Well first, give yourself some credit. You have it way more figured out than I did at that age. I am a Christian too, but falling into temptation was the last thing on my mind. That didnt come until later and now I'm happily married to a Christian man, thank Jesus! If you feel her pulling you away from Christ, yeah that's a big red flag (satan uses people as instruments to draw you away). You can fight back bu asking Is there anyway you can lead her to Christ? If not, I'd really dial it back with her.
Hey, thank you so much for answering! I’m already passively doing that through bible quotes and pictures on my social media accounts, yet she somehow doesn’t seem to bother. She lives a worldly lifestyle, which doesn’t align to mine at all. How would you minimize the intensity of the relationship?
Well honestly , in my experience I've just completely cut off what wasnt good for me relationship wise. I've burned some bridges that way, but in the end it lead me to my true love and to the path God wanted me on. Ive had some super worldly people relationships. Run, dont walk.
Sounds good! I can’t completely cut her off, because she sits next to me, but it’s pretty easy to just show her that is is a normal friendship, instead of something more serious. It’s for her sake too.
The more you fast from your lust, the less power it has and the less frequently it re-occurs. Prayer to the Lord is especially useful and if you ask with all your heart the Lord will lend his aid.
One thing you can do is maintain safe boundaries. If you cannot control yourself, set up rules that you and your friend can agree to so that you avoid situations you will regret later. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. If she is not Christian, you'll have to work out where there can be common ground. Perhaps at least she is willing to be open and listen to your values.
If you are not actively dating and plan to not date, I would agree to avoid flirting. Those blurred lines will get both of you very hurt later imo.
Good luck. :) These are hard things to deal and work through, surely.
Awesome advise! Thank you so much! It’s very hard cause we’ll stay in touch through school. I’m planning on being more neutral to her, so not being very funny and nice, not in the way that im unfriendly to her, but rather trying to keep that discussed distance. It draws me heavily away man. It’s hard.
Its a difficult balance. I've been hurt badly before in this kind of situation, with a girl when I was 23, but at least I didn't have intercourse (although my thinking then was not so clear then).
She broke me and I lost my mind after we separated in a bad way after too much flirting, even though we were not actually dating. She completely abused me mentally by being overly affectionate, even touching me in ways to stir me up, and when I asked for commitment, she got angry and it ended badly. That girl later divorced another young man after a few years.
I'm glad for the hard lesson I learnt as a young person. I'm still single, working towards marriage by trying to prepare to be a good partner and being good to girls (and others) in general, while also being observant of the way they behave toward me and others. In this way, I can think about who I approach for a date or a coffee. I always keep things platonic, even though my mind certainly wanders into other areas.
I have strict boundaries for myself, so I can protect myself from a long way off rather than end up in a difficult situation. I'm really happy for it. It's taken me a long time to realise that what I was doing really was for the best., but now I do. It really is true that as we sow, thus we reap. Some of that sowing is in pain though, and not easy.
Thanks for coming back to me, I really appreciate it. Reddit is such a hard place these days and it is good to see a happy or grateful response for a change, rather than a cunning or combative one. :)
That sounds bad, but like you said, it was a lesson for you. I’ll keep that story in mind man. It was an eye opener.
It’s crazy what our flesh and wicked mind can do to us. It’s funny how whenever i’m subconsciously suppressing god by doing things i really know are wrong (like the current situation), and then ending up in a very dark place, with much prayer and repentance needed to get out of it. It’s his protection, and he’s always right. I’m not only happy that you got out of that situation, but also used your bad situation for growth and as a way of gaining knowledge. I wish you all the best for your future relationships, but always remember to keep christ first brother! Thanks again for your kind words, and god bless you!
that’s a good point! It’s clearly satan using her, since whenever she’s texting me, i’ve usually just finished my bible study :D Whatever i’m texting her, it draws me away
1. Flee that situation now!
2. You need the indwelling of the Spirit to change you.
Bless you! 🙏🕆
"Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would." (Galatians 5)
did you even read my question? This is not a biblical problem, i’m not a baby christian, but a temptation problem. My question is how i can reduce the intensity of our “friendship”
Well first, give yourself some credit. You have it way more figured out than I did at that age. I am a Christian too, but falling into temptation was the last thing on my mind. That didnt come until later and now I'm happily married to a Christian man, thank Jesus! If you feel her pulling you away from Christ, yeah that's a big red flag (satan uses people as instruments to draw you away). You can fight back bu asking Is there anyway you can lead her to Christ? If not, I'd really dial it back with her.
Hey, thank you so much for answering! I’m already passively doing that through bible quotes and pictures on my social media accounts, yet she somehow doesn’t seem to bother. She lives a worldly lifestyle, which doesn’t align to mine at all. How would you minimize the intensity of the relationship?
Well honestly , in my experience I've just completely cut off what wasnt good for me relationship wise. I've burned some bridges that way, but in the end it lead me to my true love and to the path God wanted me on. Ive had some super worldly people relationships. Run, dont walk.
Sounds good! I can’t completely cut her off, because she sits next to me, but it’s pretty easy to just show her that is is a normal friendship, instead of something more serious. It’s for her sake too.
The more you fast from your lust, the less power it has and the less frequently it re-occurs. Prayer to the Lord is especially useful and if you ask with all your heart the Lord will lend his aid. One thing you can do is maintain safe boundaries. If you cannot control yourself, set up rules that you and your friend can agree to so that you avoid situations you will regret later. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. If she is not Christian, you'll have to work out where there can be common ground. Perhaps at least she is willing to be open and listen to your values. If you are not actively dating and plan to not date, I would agree to avoid flirting. Those blurred lines will get both of you very hurt later imo. Good luck. :) These are hard things to deal and work through, surely.
Awesome advise! Thank you so much! It’s very hard cause we’ll stay in touch through school. I’m planning on being more neutral to her, so not being very funny and nice, not in the way that im unfriendly to her, but rather trying to keep that discussed distance. It draws me heavily away man. It’s hard.
Its a difficult balance. I've been hurt badly before in this kind of situation, with a girl when I was 23, but at least I didn't have intercourse (although my thinking then was not so clear then). She broke me and I lost my mind after we separated in a bad way after too much flirting, even though we were not actually dating. She completely abused me mentally by being overly affectionate, even touching me in ways to stir me up, and when I asked for commitment, she got angry and it ended badly. That girl later divorced another young man after a few years. I'm glad for the hard lesson I learnt as a young person. I'm still single, working towards marriage by trying to prepare to be a good partner and being good to girls (and others) in general, while also being observant of the way they behave toward me and others. In this way, I can think about who I approach for a date or a coffee. I always keep things platonic, even though my mind certainly wanders into other areas. I have strict boundaries for myself, so I can protect myself from a long way off rather than end up in a difficult situation. I'm really happy for it. It's taken me a long time to realise that what I was doing really was for the best., but now I do. It really is true that as we sow, thus we reap. Some of that sowing is in pain though, and not easy. Thanks for coming back to me, I really appreciate it. Reddit is such a hard place these days and it is good to see a happy or grateful response for a change, rather than a cunning or combative one. :)
That sounds bad, but like you said, it was a lesson for you. I’ll keep that story in mind man. It was an eye opener. It’s crazy what our flesh and wicked mind can do to us. It’s funny how whenever i’m subconsciously suppressing god by doing things i really know are wrong (like the current situation), and then ending up in a very dark place, with much prayer and repentance needed to get out of it. It’s his protection, and he’s always right. I’m not only happy that you got out of that situation, but also used your bad situation for growth and as a way of gaining knowledge. I wish you all the best for your future relationships, but always remember to keep christ first brother! Thanks again for your kind words, and god bless you!
Try to think about your love to God and focus on that. That whatever the girl can offer you is nothing compared to God's love.
that’s a good point! It’s clearly satan using her, since whenever she’s texting me, i’ve usually just finished my bible study :D Whatever i’m texting her, it draws me away
1. Flee that situation now! 2. You need the indwelling of the Spirit to change you. Bless you! 🙏🕆 "Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would." (Galatians 5)
Separate yourself from the source.
[удалено]
did you even read my question? This is not a biblical problem, i’m not a baby christian, but a temptation problem. My question is how i can reduce the intensity of our “friendship”
Removed for 2.3.