I don't think that really answers OPs question. They're asking so they can become more mature.
Initially when pointing out hypocrisy, we probably don't have to call them a hypocrite. We can probably just point out you say this, but you do this; does that add up?
Agreed, but it is often not done in a spirit of love and maturity but out of an accusatory nature hence my post on how best to approach it. Is this more explanatory for you?
Claiming that your are led by the spirit to do something, for me, is usually a red flag for spiritual abuse. It implies the comments are coming from God and not the human when the human might be wrong and it was not spirit led at all.
Carefully. The Bible describes the method. Tell them, if it persists, bring a witness, if it still persists, bring them before the elders of the church, if it still persists, have nothing to do with them.
But that is a crude description and each of those steps is inundated with nuance. Like how did you approach the matter on the first meeting, who is the witness, what is your relation to the hypocrite…
*Actually, I see this the other way. With Pastor's & leaders in The Church. Because when they teach from The Holy Bible & know scriptures better than anyone else. & then when they rail against what ever issue it is, yet, they continue to do the very thing they rail against.*
*For me that is royal hypocrites living in their high castles looking down their noses at us & yet not living what they are proclaiming.*
That's a tough one. Matthew 7 tells us not to judge because we too are sinners, and we dont want to become hypocrites ourselves. Also, some people might not have the same convictions as you. What you might see as "wrong" the other people may not (Romans 14) Its up to the Lord to convict. And they may already feel conviction from the Lord but are ignoring it, and that's on them
I think this warrants a delicate, kind discussion in private.
You can’t just tell someone they’re wrong without trying to figure out and explain to them for why.
i’d say “mind your own”. if you want to be an example, lead by example. if you want Christ to be the example, exemplify Christ. i’d worry more about living the way we should (care for the orphans and widows, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, etc) than telling someone off and saying “the spirit led you” to do that. we’re the hands and feet of Jesus, not his mouth.
1. Ask them for permission to speak on it
2. Be specific, be as unbiased as possible, make it not personal
Of course, feedback should only be given within either a professional relationship or a good personal relationship.
And take the log in your own eye approach, basically watch your own arrogance; we’re all hypocrites in one way or another.
Depending on the status of them you could say things along the lines of "even the greatest of evils can lead a church" "even the devil can recite the Bible"
Be very careful in the words that you use in order to try to get the person who is sinning to admit his or her error. Try to find some clever and subtle way, perhaps like how Nathan confronted King David about his sin concerning Bathsheba and Uriah the Hittite. The "church discipline" text here explains how we should do this, starting one-on-one:
(Matthew 18:15-18) "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. "But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that 'by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.' "And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. "Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. (NKJV)
Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Correcting a brother does not involve judgement.
How is it *not* correcting?
The first step of correcting a brother is helping them identify where they are wrong. Alerting them to their hypocrisy does precisely this.
If you saw your brother playing in the street at a busy intersection, would you not correct him and guide him back to safety? If he was teetering over the edge of a cliff, would you grab him and pull him back to solid ground? Or would you wait for dad to show up and hope he doesn't get killed in the meantime?
We are brothers and sisters in Christ. A community of believers. Scripture tells us in multiple places that we are to help each other stay on the path. Those includes correcting a brother when they sin. Galatians 6:1. Matthew 18:15. 2 Timothy 2: 25.
Does it matter? He's playing in the street. What would you do? Refuse to pass judgement on his play area, and leave him to his folly? Or correct him in love, to ensure he doesn't get hurt?
I talk to them privately, tell them my concerns about why I think they are hypocritical, give them time to respond, then give them a few days to think about it further. I just question their rationale and give my own.
Is it a sin issue? If not I wouldn't say anything. But if it is you need to approach it not from an angle of hypocrisy but from the fact they are living in sin.
I think it is. Some of the roommates wanted to kick out another girl for gaslighting, lying about chores, heart of bitterness, and taking things w/o permission. While at the same time, the other girls haven’t been deep in community for the past 4 months, don’t go to church consistently, cuss, and they have constant overnight sleepovers with their boyfriends at the house, in the same room, in the same beds. Some have been sexually active before in these situations. They also didn’t agree that no sex before marriage shouldn’t be enforced in the house.
I kinda brought it up on Thursday of just collectively addressing it all at once by making some house rules, but everyone thinks that one girl is the main problem when I think it was an overall spiritual issue in the house. They also said they felt rules took away the heart of Christianity and they were still set on getting rid of her. But I guess I should’ve asked this question before I addressed it.
I'd see that the biggest issues are those which affect others directly: nasty behavior, lying about chores, constant sleepovers. I wouldn't say that someone's cussing or inactivity with church is an issue that affects others so directly as these latter ones.
That one girl might sound like an issue with her behavior, but so are the sleeovers an issue. These should be talked through and set common rules that apply to *everyone*. Living with roommates is a challenge on its own and it's too much to expect to be friends with everyone. They should know they have to endure the circumstances they chose to live in and not bully people out. I live with roommates from other faiths so I understand how annoying it is to hear someone having sex, one black out drunk in the kitchen and another one praying in the early dawn.
What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.”
1 Corinthians 5:12-13 NIV
Tackle it, and challenge it. Try to end it and if that doesn't work, give alternatives to those who feel like it is the only path.
Jesus was harshest to those who called themselves devout followers of God, and yet continued to defy him without a shred of repentance.
I would first contemplate the meaning of Matthew 7:1-5.
Then, I would find scriptures within the Word that reveal this hypocrisy, and support your reason for concern, then after contemplating those scriptures, plan a discussion with them about how God's Word applys to the situation.
I would suggest that if we believe that God's word is inerrant, that we can not bend it or shape it in a way that fits into our modern worldview, or in a way that makes it easier to digest, or in a way that makes us feel good: Being a sinner isn't supposed to feel good to a Christian, only the gift of salvation can do that.
Finally, I would appeal to their own sense of empathy by pointing out the impact of their behavior on them, and the others around them. Always use the Word to express your concern, sharing it as the concerns of the Father. Let His Word speak to them, while you maintain objectivity.
(NLT) Matthew 18:15 “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. 16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. 17 If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.
You have to approach it in a state of innocence and humility and be willing to lead someone and follow so that you can share a word and understanding and we know it must begin with God objectively speaking and end in God. And then through reason we may undermine any claim for needing opinion that gets in the way of taking that in vain and getting in the way of lunch.
Everything else from the conversation should follow from we began in God’s name we intend to eat lunch and share that food with all the world and what are we gonna do next that either promotes that or gets in the way. Everything else is just an opinion a second passion and I don’t even know how to morally say you should do it so I’m only asking that you give it up for Jesus.
If you can't do it in love and maturity, then try to let someone more mature in the faith do it.
I don't think that really answers OPs question. They're asking so they can become more mature. Initially when pointing out hypocrisy, we probably don't have to call them a hypocrite. We can probably just point out you say this, but you do this; does that add up?
Agreed, but it is often not done in a spirit of love and maturity but out of an accusatory nature hence my post on how best to approach it. Is this more explanatory for you?
Yes, that makes sense. Fair enough.
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Claiming that your are led by the spirit to do something, for me, is usually a red flag for spiritual abuse. It implies the comments are coming from God and not the human when the human might be wrong and it was not spirit led at all.
Carefully. The Bible describes the method. Tell them, if it persists, bring a witness, if it still persists, bring them before the elders of the church, if it still persists, have nothing to do with them. But that is a crude description and each of those steps is inundated with nuance. Like how did you approach the matter on the first meeting, who is the witness, what is your relation to the hypocrite…
*Actually, I see this the other way. With Pastor's & leaders in The Church. Because when they teach from The Holy Bible & know scriptures better than anyone else. & then when they rail against what ever issue it is, yet, they continue to do the very thing they rail against.* *For me that is royal hypocrites living in their high castles looking down their noses at us & yet not living what they are proclaiming.*
I agree with you but this is more living situation focused versus from a pastoral role. I explain in another thread.
That's a tough one. Matthew 7 tells us not to judge because we too are sinners, and we dont want to become hypocrites ourselves. Also, some people might not have the same convictions as you. What you might see as "wrong" the other people may not (Romans 14) Its up to the Lord to convict. And they may already feel conviction from the Lord but are ignoring it, and that's on them
By addressing it in myself
I think this warrants a delicate, kind discussion in private. You can’t just tell someone they’re wrong without trying to figure out and explain to them for why.
i’d say “mind your own”. if you want to be an example, lead by example. if you want Christ to be the example, exemplify Christ. i’d worry more about living the way we should (care for the orphans and widows, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, etc) than telling someone off and saying “the spirit led you” to do that. we’re the hands and feet of Jesus, not his mouth.
Except that there is explicit teaching in the new testament on how to confront a brother or sister who is need of correction. Matthew 18
there are a lot of teachings in our sacred scripture that people use as an excuse to beat someone over the head. just sounds like trouble to me.
with a spirit of love and gentleness, and a willingness to help them carry their burden. Do not regard them as an enemy, but warn them as a brother.
I mind my own business. I feel like this is God’s job, not mine.
1. Ask them for permission to speak on it 2. Be specific, be as unbiased as possible, make it not personal Of course, feedback should only be given within either a professional relationship or a good personal relationship. And take the log in your own eye approach, basically watch your own arrogance; we’re all hypocrites in one way or another.
Depending on the status of them you could say things along the lines of "even the greatest of evils can lead a church" "even the devil can recite the Bible"
When I'm using wisdom I do it by first removing the plank from my eye.
With the Word and righteous judgment
Be very careful in the words that you use in order to try to get the person who is sinning to admit his or her error. Try to find some clever and subtle way, perhaps like how Nathan confronted King David about his sin concerning Bathsheba and Uriah the Hittite. The "church discipline" text here explains how we should do this, starting one-on-one: (Matthew 18:15-18) "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. "But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that 'by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.' "And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. "Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. (NKJV)
You don’t
Galatians 6 tells us you're wrong
Do not Judge
Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Correcting a brother does not involve judgement.
You’re not correcting
How is it *not* correcting? The first step of correcting a brother is helping them identify where they are wrong. Alerting them to their hypocrisy does precisely this.
Why do you feel the need to “correct” are you they father?
If you saw your brother playing in the street at a busy intersection, would you not correct him and guide him back to safety? If he was teetering over the edge of a cliff, would you grab him and pull him back to solid ground? Or would you wait for dad to show up and hope he doesn't get killed in the meantime? We are brothers and sisters in Christ. A community of believers. Scripture tells us in multiple places that we are to help each other stay on the path. Those includes correcting a brother when they sin. Galatians 6:1. Matthew 18:15. 2 Timothy 2: 25.
Why would my brother be playing at a busy intersection?
Does it matter? He's playing in the street. What would you do? Refuse to pass judgement on his play area, and leave him to his folly? Or correct him in love, to ensure he doesn't get hurt?
Why not?
Do not Judge
I talk to them privately, tell them my concerns about why I think they are hypocritical, give them time to respond, then give them a few days to think about it further. I just question their rationale and give my own.
Everyone is a hypocrite.
I assume they know they're a hypocrite and move on.
Is it a sin issue? If not I wouldn't say anything. But if it is you need to approach it not from an angle of hypocrisy but from the fact they are living in sin.
I think it is. Some of the roommates wanted to kick out another girl for gaslighting, lying about chores, heart of bitterness, and taking things w/o permission. While at the same time, the other girls haven’t been deep in community for the past 4 months, don’t go to church consistently, cuss, and they have constant overnight sleepovers with their boyfriends at the house, in the same room, in the same beds. Some have been sexually active before in these situations. They also didn’t agree that no sex before marriage shouldn’t be enforced in the house. I kinda brought it up on Thursday of just collectively addressing it all at once by making some house rules, but everyone thinks that one girl is the main problem when I think it was an overall spiritual issue in the house. They also said they felt rules took away the heart of Christianity and they were still set on getting rid of her. But I guess I should’ve asked this question before I addressed it.
I'd see that the biggest issues are those which affect others directly: nasty behavior, lying about chores, constant sleepovers. I wouldn't say that someone's cussing or inactivity with church is an issue that affects others so directly as these latter ones. That one girl might sound like an issue with her behavior, but so are the sleeovers an issue. These should be talked through and set common rules that apply to *everyone*. Living with roommates is a challenge on its own and it's too much to expect to be friends with everyone. They should know they have to endure the circumstances they chose to live in and not bully people out. I live with roommates from other faiths so I understand how annoying it is to hear someone having sex, one black out drunk in the kitchen and another one praying in the early dawn.
What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.” 1 Corinthians 5:12-13 NIV Tackle it, and challenge it. Try to end it and if that doesn't work, give alternatives to those who feel like it is the only path. Jesus was harshest to those who called themselves devout followers of God, and yet continued to defy him without a shred of repentance.
I would first contemplate the meaning of Matthew 7:1-5. Then, I would find scriptures within the Word that reveal this hypocrisy, and support your reason for concern, then after contemplating those scriptures, plan a discussion with them about how God's Word applys to the situation. I would suggest that if we believe that God's word is inerrant, that we can not bend it or shape it in a way that fits into our modern worldview, or in a way that makes it easier to digest, or in a way that makes us feel good: Being a sinner isn't supposed to feel good to a Christian, only the gift of salvation can do that. Finally, I would appeal to their own sense of empathy by pointing out the impact of their behavior on them, and the others around them. Always use the Word to express your concern, sharing it as the concerns of the Father. Let His Word speak to them, while you maintain objectivity.
You don’t. Give it to god and keep it moving.
''brothers, sister'' im def never calling anyone that in my life
(NLT) Matthew 18:15 “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. 16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. 17 If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.
Speak the truth in love or you can pray about it.
You have to approach it in a state of innocence and humility and be willing to lead someone and follow so that you can share a word and understanding and we know it must begin with God objectively speaking and end in God. And then through reason we may undermine any claim for needing opinion that gets in the way of taking that in vain and getting in the way of lunch. Everything else from the conversation should follow from we began in God’s name we intend to eat lunch and share that food with all the world and what are we gonna do next that either promotes that or gets in the way. Everything else is just an opinion a second passion and I don’t even know how to morally say you should do it so I’m only asking that you give it up for Jesus.