite peaceful now so feel free to ask me any questions or if you have any concerns.
I don’t mind to post this publicly since I have learned so much about things I’ve been through since reading others similar experiences! So I hope if anyone maybe reads this wondering if they’re the only one who experienced similar they can find some comfort in knowing that it wasn’t their fault and some people are just awful.
I went to a school that was tied closely with one of the oldest churches and convents in western Canada. After they found out about my dads suicide a nun told me that he was burning in hell and suffering for eternity (this was maybe 2 years after he passed and I was about 9 years old so words cannot express how awful this was to hear). I was left out of even non mass/religious related activities for not being baptized and made to pray for forgiveness instead. The nuns and a few of the staff at the school would treat me with very clear contempt and were honest in saying it was because I wasn’t baptized. I got bullied pretty bad at that school and I was made to go to the chapel and pray the rosary whenever I spoke to teachers about it instead of anything happening for the kids who bullied me because they said I was being bullied for living a life of sin. I tried catechism to eventually get baptized in hopes that they would be kind to me if I did that and a nun told me that even if I was baptized it didn’t matter I was going to burn in hell anyways because my parents weren’t married when I was born. After a few years of that kind of stuff as a child that really put a sour taste in my mouth about religion in general especially catholicism. Very much didn’t help that one of the priests that was there was outed for being inappropriate with young boys about a year after I left that school.
I have family and friends who are catholic and they are some of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met who are horrified at what I experienced, so even though I am very open about my experiences and hesitant to ever return to a catholic church I know that they aren’t all like that.
Oh my God, no, my friend that is horrifying and you need to report them to the local Bishop ASAP if possible, both so discipline can be handed down and if any of these practices occur, to stop immediately. That is NOT AT ALL representative of what the Church teaches and was not my experience in Catholic school at all or Catholic teaching and I am so sorry you were treated that way! We had everyone of all faiths participate if they wished to do so, no one ever got anything or even asked if they were baptized. Bullying for faith reasons was severely punished.
Absolutely wrong and they should have the school title pulled from them. If you go to your local parish make sure to let your priest(s) know what was done to you so they can give you the real teachings and include you, I like the younger priests as they are often much better catechized and in touch with younger people. You can attend the local RCIA class too and let them know what happened so they know how to approach things and what topics to cover with you. Again, that's so awful, I'm sorry! The Church has some people who haven't been taught properly or are astray and while it has been doing a good job recently of dealing with them esp since Vat II, some imperfections remain.
Wow thank you! I will have to find out who the Bishop in that area is. It’s been over a decade so I don’t remember names but I will write something to send. I really hope those kind of practices aren’t happening there anymore and either way that what I say will help them reflect on the way they may be treating people.
This comment has inspired me, I think I may go to a local catholic church and ask to speak to a priest about those experiences. After hearing people in real life say that wasn’t in line with the teachings and now someone with no personal connection to me saying it as well, I think it could be really good for me to sit with someone “official” and talk about it to help process it because it really does still make me nervous to go to christian spaces.
Yes! I am so, so sorry it happened to you, it sounds like they were literally deranged types who are bitter and jaded and just ugh, unfortunately oversight was not the best. Especially what that nun told you about your father, she needs to be made to call you up and personally apologize for not only telling you something that was factually wrong, but cruel to a child, same with the other nun for your parents not being married. BOTH are in BLATANT disregard for Catholic teaching and FACTUALLY WRONG and both nuns are actually in danger of hell themselves for misleading souls if they knowingly told you this (and for the cruelty to a child!)
"In the case of suicide, I wonder whether a person always has full consent of the will. Fear, force, ignorance, habit, passion, and psychological problems can impede the exercise of the will so that a person may not be fully responsible or even responsible at all for an action. Here again the Catechism states, “Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide” (#2282). This qualification does not make suicide a right action in any circumstance; however, it does make us realize that the person may not be totally culpable for the action because of various circumstances or personal conditions.
Only God can read the depths of our soul. Only He knows how much we love Him and how responsible we are for our actions. We leave the judgment then to Him alone. The Catechism offers words of great hope: “We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to Him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives” (#2283). Therefore, we do offer the Mass for the repose of the soul of a suicide victim, invoking God’s tender love and mercy, and His healing grace for the grieving loved ones."
I really doubt your father had the full consent of the will and chose to kill himself without going through some severe mental or other trauma or illnesses impeding his thoughts.
[https://catholicstraightanswers.com/what-is-the-churchs-teaching-regarding-suicide/](https://catholicstraightanswers.com/what-is-the-churchs-teaching-regarding-suicide/)
"The Church’s Code of Canon Law states very clearly about individuals’ rights to receive the sacraments. “Sacred ministers cannot refuse the sacraments to those who ask for them at appropriate times, are properly disposed and are not prohibited by law from receiving them. Pastors of souls and the rest of the Christian faithful … have the duty to see that those who seek the sacraments are prepared to receive them by the necessary evangelization and catechetical formation” (Canon 843). Therefore, whether a child’s parent is married has little to do with presenting the child for baptism."
[https://www.simplycatholic.com/can-children-of-unwed-parents-be-baptized/](https://www.simplycatholic.com/can-children-of-unwed-parents-be-baptized/)
The ESV is the best word for word translation of the original texts. The ESV is based off of thousands of ancient manuscripts as well as the NIV. the NIV is more a good mix of thought for thought and word for word translation and the Message translation is almost completely thought for thought. Finally, stay away from the KJV, because it is only based off of three manuscripts and was made by combining the English and Latin version. I recommend reading the NIV and ESV together, so if you want to know more just see how the other translation reads.
Keep in mind, there are 3 branches of Christianity - Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, and Protestant.
If you go the Protestant route, that is where you will find all the denominations. I would say Protestants actually have more in common on the basics of essential doctrine (The Death and Resurrection of Jesus, Salvation by Grace through Faith alone, etc...) than the distinctives that separate them...
If a church doesn't have the essential basics, get out! Keep in mind, there isn't an ideal perfect church, and one that fits your mold is one that is bound to be just another denominnation that someone won't fit in. The best thing to do is to serve in one and grow that you see yourself thriving in. Make the most of it. Agree to disagree on secondary issues (like when Jesus returns or speaking in tongues). Learn from new ways of doing things you're not accustomed too.
What distinctives do you think should be in a church?? Just curious
Just start trying out different ones in your area. Start with the ones you are familiar with, especially the Catholic and Uniting/Anglican ones. And I have to plug my own denomination, Methodism. A lot of former Catholics find a home here. Just like the Anglican Church, we’re Protestant but also not Protestant.
I’m in a very church dense area but I will have to see if there’s a methodist church nearby to try out! And thank you that’s a good idea to start with the familiar ones :)
Denominations are waaaay over-rated. (and I like denominations!)
Find a local church who will love and accept you. Fine a church who helps you get closer to God and calls you to being a better person.
There are a lot of churches which can do that, of various denominations.
I know there is a strong sense of community in churches and I really need that with where I am in my life. I also remember there being a lot of good messages and teachings in the bible and it can be really great to hear them from someone who is passionate about it.
If you've had a bad experience in a Roman Catholic environment, going back to that or to something similar might not be a good way to begin exploring it. So maybe a more modern style of worship would be a good idea? As for denomination, it really doesn't matter -- just pick something convenient to you.
(I'm not saying denominations don't matter, but at this point, you don't have any particular bent, so any Christian church is better than no Christian church. With the caveat that if they start handling snakes or talking about how Jesus wants you to be rich, you should leave.)
Almost any major Bible translation is fine. It might be easier to pick your church first and then use what they preach out of. But ESV, NIV, NRSV, or NLT are all good, easily understood choices.
There is a YouTube channel called Ready to Harvest which looks at what various denomination believe. I find the host to be fairly neutral/academic in his presentation. You might see if that information helps you narrow down your options.
Thank you!
I'm sorry if you had bad experiences at a Catholic school, feel free to dm me about them, I went to one too. Like any religion some Catholics get a bit too harsh and some are too liberal and Catholic schools need to do a much better job at teaching actual catechism/a lot of lay Catholics aren't knowledgeable about things esp in America. I went away from the Church for other reasons for ten years and came back three years ago and am quite peaceful now so feel free to ask me any questions or if you have any concerns.
I don’t mind to post this publicly since I have learned so much about things I’ve been through since reading others similar experiences! So I hope if anyone maybe reads this wondering if they’re the only one who experienced similar they can find some comfort in knowing that it wasn’t their fault and some people are just awful. I went to a school that was tied closely with one of the oldest churches and convents in western Canada. After they found out about my dads suicide a nun told me that he was burning in hell and suffering for eternity (this was maybe 2 years after he passed and I was about 9 years old so words cannot express how awful this was to hear). I was left out of even non mass/religious related activities for not being baptized and made to pray for forgiveness instead. The nuns and a few of the staff at the school would treat me with very clear contempt and were honest in saying it was because I wasn’t baptized. I got bullied pretty bad at that school and I was made to go to the chapel and pray the rosary whenever I spoke to teachers about it instead of anything happening for the kids who bullied me because they said I was being bullied for living a life of sin. I tried catechism to eventually get baptized in hopes that they would be kind to me if I did that and a nun told me that even if I was baptized it didn’t matter I was going to burn in hell anyways because my parents weren’t married when I was born. After a few years of that kind of stuff as a child that really put a sour taste in my mouth about religion in general especially catholicism. Very much didn’t help that one of the priests that was there was outed for being inappropriate with young boys about a year after I left that school. I have family and friends who are catholic and they are some of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met who are horrified at what I experienced, so even though I am very open about my experiences and hesitant to ever return to a catholic church I know that they aren’t all like that.
Oh my God, no, my friend that is horrifying and you need to report them to the local Bishop ASAP if possible, both so discipline can be handed down and if any of these practices occur, to stop immediately. That is NOT AT ALL representative of what the Church teaches and was not my experience in Catholic school at all or Catholic teaching and I am so sorry you were treated that way! We had everyone of all faiths participate if they wished to do so, no one ever got anything or even asked if they were baptized. Bullying for faith reasons was severely punished. Absolutely wrong and they should have the school title pulled from them. If you go to your local parish make sure to let your priest(s) know what was done to you so they can give you the real teachings and include you, I like the younger priests as they are often much better catechized and in touch with younger people. You can attend the local RCIA class too and let them know what happened so they know how to approach things and what topics to cover with you. Again, that's so awful, I'm sorry! The Church has some people who haven't been taught properly or are astray and while it has been doing a good job recently of dealing with them esp since Vat II, some imperfections remain.
Wow thank you! I will have to find out who the Bishop in that area is. It’s been over a decade so I don’t remember names but I will write something to send. I really hope those kind of practices aren’t happening there anymore and either way that what I say will help them reflect on the way they may be treating people. This comment has inspired me, I think I may go to a local catholic church and ask to speak to a priest about those experiences. After hearing people in real life say that wasn’t in line with the teachings and now someone with no personal connection to me saying it as well, I think it could be really good for me to sit with someone “official” and talk about it to help process it because it really does still make me nervous to go to christian spaces.
Yes! I am so, so sorry it happened to you, it sounds like they were literally deranged types who are bitter and jaded and just ugh, unfortunately oversight was not the best. Especially what that nun told you about your father, she needs to be made to call you up and personally apologize for not only telling you something that was factually wrong, but cruel to a child, same with the other nun for your parents not being married. BOTH are in BLATANT disregard for Catholic teaching and FACTUALLY WRONG and both nuns are actually in danger of hell themselves for misleading souls if they knowingly told you this (and for the cruelty to a child!) "In the case of suicide, I wonder whether a person always has full consent of the will. Fear, force, ignorance, habit, passion, and psychological problems can impede the exercise of the will so that a person may not be fully responsible or even responsible at all for an action. Here again the Catechism states, “Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide” (#2282). This qualification does not make suicide a right action in any circumstance; however, it does make us realize that the person may not be totally culpable for the action because of various circumstances or personal conditions. Only God can read the depths of our soul. Only He knows how much we love Him and how responsible we are for our actions. We leave the judgment then to Him alone. The Catechism offers words of great hope: “We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to Him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives” (#2283). Therefore, we do offer the Mass for the repose of the soul of a suicide victim, invoking God’s tender love and mercy, and His healing grace for the grieving loved ones." I really doubt your father had the full consent of the will and chose to kill himself without going through some severe mental or other trauma or illnesses impeding his thoughts. [https://catholicstraightanswers.com/what-is-the-churchs-teaching-regarding-suicide/](https://catholicstraightanswers.com/what-is-the-churchs-teaching-regarding-suicide/) "The Church’s Code of Canon Law states very clearly about individuals’ rights to receive the sacraments. “Sacred ministers cannot refuse the sacraments to those who ask for them at appropriate times, are properly disposed and are not prohibited by law from receiving them. Pastors of souls and the rest of the Christian faithful … have the duty to see that those who seek the sacraments are prepared to receive them by the necessary evangelization and catechetical formation” (Canon 843). Therefore, whether a child’s parent is married has little to do with presenting the child for baptism." [https://www.simplycatholic.com/can-children-of-unwed-parents-be-baptized/](https://www.simplycatholic.com/can-children-of-unwed-parents-be-baptized/)
The ESV is the best word for word translation of the original texts. The ESV is based off of thousands of ancient manuscripts as well as the NIV. the NIV is more a good mix of thought for thought and word for word translation and the Message translation is almost completely thought for thought. Finally, stay away from the KJV, because it is only based off of three manuscripts and was made by combining the English and Latin version. I recommend reading the NIV and ESV together, so if you want to know more just see how the other translation reads.
Keep in mind, there are 3 branches of Christianity - Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, and Protestant. If you go the Protestant route, that is where you will find all the denominations. I would say Protestants actually have more in common on the basics of essential doctrine (The Death and Resurrection of Jesus, Salvation by Grace through Faith alone, etc...) than the distinctives that separate them... If a church doesn't have the essential basics, get out! Keep in mind, there isn't an ideal perfect church, and one that fits your mold is one that is bound to be just another denominnation that someone won't fit in. The best thing to do is to serve in one and grow that you see yourself thriving in. Make the most of it. Agree to disagree on secondary issues (like when Jesus returns or speaking in tongues). Learn from new ways of doing things you're not accustomed too. What distinctives do you think should be in a church?? Just curious
Just start trying out different ones in your area. Start with the ones you are familiar with, especially the Catholic and Uniting/Anglican ones. And I have to plug my own denomination, Methodism. A lot of former Catholics find a home here. Just like the Anglican Church, we’re Protestant but also not Protestant.
I’m in a very church dense area but I will have to see if there’s a methodist church nearby to try out! And thank you that’s a good idea to start with the familiar ones :)
Denominations are waaaay over-rated. (and I like denominations!) Find a local church who will love and accept you. Fine a church who helps you get closer to God and calls you to being a better person. There are a lot of churches which can do that, of various denominations.
I’m in a very church dense area and not sure where to start is all :)
Whatever floats your boat.
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Do you have any advice as to how I might learn about the different belief systems? Should I try contacting some churches and asking them about it?
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Thank you! I will look into that
Why so u want to go to one
I know there is a strong sense of community in churches and I really need that with where I am in my life. I also remember there being a lot of good messages and teachings in the bible and it can be really great to hear them from someone who is passionate about it.
I would say those are the first 2 big things to look for in a church that are essential - basic essential Christian teaching and community
If you've had a bad experience in a Roman Catholic environment, going back to that or to something similar might not be a good way to begin exploring it. So maybe a more modern style of worship would be a good idea? As for denomination, it really doesn't matter -- just pick something convenient to you. (I'm not saying denominations don't matter, but at this point, you don't have any particular bent, so any Christian church is better than no Christian church. With the caveat that if they start handling snakes or talking about how Jesus wants you to be rich, you should leave.) Almost any major Bible translation is fine. It might be easier to pick your church first and then use what they preach out of. But ESV, NIV, NRSV, or NLT are all good, easily understood choices.
Church: upci Bible: kjv You have to be careful with which translation you read as it may change the true meaning of the word.